I was with a sociopath for 3 years and when it all ended I lost the will to continue. It was so confusing to me what I did to deserve that. He “love bombed” me and chased after me for years, when he finally got me, slowly and slowly he started treating me worse and I started to catch him in more and more lies. I caught him cheating on me and that was what ended the relationship. I’m now happily married to my wonderful husband and we share a beautiful life together and our darling son. Life is great.
@@VG-qu3vb IDK what country you're in but I endured nearly a decade of abuse bc I had nowhere else to go-no family to take me in & no government assistance available to me. 1) I had no children 2) I was penniless I was fully dependent on my husband financially & bc I was on his taxes as his spouse, in eyes of my Gov, I was just as wealthy as he 3) I had 3 dogs My husband's puppy who clung to me bc he mistreated him (which I put a stop to) & my dogs that were Seniors bc I'd had them long before my marriage. Those are 3 of the largest obstacles I encountered. Typically, you'd devise a plan to work & save for an exit strategy but after years of abuse I became very sick with an autoimmune illness that prevented me from working. I'm still recovering my health to this day. I'm not in a great situation (yet) but I do have my dogs & my life plus I have Faith. If the Government is handing out help, I sure missed out!!!
She’s lucky she got out when she did. My ex-husband had an affair after 28 years of marriage and convinced me that he was sick and confused. I stayed with him to try to “help” him. After several more years of stress and questions I had a severe mental breakdown and almost died. With the help of a therapist and medication I was finally able to get out. It’s taken me several more years but I feel like I’ve finally got my life back.
You poor thing... I feel for you. I am glad to hear you are getting thru it now. I have been in the same position before and prefer to stay single now rather than risk my sanity
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had to encounter all of that. But I’m so glad to hear you’re getting your life back. Once you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s no where to go but up! I wish you the best!
1 in 20-25 people are like this. I lost two decades of my life to someone like this. They do not always “cheat” like this. But there are other manipulations, control, entitlement, cruelty and abuse was hat escalates. I am thankful to see this coming out on a public forum.
This is far more common than people realize. It's doubly difficult because not only have you been betrayed by your spouse, you also lose your sense of reality & feel you cannot & should not trust your *own* judgement. It's a mind bender & can utterly destroy you. She's very lucky she had the support of her family. Others aren't so lucky.
Absolutely. I was in a relationship like this for 18 yrs up until last year. Still in the process of getting divorced, as I am a covenant marriage. I made so many excuses and convinced myself that I was in the wrong. Even after he told me everything, I convinced myself that now that he was free of his lies we could start over. Two years later, I started feeling weird about things and confronted him. He gaslighted me for another year before finally telling me he had found his soulmate that he couldn't be with because she was married and had kids (i.e. not for my sake but for her sake). He made me feel crazy and jealous and at fault for all of it. We have a son and we co-parent. I can't stand to be around him and he continues to lie and gets mad when he doesn't get his way. He and his newest girlfriend are moving in together this summer and he thinks this is the best situation for our 9 yr old to be apart of. I second, triple, quadruple guess everything about myself and my feelings. Am I being over-reactive? Why do I feel this way? Is this normal? Why am I mad one day, sad the next but then also happy? Over time things have gotten so much better. Luckily, I have a great support system between my friends, work and my therapist. It could be so much worse for me and I'm thankful it's not.
Chris, mine has lasted over twenty years, and I, too, am in the process of getting a divorce. Lies upon lies upon lies until you just don't know what the truth is anymore. I totally, and completely understand.
It felt sometimes like I was being strung along for time, that I knew, like I was being manipulated despite my having a high opinion of her as the years went on; I always thought highly of her despite others not so much; I had an image that stayed constant for over a decade and it was a good one; questions I always had got answered this year which led to more questions but I won't let you take our good years away from me although when I see a pretty face these days I run.
I understand this story in my bones. I once knew a horrible man that also changed the course of my life. She said all the key words... boundaries. I had no boundaries but it did not occur to me. I am a different woman today.
It's another example of a good, trusting person poisoned by the garbage that seeks them out--predators are what they are called; it's amazing to me that he threw someone this good away; where he'll end-up who knows and no one will care.
I had a cancelled engagement in my 20's it was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me and I thank GOD that I got away from that evil man. Ladies, if you have any nagging doubt about the man you're with, just know that if you need to break up with him that it is possible to over ANY man. Any breakup is better than a lifetime wasted, your best years wasted, and your self esteem shattered, with the wrong person.
I was in a relationship like this after my divorce and reading Jen’s book really helped me to understand that these empty vessels are real. They walk amongst us. I, with my empathy, lack of self esteem, and eternal optimism, was ripe for the picking.
Soooo true. And it’s crazy how those vulnerabilities make a person susceptible to these types of “relationships”. Yet, in order to have a successful relationship you have to be vulnerable 🤷🏾♀️. Best thing we could do is work on ourselves and strengthen our self esteem so that we can be less susceptible to these types of people.
My wife is a narcissist.. they literally have no conscience, but they are masters at pretending they do. But it is shallow. Once awakened, it cannot be unseen.
Cmdr Harcourt F. Mudd Only unseen by those of us who choose by our own weak soul to unsee. My twin is a narcissist. It's not anything I'd wish...It's the saddest of things....Beyond comprehension
Is divorce not an option? some people just love attention.. Maybe you are the narcissist? I refuse to believe any grown man would stay around a women that is so unberable.
Xher Blood yes it is an option. I am working with doctors, a psychologist, a lawyer with expertise in Npd and her family. We are approaching it as a medical issue. In my case, as of now, her narcissistic behaviors were exposed widely to family and friends and is reigned in. She now admits her behavior, shows understanding that it was wrong, and has committed to therapy. I gave her a choice. Fix herself, or lose her family including her daughter. She chose her family. Due to her 'awakening' I have learned she is narcissistic because of family neglect as a child. She was abused by a teacher among other children when she was in preschool as well. It took vast amounts of energy, time, confusion, therapy with a professional, and expense for me personally. I am still I'll with cptsd on a cocktail of meds. At this time.. I still maintain vigilance. I work at home full time to keep an eye on my wife and child both, until her full diagnosis and therapy is in full swing. I didn't need to do all this. I could have walked. Sometimes I think I should have.. I suffered not only from abuse, but trying to help a person with a broken soul...I ask myself every day. Should I walk now, and heal myself now.. or do I work hard to save a family, my daughter and possibly my wife who herself suffers mental illness. This what makes it all so hard. The difficulty is trust. She isn't trustworthy. She needs to prove herself immensely and show that she cares for family and not only herself. She has a lot of trust building (with me) to do. This is why the abused suffer so much. The cognitive dissonance. The idea that someone who you should trust your life with and grow old with could be so cruel yet so absolutely clueless is amazing. My ex was abusive and covert. I lasted 14 years about with her. This one. Overt. On year 3. Her narcissism came out about year 1.5 or 2, for me. Then exposed past nastiness from a previous man. Long story.but suffice to say I know him well now, and his experiences were very similar if not identical to me. She is on a short leash, in a sense. Her future is in her hands and she knows this darn well.
Well, you can only blame yourself for staying! I know some women stay because they can''t afgord to live by themselves, but even living in a rent-apartment is much better than wasting your life with a sick person.
I read the book “A beautiful, terrible thing” and it was incredibly descriptive. I cannot believe someone could be like this. I feel so bad for what she had to go through.
I was with a sociopath for seven years. And when he left,he left me in mental and financial anguish. Sitting here, five years later, still single because I’ve lost the will and ability to date.. I’m still trying to come to terms with what happened to me. I’m still healing .. but I wonder what did I do to deserve the nightmare that was him
I've been married to a man that sounds so similar to yours. And I find myself in the same situation. He has taken away my whole being. I know I need to find help. And I hope you do too. Stay strong!!
You didn't do anything to deserve it, you were in the right place at the right time and he chose you. They are masters of their craft. What empowered me most was exposing him to protect others and researching the disorder. It helped me to finally accept none of it was real and no contact is the only way to deal with these less than human beings. There is no future with a Sociopath. Still in therapy 3 years out, no willingness to ever date again.
Aimee Sacks I’m sorry to hear that. Same here. And everyone looks at me like there’s something wrong w me .. because I’m still alone (traumazied)! My only goal is to continue healing and if that looks like being single the. So be it. Sending u all my best.
It's good that she got on TV because the woman he is with or maybe protential women can see what he did to her and how pretty she is and did not deserve this
I found out that my husband had a secret life after almost 30 years. He had a Stripper girlfriend for 10 years and several other women “ friends. I thought he was just building his career when he was away from home .He finally admitted to using drugs and other things . I left him , he now has a 27 year old girlfriend who is a former drug addict . He lost his six figure job and is now a homeless junkie. Opioid prescription drugs were his downfall. He was also a great liar. I hope everyone who has that perfect man will not blindly trust him but will check up on him. I lost many years of my life loving a Narcissistic Sociopath .
It is important these type stories are given publicity. Many victims are far too embarrassed to come forward and speak of their experience. Others do not survive to tell her story. She was lucky he went no contact and she had support to fall back on. Until this happens to you, others can hardly relate-and also believe it could never happen to them. Love bombing and playing upon sympathy are 2 tell tale signs you are dealing with a sociopath.
gosh Suzi we have nearly identical stories, even down to the strippers and vicodin dependancy and fantastic liar.. I hope you are loving youself and healing now.
ILhaam Oz keyword: fraud, there is something to it but it would be a bit hard to prove. Also he was living in the US illegally, if he were from South America chances are that he might have never even had a chance at a green card even if he did find himself an American citizen wife.
I can relate completely. This sounds like my story, too. It’s heartbreaking. Being a survivor is courageous and I am proud of you. I am proud of me, too!
Always, always run a background check & have your partner tested for STDs BEFORE you get serious or intimate or even marry anyone! There are STDs out there which there are no cures for now
Oh i had a narcissist boyfriend, they are clever beyond belief. I checked info with his family and friends, because he tried to keep us sequestered from eachother. Now he's living on the streets
Elizabeth Harttley I know that’s right girl! I did too! This hit on EVERYTHING A NARCISSIST IS! I’ve heard usually when a sociopath is labeled a sociopath they are also Always a narcissist as well!
Mine would ask me if I loved her and I did; I wasn't pushy enough considering what might be going on on her end. A lot, that I would find out too late; you kind of have to hand it to these people, though: they get far.
Ive been through a very similar experience, but I wish I could reclaim myself like she did. I stayed too long, suffered so much before I figured it all out. The narcissist is so good at the lying and gaslighting
It makes you question your judgement; she was with some people before and they were normal and out of all of them some of us pick not-so-wisely or rush into things; the warning signs were there, something is telling us to hold-up and think about it , but we go there, anyway--because it's an adventure, and the other choices are but so predictable!
@@lovedove6108 She isn't talking about generalizing that all men are bad, but that this type of treatment can destroy your trust when it comes to men or trust with anyone....subconsciously!! You may not even realize it, but it will affect your future decisions. It can traumatize people to be used & abused by someone who has a personality problem. Lack of trust can be a deep-seated issue that colors your life negatively!!
Or women, and it does not have to be subconsciously. It can make you paranoid even with the best partner. If you cannot trust it will harm any relationship, but like the lady says when the dots don't connect then alarms should be raised. you should need to look objectively not emotionally
This sounds exactly what I went through. I found out at one point there was four of us women. I had two kids with him! The ironic part of my story is that he ended up getting shot and killed by a women's boyfriend.
I swear reading these comments makes me want to become a nun. Oh my God. And I have 3 brothers and they are so amazing that I can't imagine how some men are.
I went through this, as my ex-wife is a classic textbook sociopathic narcissist who was abusive in all ways and took advantage of me financially. Pathological lying as a defense mechanism, and manipulating everyone to have everyone believe she is a victim when she is a victimizer of possibly everyone she encounters. This was also the case with her abusive parents. Actually my ex-wife's siblings are also very abusive towards the long term relationships they are in as well. It's weird when it is a whole family of abusers because of their ability to take advantage of others. Parents who kept their children as children, and then sought out significant others to take care of them. I'm very lucky I got out even though it cost me somethings financially and emotionally. But I am thankful to be out of that abusive family for good. It even led to an arrest of my ex-wife for domestic violence and assault, that's what luckily changed everything for me.
I am the daugher of a female narcissist. I am very sorry. I went no contact with my entire family. I am a fighter, but the experience nearly destroyed me. God speed to you. I actually think Megyn Kelly exhibits the traits of female narcissism so it's weird to see a sociopath interviewing someone about their experience with a sociopath.
My ex is exactly like that down to me saying do you remember saying you still love me and him looking me dead in the eye and saying you’re making that bullsh*t up. They feed off your self esteem like emotional vampires when I met him I was very confident in myself by the time we broke up my entire self worth had been based in his opinion of me. I read a quote about narcissists that is also true. They will convince you that you are the center of their world then tell you you aren’t good enough to be apart of it.
Taylor, he doesn't have time for remorse, reflection, self improvement (believes is perfect). Has no internal life, no worries about the dear and near ones, is constantly looking for ways to fill his void, be the centre of attention. That gives him plenty of time. ;)
In the book, she mentions that he would "work" 15 hour days and would always leave her side due to "work" since he had just opened a new restaurant, she believed him.
Ahahahah I find it incredibly satisfying that she's on television promoting a book that will, no doubt, be read by many; and "Marco" is still somewhere feeling empty and soulless. 😂🤣😄🤗 She triumphed from his failures! Fabulous!
Lol sociopaths don't care about or feel bad about that he might even feel good like he is the only reason she is able to survive and thrive so she should thank him.
Elisa Mastromarino - I think “Marco” feels just terrific about the whole thing. He managed to get a legal Green Card because of this marriage (and although she didn’t mention it in this interview, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he is a full US citizen at this point), and then he managed to get out of his marriage easily and quickly when it no longer served any of his needs or interests to stay in it - and he even got out of having to act like a father (I ***would*** be surprised if he pays any child support). All of us know “Marco” IS empty and missing a soul, but that isn’t anything he will ever realize, much less something he will regret. BUT ... there IS one way she COULD make him feel something, and that is by reporting to federal law enforcement that her ex-husband only obtained his Green Card by defrauding her, her family and friends, and the US government. If he isn’t a citizen yet, his Green Card would probably be taken away after a bit of investigation to confirm he illegally obtained a Green Card. I doubt his citizenship can be removed if he has already become a citizen, but that’s okay ... after investigation to prove he obtained his Green Card illegally, the US can put him in jail or (hopefully) even prison if we aren’t able to deport him! Admittedly, none of this would cause “Marco” to feel empty, but it would make him feel sorry for himself - and that’s what he deserves.
He wasn't just "living in New York illegally", he was living in America legally. That was her first red flag that she ignored because he gave her compliments. He married her to become a legal citizen. End of story.
I had a similar experience on many levels but even with no contact from my ex my daughter grew up to be a sociopath herself and it's a pain I can't put into words. There is a genetic component which I didn't know.
It's like, guys like that attract someone as hot as she is, then they throw it away--wait a minute, I had a hot blonde who threw me away which is why I was attracted to and read the book (nearly every page was like a smack in the face sometimes, but mine was nowhere near as bad as this).
Seems like people who trust blindly always get screwed over. Know the signs and leave when you first realize something is off. Her ex sounds like how my ex would act but with a more naive woman. I feel bad for her but hopefully she is wiser. Never trust anyone. Don't care if you are married. My ex hated me for having trust issues but turns out it was the best trait to have because I never gave him the opportunity to screw me over. First sign that he started to act funny, I left him and went home. God handled the rest and we broke up a few days after. I could not be happier. Glad im out of that relationship. Looking back now he was definitly a sociopath but my skeptical and untrusting nature made me see right through the bull. He wanted so badly to manipulate, control and break me down. I never allowed him too. I hope more women stop believing in the stupid disney crap. There is a motive for everything, including relationships. Unfortantly in her case he was using her for a green card. My ex wish he had something to use me for but I never allowed him. Did not invest a dime into his wallets lol. He tried to cheat but I suggested we both cheat on eachother together so I won't feel so left out lmao. Im way to crazy to be mest with
XFendi Prada Im Happy For you that you survive being with samebody Like that"sleping with the enemi " but IT must have been emocionally and mentally draining ...you have to sleep with one eye Open😀😁😂
omg i want to read you book, thank you for standing up for the rest of us.. i lived this to the letter.. I felt mine was extreme narcissist, who wrote the manuel
It is imperative to acknowledge the pain sociopaths and cluster B personalties give you. No time for excuses but walking away completely from these monsters. I dated a toxic borderline and she was beyond abusive. Still healing from that traumatic experience.
Scary situation - great interview & great memoir! Highly recommend Jen’s book, A Beautiful, Terrible Thing to the readers out there. I am so glad the guy is no longer in the picture.
sounds almost identical to my ex sociopath. theyARE predators. I confronted him about another woman and he BROKE UP WITH ME immediately after blaming me. he also lied about his father being in a coma and he lied about being a drug dealer. I think I may do a video on it one day.
Rene, please do if you are comfortable with it. The more words gets out the better. We have an epidemic of narcissistic/toxic behaviours. Luckily, there are plenty of people sharing their experience, helping out other victims. Good luck!
Back in the mid 90s I dated this guy who I fell in love with but he had started being abusive and at the time I suspected he was cheating but I wasn’t sure 100%. We had this other couple that we were friends with, or at least I thought, and on at least two occasions I cried to her because I thought he was cheating on me. The last time I talked to her about it I was already thinking of leaving him I just needed the proverbial nail in the coffin, and I begged her through my tears to tell me if she knew that he had been cheating. The only thing that she would say was “well I have heard tell about it”... I did find out that it was the truth later on, and not only that, but he and his side chick had been hanging out and partying with her and her husband BEFORE I cried and begged her to tell me. A few years later a friend of mine sent me to this really cool bar and that same girl was a cocktail waitress there. She let us run up a bar tab and I “accidentally” skipped out on it. Oops.#AndIDon’tFeelBadAboutIt
my ex fiance and i were both in the military and i was away for two weeks and he cheated on me and broke up with me over text saying "he wasn't ready to be married" and then got married to the girl he cheated on me with a month later
Kaitlyn, that's so common behaviour for a narcissist. He did you a favour by removing himself from your life. You must have done something well in protecting yourself. But anyway did you check what are your vulnerable points, core wound from childhood (John Bradshaw)? Are you an Empath, codependent, profesionally fullfilled?... Do you listen to your guts? Please, discover that (and keep for yourself) before you meet the next one. At the beginning they are very convincing. Best of luck!
Lechiffresix six Actually who are you to even write a comment like that when you don’t even have a clue obviously of ever being around a sociopath who is verbally and physically abusive. Ignorance is bliss I guess
They don't have a conscience, thus they have no soul. Psychopaths are not human as they lack empathy. They are automatons. Doppelgangers. They are typically abuse victims themselves.. proliferating a disease, destroying families, children, and anyone they contact. Psychopaths are self destructive, and their disorder prevents them from wavering off their path. It is sad. I pity such people, however they harm others purposefully. With intent. With knowledge. They just don't care. This makes them inherently evil.
Cmdr, that's interesting what you say. Recently, one narcissistic woman wanted to use me. Surprisingly in her gestures, ways she reminded me of another narc lady I knew for many years. When I refused her help she used the same two sentences the other used to manipulate me emotionally. Since that meeting, I believe they may host a Jezabel. Yes, they know right from wrong, they don't care for others, but are a victims too. I have a compassion for them. And it is in their power to change.
R G my wife is a narcissist.. still with her, at least at the moment. Every day, every conversation, and interaction requires watchfulness and the active mind of an investigator. Nothing said by her can be taken for face value..and as she has lost her power over family as I exposed her, she still constantly tests boundaries. Her Chinese social culture and situation prevents her from discarding me... and with her families and friends awareness now, she is in a corner. If she leaves she is effed. If she stays she must put visible effort into improvement, or she knows I will leave her and take our 2yo daughter away too. Some days she is a sweetheart, especially when she wants something. Most times she is cold. It is a weirdly lonely state for me to be in. The other person is there, but not there. Then there are the frequent immature rage and narcissistic blowouts. In that state she literally has to be treated like a 2 year old. It is beyond exhausting. I have diagnosed cptsd. My wife's mother is here now, and despite not speaking the same language we've used translators. We are approaching this as a family medical matter. Her mom is a psychician, and I finally got through to her, made her understand her daughter's illness. The question is.. why.. I could just walk and find my sanity and health again. I don't know. Straight answer. We will see what happens. She agreed to therapy, though as with narcissistic people it is likely to not help. Time will tell, and should I give up, I can openly say I did all I could to make it work. The failure won't be on my shoulders, and if I am successful, just maybe a rare positive story can come out of this. I may not be well minded for stating.. if you knew the horrors and injuries I endured from her violence.. her family knows what she has done. I may feel alone, but in reality I'm not. I have my daughter, friends, and now family on both sides backing me.
A similar situation happened to me. It's been almost a decade now and I'm finally out thx to those willing to provide help in a number of different ways. You don't realize just how much you need to start your life over with no help and no resources. I've been amazed by the complete generosity of strangers that has opened the door to move forward. If you believe in a higher power please let that love guide you and perhaps consider opening your home or wallet. If you can't do that consider providing your time for childcare, transportation or offering a vehicle you no longer drive. There are SO many ways in which someone trying to "get out" of an abusive relationship needs help starting over. I believe we all have something to offer those in need, even when we are in need ourself 🙏😇💕
This happened to me as well- Emotional predators are very difficult to predict until, at least, most of the times, it is too late- This happens when the person you date, love and trust is not the person one marries- They can be the most charming, caring, loving, charismatic people- They are so good at figuring out what your needs are and while they target these needs and desires- reel you in! It is all in their plan- Most of all, if not all of the times, they will make you think that you are the crazy person, the one that is imagining this reality. I will say this: follow your gut instincts- If a person is constantly making you doubt yourself, not allowing you space for things that are important to you, isolating from friends and family- verbally abusing you because you deserve it and need to be taught a lesson- run for the hills! Just when I was getting stronger to make my move and leave I found out I was expecting- Not having the support of my family, away from home in a new city, I had to make the best of a terrible situation- One that I paid dearly for- I don't take divorce lightly, but, if you see such a pattern- plan and move on when the time is right for you. Don't think things will get better- They only get worse- I wished I knew then what I know now- There are 2 books I wished I had access to back in the day: "Stop Walking on Egg Shells" & "The Script" - and always be prepared- I view it as studying every night- Chances are you may not have that pop quiz but, wouldn't it be helpful and empowering if you came to class always prepared! Trust yourself and God first before anyone else!
Sociopaths don't care about beauty. They care about getting what they want and will step on anyone, even their own mother and children if necessary. Sociopaths are constantly looking for something shiny and new. They get tired of companions quickly and have the next picked out before ending things with the last. They're incapable of treasuring anything or anyone. Research sociopathy as it's quite interesting.
missychelle33 Sorry you went through this. I'm glad he's an ex. Make sure he remains an ex and I don't think you should let him anywhere near you even if appears as though he'd make a good friend, even if 15 years have passed lol. They're incapable of changing. Sandra Brown writes a great book on how to spot narcissists and sociopaths. I think all the single ladies and men should read it. These sickos go after loving individuals and will chew them up and spit them out. I've known quite a few and I've been the victim of a few but not romantically, they've been friends. Now that I know what to look out for I feel safer. All those who I've dealt with did come with big red flags but I was naive. Who doesn't want to be around someone who's fun and makes them feel great? Who isn't impressed with stories of how these people have overcome great odds? Who doesn't feel bad for the really sweet person whose entire family has turned on them because their evil (mother, father, brother or whoever) has lied about this sweet person? All these things were big red flags but I had no clue. If you search UA-cam for "Sandra Brown narcissist" you will find many videos. They're more educational than entertaining but they're fascinating.
I have dated two “Marcos” now. Thankfully I am so over one of them who ended up in jail...still working on sorting out all the other one’s sociopathic lies to get completely over it. So easy to attract traumatic relationships when your childhood was traumatic.
Wow, she must be so intelligent and love herself a lot for being able to get out of that relationship. I think a lot of women aren't sure of ourselves and thereby stay with him for far too long.
If you add the prevalence rate of sociopathy/psychopathy (APD) to that of narcissistic personality disorder, you get 8% of the population. That means about 1/16 people has no conscience, empathy, or the capacity for guilt or remorse. Even scarier is the fact that most psychopaths don't even fit the criteria for APD. A diagnosis of APD involves law breaking and contempt for authority, among other things. Most psychopaths are actually non-violent (they prefer to torture people psychologically and emotionally), and the more socially adept ones know better than to commit crimes and get caught, because getting caught means being exposed, and the biggest fear a predator has is that they'll be exposed. So the prevalence rate of APD is likely underestimated. We're entering an era where a significant portion of the population is either clinically diagnosable as narcissistic/psychopathic or sub-clinical (barely missing the criteria required for diagnosis). WE. ARE. F*CKED.
Happy to see Dr Durvasula on here. Her videos helped me tremendously in disengaging from a toxic relationship and setting healthy boundaries in my relationships; I hope this exposure will help others discover her - and a path to healthier relationships therein - as well ♥️
Been there. It’s still painful to think about 20 years later. But along with the pain there is also relief that I don’t have to subject myself to that person any longer.
This book and video are priceless. I do wish they had expounded more on the "personality" they refer to. They touched on the word sociopath, but going further with that, illuminating more about narcissism traits, which although they enumerated beautifully, never really connected to the personality DISORDER. Having gone through this to a devastating degree, I only WISH there was more blatant and bold truths about the mental illness that is a silent killer of the soul. I wondered countless times, "why hadn't anybody ever taught how to connect those dots; how to recognize mental incontinence. Its only AFTER the fact that one hopefully stumbles upon the truth of the psychotic bulldozer that just flattened your life.
Debbie, I couldn't agree more. Such disorders are so common now that parents should teach their children about them. Constantly, I see that normal people can't believe how bad, mean, cruel narcissist can be.
I’m currently no-contact 1 year with my ex friend, female narcopath, and almost one year with my male, former lover narcopath this September. Life is so much lighter and better.
Anyone who needs a green card will do anything to get one - try to marry or if female get pregnant - I know a girl who is doing this and trying to get a guy on dating web sight to marry
Lechiffresix six the thing is he never really loved her, their relationship was a lie and he probably only did start a relationship with her for the green card. Their whole relationship is like a lie....
@@PHlophe he is now getting engaged to a Latina woman he obviously only used this woman for the green card he never loved her. I follow him on his Instagram page.
@@liz2880 he is now getting engaged to a Latina woman he obviously only used this woman for the green card he never loved her. I follow him on his Instagram page.
first of all i dont want to defend this fuy but i know alot of people who are married and one needs a green card and they have live together for a long time and they have 2 or 3 kids and they have there ups and downs like any couple , i dont think is about the green card is about cheating
Jaclyn M your right but it almost feel like they had a perfect life until he wanted to cheat , green card go's right in with house mortgage and baby and moving and visa to travel but we can assumed that that was he's plan lol and maybe your right
Fast forward this guy is now legal here and is getting married to a Latina woman. Typical Latinos who only use women for green card once they get it they are gone.
I read Jen waites book in hours. Less then 5 at least. It was incredible addicting, thought provoking and gut wrenching. It was terrifying as she unraveled his lies. Definitely recommend her book. Still think about it till this day.
Sometimes every page was a problem; a lot of these people, though, want to come here to work, to make money; you can't bash them for that, really, it's the same situation they would face in their home country which apparently sucks worse than ours.
This kind of situation I would never dare blame a woman for finding herself in this position. Even a man for that matter. But despite charm and the in person reactions that fill your head. I seriously stress to read body language. And tho still difficult in person to detect look at his body in those pregnancy pictures. U can see how there is almost no feeling and just the stiffness. I'll admit my man is awkward in front of the camera but even then u can still see in his mannerism in pictures his feelings towards me and the care... I feel for her. Congrats for finding your way out!
Something so similar happened to me. The hardest part is to get out of the denial. But totally relate to the fact of feeling overjoyed to just have an answer. Biggest thing. Know your worth, don’t trust right away, and if you have a gut instinct listen.
I've been through a very similar experience and I am still trying to recover...a year later I'm still having PTSD from everything while he lives with his happy new wife & 7 month old baby. Yeah...sociopaths are so evil.
Courtney Shaine He needs new narc supply..Don't take it personally! Happens to the best of us.He is truly numb,sick,to be pitied..Don't let this define you,heal.Success is greatest revenge!
A friend of a friend found out her husband was living a double life by googling his name and baby shower invites popped up on. They were baby shower invites to his baby shower with his girlfriend.
Things like this is why I’m hoping to be friends with my future partner before I date them. When you’re friends with someone for awhile, you see who they really are.
I wonder how many affairs begin with and/or have alcohol/drugs involved. I am so ashamed that I cheated twice in my 20's and it ALWAYS involved alcohol say at a party starting out and most of the time. I became sober and I have NEVER wanted or had a desire to cheat on my partner of 6 years-EVER! I have also been cheated ON so I believe years of self-reflection, getting healthy and finding someone who can fulfill my needs(ALL of them lol) is how I changed the destructive behavior!!! You can get better and sadly the guilt never goes away but it does help that my ex-fiance forgives me and knows I was not well. He is a good man and I am so happy he found another love. COMMUNICATE everyone! My guy and I have learned to respectfully talk when we are lonely or frustrated. I love him so much:) #cheating #communication #affairs #lifepartner #happiness #healthandsobriety
Same story here,little self love, worth,respect,boundaries forself~ Carrying over into other people.Not realizing my power..I got alot of help.Apologized and forgiven,forgotten! Life is so short& beautiful when with the right partner.Our brains are still growing until our late 20s as well,playing catch up with the body😇☮️🤓
This is such a relatable story, and one that happens to so many women. My own story was similar in some respects, and I remember feeling that I wished that the realtor in my story had been able to be more compassionate. She sold a home to my husband and me at the same time she was working to find a home for him and his girlfriend. It still boggles my mind.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I was with a sociopath for 3 years and when it all ended I lost the will to continue. It was so confusing to me what I did to deserve that. He “love bombed” me and chased after me for years, when he finally got me, slowly and slowly he started treating me worse and I started to catch him in more and more lies. I caught him cheating on me and that was what ended the relationship. I’m now happily married to my wonderful husband and we share a beautiful life together and our darling son. Life is great.
I have a good man in my life.But i dont get it why they go after some one with such zeal then treat them like garbage?
Love a good ending!!❤
Lucky for her she had parents with the ability to take her in with her child. Many do not have that. That is a luxury for many.
R M I wish I had some help from family, but my parents are gone now. It certainly would have been a luxury to have them at this time.
I agree.
If not her parents, it would be the government.
R M so true. I would have left many years sooner had I had that.
@@VG-qu3vb IDK what country you're in but I endured nearly a decade of abuse bc I had nowhere else to go-no family to take me in & no government assistance available to me.
1) I had no children
2) I was penniless
I was fully dependent on my husband financially & bc I was on his taxes as his spouse, in eyes of my Gov, I was just as wealthy as he
3) I had 3 dogs
My husband's puppy who clung to me bc he mistreated him (which I put a stop to) & my dogs that were Seniors bc I'd had them long before my marriage.
Those are 3 of the largest obstacles I encountered. Typically, you'd devise a plan to work & save for an exit strategy but after years of abuse I became very sick with an autoimmune illness that prevented me from working. I'm still recovering my health to this day. I'm not in a great situation (yet) but I do have my dogs & my life plus I have Faith. If the Government is handing out help, I sure missed out!!!
She’s lucky she got out when she did. My ex-husband had an affair after 28 years of marriage and convinced me that he was sick and confused. I stayed with him to try to “help” him. After several more years of stress and questions I had a severe mental breakdown and almost died. With the help of a therapist and medication I was finally able to get out. It’s taken me several more years but I feel like I’ve finally got my life back.
You poor thing... I feel for you. I am glad to hear you are getting thru it now. I have been in the same position before and prefer to stay single now rather than risk my sanity
You’re so incredibly strong ❤️❤️
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had to encounter all of that. But I’m so glad to hear you’re getting your life back. Once you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s no where to go but up! I wish you the best!
God bless you. I really really feel for you and I’m happy that you’re getting your life back.
Debbie Villalta Praise God🙏🏻
1 in 20-25 people are like this. I lost two decades of my life to someone like this. They do not always “cheat” like this. But there are other manipulations, control, entitlement, cruelty and abuse was hat escalates. I am thankful to see this coming out on a public forum.
Only so many people, though, can spend the amount of time Waite does cross-legged.
You are right, they'll drum up drama and want to be the victim.
Way more than that. At least 10% of the population is either narcissistic or sociopathic. 4% are sociopathic and 6% NPD.
This is far more common than people realize. It's doubly difficult because not only have you been betrayed by your spouse, you also lose your sense of reality & feel you cannot & should not trust your *own* judgement. It's a mind bender & can utterly destroy you. She's very lucky she had the support of her family. Others aren't so lucky.
Absolutely. I was in a relationship like this for 18 yrs up until last year. Still in the process of getting divorced, as I am a covenant marriage. I made so many excuses and convinced myself that I was in the wrong. Even after he told me everything, I convinced myself that now that he was free of his lies we could start over. Two years later, I started feeling weird about things and confronted him. He gaslighted me for another year before finally telling me he had found his soulmate that he couldn't be with because she was married and had kids (i.e. not for my sake but for her sake). He made me feel crazy and jealous and at fault for all of it.
We have a son and we co-parent. I can't stand to be around him and he continues to lie and gets mad when he doesn't get his way. He and his newest girlfriend are moving in together this summer and he thinks this is the best situation for our 9 yr old to be apart of.
I second, triple, quadruple guess everything about myself and my feelings. Am I being over-reactive? Why do I feel this way? Is this normal? Why am I mad one day, sad the next but then also happy? Over time things have gotten so much better. Luckily, I have a great support system between my friends, work and my therapist.
It could be so much worse for me and I'm thankful it's not.
Chris, mine has lasted over twenty years, and I, too, am in the process of getting a divorce. Lies upon lies upon lies until you just don't know what the truth is anymore. I totally, and completely understand.
So true
It felt sometimes like I was being strung along for time, that I knew, like I was being manipulated despite my having a high opinion of her as the years went on; I always thought highly of her despite others not so much; I had an image that stayed constant for over a decade and it was a good one; questions I always had got answered this year which led to more questions but I won't let you take our good years away from me although when I see a pretty face these days I run.
Rebecca I couldn’t have said it any better ❤️
I understand this story in my bones. I once knew a horrible man that also changed the course of my life. She said all the key words... boundaries. I had no boundaries but it did not occur to me. I am a different woman today.
Elise Rockey I'd like to believe I am as well. Wiser...But they are everywhere now. It's like they bred overnight.
Why is that? Why are there more of them now?
THIS AND EXACTLY WHAT I AM LIVING TODAY IN MY MARRIAGE. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?
It's another example of a good, trusting person poisoned by the garbage that seeks them out--predators are what they are called; it's amazing to me that he threw someone this good away; where he'll end-up who knows and no one will care.
Same.
You pretty much have to be a sociopath to be a serial cheater. Don't understand how anyone could live with that guilt.
A Chubby Squirrel sociopaths don’t feel guilt.
DM CM that’s why they said that one would have to be a sociopath
Kommandant Franz nearly all women? What world do you live in??
Kommandant Franz someone is bitter
its called covert narcissist, people with no feeling, guilt or regret. there is heaps about them on the internet. many people deal with this.
I had a cancelled engagement in my 20's it was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me and I thank GOD that I got away from that evil man. Ladies, if you have any nagging doubt about the man you're with, just know that if you need to break up with him that it is possible to over ANY man. Any breakup is better than a lifetime wasted, your best years wasted, and your self esteem shattered, with the wrong person.
I was in a relationship like this after my divorce and reading Jen’s book really helped me to understand that these empty vessels are real. They walk amongst us. I, with my empathy, lack of self esteem, and eternal optimism, was ripe for the picking.
I was in a relationship for 3 months he had rage mand dumped me ,I was soulmate feeling I no only 3 mothe
And, what do YOU want now??? sympathy? loser. cry in your soup silently, don't make it about YOU!!!!
Soooo true. And it’s crazy how those vulnerabilities make a person susceptible to these types of “relationships”. Yet, in order to have a successful relationship you have to be vulnerable 🤷🏾♀️. Best thing we could do is work on ourselves and strengthen our self esteem so that we can be less susceptible to these types of people.
yes
My wife is a narcissist.. they literally have no conscience, but they are masters at pretending they do. But it is shallow. Once awakened, it cannot be unseen.
Cmdr Harcourt F. Mudd Only unseen by those of us who choose by our own weak soul to unsee. My twin is a narcissist. It's not anything I'd wish...It's the saddest of things....Beyond comprehension
Her adult life has consisted of the tearing down of those who tell her no or stand in her way.
Cmdr Harcourt F. Mudd Beta male
Is divorce not an option? some people just love attention.. Maybe you are the narcissist? I refuse to believe any grown man would stay around a women that is so unberable.
Xher Blood yes it is an option. I am working with doctors, a psychologist, a lawyer with expertise in Npd and her family. We are approaching it as a medical issue. In my case, as of now, her narcissistic behaviors were exposed widely to family and friends and is reigned in. She now admits her behavior, shows understanding that it was wrong, and has committed to therapy. I gave her a choice. Fix herself, or lose her family including her daughter. She chose her family. Due to her 'awakening' I have learned she is narcissistic because of family neglect as a child. She was abused by a teacher among other children when she was in preschool as well. It took vast amounts of energy, time, confusion, therapy with a professional, and expense for me personally. I am still I'll with cptsd on a cocktail of meds. At this time.. I still maintain vigilance. I work at home full time to keep an eye on my wife and child both, until her full diagnosis and therapy is in full swing.
I didn't need to do all this. I could have walked. Sometimes I think I should have.. I suffered not only from abuse, but trying to help a person with a broken soul...I ask myself every day. Should I walk now, and heal myself now.. or do I work hard to save a family, my daughter and possibly my wife who herself suffers mental illness. This what makes it all so hard.
The difficulty is trust. She isn't trustworthy. She needs to prove herself immensely and show that she cares for family and not only herself. She has a lot of trust building (with me) to do.
This is why the abused suffer so much. The cognitive dissonance. The idea that someone who you should trust your life with and grow old with could be so cruel yet so absolutely clueless is amazing.
My ex was abusive and covert. I lasted 14 years about with her. This one. Overt. On year 3. Her narcissism came out about year 1.5 or 2, for me. Then exposed past nastiness from a previous man. Long story.but suffice to say I know him well now, and his experiences were very similar if not identical to me.
She is on a short leash, in a sense. Her future is in her hands and she knows this darn well.
Good thing she got out early. I was stuck for fourty years.
Wow. So sorry. What’s your story?
Wowwww. They take away your self worth and strip their victims completely. So glad you escaped no matter how late.
I was stuck for 22 years
12 here. I was going to wait until my daughter turned 18 but just couldn't take it anymore. Narcissists are the most insidious abusers.
Well, you can only blame yourself for staying! I know some women stay because they can''t afgord to live by themselves, but even living in a rent-apartment is much better than wasting your life with a sick person.
God bless that broker. It could have lost him a client but he did it anyway cause it was the right thing to do.
I read the book “A beautiful, terrible thing” and it was incredibly descriptive. I cannot believe someone could be like this. I feel so bad for what she had to go through.
I think the construction worker she was seeing before that in her book was really Matthew McConaughey.
I was with a sociopath for seven years. And when he left,he left me in mental and financial anguish. Sitting here, five years later, still single because I’ve lost the will and ability to date.. I’m still trying to come to terms with what happened to me. I’m still healing .. but I wonder what did I do to deserve the nightmare that was him
I've been married to a man that sounds so similar to yours. And I find myself in the same situation. He has taken away my whole being. I know I need to find help. And I hope you do too. Stay strong!!
You didn't do anything to deserve it, you were in the right place at the right time and he chose you. They are masters of their craft. What empowered me most was exposing him to protect others and researching the disorder. It helped me to finally accept none of it was real and no contact is the only way to deal with these less than human beings. There is no future with a Sociopath. Still in therapy 3 years out, no willingness to ever date again.
Aimee Sacks I’m sorry to hear that. Same here. And everyone looks at me like there’s something wrong w me .. because I’m still alone (traumazied)! My only goal is to continue healing and if that looks like being single the. So be it. Sending u all my best.
You didn’t deserve anything. It’s Bc of how good he knew you were that he chose you. He wanted someone opposite of him.
Blame yourself for being weak.
His face needs to be shown to warn other woman.
It's on google.
cheater Carlos Beltran's smiling face looks like he can't be trusted.
It's good that she got on TV because the woman he is with or maybe protential women can see what he did to her and how pretty she is and did not deserve this
@@anniewilliams9317 No woman or man, pretty or not pretty, do not deserve this.
AGREED
I found out that my husband had a secret life after almost 30 years. He had a Stripper girlfriend for 10 years and several other women “ friends. I thought he was just building his career when he was away from home .He finally admitted to using drugs and other things . I left him , he now has a 27 year old girlfriend who is a former drug addict . He lost his six figure job and is now a homeless junkie. Opioid prescription drugs were his downfall. He was also a great liar. I hope everyone who has that perfect man will not blindly trust him but will check up on him. I lost many years of my life loving a Narcissistic Sociopath .
Suzi Wainwright Wow, hope you are okay now.
It is important these type stories are given publicity. Many victims are far too embarrassed to come forward and speak of their experience. Others do not survive to tell her story. She was lucky he went no contact and she had support to fall back on. Until this happens to you, others can hardly relate-and also believe it could never happen to them. Love bombing and playing upon sympathy are 2 tell tale signs you are dealing with a sociopath.
Sounds like a pretty cool guy
gosh Suzi we have nearly identical stories, even down to the strippers and vicodin dependancy and fantastic liar.. I hope you are loving youself and healing now.
He should lose his green card due to fraud.
What...….since when is being an arsehole against the law in the USA
ILhaam Oz keyword: fraud, there is something to it but it would be a bit hard to prove. Also he was living in the US illegally, if he were from South America chances are that he might have never even had a chance at a green card even if he did find himself an American citizen wife.
Key words, it is not against the law to commit adultery. You have no idea how the system works, particularly the green card process.... liz
Jojo
that is the dumbest comment I have read in a long time, LMAO
I can relate completely. This sounds like my story, too. It’s heartbreaking. Being a survivor is courageous and I am proud of you. I am proud of me, too!
Bobbi, I'm proud of you! Well done! :)
Bobbi Jo Toy me to but luckily I was devalued after 7 months it completely blind sided me.
He’s still Hooving me..
Always, always run a background check & have your partner tested for STDs BEFORE you get serious or intimate or even marry anyone! There are STDs out there which there are no cures for now
Unfortunately they can always cheat on you and give you an std later on
Book Bag Yea that’s a problem. So if you are in a relationship with someone do you guys get yearly checkups together?
I agree.
Oh i had a narcissist boyfriend, they are clever beyond belief. I checked info with his family and friends, because he tried to keep us sequestered from eachother. Now he's living on the streets
Elizabeth Harttley I know that’s right girl! I did too! This hit on EVERYTHING A NARCISSIST IS! I’ve heard usually when a sociopath is labeled a sociopath they are also Always a narcissist as well!
Elizabeth Harttley Right where he belongs!
If he's a narcissist his family probably is too. He could be the family scapegoat.
bizygirl1
Naw nobody belongs on the streets
Honorable Catsmeat
He hasn't bounced back from the streets. I am sure he can't afford to monitor me. He became afraid after our last conversation.
I've been through this and it's devastating.....
Maude, I hope it made you stronger and now you figure them out faster. There are so many of them around.
Same here only much more devestating
I am sorry, Cathy - I hope you are ok now.
No sincere remorse. Skilled charmer. Calm. Sounds Innocent. Gaslighting. Manipulating.
Jojo Jo Bingo!
Mine would ask me if I loved her and I did; I wasn't pushy enough considering what might be going on on her end. A lot, that I would find out too late; you kind of have to hand it to these people, though: they get far.
His name is Bjarne Sorensen, he lives in Nyborg Denmark. Everything that comes out his mouth is a 'lie'...RUN AND DON'T STOP!!!
Ive been through a very similar experience, but I wish I could reclaim myself like she did. I stayed too long, suffered so much before I figured it all out. The narcissist is so good at the lying and gaslighting
I think you and her would make a good pair ....message her
How strong this women is. How difficult!
It makes you question your judgement; she was with some people before and they were normal and out of all of them some of us pick not-so-wisely or rush into things; the warning signs were there, something is telling us to hold-up and think about it , but we go there, anyway--because it's an adventure, and the other choices are but so predictable!
whats sad is it destroys your trust and sometimes you never trust men again , subconsciously
Not all men are the same. Generalizing helps no one.
@@lovedove6108 She isn't talking about generalizing that all men are bad, but that this type of treatment can destroy your trust when it comes to men or trust with anyone....subconsciously!! You may not even realize it, but it will affect your future decisions. It can traumatize people to be used & abused by someone who has a personality problem. Lack of trust can be a deep-seated issue that colors your life negatively!!
Or women, and it does not have to be subconsciously. It can make you paranoid even with the best partner. If you cannot trust it will harm any relationship, but like the lady says when the dots don't connect then alarms should be raised. you should need to look objectively not emotionally
But it's also a wake up call to how many cluster B personality disordered people there are, at least 10% of the pop.
As a surviver of this. I appreciate you sharing this story. Helps those of us who have been thru it.
This sounds exactly what I went through. I found out at one point there was four of us women. I had two kids with him! The ironic part of my story is that he ended up getting shot and killed by a women's boyfriend.
QT Hearts Sometimes we live long enough to witness or hear when justice has the final word.
I swear reading these comments makes me want to become a nun. Oh my God. And I have 3 brothers and they are so amazing that I can't imagine how some men are.
talk about good riddance
Good !!
I went through this, as my ex-wife is a classic textbook sociopathic narcissist who was abusive in all ways and took advantage of me financially. Pathological lying as a defense mechanism, and manipulating everyone to have everyone believe she is a victim when she is a victimizer of possibly everyone she encounters. This was also the case with her abusive parents. Actually my ex-wife's siblings are also very abusive towards the long term relationships they are in as well. It's weird when it is a whole family of abusers because of their ability to take advantage of others. Parents who kept their children as children, and then sought out significant others to take care of them. I'm very lucky I got out even though it cost me somethings financially and emotionally. But I am thankful to be out of that abusive family for good. It even led to an arrest of my ex-wife for domestic violence and assault, that's what luckily changed everything for me.
I am the daugher of a female narcissist. I am very sorry. I went no contact with my entire family. I am a fighter, but the experience nearly destroyed me. God speed to you. I actually think Megyn Kelly exhibits the traits of female narcissism so it's weird to see a sociopath interviewing someone about their experience with a sociopath.
beautiful and articulate woman - gorgeous child - wish them great happiness
If they were ugly, would you wish them the same happiness?
Emily Adams ;) Smiling people are always beautiful. Have a good day!
@@emilyadams58 she was just making an observation. It's not that serious.
When I heard "green card application..." Says a lot. Avoid the green card needing men, ladies. So sorry for this lady and her child.
My ex is exactly like that down to me saying do you remember saying you still love me and him looking me dead in the eye and saying you’re making that bullsh*t up. They feed off your self esteem like emotional vampires when I met him I was very confident in myself by the time we broke up my entire self worth had been based in his opinion of me. I read a quote about narcissists that is also true. They will convince you that you are the center of their world then tell you you aren’t good enough to be apart of it.
Waite should be president, lifting cheating Congressmen in the air like Darth Vader.
i actually suspected i was lovebombed by my last bf... im starting to realize it might be a blessing he is now my ex
I loved a man like this, tried everything in my power to "fix him." Absolutely devastating.
where did he find all that time tho? to have multiple women....that's what I always wonder.
Taylor Chantae they always find time honey lol ... right though, to go apartment shopping
Taylor, he doesn't have time for remorse, reflection, self improvement (believes is perfect). Has no internal life, no worries about the dear and near ones, is constantly looking for ways to fill his void, be the centre of attention. That gives him plenty of time. ;)
In the book, she mentions that he would "work" 15 hour days and would always leave her side due to "work" since he had just opened a new restaurant, she believed him.
Liz, my ex also worked many long hour days.... supposedly. Who knows what he was up to.
The hospitality industry has a lot of elbow-rubbing; when I worked at a hotel it was the ones I couldn't get to that hardly bothered me.
Ahahahah I find it incredibly satisfying that she's on television promoting a book that will, no doubt, be read by many; and "Marco" is still somewhere feeling empty and soulless. 😂🤣😄🤗 She triumphed from his failures! Fabulous!
Elisa Mastromarino good point
Lol sociopaths don't care about or feel bad about that he might even feel good like he is the only reason she is able to survive and thrive so she should thank him.
Elisa Mastromarino they don't feel empathy, he feels nothing. Period!
Elisa Mastromarino - I think “Marco” feels just terrific about the whole thing. He managed to get a legal Green Card because of this marriage (and although she didn’t mention it in this interview, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he is a full US citizen at this point), and then he managed to get out of his marriage easily and quickly when it no longer served any of his needs or interests to stay in it - and he even got out of having to act like a father (I ***would*** be surprised if he pays any child support). All of us know “Marco” IS empty and missing a soul, but that isn’t anything he will ever realize, much less something he will regret.
BUT ... there IS one way she COULD make him feel something, and that is by reporting to federal law enforcement that her ex-husband only obtained his Green Card by defrauding her, her family and friends, and the US government. If he isn’t a citizen yet, his Green Card would probably be taken away after a bit of investigation to confirm he illegally obtained a Green Card. I doubt his citizenship can be removed if he has already become a citizen, but that’s okay ... after investigation to prove he obtained his Green Card illegally, the US can put him in jail or (hopefully) even prison if we aren’t able to deport him! Admittedly, none of this would cause “Marco” to feel empty, but it would make him feel sorry for himself - and that’s what he deserves.
hello...I feel the same. Marco targeted an easy "mark" to get his green card. He could care less how she feels. She's dumb.
He sounds like a sociopath to me. Good for her she got out, people like that can be dangerous.
He wasn't just "living in New York illegally", he was living in America legally. That was her first red flag that she ignored because he gave her compliments. He married her to become a legal citizen. End of story.
kellyfeverxo
🤔When a person tells you that they are illegal...RUN!
Part of the story but definitely not the end of the story.
kellyfeverxo very true 💯
kellyfeverxo And got her pregnant to keep her trapped
Marriage does not guarantee safety for illegals btw
I had a similar experience on many levels but even with no contact from my ex my daughter grew up to be a sociopath herself and it's a pain I can't put into words. There is a genetic component which I didn't know.
Plot twist. She marries the broker.
sue she - We all hope she finds love for herself and her daughter. They are so much better than what happened to hem.
I thought the same thing.
😂😂
It's like, guys like that attract someone as hot as she is, then they throw it away--wait a minute, I had a hot blonde who threw me away which is why I was attracted to and read the book (nearly every page was like a smack in the face sometimes, but mine was nowhere near as bad as this).
That's what I was thinking too!
Rebuilding from the ground up.... classic recovery from a Sociopathic relationship. Thanks for sharing your story.
Sad she has a child with him, having a child with a narcissist and having to co-parent. I know ALL about it.
Amelia Myers wish you the best
Me too. Incredibly difficult.
Dr Ramani is the QUEEN!
Seems like people who trust blindly always get screwed over. Know the signs and leave when you first realize something is off. Her ex sounds like how my ex would act but with a more naive woman. I feel bad for her but hopefully she is wiser. Never trust anyone. Don't care if you are married. My ex hated me for having trust issues but turns out it was the best trait to have because I never gave him the opportunity to screw me over. First sign that he started to act funny, I left him and went home. God handled the rest and we broke up a few days after. I could not be happier. Glad im out of that relationship. Looking back now he was definitly a sociopath but my skeptical and untrusting nature made me see right through the bull. He wanted so badly to manipulate, control and break me down. I never allowed him too. I hope more women stop believing in the stupid disney crap. There is a motive for everything, including relationships. Unfortantly in her case he was using her for a green card. My ex wish he had something to use me for but I never allowed him. Did not invest a dime into his wallets lol. He tried to cheat but I suggested we both cheat on eachother together so I won't feel so left out lmao. Im way to crazy to be mest with
Kudos to the host, guest, Xerox the author of the reply
Awesome reply! I'm glad you saw through the stupid sociopathic games. Guys like this hate women they can't control.
XFendi Prada Im Happy For you that you survive being with samebody Like that"sleping with the enemi " but IT must have been emocionally and mentally draining ...you have to sleep with one eye Open😀😁😂
He is a narcissist.
Yup, the minute I heard lovebombing, I knew he was a Narc
Terese Woltz Me too! Sad thing is you can be with someone for 3 , 4 more years and not know until you start figuring things out
Yes he is.. it is a terrible thing to experience, I am in the midst of it myself with my narcissist wife now.
Lovebombing and gaslighting! Their 2 fav methods.
Mirroring and turning soulmates into cellmates. Their sleep patterns are often a dead giveaway. Predators usually hunt at night.
omg i want to read you book, thank you for standing up for the rest of us.. i lived this to the letter.. I felt mine was extreme narcissist, who wrote the manuel
THIS WOMAN IS SO STRONG!!!! Good for her! So articulate! So clear! So matter of fact. Bravo woman! Bravo!
Been there, was fooled for twenty years. Each time he had such a good explanation but also you can’t imagine someone would do that
It is imperative to acknowledge the pain sociopaths and cluster B personalties give you. No time for excuses but walking away completely from these monsters. I dated a toxic borderline and she was beyond abusive. Still healing from that traumatic experience.
It’s sad that trust is outdated in society today. Marriage is the ultimate trust relationship, wow 😯 awful. She’s beautiful
Scary situation - great interview & great memoir! Highly recommend Jen’s book, A Beautiful, Terrible Thing to the readers out there. I am so glad the guy is no longer in the picture.
sounds almost identical to my ex sociopath. theyARE predators. I confronted him about another woman and he BROKE UP WITH ME immediately after blaming me. he also lied about his father being in a coma and he lied about being a drug dealer. I think I may do a video on it one day.
Rene, please do if you are comfortable with it. The more words gets out the better. We have an epidemic of narcissistic/toxic behaviours. Luckily, there are plenty of people sharing their experience, helping out other victims. Good luck!
Megyn ask a question, then talks for 20 minutes explaining her question and what the answer should be....
Back in the mid 90s I dated this guy who I fell in love with but he had started being abusive and at the time I suspected he was cheating but I wasn’t sure 100%. We had this other couple that we were friends with, or at least I thought, and on at least two occasions I cried to her because I thought he was cheating on me. The last time I talked to her about it I was already thinking of leaving him I just needed the proverbial nail in the coffin, and I begged her through my tears to tell me if she knew that he had been cheating. The only thing that she would say was “well I have heard tell about it”... I did find out that it was the truth later on, and not only that, but he and his side chick had been hanging out and partying with her and her husband BEFORE I cried and begged her to tell me. A few years later a friend of mine sent me to this really cool bar and that same girl was a cocktail waitress there. She let us run up a bar tab and I “accidentally” skipped out on it. Oops.#AndIDon’tFeelBadAboutIt
Thank you for sharing this video. The last part really is very helpful in my situation at this time. Thank you.
my ex fiance and i were both in the military and i was away for two weeks and he cheated on me and broke up with me over text saying "he wasn't ready to be married" and then got married to the girl he cheated on me with a month later
Kaitlyn, that's so common behaviour for a narcissist. He did you a favour by removing himself from your life. You must have done something well in protecting yourself.
But anyway did you check what are your vulnerable points, core wound from childhood (John Bradshaw)? Are you an Empath, codependent, profesionally fullfilled?... Do you listen to your guts?
Please, discover that (and keep for yourself) before you meet the next one. At the beginning they are very convincing.
Best of luck!
It’s like they all have the same playbook I’m still not ok 1 year later
dah-lin maybe you had little to offer once you settled in the marriage.
Lechiffresix six Actually who are you to even write a comment like that when you don’t even have a clue obviously of ever being around a sociopath who is verbally and physically abusive. Ignorance is bliss I guess
Like everyone dating the same person
hahhahaha, my thoughts exactly!!!
@@PHlophe you're obviously a sociopathic, narcissist yourself.
They literally have no soul
Honorable Catsmeat Your so judgmental
They don't have a conscience, thus they have no soul. Psychopaths are not human as they lack empathy. They are automatons. Doppelgangers. They are typically abuse victims themselves.. proliferating a disease, destroying families, children, and anyone they contact. Psychopaths are self destructive, and their disorder prevents them from wavering off their path. It is sad. I pity such people, however they harm others purposefully. With intent. With knowledge. They just don't care. This makes them inherently evil.
Women need to trust their instinct more. Men need to make better choices. We should all do both.
Cmdr, that's interesting what you say. Recently, one narcissistic woman wanted to use me. Surprisingly in her gestures, ways she reminded me of another narc lady I knew for many years. When I refused her help she used the same two sentences the other used to manipulate me emotionally. Since that meeting, I believe they may host a Jezabel.
Yes, they know right from wrong, they don't care for others, but are a victims too. I have a compassion for them. And it is in their power to change.
R G my wife is a narcissist.. still with her, at least at the moment. Every day, every conversation, and interaction requires watchfulness and the active mind of an investigator. Nothing said by her can be taken for face value..and as she has lost her power over family as I exposed her, she still constantly tests boundaries. Her Chinese social culture and situation prevents her from discarding me... and with her families and friends awareness now, she is in a corner. If she leaves she is effed. If she stays she must put visible effort into improvement, or she knows I will leave her and take our 2yo daughter away too. Some days she is a sweetheart, especially when she wants something. Most times she is cold. It is a weirdly lonely state for me to be in. The other person is there, but not there. Then there are the frequent immature rage and narcissistic blowouts. In that state she literally has to be treated like a 2 year old. It is beyond exhausting. I have diagnosed cptsd. My wife's mother is here now, and despite not speaking the same language we've used translators. We are approaching this as a family medical matter. Her mom is a psychician, and I finally got through to her, made her understand her daughter's illness. The question is.. why.. I could just walk and find my sanity and health again. I don't know. Straight answer. We will see what happens. She agreed to therapy, though as with narcissistic people it is likely to not help. Time will tell, and should I give up, I can openly say I did all I could to make it work. The failure won't be on my shoulders, and if I am successful, just maybe a rare positive story can come out of this. I may not be well minded for stating.. if you knew the horrors and injuries I endured from her violence.. her family knows what she has done. I may feel alone, but in reality I'm not. I have my daughter, friends, and now family on both sides backing me.
A similar situation happened to me. It's been almost a decade now and I'm finally out thx to those willing to provide help in a number of different ways. You don't realize just how much you need to start your life over with no help and no resources. I've been amazed by the complete generosity of strangers that has opened the door to move forward. If you believe in a higher power please let that love guide you and perhaps consider opening your home or wallet. If you can't do that consider providing your time for childcare, transportation or offering a vehicle you no longer drive. There are SO many ways in which someone trying to "get out" of an abusive relationship needs help starting over. I believe we all have something to offer those in need, even when we are in need ourself 🙏😇💕
The man is Carlos Beltran. No relationship for him ever again I suppose LOL
That’s who she wrote the book about?
I follow him on Instagram he has a new girlfriend she’s Latina go figure he only wanted to marry a white woman was for the green card
@@jessicamarie8299 sad . And got her pregnant
I need to write a book. Her story sounds like a fairy tale compared to mine.
Yes, he doesnt at all seem servere enough to be a sociopath.
This happened to me as well- Emotional predators are very difficult to predict until, at least, most of the times, it is too late- This happens when the person you date, love and trust is not the person one marries- They can be the most charming, caring, loving, charismatic people- They are so good at figuring out what your needs are and while they target these needs and desires- reel you in! It is all in their plan- Most of all, if not all of the times, they will make you think that you are the crazy person, the one that is imagining this reality. I will say this: follow your gut instincts- If a person is constantly making you doubt yourself, not allowing you space for things that are important to you, isolating from friends and family- verbally abusing you because you deserve it and need to be taught a lesson- run for the hills! Just when I was getting stronger to make my move and leave I found out I was expecting- Not having the support of my family, away from home in a new city, I had to make the best of a terrible situation- One that I paid dearly for- I don't take divorce lightly, but, if you see such a pattern- plan and move on when the time is right for you. Don't think things will get better- They only get worse- I wished I knew then what I know now- There are 2 books I wished I had access to back in the day: "Stop Walking on Egg Shells" & "The Script" - and always be prepared- I view it as studying every night- Chances are you may not have that pop quiz but, wouldn't it be helpful and empowering if you came to class always prepared! Trust yourself and God first before anyone else!
She's gorgeous I don't know why he would cheat on her! But he was obviously just using her for a Green Card smh Typical!
Sociopaths don't care about beauty. They care about getting what they want and will step on anyone, even their own mother and children if necessary. Sociopaths are constantly looking for something shiny and new. They get tired of companions quickly and have the next picked out before ending things with the last. They're incapable of treasuring anything or anyone. Research sociopathy as it's quite interesting.
kestelle would it be ok to cheat on her if she was a less prettier white girl ?
Feels better to be kind you just described my ex
missychelle33 Sorry you went through this. I'm glad he's an ex. Make sure he remains an ex and I don't think you should let him anywhere near you even if appears as though he'd make a good friend, even if 15 years have passed lol. They're incapable of changing. Sandra Brown writes a great book on how to spot narcissists and sociopaths. I think all the single ladies and men should read it. These sickos go after loving individuals and will chew them up and spit them out. I've known quite a few and I've been the victim of a few but not romantically, they've been friends. Now that I know what to look out for I feel safer. All those who I've dealt with did come with big red flags but I was naive. Who doesn't want to be around someone who's fun and makes them feel great? Who isn't impressed with stories of how these people have overcome great odds? Who doesn't feel bad for the really sweet person whose entire family has turned on them because their evil (mother, father, brother or whoever) has lied about this sweet person? All these things were big red flags but I had no clue. If you search UA-cam for "Sandra Brown narcissist" you will find many videos. They're more educational than entertaining but they're fascinating.
Kat Estelle she is average looking giant white women.. She looks manly. It is 2018, blonde, manly looking pasty skin are not desirable.
I have dated two “Marcos” now. Thankfully I am so over one of them who ended up in jail...still working on sorting out all the other one’s sociopathic lies to get completely over it. So easy to attract traumatic relationships when your childhood was traumatic.
If they're extra-foxey it's almost impossible to turn away.
Wow, that story was a total shocker.
Wow, she must be so intelligent and love herself a lot for being able to get out of that relationship. I think a lot of women aren't sure of ourselves and thereby stay with him for far too long.
I love that psychologist 🙌. She's everywhere
ash yes she’s on YT she is brilliant 🗣🙏🏻
This is pretty common, it’s sad but it’s nothing out of the ordinary.
If you add the prevalence rate of sociopathy/psychopathy (APD) to that of narcissistic personality disorder, you get 8% of the population. That means about 1/16 people has no conscience, empathy, or the capacity for guilt or remorse. Even scarier is the fact that most psychopaths don't even fit the criteria for APD. A diagnosis of APD involves law breaking and contempt for authority, among other things. Most psychopaths are actually non-violent (they prefer to torture people psychologically and emotionally), and the more socially adept ones know better than to commit crimes and get caught, because getting caught means being exposed, and the biggest fear a predator has is that they'll be exposed. So the prevalence rate of APD is likely underestimated. We're entering an era where a significant portion of the population is either clinically diagnosable as narcissistic/psychopathic or sub-clinical (barely missing the criteria required for diagnosis). WE. ARE. F*CKED.
Happy to see Dr Durvasula on here. Her videos helped me tremendously in disengaging from a toxic relationship and setting healthy boundaries in my relationships; I hope this exposure will help others discover her - and a path to healthier relationships therein - as well ♥️
Been there. It’s still painful to think about 20 years later. But along with the pain there is also relief that I don’t have to subject myself to that person any longer.
Not everyone deserves a second chance!
yes good boundaries and no contact. Difficult if children involved
The Dr was amazing in her explanations and demeanor while explaining
He will do the,same thing to her eventually....same happened to me... you got out.....good for you
If it feels too good to be true then it’s too good to be true
This book and video are priceless. I do wish they had expounded more on the "personality" they refer to. They touched on the word sociopath, but going further with that, illuminating more about narcissism traits, which although they enumerated beautifully, never really connected to the personality DISORDER. Having gone through this to a devastating degree, I only WISH there was more blatant and bold truths about the mental illness that is a silent killer of the soul. I wondered countless times, "why hadn't anybody ever taught how to connect those dots; how to recognize mental incontinence. Its only AFTER the fact that one hopefully stumbles upon the truth of the psychotic bulldozer that just flattened your life.
Debbie, I couldn't agree more. Such disorders are so common now that parents should teach their children about them.
Constantly, I see that normal people can't believe how bad, mean, cruel narcissist can be.
R G Yes, and unfortunately narcissist has become an overused word that desensitizes the severity of the disorder.
I’m currently no-contact 1 year with my ex friend, female narcopath, and almost one year with my male, former lover narcopath this September. Life is so much lighter and better.
Anyone who needs a green card will do anything to get one - try to marry or if female get pregnant - I know a girl who is doing this and trying to get a guy on dating web sight to marry
y'all are focused on the green card as if it ought to have been his motive. he was 2 timing her , that's the real tea.
Lechiffresix six the thing is he never really loved her, their relationship was a lie and he probably only did start a relationship with her for the green card. Their whole relationship is like a lie....
@@PHlophe he is now getting engaged to a Latina woman he obviously only used this woman for the green card he never loved her. I follow him on his Instagram page.
@@liz2880 he is now getting engaged to a Latina woman he obviously only used this woman for the green card he never loved her. I follow him on his Instagram page.
3:38 This was the true first sign....she isn't too smart.
first of all i dont want to defend this fuy but i know alot of people who are married and one needs a green card and they have live together for a long time and they have 2 or 3 kids and they have there ups and downs like any couple , i dont think is about the green card is about cheating
Joe Cabrera they are two separate issues, yes. He still used her to get the green card and cheated.
Jaclyn M your right but it almost feel like they had a perfect life until he wanted to cheat , green card go's right in with house mortgage and baby and moving and visa to travel but we can assumed that that was he's plan lol and maybe your right
Joe Cabrera well he clearly doesn’t respect the green card his ex-wife gave him, because he cheated with multiple women.
Fast forward this guy is now legal here and is getting married to a Latina woman. Typical Latinos who only use women for green card once they get it they are gone.
Sadly, makes me think of my mother. She eventually got out, after over 30 years of exposing her family to a monster.
Many men cheat like that!
Orange8763153 no, we are saint and pure🤣🤣🤣🤣
Everyone’s got a life a choices which creates their individual world. Plenty of nice guys and nice girls who want love. Trust your instinct
Orange8763153 People cheat.
Statistically men cheat more than women, just Google it.
I read Jen waites book in hours. Less then 5 at least. It was incredible addicting, thought provoking and gut wrenching. It was terrifying as she unraveled his lies. Definitely recommend her book. Still think about it till this day.
Sometimes every page was a problem; a lot of these people, though, want to come here to work, to make money; you can't bash them for that, really, it's the same situation they would face in their home country which apparently sucks worse than ours.
This kind of situation I would never dare blame a woman for finding herself in this position. Even a man for that matter. But despite charm and the in person reactions that fill your head. I seriously stress to read body language. And tho still difficult in person to detect look at his body in those pregnancy pictures. U can see how there is almost no feeling and just the stiffness. I'll admit my man is awkward in front of the camera but even then u can still see in his mannerism in pictures his feelings towards me and the care... I feel for her. Congrats for finding your way out!
Love Dr. Ramani. (name for sure?) I’ve been watching her videos on narcissism. I believe my husband is narsisitic and she’s helping me tremendously.
God bless you and your lovely daughter, God watch over you, take one day at a time ♥️♥️
Something so similar happened to me. The hardest part is to get out of the denial. But totally relate to the fact of feeling overjoyed to just have an answer. Biggest thing. Know your worth, don’t trust right away, and if you have a gut instinct listen.
Wow, it seems like I've dated quite a few Sociopaths from the characteristics described
I've been through a very similar experience and I am still trying to recover...a year later I'm still having PTSD from everything while he lives with his happy new wife & 7 month old baby. Yeah...sociopaths are so evil.
Courtney Shaine He needs new narc supply..Don't take it personally! Happens to the best of us.He is truly numb,sick,to be pitied..Don't let this define you,heal.Success is greatest revenge!
"he vanished" = he's out there multiplying the damage to many others. Some others will not be so lucky.
She is so well spoken.
A friend of a friend found out her husband was living a double life by googling his name and baby shower invites popped up on. They were baby shower invites to his baby shower with his girlfriend.
Insulting appearance?? She is beautiful. Made me feel better hearing that. My mans tore me down for a year now.
The web lies.. They actually believe their own lies after a while.
Things like this is why I’m hoping to be friends with my future partner before I date them. When you’re friends with someone for awhile, you see who they really are.
Went through the same thing :/
its happening now to me. im sick of the lies on top of lies
Magan's voice is so soothing
Chris Watts. This woman is so lucky it ended like it did.
I wonder how many affairs begin with and/or have alcohol/drugs involved. I am so ashamed that I cheated twice in my 20's and it ALWAYS involved alcohol say at a party starting out and most of the time. I became sober and I have NEVER wanted or had a desire to cheat on my partner of 6 years-EVER! I have also been cheated ON so I believe years of self-reflection, getting healthy and finding someone who can fulfill my needs(ALL of them lol) is how I changed the destructive behavior!!! You can get better and sadly the guilt never goes away but it does help that my ex-fiance forgives me and knows I was not well. He is a good man and I am so happy he found another love. COMMUNICATE everyone! My guy and I have learned to respectfully talk when we are lonely or frustrated. I love him so much:) #cheating #communication #affairs #lifepartner #happiness #healthandsobriety
True!
Same story here,little self love, worth,respect,boundaries forself~ Carrying over into other people.Not realizing my power..I got alot of help.Apologized and forgiven,forgotten! Life is so short& beautiful when with the right partner.Our brains are still growing until our late 20s as well,playing catch up with the body😇☮️🤓
This is such a relatable story, and one that happens to so many women. My own story was similar in some respects, and I remember feeling that I wished that the realtor in my story had been able to be more compassionate. She sold a home to my husband and me at the same time she was working to find a home for him and his girlfriend. It still boggles my mind.
Just wow. People are so wicked.