I 💯 agree with Monica for withholding sex when Stephens said he felt unsure about marriage. Sex isn’t going to make someone want you more. Actually, it has the opposite effect. Do not give someone sex, if they’re not giving you reassurance
This! I really respected the way she was able to set that boundary and articulate that since she wasn't feeling safe with his wavering about getting married, she was not going to continue to sleep with him. Not to mention her demanding that Venmo-that was iconic!
The issue to me is not Stephen having kinks or being very sexual, it's the fact that he seems to talk about it A LOT, brings it up in inappropriate social settings, makes gross comments at weird times, and even when trying to be honest with what he wants he does ot in front of the cameras. I think he's obsessed in an unhealthy way.
He comes off as having ADHD because there's very little filter, poor impulse control and high need for stimulation/dopamine fueling activity. We know many men think about sex constantly but he doesn't seem to realize he doesn't need to blurt it out all the time. To me he lacks social etiquette more than being a sex addict.
"You start hurting each other just by being yourselves." Feel like we need that on a t-shirt and on paddle boards we can hold up while going through life!
Always look forward to your videos! Would love to see a breakdown of Tim & Alex. Those 2 were such an enigma for people but I wasn't surprised they ended how they did. If asked to describe their personalities I'd show a picture of their homes lol. It was a ride watching organized, principled, rigid Tim clash with oblivious, unorganized, nonchalant Alex. They were so sure they aligned on values in the pods (could have some to do with Tim losing his sister weeks prior and Alex being an ear for him - he does say 'listening' is his love language and maybe that endeared him to her) but boy were they entirely incompatible outside of them. Thanks again for these, they're always insightful!
Went on a date with a man like this and blocked him a few conversations in. He was very inappropriate too early and needed a serious level of validation. Scared me off. There is a sexual addiction at play here. Also as a POC woman I would never identify as a mutt.
I saw this couple as mostly having a MASSIVE gap in maturity level, Stephen read emotionally as someone in their early 20s, with the lack of steady job, the interest in novelty, the lack of tact in blurting things out.....and Monica seemed mature beyond her years.
Look how annoyed he is at her bringing up the flowers😅he's like, ugh, I chose you because you didn't hold me accountable when I told you I "hold the title" of cheater in the pods, this is unbelievable that you would wait until now to try to get me to take responsibility for things I've said. Great. Now I have no choice but to let those homewreckers in my DM's suck my d!ck because this is so disappointing
Stephen told Monica who he was. Monica didn't listen because she wanted to be married so badly. They were a mismatch from the begining. Monica has a fantasy idea of marriage. Marriage needs to be a place where you can share yourself without being shamed, something Monica wasn't able to do.
Her passive aggression was really getting to me, but then she’d follow up with direct aggression, which was interesting. But I felt bad for her in this situation, aside from all the cheating stuff-she told him what she needed and he couldn’t/wouldnt give it to her.
My main concern is that production deliberately puts women's safety in danger and profits off of women's humiliation. The show is about humiliation to women under the guise of "finding love" and playing off of a woman's vulnerabilities. It's absolutely horrid. The trauma that these women have to endure because of the failure to properly background check the males is so sickening.
I wasn't even particularly interested in this couple but WOW, what an insightful and multi-dimentional analysis! I'm unhappy to see that both Hannah and Stephen share my personality type ;) We are NOT sublte people, guys :D I'm also learning who not to date in order to avoid frustration.
I’m interested in all the couples but I REALLY want Tim and Alex. Eventually, I want Ashley and Tyler, but I want to wait because I think he’s being untruthful about his donor situation. All of the evidence is on social media or outside the show
The situation is weird because it started off as a sperm donor setup but then him and the woman started interacting without her partner knowing which led to a breakup. Then when the partner was fighting for custody he stepped in and claimed his paternity which created that child support payments claim situation. So I think he told the truth of how it started but not how the rest went down? Or maybe he told Ashley in private?
This is a great read. At first I felt bad for Monica but this breakdown showed that in many ways they were both responsible. Monica was not being realistic about the experience which created alot of pressure on Stephen. At no point in time was he ever pushing back because Monica had her mind made up before she got on the show. Stephen isnt a saint but in many ways their dynamic was not a healthy one.
Yes, and when he tried to voice his insecurities and confide in her that he was feeling overwhelmed, she immediately took it as an afront to her personally and got upset with him. She did nothing to make him feel safe/adequate or make sure his emotional needs were met. It was all about chastising him for all the things he was doing wrong and then tacking an "I love you" on the end.
I love your insights on personality and how it affected the participants of the love is blind show. Great work! A suggestion for you - perhaps pitch to love is blind to assess the participants on the show and map out their personality types. Then as dates progress and get more serious, the show can give couples the option to learn about their assessed personality type. I’m sure there are caveats to any ascribed personality type. The show can also give couples a one on one session where you can explain what ‘typically’ happens in the dynamics of relationships based on the different personality types. Overall, the goal would be to set up the couples for success, if they so wish to have such info. Just a thought. The show could benefit from it and people liking the outcomes more.
Stephen can initially come off as very mature, open minded, and understanding because he can be well spoken. But after a while, his words seemed shallow. The constant “you’re right” was empty.
When Monica said to Stephen ''I thought you were about to cry'', she seemed extremely uncomfortable and almost scared. I think if Stephen wants to break his ''cheater pattern'', he needs to seek a partner who is empathetic and able to face people's feelings with kindness.
If Stephen wants to break his cheating habits, he needs to invest in a shrink and really dig deep and find the root cause of his issues and make peace with that aspect of his life, so that he doesn't keep hurting people. Good and kind people deserve good and kind people, not betrayers.
I was wondering if you were gonna weigh in on this! Like you, I thought Stephen's cheating was essentially his way "out" since you could see the look in his eyes and hear some of the things he said in various scenes that he just wasn't feeling their dynamic and probably felt that he was not living up to Monica's expectations. Another creator on here, Jessie Woo, had a very different take that I've been thinking about. Rather than coming down on Monica for demanding flowers while they were on vacay, Jessie saw that as Monica holding Stephen accountable to the promises he made her in the pods. To me, that's an interesting take, but I felt like, GEEZ, they are in Cabo, maybe cut the guy some slack. But I can also understand how, given the accelerated timeline of this whole experiment, you need to be able to assess how someone's actions align with their words.
Here's the thing tho, even in the pods people were sending flowers and gifts to each other, meanwhile Stephen kept saying that while never doing it. That's very common amongst men to say the right thing but never follow thru. He is a perfect example of that, he had plenty of opportunity, he just never did it. That will most definitely present in other aspects of the relationship. He didn't even get her flowers when he proposed, which nearly every other guy did.
@joanna0988 it doesn't matter if it's his love language or not, if he isn't going to do it then don't say it. It's disingenuous at best, a straight up lie at worst.
@@free2trvl I never said it's fine that he didn't but he even told her his family didn't have money for gifts so it could be a sore spot for him that she has luxury accessory taste.
I just had trouble imagining how either of these people could find a compatible partner and a healthy relationship. I don't know if that's because, as you suggest Dr Cherie, that these two types end up bringing out the worst in each other and that's what we saw...both of them at their worst? But I found Monica insufferable prior to when Stephen behaved so hurtfully towards her. I never thought they stood a chance of making it work from the start.
Fantastic video as per but there's one point i disagree with- I could have sworn Stephen is an ESTP. 🤔 I dont pick up on any Fi, he's a people pleaser and doesn't really have any strong values/tastes of his own. When he felt insecure he retreated into his Se Ti baseline. He comes across to me as lower Fe in his social interactions too, he's socially savvy when he wants to be, but plays up the goofy, horny, silly dude persona on purpose because it's provocative and gets a reaction from the people around him. That's typical tertiary/inferior Fe behaviour. Anyway, that's minor disagreement. Love that you're covering this season and cant wait for more of your input! 💛
Well presented video. Learned a lot about my tendencies, that are somewhat similar to Stephen's and l appreciate so much your thourpugh analysis of a shared sense of identity. Thank you, Dr. Cherie🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Stephen was 100% to blame for the end of the relationship. The cheating was an "easy" out for him, and it was despicable. That being said, Monica didn't like the person he was prior to that. I know that gifts are a love language, but I was honestly put off by the extent to which Monica seemed to be demanding gifts from Stephen. She was upset with him for not getting her flowers after they'd been together for a very short period. Maybe it's my love language bias seeping in, but I don't think people have the right to receive regular gifts from a partner the way they do quality time or even physical touch. Gifts can be nice and thoughtful, but Monica was making such a thing over it that my red flags were raised. Monica's comments at the night party (over Stephen talking to Garrett during the fireworks) were so passive-aggressive. She could never just say "I don't like when you do x because it makes me feel y". There was this assumption that Stephen was automatically in the wrong and just had to take the hint. Stephen was saying some weird things in his conversations at the party, but I think it was a symptom of feeling judged by Monica. He was trying to say that he felt inadequate, but despite his previous therapy, he still lacks the vocabulary and self-awareness to articulate that without sounding vulgar and crude. Stephen was certainly at fault for not voicing his own reservations about the relationship, and perhaps he lacks the self-confidence to confront Monica, believing that she would leave him if her were to call her out. Even so, I wish we had seen more natural introspection from Monica about the ways in which she was flawed.
I agree however I think he wanted to end it and was sloppy with his cheating on purpose. He didn't even try to fight for the relationship and then Monica was the one to reach out to him and mend things after the relationship was over.
I agree. He's to blame for the gross and cowardly way he ruined the relationship but she was not entirely innocent either. He did actually try to communicate that he was feeling overwhelmed and under pressure and she immediately started getting heated and annoyed with him. She gave him no space to voice his concerns and feel heard, instead making his insecurities an irritating and insulting afront to HER personally. She was good at communicating what SHE wanted but bad at hearing him out and making him feel safe, and like an equal.
I think you are biased. Flowers are maybe $10 and last a week. If it makes someone feel loved and seen what is the deal? Also He Promised. I think that you are missing out on how much someone’s word is worth. He showed his is worth less than dirt, Twice
@@FlayoraExactly, I think she was explaining her love language and how she wants to receive love. She said she doesn’t want to come off materialistic, she just wants to feel special and he ended up taking her to that flower art place
I like the takes here but at the same time want to remind everyone that one’s cognitive functions stack is not an excuse for poor behavior. Imo, if Monica was an ISFJ (best match for an ESFP according to cognitive functions), it still would have ended poorly, because Stephen objectively sucks. Several of his remarks across multiple episodes were gross and weird.
I 💯 agree with Monica for withholding sex when Stephens said he felt unsure about marriage. Sex isn’t going to make someone want you more. Actually, it has the opposite effect. Do not give someone sex, if they’re not giving you reassurance
This! I really respected the way she was able to set that boundary and articulate that since she wasn't feeling safe with his wavering about getting married, she was not going to continue to sleep with him. Not to mention her demanding that Venmo-that was iconic!
The issue to me is not Stephen having kinks or being very sexual, it's the fact that he seems to talk about it A LOT, brings it up in inappropriate social settings, makes gross comments at weird times, and even when trying to be honest with what he wants he does ot in front of the cameras. I think he's obsessed in an unhealthy way.
He comes off as having ADHD because there's very little filter, poor impulse control and high need for stimulation/dopamine fueling activity. We know many men think about sex constantly but he doesn't seem to realize he doesn't need to blurt it out all the time. To me he lacks social etiquette more than being a sex addict.
Hes a Sex addict
I think he has a porn addiction
He also seemed to be trying to stealth his way into having a type of sex Monica clearly didn’t want i.e. ‘butt stabs’. Ugh👎
I think he is on drugs most of the time. He seems like he is high...on what- not sure.
Off topic but you are looking exceptionally beautiful Dr Cherie!
"You start hurting each other just by being yourselves." Feel like we need that on a t-shirt and on paddle boards we can hold up while going through life!
This is when I know a relationship/friendship needs to end but lots of people don't think it's a good enough reason to let it go 😩😩
Always look forward to your videos! Would love to see a breakdown of Tim & Alex. Those 2 were such an enigma for people but I wasn't surprised they ended how they did. If asked to describe their personalities I'd show a picture of their homes lol. It was a ride watching organized, principled, rigid Tim clash with oblivious, unorganized, nonchalant Alex. They were so sure they aligned on values in the pods (could have some to do with Tim losing his sister weeks prior and Alex being an ear for him - he does say 'listening' is his love language and maybe that endeared him to her) but boy were they entirely incompatible outside of them.
Thanks again for these, they're always insightful!
Went on a date with a man like this and blocked him a few conversations in. He was very inappropriate too early and needed a serious level of validation. Scared me off. There is a sexual addiction at play here. Also as a POC woman I would never identify as a mutt.
It kind of shocked me when he called her a mutt & she readily agreed. It would’ve been a red flag for me.
She let alot of things slide.
I saw this couple as mostly having a MASSIVE gap in maturity level, Stephen read emotionally as someone in their early 20s, with the lack of steady job, the interest in novelty, the lack of tact in blurting things out.....and Monica seemed mature beyond her years.
Monica is not mature. The passive aggressive jabs and obsession with luxury gifts are not traits of a mature persona
Dr Cherie.. you’re brilliant and objective. Very balanced analysis on cheating not the usual lingo - narcissist, once a cheater, etc
Monica and Stephen, Marissa and Ram, and Alex and Tim/Drake are the ones I'm most curious about.
Thank you Dr. Cherie! Very insightful as usual.
Not Tyler and Ashley?!! The "sperm" donor 😅
We gotta have Tyler and Ashley completely lied about the donor situation
Look how annoyed he is at her bringing up the flowers😅he's like, ugh, I chose you because you didn't hold me accountable when I told you I "hold the title" of cheater in the pods, this is unbelievable that you would wait until now to try to get me to take responsibility for things I've said. Great. Now I have no choice but to let those homewreckers in my DM's suck my d!ck because this is so disappointing
So true 😂😂😂
What a tool 😂😂😂
😂😂
Stephen told Monica who he was. Monica didn't listen because she wanted to be married so badly. They were a mismatch from the begining. Monica has a fantasy idea of marriage. Marriage needs to be a place where you can share yourself without being shamed, something Monica wasn't able to do.
Your videos are so interesting and it's refreshing to get the interpretation without the judgement
Her passive aggression was really getting to me, but then she’d follow up with direct aggression, which was interesting. But I felt bad for her in this situation, aside from all the cheating stuff-she told him what she needed and he couldn’t/wouldnt give it to her.
And didn’t communicate that he didn’t want to/ wouldn’t give it to her.
My main concern is that production deliberately puts women's safety in danger and profits off of women's humiliation. The show is about humiliation to women under the guise of "finding love" and playing off of a woman's vulnerabilities. It's absolutely horrid. The trauma that these women have to endure because of the failure to properly background check the males is so sickening.
I agree. I find it irresponsible to put many of these men in an intentional dating pool. So many of them are toxic.
Sure but aren’t the women toxic too?
I wasn't even particularly interested in this couple but WOW, what an insightful and multi-dimentional analysis! I'm unhappy to see that both Hannah and Stephen share my personality type ;) We are NOT sublte people, guys :D I'm also learning who not to date in order to avoid frustration.
I’m interested in all the couples but I REALLY want Tim and Alex. Eventually, I want Ashley and Tyler, but I want to wait because I think he’s being untruthful about his donor situation. All of the evidence is on social media or outside the show
The situation is weird because it started off as a sperm donor setup but then him and the woman started interacting without her partner knowing which led to a breakup. Then when the partner was fighting for custody he stepped in and claimed his paternity which created that child support payments claim situation. So I think he told the truth of how it started but not how the rest went down? Or maybe he told Ashley in private?
Yeah I just watched the video of the baby mama sharing the truth. Very sad. He completely lied
This is a great read. At first I felt bad for Monica but this breakdown showed that in many ways they were both responsible. Monica was not being realistic about the experience which created alot of pressure on Stephen. At no point in time was he ever pushing back because Monica had her mind made up before she got on the show. Stephen isnt a saint but in many ways their dynamic was not a healthy one.
Yes, and when he tried to voice his insecurities and confide in her that he was feeling overwhelmed, she immediately took it as an afront to her personally and got upset with him. She did nothing to make him feel safe/adequate or make sure his emotional needs were met. It was all about chastising him for all the things he was doing wrong and then tacking an "I love you" on the end.
Oh oops, I just saw the part of the video where Doctor Cherie covers that. Never mind
Nice to have a thoughtful analysis of these guys.
So helpful and interesting!! I would say they were the hardest couple to watch…but they weren’t even close. Keep em coming please ❤
I love your insights on personality and how it affected the participants of the love is blind show. Great work! A suggestion for you - perhaps pitch to love is blind to assess the participants on the show and map out their personality types. Then as dates progress and get more serious, the show can give couples the option to learn about their assessed personality type. I’m sure there are caveats to any ascribed personality type. The show can also give couples a one on one session where you can explain what ‘typically’ happens in the dynamics of relationships based on the different personality types. Overall, the goal would be to set up the couples for success, if they so wish to have such info. Just a thought. The show could benefit from it and people liking the outcomes more.
Stephen can initially come off as very mature, open minded, and understanding because he can be well spoken. But after a while, his words seemed shallow. The constant “you’re right” was empty.
Dr Cherie’s videos uploads feels like Christmas Day 🎉
I intended on skipping through the video, but I ended up watching the entire video.
Love your videos! Thank you for the time and energy put into them. ❤ helps me learn a lot about myself and relationships
When Monica said to Stephen ''I thought you were about to cry'', she seemed extremely uncomfortable and almost scared. I think if Stephen wants to break his ''cheater pattern'', he needs to seek a partner who is empathetic and able to face people's feelings with kindness.
If Stephen wants to break his cheating habits, he needs to invest in a shrink and really dig deep and find the root cause of his issues and make peace with that aspect of his life, so that he doesn't keep hurting people.
Good and kind people deserve good and kind people, not betrayers.
I was wondering if you were gonna weigh in on this! Like you, I thought Stephen's cheating was essentially his way "out" since you could see the look in his eyes and hear some of the things he said in various scenes that he just wasn't feeling their dynamic and probably felt that he was not living up to Monica's expectations.
Another creator on here, Jessie Woo, had a very different take that I've been thinking about. Rather than coming down on Monica for demanding flowers while they were on vacay, Jessie saw that as Monica holding Stephen accountable to the promises he made her in the pods. To me, that's an interesting take, but I felt like, GEEZ, they are in Cabo, maybe cut the guy some slack. But I can also understand how, given the accelerated timeline of this whole experiment, you need to be able to assess how someone's actions align with their words.
Here's the thing tho, even in the pods people were sending flowers and gifts to each other, meanwhile Stephen kept saying that while never doing it. That's very common amongst men to say the right thing but never follow thru. He is a perfect example of that, he had plenty of opportunity, he just never did it. That will most definitely present in other aspects of the relationship. He didn't even get her flowers when he proposed, which nearly every other guy did.
Ya it's not his love language so he probably just doesn't even think about it.
@@free2trvlthis is a good point, I hadn't even noticed that he didn't get her any when he proposed
@joanna0988 it doesn't matter if it's his love language or not, if he isn't going to do it then don't say it. It's disingenuous at best, a straight up lie at worst.
@@free2trvl I never said it's fine that he didn't but he even told her his family didn't have money for gifts so it could be a sore spot for him that she has luxury accessory taste.
I just had trouble imagining how either of these people could find a compatible partner and a healthy relationship. I don't know if that's because, as you suggest Dr Cherie, that these two types end up bringing out the worst in each other and that's what we saw...both of them at their worst? But I found Monica insufferable prior to when Stephen behaved so hurtfully towards her. I never thought they stood a chance of making it work from the start.
Yay! Love these!
Im so glad you chose to do this couple
Wait! Stephen used his sister’s DNA results for his own percentages?
I guess he doesn’t know that his percentages will be different than his sisters.
Especially if they don't have the same father 👀
Fantastic video as per but there's one point i disagree with-
I could have sworn Stephen is an ESTP. 🤔
I dont pick up on any Fi, he's a people pleaser and doesn't really have any strong values/tastes of his own. When he felt insecure he retreated into his Se Ti baseline.
He comes across to me as lower Fe in his social interactions too, he's socially savvy when he wants to be, but plays up the goofy, horny, silly dude persona on purpose because it's provocative and gets a reaction from the people around him. That's typical tertiary/inferior Fe behaviour.
Anyway, that's minor disagreement. Love that you're covering this season and cant wait for more of your input! 💛
Who cast these people? Stephen is a walking red flag. As is, he isn't right for anyone. Ick.
Chelsea from Season 4. She revealed at the Season 6 reunion that she was hired by Netflix to work in Casting
Well presented video. Learned a lot about my tendencies, that are somewhat similar to Stephen's and l appreciate so much your thourpugh analysis of a shared sense of identity.
Thank you, Dr. Cherie🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Cherie, I really appreciate your videos 🙏
He got on a show where the end goal is to get married and became unsure. Being a therapist would be hard because common sense isnt being used.
Interesting video, especially including the kink-talk. I was in a sub-dom relationship and my ex (M/dom) was an INTJ while I'm an INFP (F/sub) lol
Stephen is a child.
Marissa & Ramses next please
Stephen was 100% to blame for the end of the relationship. The cheating was an "easy" out for him, and it was despicable. That being said, Monica didn't like the person he was prior to that. I know that gifts are a love language, but I was honestly put off by the extent to which Monica seemed to be demanding gifts from Stephen. She was upset with him for not getting her flowers after they'd been together for a very short period. Maybe it's my love language bias seeping in, but I don't think people have the right to receive regular gifts from a partner the way they do quality time or even physical touch. Gifts can be nice and thoughtful, but Monica was making such a thing over it that my red flags were raised. Monica's comments at the night party (over Stephen talking to Garrett during the fireworks) were so passive-aggressive. She could never just say "I don't like when you do x because it makes me feel y". There was this assumption that Stephen was automatically in the wrong and just had to take the hint. Stephen was saying some weird things in his conversations at the party, but I think it was a symptom of feeling judged by Monica. He was trying to say that he felt inadequate, but despite his previous therapy, he still lacks the vocabulary and self-awareness to articulate that without sounding vulgar and crude. Stephen was certainly at fault for not voicing his own reservations about the relationship, and perhaps he lacks the self-confidence to confront Monica, believing that she would leave him if her were to call her out. Even so, I wish we had seen more natural introspection from Monica about the ways in which she was flawed.
I agree however I think he wanted to end it and was sloppy with his cheating on purpose. He didn't even try to fight for the relationship and then Monica was the one to reach out to him and mend things after the relationship was over.
I agree. He's to blame for the gross and cowardly way he ruined the relationship but she was not entirely innocent either.
He did actually try to communicate that he was feeling overwhelmed and under pressure and she immediately started getting heated and annoyed with him. She gave him no space to voice his concerns and feel heard, instead making his insecurities an irritating and insulting afront to HER personally. She was good at communicating what SHE wanted but bad at hearing him out and making him feel safe, and like an equal.
I think she locked into the flowers bc it represented him saying one thing and not doing it.
I think you are biased. Flowers are maybe $10 and last a week. If it makes someone feel loved and seen what is the deal? Also He Promised. I think that you are missing out on how much someone’s word is worth. He showed his is worth less than dirt, Twice
@@FlayoraExactly, I think she was explaining her love language and how she wants to receive love. She said she doesn’t want to come off materialistic, she just wants to feel special and he ended up taking her to that flower art place
I like the takes here but at the same time want to remind everyone that one’s cognitive functions stack is not an excuse for poor behavior. Imo, if Monica was an ISFJ (best match for an ESFP according to cognitive functions), it still would have ended poorly, because Stephen objectively sucks. Several of his remarks across multiple episodes were gross and weird.
DrCherie explains exactly that in “Why Even Compatible Couples Fail: Sabrina and Steven LIB UK”
As a man, you have to pretend you aren't thinking about sex all the time