When You Fall For a Man, This is The MOST Important Question to Ask

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  • Опубліковано 6 гру 2021
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 138

  • @PriNc3zZa19
    @PriNc3zZa19 2 роки тому +156

    Honestly I know the kind of love I provide. I clearly saw my ex boyfriend for what he is and am still in love with him. He even told me he liked I didn’t play games. We broke up over lack of effort on his part and miscommunication. I’ve learned love is a choice not a feeling so I had to move on since I know my worth.

    • @reenaree5616
      @reenaree5616 2 роки тому +3

      Yes. Men feel entitled to women and sex, they have big egos and they think women serve them. Not anymore, not in 21.century. We women know our worth. We are no longer being servants. We have our own money. Women are beginning to see how powerful they are. We are stronger than we think.

    • @travelchannel304
      @travelchannel304 2 роки тому +4

      Yes!! Its such a choice!

    • @Addease
      @Addease Рік тому +1

      Beautifully worded

    • @PriNc3zZa19
      @PriNc3zZa19 Рік тому

      @@Addease thank you

    • @rosegardens9701
      @rosegardens9701 Рік тому

      If it's not a feeling then why do we cry & feel broken for a,long time without that person that walked way ? I'm sure that's cause we have a strong feeling of love

  • @deepdiver849
    @deepdiver849 2 роки тому +42

    Every time he played ghost 👻 and returned , it made me focus on myself more. I used that to my own benefit. Now I don’t care about him, and my life is better. Thanks to him :) I used him as my catalyst for my own growth :) .

  • @toeareg100
    @toeareg100 2 роки тому +33

    I don’t agree that you know within 6 weeks if you love him (or if he loves you). 6 weeks is too short. That’s more infatuation than love.

    • @sarae819
      @sarae819 9 місяців тому

      I disagree. When you know, you know.

  • @CriticalMassAwakening
    @CriticalMassAwakening 2 роки тому +25

    Ugh, he hits me up randomly from afar telling me he loves me so much but rarely has the ability to reply to my messages and even disappears for days at a time online. I’ll trade consistency for the words any day.

  • @BelindaJoy
    @BelindaJoy 2 роки тому +121

    2:51 Absolutely! This is a lesson some women never learn. I now know 100% who I am and what I need and want in a man. I can't compromise on that criteria like other women can and do, because it wouldn't be healthy for either of us.
    IMO It's time to go when you are working to hard to keep him. When it is clear he is annoyed by you and he starts taking you for granted. When he is no longer your best friend. When you are happier alone than with him....just leave.

  • @lolasaysyes
    @lolasaysyes 2 роки тому +92

    It’s easier to fight for that imaginary perfect relationship than to accept the truth when someone isn’t a good fit. Unfortunately it’s hard to remember this advice when you’re emotionally involved. Solid advice as always, we can all use the reminder!

  • @Allesea159
    @Allesea159 2 роки тому +21

    'return him and get a different model' love it xD

  • @mariannebauman3410
    @mariannebauman3410 2 роки тому +58

    If you don't know if he really loves you,he doesn't bc you would definitely know if he did!

    • @davidthomspson9771
      @davidthomspson9771 2 роки тому +1

      Your wrong....you have no idea what a good guy goes through.

    • @rednail7904
      @rednail7904 2 роки тому

      What if its a long distance relationship and you’ve never met him?

  • @reenaree5616
    @reenaree5616 2 роки тому +26

    Girls, all you need is love and attention from yourself. No man is worth a struggle and harming yourself. You are worthy of your own love.

  • @MsWarriorchick
    @MsWarriorchick 2 роки тому +4

    “Return HIM and get a different model.”Okurrrr 👏🏾

  • @Xianne027
    @Xianne027 2 роки тому +27

    Sorry, but expecting someone to know whether they LOVE you in the first six weeks is nothing short of disfunctional. In that short of time you haven't had enough time to really get to know each other. That's still the phase of chemistry and infatuation.
    The first six weeks is the phase of LIKE, not LOVE.
    We learn that in psychology 101.

    • @marte1376
      @marte1376 Рік тому +1

      A man doesn't need more than that to know what he wants from you. Wake up. If he doesn't commit in the first 3 months, it will never go nowhere.

  • @cristinaxo
    @cristinaxo Рік тому +5

    In a sea of never ending free relationship advice YOU provide the most genuine, insightful, informative and useful info and advice. Well done!!

  • @martaewa1403
    @martaewa1403 2 роки тому +13

    ...I lost last 2 years imagining how he could be and waiting.....try to get rid of those WISHES

  • @prettyme3150
    @prettyme3150 2 роки тому +32

    "They mostly like whom he will become".....lol . That is so true. You are a deep thinker Brian. By the way, I love the way you present your message. Your style is way more unique than other relationship experts on UA-cam. 💕

    • @Mindsetolympics
      @Mindsetolympics 2 роки тому +1

      Honestly it is 100% unique I was amazed watching this video!!!

  • @cherylwade264
    @cherylwade264 2 роки тому +8

    This is an informative video that makes me think of the song "Lovely Day".
    1. Emotional intelligence is a good skill
    to have.
    2. Honest communication is nice.
    3. Fun flirting is good.
    4. Love Languages helps to avoid unnecessary guesswork and trivial miscommunication.

  • @jennyyang973
    @jennyyang973 2 роки тому +6

    💯 on point. Always be your true self and know your worth. Self respect and setting strong boundaries is everything.

  • @reneecaines9097
    @reneecaines9097 2 роки тому +47

    Awesome content Brian! When we know our worth and are secure in ourselves, partners that don't hit the minimum requirements become a turn off. When we are still looking to be "completed" by someone, we take the scraps. Know yourself and what you offer, and don't accept less. This doesn't mean being cruel or in their face about how much they need to improve, just acknowledge it, and make yourself busy without them.

  • @nashraaurin3052
    @nashraaurin3052 Рік тому +1

    Never seen anyone give such good good advices like brian. Love you for that

  • @DeirdreMFox
    @DeirdreMFox 2 роки тому +12

    Your the best relationship coach on youtube Thank you xoxo

  • @KnightGeneral
    @KnightGeneral 2 роки тому +14

    Just in time, Brian. Thank you!

  • @realroniyoungblood
    @realroniyoungblood 2 роки тому +9

    Wow! I really needed to hear this! I'm always afraid when I make the first move, and talk to my ex, but now I know, if I'm being myself that's all that matters!

  • @MaylingStudio
    @MaylingStudio 2 роки тому +14

    Really appreciate simple and logical advice like this

  • @jamiejackson1780
    @jamiejackson1780 2 роки тому +4

    LOVING THE SOUL!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾😍😍😍 this was EVERYTHING!!! Thank You 🙏🏾☺️

  • @karenmoncada2000
    @karenmoncada2000 2 роки тому +11

    You are absolutely right. Thank you for your videos!... they really help us, a lot. ♥️

  • @leonita2252
    @leonita2252 2 роки тому +6

    Thanks Bryan!, Deep and brilliant as always ❤️

  • @terrymondon7649
    @terrymondon7649 2 роки тому +4

    Brian, this video hits differently for me 😔😔. Thank you for all the work you put into your videos ❤❤🙏🏾🙏🏾🥰🥰

  • @adonisq
    @adonisq 2 роки тому

    Thank You So Much, Mr Nox. Really helps me to continue waiting.

  • @aprillajom
    @aprillajom 2 роки тому +2

    Falling in-love with their soul--indeed! Great video! Thank you ❤

  • @jorgelherreraojedis3614
    @jorgelherreraojedis3614 2 роки тому +2

    Thanks for your time and effort! 🌲😊💚

  • @TFireWolf
    @TFireWolf 7 місяців тому

    You are a gem. Thank you for your heart and wisdom. Much love to you!

  • @sayeedakhan5033
    @sayeedakhan5033 2 роки тому +4

    Great ending. Thank you, Brian

  • @yvethemetriccrafter688
    @yvethemetriccrafter688 2 роки тому +7

    Brilliant advice as always

  • @lisacody61
    @lisacody61 2 роки тому +1

    A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND BLESSED NEW YEAR TO YOU - BRIAN ❤

  • @tamaram915
    @tamaram915 2 роки тому +11

    This makes sooooooo much sense!!! 🤗

  • @miriamroe7374
    @miriamroe7374 Рік тому +1

    This was great and made a lot of sense! Thank you so much for this Video ❤️🙏🏻

  • @PJ-xl5hs
    @PJ-xl5hs 2 роки тому +4

    Love your work!

  • @metaphysicalmuse2773
    @metaphysicalmuse2773 2 роки тому +6

    Love your guidance and videos. 💜

  • @karenrudge4082
    @karenrudge4082 Рік тому +1

    Such great advice ... as always!

  • @bettyadkins4317
    @bettyadkins4317 2 роки тому +5

    They say in the beginning I'm what they want but yrs later. There not happy. Just players nvr happy with just one..better off alone tired of looking and heart break of trying and putting in the effort and getting nothing back in return😔

  • @springsesa
    @springsesa 2 роки тому +5

    This is very helpful.

  • @Lotna
    @Lotna 2 роки тому +2

    “Return him and get a different model.” 😂😂😂👍

  • @mc95
    @mc95 2 роки тому +2

    Simple truths that are gold information

  • @originalgoldengoddess
    @originalgoldengoddess 2 роки тому +2

    I'll definitely take this advice on board... not just in dating but also friendships. And you're right if they don't like who I really they were never meant for me to begin with. 💯 👏🏽 🙌🏽

  • @rosanasagbay8721
    @rosanasagbay8721 Рік тому

    Thank you Brian 😊

  • @kelligray1848
    @kelligray1848 2 роки тому

    Love you bunches! You have helped me sooooo much since I found you. God bless you.

  • @alee..9468
    @alee..9468 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you for your subtitles.. 👍👍👍
    And yeah I really like your speaking english... ❤❤❤

  • @maysaraali5772
    @maysaraali5772 2 роки тому

    Love your content Brian!

  • @Megan6772
    @Megan6772 День тому

    Wonderful message ❤

  • @pr5160
    @pr5160 2 роки тому +4

    You're so right Brian! I'm the sweet supportive kind of girlfriend, all I wanted was to hice him love, treat him well, be there for him. But he like the exciting toxic tipe, he runned away. I guess I was not his tipe :'( he really hurts me

  • @francescaali8782
    @francescaali8782 2 роки тому +1

    This is amazing!!, thank you!

  • @paulastorm2750
    @paulastorm2750 2 роки тому +6

    The problem I have in getting out in the dating world as a widow is that when I met my husband we fell in love immediately and got married in a couple of months. We were married for 36 very happy years with very few problems or games or issues. We just loved being together, raised our family and therefore I was devastated when he died. It has been nearly six years and I have slowly vent your in dating. The problem is that is my model and I assume if it is meant to be things will be nearly effortless. Not sure if this is unrealistic?

    • @nancykelly9712
      @nancykelly9712 5 місяців тому

      You will probably have to tackle it like small interviews and just have fun without getting too serious. There are a lot of broken men out there looking for a "mother" to take care of them. Be sure to find one that can maintain your standards, lives the same or better quality of life you do and can fend for themselves. Ask me how I know! 😢

  • @Antoniathinks
    @Antoniathinks 2 роки тому +2

    Dank je wel, Geert.

  • @spyroluver0951
    @spyroluver0951 2 роки тому

    Omg yas! Get these videos out 😍 love it

  • @steweythecatdog
    @steweythecatdog 2 роки тому

    Thank you Brian

  • @jessiekalff
    @jessiekalff Місяць тому

    This video gives me hope that one day I might meet that special someone….
    🌸🌸🌸

  • @kellyburkin500
    @kellyburkin500 2 роки тому

    Great video, Good advice

  • @foreveryoungpisces7426
    @foreveryoungpisces7426 2 роки тому +2

    LDRs require different thinking. My S. African love has had to cancel 4 flights to see me in 2 yrs due to pandemic and travel bans. The latest one pushed him over the edge. We don't need to talk much now. We're deeply connected in heart. I don't believe the general rules apply during Covid.

  • @hannahberlinpetry450
    @hannahberlinpetry450 2 роки тому +6

    Hold on…there are people who think you should say you love someone after only 6 weeks? Lol. If you think that, you’re not emotionally stable enough for a healthy relationship.

  • @NDiaz-et6hc
    @NDiaz-et6hc Рік тому

    Merci beaucoup Geert! C’est trop juste!

  • @martaewa1403
    @martaewa1403 2 роки тому +15

    It's hard to give up

    • @biba350
      @biba350 2 роки тому +6

      Yes it recently happened to my I kinda pulled back my energy but couldn't finish us so 3 weeks ago he ended it I miss him
      I love him but we should have given up around 2 years ago

    • @VasyAhmed
      @VasyAhmed 2 роки тому +3

      Its Hard . But not imposible . No contact From 3 weeks Here , Im feel So good . He write me yestarday , But i not answered .
      On my way , i know I can !
      👍🙏❣️

  • @whaasgoodwitchya
    @whaasgoodwitchya Рік тому

    This is awesome.

  • @davidthomspson9771
    @davidthomspson9771 2 роки тому

    This is so right.

  • @BEBERLY33
    @BEBERLY33 2 роки тому

    I been into his Videos, it's wonderful truest conversation 🙂

  • @janetatuniquerawfoods2361
    @janetatuniquerawfoods2361 Рік тому

    This distinction … using the term… certain models of men. It cuts the emotion and increses detachment for healthier perception. So funny. I thought this about a man who I am still only on the dating site still. He seems to have patience for me and understanding… almost like I can do no wrong. Mind you… I work to be very present to him… if that makes sense. I like men. You make it easier to understand them overall. As well as which ones to avoid Thank you.

  • @Krishna-dq2yv
    @Krishna-dq2yv 2 роки тому

    Thank you

  • @reignofaragon6890
    @reignofaragon6890 Рік тому

    Thankyou

  • @nunya5270
    @nunya5270 2 роки тому +15

    I still find issue with this advice because I've been dating someone and we both have said it numerous times that when we're together we have the best of times! It's clear that when we're together, without ever trying, we naturally bring out all the best, most beautiful & amazing parts of each other. It's almost magical. And yet, we're on the verge of parting ways because I am seeking commitment while he doesn't. So, it doesn't matter if he "sees me" , does it? Because if we have life-relationship timelines that are not in sync, or if we are not yet emotionally available for the other, then why would/should I keep trying with him?

    • @bannedclips100
      @bannedclips100 2 роки тому +19

      What I’m learning is two things can exist at once. He “sees” some parts of you but does not “see” others. It comes down to how important these values are to you, that he sees or doesn’t see. To me commitment level is a fundamental part of a relationship. If this fundamental part is different for you both, it hurts but he doesn’t actually “see” this part of you. He sees what he wants to. Which isn’t a good or bad thing but just doesn’t align with what you want. Remember that relationships aren’t black and white, all or nothing. What a beautiful thing you got to experience with him where you know what it feels like to feel so magical. But something really important to you just isn’t there so it’s okay to let it go. Remember that fantastic feeling though and look for someone who can stir that up within you again, while also being able to provide the level of commitment you need. Lots of love to you

    • @reenaree5616
      @reenaree5616 2 роки тому +15

      Wow if the dude doesn't want to commit to you please value and commit to yourself. You are more important than him, he isn't air, you can live without him. Or if you stay, do it conciously, so you won't blame him for your own mistake of choosing to be with him. You are important, you are valuable

    • @demonstrativum3807
      @demonstrativum3807 8 місяців тому +1

      I was in the same situation. The guy didnt want to commit. Although it was hard for me emotionally, I said goodbye to him. My love to any person cannot be bigger in this life than the love to myself. I am the most important person in my life and I am responsible for taking care of myself and defending my interests.

  • @megja1812
    @megja1812 Рік тому

    Freedom is above love ….you don’t force people. A women knows if he loves her, words are not love

  • @joyguimz5401
    @joyguimz5401 2 роки тому +2

    Very nice!!but it's just too hard to let go..

    • @brendagratz1296
      @brendagratz1296 2 роки тому +2

      It always is hard to let go. But know that you are valuable and someone will see that and want to stay with you.

  • @Prerna399
    @Prerna399 2 роки тому +1

    It's feels really bad just imagine you don't know if he loves you or not ...u believe in he loves you and in end you came to know he is just using you 😐

  • @kahleesi-queenfire179
    @kahleesi-queenfire179 2 роки тому

    Sooooo very true

  • @emilyb1438
    @emilyb1438 2 роки тому +8

    I had a guy tell me he loved me after two months. I ran. WAY TOO SOON.

    • @goddessglow6996
      @goddessglow6996 Рік тому +1

      2 months is more than enough to fall in love. 🙄

    • @mobimanna
      @mobimanna Рік тому

      ​@@goddessglow6996Yes she's sure she doesn't love him so she ra🙄

  • @sharamichaels9200
    @sharamichaels9200 2 роки тому +3

    Yea love in 6 weeks seems kinda premature. This ain't high school after all.

  • @scholarthefuture7284
    @scholarthefuture7284 2 роки тому

    Thx

  • @eleonorasapin2201
    @eleonorasapin2201 2 роки тому

    you are great good psychoterapy 😜

  • @inkerikavantera
    @inkerikavantera 2 роки тому

    He told me he loved me after 2 weeks. Way too early. Clingy. Uncertain of himself. Low self confidence. I thought I was healed from insecure attachment to more secure one. In this relationship I got worse, my traumas kept reappearing. 2 months on; I think this is it.

  • @margaretvanson3601
    @margaretvanson3601 2 роки тому +6

    Love is not about loving yourself more. Love is about wanting the best for the other. In other words love is sacrificial not self centred.

    • @doloressimpson7456
      @doloressimpson7456 2 роки тому

      If your significant other does NOT love YOU in a SACRIFICIAL WAY & put YOU "foremost" in importance RATHER THAN HIMSELF in this relationship then ... He is "using you" & NOT worth keeping. He shows by his ACTIONS that he does NOT want what's BEST for YOU !!!

  • @Celti_
    @Celti_ 2 роки тому

    Damn this was deep and incredibly scary to think about.

  • @ninjakazz3791
    @ninjakazz3791 2 роки тому +1

    Its funny, the more of thes videos of yours i see the more i realise i have done everything wrong in my love life and the more i feel that i have to be "my self" but that means that i have to be someone else than who im and that makes me belive less that there are one for me out there somewhere

    • @galxy3067
      @galxy3067 2 роки тому

      👏🎯👏🎯PERFECT!! And there are some assholes that assume we should be interested in changing ourselves to please them!!!!! We HATE those and they just dont seem to get it!! Could you do a video on " how to make it clear to assholes " before murder 🤣

  • @wms72
    @wms72 Рік тому

    He fell for the real me, said he loved me, BUT it "wasn't that serious."

  • @airbullet9331
    @airbullet9331 2 роки тому

    Wow!

  • @travelchannel304
    @travelchannel304 2 роки тому +4

    In 6 weeks?? Wow. Too soon even if you both are sure.

  • @alee..9468
    @alee..9468 2 роки тому +5

    I'm struggling because he ignored me.. No message no call.. How i will know that he love me..

    • @brendagratz1296
      @brendagratz1296 2 роки тому +9

      I'm sympathetic to what you're going through. Since he's ignoring you, then let him go as hard as it is to do, but it's the best thing for your mental and emotional wellbeing. I've been through that and you don't want to keep investing your time and energy to someone who doesn't want to acknowledge you or show you respect. Just also know chasing him, also known as being clingy, won't get his attention neither. Let him go and value yourself enough to see that his actions speak louder than words. If he's not eager to be with you than he's not worth your time. In this video, Brian makes excellent points about what I'm saying. Take care and there will be someone who is more deserving of your time, energy, and emotions. Have a good day.

  • @justfine810
    @justfine810 2 роки тому +3

    I did find value and use in the information just shared. However, please forgive me if I may have missed it, but what is the most important question we should ask someone that we are falling for?

    • @lovelace8702
      @lovelace8702 2 роки тому +1

      You have to be the real you. Is that enough? If not move on. Did he fall for the real you.

  • @SA-su7kq
    @SA-su7kq 2 роки тому +2

    6 weeks seems too soon to me to say I love you.... Am I....the problem lol.

    • @Ms.Cris421
      @Ms.Cris421 Рік тому +1

      Lol, you're not the problem. I agree!! I no longer do "societal rules"... Mainly because there are always exceptions. I pray, go with my discernment and deal with the person accordingly.

  • @aussiegirladventures3189
    @aussiegirladventures3189 2 роки тому

    Thanks Brian. 🤣"Trade him in for a different model." A better one. Being single after marriage is tough. Dating: How do you find gold amongst the dirt?

  • @belindahutchinson5333
    @belindahutchinson5333 11 місяців тому

    I’ve never tried to change a man. Let them be themselves...I just aren’t interested.

  • @corichang
    @corichang 2 роки тому

    I thought perhaps your pen name could be Brian Here🤗

  • @aishwarya0341
    @aishwarya0341 2 роки тому +2

    Would want see the content, a little more frequent...

  • @brightpage1020
    @brightpage1020 2 роки тому +3

    Omg 6 weeks is nothing. After a year or two then you can say “if you don’t know by now, that’s an answer. I’m not wasting one more minute with you. Best of luck. Goodbye…. Next!” Right?

  • @notanotherusername
    @notanotherusername 2 роки тому

    Why is it not as important for a man to say I love you? Can you please elaborate?

  • @katjanielsen1586
    @katjanielsen1586 2 роки тому +1

    Hi 👋🏻
    I am new to your Channel. I have a Big crush on my daughter School teacher, and I see him alomost every afternoon when I Pick my daughter from School.
    I have a feeling that he likes me back, but I am sure. Can you help find Out?

  • @erinidayu7994
    @erinidayu7994 2 роки тому

    I really like your real name. May I know how you spell it ?

  • @carolynnmathisen8754
    @carolynnmathisen8754 11 місяців тому

    This is not my wisdom….but NEVER negotiate who you are. Trying to change someone is never a good idea

  • @kimberlycaceres3449
    @kimberlycaceres3449 2 роки тому

    It's just fun and I dgaf...we as women are emotionally needy to a point. You need to really know yourself and understand that men think so differently than we do. Dont give in to soo just because his words are what you want to hear,trust me I've been there and done that soo much. If you need some answers look within yourself and watch for, not just red flags but any sketchy flags lol...

  • @bertille19
    @bertille19 Рік тому

    Most men are not that deep. I keep my real self to myself

  • @authenticme5708
    @authenticme5708 2 роки тому

    Its over if he wants the benefits of a husband before marriage!

  • @lisacody61
    @lisacody61 2 роки тому +1

  • @MotherEarth573
    @MotherEarth573 Рік тому

    😂trial ends, return! Haha Brian is so funny. Subscribe a bf in trial, and meh..not impressive, not going to continue

  • @riquipoo5578
    @riquipoo5578 2 роки тому +4

    6 weeks?????...geez, desperate much???