When a Man Confuses You With Mixed Signals, This Will Bring Clarity
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- Опубліковано 4 лип 2021
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“You cannot have a deep connected relationship with him because he’s disconnected from himself.” How true!
This was the most important statement!
Don't be afraid to lose him! That is the most important key right there. Fear drives most of our bad behaviour.
I’m going through this now. Detaching myself from someone who seemed really great and was a good person, but started to send mixed signals was confusing and so hurtful. Thank you reminding all of us to always put ourselves first 💯
Its painful..I'm going to tell him what's he's doing wrong for months..he's just nice to me for a week.. Then another day he's just don't care about me..I'm tired of this shit now..though he's told me..he's depends on me..I'm special I'm sacrificing for him a lot. But I am not getting the value as he pretends..if its going to happen in this row..i ll kick him out of mah life forever
Am in the same position .The next minute he's all sweet and other times distant.I am done loving that imbecile.
Check out the types of attachment styles.....the behaviour you are describing sounds like a dismissive avoidant.
These behaviors also have alot to do with one's childhood.
We don't need mixed signals. Maybe we should start giving them mixed signals too
I am in the same position right now. I will get through though. I refuse to settle
I fell in love with a guy that seemed to me a very good person, actually perfect, but he kept sending me mixed signals, it broke my heart, I was constantly very stressed and couldn’t stop crying (I normally never cry). Then I asked him to stop sending me mixed signals and he stopped - he lost any interest in me. First I thought I made a mistake, but later I realised that it was the best decision and now I’m watching this video and I feel so relieved😊 Thank you😊😊😊
Your words helped me..thanks
I love that you got over him. I pray for you
There ARE no mixed signals . Either he wants you or not. In fact RUN if you see hes starting "mixed signals". Its a game for women to chase and compete for him. Also i could care less what comes out of his mouth -action will speak volumes. Ive heard it all. Love bombing,talk of marriage ,im perfect for him,planning our future-🙄..all bs.If hes not doing anything proving he wants you hes wasting your precious time.
Exactly 💯
Fact.
Yes exactly
AMEN.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Bottom line...if he wants to be with you ...he will do what he needs to be with you. Period. If he's always making excuses...doesn't "have time" etc. Move on.
Ive learned that if I meet someone that doesnt know what they want, I should move on. I'm in a stage in my life where I do know where I want and I want to be someone who also has a clearer idea as to what they want. There were definitely phases in my life where I was unsure and didnt, but now I am past that phase and once someone starts giving me mixed signals, I will move on
Perfect Girl !
Good for you. But in my case it’s hard because he is my husband and we have 4 kids . I wish it was that easy for me
*Honesty is the best policy.* Who's got time playing the left-on-read games? Counting hours to see if it's ok to respond to him or will he see me too desperate and all the other funny business one may play as per Brian's sheet ;)
Same here, dear!
Exactly! Clarity is power and the way forward⭐️🌸
“It means he is disconnected from himself”. So true!!!
No, it doesn't. It means he has options, and you're not one of them 😂
Exactly!!! No one's got time for games :) My skincare costs too much. No one's wasting that eye cream on unnecessary tears lol
I think honesty is the best policy. Who's got time playing the left-on-read game. counting hours to see if it's ok to respond to him or will he see me too desperate and all the other funny business one may play as per Brian's sheet ;)
RIGHT!!!! needed to hear this. no mans gonna be the cause for my wrinkles 🙋🏻♀️
Yes Have you noticed how our face changes when we are stressed over that guy.
Girl you right! Hahahah
I love that idea.. so true my skin care routine is expensive to waste for someone not even worth my time and attention.. hahahah
😂😂😂 Thank you 👏👏👏
If they are not showing the valid level of interest there is someone else and you are an option
Exactly. When women see "the game" of how men get women to chase them and how to have several women always on standby (to screw) its infuriating but a huge eye opener.
Yesterday I told him to think about our relationship and gave him 2 weeks. I thought I made mistake. Thank you for this video. So proud of myself.😅
Be happy with him, be happy without him
Exactly. And the best is when you got to the point where you just FEEL you don't and won't settle for less any more.
Thanks for the great video!
Hope I get there soon!
So much games nowadays, better to be single
Sad, but true!
God, i love your advices! You are helping women hearts all over the world. Thank you for being you, Brian!
Loved when you said: "His probation period starts"😆 By the way... loved your videos and how you explain things in such a simple and direct way. You have a very captivating channel, full of practical advises and it's a pleasure to listen to you when you use your discret and unique sense of humor. Congratulations!
Brian, thank you so much for this video. You gave me confirmation that I made the right choice. I was involved with a Lucan kind of man for 2 months. Even though he is a good guy, he was also involved with other women. He was giving too many mixed signals. I may have been his favorite for a while. Like you said, he doesn't know who he wants. I ended it. It hurts. I love myself enough to know that I deserve a man who is looking to build a real connection.
I think guys who get with multiple women are just avoiding a deeper connection or truly being vulnerable with someone.
Yay another Brian video, thank you for your commitment & humour on affairs of the 💗
Thank you. I needed to hear this today! Loved the Friends reference too 😉
Thank you Brian:,) i really appreciate you making these videos!!
I love your approach, your humor and your content! Thank you!
Your videos are very helpful and insightful. Short, straight to the point. Thank you!!!
This is so cool! Very well explained and also funny! Thanks
You just described my ex perfectly and our relationship! Just found you and will be binge watching other videos
Thank you for making sense of how men think and act. I learn a lot of what to look for in my relationships.
Your videos are very informative. Thank you for being down to earth and not being one of the sales type guys that seem to be hyped up in caffeine.
Gosh, I just LOVE EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of his videos! I literally get So excited, and a lil giddy when I see he’s came out with a new one🥰! (Sigh) I just wish He was more consistent with his content! That’s OK Brian, I still Adore you!! BTW Great choice of a pen name, that’s my dads name and also who I’m named after...which would make my name Brianne, in case u were wondering!😉
I love you Brian💟 your advice is always full of wisdom. And the way you hold dignity above all, it is amazing!!
Thank you, it really made sense when you gave those examples. I am going to apply your advice forthwith.
I'm TRULY FEELING this dude!!!!! listened to a few others and...unhunh. this guy, made me laugh while educating and encouraging me.
Interesting. This man I've been pretty much talking to for about 6 months now has not made an effort to actually date me, yet "he really likes me." I feel he is wanting me to chase him. I've never dealt with a situation like this before but it is definitely mixed signals. Along with the extended response times and inconsistencies. Starting to think he is just stringing me along.
He is let him go
@@stefaniemcgivern4519 I think its time to do it for good. Would you just let it fade away or talk to him and let him know to forget about it? At this point I just feel like letting it diminish
Don’t listen to his words. Watch his actions. And I’d say don’t even waste your energy and give him the attention he hasn’t earned. Just mirror his effort, give him minimum attention. If he really cares he will pursue you. If he doesn’t, just let it go. You lost nothing since you haven’t invested.
@@CubitaLola first off thanks for asking my advice I am flattered. I was in this kind of situation for over a year with a guy who has never lived up to his word, my most recent dating experience actually. It has been long distance but there are always absences for weeks on his part, no communication etc. Mixed signals to me means he is unsure of you and I think honestly you deserve a guy who is sure. It isn’t worth your self respect to chase a guy. I would let him go for someone (if they actually exist) that knows that you are a priority to them. I don’t know why men cannot just be straight with you from the get go, but it isn’t up to you to entertain their inconsistencies when there is someone that would treat you much better. If he doesn’t treat you right from the get go I don’t think he is someone you want to further invest your time in. I tried talking too to my guy but still the same. I would move on.
@@stefaniemcgivern4519 Thanks so much for taking the time to read and reply! Im sorry to hear you had to go through this too, definitely not worth it. It sounds so much like my situation, what makes it more sticky is we work together, however we are still working from home so things are a little easier for now. I don't understand these traits they portray, its almost like they want an ego stroke is what I suppose. You're so right, I respect myself way too much to put up with it. I haven't heard from him going on day 2 now and it doesn't even phase me anymore. I told him the other day - its easy to say you want to be with me but it takes putting it into action and putting the time in. Still have yet to hear "I want to see you" or anything to that extent. The few times I did see him which was just for a couple of minutes was due to my intiative, but no more. Thanks for your insight, its incredibly helpful.
Easy to say withdraw , when you are in the midst of the relationship it is not that easy to withdraw and live your life
it's so hard to do, but if you can bring yourself to do it, you'll feel so empowered and then if you find yourself in a similar situation again, it'll be a little easier.
You don’t have a choice so you must do that for yourself
Or with a kid. My ex’s mother was murdered when he was a kid. He met someone who’s mother was also murdered and he felt really seen. He left and within two months they had moved in together. Within 6 weeks they were pregnant. He abandoned his kid and didn’t contact us for months. No financial support. How do I ask for child support when the court would then give him visitation with this new girl who is not safe. (Trust me on this without the details) Do I just leave it? Do I force talking for child support? It seems like I lose either way
@@anonymouse6703 Unfortunately its is never easy . Wish it was!
@@sheenacouture7657 stop feeling sorry for him. Its not your job to play therapist to any man. Take him to court. Its about him and his responcibilities hes ran away from. Focus on your kid
and not feeling sorry for the guy who left you. He sounds like garbage.
This video is so timely for me. Thank you!!
Sam3
Oh wow this was very insightful
Thank you! I had to learn that the hard way....💖
This really made sense in me this morning thanks Brian dia
Also-preach!! Amazing video
Thanks brian so useful
Very helpful. Thank you!
One of the best explanations I have encountered, and it's not all too irrelevant that Im psychotherapist.
Thank you! I learned a lot from your videos!
Love the friends reference 😂
You are the best, thank you!
Don't dismiss red flags.
Really good advice!
I appreciate this. It’s not painting all men who are confused as the bad guys, but human. Women are confused too, but people are ok with that because we still follow the archaic notion that men should chase women and we should sit back and wait. Mutually healthy love doesn’t do this. Both partners equally pursue one another and initiate conversations and next steps.
This made me cry lol omg! Thank you for confirming I’m not crazy. This is the best message I’ve seen in a while and very informal ❤ and my name is Brooke lol
HERE'S WHAT HE'S THINKING - HE'S NOT
Thank u
your insights is good ive learned a lot from u
Best coach ❤️
This man is excellent!
So Geert, you're a fan of series! OTH and friends! ;) Thanks for the video! Btw your real name is really pretty!
Young People Need More Than Ever ❤️ To Learn This ❤️🦋
Excellent 👌🏻 TY 🌟✨💖
Love the reference about One tree hill 😂❤️👍🏼
Wish I would have seen this video earlier this year. I could have had a very different year, for the better. I am one of those "unlucky ladies", unfortunately. I know why I kept trying with this man, but I also feel so foolish. I'm glad you posted this. Thank you.
Same Here ! U are not alone !🥰❤️
@@VasyAhmed Thank you for letting me know. I understand many women (& men probably) go thru this. I feel like it was worse than a roller coaster ride! One day it finally hit me that all he has been saying is how it really is...he's NOT in love with me but he does care about me. It's just that my mind equates affection with care AND love, so I kept "trying" to get him to "admit" his love for me BECAUSE he was always ok with affection and talked about wanting more of it & how much he wanted it. Those were mixed messages in my mind.
So true and fun video
I met a Lucas... he wrecked me. I'm a single mother, he knew this. He asked me out but never followed through on the date. We talked for about 4 months before we got intimate. In between that 4 months he was very hot and cold. He kept saying how he liked my son and doesn't want to make a negative impact on him. Now here we're in January and he's telling me I cannot fit into his life because he would demand more attention but we should spend time together to see where it leads. I'm so over it at this point.
What happened in the end derian?
@@silviasandoval5179 We stopped speaking for about a month and then we just kinda picked back up. I have deep feelings for him but I guess the timing is off between us because I'll be going to France for 12 months. We're still friends though.
Omg same happened to me! I have a daughter and we also had 4 months! He just stopped all communication in January. Girl, he does not deserve you or your son! You dont need his negativity in your life.
Tk u Brian! Lov u ! :) sudden end??!
PIVAAT!!! into the 90's for a minute there Brian! You're so funny. Great advice.
Good info. Wow!
Brian, I really like your videos and I find them bringing me a lot of clarity.. I think the opening statements can be a bit more assertive.. You don’t have to explain why your original name wouldn’t have worked.. You can be Brian just because you wanted to be Brian.. Heath or Brian, you’re the brains 🧠 🙂🤗
Love your videos 🙂
Thats a man that is not ready to settle with one woman
True
He doesn’t want a relationship but calls me 4-5 times a day?!! Wtf?!!
Love the FRIENDS references!
You're so underrated. I wish every woman watched your content! It's gold 💛
I love that you watch one tree hill. I love that fact. Wow
Thank you ♥️
It's the FRIENDS reference for me. 😂
So yeah, I fell extremely hard for a Lucas-type of guy. Oh boi, in my heart and in every future I think of, he's there. But after all these years of trying to detach from him, which I failed to do hundred of times, I now understood that we're getting nowhere. I'm still mastering how to be myself and how to own myself again.
Hey, self, you got this.
Thanks, Brian, for this vid. You should be Brian Lumos not Nox. Hahaha kidding.
Very good video! Can you talk more about Ross/Rachel/Emily scene? He was stable with her for many months but then his wedding and this Rachel thing. How would you advice Emily to behave in this situation?
Gosh I wished I watched your video way back before dating some A holes in my life🙏💯
I’ve been watching all ur videos even the ones from a year ago. Wow haven’t I been doing ahit wrong hahahaa. Thank you for this
Love this...
Love you OTH reference
Thankyou
This is true…I dated a man last year that was pushing and pulling, which was very confusing. We’d committed to each other to date exclusively and he told me he loved me and wanted to live with me. I am still fond of him…he did it for me. Unfortunately, he did not get it together when he knew he has some issues that he’d hinted at. He’s got some past trauma, insecurities, abandonment, and trust issues. If I’d known then what I know now I would’ve addressed those issues more directly. I could tell his being flooded by those emotions being in love caused some serious uncertainty, which led to those abandonment and needy outbursts, pushing me away. I believe he may have BPD bc all the symptoms are there. He wanted to repair with me, which I was happy to do bc I do love him, but things spiraled again.
Something else is important to clarify. There are mixed signals in a relationship (bad) but there are also "mixed signals" in the flirting stage. The later are probably due to the person being cautious because flirting is meant to be plausibly deniable, as in, you may or may not be flirting. That's part of the fun!
Mixed signals when you are flirting are normal, in my opinion. Flirting is all about the give and take, being hot then cold, etc. But mixed signals when dating are more concerning.
Im in the flirting stage with a guy and we connect so much/easily. But one day he stopped talking to me for about 2xs out of the week (i only see 2xs a week at my work) so i kept saying hi and he wouldnt say anything, just stare. So i took back my energy, withdrew from him. He came to my work one day and he said,(hi) i didnt say anything back and he asked, (are you okay?) And he seemed so giddy coming up to me but i just looked at him and continued to do my work. This next time which was yesterday, he came and i was just leaving my work and he walked in, we just looked at each other and i did the nod up with my head lol. And he just took a look at me and walked on by. (This time i was all giddy) 😭😄 its annoying with the back and forth but every time we look at each other, i feel like its strong and intense, nostalgic. Ik he knows that im still upset with him for ignoring me and for not clearing up as to why he ignored me. So thats y he's hesitant now, as am i.
We always stare at each other as if we want to speak to each other but we hold back 😔❤
@@Jessica-yh4qm how is the situation rn?
You're so funny Brian😂😂❤️
*SHARKS, predators of the sea !!!*
I loved One tree hill! ❤️ Yeah, they had some weird stuff going one, but I love the series. 🤗 I think Lucas ended up with Peyton at the end. ❤️🥳
OTH reference? Subscribed.
You are great👍😊
Hey you! Thanks for letting me get to know your coaching. I love it. Only have one issue; now I only want to date you ;-) Haha! Much love
Dammmmmm….. You are GOOD 👍🏻 😊
Lol!! I love the Friends references.
Lol love your one tree hill example
You're tossing us some gold nuggets my man 😆
Great title 😂
And that Friends reference too lol
@5:13 starts the GEMs of what to do….. 🙏🏽
Brian great video. Do dating coaches have this problem also? Is that where the info comes from? I have watched alot of your stuff and find your info very interresting.It has helped alot. By the way I think your hot
Youre genius
Unfortunately, I belong to the second option. Always trying to analyse his mixed signals 🥺
Awesome, LOVE LOVE LOVE the F*R*I*E*N*D*S reference!
2 Timothy 3:2 comes to mind. As the days get darker, the darker people are getting. This is why more and more people are adoption self-absorbed narcissistic tendencies.
He'd say Rachel. Imma out lol
Nice Friends reference
When he listens to his friends and acts on it not knowing or interested in truth and stays on phone
Going no contact is the way.
Bingo 🙏🏻💝🌹❤️
I haven't seen the show spoiler alert 😕