Clay used AD for her emotional labor, the validation, the ego stroking etc. Clay never learned how to center anyone else's feelings. I dont even think Clay was even attracted to her. He only kept mentioning her body because that's all he valued from AD.
Seeing Clay with his dad, it all started to make sense to me. There's just a level of sheer admiration and respect Clay has for his father that I haven't seen in most father-son relationships on this show. To me, what Clay struggles with is not whether he wants to take after his father (he clearly does) but how he can reconcile those feelings with his internal desires to be a faithful husband. "The gray area" of marriage that Clay references is not actually a gray area (cheating = bad), but Clay needs it to be gray; otherwise, he'd have to question the high esteem/regard in which he holds his father. Given all of this, Clay's decision to say no at the altar seems fairly predictable to me.
Clay has Stockholm Syndrome. The fact that Clay’s father thinks himself a great father and states on the show is sad. The father made his son’s day about him🙄. Clay told everyone his father’s secret because he’s been gaslighted all his life by his father and reveals his own reality to the world. Clay’s father traumatized him. Clay’s father lacks boundaries. Until Clay deals with the wound he shouldn’t be dating at all.
This reminds me of one of my grandfathers. He wasn’t a faithful husband, left my grandmother after decades together, moving in with his girlfriend without warning while she was out of town (which, thankfully, I was only told about when I was mature enough to handle such an awfully traumatic story). He didn’t (couldn’t?) acknowledge the impact of his choices. Like Clay, some children and grandchildren felt great admiration for him until the end. I don’t understand it, but then again, I’m blessed with healthier male role models in my life who embody loyalty, love and accountability.
What triggered me the most with Clay is how self centered is seems to be. Even when he talks about his love for AD, it's about him. "I love her because she loves me, she accepts me" etc etc. But what about her though? What does he like about her for her? It must be draining for a partner.
💯 I noticed this too. He literally likes her because she likes him. It’s because he’s insecure / unstable / anxious. Insecure people tend to be drawn to people who want them, rather than who they want because they are drawn to things that make THEM feel secure and validated. The moment you stop validating them or you become distracted with something else (children, career etc) they move on and find someone else to validate them.
Clay is not cute... and he is so self centered, immature and his father is a cheating fucboi but he seems to idolize him... what would even be the draw? AD, I just don't get it
My grandma was never good enough for her mom, my mom was never good enough for my grandma, I was never good enough for my mom. I took conscience of it and the minute I found out I was having a girl, I took the conscious decision to be the opposite for my daughter. She is 15 today and I don’t think we could be closer. ❤
Never understood why my mother praised, and reassured me so much. Always saying how beautiful and intelligent I was. Until I became an adult and realise how awful her mother was to her. Thank you for breaking generational trauma! I am with my daughter what my mother was to me ❤
AD telling Clay she thinks she doesn’t deserve love is one of the worst things you can do. That’s like giving a 5 course luxury meal to a poor man. Dudes a player. Players live to take advantage of women who have very little or poor images of love and self love and respect. My thought is, shoot if you dont think you’re worth it why would I?
Thank you! I’m so sick of unhealed adults mindlessly having children and passing down their traumas. I’m 35 and child-free because I do NOT want to bring a child into this world if I am not ready. Having children should be a privilege for those who can actually care for them, not a right. I’m also mostly talking about people worse than Clay’s dad.
Clay knows that if he „opens up“, AD is EATING it up, so that is what he does. I feel it‘s a manipulation tactic he unconciously does. He likes being liked and he is very good at sensing what people like and just leans into that. That‘s also what he likes about his father: how „suave“ he is, how much he is liked, how much attention he can get. He celebrates that his dad can talk up anyone and is always „the center of attention“. As long as he seeks that external validation he will never really be „self-aware“ or be able to be in a commited relationship.
This is so sad. I want her to want better for herself. I felt bad at the end but seeing this clip by clip recap really reminded us that he has never been dishonest about who he truly is deep down. I want all of us to see this in people and choose better for ourselves.
Something people are missing about Clay is that he looks up to his father and he thinks his father is his role model. The cheating and running around in the streets lifestyle is very attractive to him and he wants to be a playboy 😑
Clay is really messed up, but you know what, he actually has a surprising amount of self-awareness. It's like, he doesn't do enough to try to change/improve, but at least knows where his issues are.
Excellent video! I have been AD as well. When you feel less than, you give more than your partner in hopes that they will value you and appreciate you for pouring into them. But in most cases, they take everything you give and You end up depleted and not appreciated! The more she gave, the more he took and he did not reciprocate!
Your analysis tops all youtubers casts. I hope AD sees this, very beneficial. In addition you offer solution to the historical patterns and wounds, most just offer buzz words and criticism. Appreciate you & your wisdom. Please keep it up.♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆
I really appreciate your breakdowns because you keep their humanity in the forefront and you don’t seem judgmental at all…I feel like I learn so much from this channel and I thank you for providing these insights!
Agreed. Most reviews of the show are bashing the contestants and while that is entertaining (and I consume it), it’s refreshing to see a more humane take.
This was the best breakdown of these two I've seen so far. They're both incredibly superficial people who used each other for validation. It looks worse for AD because she got left at the altar but she was only with Clay because he needed her and that made her feel useful and he was very attractive to her. I've been there so I get it but she wasn't into who he was as a person either. Just what he represented. And obviously he just wanted to be wanted. Both were a mess.
Clay's dad makes excuse after excuse. He's proud that Clay is t in a healthy relationship. In his mind "like father like son" and he feels not so alone with his son following his sad footprints 👣. He needs prayer 🤲🏼 a-snaps
Firing on all cylinders as usual Dr. Cherie. I gave so many snaps and uh huhs watching this. No really, well done, and I hope AD sees this. I think it would help her.
Okay, this is my second viewing your synopsis of Love is Blind Season 6 and again, I get clarity - REAL clarity listening to you. I felt bad for both of them because I could see that there was something they both wanted but what it was they were not able to ascertain in time for marriage and it is better to take your time to discover that. I felt Clay not saying “I do” when he proposed, but I feel that he really wants something real, he just doesn’t know what it is or what that even looks for him in his life, especially going on dates WITH YOUR FATHER AS HE CHEATS ON HIS MOTHER! Who does that???? That is selfishness like none other and Dad was so busy doing his thing that he never realized how his decisions have made lifelong issues and trauma for Clay. Girl, I am going to have to schedule some time with you! You are WAY ahead of so many on this platform! Excellent again!!
Te is my lowest function as well. I can see what you said about telling of our boundries and what we need takes a lot of extra effort. But lately, and with the help of these kinds of shows and your interpretations, I have been able to ask/request in a way that allows my needs to be heard (instead of felt - as an FE dominate). We love you Cheri! Please dont stop 🙌 Thank you for giving practical application to "trash tv" that we all cannot look away from 😅
I feel like Clay would say things that he felt would satisfy the viewers or the producers of the show. I can tell he wasn’t genuine when he said certain things to AD.
I feel so validated. My friends all liked Clay and I’m like, “How?” Every thing you pointed out was a red flag I saw. So thank you for making me feel like I’m not crazy.
I see myself so much in AD and her relationships, we’ve all been there. Thank you for your empathetic assessment and your insights on a path forward. It’s such hard work to break the cycle, but turning within and valuing yourself is key. ❤
This was amazing, very informative. I tried to explain Clay's pov about gaining weight to other people. But they were stuck on him saying he doesn't want a fat woman. He really has no filter and can't read a room for nothing. Great point on how Clay wanted to be with AD on his terms/timeline. Also how AD feels that she doesn't deserve love, so she chooses men that won't love more than she loves them. Going to subscribe now. 😊
Dr Cherie this is my favorite video so far maybe because like you said I have been AD in most of my relationships and it pained me to watch what happened to her. Your analysis was on point and it was also very helpful. Even if one fixa-ho like me watches it and learns how much healing she needs it's going to be a good thing. On the other hand seeing Clay's father was truly heart breaking, I have never seen a parent that would hurt his child that bad without even accepting the reality that they fucked up their life. It's painful to watch. I really hope that both AD and Clay will seek help and grow and learn from this.
I’m three minutes in and already see how much he would not make a good partner. I’ve learned it’s important to not make excuses for the people we are dating. Nobody will be perfect but if they aren’t actually working on those flaws you are signing up for a lifetime of stress and caretaking
I was surprised how your analysis of Clay was different from all other people, so I decided to check your profile. I could have used your services if I had seen your channel earlier. I was once like Clay, and took me 15 years to work on myself.
You are absolutely correct 💯 Self awareness is NOT enough..... I dealt with an ex like this. I fell for his "self awareness" on his toxic traits, but by the end of the day, he was still the same. True self awareness doesn't happen without the willingness and the activity of change
Okay I know I’ve said this several videos before, but this is my FAVORITE!!!! What excellent points you make. This is another gem and in my view, the best one. Such a deep analysis thank you Dr Cherie!!
In Dr Cherie's short, AD says she has worked hard for everything she has except love. If she puts that effort into her inside self, instead of or along with her outside self, she would be able to move right on past guys like Clay.
Excellent as always. You are the best. I get so much clarity on the decisions and path I have taken for my own life. It took me a long time to mature and “see reality” not make excuses, try to change or save the men I chose to entertain. I am free and content like this lets me know I am on the right path! Bravo! Encore! I need more content!
Also clay is doing the „hatch“ thing. Saying all the right things that AD wants to hear, but always leaving a little hatch. Just in case he needs to leave and still claim „I told you all along“. „I love you, and I want to be with you! But i sometimes doubt myself“ then 2 months later the hatch is opened: „I told you I had doubts, that am not ready yet, why are you upset now?“
Ma’am you need to work for Love is Blind! You should be the one who selects the contestants, using your expertise. Of course they can still throw in some train wrecks for entertainment purposes, but there needs to be a better selection process as far as the men go…..
Exactly! People forget these are real people, the drama is fun to watch but watching this show concept be successful would be more entertaining. The fact that only one or two couples find genuine love and everyone else is here for money and fame isn’t fun to see anymore I can’t lie.
@@joanna0988 the show would have been more interesting if people were paired better. I would have enjoyed watching Jessica & Jimmy live together and Chelsea & Trevor as well. They weren’t paired correctly but if they were the interactions they had on the show might have been more authentic…
@@SugiesCookies I think people say that but wouldn't actually watch. I've seen so many comments of people saying they fast forwarded through all of Amy and Johnny's scenes and wedding.
Dr Cherie's words at the end of this video are simple and full of wisdom. The information is not new, but remains in the head and is mostly not practiced. The most difficult people to work with, in my independent practice, are those with years of therapy. Thank you for a most interesting analysis and beautiful voice.
Excellent video, you called it. I commented more than once saying, clay loves his mom the best he knows but he admires his no good dad. Bottom line what is seen in this family is what you see in MOST black families! People always want validation from those they feel rejected by. Again, great perspective!
It's something with the psyche, that sparks a need for approval from those we feel rejected by. It takes a conscious effort to not go to the place AD went to. He basically told her he wasn't that into her but she painted her nails red!
Wished AD would've gone with her first annoyance with him mentioning "the physical" which is not what show is about. He was such a crowing rooster. You're right, he told her who he was, then tried to roper her back in - I feel just to be on TV. Yes, he wants all the reassurance; but won't provide any for her. He already wanted therapy - no more fixers ladies please.
I am ENTP and my ex was INFP and i can honestly say, what you said about Fi and Ti together is very true 😂 he could not handle my bluntness and it was essentially our downfall
Both Ad and Clay have the awareness now is the time to do something else. If they don't believe in themselves they will continue to be in the same situation with different people.
What clay did is a generation spirit seed that was sold between black men and women in this country( USA). To never love one another, to pain in the heart of a black woman. Our race need prayers
It's really good to master the art of Not Giving a F*ck. When you can stare a dude straight in his face and give an apathetic, "K" when he's giving you his run around he'll either be relieved to be "released" and you didged a bullet of a life with a coward or he will become infuriated and turn the tables, "OH so it's like that then huh? You never loved me if you can let me walk away so easily! Good thing I didn't give my heart to you, now that I know that you never cared or you'd be trying to get me back but nothing! You're just totally cool with never seeing me again! I always get my heart stomped on by heartless women like you! This is exactly why I am guarded and stay single, because of loveless women like you!" They are baiting you into saying, "No!!! I do love you!! Please stay let's work this out I do love you I'm just trying to be strong and let you walk away if that's what you feel is beat for you!! I just didn't want to make you feel guilty if I started crying and got all choked up I didn't want you to feel preasured or think I was trying to be overly emotional to guilt you into staying!! Please I do love you I want to fight for you, for us!!!" Then the guy feels his ego is stroked and he goes, "I'm sorry, but I see now how badly I affect you and I don't think it would be healthy for you to be with me. I thought you were a strong independent woman but now I see your true colors, look at yourself you are falling apart and you know I can't handle a woman who can't keep herself together during stressful situations. I need someone I can count on who will be my rock. You let your emotions dictate your decisions. I'm not like that." So you go back to shutting down and be stoic, "Okay then." The guy goes, "OH so it's like that huh? You're just gonna shut down on me and never talk to me again just because I was honest with my heart and told you I don't think we're right for each other? So you're just going to hate me and be petty and bitter about this for the rest of your life? You're so immature! Grow up! Thank God I didn't end up with a woman like you!! Well goodbye I'm blocking you now!!!"
Clay used AD for her emotional labor, the validation, the ego stroking etc. Clay never learned how to center anyone else's feelings. I dont even think Clay was even attracted to her. He only kept mentioning her body because that's all he valued from AD.
I agree. Never once did he say “you’re beautiful”. Never once did I feel like he cared enough for her to even propose.
💯
and AD bragged about wanting to fix him up
A LOT of men are like this
You are so correct! And AD needs to learn that doing MORE for people who treat you LESS, will validate them BUT exhaust You!
Seeing Clay with his dad, it all started to make sense to me. There's just a level of sheer admiration and respect Clay has for his father that I haven't seen in most father-son relationships on this show. To me, what Clay struggles with is not whether he wants to take after his father (he clearly does) but how he can reconcile those feelings with his internal desires to be a faithful husband. "The gray area" of marriage that Clay references is not actually a gray area (cheating = bad), but Clay needs it to be gray; otherwise, he'd have to question the high esteem/regard in which he holds his father. Given all of this, Clay's decision to say no at the altar seems fairly predictable to me.
Clay has Stockholm Syndrome. The fact that Clay’s father thinks himself a great father and states on the show is sad. The father made his son’s day about him🙄. Clay told everyone his father’s secret because he’s been gaslighted all his life by his father and reveals his own reality to the world. Clay’s father traumatized him. Clay’s father lacks boundaries. Until Clay deals with the wound he shouldn’t be dating at all.
whew. well said.
He seemed terrified of his father to me
His dad is a 🤡 . All he had to talk about it was running track and how far he went with his achievements on clays wedding day. Like for real?
This reminds me of one of my grandfathers. He wasn’t a faithful husband, left my grandmother after decades together, moving in with his girlfriend without warning while she was out of town (which, thankfully, I was only told about when I was mature enough to handle such an awfully traumatic story). He didn’t (couldn’t?) acknowledge the impact of his choices. Like Clay, some children and grandchildren felt great admiration for him until the end. I don’t understand it, but then again, I’m blessed with healthier male role models in my life who embody loyalty, love and accountability.
What triggered me the most with Clay is how self centered is seems to be. Even when he talks about his love for AD, it's about him. "I love her because she loves me, she accepts me" etc etc. But what about her though? What does he like about her for her? It must be draining for a partner.
Because he had to do it for his father. This is love to him. He had to accept his father’s BS cheating and egotistical ways.
Yes!!
💯 I noticed this too. He literally likes her because she likes him. It’s because he’s insecure / unstable / anxious.
Insecure people tend to be drawn to people who want them, rather than who they want because they are drawn to things that make THEM feel secure and validated. The moment you stop validating them or you become distracted with something else (children, career etc) they move on and find someone else to validate them.
You just described my ex 😢
Clay is not cute... and he is so self centered, immature and his father is a cheating fucboi but he seems to idolize him... what would even be the draw? AD, I just don't get it
“She’s not ALL DAY, she’s SOME DAY” *mic drop*
My grandma was never good enough for her mom, my mom was never good enough for my grandma, I was never good enough for my mom. I took conscience of it and the minute I found out I was having a girl, I took the conscious decision to be the opposite for my daughter. She is 15 today and I don’t think we could be closer. ❤
So beautiful! I wholeheartedly resonate ❤
This is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! ❤
Never understood why my mother praised, and reassured me so much. Always saying how beautiful and intelligent I was. Until I became an adult and realise how awful her mother was to her. Thank you for breaking generational trauma! I am with my daughter what my mother was to me ❤
This is beautiful! So glad you broke the abuse cycle
Great.
AD telling Clay she thinks she doesn’t deserve love is one of the worst things you can do. That’s like giving a 5 course luxury meal to a poor man. Dudes a player. Players live to take advantage of women who have very little or poor images of love and self love and respect. My thought is, shoot if you dont think you’re worth it why would I?
Thank you! I’m so sick of unhealed adults mindlessly having children and passing down their traumas. I’m 35 and child-free because I do NOT want to bring a child into this world if I am not ready. Having children should be a privilege for those who can actually care for them, not a right. I’m also mostly talking about people worse than Clay’s dad.
Real talk a lot of people shouldn’t even be dating until they work on themselves.
Lol so you gonna work hard your whole life just to leave everything to the government?! Hahahahaha. Enjoy love.
^Idiot who missed the point above me
@@SugiesCookiesyou sound like you’re projecting.
I’m sick of dating based on “potential “ or what we look like on paper.
Clay’s mom is stunning!
Her convo with Clay's dad took my breath away. She's the one that Clay should be in awe of, not his dad who has so much work to do on himself.
I actually gained more respect for Clay after seeing what kind of mother he came from. So classy, wise, beautiful.
Clay knows that if he „opens up“, AD is EATING it up, so that is what he does. I feel it‘s a manipulation tactic he unconciously does. He likes being liked and he is very good at sensing what people like and just leans into that.
That‘s also what he likes about his father: how „suave“ he is, how much he is liked, how much attention he can get. He celebrates that his dad can talk up anyone and is always „the center of attention“.
As long as he seeks that external validation he will never really be „self-aware“ or be able to be in a commited relationship.
This is so sad. I want her to want better for herself. I felt bad at the end but seeing this clip by clip recap really reminded us that he has never been dishonest about who he truly is deep down. I want all of us to see this in people and choose better for ourselves.
This! ⬆️
Absolutely!
Something people are missing about Clay is that he looks up to his father and he thinks his father is his role model. The cheating and running around in the streets lifestyle is very attractive to him and he wants to be a playboy 😑
Absolutely most men love to cheat n know that the woman will wait for him despite his cheating
All I hear is me me me from Clay. AD just agreed with no rebuttal. These two bonded over trauma.
I love how angry you get talking about Clay's dad. 🙌
I can’t imagine the string of broken hearts behind him while he is grinning from ear to ear.. 🙄
@@rachellerockelusually how the story goes sadly.
@@Diarrheagodyes but it’s gotta be a lonely, hollow existence. i don’t know if he’ll ever know real love tbh. you can’t receive what you can’t give
Clay is really messed up, but you know what, he actually has a surprising amount of self-awareness. It's like, he doesn't do enough to try to change/improve, but at least knows where his issues are.
A lot of narcissistic people seem like they do... but it never means enough for them to change.
@@Zamstein yea. Narcissics are super emotionally intelligent.
@MonaLisaFace I have never met a narcissist that would be this vulnerable and honest about his flaw on international TV.
It is not enough. Listen again, this part is very important - 18:53 till the end.
AD and Clay are both self aware but don’t seem ready or willing to change
Excellent video! I have been AD as well. When you feel less than, you give more than your partner in hopes that they will value you and appreciate you for pouring into them. But in most cases, they take everything you give and You end up depleted and not appreciated! The more she gave, the more he took and he did not reciprocate!
The relationship is so one sided. I've been where she was as well
Hearing her say she doesn’t deserve love, she keeps doing so much for men, she’s never chosen, was so heartbreaking 💔
Your analysis tops all youtubers casts.
I hope AD sees this, very beneficial.
In addition you offer solution to the historical patterns and wounds, most just offer buzz words and criticism. Appreciate you & your wisdom.
Please keep it up.♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆
Dr. Cherie kills it every time 💯
Agreed. I hope Clay sees it as well. They both could benefit immensely, I think.
I really appreciate your breakdowns because you keep their humanity in the forefront and you don’t seem judgmental at all…I feel like I learn so much from this channel and I thank you for providing these insights!
Agreed. Most reviews of the show are bashing the contestants and while that is entertaining (and I consume it), it’s refreshing to see a more humane take.
The dysfunction in Clay and AD relationship, goes far beyond what was displayed on this show. Still an amazing analysis of this couple. Well done!
First comes self awareness and then comes self worth. I love that thank you ❤️
This was the best breakdown of these two I've seen so far. They're both incredibly superficial people who used each other for validation. It looks worse for AD because she got left at the altar but she was only with Clay because he needed her and that made her feel useful and he was very attractive to her. I've been there so I get it but she wasn't into who he was as a person either. Just what he represented. And obviously he just wanted to be wanted. Both were a mess.
THE BEST love is blind commentary!
He seems not present - like he feels like an actor in a movie
You know..I always felt like he was playing a character at times
I agree and feel the same
@@MamasDoingtheWorkit's a narcissic specialty. Acting.
@@dwmusic147 well, it is scripted.
I felt the same
Clay's dad makes excuse after excuse.
He's proud that Clay is t in a healthy relationship. In his mind "like father like son" and he feels not so alone with his son following his sad footprints 👣.
He needs prayer 🤲🏼 a-snaps
He straight up used AD for free therapy sessions let's be real...
...and sex
And sex
Firing on all cylinders as usual Dr. Cherie. I gave so many snaps and uh huhs watching this. No really, well done, and I hope AD sees this. I think it would help her.
Great message - we have power not to pass our trauma to next generations and do better for our kids 💪💪
Okay, this is my second viewing your synopsis of Love is Blind Season 6 and again, I get clarity - REAL clarity listening to you. I felt bad for both of them because I could see that there was something they both wanted but what it was they were not able to ascertain in time for marriage and it is better to take your time to discover that. I felt Clay not saying “I do” when he proposed, but I feel that he really wants something real, he just doesn’t know what it is or what that even looks for him in his life, especially going on dates WITH YOUR FATHER AS HE CHEATS ON HIS MOTHER! Who does that???? That is selfishness like none other and Dad was so busy doing his thing that he never realized how his decisions have made lifelong issues and trauma for Clay. Girl, I am going to have to schedule some time with you! You are WAY ahead of so many on this platform! Excellent again!!
Unbiased, grounded, and fair analysis. I even learn a lot about myself through your videos
Oh gosh, i would have fallen for Clay's tricks. That's how I know I'm not ready for a relationship.
I agree
Te is my lowest function as well. I can see what you said about telling of our boundries and what we need takes a lot of extra effort. But lately, and with the help of these kinds of shows and your interpretations, I have been able to ask/request in a way that allows my needs to be heard (instead of felt - as an FE dominate).
We love you Cheri! Please dont stop 🙌
Thank you for giving practical application to "trash tv" that we all cannot look away from 😅
Your analysis and editing are wonderful❤️ You should have millions of followers🤩
I feel like Clay would say things that he felt would satisfy the viewers or the producers of the show. I can tell he wasn’t genuine when he said certain things to AD.
As if he had been doing it his whole life. His dad laid on the praise so thick. You can imagine Clay would do anything to get that praise growing up
I feel so validated. My friends all liked Clay and I’m like, “How?”
Every thing you pointed out was a red flag I saw. So thank you for making me feel like I’m not crazy.
I see myself so much in AD and her relationships, we’ve all been there. Thank you for your empathetic assessment and your insights on a path forward. It’s such hard work to break the cycle, but turning within and valuing yourself is key. ❤
This was amazing, very informative. I tried to explain Clay's pov about gaining weight to other people. But they were stuck on him saying he doesn't want a fat woman. He really has no filter and can't read a room for nothing. Great point on how Clay wanted to be with AD on his terms/timeline. Also how AD feels that she doesn't deserve love, so she chooses men that won't love more than she loves them. Going to subscribe now. 😊
Your love is blind and reality tv show coverage made me finally subscribe 😂
Dr Cherie this is my favorite video so far maybe because like you said I have been AD in most of my relationships and it pained me to watch what happened to her. Your analysis was on point and it was also very helpful. Even if one fixa-ho like me watches it and learns how much healing she needs it's going to be a good thing. On the other hand seeing Clay's father was truly heart breaking, I have never seen a parent that would hurt his child that bad without even accepting the reality that they fucked up their life. It's painful to watch. I really hope that both AD and Clay will seek help and grow and learn from this.
I’m three minutes in and already see how much he would not make a good partner.
I’ve learned it’s important to not make excuses for the people we are dating. Nobody will be perfect but if they aren’t actually working on those flaws you are signing up for a lifetime of stress and caretaking
Absolutely top notch analysis 👌🏾 On point with every single observation and so perfectly and thoroughly explained!
Loved this! My hope is that both Clay and AD seek therapy! They both need it. And yes I’ve been AD too.
AD, you dodged a bullet honey.
maybe. but she’ll walk into another one if she doesn’t love herself.
I kept refreshing and wondering if I missed the notification! I love your channel and the way you talk about these couples. I learn a lot!
I was surprised how your analysis of Clay was different from all other people, so I decided to check your profile. I could have used your services if I had seen your channel earlier. I was once like Clay, and took me 15 years to work on myself.
You are absolutely correct 💯 Self awareness is NOT enough..... I dealt with an ex like this. I fell for his "self awareness" on his toxic traits, but by the end of the day, he was still the same. True self awareness doesn't happen without the willingness and the activity of change
Okay I know I’ve said this several videos before, but this is my FAVORITE!!!! What excellent points you make. This is another gem and in my view, the best one. Such a deep analysis thank you Dr Cherie!!
In Dr Cherie's short, AD says she has worked hard for everything she has except love. If she puts that effort into her inside self, instead of or along with her outside self, she would be able to move right on past guys like Clay.
You went in!!!! The analysis is sooo on point!
"AD get in that motherfucking gym" meanwhile he's missing a whole ass side tooth.
It’s always the ones the missing side teeth that have the most audacity
@@girl-gx2lsand that dough boy belly, while expecting fit and friendly ladies!
Jessie Woo sees everything 😂😂😂
I feel so validated, I feel you have described me and my past relationship
Powerful Session. Great Therapy.
Yes, he is an ESTP and she is an ISFP. It makes sense. I love this video. 😄😆
This is a great presentation! Great job integrating the clips to this!
Loved this! Dr. Cherie is the best when it comes to these reviews!
Excellent as always. You are the best. I get so much clarity on the decisions and path I have taken for my own life. It took me a long time to mature and “see reality” not make excuses, try to change or save the men I chose to entertain. I am free and content like this lets me know I am on the right path! Bravo! Encore! I need more content!
Always love your insightful videos thank you Dr!!
Also clay is doing the „hatch“ thing.
Saying all the right things that AD wants to hear, but always leaving a little hatch. Just in case he needs to leave and still claim „I told you all along“.
„I love you, and I want to be with you! But i sometimes doubt myself“ then 2 months later the hatch is opened: „I told you I had doubts, that am not ready yet, why are you upset now?“
This was a wonderful review. I’m just like AD 😢. I decided im going to preserve my dignity and love myself more this year.
Ma’am you need to work for Love is Blind! You should be the one who selects the contestants, using your expertise. Of course they can still throw in some train wrecks for entertainment purposes, but there needs to be a better selection process as far as the men go…..
But then we'd get all Johnny and Amy's and Cameron and Laurens which equals no drama 😂
@@joanna0988😂😂😂😂😂
Exactly! People forget these are real people, the drama is fun to watch but watching this show concept be successful would be more entertaining. The fact that only one or two couples find genuine love and everyone else is here for money and fame isn’t fun to see anymore I can’t lie.
@@joanna0988 the show would have been more interesting if people were paired better. I would have enjoyed watching Jessica & Jimmy live together and Chelsea & Trevor as well. They weren’t paired correctly but if they were the interactions they had on the show might have been more authentic…
@@SugiesCookies I think people say that but wouldn't actually watch. I've seen so many comments of people saying they fast forwarded through all of Amy and Johnny's scenes and wedding.
Dr Cherie's words at the end of this video are simple and full of wisdom.
The information is not new, but remains in the head and is mostly not practiced.
The most difficult people to work with, in my independent practice, are those with years of therapy.
Thank you for a most interesting analysis and beautiful voice.
I love what you said at the end about self love, right on point 🙌🏻
You NAILED this analysis. 💯
You have dissected this the best, in the shortest time. 💯 percent!
I love you insightful analysis.I'm always learning something about myself as i watch.Thank you❤
You are a gift to us all! Thank you for your insight, wisdom, and care.
There’s therapy and then there’s DrCherie. As Milton would say, “this is multidirectional calculus”
Excellent video, you called it. I commented more than once saying, clay loves his mom the best he knows but he admires his no good dad. Bottom line what is seen in this family is what you see in MOST black families! People always want validation from those they feel rejected by. Again, great perspective!
To be honest the AD type of women worry me more... They should be scared from men like this and she cries over him. Wrong.
Cries over them and runs full on in their direction.
It's something with the psyche, that sparks a need for approval from those we feel rejected by. It takes a conscious effort to not go to the place AD went to. He basically told her he wasn't that into her but she painted her nails red!
Wished AD would've gone with her first annoyance with him mentioning "the physical" which is not what show is about. He was such a crowing rooster. You're right, he told her who he was, then tried to roper her back in - I feel just to be on TV. Yes, he wants all the reassurance; but won't provide any for her. He already wanted therapy - no more fixers ladies please.
Right. She should’ve took that as a true reveal. Sometimes what people say off the cuff is truly what they mean
Awesome video, so much insight .
Dr. Cherie - you are THAT GIRL ✨✨✨ You ATE with this per usual. Bow down to the QUEEN DR. CHERIE TYPE 🗣️🗣️🗣️
Wow this was so insightful. I appreciate how you didn’t bash them as people, but provided profound analysis.
This was great. You got a new subscriber!!
Ms Lady, you are so easy to watch and understand. Thank you for your analysis!
Great, another UA-cam channel to spend all my time watching 😅 good stuff
Your insights are so helpful, thank you 😊❤
This video is so informative! Thank you so much Doc !
Love how you're giving more sarcastic opinions.
yes!! this one has been my favorite by far
I am ENTP and my ex was INFP and i can honestly say, what you said about Fi and Ti together is very true 😂 he could not handle my bluntness and it was essentially our downfall
Great content, love your breakdown of these two, esp as an infj drawn to estp’s.
Both Ad and Clay have the awareness now is the time to do something else. If they don't believe in themselves they will continue to be in the same situation with different people.
Thank you for the science behind it all. It was very helpful. I appreciate what you do. 🤗💕
So well done!
I’m someone that struggles with self worth. This was really helpful!! Thanks
The best anaylsis yet ❤
What clay did is a generation spirit seed that was sold between black men and women in this country( USA).
To never love one another, to pain in the heart of a black woman.
Our race need prayers
I learned so much from this breakdown.
Soooo happy you have done this pair!
Thank you for your insights 🌸
It's really good to master the art of Not Giving a F*ck. When you can stare a dude straight in his face and give an apathetic, "K" when he's giving you his run around he'll either be relieved to be "released" and you didged a bullet of a life with a coward or he will become infuriated and turn the tables, "OH so it's like that then huh? You never loved me if you can let me walk away so easily! Good thing I didn't give my heart to you, now that I know that you never cared or you'd be trying to get me back but nothing! You're just totally cool with never seeing me again! I always get my heart stomped on by heartless women like you! This is exactly why I am guarded and stay single, because of loveless women like you!"
They are baiting you into saying, "No!!! I do love you!! Please stay let's work this out I do love you I'm just trying to be strong and let you walk away if that's what you feel is beat for you!! I just didn't want to make you feel guilty if I started crying and got all choked up I didn't want you to feel preasured or think I was trying to be overly emotional to guilt you into staying!! Please I do love you I want to fight for you, for us!!!"
Then the guy feels his ego is stroked and he goes, "I'm sorry, but I see now how badly I affect you and I don't think it would be healthy for you to be with me. I thought you were a strong independent woman but now I see your true colors, look at yourself you are falling apart and you know I can't handle a woman who can't keep herself together during stressful situations. I need someone I can count on who will be my rock. You let your emotions dictate your decisions. I'm not like that."
So you go back to shutting down and be stoic, "Okay then."
The guy goes, "OH so it's like that huh? You're just gonna shut down on me and never talk to me again just because I was honest with my heart and told you I don't think we're right for each other? So you're just going to hate me and be petty and bitter about this for the rest of your life? You're so immature! Grow up! Thank God I didn't end up with a woman like you!! Well goodbye I'm blocking you now!!!"
wowowow this is incredible! thanks for the breakdown
14:34 that was hilarious as well as accurate 😂
You're spot on. I will say Clay just joined this show for clout.
Always so spot on. Such a grounded analysis
Dr. Cherry You are amazing!
This one made me cry😢
Excellent analysis
I just made a video about this. I agree with all the points you made and I love your breakdown! soooo good!
Awesome review very well articulated