Ouch. We really are less intelligent when we're angry. Thankyou for posting this. I see myself in all of these and I thought of myself as a logical and smart person. Back to the drawing board... !
Dr Conte,. I have watched every single video on your channel dozens of times, I have read the book walking through anger 3 or 4 times now. when ever I have challenging moments I return to the material and remind myself of the things your speak about. I have to say It has really changed my life. and the way I approach other people. in the beginning it was nice to apply the principles of your material when i first started around 4 months ago. I felt as though i haven't all together mastered it yet and still on occasion have outburst or emotional responses. I struggle with PTSD and Bi-Polar. these conditions are diagnosed ones through the VA counseling and Doctors. Without going on a tangent. there has been a new and extreme problem arise in my life. My children's mother has decided she will Move to the opposite side of the country. They will still be able to visit me during the summer and there isn't anything that I have done that would prevent me from gaining full custody, even though there mother has made the worst kind of mistakes in parenting them...I know, I know extreme language...My children are excited about this move they believe its a new adventure and I don't blame them for feeling this way. Do you have any advice for dealing with the pain and grief and anger of being forced to deal with this in silence due to the fact that my concern for my children's emotional well being override my urge to fight them being away for so long, at all costs. My children have been slowly sliding into deep behavioral problems because of there mother and my separation. having new partners in there lives as in my significant other and there mothers. My oldest daughter age 15 was recently put on probation due to a physical altercation with her mother. Again I am working so very hard to adhere to the principals because they really do infact lead to more positive outcomes but it seems like this is the ultimate test and I am uncertain if an how to work this out. I know your a busy guy and a practicing professional. through the course of learning the material my Girlfriend and I as well as my oldest daughter who I have read the book with 'walking through anger.' have so many questions about its application. At any rate thanks so much for putting this material out there it has meant the world to me
First, thank you so much for your kind words. Second, I am so sorry to hear that you're in pain, but I am also really awed by your overwhelming love for them that you would encourage what is best for them, even if it hurts you tremendously. There's a life-changing book called Man's Search for Meaning, and I highly recommend it to you with what you're experiencing. To me, it sounds like a powerful path you can take is one where you allow yourself to realize the depth of the meaning you have in choosing to put your children's futures ahead of yours. I think that's the epitome of parenthood, and I know that shows a strength that you cultivated being a warrior. And yes, PTSD and bipolar depression are very real, so I'm hopeful that you can find someone near you to talk things out to. I hope this helps brother. Please know, for what it's worth, I'm sending you all my best and tremendous peace.
I just found your videos, I just want to thank you. These videos are helping me so much. I wish I had known about dealing with my emotions years ago, but it just matters where I go from here.
He change’s lives. I have watched his videos , they make sense. I have read his book and it changes you. Everything about him adds upto what he says, his biker look, his Calm tone, his experiences . One thing I have learnt from him is to breathe, consciously bring yourself to the present moment and just give up on what you want to happen. It brings you So much peace and that has opened doors for me. My loved ones were scared of me and now they can’t stand a moment without me. My life would have been behind bars. Your anger is a powerful tool. But only If you know how to use it . And that doesn’t not mean by being physical with someone or cheating ( That is revenge). Be angry at yourself and use it for positive transformation , that’s one at least you’ll make this guy proud.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m most happy to hear that you are in a place of self-control, bc that is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and our loved ones. Please know I’m most definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace. 🙏🏼
Dr. Cole, I have fought my own self for so many years. It took the most amazing person in my life to realize it was me and I have issues. And now I want to fix them. Every single time I watch one of your videos I learn something new and its helping me to be a better person and to understand why I am the way I am. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart this is better than any therapist I've ever sat down with. I will keep listening and keep trying.
Thank you Dr. Conte for another excellent video. I do my planks while listening to your Emotional Management podcast (always excellent) and I am very grateful they are only 1 minute. Maybe one day I will be able to hold a plank for 5 minutes for a 5 minute podcast.
Sadly today there are many emotional arguments occurring on social media, especially in the realm of politics and political parties. People come to a discussion with preconceived notions and biases and as a result, have a closed mind and are not willing to debate intellectually and logically. Comments typically result in name calling and insults, and simply ends with no one willing to debate a point intelligently.
Had a debate today and it was bugging me, but I happened to be recommended this today and it's helped me re-center my thoughts. It's difficult when you actually know information and exactly what the other person read and who wrote it, but they've already accepted an alternate truth.
100% is it difficult at times, so always remember: We master what we practice, and the more we do something, the better we get at it. Sending you much peace!
You just described me through this whole video I swear its like you have watched me. lol but its no laughing matter i know. unfortunately I have ruined my life through these toxic actions. thank you for this video doc i am enjoying your content and learning alot about myself. thank you very much for being here for us.
I have issues with talking back, I am trying so hard to just say LOL, and block the person, been working on that a lot, o rarely get heated but when I do I tell my self to just shut up and move on.
When a disagreement becomes an argument is when emotions enters and logic apears to looses to the irrational emotions. The logical thing to do is exit ASAP to bring an end to the irrational emotions before getting entangled emotionally. Logic wins keeping sanity while the emotional thinks it's won the argument. Self uncontrolled emotions cause all sorts problems which effects probably around 85% of the population. That 85% ego thinks it's self righteous and nothing is wrong about thyself.
I appreciate the statement " Wether you are" but Not " If someone is" . Often we are naturally curious or judgmental on someone rather than evaluating ourselves. 👍
This was really great and timely Dr. Conte. Thank you. I enter into shower arguments all the time. I always come out the victor there but seldom face to face because I start to get heated. This is also timely for my 20 year old son who is hot tempered and always wants to be right. He labels others with heated intensity. We're working on it. He has your book and I'm trying to get him to open it. #Dad'sLife 🙂
Thank you brother. And I laugh every time I teach the concept of shower arguments.... Funnily enough, it came to me one day when I was having one... lol. I also played chess with myself when I was young.... and man did I think I was a great chess player.... until I realized I also housed the body of the losing player, too.... lol. Definitely sending you much peace!
7:32 I think it would be very important here to mention a caveat, that if you bring up other's faults like hypocrisy only when they bring up your faults, you are being emotional and maybe even abusive. In situations like these it is perfectly fine to say that we can talk about my faults later but we're talking about you now. It's a diversion tactic to try to shift the focus on someone else's faults when your mistakes are brought up. But criticizing other people of things that you also consistently do would be also abusive and would warrant pointing out the hypocrisy.
I love your channel, I have a request for a video that’s targeted towards working in a mental health or healthcare. What are some techniques that can be use when having to deescalate a patient that is refusing an involuntary medication administration. This may be oral medication via intramuscular injection.
I love listening to other people's view of the world, i do get excited and can come across as too passionate. But that's probably because I live in the UK lol
Great video. My girlfriend and I watched and had a little bit of fun picking each other apart and learning about ourselves and each other. One request. Please put that guitar on a stand instead of leaning it against the bookshelf 😀 I'm a little autistic and it just needed to be said.
I wonder if people who use intuition based on what the subconscious figures out, would be considered emotional, especially if that intuition is usually correct. I know it is certainly not a valid reason for others to trust the answer but I fix a lot of equipment where I can't necessarily explain "why" I took certain steps, but I knew those were the steps that had to be taken to fix the problem. Another example is playing the guitar, once you get past the basics and get comfortable with the instrument and play by ear, you don't even realize what you are doing because it's sort of like being on autopilot and you only realize this when someone asks you what you did to play something and you have no clue what you did.
Plenty of people down play minimize their hypocrisy. 🙄😑
Creates frustration...
"ego is the sense of who we are, not who we actually are"
Perfection
Ouch. We really are less intelligent when we're angry. Thankyou for posting this. I see myself in all of these and I thought of myself as a logical and smart person. Back to the drawing board... !
Dr Conte,. I have watched every single video on your channel dozens of times, I have read the book walking through anger 3 or 4 times now. when ever I have challenging moments I return to the material and remind myself of the things your speak about. I have to say It has really changed my life. and the way I approach other people. in the beginning it was nice to apply the principles of your material when i first started around 4 months ago. I felt as though i haven't all together mastered it yet and still on occasion have outburst or emotional responses. I struggle with PTSD and Bi-Polar. these conditions are diagnosed ones through the VA counseling and Doctors. Without going on a tangent. there has been a new and extreme problem arise in my life. My children's mother has decided she will Move to the opposite side of the country. They will still be able to visit me during the summer and there isn't anything that I have done that would prevent me from gaining full custody, even though there mother has made the worst kind of mistakes in parenting them...I know, I know extreme language...My children are excited about this move they believe its a new adventure and I don't blame them for feeling this way. Do you have any advice for dealing with the pain and grief and anger of being forced to deal with this in silence due to the fact that my concern for my children's emotional well being override my urge to fight them being away for so long, at all costs. My children have been slowly sliding into deep behavioral problems because of there mother and my separation. having new partners in there lives as in my significant other and there mothers. My oldest daughter age 15 was recently put on probation due to a physical altercation with her mother. Again I am working so very hard to adhere to the principals because they really do infact lead to more positive outcomes but it seems like this is the ultimate test and I am uncertain if an how to work this out. I know your a busy guy and a practicing professional. through the course of learning the material my Girlfriend and I as well as my oldest daughter who I have read the book with 'walking through anger.' have so many questions about its application. At any rate thanks so much for putting this material out there it has meant the world to me
First, thank you so much for your kind words. Second, I am so sorry to hear that you're in pain, but I am also really awed by your overwhelming love for them that you would encourage what is best for them, even if it hurts you tremendously. There's a life-changing book called Man's Search for Meaning, and I highly recommend it to you with what you're experiencing. To me, it sounds like a powerful path you can take is one where you allow yourself to realize the depth of the meaning you have in choosing to put your children's futures ahead of yours. I think that's the epitome of parenthood, and I know that shows a strength that you cultivated being a warrior. And yes, PTSD and bipolar depression are very real, so I'm hopeful that you can find someone near you to talk things out to. I hope this helps brother. Please know, for what it's worth, I'm sending you all my best and tremendous peace.
@@DrChristianConte Thanks so much I will check that book out!
Ill check out that book too. Thank you for your experience.
In my experience, hire a good lawer 50/50 custody.
Aloha from Hawaii
Positive vibes is definitely needed with all of this political divisiveness that's been going on!! Love you, brotha!! ❤🤙
I just found your videos, I just want to thank you. These videos are helping me so much. I wish I had known about dealing with my emotions years ago, but it just matters where I go from here.
He change’s lives.
I have watched his videos , they make sense.
I have read his book and it changes you.
Everything about him adds upto what he says, his biker look, his Calm tone, his experiences . One thing I have learnt from him is to breathe, consciously bring yourself to the present moment and just give up on what you want to happen. It brings you So much peace and that has opened doors for me. My loved ones were scared of me and now they can’t stand a moment without me. My life would have been behind bars.
Your anger is a powerful tool. But only If you know how to use it . And that doesn’t not mean by being physical with someone or cheating ( That is revenge). Be angry at yourself and use it for positive transformation , that’s one at least you’ll make this guy proud.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m most happy to hear that you are in a place of self-control, bc that is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and our loved ones. Please know I’m most definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace. 🙏🏼
Thank you doc you make feel calm. Listening to u
Accountability is key. Thanks, some of these are subtle ones but very important to pay attention when making change. :)
Dr. Cole, I have fought my own self for so many years. It took the most amazing person in my life to realize it was me and I have issues. And now I want to fix them. Every single time I watch one of your videos I learn something new and its helping me to be a better person and to understand why I am the way I am. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart this is better than any therapist I've ever sat down with. I will keep listening and keep trying.
Always love keeping up with this channel. Simplified version of the shared practices between Stoics and Epicureans. Wonderful.
Thank you! Sending you much peace!
Thank you Dr. Conte for another excellent video. I do my planks while listening to your Emotional Management podcast (always excellent) and I am very grateful they are only 1 minute. Maybe one day I will be able to hold a plank for 5 minutes for a 5 minute podcast.
Thank you so much Anna. Sending you much gratitude and peace!
Sadly today there are many emotional arguments occurring on social media, especially in the realm of politics and political parties. People come to a discussion with preconceived notions and biases and as a result, have a closed mind and are not willing to debate intellectually and logically. Comments typically result in name calling and insults, and simply ends with no one willing to debate a point intelligently.
Had a debate today and it was bugging me, but I happened to be recommended this today and it's helped me re-center my thoughts. It's difficult when you actually know information and exactly what the other person read and who wrote it, but they've already accepted an alternate truth.
100% is it difficult at times, so always remember: We master what we practice, and the more we do something, the better we get at it. Sending you much peace!
You just described me through this whole video I swear its like you have watched me. lol but its no laughing matter i know. unfortunately I have ruined my life through these toxic actions. thank you for this video doc i am enjoying your content and learning alot about myself. thank you very much for being here for us.
It's all about perspective 😜 love your work Dr Conte'!! Thank you!
wow!!!!, Thank you !!! For this topic !!! 😮👏👏👏 definitely helpful!!!
I have issues with talking back, I am trying so hard to just say LOL, and block the person, been working on that a lot, o rarely get heated but when I do I tell my self to just shut up and move on.
When a disagreement becomes an argument is when emotions enters and logic apears to looses to the irrational emotions. The logical thing to do is exit ASAP to bring an end to the irrational emotions before getting entangled emotionally. Logic wins keeping sanity while the emotional thinks it's won the argument.
Self uncontrolled
emotions cause all sorts problems which effects probably around 85% of the population. That 85% ego thinks it's self righteous and nothing is wrong about thyself.
I wish you made more videos. It’s like you have met me. 🤣 Thanks for your knowledge.
I appreciate the statement " Wether you are" but Not " If someone is" .
Often we are naturally curious or judgmental on someone rather than evaluating ourselves.
👍
Sounds logical and very rational...Thanks for posting Dr C...Wicked smart
Thank you for the videos. I help many clients by referring them to your videos.
soothing shel silverstein’s done it again 💪💪💯
😂
This was really great and timely Dr. Conte. Thank you. I enter into shower arguments all the time. I always come out the victor there but seldom face to face because I start to get heated. This is also timely for my 20 year old son who is hot tempered and always wants to be right. He labels others with heated intensity. We're working on it. He has your book and I'm trying to get him to open it. #Dad'sLife 🙂
Thank you brother. And I laugh every time I teach the concept of shower arguments.... Funnily enough, it came to me one day when I was having one... lol. I also played chess with myself when I was young.... and man did I think I was a great chess player.... until I realized I also housed the body of the losing player, too.... lol. Definitely sending you much peace!
@@DrChristianConte please do one on how to cure anger and rage form a genocide like 1984
@@DrChristianConte how do we cure.such anger
Doc where is your office what state???
Yeah sure it would. Im 2/6. This video going to be helpful in restructuring myself.
7:32 I think it would be very important here to mention a caveat, that if you bring up other's faults like hypocrisy only when they bring up your faults, you are being emotional and maybe even abusive. In situations like these it is perfectly fine to say that we can talk about my faults later but we're talking about you now. It's a diversion tactic to try to shift the focus on someone else's faults when your mistakes are brought up. But criticizing other people of things that you also consistently do would be also abusive and would warrant pointing out the hypocrisy.
I love your channel, I have a request for a video that’s targeted towards working in a mental health or healthcare.
What are some techniques that can be use when having to deescalate a patient that is refusing an involuntary medication administration. This may be oral medication via intramuscular injection.
I love listening to other people's view of the world, i do get excited and can come across as too passionate. But that's probably because I live in the UK lol
Great video. My girlfriend and I watched and had a little bit of fun picking each other apart and learning about ourselves and each other.
One request. Please put that guitar on a stand instead of leaning it against the bookshelf 😀 I'm a little autistic and it just needed to be said.
Great thanks
I wonder if people who use intuition based on what the subconscious figures out, would be considered emotional, especially if that intuition is usually correct. I know it is certainly not a valid reason for others to trust the answer but I fix a lot of equipment where I can't necessarily explain "why" I took certain steps, but I knew those were the steps that had to be taken to fix the problem. Another example is playing the guitar, once you get past the basics and get comfortable with the instrument and play by ear, you don't even realize what you are doing because it's sort of like being on autopilot and you only realize this when someone asks you what you did to play something and you have no clue what you did.
It's a pity the app is not available in Germany. I'll keep an eye on it, maybe it will be soon. Thank you for the lessons 🙏☺
I'm right- Logical
You are wrong.....also logical
Thanks Dr.Conte .
Do you have a reference in helping people come out of narcissism?
Do you do private sessions?
Sometimes you can't rationalize with irrational people.. so th3n what?
Christians be speedrunning all these
The worst outcomes of arguments comes between a person who argues logically arguing with someone who argues emotionally.
Huge miss.