Breaking down green & red flags in friendships!

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  • Опубліковано 21 бер 2023
  • Sierra Schultzzie, Riayn Christina, & Paloma Malfavon discuss the nitty gritty of what makes or breaks friendships in your twenties. The girls share their own friend struggles, what they look for in healthy friendships, and reveal viewer-submitted red and green flags.
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    About Twenty Whatever
    Twenty Whatever features Sierra Schultzzie, Riayn Christina, & Paloma Malfavon talking candidly about navigating your 20's with your friends through different phases of life. (formerly Sierra Unfiltered)
    for business inquires contact: sierra@sixsevenmedia.com
    Breaking down green & red flags in friendships!
    • Breaking down green & ...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 87

  • @HG-jx2jj
    @HG-jx2jj Рік тому +90

    Idk if this makes sense but I wish the wider shot of the three of you sitting together was a bit more zoomed in LOL. Like just a bit closer to you lovely gals to cut out some of the extra space (like the door next to Sierra). Love the topic, super fun episode ❤

    • @YarroBizarro
      @YarroBizarro Рік тому +3

      Yes!

    • @YarroBizarro
      @YarroBizarro Рік тому +3

      Yes!

    • @skylarsa
      @skylarsa Рік тому +4

      Also the saturation of the camera is less. Like ever notice how Ryan's zoom in scenes are less quality/not as bright as Palomas? I know it's the camera that they use, but especially in this episode I couldn't stop noticing how "red" Palomas flag was compared to Ryan's.

    • @christined4347
      @christined4347 Рік тому +2

      Agree! I'm always trying to zoom in to see their faces more 😂

    • @ericahipolito8144
      @ericahipolito8144 Рік тому +1

      Yes!

  • @velafreeman9802
    @velafreeman9802 Рік тому +102

    jess is such a well spoken amazing person. i love her contributions to the podcast!

  • @laurenvallee2591
    @laurenvallee2591 Рік тому +40

    Not gonna lie, I’ve caught myself doing one or two of these red flags specifically. Watching this made me realize it's time to take a deeper look at myself! Love y'all as always 💕

  • @torimull4079
    @torimull4079 Рік тому +56

    This episode confirms what I have been thinking lately of one of my best friends for 7 years having a lot of red flags 🚩

    • @vc5213
      @vc5213 Рік тому +1

      Been there. Tough situation

  • @jeniferlove3871
    @jeniferlove3871 Рік тому +14

    Please have Carrie Dayton on the podcast she is such a vibe and would vibe with all u ladies

  • @emilyjacques7856
    @emilyjacques7856 Рік тому +19

    One of my biggest red flags goes with the one of “not being able to be myself”, but it’s when my friends yucks my yums. Making fun of my music, movies, books or anything that I like just because they don’t like them. The worst is the “Oh god, I can’t believe you liked that movie! It was SOOO BAD” like ok, what’s the point in telling me that?

    • @strawbberrygirl
      @strawbberrygirl Рік тому +1

      This!! But also when you are starting to get to know a new friend and you say something like “oh I love reading/ watching movies” and they will be like “oh cool” instead of engaging and asking questions!! I love learning about people’s interests and it clearly shows you don’t give a crap to even humor me for a second. Like now I feel silly for even bringing it up.

  • @deborahleatherman7001
    @deborahleatherman7001 Рік тому +11

    Red flag when you only hear from a friend when they need something.

  • @megan7506
    @megan7506 Рік тому +26

    This came at a perfect time. Currently going through a best friend breakup/fizzle out because I know I deserve better and I deserve peace. Thank you for this ❤

  • @annebowen1794
    @annebowen1794 Рік тому +26

    We need to add a therapy moment with Jess❤

  • @taylorcozart4940
    @taylorcozart4940 Рік тому +11

    🚩when your friend calls you out for being an outfit repeater lmao. If my outfit is serving…I’ll be serving it multiple times👏 sorry not sorry

    • @Jenalamah
      @Jenalamah Рік тому +2

      Who even has the $ for non repeating outfits. Bad long term financial planning lol

    • @taylorcozart4940
      @taylorcozart4940 Рік тому +1

      @@Jenalamah literally!!!

  • @georginaleigh1868
    @georginaleigh1868 Рік тому +1

    The pride when Jess said 'Jess went to therapy' was beautiful. You're amazing!

  • @Jenalamah
    @Jenalamah Рік тому +5

    Jes, sorry to hear about your recent breakup. Thank you for sharing such wisdom. I wish you strength moving forward

  • @Jpaoneill
    @Jpaoneill Рік тому +1

    The biggest and my most important red flag - not being able to address potential red flags. They can’t fix what they may not know is a problem 🤷🏻‍♀️ and vice versa…we growing together 💗

  • @carson2809
    @carson2809 Рік тому

    I love the topic of this video! The topic of mutual silence is one that I adore! As someone who is autistic and needs someone in the room with me to truly feel productive, mutual silence is something I love.

  • @brennabren13
    @brennabren13 Рік тому +5

    🙌🏽 my Wednesday morning dose of serotonin has arrived 🤪🫶🏽

  • @rebeccauhlin7046
    @rebeccauhlin7046 Рік тому +1

    This episode made me feel way less alone. Sierra I went through the same situation with my high school boyfriend, he made me cut off all my friends and was so manipulative. Thank you ladies for sharing ❤️

  • @The_Paracosm
    @The_Paracosm Рік тому +1

    You girls brought up a friend tearing you down in order to build themselves up, I had that very thing happen to me when I was very young. Their friendship was part of my earliest memories of what I was made to believe "friendship" was. They acted one way around me, then when around others they'd go out of their way to mock and belittle me. That was the only experience I had with "friendship" for many years to come, and it's something that I still carry with me to this day all the way into my 20s. It contributed a lot to my insecurity as a person, so truly don't do that to anybody and DON'T let anybody do that to you. {Love you girls, listening to this podcast today has really lifted my spirits, it's so nice getting to listen and be apart of your conversation}

  • @sofyaa2943
    @sofyaa2943 Рік тому

    I love everything Jess brings to these episodes!!! Can we please please please hae an episode with her on the couch with everyone?

  • @Jenny2393
    @Jenny2393 Рік тому

    Omg so cool you guys have the video version on spotify!

  • @Emma_Elizabeth
    @Emma_Elizabeth Рік тому +7

    “Teeth.” “Skirt.” I cannot I’m using that 🤣

  • @heydirle
    @heydirle Рік тому +1

    Lmao @ “don’t tell me I’m too sensitive, I’ll cry”

  • @madison5916
    @madison5916 Рік тому +5

    The one-upper is the worst

  • @chloedeyoung
    @chloedeyoung Рік тому

    I’m so excited about the group chat!!

  • @Viry1905
    @Viry1905 Рік тому +1

    I was waiting for a new episode ❤🎉🎉

  • @Jadenms
    @Jadenms Рік тому +4

    y’all after the intro plssssss say your names

  • @shannonmay2894
    @shannonmay2894 Рік тому

    The youtube recommended videos page is very good at giving new videos of people you watch often so subscribing is almost not needed so the call to action is really good.

  • @happilyellisafter
    @happilyellisafter Рік тому +8

    What’s the confetti at 13:32 all about?! 🎉😅

    • @skylarsa
      @skylarsa Рік тому +1

      Thank you! I saw that and was like wtf happened there?!

    • @happilyellisafter
      @happilyellisafter Рік тому

      @@skylarsa not mad at it…I was just like…hmmmm? Did I miss something 😅

  • @Jenalamah
    @Jenalamah Рік тому

    This one went so quick!

  • @clairejoyce2383
    @clairejoyce2383 Рік тому +5

    Jess 💜 went through it too x

  • @susanastinson3897
    @susanastinson3897 Рік тому

    Love your outfit sierra! So cute 🥰

  • @trin303
    @trin303 Рік тому +1

    I lost one of my best friends over new relationships. I got into a serious relationship, and still actively tried initiating times to hangout. But when she got into a serious relationship, she almost tuned me out. I was hurt by it for years because we were really close, we were even planning to go to the same college and get an apartment together later in life.

  • @kalliedoscope
    @kalliedoscope Рік тому +6

    So excited to watch and listen! I sell vintage clothes and love to put y’all on as I sort and price/tag items. If y’all ever wanted a curated box, let me know! I’m super size inclusive and have a variety of styles/eras. ✨✨

    • @skylarsa
      @skylarsa Рік тому +1

      I want this to happen for you and the podcast! I think it would be so cool to see the girls support small business like yours!

    • @kalliedoscope
      @kalliedoscope Рік тому +1

      @@skylarsa Aw thank you!! I’m excited to see their color analysis video because I have my own theories on their colors, but I’d be STOKED to send them a curated box based on their results!

  • @samanthamccollough4986
    @samanthamccollough4986 Рік тому +1

    I had a friend like that at 18:39 , we were friends since 8th grade and lived together in college and she would get mad if I would hang out with other people or get super jealous it was a lot and we have drifted so much (I’m going to be 36 this year) and just over time our friendship started to fade because i distanced myself from her. It’s sad bc we were friends so long but there was too many other issues that ruined us. Some people are in your life for a chapter, not forever.

  • @teamarie123
    @teamarie123 Рік тому +3

    Not going to lie with the first red flag about not being able to be yourself I felt a little called out because I only got diagnosed with ADHD a year or two ago because it used to be a joke that in high school I had a different personality tailored to each group I hung out with because I didn't have an identity. I did band, choir, theater, cheer, tennis, science olympiad and just would accidentally morph myself into whatever group of people I was with because I didn't understand masking.

  • @heydirle
    @heydirle Рік тому +1

    13:32…I neeeed to know what’s up with the confetti!

  • @ashleycampailla
    @ashleycampailla Рік тому

    Love you girls.😊

  • @FatCatLuna
    @FatCatLuna Рік тому +2

    I love you guys so much! I will forever try to be the first comment on every podcast video!! ❤

  • @ln8267
    @ln8267 Рік тому +3

    I don’t have any friends from high school or college. Most of my friends came pretty much after I turned like 23. I of course had friends back then but a lot of them turned out to be toxic or girls with drama that didn’t know how to be a good friend. I have a good set of friends as an adult. I’m doing well now I can’t say the same as of last year tho because I had to cut out two friends and I’m 32. It’s been tiring keeping friends 😅😅 so it’s shocking to me when ppl have the same friends since they were children lol

  • @caity_witha_C
    @caity_witha_C Рік тому +2

    Much love to Jess!

  • @tabithacrosslin6395
    @tabithacrosslin6395 Рік тому

    I was best friends with someone for over 15 years. My kids called her Aunt and my parents considered her their daughter. We got in a huge fight 2 years ago and ever since, I have seen the red flags and watching this I know now that she was toxic and I didn't need that around my kids and family!

  • @ajasimpson7205
    @ajasimpson7205 Рік тому

    The way you're describing a ton of my friends :-)

  • @annaiannicelli8310
    @annaiannicelli8310 Рік тому

    It would be so funny if you just did a roasting episode 🤣

  • @LamRamJam
    @LamRamJam Рік тому

    Does it tell you where we were at in the video when we hit subscribe? Because your call to action a few minutes in genuinely made me check, and I wasn't! So new subscriber here! I agree with a few other commenters, I'd love a more zoomed shot!

  • @meganjs
    @meganjs Рік тому +1

    Don’t feel guilty about a call to action!! As long as it’s relatively quick we don’t mind :)

  • @jaykaytherapy
    @jaykaytherapy Рік тому +1

    "your actions don't match your words" -- I was told by a therapist that this statement is unrealistic and abusive. Granted, that was only a few weeks or months before he terminated me. I was saying that he says he cares, but doesn't show it. We had long discussions about how he showed care in the past and it was no longer happening. :( STICK to your guns. This was definitely a red flag.

  • @k.....................
    @k..................... Рік тому

    I stuck up for my friend whilst they weren't around. They soon stopped the comments, however, never told my friend about what they said.

  • @elizabethgoldstein4606
    @elizabethgoldstein4606 Рік тому

    Love this episode !

  • @fashionbabe28
    @fashionbabe28 Рік тому +1

    Are you guys ever going to have guests on the podcast? Love how it is with you 3, such good vibes but maybe have jadyn or Kenzie on. Love your whole crew and would love to see the different dynamics and perspectives. Almost like how the main channel is now

  • @sydneybergeron4672
    @sydneybergeron4672 Рік тому

    The red flag with the friend who ghosts friends once they're in a relationship happened in reverse for me. I thought I had friends I would be friends with till we were old, but once I got into an official relationship with my now husband (have known him since we were kids) and transferred universities none, except one, of my friends kept contact. I would text to keep in touch and never get invested replies. It really sucks to feel excluded just because I'm married and moved away. It sucks to see the lack of effort and to watch friendships fade to the point where I've slowed contact because it feels like they don't care about hearing from me. Or to see how our friendships existed because of proximity but faded just because we no longer live together or within the same area. I value friendships regardless of distance or time apart and will always be there and rooting for them no matter what, but it's becoming obvious that maybe I didn't matter in the same ways to them.

  • @paigeashlyn569
    @paigeashlyn569 Рік тому

    i was so thrown by the confetti😭

  • @Luceisamisfit
    @Luceisamisfit Рік тому +1

    When a “friend” expects you to be there for them when they need you but is completely disinterested if it’s the other way around (same applies for talking about themselves or their needs, interest etc.)🚩🚩🚩🚩

  • @koswims
    @koswims 3 місяці тому +1

    Random thought: I would love to tune into work sessions with you all. I turn you on when I need to get work done and want company :) I feel like I'd be so productive working with you all

  • @erogers2687
    @erogers2687 Рік тому +8

    Would love it if you incorporated chapters/timestamps into your videos!

    • @skylarsa
      @skylarsa Рік тому +1

      I've been asking for timestamps since they started

  • @lucysebastian446
    @lucysebastian446 Рік тому +2

    checking if i’m subscribed and you betcha i already am!!!

  • @emily-anneobrien740
    @emily-anneobrien740 Рік тому +1

    I tell my husband all the time when he asks me why I don't see my friends... I told him like... my ideal friend would just show up here and be here. Haha. I just need someone who interjects into my life 😅. They have to be enough of an extrovert to force me to go out some times tho. Haha.

  • @santiagoapodaca285
    @santiagoapodaca285 Рік тому

    Trying to add myself to the group chat but when I’m adding my contact. Keeps telling me my city isn’t a valid city. Anyone having this issue? Please help.

  • @HM-gi2tz
    @HM-gi2tz Рік тому

    Is there a way to text the group chat from internationally? I thought it would be an iMessage number but it's come up as green! I'm really sad I won't be able to participate.

  • @MeganGirondaToxicFoxy
    @MeganGirondaToxicFoxy Рік тому

    Yeahhh I have a friend that her cousin and I had to work together to plan wedding things. My friend told us she wanted us to be friends and knew we would get along. So after the wedding was all over, it was my birthday the next month, and I invited BOTH my friend and her cousin, and let my friend know that we could all hang out and I invited BOTH of them.
    Suddenly my friend got pissed and was very upset I invited her cousin, even tho she told me she wanted us to be friends???
    And then the next month her cousin asked if I needed help moving, and we could also work on planning my friends baby shower....I said OK and then my friend got pissed with me AGAIN....and told me I needed to ask permission.
    And then told me her cousin has zero intention of being friends and doesn't have time for me (yet the cousin and I texted)
    I think my bestie made it up just to make us not be friend. So sadly, me and her cousin stopped speaking after the baby shower.

  • @lily2064
    @lily2064 Рік тому +1

    Can I join the chat if I’m not American?

  • @Jenalamah
    @Jenalamah Рік тому

    Woo!

  • @veronicasandiford0304
    @veronicasandiford0304 Рік тому

    Yay

  • @taralynn251
    @taralynn251 Рік тому

    jess, i just got out of a 5 year relationship (i’m 29!)

  • @Viry1905
    @Viry1905 Рік тому +5

    The group chat works internationally???

  • @FatCatLuna
    @FatCatLuna Рік тому +1

    First!! ♥️♥️♥️

  • @ln8267
    @ln8267 Рік тому +1

    Flaky friends who don’t take time to think of what you would like for a change even if it inconveniences their life 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩