@@robertvincent2725oh lord 😂. The one that absolutely stopped me dead in my tracks though was “if you’ve ever used a toilet brush as a BACK SCRATCHER!” Blech!! The crowd was a combination of laughter and “oh no, eww!!”
"If you ever stared at a carton of orange juice because it said 'concentrate'" - That, right there, was the one that almost landed me and my then girlfriend in hospital. We were howling with laughter, out of breath but unable to stop!
Thanks you my good fan I really appreciate your comment about me if you don't mind you can text me on hangout email below jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
If you've ever sat on the toilet for so long your legs fell asleep...man, now THAT'S funny! Imagine that happening. You get up, and wobble around on your own legs like a newborn giraffe on The Discovery Channel.
While I was having gall bladder trouble (before it finally got yanked out), my digestion was so messed up that this actually happened to me more than once.
Oh my gosh I actually heard a few for the first time! "If someone tells you there's something stuck in your teeth and you pull them out to see what it is..." heck you might just be getting old!
Thanks you my good fan I really appreciate your comment about me if you don't mind you can text me on hangout email below jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
A six pack to a funeral??. Heck, I seen live band music, beer and hard licor while putting down the hole a fella. Yep, Mexican country funerals are something else. Like a three days non stop party.
As someone that's been living in Florida for 20 years, it definitely applies. I've got friends that got that mix of redneck and hillbilly but they're great people.
If you wear a tube top to a funeral I was watching him on TV one time, and he used that one. I don't know why it isn't on any of his albums. I think one of them should involve spending your honeymoon either at a NASCAR race, or spending your honeymoon watching NASCAR.
And the broken one is one of those old lovely console TVs in the wooden cabinet. My grandparents had one my entire childhood and I guess it went to shit sometime in the '90s or '00s. First they put a CRT television on top of it and then at some point in the '00s one of my aunts got them a flatscreen so that went up there instead. The console TV cabinet doubles very well as a TV stand because it is nice and solid and heavy and NOTHING is gonna shake that sucka.
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I stopped watching TV over a year ago. Gave away the good one - one of those old, big things. The second one was broken, and is still standing in my kitchen.
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Had my first jury duty service today. It's not like 12 angry men it's like 3:52 . Any young kids make a note of that. Don't be arrogant but don't think it's special either.
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Thanks you my good fan I really appreciate your comment about me if you don't mind you can text me on hangout email below jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My all time favorite- “if you think the last four words of the Star Spangled Banner are “gentlemen start your engines!”
If your son's name is "Dale Jr" and your first name isn't Dale.....you might be a redneck.
@@robertvincent2725oh lord 😂. The one that absolutely stopped me dead in my tracks though was “if you’ve ever used a toilet brush as a BACK SCRATCHER!” Blech!! The crowd was a combination of laughter and “oh no, eww!!”
If you think the last four words of the National Anthem are "Gentlemen, Start Your Engines"....
No, they’re “Play ball!”
Funniest thing I've read all day😂😂😂
As a nascar fan very true
That's funny 🤣🤣
You might be a redneck
"If you ever stared at a carton of orange juice because it said 'concentrate'" - That, right there, was the one that almost landed me and my then girlfriend in hospital. We were howling with laughter, out of breath but unable to stop!
Guy is so funny he makes me cry !!
I get the joke but I've never understood what's redneck about that. It seems more like a dumb blonde joke.
If you missed your grade school graduation ceremony because of jury duty. A classic!
If you have ever gotten a BIRTHDAY CARD from a pawn shop !!!
This has actually happened to me !!!!
OMFG LMAO
Really?! That's insane!
I miss Mr. Foxworthy. One of the best stand up comedians.
Lou he’s still with us Lou
@@GoDawgs18 What happened?
If your house has wheels on it but your car doesn't
Hello
He needs a Christmas version of this
"If your family tree does not fork...."
"If you go to the family reunion to meet women..."
"If you poop in a public urinal..."
@@WardyLion Why else would you go to a family reunion?
"If you ever missed 5th grade graduation because YOOOUUU had jury duty"
If your wife says she's game....and you shoot her...
OMG.....dying over here.😂😂😂
If you shop for your wife's anniversary present at Tractor Supply, you might......
Foxwodthy…a national treasure 😂
The Chinese accent shoes thing always makes me laugh!!! Lol
if you have ever shot a deer out a kitchen window and ate it for supper you might be me
People don't realize this is more common than they think.
The Top Water King jesus christ
Always keep yer rifle by the sink.
At my cousins place he’s got a house on a hill and across the road he’s got a big field and at night 10-20 deer come and feed (perfect for hunting)
If you've ever shot a deer out of a school bus you might be me
Bill engval laugh makes it so much funnier 🤣😂
Love the one about the ironing board as a buffet table!! :) that had me laughing!!
JenG593 My Aunt did that when I was a kid.
In my church we use the pool table...yupp
@@Thellbro You have a pool table at your church?? I'm guessing you weren't Southern Baptist! LOL
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The one about the daughter's Barbie dream house is a good one as well
The sit on a toilet one is me, fell asleep on one too
Trust me I have sat down on a toilet seat and my feet fell asleep felt a bit tingly for a few minutes but it went LMBO 😆😆😆
I love these guys❤
Cool whip bowls yep me, my grandma here in Minnesota iron table,hitting a deer 🦌,can of orange juice, ALL ME 👆🏻
If you use all of your carports to store firewood under but park none of your cars....
If you've ever sat on the toilet for so long your legs fell asleep...man, now THAT'S funny! Imagine that happening. You get up, and wobble around on your own legs like a newborn giraffe on The Discovery Channel.
That happens to me sometimes. lol
I raised my hand and pointed to myself on that one
While I was having gall bladder trouble (before it finally got yanked out), my digestion was so messed up that this actually happened to me more than once.
This is happening to me as we speak as I’m watching this video on the toilet 😂
@@JWD26 Oh, boy!
Guy is so funny he makes me cry !!
Glad I found this. Needed it.. Thanky yous
They are each other's best audience.
Jeff Foxworthy And Bill Engvall need to do a long show just the two of them...
This is so classic! Gotta love it!!
6-pack hell, ever been to a wake in Chicago! Irish, Polish. German. We as a family celebrate their lives
If your idea of retiring is putting new Goodyears on your F-150...
Love Blue Collar guys!
this comedy guy is the best.
Oh my gosh I actually heard a few for the first time!
"If someone tells you there's something stuck in your teeth and you pull them out to see what it is..."
heck you might just be getting old!
Great great stuff right here funny stuff
I was pissed when I found of that wasn't Larry the Cable Guy's real voice. Still funny as hell with Jeff and Bill.
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I have that same set of salad dishes!!!
thanks for making my day better
the cool whip bowls are so me lol
Stormrunner25 my family too
+Stormrunner25 Don't feel bad. I always use those big butter bowls. lol
+defiantone hey use want you got nothing wrong with that
+StormrunnerKC Environmentalism ;)
can relate
If you live in a house that's mobile and have 4 cars that aren't....
My Favorite and this is for my father who passed way a few years ago . Hitting a deer 65 miles an hour is fast food.
And you just had scratches on the bumper.
And your 🚛 doesn't have a dent.
I remember that old Fox Worthy joke, just had a good laugh.
In other words, "Real Men Of Genius"
If your ideal trophy wife is mounted on the wall.
Lying through your tooth, lol!
Brian Pearis that’s me
If you have to adjust the way you park depending on the length of your hitch
You h?have to climb into your truck using your mirrors.
If you walk through the front door of your house and are standing in the back yard you might............
Yoooooooooou might be misguided. 🤭
A six pack to a funeral??. Heck, I seen live band music, beer and hard licor while putting down the hole a fella. Yep, Mexican country funerals are something else. Like a three days non stop party.
Haven't they heard of an Irish wake?
If your father-in-law has a shotgun with him during your wedding.
If you've ever been to drunk to fish.
They're all here in Florida alright!!!
As someone that's been living in Florida for 20 years, it definitely applies. I've got friends that got that mix of redneck and hillbilly but they're great people.
If you have a billy singing bass in more than one room of,your house
Guilty
Jeff is guilty of that one 🤣
If you wear a tube top to a funeral
I was watching him on TV one time, and he used that one. I don't know why it isn't on any of his albums.
I think one of them should involve spending your honeymoon either at a NASCAR race, or spending your honeymoon watching NASCAR.
If you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner
The very first one... applies to one of my aunts. 🤣
Walker Texas Ranger changed your life.
🥀🖤🥀I love these Guy's🥀🖤🥀☝️
If the directions include turn off the paved road
That one (in a way) applies to my family.
My family has a cottage that's like that. (It's not our actual home.)
Was like that at my place. And I'm mad as hell for the town Council having it paved last year.
As a former DoorDash driver, I've had to do THAT plenty of times
Great stuff
If u drink beer so u can get the money for the cans
Oh lord!
If you've ever bought a t-shirt from a truck stop.... 😀
this is fricken funny
If you have a working T.V on top of a broken one, you might be one of my family members...
And the broken one is one of those old lovely console TVs in the wooden cabinet. My grandparents had one my entire childhood and I guess it went to shit sometime in the '90s or '00s. First they put a CRT television on top of it and then at some point in the '00s one of my aunts got them a flatscreen so that went up there instead.
The console TV cabinet doubles very well as a TV stand because it is nice and solid and heavy and NOTHING is gonna shake that sucka.
Thanks you my good fan I really appreciate your comment about me if you don't mind you can text me on hangout email below jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@urthboundmisfit Thanks you my good fan I really appreciate your comment about me if you don't mind you can text me on hangout email below jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I stopped watching TV over a year ago. Gave away the good one - one of those old, big things. The second one was broken, and is still standing in my kitchen.
If your relative got run over because they saw a truck that had dodge written on it.
“If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain…”
Yep.
"YOU TAKE SHOES OFF!" 🤣🤣🤣
If you ever sat on a toilet seat until your leg fell asleep....youuuuuu might be a gamer
That happens to the best of us.
That mostly happened to me, because I'm a Gamer.
If you have more than one first name...…….
If you smoke in your above ground pool
Who doesn't bring a sixer to a funeral?
Thanks you my good fan I really appreciate your comment about me if you don't mind you can text me on hangout email below jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
🤣🤣🤣🤣 love it, I can't breathe
1:02 That one happened recently.
4:14 That occasionally happens to me.
5:14 I think that eventually applies to everybody.
My grandparents are the first one, also with the red cups for everyday use.
Had my first jury duty service today. It's not like 12 angry men it's like 3:52 . Any young kids make a note of that. Don't be arrogant but don't think it's special either.
If you drive a 1965 Ford Truck...
If you think God looks kinda like Hank Williams Jr.
First Blue Collar Comedy Tour Movie
Haha yes!!
you are the short bus of comedy
Laughter (single) courtesy of Bill Engvall. Miss 'em both. But we'll always have UA-cam...
4:21 you’ve done that one engvall
4:25 we went on vacation last winter remember that night he came out of the bathroom and he was like……
I once read The Bridges of Madison County. Not one page of anything to do with construction!!!
+1701spacecadet uh duh
+1701spacecadet Thanks for saving me the time :D
4:50 What about "If your daughter's Barbie Dreamhouse has wheels under it"?
They recently came out with a Barbie Dream Camper.
He great
Precisely my good pony, Precisely.
I love this man!
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Bill laughing at everything
Hard not to when Jeff is doing his thing 🤣
If your grandmother has to use a Polaris six wheeler to get the mail
"well they love to hunt"
some guy: YEAHHH
Thanks you my good fan I really appreciate your comment about me if you don't mind you can text me on hangout email below jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
AMERICA!!!!
EUROPE!!!!!!
AMERICA
Murica
If you wake up one morning with $1,000,0000 under your pillows.
I'm trying to think of alternatives to that.
Last words. Of star spangled banner is play ball
Makes millions for saying this stuff... man, what a world we live in...
oh my so true
If you have more children than you do teeth
You might be a dentist.
1:49 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Thanks you my good fan I really appreciate your comment about me if you don't mind you can text me on hangout email below jefffoxworthy63@gmail.com ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
priceless
If you call Olan Mills before they call you.......
hilarious!!!!!!!
im guilty of the toilet
Of your TV-set is insured but your house ain’t...ymbar
clothes line in the back
Keep smiling