That is toxic, narcissistic, abusive, manipulative, reckless endangerment of your baby and yourself file for divorce immediately and get full custody of the child.
Take the kid and leave. He will treat you like a weak toy and do what he wants. He will treat you both like you have to become worthy to him. He and his mother are controlling. Get out before it gets worse
Divorce and get full custody with no visitation rights and tell the judge if he is being that way with you then he will do it to your child and put the child in danger because his doesn't believe in women's or girls health care rights
@@The_kent73You don't have to be a lawyer to know your own basic human rights. In fact, you should know we shouldn't need lawyers for every little thing. You should know your own basic rights
Go to the police, file charges. He held you against your will, refused to help you get medical attention. Those are crimes, get him locked up and make sure he never sees that baby again
Haha that’s a crime. You know that right? Refusing to help a pregnant and labouring woman to get medical care is both child endangerment and intent to harm a pregnant woman. It’s also a crime to basically imprison a human against their will so add that on top. Women can and have died in child birth. Although it was 39 weeks so not too bad, that was still early. Take your child, file for divorce, file for a restraining order, file a police report and file for full custody of your child. Publicly call out your (hopefully soon ex) husband and his mother and the doula for their crimes against you. Do not allow this to blow over op or I swear to you this will not end here. This is only the beginning.
Yeah, I'm just wondering on what you said, maybe this wasn't the husband first marriage and his previous wife/partner died in labour at a hospital..? It would make the most sense but still, it's a crime nonetheless.. *Disgusting and awful.*
@ZoeyLund anything 37+ weeks is considered full term. The baby is fully developed in most cases by that point. 40 weeks is the ideal. Anything before 37 weeks is considered preterm and premature.
Maybe he should be the one giving birth! He might change his mind about a home birth. On the other hand to let someone have that much control over you is questionable. You need to start thinking about what is right and safe for you and your baby. He obviously didn't.
That sounds like a psychopath. Im glad OP is still alive from that 3 day labor but she needs to get away from him. Report him to police and protect that kid. The fact that he still want kids is crazy.
Funny enough no, psychopaths are not more likely to be cruel or a danger then "nornal people" , most acts of violance, rape, genocides, war, domestic abuse, serial killings are all done by "normal people" the ability to disangage your empathy dependend on how valuable you regard someone is sadly a normal human trait. Clinical Psychopaphs are sick in the sense of their ability to chose freely how they interact with peoole is clinically impaired. Diagnosises should not be misused as insults especially since that leads to already vulnerable people, who are disproportionately faced with abuse, getting even more targetet, while people who chose cruelty on their own free will are offered an excuse claiming it is out of their controll
@@kristelneedtoknow3207yeah that part is ridiculous because even people who have home births in the modern world will go to the hospital afterwards because your baby has to be checked up. You have to be sewn up most likely and you have to get a birth certificate for your baby
Exactly. Making me question if this was not in the western country or something. The fact that everyone from the mother in law, to the doula did not respect her wishes and had no problem being blase about it and even smugly saying the 'we'll see' when she makes it clear she won't home birth again? Sooo chilling honestly and makes me question if this was in a place that women have the same rights and autonomy as men
I wouldve told the doola too if she doesnt call 911 and get her to the hospital, she WILL be sued. Dont worry about my husband. Hes about to become my ex and possibly in prison for kidnapping a pregnant woman...
You would've walked over and picked up the phone while in active labor and been coherent enough to make the call? You would've been able to fight off a man who's larger than you?
Still fighting after 8 wks of giving birth? WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM? The moment he said "we'll see" to you letting him know that you won't have another home birth, shows you he doesn't respect you or your feelings. God forbid anything we're to happen to you or the baby, he would hold that against you forever. Nah, sweetie, get your baby and leave. He doesn't care for you. He's just showing you that what he says is final and what you think is nothing.
He showed he didn't care about her wishes needs or matter of fact, life, WAY before that moment. That moment was a whole threat. His actions during the birth were criminal. He played with both lives.
OP should get far away from that monster. What he did was abusive, and dangerous. BTW, his mother's opinion has less than ZERO value in what will happen in the future.
I was wondering what the hell the doula was doing, the original post says active labor was 22 hours and the doula said she would have to go to hospital at 24 hour.
I doubt this person was certified by any real program. As a doula myself, everything that took place here was 100% a crime. At the very least, this is psychological abuse. Depending on what he did to keep her from going to the hospital, he could actually be charged, along with the doula, for unlawful detainment.
Hey, this is an abusive relationship. You were forced to do something against your will. Take your baby and get a divorce. And it was absolutely none of you mil business.
Absolutely not! You should have called the police and an ambulance! I would get away from that man as soon as possible and definitely NOT have another child or have anything to do with him again! He risked your life and that if your unborn baby!!!
YOU NEED TO RUN AND RUN FAR AND FAST. Any doula worth her license would NEVER listen to anyone other than the patient. And would never let you labor for three days. Your husband and mil have respect issues. You are just a vessel for children and not person in their eyes.
@@pinkdoobie I have them the benefit of the doubt because I thought they were at least certified. To know they have nothing, and let someone labor for three days at home, is just life threatening. These people weren’t even smart enough to find a midwife who does home births.
@@cherylwalrond454They’re “certified” by themselves. But you can’t sue one for malpractice or report them to a licensing board for unprofessional behavior.
@@pinkdoobiesome states have legislation for certification and licensing for doulas. It’s recent, give a few years or so. But with the ones that take it seriously and get certified would not risk their certification over behaving like this because doulas are liable for anything bad happening to mother and child.
Your the one who is giving birth not him. So your body your choice Edit: Thank y'all so much for the likes and replies Edit: wow 😂😂 so many replies and likes y'all thank you again 💕
Im indian, usually indians are keen on keeping marriages and relationships but girl, you NEED to diavorce him he is going to be abusive in the near future its only becoming more evident.
YOU CARRY THAT CHILD!!! YOU experience the morning sickness, the nausea, the diarrhea, the constant need to pee. YOU experience the uncomfortableness, the difficulty breathing, headaches, feeling full but hungry. YOU carry that baby for 9 months! YOU push that baby out of your body. YOU rip up while giving birth, you sweat, maybe even poop. YOU have to deal with postpartum...depression..pain..emotions you never knew existed!!! YOU BRING THAT BABY THAT NEW LIFE INTO THE WORLD!!! YOU DECIDE WHERE TO GIVE BIRTH AND HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHERE TO BE COMFORTABLE!!! NO WOMAN SHOULD OBEY THEIR MAN IF THEY FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!!! PERIOD
I’d bet the husband wouldn’t have allowed that. He’d have grabbed her phone if she had tried making the call. He’s probably watching her like a hawk now to make sure she doesn’t take the baby and leave.
Processe them for torture and mental distress... and get the doutor to testify ... and get a divorce! He does not respect you and your will.....The only opinion that matters is his and his Mother's ....he made it clear to you that you are irelevant. Só get a divorce....
Hes demanding more children, spoke over her, didn't give her the help she needed, picked family over her, made her extremely upset WHILE SHES CARRYING HIS KID@@mayli456789
@@mayli456789no, this is divorce worthy, this isn’t a just disagreement this is literally torture, she was in labour at home for 3 days, the last 22 was literally the most painful, and the husband didn’t listen to her even once, he definitely pulling something like this again with the ‘we’ll see’ comments, op need to dump him for her and her daughter’s safety, the man have no regard for her anatomy, let alone his daughter.
Self center people are people that are not able to put them selfs in others people shoose so... if they didn't learn that ability at the age of 20's do you realy think that they will be able to learn after???? Some flows in caracter are not mendable!!! @@mayli456789
Why on Earth would you stay married to somebody who completely kept you hostage for 3 days and made you give birth without any medical assistance whatsoever when that was never what you wanted, forget about having another child with him. I wouldn't spend another minute with him
she answered some stuff in the comments last time i checked her post but shes in a very cult-y part of the south so its really hard for her to leave. she also doesnt have family nearby
I call divorce.. if he could not respect her wishes as to what she wanted being that she’s the one carrying the baby and giving birth and having health risk then don’t be with him because he’s not the ones to be with he could’ve had a mother dead and too because of his selfish act
Why the heck did she or the doula not call an ambulance? It’s bad enough not to go to the hospital when she first goes into labor, but three days? Both the doula and the husband should be arrested
So ur telling me that this man made u have a home birth without ur consent and then has the audacity to say he wants another baby?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?! Divorce that man right now!!!!!!!!!!!
Manipulation. That's the reason. She probably feels that way because of his mother agreeing with him. So in her mind she's probably thinking "well since another woman is saying this should happen I'm probably overreacting". Which is just sad..
As a doula who loves home births and is more than happy to assist mothers at a home birth (or at a hospital, but I really do love home births more and statistically they are safer in my state), I am horrified at this story. This is not a home birth. This is a sick and twisted CRIME at one of the most vulnerable points in a woman's life. He could have actually been charged with unlawful detainment depending on the lengths he went to stop you from going to the hospital. I think you should still seek charges. If he took your phone from you so that you could not call 911 or did anything to interfere with you getting to the hospital, you can absolutely put him in jail. And you should. This behavior is totally unacceptable. Home births have been wonderful experiences for so many women that I know, but I would never in my wildest dreams imagine forcing one, let alone one without a certified midwife, on anyone. Under no circumstances should you allow this abusive, psychotic narcissist to go unpunished, let alone allow him back into your bed.
PS everyone saying she needs to leave him is missing the point. This is a crime and she needs to file charges. Against him, against the doula, and against the mother-in-law. Whoever was involved in her not getting to the hospital when it was time for her to give birth can and should be charged. Obviously, she should leave him. That is not far enough and she needs a paper trail of the abuse so she can get full custody.
That’s absolutely disgusting that he disregarded what she wanted with her own body putting her through that could be even life threatening for her and the baby adding to the fact he wants another and said “we’ll see” he doesn’t care about her or her feelings and nor will he with the child’s
“DIVORCED, beheaded, died, DIVORCED, beheaded, survived!” How does the man get a say in what kind of birth his wife has?! He can give advice but at the end of the day, whatever the woman feels comfortable and safe with is what goes! 😳😳
That is abuse. Plain and simple. You would likely be better off as a single mother. Make a plan, pack a secret getaway bag with all paperwork gathered (birth certificates, etc.). If you have a support who can help, reach out and let them know what's going on. Stay safe and I wish you well.
Two words. Divorce, and Custody. You're not wrong for feeling that way and he should've never done that to you. What he did could've killed you or your baby or worse both of you. Even if he did get a dula that doesn't justify robbing your choice and forcing you to do an at home birth
I hate it HATE IT when you draw a clear boundary with a partner and they say “we’ll see” this is the EXACT reason why I broke up with my last boyfriend I said I didn’t want kids because child birth scared me and he told me “we’ll see” the sheer disrespect and lack of empathy for the person who would be going through all that pain is disgusting you DO NOT GET TO CHOOSE Edit: fixing rage spelling
So to me it sounds like he’s talking a load of s/// your the one go through the pain and what if something went wrong also I think it’s your choise not his
Lady.... either get him to sign a written birthing contract that you want..or a divorce it's up to him to sign the one he can live with.Make sure you get EVERYTHING ON VIDEO!!!!!
And get multiple copies of any and all written documents, texts, and other correspondence and give the originals to a trusted friend or family member who won’t give them to your husband.
Divorce is the first thing I think of, a second baby is ridiculous. He showed you how much he values you and your safety and opinion. He cares much more of his mommy’s approval.
72 years old and I didn't know what a doula was. Harvard Medical describes it as "Birth doulas are not medical professionals, but they provide emotional and physical support to women during pregnancy and labor." Was this doula hired by the MIL? If so, she didn't have the mother-to-be's best interests at heart. That makes the whole thing so suspect and as others have commented, verging on the criminal. My sympathies for all that you have gone through. Time to protect your child and yourself.
She should have called 911 and told them her husband was refusing to take her to the hospital. It would provide amazing evidence to the courts during a potential divorce...
1) it's your choice where to havw your child. 2) if you're gonna do a home birth you need a good doula and midwife who will know when you have to go to the hospital. 3) Doulas and midwives are just as trained as doctors, but having a home birth means they do not have all the equipment necessary for an emergency. While they can handle most emergencies, something like being in labour for more than 24 hours (probably less, my moms a doula but I'm not trained like she is, I'm just going off what I remember from sitting in on her classes) is an emergency and a situation where the mother will ultimately HAVE to be brought to a hospital. Gross neglect on the doulas part in this case, and your husband and MIL need to be better.
Doulas and midwives are not “just as trained as doctors.” Doulas have no medical training. They aren’t even required to have a college degree. And most midwives at home births in the United States are not certified nurse midwives. They have no medical degree and they are not qualified to attend births in any other country with modern obstetric care.
That is toxic, narcissistic, abusive, manipulative, reckless endangerment of your baby and yourself file for divorce immediately and get full custody of the child.
Take the kid and leave. He will treat you like a weak toy and do what he wants. He will treat you both like you have to become worthy to him. He and his mother are controlling. Get out before it gets worse
He also sounds insane
Exactly this girly needs to be treated like a queen
@@iamcoolqwe123Official :p or just as equals is fine.
@@Chris-qp1mj why? does it bother you?
@@luc9108 no where all human beings we should be equal
Divorce and get full custody with no visitation rights and tell the judge if he is being that way with you then he will do it to your child and put the child in danger because his doesn't believe in women's or girls health care rights
R u a lawyer or smth!?
@@The_kent73What's the problem with suggesting divorce with this horrible man?!
@@The_kent73 persons a horrible person to MAKE his wife do something she doesnt want too. period. she should have a divorce.
My mom was home birthed and this shit still make more uncomfortable
@@The_kent73You don't have to be a lawyer to know your own basic human rights. In fact, you should know we shouldn't need lawyers for every little thing. You should know your own basic rights
Go to the police, file charges. He held you against your will, refused to help you get medical attention. Those are crimes, get him locked up and make sure he never sees that baby again
Hopefully the ob medical staff documented husbands behavior during appointments as well. Talking over the patient is a red flag for abuse.
Divorce + child support + SUE HIM
He put your life (and the baby's) at risk. This kind of control is highly abusive.
RUN!
It's from his jerk mother...I completely agree with you 👍
Haha that’s a crime. You know that right? Refusing to help a pregnant and labouring woman to get medical care is both child endangerment and intent to harm a pregnant woman. It’s also a crime to basically imprison a human against their will so add that on top. Women can and have died in child birth. Although it was 39 weeks so not too bad, that was still early. Take your child, file for divorce, file for a restraining order, file a police report and file for full custody of your child. Publicly call out your (hopefully soon ex) husband and his mother and the doula for their crimes against you. Do not allow this to blow over op or I swear to you this will not end here. This is only the beginning.
Yeah, I'm just wondering on what you said, maybe this wasn't the husband first marriage and his previous wife/partner died in labour at a hospital..?
It would make the most sense but still, it's a crime nonetheless..
*Disgusting and awful.*
39 weeks IS full term.
She is NOT wrong.Get one of those vests that allows a man to experience labor and make him wear it for three days.
@AryanBlitzkrieg-c7v 40 weeks is full term, thar is how long a pregnancy is on average
I know most people read the entire thing but to the people who didn't go back and read it yes it is a crime
@ZoeyLund anything 37+ weeks is considered full term. The baby is fully developed in most cases by that point. 40 weeks is the ideal.
Anything before 37 weeks is considered preterm and premature.
No! This is horrible! Divorce worthy even!
I feel like refusing medical care to your pregnant wife is 1000% divorce worthy!!!!
@@maddieg563 Exactly!!!!!
She should leave his ass
@mollyalathman619 for real that’s toxic af like SHE IS IN LABOR how are you not taking her to the hospital?!
Maybe he should be the one giving birth! He might change his mind about a home birth. On the other hand to let someone have that much control over you is questionable. You need to start thinking about what is right and safe for you and your baby. He obviously didn't.
That sounds like a psychopath. Im glad OP is still alive from that 3 day labor but she needs to get away from him. Report him to police and protect that kid. The fact that he still want kids is crazy.
Funny enough no, psychopaths are not more likely to be cruel or a danger then "nornal people" , most acts of violance, rape, genocides, war, domestic abuse, serial killings are all done by "normal people" the ability to disangage your empathy dependend on how valuable you regard someone is sadly a normal human trait.
Clinical Psychopaphs are sick in the sense of their ability to chose freely how they interact with peoole is clinically impaired. Diagnosises should not be misused as insults especially since that leads to already vulnerable people, who are disproportionately faced with abuse, getting even more targetet, while people who chose cruelty on their own free will are offered an excuse claiming it is out of their controll
Biggest red flag I've ever heard. Run, girl, run!
Not a red flag, a red parachute! Sounds like they're members of a weird "religion" to me!
WTF!!! 3 days!!! He wouldn’t last 10 minutes. I wouldn’t divorce him - but only because no one would ever find his body. 💀
Oh😀
I know a really deep hole in GA. Also, we went to the movies. I have family and friends who will vouch for us.
Real-
😅
Same 😃
I would have called 911 and said I'm in labor and he's holding me hostage by refusing to call.
Excatly, this right here . The fact that he held her hostage for what 3 to 4 day than didn't go to the hospital after the birth is crazy.
@@kristelneedtoknow3207yeah that part is ridiculous because even people who have home births in the modern world will go to the hospital afterwards because your baby has to be checked up. You have to be sewn up most likely and you have to get a birth certificate for your baby
Exactly. Making me question if this was not in the western country or something. The fact that everyone from the mother in law, to the doula did not respect her wishes and had no problem being blase about it and even smugly saying the 'we'll see' when she makes it clear she won't home birth again? Sooo chilling honestly and makes me question if this was in a place that women have the same rights and autonomy as men
I wouldve told the doola too if she doesnt call 911 and get her to the hospital, she WILL be sued. Dont worry about my husband. Hes about to become my ex and possibly in prison for kidnapping a pregnant woman...
You would've walked over and picked up the phone while in active labor and been coherent enough to make the call? You would've been able to fight off a man who's larger than you?
Still fighting after 8 wks of giving birth? WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM? The moment he said "we'll see" to you letting him know that you won't have another home birth, shows you he doesn't respect you or your feelings. God forbid anything we're to happen to you or the baby, he would hold that against you forever. Nah, sweetie, get your baby and leave. He doesn't care for you. He's just showing you that what he says is final and what you think is nothing.
I agree with you got damn he is a jerk for doing it dangerously
I would've left as soon as he refused to take me. Fuck that I would've called 911 and gotten the cops involved too
"we'll see" means he won't drive her to the hospital, won't allow her to go and won't let in the medical staff in if she calls emergency number
@@TsukinoUtokki YES! THIS!
He showed he didn't care about her wishes needs or matter of fact, life, WAY before that moment. That moment was a whole threat. His actions during the birth were criminal. He played with both lives.
Take your daughter and leave. File charges against him and anyone else that kept you from the hospital
OP should get far away from that monster. What he did was abusive, and dangerous.
BTW, his mother's opinion has less than ZERO value in what will happen in the future.
You are NOT wrong but you are ABUSED.
You should have reported the doula as they are supposed to have your best interest at heart and follow your wishes.
Not to mention a doula is supposed to have a licensed person as a backup anyway
I was wondering what the hell the doula was doing, the original post says active labor was 22 hours and the doula said she would have to go to hospital at 24 hour.
I doubt this person was certified by any real program. As a doula myself, everything that took place here was 100% a crime. At the very least, this is psychological abuse. Depending on what he did to keep her from going to the hospital, he could actually be charged, along with the doula, for unlawful detainment.
Running wouldn't be fast enough, leave early, this is a sign of the start of abuse.
*GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN.*
Divorce him, file a restraining order, press charges against him, his mother and the doula, file for full custody of your child and walk away
Sue them, divorce him and get away from them as far as you could...
Hey, this is an abusive relationship. You were forced to do something against your will. Take your baby and get a divorce. And it was absolutely none of you mil business.
Divorce him and take your kid now he's practically ruined your birthday experience and he will sabotage your birth control to get what he wants
It's sounds like he was trying to endanger her if she felt like something wasn't right that's what the medical reassurance is for
he sure ain't the one giving birth so who the hell is he to tell you where to have your child???
Absolutely not! You should have called the police and an ambulance! I would get away from that man as soon as possible and definitely NOT have another child or have anything to do with him again! He risked your life and that if your unborn baby!!!
The man isn't the one giving birth, so HE DOESN'T GET A SAY in the decision. Period
YOU NEED TO RUN AND RUN FAR AND FAST. Any doula worth her license would NEVER listen to anyone other than the patient. And would never let you labor for three days. Your husband and mil have respect issues. You are just a vessel for children and not person in their eyes.
Doulas don’t have licenses. They’re just birth hobbyists.
@@pinkdoobie I have them the benefit of the doubt because I thought they were at least certified. To know they have nothing, and let someone labor for three days at home, is just life threatening. These people weren’t even smart enough to find a midwife who does home births.
@@cherylwalrond454They’re “certified” by themselves. But you can’t sue one for malpractice or report them to a licensing board for unprofessional behavior.
@@pinkdoobiesome are uncertified. DONA provides certification.
@@pinkdoobiesome states have legislation for certification and licensing for doulas. It’s recent, give a few years or so. But with the ones that take it seriously and get certified would not risk their certification over behaving like this because doulas are liable for anything bad happening to mother and child.
Your the one who is giving birth not him. So your body your choice
Edit:
Thank y'all so much for the likes and replies
Edit: wow 😂😂 so many replies and likes y'all thank you again 💕
Exactly 👍
He doesn’t even know how it fells like when you give birth
Yes that is so true we need more people like you ❤❤❤❤
Yea. Some people just don't understand simple things🙄
@@Zoe-d7fhe didn’t do shit he commented on a UA-cam video
Im indian, usually indians are keen on keeping marriages and relationships but girl, you NEED to diavorce him he is going to be abusive in the near future its only becoming more evident.
3 days? That's absolute torture. We have technology to ensure safety, what if something went wrong?
YOU CARRY THAT CHILD!!! YOU experience the morning sickness, the nausea, the diarrhea, the constant need to pee. YOU experience the uncomfortableness, the difficulty breathing, headaches, feeling full but hungry. YOU carry that baby for 9 months! YOU push that baby out of your body. YOU rip up while giving birth, you sweat, maybe even poop. YOU have to deal with postpartum...depression..pain..emotions you never knew existed!!! YOU BRING THAT BABY THAT NEW LIFE INTO THE WORLD!!! YOU DECIDE WHERE TO GIVE BIRTH AND HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHERE TO BE COMFORTABLE!!! NO WOMAN SHOULD OBEY THEIR MAN IF THEY FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!!! PERIOD
Dude, I would have just called 911 for myself and told them that these crazy people are holding me captive while I'm trying to give birth 😅
I’d bet the husband wouldn’t have allowed that. He’d have grabbed her phone if she had tried making the call. He’s probably watching her like a hawk now to make sure she doesn’t take the baby and leave.
@@SilentDecepticonShe was there for 3 days. He had to sleep sometime.
That’s like similar to rape in my eyes that is a total unwillful violation of your body, if that was me I’d never let him see that child
More like assault or battery and imprisonment but I get where you are coming from
Processe them for torture and mental distress... and get the doutor to testify ... and get a divorce! He does not respect you and your will.....The only opinion that matters is his and his Mother's ....he made it clear to you that you are irelevant. Só get a divorce....
why are people so damn quick to say get a divorce. first they should try family therapy. im not saying what he did wasn't an A hole move
Hes demanding more children, spoke over her, didn't give her the help she needed, picked family over her, made her extremely upset WHILE SHES CARRYING HIS KID@@mayli456789
@@mayli456789no, this is divorce worthy, this isn’t a just disagreement this is literally torture, she was in labour at home for 3 days, the last 22 was literally the most painful, and the husband didn’t listen to her even once, he definitely pulling something like this again with the ‘we’ll see’ comments, op need to dump him for her and her daughter’s safety, the man have no regard for her anatomy, let alone his daughter.
@@mayli456789 She tried to explain her side for months, I don't think spending money to "save" the family is worthy at this point
Self center people are people that are not able to put them selfs in others people shoose so... if they didn't learn that ability at the age of 20's do you realy think that they will be able to learn after???? Some flows in caracter are not mendable!!! @@mayli456789
Immediate divorce, hes a walking red flag
"We'll see."?????!!!! Oh no honey WE'LL SEE you sign those divorce papers
The whole purpose of a Doula is that person is supposed to be the advocate for the mother. Bad Doula and bad husband.
Tell him When he births a baby, he can birth it wherever he'd like
Divorce and full custody. That man has no respect for women or personal boundaries. He deserves to be alone.
It's your body, it's your choice. Preference and instinct supersedes any "traditional" jargon.
He refused to give to medical assistance? You shouldn’t be arguing, you should call the police!
Why on Earth would you stay married to somebody who completely kept you hostage for 3 days and made you give birth without any medical assistance whatsoever when that was never what you wanted, forget about having another child with him. I wouldn't spend another minute with him
she answered some stuff in the comments last time i checked her post but shes in a very cult-y part of the south so its really hard for her to leave. she also doesnt have family nearby
@@namixless9732Did anyone recommend shelters for domestic abuse victims?
That definitely a rights violation and it could've ended tragically. Definitely report the doula and find a divorce attorney
Horrible husband and father. Endangering both of yall because he wanted a home birth....
Yeah it's time to press charges. Your husband is a predator.
RUN to a divorce lawyer!!
Your "husband & MIL don't care about your concerns means they don't care about you!!
Shes his brood mare and he is completely dismissing her as a human being. Hell no.
I call divorce.. if he could not respect her wishes as to what she wanted being that she’s the one carrying the baby and giving birth and having health risk then don’t be with him because he’s not the ones to be with he could’ve had a mother dead and too because of his selfish act
Exactly! (One of the few thorough responses to this reddit yet lol)
Leave him. Leave him, divorce him. You were in labor for 3 fucking days. You don’t need him
Divorce him, he’s a monster has no idea what is pain and the mother in law wants to be the boss and doesn’t care…. Avoid toxic people
Why the heck did she or the doula not call an ambulance? It’s bad enough not to go to the hospital when she first goes into labor, but three days? Both the doula and the husband should be arrested
So ur telling me that this man made u have a home birth without ur consent and then has the audacity to say he wants another baby?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
Divorce that man right now!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't understand those people: "AM I WRONG?" No honey, divorce him, oh my God
Manipulation. That's the reason. She probably feels that way because of his mother agreeing with him. So in her mind she's probably thinking "well since another woman is saying this should happen I'm probably overreacting". Which is just sad..
They abused and manipulated to think it is all their fault 😔
We'll see.
Tell your lawyer that when you file for divorce
As a doula who loves home births and is more than happy to assist mothers at a home birth (or at a hospital, but I really do love home births more and statistically they are safer in my state), I am horrified at this story. This is not a home birth. This is a sick and twisted CRIME at one of the most vulnerable points in a woman's life. He could have actually been charged with unlawful detainment depending on the lengths he went to stop you from going to the hospital. I think you should still seek charges. If he took your phone from you so that you could not call 911 or did anything to interfere with you getting to the hospital, you can absolutely put him in jail. And you should. This behavior is totally unacceptable. Home births have been wonderful experiences for so many women that I know, but I would never in my wildest dreams imagine forcing one, let alone one without a certified midwife, on anyone. Under no circumstances should you allow this abusive, psychotic narcissist to go unpunished, let alone allow him back into your bed.
PS everyone saying she needs to leave him is missing the point. This is a crime and she needs to file charges. Against him, against the doula, and against the mother-in-law. Whoever was involved in her not getting to the hospital when it was time for her to give birth can and should be charged. Obviously, she should leave him. That is not far enough and she needs a paper trail of the abuse so she can get full custody.
That’s absolutely unacceptable behaviour! Being strong would be leaving him!
That’s absolutely disgusting that he disregarded what she wanted with her own body putting her through that could be even life threatening for her and the baby adding to the fact he wants another and said “we’ll see” he doesn’t care about her or her feelings and nor will he with the child’s
If he really wants a home birth that badly. He can go get knocked up and carry a kid for 9 months.
Take your child and leave!
“DIVORCED, beheaded, died, DIVORCED, beheaded, survived!”
How does the man get a say in what kind of birth his wife has?! He can give advice but at the end of the day, whatever the woman feels comfortable and safe with is what goes! 😳😳
If he doesn't respect your decisions leave him he doesn't deserve you
You don't need another baby, you need another husband!
Or no husband
Divorce. Full custody. Sue for emotional distress or smth. He stole something thats supposed to be beautiful
Uuuuuh that's not a red flag, that's a whole warehouse of the whole red spectrum of flags, flag pins flag rugs, flag cups...
We need the red flag guy for this video
Don't just divorce him, have him arrested.
That is abuse. Plain and simple. You would likely be better off as a single mother. Make a plan, pack a secret getaway bag with all paperwork gathered (birth certificates, etc.). If you have a support who can help, reach out and let them know what's going on. Stay safe and I wish you well.
Good advice. No pre-talking as it might be dangerous, important things together and then fast exit and no looking back.
Two words. Divorce, and Custody. You're not wrong for feeling that way and he should've never done that to you. What he did could've killed you or your baby or worse both of you. Even if he did get a dula that doesn't justify robbing your choice and forcing you to do an at home birth
I hate it HATE IT when you draw a clear boundary with a partner and they say “we’ll see” this is the EXACT reason why I broke up with my last boyfriend I said I didn’t want kids because child birth scared me and he told me “we’ll see” the sheer disrespect and lack of empathy for the person who would be going through all that pain is disgusting you DO NOT GET TO CHOOSE
Edit: fixing rage spelling
Happy to hear he is your ex!
So to me it sounds like he’s talking a load of s/// your the one go through the pain and what if something went wrong also I think it’s your choise not his
Divorce him he’s crazy
You and the baby should be the top priority
ABORTION that’s what she said. I know you are not wrong for feeling like that.
That's got to be kidnapping or unlawful detainment or something... That's not legal!
Red flags all around. It’s your body not his. Divorce him.
Lady.... either get him to sign a written birthing contract that you want..or a divorce it's up to him to sign the one he can live with.Make sure you get EVERYTHING ON VIDEO!!!!!
And get multiple copies of any and all written documents, texts, and other correspondence and give the originals to a trusted friend or family member who won’t give them to your husband.
Divorce is the first thing I think of, a second baby is ridiculous. He showed you how much he values you and your safety and opinion. He cares much more of his mommy’s approval.
Girl have as many as you want. He doesn't get a say it's your body. He can't make that decision.
Divorce him runaway
If he’s going to control this medical decision, what other medical decisions will he control as well?
I’m appalled at your husband, his mom and the doula.
Divorce sounds like a plan
“we’ll see.” is despicable
3 days 3 DAYS WTF I'D SUE HIM
Girl!!! You're still with him after this???
Labour is hard but being in Labour for 3 days is torture especially when having your feelings and decisions ignored though its your body
So he kidnapped and imprisoned a pregnant woman in labor? And she's not going to press charges?
Girl run, that's insane.
Tell him that he can get pregnant and have a home birth.
Tell him that you would have been better off at the hospital.
You need to leave him ASAP
Call the police! Where you live!? I'll call the cops myself.❤
Damn right, I was gonna say the same thing. ✨
You could have DIED THERE IF SMTH WENT WRONG.
72 years old and I didn't know what a doula was. Harvard Medical describes it as "Birth doulas are not medical professionals, but they provide emotional and physical support to women during pregnancy and labor." Was this doula hired by the MIL? If so, she didn't have the mother-to-be's best interests at heart. That makes the whole thing so suspect and as others have commented, verging on the criminal. My sympathies for all that you have gone through. Time to protect your child and yourself.
Lol if my husband did this to me, I’ll have him arrested and divorced him.
Leave him, he ain't worthy to be a father if he is treating you like this since childrens looks at what parents are doing
She should have called 911 and told them her husband was refusing to take her to the hospital. It would provide amazing evidence to the courts during a potential divorce...
So when is the divorce?
After Listening to this,
I wanna divorce sm1
You are wrong for not calling him ex husband yet
Should have called emergency services and gone to hospital. Plus press assault and kidnapping charges.
No even a doula/midwife would call an ambulance after a certain amount of time
no you are the one giving birth not him he can’t say nothing NTA
also your body your choice
1) it's your choice where to havw your child. 2) if you're gonna do a home birth you need a good doula and midwife who will know when you have to go to the hospital. 3) Doulas and midwives are just as trained as doctors, but having a home birth means they do not have all the equipment necessary for an emergency. While they can handle most emergencies, something like being in labour for more than 24 hours (probably less, my moms a doula but I'm not trained like she is, I'm just going off what I remember from sitting in on her classes) is an emergency and a situation where the mother will ultimately HAVE to be brought to a hospital. Gross neglect on the doulas part in this case, and your husband and MIL need to be better.
Doulas and midwives are not “just as trained as doctors.” Doulas have no medical training. They aren’t even required to have a college degree. And most midwives at home births in the United States are not certified nurse midwives. They have no medical degree and they are not qualified to attend births in any other country with modern obstetric care.
DO YOU NOT HAVE A PHONE CALL 911 AND THEN LEAVE HIM. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT TIME HE WANTS YOU TO "BE STRONG".
Why is no one talking about the threatening “we’ll see” part 😬😬