I’ve been struggling with how to balance technology and faith in our home, and ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ provided some amazing insights that we’ve already started using
Because that’s how she feels she needs to portray herself to the world so people like you will comment as you did, be ugly people who cares it’s freedom
I would only add that if you disagree with your partner's disciplinary action, that you wait to express that disagreement away from the child. A child will tune in on that divide and capitalize it.
He never said a disagreement, an agreement on how to discipline I think is what the goal is. But I do agree with you that the conversation should be private.
Absolutely!! My, now ex, would always "correct" my sentiments in moments of disciplining and beyond. I can't even express how f**king angry that makes me!!
Basically what my mother does to my father and then my sister imitates it, I've tried so hard to explain that to her but she just doesn't get it, she kinda expects somehow that she will magically change herself with that (yeah, good luck with that).
That moment where he talks about a child that misbehaves, everyone lies to them and hates them... I was the kid that was lied to and hated. I grew up to resent and hate the people that raised me so fucking much. The day I realized that I was the reason people hated me, I began to hate my grandmother. My grandfather disciplined me when I was bad, when he knew about it, fairly often, but he died when I was young. My grandmother just let me do what I wanted for years. A lot of my teen years were spent hating her and hating myself. I was a really smart kid, so the second my brain developed to the point of being self-aware, I fucking plummetted out of all social hierarchies. I isolated myself just to try to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me and why I couldn't fit in with society. Took me years to raise myself. Fucking depression and anxiety haunted me for fucking years, too. *DO YOUR KIDS A FAVOR AND STOP DOING THEM SO MANY FUCKING FAVORS!*
I’m just curious to exactly what you mean about doing your kids favors? Are you saying don’t buy them as they want and don’t do anything that you can for them? And to be more strict? Just as a mother I’m curious thank you
If you never got an ass-whooping you dont even know, dont act like its even comparable. Its like Tom Cruise saying it felt like a warzone on a movie-set because it was "tough" .... its fuckin retarded and ignorant to assume you know something without going through it
Simple example: Your kid does something you don’t like and instead of being a modern vague ass parent saying things like „oh what happened here?“ you ask: What did YOU do? There doesn’t need to be an aggressive tone but the emphasis has to be on YOU - the kid. What I see with my daughter 90% of the time is this: she starts thinking... then explains and while she is at it you can see her blushing or starting to look down in embarrassment because her moral compass is already at work. Depending on the situation and complexity, she comes up with a perspective on her own behavior and usually tries to judge it herself. If she does not I follow through with: „well, what do you think of that?“ If she doesn’t know I will point out the consequences of her actions in at least 2 or 3 directions so she can then make a better estimation. None of this ever needed a time-out or yelling or any form of physical violence. But you have to sit down with them. And you have to enable them to take responsibility from the moment they can identify with themselves in the „I“ form. They have to be brought up with a firm understanding of what is real and what is true and how action and consequences are linked and what therefore serves their family, their community, and most importantly: them. Cause that’s your goal as a parent: raising a human being that is able to survive in a way that isn’t hell for them or others for most of the time.
I would also be careful with the word „like“ because the first thing you‘ve got to do - obviously - get your own standards straight and keep yourself in check. So what is not to like? It’s the disrespect of other people’s boundaries, it’s destructive behavior, it’s lying, it’s self-harm. And the way to install those mindsets right from the beginning in your child is not through speech because a 2 year old won’t understand. It’s to live by what is real, true and right. Because your child will follow your example long before it will be able to hear any advice, let alone follow it. So self-discipline always comes first. And that’s where today’s parents are having problems, cause it seems as though one half is leading towards „infinite freedom“ for their kids and the other half is enforcing their own vaguely defined standards in forms of abstract rules and resort to some kind of abuse if the child doesn’t „obey“.
I do this with my dog and even she picks it up. She hears "what did YOU" and she's already running to her kennel because she knows she's done something bad.
He has a very good point, you need to be able to recognize the amount of damage that you can inflict on your child if you don't learn to control yourself and deal with your emotions, cause you are their modelator, so whatever they see you doing, that's what's gonna stick in their minds. And if you dont correct missconducts, every time is going to get a little harder to handle it and to keep it cool. Children are precious, we need to be held accountable and try to do everything we can to protect them, that includes to become better human beings, and by definition, also better parents ❤
Right, the internet whether the parents realize it or not will act as a second evil parent if not monitored and regulated. I'm seeing my nephews and nieces slowly growing into bad apples because of their neglectful parents.
@@PEACEFULLNESS1450 That is a recipe for disaster. Two men and two women are not meant to raise children; only a husband and wife ought to for proper rearing.
@@st.michaelthearchangel7774 can anyone give me any reason to believe that? Seems to me like this is just an opinion with no points that support it or are capable of giving somebody useful knowledge.
@@st.michaelthearchangel7774 what? So the fact that I had a kid at a young age, and separated from my kids mom, and we are co-parenting with our own respectful spouses is a recipe for disaster? Okay guy, sure!
Adults are mocked if they blame their parents for their issues. Why would parents admit anyrhing? Look at all the articles about millennials. Btw my comment wasn't an attack of yours. I was adding to. I've noticed that I have to explain that. It could be my word choice, but I don't know.
In my case it's absolutely the opposite. My parents or my wife's parents are a disaster in taking care of their grandkids. They spoiled them so much that some of my nephews are total brats and even shouts at my sister for not having their way.
People who don't understand discipline might take revenge (as they would do onto another adult as their go to response) probably because they feel a lack of control OVER the child and or their upbringing. Education in child development could make a difference.
I have known a few instances where parents permitted their little boys to get away with just about everything - who felt their son should never have to say he was sorry, or take responsibility, for anything he did. In each of those instances, that boy committed suicide when he reached late adolescence. It was as though, when he reached that point in his life when he should have been able to begin to participate in the larger world as an adult, he made the horrific discovery that the world did not behave the way he'd been taught all his life. And he had no idea how to deal with it.
What I take out of this is: if you withold interaction, however unpleasant it may be (like scolding your child), you're gonna lash out sometimes later, without even thinking about it. You turn punishment (which may not even need to be violent) into psychological violence. It's true for everything else. If you repress yourself, your reactions will be delayed and completely out of context, AND WILL HAPPEN, believe it or not. How can the child learn from you? When he becomes an adult and starts tallying up his life's experiences, he's gonna conclude that people in authority don't do their jobs at all, but will attack and destroy you for no reason at all, unpredictably and out of spite.
well shit. You read me like a sheet of paper. Although, it was my self-absorbed grandma who made me reach those conclusions, but my parent's inaction and inability to stand up to her also contributed.
Discipline is about teaching kids what are the rules, not about making them different people. Think of everything you do from the lens of teaching rules, and you'll do fine. And never hit.
There have to be negative consequences for negative behaviour and positive reinforcement for good development. Passive aggressive behaviour is not a desirable trait in parents or children. Also many people treat their children like idiots and wonder why they grow up to be idiots of course it is because they themselves are idiots.
I totally get this. In a psychology class I took years ago, I remember learning the 3 types of parenting: Authoritarian, Authoritative and Permissive. I realized then that my parents were permissive, which I honestly believe is the worst of the three. That’s what Peterson is conveying here. Parents should strive to take an authoritative approach.
@@TheCatchProductions Yes!!! Whenever there was ever a problem, my parents always wanted to see how we could be closer. The goal should have been to see what I was lacking, hkw I could be more confident and independent and not need them.
True and simple, an involved parent is a good parent. Sometimes little kids get out of hand and a timeout, a talking to may be necessary to snap them out of it, but they need boundaries and they need you (the parent) to be an example of where boundaries lie. You can't reason with a 5 year old sometimes. They will drive you to give them a smack on the hand or bottom and you'll feel terrible for it, but an action without an explanation or an apology, I feel, will promote bad behavior. I was hit with all kinds of things as a child and the consequences were never explained to me until my stepfather came along and took time to express his disappointment, if I acted up. But it was what he said that lifted me up. Saying that I could do better and be better as a person. And that gave me a lot of self-esteem and confidence.
Discipline is bred from respect. Respect needs to be reminded of by being there and teaching the child. Neglecting the child will cause a lot of missed lessons.
You should be caring, charming, loving, supportive, humorous, kind and treat your children and strangers with the utmost respect. This builds a strong inner system of morality that cannot be broken by anyone else and certainly not a child. Be nice 99% of the time but when you have been compromised in your belief on how to treat somebody or how to behave, you can open up a small box of 'ape shit'. Worked for my grandad, my dad, my brother and i plus no kids have been hurt in the making of this family tree. P.s remember not to do things your kids will dislike you for too!!
Don't verbally, physically bully, unfairly manipulate, take advantage of or abuse your power over your kids or someone else's kids. Be fair, consistent, kind, caring, trustworthy, loving and understanding Don't allow others to abuse you or those you love and care about. Teach your kids who to turn to and go to for help Be forgiving Teach your kids how to have fun without harming themselves or others Take a stand Protect and defend what you love Create healthy relationships with others Use disipline and don't spend too much time around people who bully or manipulate you just because they want to make you feel uncomfortable because they are looking to control you If you have a relative or family member who bullies you or treats you in ways you don't want to be treated don't spend as much time with them If you do have to spend the holiday completely alone because of choosing to that is OK. Take actions to be more social and make friends. Take your time. You'll be glad you did Treat others fairly
Mine are the reverse, they act out at home but are generally well behaved in public or at school, and are more remorseful and apologetic if they do wrong to others in those environments. It's challenging but thinking about it I would rather have it that way around.
That is actually considered healthy - they trust you enough to learn their boundaries at home, and since they are able to, they don't have to do it out in public.
Wonderful! I've found that when a child is testing the limits of a situation, it's best to prep them for the situation (say, going out to eat) by explaining it beforehand (toddler+). It's still going to be a challenge, but it has shown to be very helpful.
Two kids, neither have had a temper tantrum publicly and only rarely in private. Never raised my hand to either one and never will. Both polite, behaved and universally received well by children and adults. I realize the bar is pretty low in much of Dr. Peterson talks and whatnot but it's good to know we're not doing terrible.
What can I say: I regret not watching him from the moment motherhood started being less of a ‘beautiful adventure’. The amount of times I literally hated my (yes!) beloved son is really quite too many for a loving mum 😒😵
If I was your son....I'd obey you to the max! Everyday, I come home from school and the 1 st thing I'd do, is give you my phone...don't want any distractions, then I do my homework, then all the chores for that day, which must be done to my your satisfaction. Then I'd do whatever s You tell me to do with no back talk or arguing!
Staying ahead of them is key bc simply you've been young before. I explain to my son that he should know the WHY of his actions. If he doesn't then I layout the rewards and consequences until he understands.
If you havent said no in a while, youre doing it wrong. Even if you want to say yes and theres no harm in letting them, say no if you havent lately. Make sure your kid has some idea how the world works AND how to cope with it before he leaves the nest. Its your job not to be liked sometimes. You are not friends.
I love Jordan's brain and work. However, I am not sure about this sole view upon raising children. I am still figuring it out with my step son who is 9, is highly intelligent but also has issues due to abuse as a young child.... Trauma I say makes the whole issue way more complex
Has anyone else had a child who never really was bold? Since my son was born he was very close to me and we always worked as a team. I have always explained stuff to him and I never had any real issues. Maybe bad advice but try to understand stuff from your child's point of view and think If I was 2 and I was asked to do this what would I think. So when u children say can we stay in the playground for another 2 mins then say yes but 2 mins later remind them and leave.
“Don’t let your kid do something that would make you not like them.” That should not be the standard by which we judge what we should or shouldn’t let our kids do. We are teaching them right and wrong, and how to be a good person in the society in which they live. If there was nothing wrong with what they are doing, but you just don’t personally like it, you are the one who should change.
I love all the "absolute advice" from parents in the comments below. The down-to-earth truth is that it'd be nice to use patience and love to raise your children, and a stern voice with power when you don't have the time to kindly explain why your child shouldn't run into the street. I don't judge parents for not doing the above though. Some kids don't learn that way, at all. Some kids want to throw their toys at other kids faces, and if all their toys are soft, they'll find a brick. Some kids learn by rote, so you just make them do the right thing like their chores. Some kids learn by watching you, so you write out letters while they do the same. Kids are little people, and people are as complex as anything any of us can imagine.
Dr Peterson would be revolutionary in the Asian and Eastern societies regarding his ideas on parenthood, if he would ever travel out of the Western circuits where he normally speaks.
Us humans bear a grudge about bad social moments all too well. We should do it more like many animal mothers: when the child does something bad, make VERY sure it knows it did something bad and only discipline it right IN the situation, as the child won't make the connection between consequences and any of its related bad behaviour that you might be referring back to. Besides that, NEVER use firm language as that would water out the power of your disciplining voice. By standard, show love to your child and keep giving it examples of the kind of loving interactions it should learn to cultivate. The first years are key and as JP beautifully says, if the child gains the right attitude towards people, the world will open up to it and people will make valuable connections to the child. Thanks JP and Jocko!
From someone who doesn’t have children but will consider in the future. How does one deal with a child having a temper-tantrum at the supermarket? I see a lot of parents mainly ignoring them and letting their tantrum fade out... Would that be the correct thing to do, any useful insights?
Jip Pl Wrong.. You take them outside, some place boring and dull, then you let them sit there. And sit there. and sit there.. until they are ready to behave again.
Gentle parenting is not the equivalent of permissive parenting, or even lack of discipline. The whole point of gentle parenting is to discipline children in a calm and gentle manner, there's nothing in this video that is contrary to that philosophy. "Spare the rod..." is mostly taken out of context to justify physical punishment of children. Really it's referring to the rod of a shepherd who guides his flock, not a rod used to hit a person. My point is that if someone is letting their child call the shots and labeling their non-parenting as "gentle parenting" they are very sorely mistaken. They're not parenting at all, but they found a label that - on a very shallow understanding - justifies their unwillingness to discipline. So they use it and give the rest of us a bad name.
He's right. Whatever you WANT to think, the point is you are the adult and you are supposed to guide your child. With correct discipline, love and encouragement. If you wouldn't stand for someone else's child acting a certain way you better make sure your child is not either. You can do it lovingly yet forcefully. Children don't understand calm direction at times. They are trying to go through you to see if you stop them. Be a parent. They'll have friends all their life. Only 2 parents if they're lucky. Parent isn't a title bestowed on idiots who spit out kids. It's earned dammit.
One time my brother kept annoying me constantly for like an hour poking, pushing, disrupting what I was playing with, punching, jumping on me, until I kept screaming at the top of my lungs to go away. My dad whacked me believing I was the source of the problem. I learned to avoid my brother. For those who want to jump in and say oh your brother wanted to play with you! stealing toys and punching isn't playing.
By time we were teenagers I grew fully 4 inches taller then my older brother and I was stronger. I am just a lot bigger then him, but not until we hit teenage years. He stopped with the random punching and bullying me, and I paid him back by terrorizing every potential girlfriend he ever brought home.
@@rustyscrapper well, I'm sure your revenge on your brother only made the relationship with him even worse. I wouldn't have gone with revenge. Just stand your ground when necessary. Expect him to come back at you in the most subtle way.
@@nustada he is the best father one could wish for. My mum did worse than a slap across the face but my dad and her are the best parents in the world. They sacrificed everything for me and my sister and work like mad to give us the best life. My sister and I don't deserve even half of them. If your child acts like a spoilt, filthy-mouthed, disrepectful brat, a smack ia necessary.
Misleading title. This doesn't tell you how to discipline your child, it tells you why you should. Which is still valuable information, but not the same thing.
Perception is reality. People don’t understand that they have a problem, and I like how he touched base on this. If you don’t see that you have a problem you can’t really change or understand what you need to do to fix it. I understand that I have a bit of an anger problem and can easily resort to my baser instinct even with my child. Me and my wife have been working hard on this problem. We have had long talks about how to discipline our daughter when she comes of age to be disciplined. What we have come up with is, if we are to spank our daughter it is NEVER to be full forced and we are NOT looking to take our anger out on a child. As Jordan has said we are adults, a lot bigger and stronger than a child. When spanking it should be enough to get our daughters attention, NOT to release or satisfy our anger. 3 spanks on the butt and never slap. When you use violence on a child they will learn that when you get upset it is ok to use violence.
Thanks Jordan! U need to know u are inspiring a generation that was taught to believe everything u are against u should just shut up and accept the new norm. Keep questioning the new norm. 🙏👌
Revenge? That is scary. If a child has a temper tantrum and you take it so personally and you don't stop and address it right there and then lie to yourself that the child what? Had the control to manage himself?. Then you are going to take REVENGE? That just sounds evil. Get some education! When say the child comes back to you (in an attempt to reconnect ) it is your responsibility to put integrity back before rejecting the kid. Parent Effective Training education is available. Revenge on a child or other is horrible. Recognize it and stop it. We are all capable of such crap but we can go from survival mode to thrive mode.
irurouni it means they understand the social constructs outside of the home but once their home it’s there chance to not adhere to the social constructs that’s been forced on them
irurouni it means that you’re not disciplining them at home. Do you have some expectations for them that you’ve clearly explained, like picking up their stuff and putting it away? Do you expect them to quietly do their homework at the desk or kitchen table? Do you expect them to help with setting the table or clearing it after dinner? Do you expect them to be reading an age appropriate book in the evening and NOT just watching TV or doing phone stuff? Do you ask them about school at the dinner table to know what’s going on with them and to learn about whatever challenges or problems they may b having at school with other kids, teachers or completing assignments? Do you expect them to be respectful, responsible, helpful and kind..... and if they aren’t, find out why if they’re older ... oh and don’t feed them junk and expect them to be calm.... pasta, bread, and sugar ( including fruit and juice) are not helpful. Freshly cooked meat, fish chicken and vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower and squash and spinach are whole food that are going to serve them.... crockpots and the Instant Pot as well as grilling steaks can make this easier to do. But don’t confuse packaged, processed food with real food. One will help you and the other won’t.
It can also mean that they've been completely overwhelmed by the day and now that they're in a safe place they can unravel. When my children start misbehaving at home, I think about how to ease the pressure on them. Maybe drop out of piano lessons for a while. Possibly they need to stay home from school for a day. Say no to the party invitation, have a boring, minimal screen time, stay at home weekend, etc. That almost always fixes it. Children and families today are pushed to be too busy, and when they start acting strange, it's my signal to hit the brakes.
I've listened to JP talk about raising kids a lot - however, how do you avoid your child getting run over by other kids that are though? I mean kids are though... you don't want your child to be bullied or anything like that, having to go through that is pure hell and affects your overall life and health.
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The main model for our children’s socialization needs to be done by the trusted adults in their life. Mainly mom, dad, and grandparents. Do not leave that job to their peers. Kids are not equipped to teach these skills to other kids. If you want a child that is tolerable to be around then you need to model it. If they get away from you before they have developed the proper level of confidence in themselves, then they will slip into bad habits that reflect the type of behavior that their minor peers deem appropriate. That is not a standard to want your children to live up to. The bar is lowww.
Wow. Not tooting any horn here by any means. Seriously I am an idiot at 50 years of age... but somehow ... looking back, as I raised my son from the early age of 18,apparently, I knew this stuff and applied it. That being said, he was one of those "old souls", born to the world and not a lot of convincing or cajoling was really required of me but still...I recall thinking this way and applying this to my rearing of him. I always saw him as a person and treated him as such. My expectations of him were that he be kind and conscientious, hard working and respectful and I tried my best to treat him that way as an example. Children are just small, immature people after all? I recall, as a little girl feeling disrespected and underestimated at times. I did not want my son to feel like that ever. Not by me at least and not by others in my presence. He was a soul. Worthy of and having the ability to be respected and respectful. Aren't we all???
I found if behavior became an issue I would take time for a one-on-one afternoon adventure, Always good results. Sometimes it was not my kid and the sign in one such case was an increasing stutter.
Restraints it’s called discipline not abuse and all kids need structure. We all need to be disciplined in a way. If not, it’s chaos and anarchy there needs to be order specially, with the kids to have honor and respect. How are you gonna learn it if you ain’t tight as a child it’s not like you don’t care you disciplining them shows how much you do when they grow up and look back on it they’re gonna be like wow I need to do that too. It helps out in the long run for a society to work. it’s also kind of like people getting mad at teachers pet when they should stop and look at themselves. Why do they feel this way like bullies that bully people when at home there’s something sinister and wrong and they’re not getting the help that they need so sometimes we need to stop and think it’s like kind of putting on someone else’s shoes that saying perception walking through the eyes of another and I don’t care to say it. I look up to Jordan Peterson, like a father figure. I’ve never had a father just abusers and that goes with parents like my mother, but don’t get me wrong. I care about my whole family even the ones that have wronged me because in life we all need to move forward and realize our problems so we can grow not dwell so I am no saint but I try to stay to what I believe in and away no one’s right or wrong. You have to solve it because a lot of things are always wrong and are hidden in the back it’s like he said. Get your life sorted out. so you can help out the ones around you that you care for that also means take care of yourself self-care isn’t being selfish because how are you supposed to care for someone if you don’t care for yourself so you take care of your mental health and physical when I was young, I thought I was invincible along with my older brother that I looked up to and he is gone so don’t try to take things for granted when you get upset identify what upsets you tell someone and don’t let them walk on you. There is a shirt that we can buy that says doormat, but all jokes aside. You matter it’s good to stick to a moral ethic a code me, love and peace to think about what I say before I say it and what I do before I do it, so don’t hold things this all kind of sounds like a rant but it’s just things I felt that I had to say and thanks to my man’s. He has helped me out of a dark place, so thank you Jordan Peterson.
Well by the way my child handles herself in the world and from your words I can say me and the wife are doing an ok job, not perfect (I have anger issues thanks to my father's drunken rage) but nobodies shooting for perfection. But with my anger I always apologize and tell her "that's not the way anyone should act including you or myself" and I also tell her when she gets a little older and meets boys to not accept anger like I sometimes show.
Issue one - you blame your anger issues on your father, while I'm sure it's partly true, and maybe genetic, it's also your fault and your responsibility to work on. Issue two - your child is on the receiving end of your anger issues, grow up and learn self control. Issue three - as a father you are supposed to be a role model, not teaching your child to avoid future partners like yourself. Issue four - your username would imply you are a stoner but I hope I am wrong. Issue five - while it's true that nobody is shooting for perfection, you should always shoot higher than what you are currently achieving and it looks like you're aiming pretty low. I'm not trying to insult you here or call you a bad parent but I think you could do better and your child would benefit greatly from it, as well as yourself. I am by no means an expert on parenting but I just have to point out the problems that were embedded in your words. I genuinely hope I am wrong.
Integral to the point about teaching your child to avoid people like yourself in the future, you are subconsciously teaching your child to disrespect your wife - since she wrongly accepts your behaviour and chose you despite your issues. You are telling your child that their mothers choice of partner is flawed, and since your child is a genetic product of both you and your wife (I assume), that your child is also inherently flawed on a level beyond their control. You are also telling your child that the person they should be able to rely on for support is unstable and lacking in self control, which is a catalyst for anxiety.
The assumption that not many people are self-aware is generally true, in that they do look down on little ones. But who practices fairness or truth nowadays? Or how many feel the need to be fair? Not liking a child, who hasn't even been informed of the best engagement practices, is immature. I don't know how many adults exactly prefer the "GO-green-light" of principles to the gratification of their ego - even in adultsphere. You're more eager to clarify some stance as lack of understanding is spotted. (Should be even more present with kids). Whereas if understanding has occured & immature maneuvering starts, that's an incomplete development too, that can't teach ANYONE anything. A debate only makes sense up to the point of clarifying logical standpoints, but once all cards are in and still no improvement, well that's another problem... immaturity. Maturity is not equivalent to grown-up. Thus older immaturity can retaliate on newer one. Sad but common.
jordan, you are either incredibly wise or a very average man with a gift for speaking. i am leaning to the former. i do love your politics however and your views on religion are thought provoking.
I agree. I've been startled to find myself seeing truth & reason in his talks & discussion despite the way he is ideologically framed. BUT I'm only seeing his intelligence prevail when he's being contrite & opposing the far left. When he has an open platform, he seems to contradict himself & quote hearsay as evidence.
LIFE is not so easy when you are alone imaging when you get married ,I had a tough time to raise my 2 kids and my wife was third kids .I alway said to my son waited t il your 18 and at 18 he went to a drug store with 2 guy that he did not know and commit a crime went to prison.Many years later he told me papa a good chance I was scared of you because I would still be in prison.I used to be scared of my mum and father and when my friends ask me to go and do bad things' alway said no and went home, if you do not have control of your child ,the child will control you like they control my wife when I was not there.
I would see it like this. Why do people hit the screen when the computer doesn't do what they like? Because of ignorance, they have absolutely no clue how it works, and it won't work. There might be a coincidence that the computer would reset, and then work. But no hitting it will not fix it. It's like kicking a tyre becsue your car got a flat.
“I’m raising you so that someone can stand to be around you besides me” my Dad
I’ve been struggling with how to balance technology and faith in our home, and ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ provided some amazing insights that we’ve already started using
Discipline with consistency. Never discipline when angry. Have a plan with appropriate consequences. FOLLOW THROUGH. Reward good behavior
Every interviewer should be just like this one! He allows JP to talk! Awesome! Double thumbs up!
cristybello why r u so beautiful?
Zeljko Mican born and made i assume
Great smile of you Cristy
Because that’s how she feels she needs to portray herself to the world so people like you will comment as you did, be ugly people who cares it’s freedom
I mean don’t jazz up your photo or take 100 photos at that no chin fat looking up angle
Why to impress others
I would only add that if you disagree with your partner's disciplinary action, that you wait to express that disagreement away from the child.
A child will tune in on that divide and capitalize it.
It's OK to have disagreements AND to not allow your child to control you. Injustices must not stand - model that behavior.
@@flowerpt agreed
He never said a disagreement, an agreement on how to discipline I think is what the goal is. But I do agree with you that the conversation should be private.
Absolutely!! My, now ex, would always "correct" my sentiments in moments of disciplining and beyond.
I can't even express how f**king angry that makes me!!
Basically what my mother does to my father and then my sister imitates it, I've tried so hard to explain that to her but she just doesn't get it, she kinda expects somehow that she will magically change herself with that (yeah, good luck with that).
That moment where he talks about a child that misbehaves, everyone lies to them and hates them... I was the kid that was lied to and hated. I grew up to resent and hate the people that raised me so fucking much. The day I realized that I was the reason people hated me, I began to hate my grandmother. My grandfather disciplined me when I was bad, when he knew about it, fairly often, but he died when I was young. My grandmother just let me do what I wanted for years. A lot of my teen years were spent hating her and hating myself. I was a really smart kid, so the second my brain developed to the point of being self-aware, I fucking plummetted out of all social hierarchies. I isolated myself just to try to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me and why I couldn't fit in with society. Took me years to raise myself. Fucking depression and anxiety haunted me for fucking years, too.
*DO YOUR KIDS A FAVOR AND STOP DOING THEM SO MANY FUCKING FAVORS!*
I’m just curious to exactly what you mean about doing your kids favors? Are you saying don’t buy them as they want and don’t do anything that you can for them? And to be more strict? Just as a mother I’m curious thank you
I cannot state enough how I admire this man!
My mother never laid a hand on me, but by god when she raised her voice the heavens shook. That was enough to keep me in line.
If you never got an ass-whooping you dont even know, dont act like its even comparable. Its like Tom Cruise saying it felt like a warzone on a movie-set because it was "tough" .... its fuckin retarded and ignorant to assume you know something without going through it
@@RandomRabbit007 Nothing OP said suggested OP was comparing them; just that when she rose her voice it disciplined him.
@@RandomRabbit007 calm down flower
@Dirty Needlez i wasnt such a pussy like you were as a kid.
My parents had to beat discipline into me.
mine worked the eyebrow
Simple example: Your kid does something you don’t like and instead of being a modern vague ass parent saying things like „oh what happened here?“ you ask: What did YOU do? There doesn’t need to be an aggressive tone but the emphasis has to be on YOU - the kid. What I see with my daughter 90% of the time is this: she starts thinking... then explains and while she is at it you can see her blushing or starting to look down in embarrassment because her moral compass is already at work. Depending on the situation and complexity, she comes up with a perspective on her own behavior and usually tries to judge it herself. If she does not I follow through with: „well, what do you think of that?“ If she doesn’t know I will point out the consequences of her actions in at least 2 or 3 directions so she can then make a better estimation. None of this ever needed a time-out or yelling or any form of physical violence. But you have to sit down with them. And you have to enable them to take responsibility from the moment they can identify with themselves in the „I“ form. They have to be brought up with a firm understanding of what is real and what is true and how action and consequences are linked and what therefore serves their family, their community, and most importantly: them. Cause that’s your goal as a parent: raising a human being that is able to survive in a way that isn’t hell for them or others for most of the time.
I would also be careful with the word „like“ because the first thing you‘ve got to do - obviously - get your own standards straight and keep yourself in check. So what is not to like? It’s the disrespect of other people’s boundaries, it’s destructive behavior, it’s lying, it’s self-harm.
And the way to install those mindsets right from the beginning in your child is not through speech because a 2 year old won’t understand. It’s to live by what is real, true and right. Because your child will follow your example long before it will be able to hear any advice, let alone follow it. So self-discipline always comes first. And that’s where today’s parents are having problems, cause it seems as though one half is leading towards „infinite freedom“ for their kids and the other half is enforcing their own vaguely defined standards in forms of abstract rules and resort to some kind of abuse if the child doesn’t „obey“.
I couldn’t agree less
MIG29MTOW Stallion Well - fair enough. Good luck with your kids.
I do this with my dog and even she picks it up. She hears "what did YOU" and she's already running to her kennel because she knows she's done something bad.
Snj prl where did you learn this technique from? Thank you for taking the time to write this out.
He has a very good point, you need to be able to recognize the amount of damage that you can inflict on your child if you don't learn to control yourself and deal with your emotions, cause you are their modelator, so whatever they see you doing, that's what's gonna stick in their minds. And if you dont correct missconducts, every time is going to get a little harder to handle it and to keep it cool.
Children are precious, we need to be held accountable and try to do everything we can to protect them, that includes to become better human beings, and by definition, also better parents ❤
Message to Parents: Be very careful about what is being watched on TV and Internet by the Parents of your kids.
Right, the internet whether the parents realize it or not will act as a second evil parent if not monitored and regulated. I'm seeing my nephews and nieces slowly growing into bad apples because of their neglectful parents.
@Silmarrillion123 lgbti?
@@PEACEFULLNESS1450 That is a recipe for disaster. Two men and two women are not meant to raise children; only a husband and wife ought to for proper rearing.
@@st.michaelthearchangel7774 can anyone give me any reason to believe that? Seems to me like this is just an opinion with no points that support it or are capable of giving somebody useful knowledge.
@@st.michaelthearchangel7774 what? So the fact that I had a kid at a young age, and separated from my kids mom, and we are co-parenting with our own respectful spouses is a recipe for disaster? Okay guy, sure!
So many people shouldn't have kids. And parents don't blame themselves when they screw up
Adults are mocked if they blame their parents for their issues. Why would parents admit anyrhing? Look at all the articles about millennials.
Btw my comment wasn't an attack of yours. I was adding to. I've noticed that I have to explain that. It could be my word choice, but I don't know.
well adult is big kids with flaws, there's no such thing called perfect parents
This is where having grandparents around is a benefit. Learning from the mistakes I made as a parent. Doing things differently with the grandbabies.
In my case it's absolutely the opposite. My parents or my wife's parents are a disaster in taking care of their grandkids. They spoiled them so much that some of my nephews are total brats and even shouts at my sister for not having their way.
People who don't understand discipline might take revenge (as they would do onto another adult as their go to response) probably because they feel a lack of control OVER the child and or their upbringing. Education in child development could make a difference.
I have known a few instances where parents permitted their little boys to get away with just about everything - who felt their son should never have to say he was sorry, or take responsibility, for anything he did. In each of those instances, that boy committed suicide when he reached late adolescence. It was as though, when he reached that point in his life when he should have been able to begin to participate in the larger world as an adult, he made the horrific discovery that the world did not behave the way he'd been taught all his life. And he had no idea how to deal with it.
Genevieve Fosa 😢
Yes I’ve met these man children .not pretty.
What I take out of this is: if you withold interaction, however unpleasant it may be (like scolding your child), you're gonna lash out sometimes later, without even thinking about it. You turn punishment (which may not even need to be violent) into psychological violence. It's true for everything else. If you repress yourself, your reactions will be delayed and completely out of context, AND WILL HAPPEN, believe it or not. How can the child learn from you? When he becomes an adult and starts tallying up his life's experiences, he's gonna conclude that people in authority don't do their jobs at all, but will attack and destroy you for no reason at all, unpredictably and out of spite.
well shit. You read me like a sheet of paper. Although, it was my self-absorbed grandma who made me reach those conclusions, but my parent's inaction and inability to stand up to her also contributed.
Thank God for Jordan, the spokesman for commonsense.
My daughter's the opposite. She's an angel at other people's houses, not that she's bad at home but she's super nice to other people
Discipline is about teaching kids what are the rules, not about making them different people. Think of everything you do from the lens of teaching rules, and you'll do fine. And never hit.
Agreed
There have to be negative consequences for negative behaviour and positive reinforcement for good development. Passive aggressive behaviour is not a desirable trait in parents or children. Also many people treat their children like idiots and wonder why they grow up to be idiots of course it is because they themselves are idiots.
I totally get this. In a psychology class I took years ago, I remember learning the 3 types of parenting: Authoritarian, Authoritative and Permissive. I realized then that my parents were permissive, which I honestly believe is the worst of the three. That’s what Peterson is conveying here. Parents should strive to take an authoritative approach.
CharlestonTracy Same and in hindsight, it looks a lot like neglectful parenting.
That protects them but doesn’t prepare them.... the object of parenting is for your kids to not need you, harsh but true...
@@TheCatchProductions Yes!!! Whenever there was ever a problem, my parents always wanted to see how we could be closer. The goal should have been to see what I was lacking, hkw I could be more confident and independent and not need them.
Try growing up under 2 marines. I was not ready for “normal society” at all
True and simple, an involved parent is a good parent. Sometimes little kids get out of hand and a timeout, a talking to may be necessary to snap them out of it, but they need boundaries and they need you (the parent) to be an example of where boundaries lie. You can't reason with a 5 year old sometimes. They will drive you to give them a smack on the hand or bottom and you'll feel terrible for it, but an action without an explanation or an apology, I feel, will promote bad behavior. I was hit with all kinds of things as a child and the consequences were never explained to me until my stepfather came along and took time to express his disappointment, if I acted up. But it was what he said that lifted me up. Saying that I could do better and be better as a person. And that gave me a lot of self-esteem and confidence.
Discipline is bred from respect. Respect needs to be reminded of by being there and teaching the child. Neglecting the child will cause a lot of missed lessons.
You should be caring, charming, loving, supportive, humorous, kind and treat your children and strangers with the utmost respect. This builds a strong inner system of morality that cannot be broken by anyone else and certainly not a child. Be nice 99% of the time but when you have been compromised in your belief on how to treat somebody or how to behave, you can open up a small box of 'ape shit'. Worked for my grandad, my dad, my brother and i plus no kids have been hurt in the making of this family tree. P.s remember not to do things your kids will dislike you for too!!
"Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul." Provebs 29:17
Don't verbally, physically bully, unfairly manipulate, take advantage of or abuse your power over your kids or someone else's kids.
Be fair, consistent, kind, caring, trustworthy, loving and understanding
Don't allow others to abuse you or those you love and care about.
Teach your kids who to turn to and go to for help
Be forgiving
Teach your kids how to have fun without harming themselves or others
Take a stand
Protect and defend what you love
Create healthy relationships with others
Use disipline and don't spend too much time around people who bully or manipulate you just because they want to make you feel uncomfortable because they are looking to control you
If you have a relative or family member who bullies you or treats you in ways you don't want to be treated don't spend as much time with them
If you do have to spend the holiday completely alone because of choosing to that is OK.
Take actions to be more social and make friends. Take your time.
You'll be glad you did
Treat others fairly
Jennifer Dana. It sounds like you expect people to walk on water! Good luck with that!!
@@keithbawden7940Too bad that people are too busy misjudging and dissing people.
This is also true when kids meet a new teacher.
They fool around and mess around to test out their position in relation to the teacher
God bless you. At least someone is real. Thank you for this truth
Mine are the reverse, they act out at home but are generally well behaved in public or at school, and are more remorseful and apologetic if they do wrong to others in those environments. It's challenging but thinking about it I would rather have it that way around.
That is actually considered healthy - they trust you enough to learn their boundaries at home, and since they are able to, they don't have to do it out in public.
My toddler is the same way. Overall a well behaved child.
My children behaves like a jerk at home but angelic with other people
Wonderful! I've found that when a child is testing the limits of a situation, it's best to prep them for the situation (say, going out to eat) by explaining it beforehand (toddler+). It's still going to be a challenge, but it has shown to be very helpful.
Two kids, neither have had a temper tantrum publicly and only rarely in private. Never raised my hand to either one and never will. Both polite, behaved and universally received well by children and adults. I realize the bar is pretty low in much of Dr. Peterson talks and whatnot but it's good to know we're not doing terrible.
What can I say: I regret not watching him from the moment motherhood started being less of a ‘beautiful adventure’. The amount of times I literally hated my (yes!) beloved son is really quite too many for a loving mum 😒😵
If I was your son....I'd obey you to the max! Everyday, I come home from school and the 1 st thing I'd do, is give you my phone...don't want any distractions, then I do my homework, then all the chores for that day, which must be done to my your satisfaction. Then I'd do whatever s
You tell me to do with no back talk or arguing!
Hated is an extremely strong word.
Just the awareness of these issues is very very valuable.
Staying ahead of them is key bc simply you've been young before. I explain to my son that he should know the WHY of his actions. If he doesn't then I layout the rewards and consequences until he understands.
this guys knows the drill pretty well
If you havent said no in a while, youre doing it wrong. Even if you want to say yes and theres no harm in letting them, say no if you havent lately. Make sure your kid has some idea how the world works AND how to cope with it before he leaves the nest. Its your job not to be liked sometimes. You are not friends.
I could never dislike my little guy… but I am struggling with my coparent/ partner on the parenting and being able to set boundaries
I really appreciate your advise Jordan. Thank you.
I love Jordan's brain and work. However, I am not sure about this sole view upon raising children. I am still figuring it out with my step son who is 9, is highly intelligent but also has issues due to abuse as a young child.... Trauma I say makes the whole issue way more complex
Roman Jansen yes, it does make a difference.
Alice Miller and Jesper Juul.
Has anyone else had a child who never really was bold? Since my son was born he was very close to me and we always worked as a team. I have always explained stuff to him and I never had any real issues. Maybe bad advice but try to understand stuff from your child's point of view and think If I was 2 and I was asked to do this what would I think. So when u children say can we stay in the playground for another 2 mins then say yes but 2 mins later remind them and leave.
Good on you, I hope you are a team for many years to come even when his hormones go crazy he’ll always know your there
“Don’t let your kid do something that would make you not like them.” That should not be the standard by which we judge what we should or shouldn’t let our kids do. We are teaching them right and wrong, and how to be a good person in the society in which they live. If there was nothing wrong with what they are doing, but you just don’t personally like it, you are the one who should change.
I love all the "absolute advice" from parents in the comments below. The down-to-earth truth is that it'd be nice to use patience and love to raise your children, and a stern voice with power when you don't have the time to kindly explain why your child shouldn't run into the street.
I don't judge parents for not doing the above though. Some kids don't learn that way, at all. Some kids want to throw their toys at other kids faces, and if all their toys are soft, they'll find a brick. Some kids learn by rote, so you just make them do the right thing like their chores. Some kids learn by watching you, so you write out letters while they do the same. Kids are little people, and people are as complex as anything any of us can imagine.
YES!!!!! THIS GUY SPEAKING TRUTH AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Discipline hurts for a second. Not being disciplined hurts for your whole life.
Dr Peterson would be revolutionary in the Asian and Eastern societies regarding his ideas on parenthood, if he would ever travel out of the Western circuits where he normally speaks.
Omg, yes!
@Jammy joe true
Us humans bear a grudge about bad social moments all too well. We should do it more like many animal mothers: when the child does something bad, make VERY sure it knows it did something bad and only discipline it right IN the situation, as the child won't make the connection between consequences and any of its related bad behaviour that you might be referring back to. Besides that, NEVER use firm language as that would water out the power of your disciplining voice. By standard, show love to your child and keep giving it examples of the kind of loving interactions it should learn to cultivate. The first years are key and as JP beautifully says, if the child gains the right attitude towards people, the world will open up to it and people will make valuable connections to the child.
Thanks JP and Jocko!
Thanks for the validation! This parenting philosophy is not widely accepted but I am grateful that there are still people who believe in it.
Wow - that is some hard hitting truth.
Thank you for this wonderful advice.
Discipline is necessary if you want your child to be a decent, functioning human being that can contribute to society in a meaningful way.
My mom hit me with the Belt, i got in line right away
@@HerMetabolism You must be really fun at dinner parties.
If only more parents knew this stuff.
Everyone should listen to this mans amazing insight. If you're resonable it all makes sense.
Dude, he’s such a smart man. He speaks how I think about things.
Mate, with all due respect, you don't think like a clinical psychologist and philosopher who's been doing this for over two decades.
@@alexmcdreamy9936 you don’t have to be either to be a deep thinker. I’ve always been a philosophical person.
To see jordan and the bugatti owner do a podcast🙏🏻
From someone who doesn’t have children but will consider in the future. How does one deal with a child having a temper-tantrum at the supermarket? I see a lot of parents mainly ignoring them and letting their tantrum fade out... Would that be the correct thing to do, any useful insights?
Jip Pl Wrong.. You take them outside, some place boring and dull, then you let them sit there. And sit there. and sit there.. until they are ready to behave again.
I love kids ..but i couldn't eat a whole one
Some are not that big, seriously. Measley little fellas
Thanks for this! Sending to all my "gentle parenting" mom friends!
Gentle parenting is not the equivalent of permissive parenting, or even lack of discipline. The whole point of gentle parenting is to discipline children in a calm and gentle manner, there's nothing in this video that is contrary to that philosophy.
"Spare the rod..." is mostly taken out of context to justify physical punishment of children. Really it's referring to the rod of a shepherd who guides his flock, not a rod used to hit a person.
My point is that if someone is letting their child call the shots and labeling their non-parenting as "gentle parenting" they are very sorely mistaken. They're not parenting at all, but they found a label that - on a very shallow understanding - justifies their unwillingness to discipline. So they use it and give the rest of us a bad name.
He's right. Whatever you WANT to think, the point is you are the adult and you are supposed to guide your child. With correct discipline, love and encouragement. If you wouldn't stand for someone else's child acting a certain way you better make sure your child is not either. You can do it lovingly yet forcefully. Children don't understand calm direction at times. They are trying to go through you to see if you stop them. Be a parent. They'll have friends all their life. Only 2 parents if they're lucky. Parent isn't a title bestowed on idiots who spit out kids. It's earned dammit.
Children are a lot like puppy dogs- they need structure, attention, and plenty of exercise.
Every time my dad smacked me (maybe twice in my life), I never did whatever made him mad ever again
One time my brother kept annoying me constantly for like an hour poking, pushing, disrupting what I was playing with, punching, jumping on me, until I kept screaming at the top of my lungs to go away. My dad whacked me believing I was the source of the problem. I learned to avoid my brother. For those who want to jump in and say oh your brother wanted to play with you! stealing toys and punching isn't playing.
By time we were teenagers I grew fully 4 inches taller then my older brother and I was stronger. I am just a lot bigger then him, but not until we hit teenage years. He stopped with the random punching and bullying me, and I paid him back by terrorizing every potential girlfriend he ever brought home.
@@rustyscrapper well, I'm sure your revenge on your brother only made the relationship with him even worse. I wouldn't have gone with revenge. Just stand your ground when necessary. Expect him to come back at you in the most subtle way.
Too bad he didn't teach you non-violent communication, there is no excuse for hitting children.
@@nustada he is the best father one could wish for. My mum did worse than a slap across the face but my dad and her are the best parents in the world. They sacrificed everything for me and my sister and work like mad to give us the best life. My sister and I don't deserve even half of them. If your child acts like a spoilt, filthy-mouthed, disrepectful brat, a smack ia necessary.
Misleading title. This doesn't tell you how to discipline your child, it tells you why you should. Which is still valuable information, but not the same thing.
He does tell you how, listen to it again :) never let your child do something that would make you dislike him, listen closely to that part
True liberty has boundaries
Perception is reality. People don’t understand that they have a problem, and I like how he touched base on this. If you don’t see that you have a problem you can’t really change or understand what you need to do to fix it. I understand that I have a bit of an anger problem and can easily resort to my baser instinct even with my child. Me and my wife have been working hard on this problem. We have had long talks about how to discipline our daughter when she comes of age to be disciplined. What we have come up with is, if we are to spank our daughter it is NEVER to be full forced and we are NOT looking to take our anger out on a child. As Jordan has said we are adults, a lot bigger and stronger than a child. When spanking it should be enough to get our daughters attention, NOT to release or satisfy our anger. 3 spanks on the butt and never slap. When you use violence on a child they will learn that when you get upset it is ok to use violence.
I was looking for some kind of an answer to the question posted with this video ( “ how to discipline your child “). Bait and switch?
Thanks Jordan! U need to know u are inspiring a generation that was taught to believe everything u are against u should just shut up and accept the new norm. Keep questioning the new norm. 🙏👌
This was confusing grammatically, what are saying?
Thank you a well reasoned Why to discipline, and you’re accurate and correct.
Revenge? That is scary. If a child has a temper tantrum and you take it so personally and you don't stop and address it right there and then lie to yourself that the child what? Had the control to manage himself?. Then you are going to take REVENGE? That just sounds evil. Get some education! When say the child comes back to you (in an attempt to reconnect ) it is your responsibility to put integrity back before rejecting the kid. Parent Effective Training education is available. Revenge on a child or other is horrible. Recognize it and stop it. We are all capable of such crap but we can go from survival mode to thrive mode.
Talk to my wife?
Good one.
weak
Totalavulsion hit her from the back and she will listen to you. That guy downstairs can easily control her bahahah
Hmm... so, if the kid acts more unruly at home than outside (say, the school), what does this mean?
irurouni it means they understand the social constructs outside of the home but once their home it’s there chance to not adhere to the social constructs that’s been forced on them
irurouni it means that you’re not disciplining them at home. Do you have some expectations for them that you’ve clearly explained, like picking up their stuff and putting it away? Do you expect them to quietly do their homework at the desk or kitchen table? Do you expect them to help with setting the table or clearing it after dinner? Do you expect them to be reading an age appropriate book in the evening and NOT just watching TV or doing phone stuff? Do you ask them about school at the dinner table to know what’s going on with them and to learn about whatever challenges or problems they may b having at school with other kids, teachers or completing assignments? Do you expect them to be respectful, responsible, helpful and kind..... and if they aren’t, find out why if they’re older ... oh and don’t feed them junk and expect them to be calm.... pasta, bread, and sugar ( including fruit and juice) are not helpful. Freshly cooked meat, fish chicken and vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower and squash and spinach are whole food that are going to serve them.... crockpots and the Instant Pot as well as grilling steaks can make this easier to do. But don’t confuse packaged, processed food with real food. One will help you and the other won’t.
@Rickie j that's a scenario I see often. I often see kids getting chased around with knives by their moms LMAO
It can also mean that they've been completely overwhelmed by the day and now that they're in a safe place they can unravel.
When my children start misbehaving at home, I think about how to ease the pressure on them. Maybe drop out of piano lessons for a while. Possibly they need to stay home from school for a day. Say no to the party invitation, have a boring, minimal screen time, stay at home weekend, etc.
That almost always fixes it. Children and families today are pushed to be too busy, and when they start acting strange, it's my signal to hit the brakes.
I've listened to JP talk about raising kids a lot - however, how do you avoid your child getting run over by other kids that are though? I mean kids are though... you don't want your child to be bullied or anything like that, having to go through that is pure hell and affects your overall life and health.
Take your kid to a boxing gym or something, all bullies are cowards
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The main model for our children’s socialization needs to be done by the trusted adults in their life. Mainly mom, dad, and grandparents. Do not leave that job to their peers. Kids are not equipped to teach these skills to other kids. If you want a child that is tolerable to be around then you need to model it. If they get away from you before they have developed the proper level of confidence in themselves, then they will slip into bad habits that reflect the type of behavior that their minor peers deem appropriate. That is not a standard to want your children to live up to. The bar is lowww.
This might be my favorite JP clip
Thank you professor.
Wow. Not tooting any horn here by any means. Seriously I am an idiot at 50 years of age... but somehow ... looking back, as I raised my son from the early age of 18,apparently, I knew this stuff and applied it. That being said, he was one of those "old souls", born to the world and not a lot of convincing or cajoling was really required of me but still...I recall thinking this way and applying this to my rearing of him. I always saw him as a person and treated him as such. My expectations of him were that he be kind and conscientious, hard working and respectful and I tried my best to treat him that way as an example. Children are just small, immature people after all? I recall, as a little girl feeling disrespected and underestimated at times. I did not want my son to feel like that ever. Not by me at least and not by others in my presence. He was a soul. Worthy of and having the ability to be respected and respectful. Aren't we all???
Man, JP is such a wise man. He knows his stuff.
Is that you in the photo
I love your pic, I can’t grow a mo and that smile
I found if behavior became an issue I would take time for a one-on-one afternoon adventure, Always good results. Sometimes it was not my kid and the sign in one such case was an increasing stutter.
Does anyone know the title of the book that Peterson is talking about at the begining of the video? Thanks ^^
12 Rules for Life
What do you do to help the kids who are already cynical and draw everyones ire?
Would love to read your book please send it to me lol what’s the name of it ?
Restraints it’s called discipline not abuse and all kids need structure. We all need to be disciplined in a way. If not, it’s chaos and anarchy there needs to be order specially, with the kids to have honor and respect. How are you gonna learn it if you ain’t tight as a child it’s not like you don’t care you disciplining them shows how much you do when they grow up and look back on it they’re gonna be like wow I need to do that too. It helps out in the long run for a society to work. it’s also kind of like people getting mad at teachers pet when they should stop and look at themselves. Why do they feel this way like bullies that bully people when at home there’s something sinister and wrong and they’re not getting the help that they need so sometimes we need to stop and think it’s like kind of putting on someone else’s shoes that saying perception walking through the eyes of another and I don’t care to say it. I look up to Jordan Peterson, like a father figure. I’ve never had a father just abusers and that goes with parents like my mother, but don’t get me wrong. I care about my whole family even the ones that have wronged me because in life we all need to move forward and realize our problems so we can grow not dwell so I am no saint but I try to stay to what I believe in and away no one’s right or wrong. You have to solve it because a lot of things are always wrong and are hidden in the back it’s like he said. Get your life sorted out. so you can help out the ones around you that you care for that also means take care of yourself self-care isn’t being selfish because how are you supposed to care for someone if you don’t care for yourself so you take care of your mental health and physical when I was young, I thought I was invincible along with my older brother that I looked up to and he is gone so don’t try to take things for granted when you get upset identify what upsets you tell someone and don’t let them walk on you. There is a shirt that we can buy that says doormat, but all jokes aside. You matter it’s good to stick to a moral ethic a code me, love and peace to think about what I say before I say it and what I do before I do it, so don’t hold things this all kind of sounds like a rant but it’s just things I felt that I had to say and thanks to my man’s. He has helped me out of a dark place, so thank you Jordan Peterson.
Well by the way my child handles herself in the world and from your words I can say me and the wife are doing an ok job, not perfect (I have anger issues thanks to my father's drunken rage) but nobodies shooting for perfection. But with my anger I always apologize and tell her "that's not the way anyone should act including you or myself" and I also tell her when she gets a little older and meets boys to not accept anger like I sometimes show.
Issue one - you blame your anger issues on your father, while I'm sure it's partly true, and maybe genetic, it's also your fault and your responsibility to work on.
Issue two - your child is on the receiving end of your anger issues, grow up and learn self control.
Issue three - as a father you are supposed to be a role model, not teaching your child to avoid future partners like yourself.
Issue four - your username would imply you are a stoner but I hope I am wrong.
Issue five - while it's true that nobody is shooting for perfection, you should always shoot higher than what you are currently achieving and it looks like you're aiming pretty low.
I'm not trying to insult you here or call you a bad parent but I think you could do better and your child would benefit greatly from it, as well as yourself. I am by no means an expert on parenting but I just have to point out the problems that were embedded in your words. I genuinely hope I am wrong.
Integral to the point about teaching your child to avoid people like yourself in the future, you are subconsciously teaching your child to disrespect your wife - since she wrongly accepts your behaviour and chose you despite your issues. You are telling your child that their mothers choice of partner is flawed, and since your child is a genetic product of both you and your wife (I assume), that your child is also inherently flawed on a level beyond their control. You are also telling your child that the person they should be able to rely on for support is unstable and lacking in self control, which is a catalyst for anxiety.
The assumption that not many people are self-aware is generally true, in that they do look down on little ones. But who practices fairness or truth nowadays? Or how many feel the need to be fair? Not liking a child, who hasn't even been informed of the best engagement practices, is immature. I don't know how many adults exactly prefer the "GO-green-light" of principles to the gratification of their ego - even in adultsphere. You're more eager to clarify some stance as lack of understanding is spotted. (Should be even more present with kids). Whereas if understanding has occured & immature maneuvering starts, that's an incomplete development too, that can't teach ANYONE anything. A debate only makes sense up to the point of clarifying logical standpoints, but once all cards are in and still no improvement, well that's another problem... immaturity. Maturity is not equivalent to grown-up. Thus older immaturity can retaliate on newer one. Sad but common.
Disciplining a child start with the parent even before they get married....Digest that..
Well said 👏
It’s a very dark approach, this, “yeah right.”
jordan, you are either incredibly wise or a very average man with a gift for speaking. i am leaning to the former. i do love your politics however and your views on religion are thought provoking.
he doesn't but hey, he's religious, not Judaism and daddy state who gave the the biased education said that religious ones are bad
I agree. I've been startled to find myself seeing truth & reason in his talks & discussion despite the way he is ideologically framed. BUT I'm only seeing his intelligence prevail when he's being contrite & opposing the far left. When he has an open platform, he seems to contradict himself & quote hearsay as evidence.
He is both wise & good orator
What's the name of his book?
Itra Babekr 12 rules for life
Hitting your kids is the opposite of discipline. To teach discipline, you have to demonstrate it, not violate it.
I've come to so excitingly anticipate his "zero" whenever I know it comes X-D
So honest
LIFE is not so easy when you are alone imaging when you get married ,I had a tough time to raise my 2 kids and my wife was third kids .I alway said to my son waited t il your 18 and at 18 he went to a drug store with 2 guy that he did not know and commit a crime went to prison.Many years later he told me papa a good chance I was scared of you because I would still be in prison.I used to be scared of my mum and father and when my friends ask me to go and do bad things' alway said no and went home, if you do not have control of your child ,the child will control you like they control my wife when I was not there.
I love this man
Raising a kid is hard. I hope I don't screw it up.
Wish id learnt this 10 years ago
That’s absolutely true!!
I asume Child beatings or spankings are most certainly out of the question, because they do more long lasting harm than good.
Has Jordan ever advocated physically disciplining children? I would be interested hearing his take on that
I would see it like this. Why do people hit the screen when the computer doesn't do what they like? Because of ignorance, they have absolutely no clue how it works, and it won't work. There might be a coincidence that the computer would reset, and then work. But no hitting it will not fix it. It's like kicking a tyre becsue your car got a flat.
Good advice.
Spot on!
Is there really 140 people, at the time of this viewing, that cannot grasp what this brilliant man is attempting to convey? Seriously?