What is gaslighting?

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  • Опубліковано 11 вер 2022
  • What is gaslighting? #narcissist #emotionalabuse #domesticviolence #toxicrelationships
    Hi everyone! My name is a Lena Nguyen and I'm a divorce lawyer licensed in Texas, California, and New York. I created this platform to provide you with helpful insight to assist you with your divorce and life after divorce. Next with Lena Nguyen is all about helping you enter the NEXT phase, write the NEXT chapter, and climb the NEXT step in life.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 129

  • @lindavandenbogaard3266
    @lindavandenbogaard3266 4 місяці тому +8

    When your always feeling like you’re walking on eggshells and in constant fighting over nothing and your constantly being blamed for everything and everything even if it’s the other person fault somehow you did something to make that person do it
    RUN !!!!

  • @roopeshjayaprakash9493
    @roopeshjayaprakash9493 Рік тому +31

    I’ve been in such a relationship as a victim, but didn’t know it had a fancy word

    • @ggsotora
      @ggsotora 5 місяців тому +2

      Same. I think he's jealous of me or something. No idea why because I'm a loser just like him. He's probably just 100% psycho.

    • @asmitaghorai7332
      @asmitaghorai7332 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@ggsotoraPush the guy away from you as soon as you possibly can hun, I'm assuming you already did since this comment was from like 3 months ago.
      And make sure his shii backfires at him. Be safe! You totally deserve better.

  • @Kitty_bandida22
    @Kitty_bandida22 11 місяців тому +11

    I remember growing up I lived with really gaslighting parents

    • @onouphrios
      @onouphrios 11 місяців тому

      you’re crazy man

  • @hardcaselj111
    @hardcaselj111 8 місяців тому +10

    "It didn't happen, but you had it coming," the turkish route of gaslighting

  • @macarrao4281
    @macarrao4281 Рік тому +84

    What would it be called if you’re the one convincing yourself that ur just sensitive

    • @LenaNguyen
      @LenaNguyen  Рік тому +56

      Lack of self-confidence! Know your worth and know that your feelings are 100% valid!

    • @jimmygarcia6766
      @jimmygarcia6766 Рік тому +1

      ​@@LenaNguyen it means you gaslight yourself far too much.

    • @ok-yn6sd
      @ok-yn6sd Рік тому +3

      ​@HAPPY STOLZMONAT👑 ligma what?

    • @bismitsatyashreechandan1253
      @bismitsatyashreechandan1253 Рік тому +8

      ​@@ok-yn6sd ligmaaa baaaalllllsssssss 👅🍒👅

    • @patriciaobrien2775
      @patriciaobrien2775 11 місяців тому

      ​@@bismitsatyashreechandan1253idiotic....

  • @Kate-bf9xt
    @Kate-bf9xt 4 дні тому

    Yes and it’s important to know the signs.

  • @sunkissed6614
    @sunkissed6614 Рік тому +6

    I'm experiencing some withdrawals from weaning off alcohol. I begged for help from my husband and got angry because he's too self-obsessed to care. He called be mentally sick, a loser and a reject among other lovely things. I got triggered to a point that I left my support group just because that reminded me of my weaknesses. I've always accepted and apologised for every mistake. I've always been aware of my wrongs and wanted to better myself. Only very recently I realised that no matter what I do or don't do, every single thing that goes wrong with this relationship will be my fault. I see very clearly now how the tables are turned. I wish it was just him doing this shit to me, it's his mother too. My parents get a call when I behave out of line but today he hit me on the head with his sandals and when I called my mom, my mother-in-law says "Youre taking it too hard on yourself. Take it easy". So here I am dealing with these narcissistic manipulative self-obsessed Gods while I'm only human. But one thing I'm never doing from now on is accepting a single fault of mine. I'll deflect, I'll get defensive, I'll effing turn the tables on them so fast, they won't even realise what hit them on their humongous heads!

    • @no2mob889
      @no2mob889 Рік тому +1

      Lol you go get it!!!

  • @wescheslak9408
    @wescheslak9408 4 місяці тому +2

    Very well said .
    Thank you.

  • @dark7angel456
    @dark7angel456 2 місяці тому

    Thank you this is what happens to me a lot

  • @GingerJinji
    @GingerJinji 7 місяців тому +4

    my parents in a nutshell

  • @nickp1786
    @nickp1786 Місяць тому

    I’ve been getting gaslit for my entire life then

  • @stacywalker4494
    @stacywalker4494 7 місяців тому +2

    Ty for the knowledge

  • @MegaSundar007
    @MegaSundar007 Рік тому +3

    Maha on fire … really moved by the authentic film makers passionate thoughts. Awesome interview.

  • @gorillamaster101er
    @gorillamaster101er 5 місяців тому +1

    It actually comes from a 1940s movie called "Gaslight"

  • @Adam-cl9xr
    @Adam-cl9xr 26 днів тому

    I JUST ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP. No apology… no nothing. They’re thoroughly screwed up! And MOST IMPORTANTLY… NEVER TAKE THEM BACK UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

  • @_Renee2
    @_Renee2 Місяць тому

    My mother has done this ever since I can remember. I learned to shut down and not show any emotion/reaction.

  • @danceloverr.
    @danceloverr. Рік тому +1

    bro walked backwards and still had good aim,,,,,,, HOW😭😭

  • @BetterbowI
    @BetterbowI 8 місяців тому +2

    that’s not true, gaslighting is lighting a stove on fire

  • @MsAngeliclight
    @MsAngeliclight Рік тому +3

    We all have good and bad days, just as we all may not always make good decisions or good calls on situations and over others. However, that does not give anyone the right to ridicule or make less of your choices or your mishaps. Not one of us is perfect any day of the year. Gaslighting is just an expression of what many these days have decided is acceptable behavior. As far as I'm concerned anyone who behaves in this way is truly the one in need of help. I know who I am, what my strengths and my weaknesses are, and I have accepted that. I do not need anyone else, who is also tainted, to tell me who I am or should be. Value yourself. Period.

  • @ubeezy_538
    @ubeezy_538 5 місяців тому +1

    It doesn’t have to be an “abusive relationship”. Gaslighting is a verb and anybody could be doing it 🤦🏽‍♂️

  • @RobertHolck-dw6pr
    @RobertHolck-dw6pr 2 місяці тому

    How can you project the way the victim will respond to gaslighting

  • @flyingfoxes.
    @flyingfoxes. 4 місяці тому

    My sister does this all the time. She calls everyone fat then acts like we’re psycho when we get mad at her ugh

  • @ThunderousNinja
    @ThunderousNinja Рік тому +1

    Yep...now I know I'm not the narc in this issue.

  • @sevillem5343
    @sevillem5343 6 місяців тому

    This is what my boyfriend always does to me and tells me I am too emotional. But “he is a good dude”

  • @number1rosco
    @number1rosco 8 місяців тому

    My brother does this to me 😤😢

  • @angelinaramos5870
    @angelinaramos5870 5 місяців тому

    Trueee

  • @user-dy4xw7cq8y
    @user-dy4xw7cq8y Рік тому +3

    What is it called if u mess with ur girl in a normal way like say something silly like ur dumb in a really nice joking way and she makes you feel like you are a mean person who needs to apologize even though she was never really mad and just wants to act mad

    • @_fadingcolors
      @_fadingcolors 2 місяці тому

      Just because you're "joking" doesn't mean it's okay to say something if it hurts the other person.

  • @josh-tp8cy
    @josh-tp8cy 8 місяців тому +1

    How do we know who’s gaslighting who?

  • @danieldimitri6133
    @danieldimitri6133 4 місяці тому

    There was a play called angel street in the 1930's that was made into a British movie around 1940 called gaslight which is how the term was coined. There may have been a 1944 remake in USA but the 1940 version was also re-released in 1952. There was also a Hollywood remake in recent years.

  • @tomahawk5959
    @tomahawk5959 Рік тому

    Thanks for explaining the meaning

  • @scarletoracle
    @scarletoracle 11 місяців тому +1

    I just wanted to add that it's not always name calling. For example. My ex would complain about something, in this instance let's say it's the homeless population. I would point out that we live in a poor city/state. He then would run with my statement saying I'm always negative, have nothing nice to say about City, that I just want to move away, that I'm always starting trouble or that I'm overreacting.
    When all I did was point out that we have an economic issue that maybe causing homelessness around here.
    A gaslighting abuser will literally make you feel like everything you say and do is wrong

  • @sophiaann2986
    @sophiaann2986 Рік тому +2

    What do I do when my court appointed lawyer is always gaslighting me?

  • @kozubart
    @kozubart 2 місяці тому

    "You think that's how you feel, but that's not how you actually feel. I think you are confused." "You need to be institutionalized"

  • @trommelbiel
    @trommelbiel 6 місяців тому

    Straight to the point. Cool.

  • @NycoleIdris
    @NycoleIdris 6 місяців тому +1

    The abuser will hack your phone, listen to your conversation, get other people to do his dirty work, then whatever they heard you say in private, they repeat

    • @KL-zg7lu
      @KL-zg7lu 3 місяці тому

      I've had someone do this multiple times. Got new phones, went to a domestic violence shelter, he stole mail to get phone id, hacked the phone, and even got someone staying near the shelter to do his dirty work.
      Having pickup trucks follow me everywhere, even while staying at a domestic violence shelter, having people follow me around.
      There is a few men who all follow the same m.o. even a person who grew up in my neighborhood ended up being a covert religious narcissist.

  • @percubit10
    @percubit10 10 місяців тому

    I have been like this for a long time. I am just tii sensitive

  • @rev347
    @rev347 Рік тому

    Thank you for the tips

  • @kevinfrank7550
    @kevinfrank7550 Рік тому +1

    I have a question please:
    Sometimes people's perceptions are warped. Would giving different perspective to them to challenge their perception also be considered gaslighting?

  • @asriel4600
    @asriel4600 Рік тому

    My gf did this whenever I did something stupid like push her friend down the stairs, I dunno

  • @the.one.Equestrian
    @the.one.Equestrian 8 місяців тому

    Oh god. Don’t call me a bad name.
    The humanity!

  • @saulberg5247
    @saulberg5247 4 місяці тому

    MMM yes please

  • @alcyonem2866
    @alcyonem2866 10 місяців тому

    Im still confused 😢

  • @mindyourbusiness1934
    @mindyourbusiness1934 Рік тому

    bad name is subjective and dependent on context the "victim" has every right to leave a relationship if its "abusive".

  • @rifahnanzeeba8657
    @rifahnanzeeba8657 10 місяців тому

    My story has a villain who is a psychopath since a really early age but grew up in a quite abusive house which made her mentality worsen year by year. Although her mom wasn't abusive at all but she didn't got any full support from her mom and her mom herself was abused by the father and therefore was too scared to even say anything to her husband. Now the thing is I want my Villain to traumatise my main character and gaslight her into believing that the reason for the death of my main lead's older sister is she herself. But heres the problem I am facing. Why? Why does my Villain wants to traumatise her? What's the relationship between her and my main lead. I am so confised how to put sense into their relationship.

  • @jondoe406
    @jondoe406 Рік тому +1

    Gaslighting is word used when you want to start drama but dont have a real reason

  • @markweston216
    @markweston216 Рік тому

    Didnt know it had a name. Ive done yhis gor years

  • @dodonggalochino5392
    @dodonggalochino5392 Рік тому

    Gaslighting is a type of manipulation that

  • @ibear162
    @ibear162 Рік тому +2

    How can we overcome this situation?!😢

    • @lovelyladycarter3687
      @lovelyladycarter3687 11 місяців тому

      Leave/ disassociate if you've addressed it and they don't stop 💯🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @KaushikBala333
      @KaushikBala333 9 місяців тому

      Don't give a shit

    • @TiredOfthisstuff
      @TiredOfthisstuff 8 місяців тому

      Come on, you know It dont play with us

  • @jettanthony4902
    @jettanthony4902 Рік тому

    For real?? Just realized someones been doing this… someone close

  • @thebread9186
    @thebread9186 Рік тому

    I like to gaslight people in the game sea of thieves and then they go insane

  • @boisarecuteness
    @boisarecuteness 5 місяців тому

    im not a gaslighter i dont belive in gas or lights.

  • @truthblunt
    @truthblunt Рік тому

    Gaslighting is clearly a myth even based on this definition.

  • @abolisher
    @abolisher Рік тому

    This doesn’t just happen in relationships these individuals will gaslight anyone. Some girl in my class would gaslight me by saying why do you take everything I say seriously after saying who hurt you in previous abusive relationships. She would then give me her number and when I would say a simple good morning to her she would say can you stop ruining my day. Very confusing person and I’ve dated A BPD girl before but A Gaslighter is much more confusing !!!!

  • @TheMunkzilla1
    @TheMunkzilla1 7 місяців тому

    This is called gaslamping not gaslighting.

  • @BitesZaDusto.
    @BitesZaDusto. Рік тому +2

    I clearly don't have sanity look at my pfp its Gordon Ramsey with killer queen

    • @Lawrenceshow_me
      @Lawrenceshow_me Рік тому

      👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES)
      Telegram only to get him😎🤩

  • @waverave24124
    @waverave24124 Рік тому

    I'm surprised so many claim she is a gaslighter to Ron when all the signs were never her fault and she had to keep a secret from him and harry on how she was taking advantage of her studies. Only Dumbledore knew of thr truth and she still had no choice but to tell harry about the time turner due to the serious situation they were in. Also another thing, Ron was injured aaaaannnddddd this was to make up the time Hermione couldn't be with them when she was petrified in the second book, chamber of secrets. Being a victim from a gaslighter that questioned my self worth and isolated from everyone because they believed the abuser...ive seen enough to know who is the vicim and not. She was playing a lil fun with Ron at the end but this is NOT gaslighting.

  • @sophiaann2986
    @sophiaann2986 Рік тому

    If you want to know what gaslighting is then get a court appointed lawyer to help you with your case.

  • @niteknight2170
    @niteknight2170 Рік тому

    Does this happen to men?

  • @DeniseSkinner68DeniseSkinner68

    Sounds like narcissism to me what is gas-lighting when it comes to technology though

  • @michaelwells7348
    @michaelwells7348 10 місяців тому

    Now ~ Thats EXACTLY what Donald Rump is up To.

  • @el777verg
    @el777verg Рік тому

    The word doesn't exist.

  • @FallNightt
    @FallNightt 5 місяців тому

    Gaslighting does not exist

  • @Tender-Noodles
    @Tender-Noodles Рік тому +4

    Soooooo? Any argument with a woman is gaslighting?

    • @Lawrenceshow_me
      @Lawrenceshow_me Рік тому

      👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES)
      Telegram only to get him😎🤩

    • @CoreyJFoley
      @CoreyJFoley Рік тому +1

      I could not agree with you more

  • @CoreyJFoley
    @CoreyJFoley Рік тому +10

    You are gaslighting us into watching your video.

    • @Lawrenceshow_me
      @Lawrenceshow_me Рік тому

      👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES)
      Telegram only to get him😎🤩

    • @StompaJay
      @StompaJay Рік тому +10

      No she isnt, you're just overthinking and being crazy.

    • @LenaNguyen
      @LenaNguyen  Рік тому +12

      I need to do a better job at gaslighting considering my view count is still low.

    • @CoreyJFoley
      @CoreyJFoley Рік тому +5

      I was totally joking! You are doing a great job. My only opinion is that people are now using the term "gaslighting" too much in personal scenarios. Keep up the good work.

    • @LenaNguyen
      @LenaNguyen  Рік тому +3

      @@CoreyJFoley thank you! And I agree! People throw that term around very loosely!

  • @wreckitjax
    @wreckitjax 7 місяців тому

    That’s not gaslighting dude

  • @haidenbrazil1015
    @haidenbrazil1015 10 місяців тому

    no it isnt

  • @DinaAlhemadi
    @DinaAlhemadi Рік тому

    What if the "victim" is an abuser as well and they just taste their own medicine?
    What if the "victim" keep testing the "abuser" and it is just their way to defend themselves.
    What if the "victim" is making troubles out of nothing? Keep complaining about everything, suddenly becomes a domestic cancel culture?
    Victim mentality is the plague of this day and age!

  • @RichyScott
    @RichyScott Рік тому

    Gaslighting doesn’t exist

  • @neworleansrealshit
    @neworleansrealshit 8 місяців тому

    This is not wat gas lighting is your definition was rite bas example

  • @greenbeanbedroom
    @greenbeanbedroom 2 місяці тому

    What? gaslighting isn't real, what are you talking about?

  • @tukashiet9402
    @tukashiet9402 Рік тому

    You’re wrong that’s not what gaslighting is you’re trying to make people scared over something for no reason smh

  • @jhon8497
    @jhon8497 Рік тому +1

    It doesn't matter if you gaslight them if they still decide to stay it's there fault

    • @Lawrenceshow_me
      @Lawrenceshow_me Рік тому

      👆👆Living with a Narcissist is a worst type of living! The gaslight and lies! Get a basic analysis of what your partner does in secret! This professional can get you TEXT MESSAGES! CALL LOGS! EMAILS AND SOCIAL MEDIA all clouds (DELETEL AND NON DELETED MESSAGES)
      Telegram only to get him😎🤩

    • @michelles1250
      @michelles1250 Рік тому +2

      That's... it's not that simple. I left a very mentally abusive relationship of 5 years a few years ago. It's complicated, especially when love is involved. Victims of gas lighting are often convinced that they are the problem in the relationship and stuff like their self esteem, self worth, etc break down and they don't quite understand how to leave or if they even should. Just because the victim struggles to escape an abusive relationship it does not remotely excuse the behavior of the abuser.

    • @LenaNguyen
      @LenaNguyen  Рік тому +3

      @@michelles1250 100% this. I am so glad you were able to leave that relationship! You are so strong, and I am sure you realize that now. Hindsight is 20/20. Keep shining 💫

    • @michelles1250
      @michelles1250 Рік тому +2

      @@LenaNguyen Thank you, that really made my day 💖 Keep shining as well!!

  • @haidenbrazil1015
    @haidenbrazil1015 10 місяців тому

    youre being sensitive

  • @CR604
    @CR604 Рік тому

    Youre makeup is off

  • @loveflower3961
    @loveflower3961 Рік тому

    Thin eye brow = woman look
    Thick eye brow = man look

  • @mr.legobama6793
    @mr.legobama6793 Рік тому +7

    I love gaslighting 💞💞💞

  • @buckbuck9225
    @buckbuck9225 Рік тому +1

    sometimes the "victim" is fucking nuts and uses gaslighting as a defense.

  • @YankeeFlamee
    @YankeeFlamee 10 місяців тому

    Jesus is the only way