The best date I have ever been on with the best & most cherished woman to my life was an invitation to Fogo De Chao that I completely paid for. Would have been better if it was SP Steakhouse, but that's on me for not getting a reservation in time. 😂 Point being, men like providing, men like paying, men like being men in relationships. It's part of why I've paid for almost every date I've ever been on in my life, unless someone sneakily asks for the check & pays while I'm int the bathroom. *Please avoid using language that makes us feel like we are suckers for doing so with shaming language!* It's reinforced at almost every point in society that men have to earn our value, we do not bring anything to the table by ourselves just by virtue of existing or being born... we kinda low key know that. That's a big part of why so many men feel compelled to pay for everything. Just don't *confirm* it out loud by having a professional psychologist & relationship counselor do the algebra on a 5m subscriber youtube channel of *my company + money = your company* Whatever else I have to bring to the table to be worth your company, means *my company = your company - money* The only way to balance that equation is to assume our company is worth... less. Talk about a way to feel icky... Trust me, rich rebuilds nor any other 3rd party repairman is jumping out of the shadows like question 1 TV ads imply, to rp you, just because you paid for your own food!
here's the problem Lou, your understanding of modern feminism is outdated by a few years. There's a new recent shift from the objective of equality for women to an objective of "equity" for women. Which is essentially a shift from equality of opportunity to equality of outcome. So no... women are no longer fighting for equality in any way shape or form. The oversimplified explanation is that women now want to enjoy the privilege of equality when it best serves them and they want to enjoy the benefits of the older traditional gender roles when it best serves them. Good luck navigating this new psychological kung fu.
I Knew this was gonna be a Good and Helpful for me video just by your thumbnail. I am an attractive Man and Nice, and I encounter coworker women who talk to me like i am trash because i am a Cook and I only make $16 an hour, but they flirt their way into Cars and Cash and Phones, and they teach eachother how to be a Predator. But men participate too. But, They are the Sexual Predators preying on The Loneliness of Men that are created by Low pay.... You are On Point . thank you for making me feel like i am not CRAY. tHANKZ. Have a GooD DaY!!🦘🐿🦔🐫🐪🐰🐦🧀🥙💰💽💾💿📀📟📠
I fully believe in gender equality. Women desire and deserve to be paid as much as men at work. Women should also be willing to pony up on the first date, if you desire to be taken seriously.
@@personaldronerepair6141 And should woman make up the same percentage of work place deaths? What you mean is paid for the same job however this will never be the case. Example; Females make up 87% of nurses yet on average make about $10k less per year. Why is that. Simple men are the ones who take the over night shifts, the also take the overtime where women do not. Once this is accounted for men actually make less on a per hour basis because in most hospital settings female RNs start a higher pay than their male counter parts (except in states were wages are published and this fuckery cannot take place)
Lois you are completely right when you say that Women say they want equality but in reality they only want the good parts ... Where I come from, the custom is that Men are still seen as the Main Provider ... And when someone says you are my guest, it is expected that the host will cover the entire bill ...
Woman are just the oldest teenagers in the room. Most females stop mentally maturing when the realize they have unlimited male attention just for being alive. Once a woman becomes a mother a good percentage will change but not all.
The funny thing is that Bill Burr made that skit years before that relationship counselor did this interview. Bill Burr was on the money. He has been on the money for a long time.
For the record, it was the interviewer who called it an ick, not her. She just agreed. I notice no one is rushing to call the guy a 4 yo. Wonder why...
@@Andyisgodcky The point? Are you saying that women are using the work "ick" to intentionally sound like toddlers? First: I don't think that's true. Second: my comment stands, that is stupid.
I genuinely have to say, the moment she said "unsafe" I felt insulted... And I've never even been in the mentioned situation. But the sheer thought that some women might stamp me as a predator because I didn't feel like paying for a coffee, THAT was just something else...
Thats because she is an educated and entitled moron. Or the wonem she is describing on behalf of are that mornonic. BUT THAT IS GOOD! You can say for free and right away your date is trash.
and nothing wrong with that they can want whatever they want. Problem is men giving up on that demands and allow them to do that than cry about it alter on XD
@@EnderElohim you're right, there would be nothing wrong with it, if it was a failing strategy, but clearly it's a winning strategy for them it's our fault, as in men
@@giampaolomannucci8281 Yep. Men abusing men is horrible. That include laws too like divorce laws fuck men all over the place. In my country we still dealing with unlimited alimony + unlimited money from government to women if women not working and married. So they abuse the shit out of it.
@@boadiceameridionalis3732Man i don't even know how i got here either, i think i looked up how to crack open a 1st gen ipod that one time and shortly after, i got this angry short north american man absolutely killing it on fixing an unfixable macintosh laptop on my recommended and i was then and there, forever interested. Him yelling at the same things on the internet that thoroughly disappoint me is a nice bonus!
Sounds like the landlord needed to rent the house to a family member for $1 a month. Draft the lease and when someone invades the home, they tell them to GTFO there's already a lease on the house. It's not vacant it's rented by someone else. There are laws to protect tenants, not landlords. So when you rent to a family member you can utilize tenant protection laws to f the fake tenant. Because the legislature for NYC = the patients running the asylum so you need to think like a sick patient.
You're lucky. VERY lucky. It's very important to highlight that for every one of these fucked up examples I am playing here, there are 10,000 women like YOUR GIRL that are kind, caring, sympathetic, empathetic, and have no egoistic feeling of entitlement to your money. nor are they scoring you negatively based on you not spending on them. It is very easy, whether it is political, gender-based, or anything else, to see these examples and assume that this is everything you find out there, rather than this being An isolated example. Do not assume that the entire world is filled with people that feel a sense of entitlement to your money. UA-cam and forums will always have the most extreme examples and then our brain extrapolates that and assumes that's the entire world. In reality, most of the world is filled with people like your girl and kudos to her and you for finding one another and making it work!!!
@@rossmanngroup a lot of people seem to have forgotten that other people are PEOPLE. You're not shopping for groceries, you're looking for someone to spend your life with. If you need to play games to fool them into dating you, enjoy playing games for the rest of your life. I'd much rather be with someone I understand and who understands me. Cut through the BS. Just appreciate one another as humans.
The women around me are very kind and nice but because I have watched so many videos of women ruining men's life, cheating and with all the statistics about divorce, false allegations, men's unknowingly raising someone else's children I am too scared to even try to get in a relationship with anyone. I am afraid that there is more to them than I can see and what they aren't showing could be an Amber tud.
A high school teacher of mine one said "Value yourself and someone who values you the same will find you." It's been the best advice I've ever had when it comes to dating
In a world where women don't value themselves, have body counts of 30+, dating multiple people at the same time, and then expect traditional treatment from men.
@@DanCojocaru2000 Nobody is going to "find you" if you're putting yourself above everyone else and not dating. No random princess is going to knock on your door one day or randomly approach you just because you deserve them... Get real
Important addendum: you make your decision by your actions not by your words. If you say you want chivalry, and only go out with "bad boys" who don't give you chivalry, you're demonstrating you don't want chivalry. (Or equality lol)
"I feel unsafe" Right... because there has never been a creep or a s€&ual predator that will pay for your things in order to build trust before showing their true colors.
I’m so tired of people using “unsafe” as a magic word for “you have to care about and agree with what I’m saying or you’re an evil bad person who wants me to be in danger.”
And the guy pays three four times for her meal, well there is a point of payback...that may be where the third date sex thing came from. You brought everything to the table (pick her up, pay for dinner etc) and now it's her turn.
@@mushyroom9569Look up the white feather in World War I. Women put white feathers in the caps of men out of uniform shame men who were not joining the military to fight in the war. Shame from women has been a very strong method of engineering the desired behaviors from men.
Women want to feel taken care of, which is fine, but they feel entitled to those feelings on the first date for some reason. Your analogy with sex is spot on.
Guys who expect sex on the first date are creeps, but women who go on dates solely to get free food are fine... 🤔 (not to say that a _lot_ of women do that, but they're out there.)
Never in my life have I tried to "impress" a woman on a date by doing things I don't normally do. I married a woman without dumb ideas about ego and every day I wake up next to the best choice I ever made. You get pretty far in relationships by just being honest.
If you're trying too hard to impress, you're not being yourself. Once it's time to settle in and you don't need to anymore, they're only going to feel like you're not the same person anymore. If you want something real, be yourself from the start. The person they start dating is the person they'll expect when they commit. I learned that the hard way in my 20s.
@@stackflow343 This is exactly why so many people say "he/she/they changed! they weren't like this before" like yeah, because they weren't being honest--maybe they didn't realize it, but they weren't. So many relationships are doomed from the start because people just don't know how to be real with each other, it's nuts.
People who think like her believe their time is worth more than yours. Avoid being with people with that mindset, it'll eventually blow up in your face.
It's me+ syndrome in full force. The same way she felt _"insulted"_ that she wasn't worth the coffee, I'd feel insulted that she felt my company was not an equal trade for hers. For everything said about all the fucked up ass red pill influencers on this platform, you can get advice almost as shitty from actual relationship counselors. I don't understand how reinforcing this concept is a good influence on young men. You, as you are, is not enough. You have to make up for bringing less to the table with your devalued company by paying more in another area for her highly valuable company. I say this as someone who's paid for every first date since puberty... what a sad message this sends young men.
@@rossmanngroup I fully agree with you. I've been a licensed, working, therapist for eight years. I hate to say it, but majority of therapists out there just try to make their clients into versions of themselves. Not to focus on that part too much, but that's what really hit home for me because if a young woman had this mindset and presented it to me, I would process with her the results of it. I wouldn't just instinctively try to red pill her or something. This counselor is just thinking for her clients instead of teaching them to think for themselves. It's disgusting when people in power spread their venomous world views.
@@rossmanngroup Be encouraged, young men are not buying what these girls are selling. I believe this disconnect has peaked in absurdity, and the pendulum is swinging back to the norm of tradition. Many people live a traditional life, but you just don't see it televised or glamorized because the govt and junk makers won't get the extra revenue if people saw there was a better way than this rampant narcissistic consumerism. The thought occurred to me that the lady speaking in the video is of an older age cohort that may have bought into the me-me stuff, and herself thinks in this "unsafe" word salad construct (also, working in therapy, they can go loopy themselves). Some of the younger women are extreme examples of this, and appear objectively ridiculous. Recent clips from the "whatever" podcast are either a goldmine of laughs or will drive you to despair for young women, but should encourage you about young men. Thanks for talking about "me +," I hadn't heard it before and it makes perfect sense.
Honestly when someone acts like that and wont go on a second date because you wanted to split it kind of filters them out for you. It might actually be worth it to do that one a first date even if you plan on paying for every date after that just to lose people that think they are worth more than you.
Does anyone else recall the days when men were told to go dutch to avoid the implicit power imbalance of "I bought you dinner so..." to remove creepy expectations?
And now there are videos of guys asking if he's going to get any, she says "no", then he says "we'll take a split check", and she acts indignant. Both sides are acting entitled. And as prices for a date keep going up, more and more men will wonder why they don't just pay for a professional over a meal for some entitled snob that gives them nothing in return.
Agreed, never thought dinner dates on the first go is smart, just do cheap stuff like the movies or a coffee until you know their moral fiber enough to not get scammed into footing some bill.
Coffee has always been my go to. Low time commitment, or you can be there for hours. If you drink, a drink in the evening is great too for similar reasons. Don't get drunk though.
the "fails to provide because he doesn't pay" argument is hilarious. I can just as well think "if this guy can't think of himself and his own well being and stability first, how's he going to take care of me?"
Having once been love-bombed by someone who turned out to be an abuser, I subsequently felt less safe with the guy who insisted on paying for everything.
I don't think whether the guy pays on dates or not is an indicator of safety either way, there were probably other red flags from the abusive guy that are much more reliable.
Some of us would love to feel more provided for, it does feel safe, but it doesn’t when men yank it away at any moment so again better to have your own everything… and yes love bombing is alarming agree with tht
@@elmateo77Refusal to let the other pay is a red flag. "Only if you insist", or a formulation of that type, shouldn't constitute a red flag. Basically if you can't even let the other makes small choices that don't impact you, you're being too controlling.
A woman paying for a first date is actually a good way to detect creeps. If you pay and they start freaking out about being "EmAsCuLaTeD," then good job, you just dodged a bullet.
I still wonder if planning before a date to check on how to pay, like even plan out the budget so the bill splits is the norm. Why is paying in full to demonstrate something still the norm??
You know I was thinking you were bit too emotional or enthusiastic with this and was thinking "hmm isn't he being little too dramatic", until you mentioned how "unsafe" can make people lose jobs, get kicked out of properties and generally make the rest of the dude's life miserable, if not completely unliveable. And dang, as soon as I realized that, I was really taken aback by the realization that I was internally okay and had made peace with the assumption that anything I do could be seen as "unsafe", and consciously or subconsciously was putting in effort to just stay out of the way of women, and on days where I feel low, not even make eye contact with them when I have to interact with a woman. And at some point I guess I just *accepted* and believed it as a fact that my *very being* is unsafe for women, and people in general. Sometimes it makes me ashamed to be a man. Maybe I'm being a bit too dramatic here, I don't know. The even scary realization was that being okay with this would cost me a lot of things - jobs and whatnot. Thank you, Loius, really appreciate you putting this video out. Also I am not sure lol I think my stuff is being randomly removed. Someone say something if you see this lol, thanks :)
I've personally gone full monk mode and it's staying that way for the foreseeable future because I'm tired of the bullshit. Enjoyment of free time, sanity and money saved has all improved 200%.
Yea I went full monk mode in my late 20's because of all the bullshit and it felt great. Now in my early 40's I feel so... F'ing lonely, I have no doubt it's clinical depression. Which then makes finding someone so much more difficult, in addition to today's dating world. So difficult, like in my 20's, I don't want to particpate... I'm gonna die alone. That's frightening.
@@lgg2304 I feel you bro. I'm in the same boat. I thought I'd found a good one, turns out she's a malignant narcissist who literally set me up, lied her ass off to the police and now I'm having to try to defend myself against a 3-7 year sentence. Just so that she can cash in on a lousy 18k "victim" payment, from what I can gather. I don't want to tar them all with the same brush. I want to hold on to hope that there's still some good women out there. I'm sick of the loneliness. I don't know what to make of anything anymore. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to fund my legal defence. The situation I have found/put myself in is so astronomically far from just, or even something to be expected... it beggars belief. But here I stand. Laws are not written with men in mind. I'd take loneliness over incarceration any day. *most probably this won't even be seen.
I'm glad I live in an egalitarian paradise called Finland. Here women here take pride in equality. They sometimes make it clear before going out on a date that they'll be paying for their own meal. It's also common to take turns. "It's my treat this time and next time it's yours". This way everyone gets to both be generous and feel special.
Same thing in Sweden. But, then again, the USA is often behind the times with things like this. They pretend that they're not, but sometimes (like with dating) they really, really are. Not all Americans and all that, but as a culture...
@@renakunisaki Exactly, I'd feel utterly unsafe hearing the word. Also, she must've accepted the interview, so implying to every man they're "unsafe" if they don't pay every woman... *shudder*
I find it wild that she's self-aware and intelligent enough to recognize that if she thought through her expectations she'd find them irrational, but hasn't actually done so, especially as a practicing therapist. That interview should have been about how she USED to think and feel that way.
@@wolfdragonhorse Her entire point is *literally* that these are the sorts of reactive thoughts we all have and then have to challenge. Exactly what you would want out of her.
I pay for myself, and she pays for herself. I don't want someone who can't take care of themselves and their responsibilities in life, and expecting me to pay *your* bill gives a lot of bad signals (you might not financially stable, you can't handle responsibilities, you're not independent, you might be manipulative and abusive). If I decide to pay the bill, it's a kind and generous gesture on my part (or her part), not because it's somehow expected of me.
I don't think we should be roasting her though, she's just saying what (probably) most women are secretly thinking. We should be praising her for giving us this rare and valuable insight. Like yeah she's coming out and admitting that she's a piece of shit, but everyone is a piece of shit. Thanks to honest pieces of shit like her, the rest of us know what to brace ourselves for.
Damn Louis, I feel bad you have those self doubts. I hope you understand that there a lot of us out here IRL that think you are one of the best human beings on the planet. Keep up the excellent work.
This Rossmann rant definitively proves that variety is the spice of life! Starting with the podcast is like a skilled chef showing up with takeout…it’s not what you came for, it’s not what you wanted, but you don’t want to be rude. You roll with it. But then the Rossman meat comes down the line, hot and heavy. Overflowing with flavor. Stuffed with nutrients. A true palate cleanser. And then the real hit… 10:10 …aw yeah, give us that GOOD shit, chef.
You're definitely spot on with our company not being enough. Even though I grew up in a more than healthy household, for some reason that thought also sits in my soul. Ironically, I would probably pay for a (reasonable) date if she didn't expect it, but if she came with an attitude like the lady in the video, I probably would not. One thing I think a lot of men have issues with these days is the expectation that men uphold traditional gender roles while there is no expectation of women to do so.
100% true. One thing that we hear every single day is that we are not going back to the 1950s. You'll hear the 1950s discussed as this horrible era. And we can probably agree on some of it. But if that's the case, why does my wallet have to behave as if it was 1950?
@@rossmanngroup Yea. A lot of people really like demonising the past, but if I look at my parents and grandparents, they all had marriages that were happy, fulfilled and lasted until someone died (of natural causes). And they didn't just stay together because they had to. How come in this brave new world that is so awesome, people (in this case men and women) are more divided than ever and divorce is at an all time high?
Genuine question, on a first date what would you expect of the woman to signal she stands by traditional gender roles? I ask because it seems to me that a lot of what our culture has become kind of mandates that women give up how traditional women used to be. From wardrobe to what we're expected to do in society (eg women are expected to work like men now instead of being homemakers). Obviously later in a relationship it's a lot easier to make that traditionality more clear, but on a first date where you know nothing about each other I don't know what you would expect.
@@Snow-Willow Be nice. Don't be on your phone. Be on time. Don't say "yes" to the date if you already know you aren't interested but free food sounds good ... I think that's it. That's what I consider basic respect. Like, don't be 30 minutes late on purpose to play some weird head games. My time is as valuable as yours.
@@Snow-Willowlittle things, if she makes it a point to mention that she disdains dating applications is a big one for me because that tells me that if I pay for your dinner I'm not paying for a woman that's going on five other dates this week with five other men. Little things in demeanor. I wish I could better explain it.
This channel being variety is just one of the many reason why I love it! I also love the mini series you've done over the years and hope we do get another in the future!
What I love most about this channel is that Louis has good working common sense. You might think you're crazy when looking at the world around you. You reason things with good vs. bad. A lot of other people reason with profit, ego, status or other self-centered beliefs.
I'm at that point in my life where if someone gets upset by some irrational gesture thing then good, they've filtered themselves out, I don't want to be with someone like that anyways. They're wrong but I can't waste my time trying to convince someone this broken. Nor would I want to. If they think this about one thing, they probably think wild shit about other things.
That's about how I feel. I see asking about splitting the bill as a litmus test. If the date feel entitled to me paying then they have filtered themselves out.
I had to stop the video 3 minutes in when she brought up safety. Hold the phone, this one has me fuming. Okay, I'm a woman. I'm married these days, but back in my dating days, it was always the men that insisted on paying for everything that scared me. The guys that would *reject* my offer to pay now and then, or at least split the bill. Because every single time, those men turned out to be unhinged lunatics who wanted to own me like a pet, and intended to have me indebted to them in ways that money does not buy. Being a woman seen as nothing more than property that's been bought is a terrifying prospect. Money and things don't earn my attention. I grew up poor, I'm caliced and adaptable. It might work on bougie women, but I don't associate with that, because becoming dependent or indebted to the wrong person is TERRIFYING.
You're dead on. Exactly what you described happened with my parents: my dad insisted my mom quit her job (she was making more than him) because it threatened his ego not to have control. She didn't realize her mistake until much later.
I might be misunderstanding Okay so what you're saying is it is better that people split the check because no one will feel like they have to reciprocate anything correct. For myself I'm not old but I was raised to be a gentleman so for me if I'm going out with someone if I invited you I'm paying if you want to split okay sure I don't mind but I'm never going to ask to split a check no one owes me anything it's just the way I was raised. So is it that that behavior will make me seem predatory Am I getting that correct cuz like I said if the other individual wants to offer to pay half I have no problem with that I'm not so much stubborn that I'm set in my ways you have to change everything changes we move with time.
I specifically waited to attempt to date until I left the overwhelmingly Italian/Irish middle-class area I grew up in because of all the retrograde stereotypes, but even still I always pay (I sometimes even pay for the table with groups of friends). If a date asks to split, I'm actually *more* interested because it signals to me she's also not hung up on retrograde stereotypes and is looking for a partner, not a replacement for her dad.
@@hre713 I think that a man insisting initially is nice. It's the assertion that he must be the one who pays 100% on every date without room for discussion or at least having some way to balance it. "I pay this time, you pay next time" if she insists on helping makes complete sense. I've been on dates where the guy couldn't pay. But each time, he brought it up *before* getting anything (these guys assumed they were not going to order). And I insisted on it. It's just a little pick-me-up gesture to show that it's perfectly okay. Never thought less of a person for this. Sometimes we forget our wallets or fall on hard times. Now if he orders and *then* reveals she has to pay for him, that's a grimeball she's got on her hands. Women should not do this either, and it shouldn't just be socially okay. Worked with women who did this to their dates... I don't make friends with the type. Just my thoughts.
@@hre713 Took me a couple reads of both the OP's post and your response, but I think you and I might have a different take on this than the OP. Honestly, think both sides are pointing out red flags that should end any chance of a relationship. Okay, end of the date and I offer to pay. She says she wants to pay half. I decline, saying I have it. At that point, the OP is saying that my refusal to let my date pay half is a red flag that I'm somehow controlling. Pretty sure you and I both disagree with that sentiment. However, if her next response is, "No, I want to pay my half," that is a red flag for me that SHE isn't someone to date! Now she is the one that is controlling, demanding I fit her mold of what a date should be. (I was raised same as you so someone who is gung ho adamant about splitting is telling me they were raised differently and chances are, we aren't compatible as a match so better to go looking for someone else.) From the sounds of it, I doubt I would have wanted to spend more time with someone with the OP's views just as I don't think it would be worth the hassle when there are other women available who, if not share my views, are at least more tolerant of them and how I was raised. By the way, when I dated, I usually would reply, "I'll get dinner if you'll get the tickets for the movie!" That way, we didn't "split" the bill, but both of us paid for part of the night's activities. It also helped gain a sense on whether the date was always going to expect me to pay. (I'll gladly pay for a formal first date; after that, if this is to be a relationship, we're sharing in the costs as well!)
Louis Rossman for president!! There are few good role models to look up to these days. I’m glad you exist. every one of your videos leaves me saying “that is a good man right there.” We need more people like you as leaders in our country! Unfortunately, honesty and a strong sense of ethics doesn’t seem to get you very far in the political world. Anyway, I have so much respect for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this platform.
Hang on a moment, a female date getting upset over a bloke not paying for the whole thing.... The inference of their behaviour suggests they won't put out if you don't pay the bill. That's a little bit too close to prostitution for my liking and I would happily never see her again for getting stroppy over splitting the bill.
ever considered coaching? you have a very convincing manner. a dangerous one in fact. I feel like you have the power to convince me into something I usually wouldn't do, and I don't think I'm easy to manipulate most of the time. what sorcery is this? great video, great points. thank you
...I'd have to put my own life in order before I can advise others. And that's a long way off. This channel’s always been my creative outlet. Take it for what it is, the rants of a crazy man, nothing more, nothing less!
Flip side - the person insisting on paying for everything may be doing it for control and to create the impression that they owe them. This is regardless of gender. No matter what, anything can be potentially unsafe. In any case - who pays first or who doesn't - it's all based on culture and upbringing and whatever floats their boat.
"No matter what, anything can be potentially unsafe." A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. I'd rather not take that attitude, and I hope whoever I romance doesn't either. Because if they do then human relationships are impossible.
@@CertifiedDoc despite past trauma or bad experiences, there's still a chance it can be overcome, even though that journey might be different for everyone.
10:09 at this point louis's channel is officially my favorite channel, from fighting with eulas, protecting repair rights without a paper to read the text from, encouraging others over failures and just truly being there for your subscribers... We love u Louis. ❤
I value equality. If a woman I'd go on a date with was so keen to uphold traditional gender roles as to find it weird for us to split the bill, I'd find that a massive red flag. If someone doesn't want a second date just because of me wanting to split the bill, the bullet has made me dodge itself. If you value me for my money, I no longer am in a social relationship with you, I'm in a financial one. In other words I become a "customer". The only real silver lining in this is that it's very easy to get rid of these people if you just recognize what they're doing. TLDR: I am more than my wallet.
I agree one hundred percent with you here, the word "unsafe" has no rational basis here. Offering or suggesting to split a bill is pure practicality and a completely neutral thing. The economy is in shambles right now and chivalry is EXPENSIVE. Hell, dating in general is expensive, and that's *with* splitting bills. Even asking someone else to foot a bill, in any context up to and including a first date- in a heterosexual relationship or otherwise- is at worst an awkward or embarrassing position to be in and at best a total non-issue. Bringing safety into the equation here is such a manipulative and shitty thing to do for what even the most high-maintenance of partners would call a social faux-pas- NOT a red flag for someone being a creep. The bar for people to not be labeled as a creep, or dangerous, or unsafe *cannot* be set so high that something as innocuous as choosing whether or not they foot a bill would trip them up. Men, I promise you, you will never need to pay your way into a healthy relationship. The most important thing you're bringing to the table is yourself, NOT your wallet.
Something about this comment untied the knot that clip put in my stomach. Sometimes it's really hard not to think women genuinely don't even think of us a human beings on the same level as them. Which would be less confusing if i didnt hear women saying they felt the same from men my entire life. Its like they *know* what its like, and dig their heels in anyway.
She is not suffering financially, nor would anyone she is dating. I find her insufferably out of touch, especially considering she is a purported "expert" on relationships who is not married, nor has ever been married and is a single mother. It's like getting advice on how best to clear the jump from the cliff to the water, from the paraplegic who missed the jump two weeks ago.
That’s not entirely true though is it? Not if you are looking for a woman to be a great mother and take care of your children and your household. Then just being you really isn’t going to be enough. She is going to need to be quite sure that you can take care of things financially.
@@nicwelchYou make a fair point, which is that depending on the type of partner your looking for and the life goals/ roles you intend to have, then finances absolutely can be a make-or-break deal. But even then, a financially stable partner isn't automatically a good or healthy or "safe" person just due to that one trait. The *most* important factor will always be how well you mesh as two individual people, which sets the foundation of the entire rest of the relationship. Basically, yes money can be a big factor for long term relationships. But disagreements over who is paying on a first date are just signs you might not have compatible views on things- such as what ways you'd expect a partner to support a joint household. Which is fine! That's the whole point of dating, getting to know people to try and see if you'd make compatible partners. What the name on a dinner bill DOESN'T show is that a man is "unsafe" or a creep, which is a point that I do think still stands (not that I think you were saying as much, I'm just still mind-boggled at that being a concept in the first place)
Very well said. Unsafe is so much the wrong word. I would never pay for everything just for a date with someone. Glad to pay for family and friends, and people I know and love, but not for a stranger whom I might or might not see again. Men should put the foot down and stop this ludicrous entitlement.
Most men nowadays are apathetic towards dating because of how social media has warped people's perceptions if reality. They dont want to invest into someone who'll drop them on a dime, and splitting the check is usually the go to.
I was watching this older movie the other day and they pretty good points like taking a woman out to eat on the first date is a bad idea because you don't know if you are going to be invested or interested in that person beyond the first date so its better to take them out for like a quick drink instead to get to know them and then once you feel like your comfortable enough you can ask for a second date to go out to eat with the third and forth dates to get more intimate with each other if it ends up getting that far.
@@Dragonk116 Still sounds like terrible advice bro. Boomersims don't work for the world of today. Here is the real question. Where do you even meet new people? Everything has been abstracted to social media that its impossible to talk to anyone in the real world. They just have earbuds in and they scroll scroll scroll on instaslut.
Most of the people I’ve known who later turn out to be psycho/stalker types went WAYYYY over the top to impress women with lavish gifts, picking up tabs, etc …at the beginning of the relationship.) That is much more of a red flag for safety issues, IMO.
Dating in '24 is like opening a present. You don't know what you're going to get. I'm fine with paying for a night out, date or just with friends. I have no expectation that the other party is going to put a dime toward it, but it's nice to be surprised every now and then when you fight them at the register. To me, that builds trust and acknowledgement that there is a good chance that they will do for you in the future. This whole "not feeling safe if the guy doesn't pay", I'd love to hear them talk about feeling safe when the guy buys one too many and you wake up not knowing what happened the night before.
It is unsafe for my wallet to pay for meals on random strangers. That's dating to me... wastefully spending money on strangers. I don't date at all anymore.
The greatest gift a girl ever gave me on a first date was insisting she cover half the bill before she ghosted me and blocked my number. That's integrity I've never before seen from a girl. When she blocked me on face book etc etc I had this warm fuzzy feeling. The only thought going through my mind wasn't the pain of rejection or the mysogonistic hatred it was "That was super classy of you to pay your half". If sshe had called me back a week later I would have had no hard feelings I would even done a second date. That's what society needs. If they have zero intention of a second date they should insist on paying half. "Ya know what steve.... Let me venue you $20 for the movie ticket and popcorn to" Seriously... that's equality. It'ss also the best time and place to less than subtly say there won't be a second date, and it makes the man feel way less exploited.
Based Louis. It irritates me as well. Everything is equal until the paycheck comes. How bout stepping up and bringing something to the table. You setup the date. You pay for it. What makes this thing even worse, is there are women out there who take advantage of it. They know they want nothing to do with you, and will still go out with you, string you along, waste your time, lie, and take your money. It's a BS double standard that doesn't make sense anymore.
Yep and a lot of men have now caught on to that BS game women keep playing around and so they are learning that "yeah no I'm not wasting my time with this" but what have women learned? Doubling down on this stuff essentially learning nothing from their own actions.
"You setup the date. You pay for it." That literally still means men pay for it. Stop with the subversive phrasing. When has a woman ever set up a first date? Now extrapolate that again against the other 4 billion women. Can you even count on one hand how many women did that?
One of the best first dates I've ever had was with a woman who decided to pay for it. I paid her back with interest by going on a second date with her at a nicer place and paying for it. We had a great time with each other, but the relationship didn't work out. I still think of it and her fondly, because I felt flattered and repected, which is very rare for a man. My wife and I split all costs on our first date. Been together for 7 years now. The fact that neither of us felt pressured at all on the first date was relaxing.
The days of the white feather in the cap are long gone. Look up the white feather in World War I. Women put white feathers in the caps of men out of uniform to shame men who were not joining the military, so they'd fight in the war. Men signed up to get shot at & die in war to avoid being shamed by young, attractive women. It's a real thing - and it's why I was so offended at it here. Men are sensitive to this, to an irrational degree, that we will literally agree to fight & die for some faraway fkface king to avoid being shamed by young single women. Using shaming language on men _(as in, it isn't my vanity/ego that is the problem - rather, _*_you_*_ make us feel _*_unsafe_*_ )_ has been an exceptionally effective method of engineering male behavior for a very long time. I don't blame people who use it without knowledge or understanding, but I expect more from a relationship counselor/psychologist - these types of people have the self knowledge and information to know better. A college student doing this, even a 27 year old doing this, fine. She's way older, more educated, and above all: *SPECIALIZED* in this field. She knows better. I don't think people in 2024 realize why they're doing it consciously while they're doing it. It's not some conscious evil conspiracy. I don't believe it's that sinister. It's just something that worked for a very long time that kind of got culturally ingrained. If something made your ego or vanity feel hurt, you can use the tools available to you to get men to act differently, or you can work on yourself so your ego/vanity doesn't disregulate your emotions. The former is the path of least resistance. So she adjusts her word choice to make it about someone else, rather than herself. I am expected to keep my ego and vanity in check, and I am expected to regulate my emotions & expectations. I don't see what is wrong with asking the same for someone I am vetting as a life partner & mother of my children.
@@rossmanngroup I remember the white feather in the cap, but it was a different era. Conspiracy or not, most men now know to not pay for first dates or even coffee because too many women have taken advantage of this just to get free meals.
@@rossmanngroup Private Norman Demuth, who had been discharged from the British Army after he had been wounded in 1916, received numerous white feathers after he returned from the Western Front. In Forgotten Voices of the Great War, Demuth is quoted as saying: _"Almost the last feather I received was on a bus. I was sitting near the door when I became aware of two women on the other side talking at me, and I thought to myself, 'Oh Lord, here we go again'. One lent forward and produced a feather and said, 'Here's a gift for a brave soldier.' I took it and said, 'Thank you very much-I wanted one of those.' Then I took my pipe out of my pocket and put this feather down the stem and worked it in a way I've never worked a pipe cleaner before. When it was filthy I pulled it out and said, 'You know, we didn't get these in the trenches', and handed it back to her. She instinctively put out her hand and took it, so there she was sitting with this filthy pipe cleaner in her hand and all the other people on the bus began to get indignant. Then she dropped it and got up to get out, but we were nowhere near a stopping place and the bus went on quite a long way while she got well and truly barracked by the rest of the people on the bus. I sat back and laughed like mad._
@@anotheruser9876 I am of the firm opinion that we are _owed_ one last great Coppola film in the Godfather franchise. It would be named 'The Godmother' and then 'Carmela Corleone' appears under. Coppola only people please?
Makes you wonder what the purpose of the date was. To get to know the person? Or a free panini? Saying "i had a fantastic time on the date but no next date because he didn't pay" just shows it wasn't about the fantastic time at all 😂
Right? I see asking to split the bill or at least asking how should WE go about covering the bill as a litmus test. If she tries to shame me into paying for it that is a good sign to never speak to this person again. Instead if I get a positive response by offering to split the bill then that is a good sign that this is someone worth asking for some more dates.
@@nolongeramused8135I encourage you to wait until you've dated more than 5 women in your life to make these judgments, like yeah this world is full of assholes but god damn dude no situation is that hopeless unless you are
I'm over 40 married with kids and own a house. I'm still not in a great place financially but still better than most. I used my wit and had lots of luck to be where I am today. I have two sons and I don't see them reaching where I am ever due to the state of our social reality in the United States. Not a religious dude but I still pray for this next generations young men.
That clip was extraordinary. It's never occurred to me in 50 years of life that sensible people think that way 'He doesn't like me because he didn't pay for my coffee, (and I'm never going to see him again because of that)'. I've always paid for my share of food everywhere. Other people can pay for theirs. Why on earth would that be a problem? And most of the people I hang out with do the same. It's generally the bon viveur types who buy a lot of extras and wine that prefer to split bills evenly :-) It is true that I've never been on a 'date' in a restaurant so never had to deal with this issue directly. But apparently I would not have done very well at it if these people are at all representative, although I like to think I'd only be going out with sane people! I have bought my wife dinner from time to time, but also vice-versa. We gave up doing separate finances after a few years.
Something within me launched off like a fucking rocket when I heard her say that she wouldn't feel "safe" if her bill wasn't paid. Safe? SAFE?! _Not_ the word choice here. I'm glad that didn't just fuck me up.
You are not immune to toxic behaviors. Gays also have to deal with people trying to get them drunk to take advantage of them. You can still end up a one night stand when expecting more. If anything, being gay simply because of bad experiences with the opposite sex is a vulnerability that can be exploited. You’re already more likely to trust the same sex as a result. Humans are capable of evil, on any side of the sexual spectrum.
Any woman who is self-centered enough to expect me to pay for the first date isn't worth a second. Any woman who doesn't offer to pay for her share is either broke, or a mooch. If she's broke, sure, I don't mind helping out a bit, and I've done so before. The problem is, most of the time, I feel like they're mooching off of men. Equality means you pay for your meal and I pay for my own meal. If we aren't entering into a potential relationship equally, well, that's just not a good relationship.
Louis, we men are viewed in the frame of being good host organisms. This is the quiet part that women don't want to say out loud. I came to the conclusion that dating and relationships were permanently damage a decade ago or more. I was also troubled by what she said, but you put it so much better than i. Thank you.
Jesus I am going to be alone forever at this rate holy moly what the hell are these expectations. I dont understand people, much less women in an intimate sense/environment.
It gets easier the older you get. At some point in your life will just stop giving a fuck. You're not missing much anyways. Find a good hobby. Find some like minded friends.
Do what you do because you want to do it, or will help you do what you want to do. Do not put a mask to please someone else. You got one life. Live it.
I don't think women even understand what they do half the time, because they don't learn from their mistakes like men do. Men are learning that this is a loseing game so the only way for a man to win is to not play the game. Women however have avoided complete lack of accountability for pretty much everything in their entire lives so they have learned absolutely nothing from their own actions.
The best date I have ever been on with the best & most cherished woman to my life was an invitation to Fogo De Chao that I completely paid for. Would have been better if it was SP Steakhouse, but that's on me for not getting a reservation in time. 😂
Point being, men like providing, men like paying, men like being men in relationships. It's part of why I've paid for almost every date I've ever been on in my life, unless someone sneakily asks for the check & pays while I'm int the bathroom. *Please avoid using language that makes us feel like we are suckers for doing so with shaming language!*
It's reinforced at almost every point in society that men have to earn our value, we do not bring anything to the table by ourselves just by virtue of existing or being born... we kinda low key know that. That's a big part of why so many men feel compelled to pay for everything. Just don't *confirm* it out loud by having a professional psychologist & relationship counselor do the algebra on a 5m subscriber youtube channel of *my company + money = your company*
Whatever else I have to bring to the table to be worth your company, means *my company = your company - money* The only way to balance that equation is to assume our company is worth... less. Talk about a way to feel icky...
Trust me, rich rebuilds nor any other 3rd party repairman is jumping out of the shadows like question 1 TV ads imply, to rp you, just because you paid for your own food!
here's the problem Lou, your understanding of modern feminism is outdated by a few years. There's a new recent shift from the objective of equality for women to an objective of "equity" for women. Which is essentially a shift from equality of opportunity to equality of outcome. So no... women are no longer fighting for equality in any way shape or form. The oversimplified explanation is that women now want to enjoy the privilege of equality when it best serves them and they want to enjoy the benefits of the older traditional gender roles when it best serves them. Good luck navigating this new psychological kung fu.
I Knew this was gonna be a Good and Helpful for me video just by your thumbnail. I am an attractive Man and Nice, and I encounter coworker women who talk to me like i am trash because i am a Cook and I only make $16 an hour, but they flirt their way into Cars and Cash and Phones, and they teach eachother how to be a Predator. But men participate too. But, They are the Sexual Predators preying on The Loneliness of Men that are created by Low pay.... You are On Point . thank you for making me feel like i am not CRAY. tHANKZ. Have a GooD DaY!!🦘🐿🦔🐫🐪🐰🐦🧀🥙💰💽💾💿📀📟📠
I fully believe in gender equality.
Women desire and deserve to be paid as much as men at work.
Women should also be willing to pony up on the first date, if you desire to be taken seriously.
@@personaldronerepair6141 And should woman make up the same percentage of work place deaths? What you mean is paid for the same job however this will never be the case. Example; Females make up 87% of nurses yet on average make about $10k less per year. Why is that. Simple men are the ones who take the over night shifts, the also take the overtime where women do not. Once this is accounted for men actually make less on a per hour basis because in most hospital settings female RNs start a higher pay than their male counter parts (except in states were wages are published and this fuckery cannot take place)
I recommend hoe math to everyone, be a gentlemen but also realistic about women.
I feel unsafe watching this because Louis isn't sending me free money.
Not only that, I feel he thinks he's entitled to my like and subscribe
this
me too
“She was having so much fun till the bill came” pretty much sums up what it’s like dating in the modern world
wow I didn't realize it got so bad
I'm too autistic to understand that 'logic' or lack thereof.
No no no
Correction this its the Clown World!
@@ares395Im not autistic and do not understand the logic whatsoever... It really is just female company = Male company + 1, like Louis is explaining.
Lois you are completely right when you say that Women say they want equality but in reality they only want the good parts ...
Where I come from, the custom is that Men are still seen as the Main Provider ... And when someone says you are my guest, it is expected that the host will cover the entire bill ...
She said "Domestic Violence Advocates" and I thought "Who would advocate domestic violence?"
I heard that too. "Advocates for Victims of DV" is the implied meaning but it doesn't sound right said like "DV Advocates".
@@bugostareWell, terrorists do advocate all types of violence not just the domestic type
@@bugostarebut why are you singling out islamists particularly??
@@Mai_TS--_--because culturally women have to submit, that's a pretty stupid question
@@Arxgxmiculturally men have to submit to Islam too...
It's almost like men should have a rule "Never pay for the first date" as a litmus test to weed out the narcissists.
😂
"We are not a dating advice channel."
I'm glad that Louis changed his mind on that. XD
next up: fixing your cock ring 💪
Give him cookies 🍪
Women calling things they find unattractive "icks" is so stupid; it makes them sound like 4 year olds instead of grown adults.
Woman are just the oldest teenagers in the room. Most females stop mentally maturing when the realize they have unlimited male attention just for being alive. Once a woman becomes a mother a good percentage will change but not all.
You stumbled on the point.
The funny thing is that Bill Burr made that skit years before that relationship counselor did this interview. Bill Burr was on the money. He has been on the money for a long time.
For the record, it was the interviewer who called it an ick, not her. She just agreed. I notice no one is rushing to call the guy a 4 yo. Wonder why...
@@Andyisgodcky The point? Are you saying that women are using the work "ick" to intentionally sound like toddlers? First: I don't think that's true. Second: my comment stands, that is stupid.
I genuinely have to say, the moment she said "unsafe" I felt insulted... And I've never even been in the mentioned situation.
But the sheer thought that some women might stamp me as a predator because I didn't feel like paying for a coffee, THAT was just something else...
Thats because she is an educated and entitled moron. Or the wonem she is describing on behalf of are that mornonic.
BUT THAT IS GOOD! You can say for free and right away your date is trash.
"Women want the authority of a man , the privilege of a woman and the accountability of a child"
preach, brother!
RIP to Patrice O'neal, who originally said that
and nothing wrong with that they can want whatever they want. Problem is men giving up on that demands and allow them to do that than cry about it alter on XD
@@EnderElohim you're right, there would be nothing wrong with it, if it was a failing strategy, but clearly it's a winning strategy for them
it's our fault, as in men
@@giampaolomannucci8281 Yep. Men abusing men is horrible. That include laws too like divorce laws fuck men all over the place. In my country we still dealing with unlimited alimony + unlimited money from government to women if women not working and married. So they abuse the shit out of it.
Louis is just using this channel to yell about everything on the Internet that annoys him, I love it! Never a boring video
I'm not even here for repair stuff. The adblock stuff brought me, and it's getting better every video.
I’m starting to equate Louis with the “Old man yells at cloud” meme
@@boadiceameridionalis3732Man i don't even know how i got here either, i think i looked up how to crack open a 1st gen ipod that one time and shortly after, i got this angry short north american man absolutely killing it on fixing an unfixable macintosh laptop on my recommended and i was then and there, forever interested.
Him yelling at the same things on the internet that thoroughly disappoint me is a nice bonus!
We need to get him a cloud backdrop or screen overlay lol
Sounds like the landlord needed to rent the house to a family member for $1 a month.
Draft the lease and when someone invades the home, they tell them to GTFO there's already a lease on the house. It's not vacant it's rented by someone else.
There are laws to protect tenants, not landlords. So when you rent to a family member you can utilize tenant protection laws to f the fake tenant.
Because the legislature for NYC = the patients running the asylum so you need to think like a sick patient.
I don't understand normie dating at all. I'm glad I found a nice girl who I don't have to play these fucked up social games with.
You're lucky. VERY lucky. It's very important to highlight that for every one of these fucked up examples I am playing here, there are 10,000 women like YOUR GIRL that are kind, caring, sympathetic, empathetic, and have no egoistic feeling of entitlement to your money. nor are they scoring you negatively based on you not spending on them.
It is very easy, whether it is political, gender-based, or anything else, to see these examples and assume that this is everything you find out there, rather than this being An isolated example.
Do not assume that the entire world is filled with people that feel a sense of entitlement to your money. UA-cam and forums will always have the most extreme examples and then our brain extrapolates that and assumes that's the entire world. In reality, most of the world is filled with people like your girl and kudos to her and you for finding one another and making it work!!!
@@rossmanngroup a lot of people seem to have forgotten that other people are PEOPLE. You're not shopping for groceries, you're looking for someone to spend your life with. If you need to play games to fool them into dating you, enjoy playing games for the rest of your life.
I'd much rather be with someone I understand and who understands me. Cut through the BS. Just appreciate one another as humans.
The last date I went on, I offered to buy the other person lunch. They declined. IMHO that was a good sign. We're married now.
Ayyy same here, I never had to date and looking at what people have to go through I never want to.
The women around me are very kind and nice but because I have watched so many videos of women ruining men's life, cheating and with all the statistics about divorce, false allegations, men's unknowingly raising someone else's children I am too scared to even try to get in a relationship with anyone. I am afraid that there is more to them than I can see and what they aren't showing could be an Amber tud.
A high school teacher of mine one said "Value yourself and someone who values you the same will find you." It's been the best advice I've ever had when it comes to dating
In a world where women don't value themselves, have body counts of 30+, dating multiple people at the same time, and then expect traditional treatment from men.
Sounds like good advice but not practical or realistic.
Life isnt some fairy tale lol
@@Digger-NickIt is practical if you can afford the wait until you do find the right person.
@@DanCojocaru2000 Nobody is going to "find you" if you're putting yourself above everyone else and not dating.
No random princess is going to knock on your door one day or randomly approach you just because you deserve them...
Get real
Good luck with that in 2024. For a girl it may work, but as a man your chance is literally 0 with that mindset.
You can either have chivalry (special treatment) or equality (equal treatment), but not both. They're mutually exclusive.
Important addendum: you make your decision by your actions not by your words. If you say you want chivalry, and only go out with "bad boys" who don't give you chivalry, you're demonstrating you don't want chivalry.
(Or equality lol)
XOR is the term us nerds would use.
But you see, this is where you're wrong. They (the wahmen) don't want equality. They want equality only in the good things.
If women made logical sense - they would be men
"I feel unsafe" Right... because there has never been a creep or a s€&ual predator that will pay for your things in order to build trust before showing their true colors.
I’m so tired of people using “unsafe” as a magic word for “you have to care about and agree with what I’m saying or you’re an evil bad person who wants me to be in danger.”
Humans are so vulnerable to social engineering
I think she actually means her pocket book feels unsafe.
And the guy pays three four times for her meal, well there is a point of payback...that may be where the third date sex thing came from. You brought everything to the table (pick her up, pay for dinner etc) and now it's her turn.
@@mushyroom9569Look up the white feather in World War I. Women put white feathers in the caps of men out of uniform shame men who were not joining the military to fight in the war.
Shame from women has been a very strong method of engineering the desired behaviors from men.
Women want to feel taken care of, which is fine, but they feel entitled to those feelings on the first date for some reason. Your analogy with sex is spot on.
A recent survey in UK indicated that 40% of married couples have the women making more than the husband, so no.
hmm
is that at the point of marriage or afterwards?
Guys who expect sex on the first date are creeps, but women who go on dates solely to get free food are fine... 🤔 (not to say that a _lot_ of women do that, but they're out there.)
@@middleagebrotips3454 Many want that dyanmic to be shifted as well while wanting to make more at the same time. Can't have both
@@renakunisaki, there are a hell of a lot of women who go to bars to get free drinks and they assume that's perfectly fine.
People like this make it easy to weed them out. If they make such a big deal over something so trivial, you know what you'd be getting into.
Indeed, but then you start to realize that most are weeds
@@davidfields5375 The weedpill.
a woman using the word ick is a huge "Ick" for me
Never in my life have I tried to "impress" a woman on a date by doing things I don't normally do. I married a woman without dumb ideas about ego and every day I wake up next to the best choice I ever made. You get pretty far in relationships by just being honest.
I read this three times as "a woman with dumb ideas about ego" then concluded "different strokes for different folks I guess *shrugs*:
If you're trying too hard to impress, you're not being yourself. Once it's time to settle in and you don't need to anymore, they're only going to feel like you're not the same person anymore.
If you want something real, be yourself from the start. The person they start dating is the person they'll expect when they commit.
I learned that the hard way in my 20s.
@@stackflow343 This is exactly why so many people say "he/she/they changed! they weren't like this before" like yeah, because they weren't being honest--maybe they didn't realize it, but they weren't. So many relationships are doomed from the start because people just don't know how to be real with each other, it's nuts.
People who think like her believe their time is worth more than yours. Avoid being with people with that mindset, it'll eventually blow up in your face.
It's me+ syndrome in full force.
The same way she felt _"insulted"_ that she wasn't worth the coffee, I'd feel insulted that she felt my company was not an equal trade for hers.
For everything said about all the fucked up ass red pill influencers on this platform, you can get advice almost as shitty from actual relationship counselors. I don't understand how reinforcing this concept is a good influence on young men. You, as you are, is not enough. You have to make up for bringing less to the table with your devalued company by paying more in another area for her highly valuable company.
I say this as someone who's paid for every first date since puberty... what a sad message this sends young men.
@@rossmanngroup I fully agree with you.
I've been a licensed, working, therapist for eight years. I hate to say it, but majority of therapists out there just try to make their clients into versions of themselves.
Not to focus on that part too much, but that's what really hit home for me because if a young woman had this mindset and presented it to me, I would process with her the results of it. I wouldn't just instinctively try to red pill her or something. This counselor is just thinking for her clients instead of teaching them to think for themselves.
It's disgusting when people in power spread their venomous world views.
@@rossmanngroup Be encouraged, young men are not buying what these girls are selling. I believe this disconnect has peaked in absurdity, and the pendulum is swinging back to the norm of tradition. Many people live a traditional life, but you just don't see it televised or glamorized because the govt and junk makers won't get the extra revenue if people saw there was a better way than this rampant narcissistic consumerism. The thought occurred to me that the lady speaking in the video is of an older age cohort that may have bought into the me-me stuff, and herself thinks in this "unsafe" word salad construct (also, working in therapy, they can go loopy themselves). Some of the younger women are extreme examples of this, and appear objectively ridiculous. Recent clips from the "whatever" podcast are either a goldmine of laughs or will drive you to despair for young women, but should encourage you about young men. Thanks for talking about "me +," I hadn't heard it before and it makes perfect sense.
@@rossmanngroup is the red pill advice fucked up, or is it acknowledging a fucked up reality brought on by women like this one?
Honestly when someone acts like that and wont go on a second date because you wanted to split it kind of filters them out for you. It might actually be worth it to do that one a first date even if you plan on paying for every date after that just to lose people that think they are worth more than you.
I read this completely wrong. I thought it was something about a panini press with cloud access locking you out if you don't pay lol
Well that's one way to describe a woman.
Same! LOL!
I took someone to McDonald’s for a first date as a joke to see what would happen.
She’s now my wife 😂
Reminds me of a song (Common Man) by John Conlee.
Does anyone else recall the days when men were told to go dutch to avoid the implicit power imbalance of "I bought you dinner so..." to remove creepy expectations?
NO AND IT DIDNT HAPPEN THANKS TO MODERN SOCIAL MEDIA CENSORSHIP! ENJOY YOUR DECREASE IN SOCIAL CREDIT CITIZEN
And now there are videos of guys asking if he's going to get any, she says "no", then he says "we'll take a split check", and she acts indignant. Both sides are acting entitled. And as prices for a date keep going up, more and more men will wonder why they don't just pay for a professional over a meal for some entitled snob that gives them nothing in return.
@@remyllebeau77 Professional, or AI chat bot, or VR headset. More options every year.
Women can say and do whatever they want in a gynocentric society
@@ieaatclams 👍 It's ridiculous, but true.
From fixing cock rings to fixing relationships, thank you Louis 🙏
I never thought I'd read such a sentence.
LMAO
🤣🤣
I feel like Louis will forever be stuck with these comments 😂
Of course! After all, cock rings and relationships go cock in hand, i mean, hand in hand!
First date should always be coffee. That way it’s cheap enough to measure your potential future partners moral virtues.
100% on point. See their behavior on (very)small things then you'll know their value.
Agreed, never thought dinner dates on the first go is smart, just do cheap stuff like the movies or a coffee until you know their moral fiber enough to not get scammed into footing some bill.
Coffee has always been my go to. Low time commitment, or you can be there for hours.
If you drink, a drink in the evening is great too for similar reasons. Don't get drunk though.
If she feels "insulted" that the first date wasn't some expensive place, that is all the info you need to dodge that bullet.
@@ForgottenKnight1 eggsacly she was digging deep
the "fails to provide because he doesn't pay" argument is hilarious. I can just as well think "if this guy can't think of himself and his own well being and stability first, how's he going to take care of me?"
Interesting that they insist on gender roles that advantage them while neglecting their corresponding responsibility, isn't it?
Maybe the guy is so good with money he doesn’t spend too much on risky investments before getting the insider info.
Having once been love-bombed by someone who turned out to be an abuser, I subsequently felt less safe with the guy who insisted on paying for everything.
I don't think whether the guy pays on dates or not is an indicator of safety either way, there were probably other red flags from the abusive guy that are much more reliable.
Some of us would love to feel more provided for, it does feel safe, but it doesn’t when men yank it away at any moment so again better to have your own everything… and yes love bombing is alarming agree with tht
@@elmateo77Refusal to let the other pay is a red flag. "Only if you insist", or a formulation of that type, shouldn't constitute a red flag.
Basically if you can't even let the other makes small choices that don't impact you, you're being too controlling.
@@kuritheking Obvious feminist is obvious. Enjoy your cats after you hit the wall 👍
@@karnagefails333 I mean I’m partnered with child but if that’s how you feel take it away champ idc
A woman paying for a first date is actually a good way to detect creeps. If you pay and they start freaking out about being "EmAsCuLaTeD," then good job, you just dodged a bullet.
That has a 100% chance of costing money though. Whereas the chance of encountering a creep is not 100%.
Thats not going to detect a creep.
Its just going to make a guy like me tell you that i had a great time and then ghost you. Lol.
I still wonder if planning before a date to check on how to pay, like even plan out the budget so the bill splits is the norm. Why is paying in full to demonstrate something still the norm??
@@bookofthewarsofthelord9273 what's the reasoning behind that?
@@kizururaBecause enough women want it to be and stigmatize otherwise.
I think we're way beyond conversation at this point. The game is up and we're not playing any more.
You know I was thinking you were bit too emotional or enthusiastic with this and was thinking "hmm isn't he being little too dramatic", until you mentioned how "unsafe" can make people lose jobs, get kicked out of properties and generally make the rest of the dude's life miserable, if not completely unliveable.
And dang, as soon as I realized that, I was really taken aback by the realization that I was internally okay and had made peace with the assumption that anything I do could be seen as "unsafe", and consciously or subconsciously was putting in effort to just stay out of the way of women, and on days where I feel low, not even make eye contact with them when I have to interact with a woman. And at some point I guess I just *accepted* and believed it as a fact that my *very being* is unsafe for women, and people in general. Sometimes it makes me ashamed to be a man. Maybe I'm being a bit too dramatic here, I don't know.
The even scary realization was that being okay with this would cost me a lot of things - jobs and whatnot.
Thank you, Loius, really appreciate you putting this video out.
Also I am not sure lol I think my stuff is being randomly removed. Someone say something if you see this lol, thanks :)
You have been seen and what you say resonates.
@@aquel9367Eyy thanks mate ❤
Also, eyyy, Louis saw this hahaa, nice, The Messiah Has Seen Me! * insert meme *
Louis Is more than just a right to repair advocate, he's an icon of how to think and act like a man.
Yes
The manosphere people like Tate or Jordan Peterson are so stupid man you wanna see men you should emulate and live by example of? It's men like Louis.
Louis Rossman for president!!!
Him speaking out on all the sh... going on, especially with the corpos, he's kinda like a real life Johnny Silverhand.
I've personally gone full monk mode and it's staying that way for the foreseeable future because I'm tired of the bullshit. Enjoyment of free time, sanity and money saved has all improved 200%.
Hopefully you meet a good, like-minded woman and never have to deal with these ridiculous games ever.
Same
Yea I went full monk mode in my late 20's because of all the bullshit and it felt great. Now in my early 40's I feel so... F'ing lonely, I have no doubt it's clinical depression.
Which then makes finding someone so much more difficult, in addition to today's dating world. So difficult, like in my 20's, I don't want to particpate... I'm gonna die alone. That's frightening.
@@lgg2304 we all die alone in one way or another, as depressing as that sounds.
@@lgg2304 I feel you bro. I'm in the same boat.
I thought I'd found a good one, turns out she's a malignant narcissist who literally set me up, lied her ass off to the police and now I'm having to try to defend myself against a 3-7 year sentence. Just so that she can cash in on a lousy 18k "victim" payment, from what I can gather.
I don't want to tar them all with the same brush.
I want to hold on to hope that there's still some good women out there.
I'm sick of the loneliness. I don't know what to make of anything anymore. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to fund my legal defence. The situation I have found/put myself in is so astronomically far from just, or even something to be expected... it beggars belief. But here I stand. Laws are not written with men in mind.
I'd take loneliness over incarceration any day.
*most probably this won't even be seen.
I'm glad I live in an egalitarian paradise called Finland. Here women here take pride in equality. They sometimes make it clear before going out on a date that they'll be paying for their own meal. It's also common to take turns. "It's my treat this time and next time it's yours". This way everyone gets to both be generous and feel special.
Same thing in Sweden. But, then again, the USA is often behind the times with things like this. They pretend that they're not, but sometimes (like with dating) they really, really are. Not all Americans and all that, but as a culture...
yeah, but you have to date Swedish and Finnish women, the former esp is hardly worth it.
@@vegbeg9170What's wrong with Swedish women?
@@iridium137 The stereotype is emotionally cold and distant, which I have seen born out in my personal experience.
We all know this channel makes you think, but today we straight up got free therapy, thank you Louis.
If I heard her say 'unsafe', I would be done.
If you hear her say "unsafe" you go to the manager and ask for a copy of the security tapes so you can disprove whatever else she says about you.
If I heard that, my autistic self would stand up and walk the fuck out. Don't say shit to someone so self centered.
It's always the unattractive ones who feel unsafe. 😂
@@renakunisaki Exactly, I'd feel utterly unsafe hearing the word. Also, she must've accepted the interview, so implying to every man they're "unsafe" if they don't pay every woman... *shudder*
This woman is a therapist? I think she's going to help her clients stay miserable and single.
I find it wild that she's self-aware and intelligent enough to recognize that if she thought through her expectations she'd find them irrational, but hasn't actually done so, especially as a practicing therapist. That interview should have been about how she USED to think and feel that way.
There are tons of therapists out there, and the vast majority of them are not worth their salt.
@@wolfdragonhorse Her entire point is *literally* that these are the sorts of reactive thoughts we all have and then have to challenge. Exactly what you would want out of her.
I pay for myself, and she pays for herself. I don't want someone who can't take care of themselves and their responsibilities in life, and expecting me to pay *your* bill gives a lot of bad signals (you might not financially stable, you can't handle responsibilities, you're not independent, you might be manipulative and abusive). If I decide to pay the bill, it's a kind and generous gesture on my part (or her part), not because it's somehow expected of me.
This is like the 3rd video I've seen that is roasting this woman in the interview. And it's all deserved.
Now I'm curious about the other two videos
Please share the other two lol
I don't think we should be roasting her though, she's just saying what (probably) most women are secretly thinking. We should be praising her for giving us this rare and valuable insight. Like yeah she's coming out and admitting that she's a piece of shit, but everyone is a piece of shit. Thanks to honest pieces of shit like her, the rest of us know what to brace ourselves for.
Share!
Yeah I want to see the other two videos.
Damn Louis, I feel bad you have those self doubts. I hope you understand that there a lot of us out here IRL that think you are one of the best human beings on the planet. Keep up the excellent work.
Such is life. Can't have everything.
I never imagined a dystopian future surrounded by Disney Princesses.
Why does it feel like so few people in the dating world have a moral compass at all ?
Because most people would rather conform to norms and not stick out, not make any trouble, probably fearing the retaliation
@@DanishValkyrie then why did we make the norms so that it's not morally oriented at all...
Seems like we need to update that pronto.
It's good that people like Louis Rantmann with a platform are in this world to fight such bullshit
Louis Rantasaurus Mann
Rantssmann?
dont you have some feet pics to post on your onlyfans?
Maybr he should engage you and your pfp too
@@edenrabian1337 boo hooo is the little baby killing zionest mad
This Rossmann rant definitively proves that variety is the spice of life! Starting with the podcast is like a skilled chef showing up with takeout…it’s not what you came for, it’s not what you wanted, but you don’t want to be rude. You roll with it. But then the Rossman meat comes down the line, hot and heavy. Overflowing with flavor. Stuffed with nutrients. A true palate cleanser.
And then the real hit… 10:10 …aw yeah, give us that GOOD shit, chef.
I love louis rants, they sound exactly like myself having imaginwry arguments. I appreciate these videos in a way you couldn't understand
You're definitely spot on with our company not being enough. Even though I grew up in a more than healthy household, for some reason that thought also sits in my soul. Ironically, I would probably pay for a (reasonable) date if she didn't expect it, but if she came with an attitude like the lady in the video, I probably would not. One thing I think a lot of men have issues with these days is the expectation that men uphold traditional gender roles while there is no expectation of women to do so.
100% true. One thing that we hear every single day is that we are not going back to the 1950s. You'll hear the 1950s discussed as this horrible era. And we can probably agree on some of it. But if that's the case, why does my wallet have to behave as if it was 1950?
@@rossmanngroup Yea. A lot of people really like demonising the past, but if I look at my parents and grandparents, they all had marriages that were happy, fulfilled and lasted until someone died (of natural causes). And they didn't just stay together because they had to. How come in this brave new world that is so awesome, people (in this case men and women) are more divided than ever and divorce is at an all time high?
Genuine question, on a first date what would you expect of the woman to signal she stands by traditional gender roles?
I ask because it seems to me that a lot of what our culture has become kind of mandates that women give up how traditional women used to be. From wardrobe to what we're expected to do in society (eg women are expected to work like men now instead of being homemakers). Obviously later in a relationship it's a lot easier to make that traditionality more clear, but on a first date where you know nothing about each other I don't know what you would expect.
@@Snow-Willow Be nice. Don't be on your phone. Be on time. Don't say "yes" to the date if you already know you aren't interested but free food sounds good ... I think that's it. That's what I consider basic respect. Like, don't be 30 minutes late on purpose to play some weird head games. My time is as valuable as yours.
@@Snow-Willowlittle things, if she makes it a point to mention that she disdains dating applications is a big one for me because that tells me that if I pay for your dinner I'm not paying for a woman that's going on five other dates this week with five other men. Little things in demeanor. I wish I could better explain it.
This channel being variety is just one of the many reason why I love it! I also love the mini series you've done over the years and hope we do get another in the future!
when I get my next NYS fine 😅
@@rossmanngroup I think they are busy with their new lover the former president right now, you might have to wait for your turn.
@@rossmanngroup I just did my taxes. You can rest assured that NYS is as garbage as it ever will be. My word.
What I love most about this channel is that Louis has good working common sense. You might think you're crazy when looking at the world around you. You reason things with good vs. bad. A lot of other people reason with profit, ego, status or other self-centered beliefs.
Just imagine the rage if we men expected to have our panini paid
I'm at that point in my life where if someone gets upset by some irrational gesture thing then good, they've filtered themselves out, I don't want to be with someone like that anyways. They're wrong but I can't waste my time trying to convince someone this broken. Nor would I want to. If they think this about one thing, they probably think wild shit about other things.
Exactly
That's about how I feel. I see asking about splitting the bill as a litmus test. If the date feel entitled to me paying then they have filtered themselves out.
Cultural indoctrination is a thing, some women may be able to change their views.
@@moartems5076
I agree, but they're gonna have to want to change. Not every woman wants to abandon patriarchal expectations.
I had to stop the video 3 minutes in when she brought up safety.
Hold the phone, this one has me fuming.
Okay, I'm a woman. I'm married these days, but back in my dating days, it was always the men that insisted on paying for everything that scared me. The guys that would *reject* my offer to pay now and then, or at least split the bill.
Because every single time, those men turned out to be unhinged lunatics who wanted to own me like a pet, and intended to have me indebted to them in ways that money does not buy.
Being a woman seen as nothing more than property that's been bought is a terrifying prospect. Money and things don't earn my attention. I grew up poor, I'm caliced and adaptable. It might work on bougie women, but I don't associate with that, because becoming dependent or indebted to the wrong person is TERRIFYING.
You're dead on. Exactly what you described happened with my parents: my dad insisted my mom quit her job (she was making more than him) because it threatened his ego not to have control. She didn't realize her mistake until much later.
I might be misunderstanding Okay so what you're saying is it is better that people split the check because no one will feel like they have to reciprocate anything correct. For myself I'm not old but I was raised to be a gentleman so for me if I'm going out with someone if I invited you I'm paying if you want to split okay sure I don't mind but I'm never going to ask to split a check no one owes me anything it's just the way I was raised. So is it that that behavior will make me seem predatory Am I getting that correct cuz like I said if the other individual wants to offer to pay half I have no problem with that I'm not so much stubborn that I'm set in my ways you have to change everything changes we move with time.
I specifically waited to attempt to date until I left the overwhelmingly Italian/Irish middle-class area I grew up in because of all the retrograde stereotypes, but even still I always pay (I sometimes even pay for the table with groups of friends). If a date asks to split, I'm actually *more* interested because it signals to me she's also not hung up on retrograde stereotypes and is looking for a partner, not a replacement for her dad.
@@hre713 I think that a man insisting initially is nice. It's the assertion that he must be the one who pays 100% on every date without room for discussion or at least having some way to balance it.
"I pay this time, you pay next time" if she insists on helping makes complete sense.
I've been on dates where the guy couldn't pay. But each time, he brought it up *before* getting anything (these guys assumed they were not going to order). And I insisted on it. It's just a little pick-me-up gesture to show that it's perfectly okay. Never thought less of a person for this. Sometimes we forget our wallets or fall on hard times.
Now if he orders and *then* reveals she has to pay for him, that's a grimeball she's got on her hands.
Women should not do this either, and it shouldn't just be socially okay. Worked with women who did this to their dates... I don't make friends with the type.
Just my thoughts.
@@hre713 Took me a couple reads of both the OP's post and your response, but I think you and I might have a different take on this than the OP. Honestly, think both sides are pointing out red flags that should end any chance of a relationship. Okay, end of the date and I offer to pay. She says she wants to pay half. I decline, saying I have it. At that point, the OP is saying that my refusal to let my date pay half is a red flag that I'm somehow controlling. Pretty sure you and I both disagree with that sentiment. However, if her next response is, "No, I want to pay my half," that is a red flag for me that SHE isn't someone to date! Now she is the one that is controlling, demanding I fit her mold of what a date should be. (I was raised same as you so someone who is gung ho adamant about splitting is telling me they were raised differently and chances are, we aren't compatible as a match so better to go looking for someone else.) From the sounds of it, I doubt I would have wanted to spend more time with someone with the OP's views just as I don't think it would be worth the hassle when there are other women available who, if not share my views, are at least more tolerant of them and how I was raised.
By the way, when I dated, I usually would reply, "I'll get dinner if you'll get the tickets for the movie!" That way, we didn't "split" the bill, but both of us paid for part of the night's activities. It also helped gain a sense on whether the date was always going to expect me to pay. (I'll gladly pay for a formal first date; after that, if this is to be a relationship, we're sharing in the costs as well!)
Louis Rossman for president!!
There are few good role models to look up to these days. I’m glad you exist. every one of your videos leaves me saying “that is a good man right there.” We need more people like you as leaders in our country! Unfortunately, honesty and a strong sense of ethics doesn’t seem to get you very far in the political world.
Anyway, I have so much respect for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this platform.
That was really f-ed up for her to use the word "unsafe" to describe the man not paying on the first date. Crazy.
There's also so many behaviors that are legitimately unsafe that should be called out. Not paying for a date should not be lumped in with that.
I still watch your 'keep a full plate' video at least once a year. Thanks for the 13 year variety show!
Thank you for the kind comment. I'm really happy you got value out of that.
"what are you in for?" i didn't pay the dinner bill for my date
Bro is officially hazardous in nebulous ways!
You made me laugh hard with that one bro...😂
i just love the way you say certain things, and the angles you come from. spot on observations- no notes! you are a very good man :)
Sometimes when I feel especially misunderstood, I come to see Louis' videos and realise there's still hope out there.
Hang on a moment, a female date getting upset over a bloke not paying for the whole thing.... The inference of their behaviour suggests they won't put out if you don't pay the bill. That's a little bit too close to prostitution for my liking and I would happily never see her again for getting stroppy over splitting the bill.
Well, there is another option: They won't put out either way and just want a free meal. Which is worse?
At least the prostitute will give you something back.
Ahhhh, just in time for my blood pressure meds!
I love to keep reading comments until one completely throws me off and has me laughing out loud, thanks! 🤣
Insert the arm wrestling meme, one side is your blood pressure meds, the other side is the video of this vapid woman
ever considered coaching? you have a very convincing manner. a dangerous one in fact. I feel like you have the power to convince me into something I usually wouldn't do, and I don't think I'm easy to manipulate most of the time. what sorcery is this?
great video, great points. thank you
...I'd have to put my own life in order before I can advise others. And that's a long way off. This channel’s always been my creative outlet. Take it for what it is, the rants of a crazy man, nothing more, nothing less!
@@rossmanngroup "crazy man"?
you are more or less sane, man.
But in crazy world, sane person looks crazy it seems.
@@krucafukszajete you want a list of examples dont you xD
@@rossmanngroupfake it till you make it lol
@@krucafukszajeteVery much this!
I feel that today that "safety" has nothing to do with safety anymore.
Just like the word racism doesnt have anything to do with race anymore
Flip side - the person insisting on paying for everything may be doing it for control and to create the impression that they owe them. This is regardless of gender.
No matter what, anything can be potentially unsafe.
In any case - who pays first or who doesn't - it's all based on culture and upbringing and whatever floats their boat.
"No matter what, anything can be potentially unsafe."
A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.
I'd rather not take that attitude, and I hope whoever I romance doesn't either. Because if they do then human relationships are impossible.
@@CertifiedDoc despite past trauma or bad experiences, there's still a chance it can be overcome, even though that journey might be different for everyone.
10:09 at this point louis's channel is officially my favorite channel, from fighting with eulas, protecting repair rights without a paper to read the text from, encouraging others over failures and just truly being there for your subscribers...
We love u Louis. ❤
I value equality. If a woman I'd go on a date with was so keen to uphold traditional gender roles as to find it weird for us to split the bill, I'd find that a massive red flag. If someone doesn't want a second date just because of me wanting to split the bill, the bullet has made me dodge itself. If you value me for my money, I no longer am in a social relationship with you, I'm in a financial one. In other words I become a "customer". The only real silver lining in this is that it's very easy to get rid of these people if you just recognize what they're doing.
TLDR: I am more than my wallet.
I’m saving this video on a playlist of its own! This is beyond beautifully said.
Louis quoted Bill Burr. I have seen everything now.
Wait till Bill Burr starts to quote Louis Rossmann!
Billy fat again is too scared of his wife to do that.
I agree one hundred percent with you here, the word "unsafe" has no rational basis here. Offering or suggesting to split a bill is pure practicality and a completely neutral thing. The economy is in shambles right now and chivalry is EXPENSIVE. Hell, dating in general is expensive, and that's *with* splitting bills. Even asking someone else to foot a bill, in any context up to and including a first date- in a heterosexual relationship or otherwise- is at worst an awkward or embarrassing position to be in and at best a total non-issue. Bringing safety into the equation here is such a manipulative and shitty thing to do for what even the most high-maintenance of partners would call a social faux-pas- NOT a red flag for someone being a creep.
The bar for people to not be labeled as a creep, or dangerous, or unsafe *cannot* be set so high that something as innocuous as choosing whether or not they foot a bill would trip them up. Men, I promise you, you will never need to pay your way into a healthy relationship. The most important thing you're bringing to the table is yourself, NOT your wallet.
Something about this comment untied the knot that clip put in my stomach.
Sometimes it's really hard not to think women genuinely don't even think of us a human beings on the same level as them.
Which would be less confusing if i didnt hear women saying they felt the same from men my entire life.
Its like they *know* what its like, and dig their heels in anyway.
Facts 💯
She is not suffering financially, nor would anyone she is dating.
I find her insufferably out of touch, especially considering she is a purported "expert" on relationships who is not married, nor has ever been married and is a single mother.
It's like getting advice on how best to clear the jump from the cliff to the water, from the paraplegic who missed the jump two weeks ago.
That’s not entirely true though is it? Not if you are looking for a woman to be a great mother and take care of your children and your household. Then just being you really isn’t going to be enough. She is going to need to be quite sure that you can take care of things financially.
@@nicwelchYou make a fair point, which is that depending on the type of partner your looking for and the life goals/ roles you intend to have, then finances absolutely can be a make-or-break deal. But even then, a financially stable partner isn't automatically a good or healthy or "safe" person just due to that one trait. The *most* important factor will always be how well you mesh as two individual people, which sets the foundation of the entire rest of the relationship.
Basically, yes money can be a big factor for long term relationships. But disagreements over who is paying on a first date are just signs you might not have compatible views on things- such as what ways you'd expect a partner to support a joint household. Which is fine! That's the whole point of dating, getting to know people to try and see if you'd make compatible partners.
What the name on a dinner bill DOESN'T show is that a man is "unsafe" or a creep, which is a point that I do think still stands (not that I think you were saying as much, I'm just still mind-boggled at that being a concept in the first place)
Very well said. Unsafe is so much the wrong word. I would never pay for everything just for a date with someone. Glad to pay for family and friends, and people I know and love, but not for a stranger whom I might or might not see again. Men should put the foot down and stop this ludicrous entitlement.
100% agree! Thank you for doing what you do. It’s refreshing.
Most men nowadays are apathetic towards dating because of how social media has warped people's perceptions if reality. They dont want to invest into someone who'll drop them on a dime, and splitting the check is usually the go to.
I was watching this older movie the other day and they pretty good points like taking a woman out to eat on the first date is a bad idea because you don't know if you are going to be invested or interested in that person beyond the first date so its better to take them out for like a quick drink instead to get to know them and then once you feel like your comfortable enough you can ask for a second date to go out to eat with the third and forth dates to get more intimate with each other if it ends up getting that far.
@@Dragonk116 Still sounds like terrible advice bro. Boomersims don't work for the world of today. Here is the real question. Where do you even meet new people? Everything has been abstracted to social media that its impossible to talk to anyone in the real world. They just have earbuds in and they scroll scroll scroll on instaslut.
Most of the people I’ve known who later turn out to be psycho/stalker types went WAYYYY over the top to impress women with lavish gifts, picking up tabs, etc …at the beginning of the relationship.)
That is much more of a red flag for safety issues, IMO.
Dating in '24 is like opening a present. You don't know what you're going to get. I'm fine with paying for a night out, date or just with friends. I have no expectation that the other party is going to put a dime toward it, but it's nice to be surprised every now and then when you fight them at the register. To me, that builds trust and acknowledgement that there is a good chance that they will do for you in the future. This whole "not feeling safe if the guy doesn't pay", I'd love to hear them talk about feeling safe when the guy buys one too many and you wake up not knowing what happened the night before.
Stuff like this just makes me appreciate my wife of 15 years even more.
I never want to end up dating again if I can help it.
lol, she was having so much fun until the bill came 😂 don’t we all
It is unsafe for my wallet to pay for meals on random strangers. That's dating to me... wastefully spending money on strangers. I don't date at all anymore.
You should be happy and honored to be in their presence! They have granted you an audience and you must pay tribute!
(In mocking voice)
"it's hard to articulate"
But I just like moneeeey... 😂
The greatest gift a girl ever gave me on a first date was insisting she cover half the bill before she ghosted me and blocked my number.
That's integrity I've never before seen from a girl.
When she blocked me on face book etc etc I had this warm fuzzy feeling. The only thought going through my mind wasn't the pain of rejection or the mysogonistic hatred it was "That was super classy of you to pay your half".
If sshe had called me back a week later I would have had no hard feelings I would even done a second date.
That's what society needs.
If they have zero intention of a second date they should insist on paying half.
"Ya know what steve.... Let me venue you $20 for the movie ticket and popcorn to"
Seriously... that's equality.
It'ss also the best time and place to less than subtly say there won't be a second date, and it makes the man feel way less exploited.
I agree with Louis’ takes on a lot of things. I declare Louis Rossmann as my spirit animal.
Based Louis. It irritates me as well. Everything is equal until the paycheck comes. How bout stepping up and bringing something to the table. You setup the date. You pay for it. What makes this thing even worse, is there are women out there who take advantage of it. They know they want nothing to do with you, and will still go out with you, string you along, waste your time, lie, and take your money. It's a BS double standard that doesn't make sense anymore.
Yep and a lot of men have now caught on to that BS game women keep playing around and so they are learning that "yeah no I'm not wasting my time with this" but what have women learned? Doubling down on this stuff essentially learning nothing from their own actions.
"You setup the date. You pay for it."
That literally still means men pay for it. Stop with the subversive phrasing. When has a woman ever set up a first date? Now extrapolate that again against the other 4 billion women. Can you even count on one hand how many women did that?
Absolutely nailed this one. Perfectly said. Id love to hear more of these
One of the best first dates I've ever had was with a woman who decided to pay for it. I paid her back with interest by going on a second date with her at a nicer place and paying for it. We had a great time with each other, but the relationship didn't work out. I still think of it and her fondly, because I felt flattered and repected, which is very rare for a man.
My wife and I split all costs on our first date. Been together for 7 years now. The fact that neither of us felt pressured at all on the first date was relaxing.
Don't worry, men don't fall for shaming language anymore 😤
The days of the white feather in the cap are long gone. Look up the white feather in World War I. Women put white feathers in the caps of men out of uniform to shame men who were not joining the military, so they'd fight in the war. Men signed up to get shot at & die in war to avoid being shamed by young, attractive women.
It's a real thing - and it's why I was so offended at it here. Men are sensitive to this, to an irrational degree, that we will literally agree to fight & die for some faraway fkface king to avoid being shamed by young single women.
Using shaming language on men _(as in, it isn't my vanity/ego that is the problem - rather, _*_you_*_ make us feel _*_unsafe_*_ )_ has been an exceptionally effective method of engineering male behavior for a very long time. I don't blame people who use it without knowledge or understanding, but I expect more from a relationship counselor/psychologist - these types of people have the self knowledge and information to know better. A college student doing this, even a 27 year old doing this, fine. She's way older, more educated, and above all: *SPECIALIZED* in this field. She knows better.
I don't think people in 2024 realize why they're doing it consciously while they're doing it. It's not some conscious evil conspiracy. I don't believe it's that sinister. It's just something that worked for a very long time that kind of got culturally ingrained. If something made your ego or vanity feel hurt, you can use the tools available to you to get men to act differently, or you can work on yourself so your ego/vanity doesn't disregulate your emotions. The former is the path of least resistance.
So she adjusts her word choice to make it about someone else, rather than herself. I am expected to keep my ego and vanity in check, and I am expected to regulate my emotions & expectations. I don't see what is wrong with asking the same for someone I am vetting as a life partner & mother of my children.
@@rossmanngroup I remember the white feather in the cap, but it was a different era. Conspiracy or not, most men now know to not pay for first dates or even coffee because too many women have taken advantage of this just to get free meals.
Well, that too. journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1948550619856308
@@rossmanngroup Private Norman Demuth, who had been discharged from the British Army after he had been wounded in 1916, received numerous white feathers after he returned from the Western Front. In Forgotten Voices of the Great War, Demuth is quoted as saying:
_"Almost the last feather I received was on a bus. I was sitting near the door when I became aware of two women on the other side talking at me, and I thought to myself, 'Oh Lord, here we go again'. One lent forward and produced a feather and said, 'Here's a gift for a brave soldier.' I took it and said, 'Thank you very much-I wanted one of those.' Then I took my pipe out of my pocket and put this feather down the stem and worked it in a way I've never worked a pipe cleaner before. When it was filthy I pulled it out and said, 'You know, we didn't get these in the trenches', and handed it back to her. She instinctively put out her hand and took it, so there she was sitting with this filthy pipe cleaner in her hand and all the other people on the bus began to get indignant. Then she dropped it and got up to get out, but we were nowhere near a stopping place and the bus went on quite a long way while she got well and truly barracked by the rest of the people on the bus. I sat back and laughed like mad._
@@rossmanngroupin my 2013 car i got the infotainment system disabled for music and I play it another way instead
Fun fact .. 9$ for a panini is not even close to enough for some women.
50-100 for most of the women I've dated in the last 5 years or so..
I've seen some women straight up say that they won't take a man seriously until he spends $2,000 on them in dates.
Fun fact 2: a woman was able to go a year without buying groceries because of the number of dates she went on that bought her food
Wow the simps have taken over
I've always paid for everything, and now I've just given up. The emotional not to mention financial toll of rejection, was eating me alive.
This has got to be the best out of context title for a video I've ever seen
"Take the panini. Leave the pun."
"Go to the mattresses!"
@@anotheruser9876 I am of the firm opinion that we are _owed_ one last great Coppola film in the Godfather franchise. It would be named 'The Godmother' and then 'Carmela Corleone' appears under. Coppola only people please?
Punini
Makes you wonder what the purpose of the date was. To get to know the person? Or a free panini?
Saying "i had a fantastic time on the date but no next date because he didn't pay" just shows it wasn't about the fantastic time at all 😂
Right? I see asking to split the bill or at least asking how should WE go about covering the bill as a litmus test. If she tries to shame me into paying for it that is a good sign to never speak to this person again. Instead if I get a positive response by offering to split the bill then that is a good sign that this is someone worth asking for some more dates.
It was all about the free panini - because that's how women are.
@@nolongeramused8135I encourage you to avoid absolutes especially within the context of disparaging an entire gender.
@@nicwelchI encourage you to embrace reality.
@@nolongeramused8135I encourage you to wait until you've dated more than 5 women in your life to make these judgments, like yeah this world is full of assholes but god damn dude no situation is that hopeless unless you are
The Bill Burr clip was perfect. Pretty much exactly what I was going to say 😂
I have to say, you are one of the realest people I've ever heard speak on anything. Thanks for all you do.
I'm over 40 married with kids and own a house. I'm still not in a great place financially but still better than most. I used my wit and had lots of luck to be where I am today. I have two sons and I don't see them reaching where I am ever due to the state of our social reality in the United States. Not a religious dude but I still pray for this next generations young men.
Imagine the girl brings Rossmann to Right to Repair on the first day.
That clip was extraordinary. It's never occurred to me in 50 years of life that sensible people think that way 'He doesn't like me because he didn't pay for my coffee, (and I'm never going to see him again because of that)'. I've always paid for my share of food everywhere. Other people can pay for theirs. Why on earth would that be a problem? And most of the people I hang out with do the same. It's generally the bon viveur types who buy a lot of extras and wine that prefer to split bills evenly :-) It is true that I've never been on a 'date' in a restaurant so never had to deal with this issue directly. But apparently I would not have done very well at it if these people are at all representative, although I like to think I'd only be going out with sane people! I have bought my wife dinner from time to time, but also vice-versa. We gave up doing separate finances after a few years.
I like how you keep bringing up the automotive industry ad 😂
Something within me launched off like a fucking rocket when I heard her say that she wouldn't feel "safe" if her bill wasn't paid. Safe? SAFE?! _Not_ the word choice here.
I'm glad that didn't just fuck me up.
This is one of those particular occasions when I'm moved to say: Thank god I'm gay!
Who pays in that case? 🤔
I'm starting to think this is definately the way forward...😂
@@krystal5887Basically! It's split
You are not immune to toxic behaviors. Gays also have to deal with people trying to get them drunk to take advantage of them. You can still end up a one night stand when expecting more. If anything, being gay simply because of bad experiences with the opposite sex is a vulnerability that can be exploited. You’re already more likely to trust the same sex as a result.
Humans are capable of evil, on any side of the sexual spectrum.
Louis droppin' truth bombs like it's WW3 😂
Love how you bring that ad up as an analogy 😂
Any woman who is self-centered enough to expect me to pay for the first date isn't worth a second. Any woman who doesn't offer to pay for her share is either broke, or a mooch. If she's broke, sure, I don't mind helping out a bit, and I've done so before. The problem is, most of the time, I feel like they're mooching off of men. Equality means you pay for your meal and I pay for my own meal. If we aren't entering into a potential relationship equally, well, that's just not a good relationship.
When the woman/girl doesn't pay for my panini on the first date, I feel unsafe.
Louis, we men are viewed in the frame of being good host organisms. This is the quiet part that women don't want to say out loud. I came to the conclusion that dating and relationships were permanently damage a decade ago or more. I was also troubled by what she said, but you put it so much better than i. Thank you.
Thank you!
p.s. this is thee most holism channel around with honest and valuable advice and guidance. Great job all around!
Jesus I am going to be alone forever at this rate holy moly what the hell are these expectations. I dont understand people, much less women in an intimate sense/environment.
It gets easier the older you get. At some point in your life will just stop giving a fuck. You're not missing much anyways. Find a good hobby. Find some like minded friends.
Do what you do because you want to do it, or will help you do what you want to do. Do not put a mask to please someone else.
You got one life. Live it.
I don't think women even understand what they do half the time, because they don't learn from their mistakes like men do.
Men are learning that this is a loseing game so the only way for a man to win is to not play the game.
Women however have avoided complete lack of accountability for pretty much everything in their entire lives so they have learned absolutely nothing from their own actions.
Get your passport. Its much easier in countries like the Phillipines. As long as you make a decent income and your a good man