Signs You're Dating a Psychopath
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- Опубліковано 18 чер 2020
- In this eye-opening interview, MedCircle host, Kyle Kittleson, and psychologist, Dr. Seth Meyers, discuss the signs of dating a Psychopath. They will also address the following questions....
- What is a psychopath?
- What is the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?
- What are some common examples of psychopathy?
- What are the signs of a psychopath during flirting / the signs you're being hit on by a psychopath?
- Why does a psychopath act the way they do when they interact with someone romantically?
- Who do psychopaths tend to prey on when it comes to dating?
- Sex and the psychopath: why is the dynamic different?
- Does a psychopath use sex for power?
- What are the effects of a relationship with a psychopath?
- What are the signs your PARTNER has previously dated a psychopath?
#mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #psychology #psychopath #psychopathy #psychopathic
Watch the rest of this exclusive video series on psychopathy, personality disorders & relationships instantly HERE: bit.ly/3dgx28P
I got a lot of helpful information from this guy if you offended by what has been said then you just got busted im not offended in any way what so ever people who comment and are offended Pushed the psycos buttons
How do I know the difference between a psychopath and a narcissist it seems very similar?
More from Dr Seth Meyers please! I wish he was my therapist.
MedCircle great to hear for you and me because I’m so exhausted from the pangs in my stomach all day from remembering the betrayal the manipulation and the abuse..happy for ya friend!
none of the nones troll
Bottom line: If something feels weird, it is weird. TRUST YOUR INTUITION!!! It's the only thing they cannot control. Gut instict. Survival instict.
It will always feel weird like something is off when dealing with one
Dont judge a book by its cover, not everything is as it seems because your paranoid
The gut is the second brain. Some say the first.
well said
That's called prejudice
Becuase we were taught not to judge people and to give everyone a chance. Trust your gut ladies.
And gentleman.
Nope, not me. Nobody gets a second chance after red flags 🚩 start popping out. Been through enough and experience will change the “2nd chance B.S.”. However, some people never learn.........and continue to get HURT
I think you are right! How many time have there been stories that people always wanted to stay “polite” by staying in a relationship, date or even stay in a friendship!
@@gal2727 🎯🎯🎯
@Eris Did you change your number? When you think someone's off the best way to stop talking to them is to just stop talking to them. Block them and change your number if you have to. Don't tell them you don't want to talk anymore lol.
I had a relationship with a narcissist. I can’t tell you how damaging relationships with these people are. It’s beyond what I thought possible. It’s been 3 years since I went no contact with him and I’m still healing and will be for a long time.
Me too. He is extremly manipulative.
How can you spend so much time with that type of person . Wouldn’t you know in the beginning that they are narcissistic ?
@@sunnydaze2359 I would highly suggest that you educate yourself on narcissism. I’m not saying that with any malice but if you knew you wouldn’t be asking this question. I knew of the word before meeting this person but I knew very little about it. Anyone who hasn’t had personal experience with one just has no idea and will never understand completely what kind of damage occurs.
Same here. It will be 3 years for me in May & I am still shocked that I am picking up the pieces of my life and still just trying to find who I am again to this very day. I still have at least one thought of my ex every day (not missing them at all...just like ruminating thoughts about the way something went or whatever...mostly just wondering how my puppy is doing since they stole my dog from me & with the financial situation they left me in at the time, there really wasn't anything I could do about it despite my best efforts to fight back). Genuinely wishing you healing and peace on your journey...And most importantly, I wish you self-love and that you would know your inherent worth simply bc you exist and are uniquely YOU. I know that's been the hardest for me...trying to figure out who the heck I even am anymore and learning to love myself-or at the very minimum, at least learn how to stop blaming & berating myself. It's an excruciating, insidious battle that only those of us who have walked it can even fathom and I'm wishing the best things for you as you go along in your journey. Someone once told me this and it's the one thing I try to hold onto when I'm full of self-doubt, pain, or bitterness...
"You may not get to actually see or hear about them suffering the consequences that their actions create in their own life-and on the surface, it may LOOK like there aren't any, but rest assured, the biggest punishment for them is simply that they are who they are." It's pure torture inside for them to be the shitty, disgusting, empty, devoid of empathy "human" that they are...even if they put up a facade & are good at hiding it.
Take care x
I think one reason why the initial flattery is soo over-the-top is also because psychopaths just know that only people who can be potential victims will fall for it. It's a kind of selection process before starting their real work.
Wwooooowww!!Thank you so much for this comment.
That would make sense.
Very true. Flattery and put down don’t work for me, instead, they put me on guard. I have never dated a narcissist or psychopath. I certainly come across a few at work and social and keep them at arm’s length.
Agreed
Flattery can be genuine. What a pity we prefer to keep quiet about what we find attractive in other people. Over the top flattery feels false. There is a big difference.
In my experience, they try to shut you down as a human little by little. Telling you that you talk too much, feel too much, care too much, emote too much, work too much, clean too much, talk to your friends too much, eat too much, drink too much, exercise too much, etc. Eventually, you just shut down everything in order not to annoy them. Then you end up a miserable captive.
Good description, but that also sounds like what a covert narcissist does as well. I wonder what the difference is between a narcissist and a psychopath? Can anyone help?
If you take them seriously you'll lose, just laugh it off and do what "seems" to border them twice into their face.
Nah that's narcissism
They constantly criticize and put you down
And then when you do it to make them happy they turn and sat you do too much of that. I went from too muscular to too fat to too skinny
"They're saying the words but you're not feeling an emotion match up with it" - absolutely fascinating!!
It’s true. Only time they feel, is for themselves.
People hide emotions
Really people should educate themself on that topic before they start dating
@@maritkaa007 I'm superstraight and now I'm labeled as a homophob. Liberals are a strange cult .
Literally what I felt when hearing Dahmer's final statement.
You don’t try to fix other people, you need to protect yourself. Don’t allow yourself to get emotionally involved too early. Don’t sleep with them if you don’t know them. When you see a problem, be honest with yourself. What is their background? Do a background check. Talk to their friends-if they have any. Be careful-they are out there looking for kind people who have empathy and will try to fix them. Lonely-get a dog. If they ask for money-run. If they want to move in with you too soon, don’t let them.
Great advice!
When a person constantly talks badly about their ex's,RUN.
Or just talk about ex, doesn't matter good or bad
Disagree big time. Have you ever married a serial killer or narc or someone very sick? If not then you have no idea. These people cause remotional reactions like the doctors said. Didn’t you listen to the end? It’s difficult not to be trigger when they are still in your family and screwing their family members too as his brother in laws little sister. These people are vultures and study you for years.
Run when it SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRue or you will end up like me. This is not that black or white. Even experts like attorneys, law enforcement and therapist! I studied this shit!
Why
Al Glavic what if the ex was psychopat? Still I can't talk bad about him? 😉😉
I dated a psychopath for just 3 months. I caught him in one lie after another and broke up with him. He spread lies about me all over town, and almost strangled me to death. The one sign I will look for now is when someone is overwhelming with compliments and coming on too strong.
i feel so bad reading this... i’m glad you’re alive
You're right! too many compliments and too much flattering! Too much passionate (the excuse? I am like that!). We must always follow our instinct. I didn't, but luckily I was too strong for him and he disappeared.
Glad to hear you are okay.
I get automaticity weirded out if someone comes on too strong. We should trust our instincts in these situations.
I had to learn that the hard way too. Now men call me stuck up when I say I hate getting hit on in public. Its so uncomfortable
I dated a psychopath. He was so good to me and I thought I had met the best person in the world. Every single day with him was good. He was my gentle place to land, he was incredibly sweet, and my friends and family adored him. We were together for 3 years. One day out of the blue, he looked at me with cold dead eyes. It still gives me chills to think about the unmistakable look of a psychopath when they show you who they really are. He said "This is the real me." He left me with zero empathy. No explanation. No emotion at all. I've never seen a person look like that. The pain was intense and I feel forever changed. I'm afraid to be happy. I'm afraid any happiness I feel now will end up being fake. Psychopaths are charming and they are manipulative predators that make you doubt your own ability to discern what's real and what's not. Thank you for this video. I wish I had seen it sooner.
Jesus Christ. Idk if I’m over thinking it but i fear I am in your position. Sweet man who spoils me, but who knows I am/was in a vulnerable position and has said things initially that set off an alarm in my head... I know what my gut feels but I keep denying it in hope of something better or that I’m maybe wrong... but I know never to doubt myself and that I am always right...
💯👏👏👏
@@iLoveTheBamx what are some red 🚩 for you?
PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CJS DOES NOT PROSECUTE THESE EVIL BEASTS SO THEY ALLOWED TO ROAM FREE AND DESTROY OTHERS. THERE NEEDS TO BE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT WITHIN RELATIONSHIPS TAUGHT AND IF BROKEN, SANCTION, SUE, CALL THE POLICE. I BET THAT THERE WILL BE A LOT OF PEOPLE STRAIGHTENING UP THEIR ACTS WHEN THEY KNOW THAT THEY CAN BE SANCTIONED OR THROWN IN JAIL!!
Why you been sure he was..msybe he just lost intetest..3 years its deadline passion
I briefly dated someone who clearly had psychopathic traits. He truly scared me at times and instead of apologizing, he was offended when I told him so. He also wanted to move our relationship *waaaay* too fast.
Omg this happened to me too! Quickly turns the tables. It’s such a horrible experience once you’re in it
Whooooaaa! Red flag right there. Good job trusting those instincts!
sameeee😢
This sounds familiar to me also- the turning the tables on you. It feels so invasive, and twisted. The sense of they're violating my emotions, my perception of things, my boundaries. This person really liked to do this, make himself the victim, when he was the offender. He was so manipulative, he got me to feel sorry for him. To the point of apologising to him, when he was lying, and hiding things from me and more. He made me feel tied up in knots, couldn't even respond in the moment, as my sense of reality was being messed with, I needed time to disentangle myself, separate my feelings from his, and respond appropriately. He showed up in my life, and asked me out, in the end, he acted and said I was "disturbing" him with my reactions. Well excuse me for having a normal human reaction to my being disrespected and mistreated.i
Sameeeee
I was raised by a psycho narcissist. I attracted people like this my whole life. I didn’t snap out of in until I was about 34. The self hatred is real. I’m 38 now and I’m still angry with myself for not seeing the red flags. I neglected my gut and intuition. That realization creates a different kind of trauma. It makes you question everything about yourself. I trust no one now, I can’t even hug a new person. Healing from this kind of abuse will take more years than what I have left to live.
Omg
So sorry for you. Maybe having more empaths in your social circle will help you heal sooner ?
No no. Don't be angry at yourself. I had same- and snapped out of it at 49! You're still young. I was so glad to have the information, can see it coming from a mile away now. I only let lovely people in, have shut a lot of doors and have good friends- good people. The information you have, the experience, it's gold. you know more about human nature. A lot of people stay in destructive relationships all their lives. You have been given a gift. Now, red flags- run fast. That's friends and partners.
What angers me is all the system that keep child hostages of their narcisistics parents. I was raised by one and like...my closest relative outside the nuclear family literaly was a psicologist who worked on the government lawn system to decide wich families were good to the kid. And she mised it. I had literaky a social worker, psycologist on my closest surroundings and nobody see how bad it is. But maybe thats a brazillian reality.
@@acabral2651 That's a global reality. Read my post above- you can turn it around for yourself. No point being angry, it's like yelling at the wind. people are messed up, some people should not parent. Please, don't poison yourself over their decisions. Make a wonderful life. Start with yourself. Go swimming, dancing, walking in nature. These things are real life> Only get a pet if you have time and money. (they are expensive and need you, like kids)- but help with others animals. Once you feel good, good will happen. Bitterness and anger- only hurts you.
Now it makes sense why I’ve never dated a psychopath. Whenever people come on too strong, I run away.
same, lovebombing feels very uncomfortable for me, i can see that it’s just a manipulative ploy
Wise
Yah,u r expert.
Smart!
i'm a nice guy that can come on too strong because i know exactly what i want when i see it. But yeah i guess it's kinda creepy so i'll tone it down a bit next time.
20 years married to a narcissistic psychopath. Been divorced from him 28 years now. Still healing. No romantic relationship since. Can’t bring myself to risk hooking up with another. The fear is still there. I have been through counseling, EMDR treatment, hypnosis, but the fear of another relationship scares the hell out of me….still. He did a lot of damage.
No comment
Sending healing energy to you. Your message was the one that moved me to do what I need to do to be no contact from the psycho in my life
Same 10 years and been single coming up to 4 years now. Met a great guy but continued to sabotage the relationship because I couldn’t bare the thought of hurting the e same way so anytime we had a little disagreement which was nothing compared to the Narc I would run. I can’t have a relationship again I’m too damn scared of relationships
Speaking healing into your life. I can relate.
@@fredrikamcpherson7988 .....sad isn't it. We are the recipients of horrible narcissist abuse. They say a narcissist is either born that way with a defective brain, or they suffered unbelievable abuse mentally/physically, or , and this one (I believe) is what happened to my once husband, a over the top doting mother. She spoiled him to the point he believed he was a GOD! I'm NOT EXAGGERATING. SHE WAS F'ING NUTS! At the end of her life, she was in a nursing home. He wouldn't even go see her. He would be "inconvenienced" if he had to take time out of his life to do that. Typical Narcissistic Sociopath.
"It is not necessary for aggression or violence to be present in order to commit evil, simply lacking empathy and understanding is enough." That right there is key to understanding a psychopath, is understanding that they operate from an empty space...thays why they devour others emotions...because they don't really have any
I dated a psychopath he was extremely narcissistic, I took a long time to heal , but now I’m much stronger .
I successfully revenged. Feels faaaaaantastic! :)
I've dated several and even married one!!! :-O
@@rupalitupe7783 My advice is stay single for a long time. As mentioned in the vid, they prey on your weaknesses. I discovered areas of trauma I wasn't even aware of. I've been alone for 5 & 1/2 yrs (since I had my son) & am feeling pretty bullet proof. For me it has taken that long b/c the trauma as a teen was so bad and complicated. But you need to feel like you don't need another person to feel complete. That way, if someone treats you shit (as they do when they have an off moment, ie. the mask slips) you can say, ''Bye!!'' and never go back but instead go forward and find someone else who treats you like you're truly special all the time. Also, take time to get to know someone, mimic old school dating. Best of luck and blessings for the future xxoo
I didn't know there could be a combination of narc and psy. Could you elaborate? I know the smirk when the narc has when hurting what's the difference in the combination?
Sam Vaknin describes somatic narcissist who get their attention from sex. Very much like this.. He wrote a great book Malignant Self Love
This should be taught in ALL schools! These people ruin lives. I was married to a narcissist for 30 yrs and felling to a relationship with a psychopath. I finally learned at age 52.
TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard to put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what. That is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband's phone and I got access to all his phone Call logs, Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email, i-cloud and social media chats without touching his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover kissing, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Florida, USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking, background check up and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this great hacker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text him directly on his phone and via Whats-app : +1 (202) 697-7171. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.
My friend's wife planted child porn on his computer and called the FBI because she was done using him. He did 5 years in federal prison. She was so good as faking being human. She was one of my best friends and screwed me over too after I gave her a free place to live. We started tracing all her friendships and found out who she really was. It's unbelievable.
@@bobbiwilliam6811 LMAO the beginning of this drew me in until I realised it's spam.. 💀💀💀
30 years??
@@bobbiwilliam6811 Did you have to pay?
When we are children our parents negate our perceptions. We are told we don’t know what we’re talking about. This sends a message to us children to not trust our own observations. It took me years to recover from my childhood trauma and finally realized I was correct in my perceptions 💯%. This really damages our self esteem and trusting who we are. I went no contact from my family of origin many years ago.
Felt. My mom conditioned me to be a co-dependent with impostor syndrome and it took me yeeeeeears to even begin to trust my gut versus convince myself that I'm being "silly" or "dramatic."
Sorry you had to go no contact, but I'm glad you have made a great recovery :)
I went no contact with my mother in the 1970's! There wasn't the internet or people talking about how this was even an option. Yes it very hard to not belong to a family- yet soooooo much worse to be with a sick/ dysfunctional one!
This is so refreshing to hear... I am going through the same thing and felt guilt about going no contact. Also I was becoming more depressed from how noone wants to legitimise the trauma i was put through my entire childhood and adolescence... So letting go of them was the beginning of my healing process but it's still so hard.
I woke up about my family some years ago. In reality I've always felt that someting was odd and wrong but even in the environment where we lived. I've always want to escape or someone to take me and save me. But I'm not sure if now I'm messed up too. I think there Is a large part of me that is toxic. When I'm feeling fine Is the only time when I'm miles away from them but in reality they are always present in my mind or in my beaviour.
Not to mention the fact that here in Italy, if you stop seeing your parents and sibilings, you are considered an asshole and for everyone YOU are the wrong.
Sometime I just want to end my life and my suffer.
Glad to ear that you recover and that I'm not crazy about my gut feelings. Big hug.
I don't recall my parents telling me this. I do remember being asked (on more than one occasion) "why are you so annoying?" 😆. Maybe I was, lol!
As I'm too old now, I decided the safest way for me forward after my narcissistic psychopath died a year ago, is to stay single. I just don't want to go through this pain ever in my life again. I always thought that I don't want to grow old alone, but after this, being alone is just wonderful.
After such experience, you catch toxic patterns and red flags very early in new people you meet. It's like why does he sound like my ex husband during idealization period. Well, he does because he's a psychopath lovebombing and grooming you. You're free to detach and walk away after a little conversation with them. But it's better to be safe and secure at old age.
YES.
Be VERY wary of the constant, immediate personal questions. They aren't trying to bond with you, they are gathering intel.
THIS.
You can tell if the questions make you feel invaded or not
Harsh
Angela Wegner
I mistook his eager interest for being smitten with me but I misread the signals, he was just playing it up. Gals be wary of their motives, especially when they catch you off guard or by surprise. If it doesn’t feel right then it’s not. Trust your gut
@@phoenixrising8007 So basically a guy who's gaming women to get pussy -> normal guy.
Guy who's gaming women to get their money -> psychopath.
Woman who games guys to get their money -> normal woman... does this compute???
Here's my experience of dating a psychopath for the past 4 years(broken up recently)
1.extremely charming in the beginning and thorough out the relationship(whenever he wanted something from me)..knows how to say the right thing at the right time but eventually it started sounding fake
2.cheating and lying..has had affair with 4 ladies which I have never known..every word that came out from his mouth was a lie.
3.sex is just sex..never love making.no emotional attachment..emotionally absent throughout the relationship in general
4. physical and verbal abuse and blackmails whenever I tried to leave or tried to be more independent.
5.no remorse when got caught cheating..said it's ok.not a big deal.doesnt feel empathy for anyone.no sense of guilt
6. Extremely greedy for money n fame
I think psychopaths are extremely dangerous to be in a relationship. .dont ignore the signs and dont hesitate to leave if you suspect your partner to be a psychopath.
Well said!
All the traits I've studied in those kind.
And collect evidence of abuse, threats just in case you may need to get help from the law. I had to.
@Paradigm Climb Not quite but have demons inhabiting them. The worse thing is having children with such person since you have to deal with him/ her until child is grown up.
@@soniag4516 OMG 😳! ... I have no words ! It’s tough
One thing I've notice about narcissists and psychopaths is they dont like kissing, long hugs or any type of close physical intimacy.
My ex narc never kissed me or his mom, or anyone.
They'll do it when put on the spot or feel its expected to keep up appearances, but never willingly.
YES
First guy I dated after relationship ended with suspected psychopath, I got very upset about something and was like sobbing in front of this new guy and then I braced myself for the reaction I usually got when I was emotional, which was criticism, invalidation of feelings, blame, or just confusion, and instead got sympathy and I was shocked. I had been with decent people before, obviously, but I basically forgot that most people feel bad when someone is sobbing in front of them.
Amen, I understand completely! God bless you, stay safe.
I understand what you describe too 😢
Most people want to comfort someone who is crying. Unless they are crying crocodile tears to avoid being held accountable for doing something wrong. There's a difference.
Take your sweet time getting to know people. Reserve your dark stories for yourself and people you trust who show you empathy. Every time you hang out with someone new, write a journal entry about it. WAIT until you see them again. Think about how you felt while you were together. Healthy boundaries brings healthy relations. Anyone who pushes your boundaries doesnt have your best interests at heart. Anyone who rushes into sex, or asking deep personal questions is not thinking about your safety.
I mostly agree with you but want to add that as an empath, I always ask people lots of questions... Some deep and personal because I want deeper connections and I care about people. So not ALL who ask questions are psychopaths.
Christian One i think it’ll depend how soon you ask because I’m the same way.
I agree that we may want to ask people deeply personal questions but as empaths we also need to have healthy boundaries. Intimacy and trust is built, not interrogated. And others with healthy boundaries might not want to answer those questions right away. And that doesnt mean anything negative necessarily.
@@marleyofficialmedia I agree.
@@christianone6611 I still see what you are saying, though. It makes sense!
They will isolate you from your friends! Also, lies, lies, lies, and more lies, all types of lies.
Been there too, sadly more than once.There is nothing worse than feeling alone, while in a relationship. I have been single a few years now, I am very happy and will stay this way. Being a couple is not for me anymore.
@Winter Sun Two of a kind, but enjoying your own company, leaves you content 😚
@@ShoJ369 too many lies
You're right. I'm married to someone like this right now. He'd lie and try to convince you the sky is red when we all know it's blue. My husband is always telling B.S. stories like "The mailman left me a note praising me for cleaning the snow away from the mailbox." When asked to see the "note" he got angry. Of course, he did.
I need to get out of this relationship and as soon as things with COVID change, I will.
@@holiday-td6hx I'll pray for you. It's lies on top of lies. Even stupid ones. Please be safe
When he says to make sure your next partner knows what you went through (with a psychopath or narcissist) that's something to do with caution. Many narcissists and psychopaths seek out people who have already been abused because they know that they're pre-qualified to be open to manipulation. They will act very concerned and caring and then use everything you told them to manipulate you again. That happened to me, twice, until I fully healed using a trauma recovery programme designed to heal narcissistic abuse completely (Melanie Tonia Evan's NARP programme) You need to wait until you're sure that you're with a decent and normal person before you recite your relationship history in such detail. Then it can be used as a place to build trust from not as a stepping stone into further abuse.
Lord, ain't THIS the truth!!! Thank you for your post, God bless.
Thank you for posting this. It's a very important point. If I ever date again (and to be honest I may never have an intimate relationship again because of the trauma from the "relationship" with the Narcissistic Psychopath), I will be wary of sharing my past with them for the reasons you describe. Another reason is that I don't want to feel stuck in victim mode, either with myself or in the eyes of my partner. I prefer to see myself as an unfortunate target who is doing their best to heal and has learned a lot from a horrific experience.
Yea this just happened to me. We bonded over having been abused by others then he just did the same stuff. Ive just ended things.
1st partner was a narcissist, 2nd was a clinical psychopath (formally diagnosed after things ended) who said and did all the right things when I was in a vulnerable state due to the abuse of the 1st one. As a result I'm not sure I'd want to tell anyone in the initial phases of a relationship what I've been through again as I'm positive this is exactly what the psychopath found 'attractive " about me in the 1st place. Then again I don't really let people get close to me any more after all of that, let alone start new relationships so it's kind of a moot point for me at least
I agree. I was spent 30+ years trapped in a psychopathic relationship like this. It feels so good to break FREE!
The problem with this is that you assume that a psychopath’s behavior is predictable. A psychopath is a social chameleon who knows how to blend in with the crowd when they want to. They can make themselves appear natural when they want to. They can hide their intentions very effectively. They can master their self control with practice. So.....GOOD LUCK SPOTTING ONE!
Also, it is important to note that, not all social chameleons are psychopaths..
However, once in a while, their mask will slip or you will feel their vibe and realize their intent.
Trying to protect myself out in these streets lol. I have a narcissistic mother so figured I'd arm myself with knowledge of all these dangerous personality disorders. Stay safe folks, they walk among us
They are like vampires living amongst us
They're everywhere.
That's a really negative way of looking at it. There are people with personality disorders who abuse other people and there are people with personality disorders who don't abuse other people. People with schizoid personality disorder dont even like forming close bonds or relationships. They often prefer working alone and are content spending lots of time by themself. I'm throwing this out there because you may end up offending somebody by generalizing your past experiences around the idea that people with personality disorders are abusive
@@jiltedlittle6868 That's true, thanks for adding that. I didn't mean to generalize, it was a video on dating a psychopath so I thought it was implied I was talking about those that abuse their partners/family members. There are definitely people with personality disorders who don't abuse others for sure!
Yep, both my parents are narcissists (thankfully not malignant narcissists) and I'm a freakin' magnet. You stay safe, as well, Lydia E!
I had to go to intense therapy because of how bad I got messed up. Every once in a while a simple thing can make me tick and feel extremely anxious. Even after all the therapy I went through it’s something that I’m not sure will ever heal. Feeling completely used and dumped by someone you completely loved is the worst feeling.
Just getting away from him.. trying to. He won't stop. But yes, same. Heartbroken by the tinman... but yes.. I feel like I don't know who or what's real anymore. He wanted to make me think I was crazy.. and to be honest, he almost got me there 100%. I was the perfect target.. I'm an empath. Opposite of what he was and the easiest person to take advantage of.. or so he thought.
Hope you and your heart heal fully in time. Not all ppl are monsters.
In fact I used to believe that most ppl are more light than dark. I would like to believe that's true again 💔
The guy started asking questions about my relationship with my parents, and other personal questions. He instantly got my weak points, and started to play on them. They catch your weak points, and create personality based on yours needs and insecurities. It hurts afterwards, but also makes you realize your weak points, on which people can manipulate.
The excessive flattery is called "love bombing." They mirror your likes and act as though they like the same things. I dated one of these vile creatures once. Something seemed off at the beginning, but I didn't understand till 3 months down the line. That's when I started learning about psychopaths.
Well there’s also a difference between that and people who feign interest to send the message, “I like you a lot, I am interested in you.”
Like tons of times I have a conversation with girls in my classes over the years where you’d express interest in something completely obscure to everyone in the room, then later these people would inquire about it and say hey that’s pretty interesting and blah blah blah so they can just get a chance to talk to you.
Is it psychopathic to employ this method of social strategy? No. It’s simply just giving leeway for these people to enter into your own headspace so you can be introduced to them.
However, yes. You’re right. If they do this in the long run and then suddenly drop interest in the topic, showing they never cared in the first place. Yes, that’s completely fucked.
If you have had any experience with a sociopath, you can tell the difference between flattery and pretending to have a common interest to love bombing. Love bombing is really over the top. Also, they must tick several other boxes to be sociopathic. For instance, there is usually a pattern of pathological lying, even when it's more convenient to tell the truth. They are often extremely charming, and they play victim to get you to feel sorry for them. Their pity stories are completely made up. I only know these things because I embarked on a course of study of sociopaths after I inadvertently dated one in 2008. Sadly, they are so convincing and sincere sounding that it takes getting played by one before you can recognize them.
Yes! They pretend to like the same things as you, and once they know you're not gonna leave them, they start to show their true face and likes. At least the one I dated was pretty basic, I didn't "fell in love" with him, the person I met in the beginning was just a character. I understand that I ended up with him because of my low self-steem, but my experience with that type of person taught me that at least I have my own personality and I'm beautiful. I think I had to hit rock bottom with that piece of shit to realise how valuable I am. Now that I blocked him, I feel really good and my life has changed for good :)
damn ur so smart , took me 10 years with a psycopath friend to finally get him away from me.
vile creature lolll
To the next person, my advice: move SLOWLY.
Run
Absolutely !
a psychopath will move slowly as well if they really want something of yours.
I AGREE!! Here in Brazil.
You're right. They try to sweep you off your feet. Taking it slow is a good way to interrupt their charade. At least, it allows us to examine the situation and set boundries.
“Circus sex” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that’s a brilliant term!! ❤
And indeed it is.. and it only gets better when you attempt to leave them..
Left a psychopath relationship just recently. Relationship was on and off for 3 years, never felt so confused in my life. Very toxic, love bombing, gaslighting, narcissistic tendencies. I may admit I am a workaholic and didn’t have a place at the time; being codependent. Just glad I survived, but still healing.
Take your time in relationships, don’t trust easily, don’t let your emotions dictate your logic and analytical reasoning. Be aware of people who compliment a lot and want to move fast and meet in private places. Trust your guts.
God bless.
“They know the words but not the music” is a famous saying from Without Conscience by Robert Hare.
That's a perfect description.
The difference in someone saying to someone "you're the most beautiful person I've met in my whole life" and "you're beautiful" is subtle but pretty significant. The former brings an element of narcissism into the statement, ie the person saying it is putting themselves first by making them the "judge" of your beauty, and this puts pressure on you to meet their expectations/standards. However, saying to someone "you're beautiful" is a lovely throwaway, unconditional gesture which makes the other person just feel special, with no obligations at all.
Guys have you noticed anytime you leave a lower narcisist the greater narcisist comes through to finish the job the lower one couldn't...
In the midst of leaving the 2nd narc in a row.ive been with. Truth! So much.worse.the second time. The stuff he said truly makes.me.think demonic influence.
Absolutely !!!
@Zen Alegra True. After I was abused by a psychopath my narc ex seems like an angel in comparison.
New levels new Devils, indeed!
@@vikvegas8593 currently discarding a psychopath who caused so much trouble I got kicked out of my apartment I got to get away from my covert narc ex.. now I'm back at my first exe's bc my parents live far out of town, and I have no friends due to being isolated from them bc of first ex.. I am literally back having to put my life back together, keep sane and heal in the place that almost broke me.. while also having my new ex gaslight me and threaten me and the ex I now live with bc he thinks we are screwing and that's why I went back.. the one I live with is trying to pressure me to take him back, even tho I know he's a covert narcissist.. I'm standing firm on my hard NO.. I'm so stressed and depressed I'm literally on the verge of a mental breakdown from living like this and trying to love again get myself out of this situation and back to myself.. I don't know what to do bc even my therapist doesn't seem to understand the depths of the narc abuse I've been thru in my life, and I don't want medication, which is all they usually offer.. Idk what to do..
I was married to a psychopath. Controlling, isolating, he lacked empathy, lacked remorse, he was very hostile and had self serving behaviors through and through. I was too young to realize what I was getting into. He was handsome and charming, and like you said excessively flattering, especially to me & my family initially. I was so lucky to get away. Listen to those inner voices that warn us. Trust yourself. Trust that there are great people out there. Don’t blame yourself. Even see a counselor if need be. They can help you trust your instincts.
Catherine Somerville,You deserves better
You continued to date that too while all the real men you felt they were off and something wrong with them but the psychopath you felt safe lol
@@therealwewin that’s so stupid to say because Psychopaths present themselves as perfect and “nice” to get what they want. It’s only years later that people start to realise they’ve been bamboozled.
If he lashed out doesn’t that mean he’s a sociopath then?
That’s a narcissist, not a psychopath! Narcissists use emotions and evokes feelings to get what they want. Psychopaths actually just want to be left alone. Please get it right.
I survived a psychopath and it took years to recover and realize what a normal relationship should look. Anytime I watch a video like this I get chills because it’s scary knowing I was with someone who inherently lacks empathy.
Same girl.. yay for getting healing and freedom!!
Same same, had traits that were toxic but now healing is the game!
Same. I was beaten.
@@xiaomenghu88311 that's horrible! Are you okay? I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you.
I am 56 and I still do not know what a Normal relationship is because I was raised by a Psychopath then Married to one and have just remained single out of fear of doing that again.
This guy is rite. My ex was a true diagnoses psychopath. The court appointed a shrink we both had to go see during our court case. She asked me to come see her alone. After she had spoken to my ex. So i did. She told me that in all her 25 years of counseling people she was going to tell me something she had Never had to say to anyone before. And that was to move away! Get out! Get as far as i could get! Her advice to me was to move in the middle of the night. Just to make sure i got away safely. She told me she would talk to the judge, and assured me everything would be ok. That i wouldn't have to go to the last court case my lawyer and her would advocate on my behalf. So i moved to another city with my two children and i have Never looked back. She also told me the things my ex had said to her in his meeting's with her. She told me to NEVER go anywhere alone. And to not tell anyone were i was going. Not relatives! Not friends! No one! And to always! always! Look and pay attention to my surrounding! Change my phone number, And to get it unlisted! She even told me to get my utilities in someone else's name for my safety. The day he realized i had left the home i was living in he went syco! And had to be hospitalized for loosing his mind. Iv found out through friends in the police force that he has been hospitalized several times since i left. I was granted a divorce. And he married again. He beat her up to just like he did to me and my kids. He cheated on her too several times. He has been in other relationship's. However i still have family through my now marriage that live in the town next to him, and he is still trying to find out were i and my kids live. They are grown up now with kids of their own. And the last thing they want is to see that sycophantic anywhere near them. Both my kids have said if he comes around they will get a restraining order. I do want to say its funny how these PEOPLE Claim to love you. Or They say they only want to see the kids. Even now. But very quickly who ever they are speaking to quickly realize's its NOT the KIDS they want to see. Its YOU THEIR TRYING TO GET TO!! When a sycophantic'so second, or third word out of their mouth's are, do you know were my ex wife lives? Is she still married to that other guy? Whats his name again? Is she dating anyone? Does she work? Were does she work? Or he is still trying to gain sympathy from those he's talking to by saying you left him for someone else. Or constantly runs around blaming your now husband for you not returning to him. Even though your new husband wasn't the reason you broke up in the first place. Ya he's only interests in you! He's still trying to get to you! Not your kids.
I had many gut feelings that I ignored because of "love". These people don't even understand what love is, always trust your gut and listen to your instincts. Never ever doubt yourself, even if it's something really minor.
Psycho path red flags, they are sarcastic, sweet, condescending, cannot admit to their wrongs. They are control freaks, emotional abusive (neglectful willfull).but are very kind and extremely delusional. They are not in touch with reality. They love to play psychological games. Women, please guard your hearts. You men also.
Star Bright,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,hope you are not with a narc 😈!
@@christianpulisic7784 Haha stop it. I hope you’re not one 😋. I think she might have come across one or something.
Get out of my head!!!
@@richardcranium5862 lol
Glad you said you men also 👍
Driving someone to suicide = Murder, in my book.
Del berate acts of cruelty towards another human being for the intended purpose of the destruction of their mind, body or soul is premeditated murder.
@Sebastian Smith that's what almost happened to me. Omg I thought I was alone. I should be dead
Instead of blaming, learn and teach how to be wiser and more resilient.
@@kimbyrd2298 💯👍
@@danyelfincel8525 😢
I'm going through this right now. I felt things were off and my intuition was telling me something from the beginning. I gave the benefit of the doubt and felt maybe I was overthinking. Yet it was all true. What a horrible person and I'm trying to get through the feelings of knowing he is awful and was lying and playing his game from the beginning yet still having feelings for him and missing the person he pretended to be. After a situation, the last day we were together I realized this is how he is, narcissistic psycholopath. They are horrible people! Run in the opposite direction.
My ex was a complete psychopath and a narcissist. We definitely had the circus sex because he wanted to move in. There was no intimacy and no flattery in my situation. He was a drug user and alcohol and sex and gambling addict. He never complimented me he barely could even walk with me he would always walk way ahead of me and made me feel ashamed of just being me. It was war from day one. I was losing everything that made me myself and he was the one helping to slowly erase me.
It was so damaging and I’m just now realizing how much damage was done.
To anyone who has gone through this my prayers go out to you❤
I was married to one, scariest thing I’ve ever been in.
Glad you're free and hopefully recovered. What was the scary bit, losing connection with reality maybe?
They never leave
The problem is that it take years before you understand that a person is a psychopath
My mom basically
no it takes just days or weeks if you listen to your instincts.
honestly, that depends really. if you feel like a friend of yours is a psychopath, you would most likely be in denial. make sense since no one wants a psychpath as a friend.
7 years for me.
My daughter,obviously... 😢
As a person is diagnosed with psychopathy, and has never been in jail. I would like to take the time to say not all of us are like this, and there should be more studies done.
Totally agree, bro
It is hard to do when people who meet the criteria don't want to come forward.
^
yeah; i scored high but nothing like this. In a way yes but not this extreme.
@@fliss7570probably because we don’t want to cause so much problem to get us in trouble, if you think straight you would never end up in jail.
What’s crazy is we are educated about sociopaths / psychopaths and narcissistic people- yet when we are suspicious of new people we meet and their motives for interaction we are then labeled paranoid or suffer from paranoid personality disorder..... odd
This "Circus Sex" is TRUE!
He only wanted me so he could get into my home from his apartment with his son, get ahead on his finances, and make me the house cleaner, sex hole, and agreeable.
He tried so hard to squash my fire.
Or he could be your general garden variety user.
That’s exactly what my ex-husband‘s doing and God knows what he’s carrying to that poor woman she’s already been married once and had kids from two different relationships and it’s actually his brother-in-law‘s little sister so she was easy prey because if you know anything about these characters they study their prey they know exactly who you are what you want to your friends are and they’re going to get into your phones they’re going to know all your conversations so they can manipulate you further mine had hacked my computers he was in my computers he put recorders in my car he also put a deer camera in our house to catch the security code because I knew things were being moved in torn up I was with mine since my teens all the way in my 40s and I am severely traumatized so is my youngest my oldest knows exactly who he is and I told her she’s playing with fire
@@cindithomas7440 Nobody’s diagnosing anything he specifically said not just Psycho Pass but Narcisista narcissism is not a diagnosis and when I’m talking I’m talking about narcissism I have no idea what the Hells wrong with my ex nor do I want to diagnose him or figure it out because whatever the fuck it is it can’t be cured
its his LOSS- stay no contact
I dated two "hobosexuals" lessoned learned..they keep using and using ppl
He comes straight to the point...psychopaths are really good in disguising themselves. Always follow your gut feeling. All psychopaths are narcasissts aswell, I guess.
Yuh...
You are so right narcs are psychopaths.
@@virginiawilson6750 nope... psychopaths can be a narcissistic but narcissists can't be a psychopath
All psychopaths are narcissistic... But not all narcissists are psychopaths.
A psychopath is a narcissist on steroids
My last relationship, beginning, during, and after was described perfectly in this video. It's helping me understand why it's been over 2 years and I'm just now getting over it. The relationship itself was only a year, but some of the worst trauma of my life. Thankfully, my current partner does understand intimacy and everything I've been through. She's one of the most patient people I've ever met and we've been seeing each other for almost 2 years
These kind of videos make me learn so much, realize a lot of things, heal, at the same time hurting with the flashbacks.
Psychopaths and NPD personalities prey on those with an empathetic nature. They entice us like a moth to a flame. This video describes my ex-husband to a T. The red flags were many and I ignored my intuition because as an empath, I felt like I could "fix" him. What a naive and almost fatal mistake that was!! Beware and stay away from these types. You're powerless against then unless you have psychopathic tendencies yourself. Otherwise, they'll destroy you!
I refuse to date until I can heal myself enough to trust again.
💯
👍
Flip it, trust that you are healing. Start there 💛
Jesus is the Healer. Trust Him. Let His truth set you free.
@@yerasmus4025 hard to do when you spent 20 some odd years begging for his help and you were ignored.
I literally just had an encounter, thankfully online, with a psychopath. Beautiful words but no connection. Very threatened by my leaving after only messaging for a week. Your video saved me. Thank you and blessings.
Thank you for this. I was with someone who treated me horrifically for years and I don't trust people very easily. The suggestions at the end are very much appreciated. Especially the suggestion that the next person should understand exactly what one went through. I have been wondering about this for awhile. Scared it will come across like I have baggage which is so unfair.
all narcissists think their exes are psychos.
they are reflected in the other
2 of mine were abusive and the last one was actually a compulsive liar who said had cancer as a reason to dump me but still keep me there for when he needed me and has a lot of this traits that's why I'm here, lol. So I mean... Not always. But yes, my ex used to say his exes were all crazy.
So if he/she says that, ask them why and see what they say...
But also, I mean... I remember my ex being an asshole, but at the same time he told me something very meaningful once and nice, and he was kind of crying and looking into my eyes... So honestly I'm never sure about these kind of things. That's why I actually had so many fucked up exes... I cannot tell and ALWAYS fall for the same bad person, and often I was vulnerable... I'm on my 30s now... And dating someone else for 5 years but still... Sometimes I'm scared, even tho I know him a lot, that he'll be the next Chris Watts or someone like that who one day wakes up and kills everyone.
Wow you really triggered me hahahahahahaha
And they are. Psychopaths avoid cliques, narcissists need them.
Narcissists are easy prey for psychopaths. Not defending narcissists or anything, just saying it's a simple formula in their head; 1. feed the ego of the narcissist. 2. collect profit
Divorcing one right now. 30 yrs and I had no clue he was living a double life. Trauma with a big T.
I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that trama for so long! I left one after a little more than 6 years but it took almost 4 years to finally divorce him. At first it was amazing being with him but after a while He physically & mentally abused me. He took advantage of me in every way. I took me years before I finally healed. Be thankful you’re getting out. I wish you nothing but good things in life from now on.
@@moeruss2726 I wish to both of you best ✨🙏
You being naive was never a virtue.
How's he a psycho?
i.m sorry for you, i was married to one for 17 years, he still wants to controle me! he has a hold on my daughter, and her sons ,she is 45 but doesn't see it., the shrink said he has bipolar, i don't know how to get over it.
Been on my own now for 25 years!
This is the best and most accurate description of psychopath , well done!
I think you should check out Professor Fallon, "Confessions of a moth" or something like that. Short video, tl;dr he's a guy who's a professor and neuroscientist of some sort that went to a Catholic school and did some study about serial killers, only to discover his brain scan was identical.
It's a sad twist of irony that even though this guy was ostensibly a smart, interesting, and funny person who allegedly didn't hurt anyone, and thus a very compelling case to studying psychopaths and dealing with integrating them more properly into society (this is impossible in American society, the whole culture is literally narcissistic and sociopathic in the extreme and its values and economic system are utterly toxic) given that on average I think about 1 in 25 people are supposed to be psychopathic or sociopathic, and that clearly means that serial killers are only the tiniest outliers. So I think the sad irony is that this guy asked his friends and family in all brutal honesty and they basically described him as a cold unempathetic assholeish kind of character, and he just didn't knew that about himself. I think that paucity in self reflection is quite possibly the biggest problem in the narcissists and psychopaths, who at least ASPD seem to know fully well that they are but still somehow seem not to self reflect enough, maybe partly due to the way their own empathy/socializing and inner world works. Narcissists don't because they're expert survivalists of their own ego, even if that ego shielding means they fucking suck at being survivalists anywhere else.
So I do think that it's really sad for the family members or lovers who can see this person as someone they shared time with and really wanted to love them, and even if you cognitively know better still can't help but be deeply hurt and driven insane being around them. I think The Psychopath Nextdoor was a pretty decent book too, and would advise anyone to check out Political Ponerology--the actual source material, not the psychotic woke right bullshit now surrounding it (which is hilarious given they literally went to jail for some NFT conman who's a textbook case of a clinical psychopath). Andrew Liebawscski idk how to spell that Polish name, apparently the Soviets confiscated his work and destroyed it so he had to reassemble some from memory, it basically posited that the Soviet ruling class was psychopathic, and that by extension most of our rulers tend to be psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists.
I also take rather severe issue with lumping Borderlines in there too btw. Mainly because BPD is just tending toward manipulative but it really just doesn't even look at all like the rest of cluster B, because borderlines are, like avoidant personality disorder etc., operating from a very central lack of love security and hence deeply rooted insecurity and fear of abandonment, that they then sometimes act out like a drug addict trying dope fiend larceny on people to get their fix or deal with their own wild emotions and fear of being unloved.
Fear
of
being
unloved.
Do note that and see how this is so very different than the narcissist, sociopath, and psychopath at the most basic fundamental level? Shit like this makes it difficult for me to take psychiatry seriously at all, which the DSM-V is just nuts itself far as I've seen (let's be real here, transexuality is a mental illness and an identity disturbance, saying otherwise just proves this field is not a science or operating as such and never has been, and relies on flimsy neuroscience pretexts to back themself up).
So I just cannot see Borderline as being even remotely like the other two, and if you want to put histrionic and avoidant together, fine. But trying to call BPD the same as a psychopath is like trying to call anyone and everyone that uses manipulative behaviour a psychopath--there is a clear difference.
@@pandemicneetbux2110 Thank you so much for your intersting reply, recommendations and thoughts. 👍
@@beatak2467 lol I am so used to hostile, passive aggressive, or smartass replies it seriously took a sec to realize you were serious or not. Your welcome?
I also find it really weird how Histrionic got lumped in there too like wtf is even going on with DSM-V? I heard her outright saying "this is more a guideline" than labeling people in another video. And I agree with that, in that there's fuzzy areas, this is just an interesting topic because it kind of deals with that crossroads of what people call the soul, and the mind, and hard neurological science with the boundaries being really fuzzy. Channels like Soft White Underbelly provide a very interesting cross reference.
I love the advice on dealing with someone you are dating who has gone through this kind of trauma. Reading the comments here, you can see the chaos left behind from dating a psychopath/narcissist, and this is the first video I have ever seen on how to date someone triggered by their past trauma. There are so many people now coming forward with their abuse stories, so it’s nice to hear how a new partner can be supportive of someone who has experienced this. I think there needs to be more of this content, as I’m sure this is not easy for people to navigate.
I can actually feel the empathy coming off this man right through the screen.
@@missellenmartin4152 I think your paranoid, if your looking for something your going to find it
@@missellenmartin4152 ? What mask? You're defaming this man's character from a video of him using facial expressions to visually describe his point? Wow and Wrong.
@@metafairy2576 ?
@S Robin you can try to train yourself but really your not going to be able to point it out when its someone in your life, they are too good
not at first atleast lol
I remember being stalked, cyberstalked, drugged, beaten. He had no emotion after the love bomb. It was so scary.
I’m sorry that happened to you 💔. I’m glad you’re okay and safe now 💖✨
OMG, that is awful, what a f n monster! He'll get his someday!
I wish they would brand abusers! He's a pos. Glad you made it out alive.
I'm so glad you got away! Blessings to you ❤
I’m glad you ok. So sorry you went through. But always remember this, what doesn’t break you makes you stronger.
I wish I had known this years ago. I married one and he made my life a living hell for nearly 10 years, Barely left with my life.
Thank you for showing an understanding of us that fell victim to psychopaths and narcissists. It really does feel like trauma, being discarded after many hateful tirades, gaslighting and and false allegations through his delusions, all on my sanity’s expense. I just hope to fall in love again soon and finally be able to start a family with a nice loving partner.
It doesn’t feel like trauma it is traumatic there’s no feel like it it is trauma. My kdis are still dealing with it.
The word 'SOULMATE' comes to mind...'I have met my SOULMATE'. ..BIG RED FLAG! Because initially, very soon after meeting, they lovebomb you and make you feel you are the most special person in the world...they mirror you so that if you like music, THEY like music, if you like reading, THEY like reading, if you like to travel, THEY like to travel...they treat you like a queen/king...so you cannot believe your luck that you are the one to have actually met your SOULMATE. You might even realize that things are moving too fast, but you don't care because YOU are so blessed as to have met your....SOULMATE.
Well said
Love is blind, and sometimes even stupid. But being stupid may often seem more pleasant than being alone.
"I've been looking for you all my life!" was the line my psychopath used. Twenty years of hell after 2 years together.
That's how it is. But watch out, vulnerable covert narcissists lovebomb through victim play. They can appear quite convincing.
It’s hard if an empath falls in love with one bc you feel bad for them and feel everyone deserves to be loved. But ultimately yes you need to protect yourself. It’s hard to understand they don’t feel your love the way you would feel love.
Like my mom
@The Rising Phoenix yes
My life. Im the empath😫
That's not an empath my dear. That is a VERY low self esteem empath
@The Rising Phoenix Good point. Rabid dogs were put to death.
I was brought up by a psychopathic Mother. This woman sent me to the depths of hell mentally. I am so grateful I got away from her & it took me 50yrs to realise what was going on. You can’t even begin to imagine how bad they truly are. My life is a whole new world now and I am grateful I got away from her. They are abusive soul destroying & will ruin you & your life to a nervous breakdown & attempt suicide. The things she has done to me over the years are unimaginable. I thought surely one day she will just love me. I couldn’t understand any of it. The sooner you get away is when you start to heal & think clearly. I am finally free & happy to be ME! Get away as soon as you can & don’t EVER get sucked backed in
Oh my god. I could have written this, I'm 47. I tried to take my life too. How are you doing now?
❤
@@vanessas2363 it’s never been easy as you know but the age of 50 I finally broke free of her & wont ever go back. I am in such a better place now thank you. I hope you are too 💓❤️
@@Kimber-bz9fe goodness me. What an horrendous ordeal. Thank you for your message. I'm so glad you're okay. I have severe CPTSD symptoms and all the health issues that go with it that I attempt to 'manage' every single day. I'm so messed up. I'm broken. I used to wrestle daily with 'guilt' about being a bad daughter and what will I do when she's old and dying. I don't anymore. Finally. I actually have visions of dancing on her grave. She systematically abused me and sabotaged my whole life since the day I was born. The most sick minded and unnatural creature. Your post has validated my feelings and I'm so grateful. Thank you. Only people like ourselves would fully understand the horror of what we endured.
Sending genuine love to you sister, because we really didn't have any. Look after yourself. It's hard, I know, as its a new concept. I really hope we will both be okay 😘😘😘❤
@@vanessas2363 oh your message is literally mirror image of my life as well. It would seem ours identical in so many ways. Keep on the great fight you will get there I promise you that. You will have some tough bad days where you completely break down but those shall too pass. God Bless to you too & love life. Thank you for sharing your experience as I do very much all you endure ❤️🧡♥️🩷
"Psychopathes ask very personal questions". Very true. The first week I started to date my ex narcissic, he asked me "how you and your ex used to make love" I was shocked. That was the first sign I ignored!
Lol that just sounds like a creep
@Andromeda Skywalker lol you must sleep around a lot and probably can't pair bond. If you think your sexual history doesn't matter you're delusional.
Eww! Whatever happened to asking "what's your favorite color?"
@Andromeda Skywalker @Andromeda Skywalker actually people who sleep around a lot, especially women, have trouble pair bonding in a long term relationship. Sorry you're a slit. Your probably going to end up a lonely cat lady.
@@gschaaf713 You're correct, but don't you don't know at what point it was asked. And she isn't delusional she is trusting her own personal instincts.
I really like this guy. He's intuitive. I'd like him as a therapist! One of the main things he said: "They [psychopaths] don't know any other way." Chilling.
It’s true isn’t it. They are innocent (psychopaths), as they do only what they know -
@Morgan What’s chilling is they don’t know any better. They will never change and become a better person because of it. They don’t want to change and think nothing is wrong with them, it’s everyone else. My xwife is a sociopath. Also diagnosed with split personality disorder with bipolar disorder sprinkled on top. Divorced for 2 years now can’t tell you how “light” I feel being single.
@@chadjohnson438 sums up modern relationships Chad.
@@chadjohnson438 that's not chilling at all; it's heartbreaking. This is someone's baby that became divergent in a way that the rest of us can't understand well-enough to find a way to communicate with them.
@@chadjohnson438 you're also using incorrect terminologies. The Dr. literally corrects the term Socipathy. There is also no such thing as a split personality disorder...
Absolutely accurate - always making compliments but they don't feel genuine and maybe are forced. Really experimental in bed and after they get what they want and they are gone. It's okay! I went through it and now I'm feeling better
I met a few in my life.
What has always saved me is that I have a high sense of equality.
I expect the same from men and women, from me and my partner.
I proactively try to show that I am a reliable, trustworthing and caring person, and that is exactly what I am expecting.
If I notice signs that he doesn't notice what I am doing and/or doesn't give back I am gone without explanation.
Six to eight weeks are normally enough to find out.
I also have to say that my sense of fairness is much higher than my desire to be in a romantic relationship.
this is one of the best things you can do. but in the lovebombing stage they usually will appear to also be equal
@@qwertyyxoxo Equality has very little to do with love. And love is still very important. And always will be. Good luck!
Psychopaths won't take no for an answer, even on a first meeting in a social setting. When they come after you it's so intense and they guilt trip you and use emotional blackmail if you reject their advances or show no interest. I've had them lecture me about needing someone to take care of me in my old age - when I tell them I haven't dated for over 20 years and never will again and have no interest in relationships. They try to change my mind. They also try to rush you into a relationship after only one date, declaring undying love........you just know it's BS and a big red flag.
They are extremely charming and love bomb you at first to sweep you off your feet.
Something will feel wrong. Trust your gut.
Just lived this out. Thank you for saying it out loud
Wow! This is so true.
Is it a feeling u cant seem to understand? I feel like im just very confused if its a gut feeling or if its just me bcz of my past relationship
Also he knocked on my door for the first time date and my dad didnt really like talk to him lik tht but i guess my dad told my mom he had a weird feeling about him but idk of my dad just being my dad or if he got a weird vibe from him
Great info dr Myers! And love this interviewer giving the dr time to complete his responses without interrupting. Thank you
sue Downey,You are beautiful,Hope you are not with a narcissist…
Great video! I would add, after a particularly bad experience, that the second you think you're being too harsh or judgmental or second guessing your inclination toward someone (that "off" feeling you're getting) you should RUN, don't walk to the nearest exit. That is your big red flag. After several months of drama and not listening enough to myself, I finally got out with the help of law enforcement. If nothing else, please always do a gut check. You're smart, kind and empathetic or you wouldn't be here, so know that you're not being too judgmental or harsh; your inner self is giving you a warning. Listen to it.
Thank u sm
Many psychopaths block the exit or will stalk, kill or destroy the partner if he or she tries to leave.
I think that if you go through the trauma of being in a relationship with a psychopath and you survive you become a stronger person and are more aware of how you impact others as well.
@Secret Garden it’s actually crazy that you just replied with this. So there is this theory that certain people who experience some kind of trauma are activated within the spiritual (psychic) realm. The trauma from that experience brings that about. So I definitely would say that is most likely what happened and you are 100% correct with what happened with you.
@Secret Garden Well what can I say... I like my lashes as black as my heart and as long as the list of people that I want to punch in the face. Thank you for your compliment , your very kind.
Yes, you love yourself and know what you really want. And your eyes are open, you can see a rat from around the corner.
He neglected to mention major clues. They have LOTS of charm and charisma, are fun to be around because it's stimulating and enjoyable for any of us to be around someone who always says something humorous, is quick witted and puts those around them in a good mood. People are drawn to them this way when they are 'on' in social situations. Also, they have no anxiety, they have nerves of steel and are risk-takers. A normal person's usual social anxiety talking to someone they are attracted to, and hoping to get something started with them, or at a party, etc., usually makes the other person a little ill at ease as well, because we empathize with them - maybe even subliminally. There is no easy or humorous social banter to make us laugh, feel good, etc.. (unless the other person is a caregiver type and finds fulfillment in "helping", in this case helping the nervous person feel more comfortable.) When not 'on' in a social setting, they can radiate an almost reptillian coldness. They get stony, fixed empty shark eyes, and can be very arrogant, even to people they hardly know.
You can sense after a while (I did) how they view other people like chess pieces, even to the point of somehow manipulating who another person stands next to in a large group, just for the psychpath to see how one reacts to the other. With contempt? Fear? Attraction? Then that data is filed away for some future use to manipulate.
They can seem like two or more people sharing the same body, as if they can switch on different personas, chameleon-like, according to what they feel is necessary in different situations. Their voice can even change, their posture, etc..
They can have tremendous sex appeal because they have no inhibitions and are so fearless, nothing intimidates them. They often act like the 'king of the realm' because of the secret power they feel having everyone duped by them so easily. It makes them contemptuous of others. They rarely show their hand, and rein in their sense of power, often pretending to be accomodating, reasonable and open to the persuasion of others in little ways that don't really matter to them, just to throw people off their scent.
They live.
I wanna know more abt these. Where can I find the information?
@@sunnyboy4553 How true about lying! You'll ask them 'What time is it', and they'll hesitate for 3 seconds before saying 'It's about 5', but never will say straight away 'It's 5.05'. And it a simplest example.
😮😳🤢🤮
@Paradigm Climb But why do they WANT the entities in them? I'm thinking satanism - but I don't understand why they would Want these attachments. I think you are right, but I like to know just why they let these things in or on them?? I'd very much appreciate your answer. Thank you
Yes correct and will wine & dine you until you are caught in their web
Excellent explanation, very professional. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and for doing the interviews with experts.
Wow, I’m learning more and more that my ex’s issues went way deeper than I thought…I can’t diagnose him, but everything is spot on here…I’m so glad I got out.
This video: These Are the Signs of Dating a Psychopath
Me, single: OMG, am I dating a psychopath
?
..you are..
"psychopaths aren't always murderers."
I disagree. Psychopaths will emotionally abuse people to death. They won't drive in a physical knife, but they will squeeze the life out of you one day at a time.
@Emilie Nerbad No they dont. They don't perceive anyone outside of themselves. No empathy, only self gain at any cost. If they have values it's only to maintain a public image to blend in.
Whew, that's deep..! 😕😕😕
@Emilie Nerbad Manipulation is one of those strong values
This is so true.. I felt like the guy I was with wasn't happy until I was emotionally & mentally destroyed
yep
There are a lot of psychopaths leading companies. They are able to charm their way to the top and they tread on everyone they need to on the way up.
No wonder the world is all about money, power and greed. Decency is falling by the wayside.
Great content, the questions Kyle asked helped a lot to break down the behaviors so we can recognize one if we come across them- thanks guys!!
- Callous disregard in relationships
- Don't show remorse
- They are impulsive, hostile
-They can be aggressive but not necessarily murderous
- They don't care about exploiting others cause all they really care about is their own needs
- There's no equality or intimacy with 'em. ( They couldn't care less, it's a game to 'em,they can be ruthless and they will win)
( Audience note- one indicator-) No matter the specifics/mechanics in the interaction, something about the interaction left you feeling a little unsettled or a bit distrusting.
- They tend to be more promiscuous/tend to have more and shorter relationships.
- Research shows they tend to have sex for: boredom,power,money,a housing situation etc...
- And many more
Yep, spot on
Don’t forget the circus sex 😹
How do you know if you're dealing with a psychopath...their eyes don't match what they are saying, their emotions can be switched on/off at will to get them what they want, the emotions in their voice always sound rehearsed.
Not all psychopaths are murderers, mine was! Step-father was a drug addict, sadistic drug dealer, child molester, sexual deviant/sex addict, highly volatile, extremely arrogant, so remorseless he acted like he was entitled to use and abuse others, narcissitic, violent, and eventually murdered my mother.
A predator to the very core! He destroyed every life he touched and he did it with a song in his heart. One of those people that when they die people say the world is a better place without them.
Kelly, how horrid for you to have to have known someone who should have put a song in your heart for being His daughter, actually
put such sad memories there instead. Your expression that he did all of that evil "with a song in his heart" reminds me of the day
my husband pretended to feel so sorry that he had ruined our marriage with infidelity, yet he was merrily singing a cheating country song, without knowing that I had returned, + the look of shock that I had seen him without his fake empathy mask on his face+ denial of singing in a completely joyous tone was priceless. When I commented that he sounded very happy, his futile denial of joy while singing "their" favorite lust tune,told me that his empathy for my devistation was just a part of his deception that he cared at all about the intense pain I felt.
Those who wont repent of their evil will be singing a different tune in their final destination, however. God bless you + grant you healing from this atrocity,dear Kelly.
I'm so sorry.
He really broke this down to a great level of understanding..thank you!!
I love this doctor. His delivery is soooo very comprehensive
Just hearing the word 'psychopath' sends chills down my spine. Scary people. I now understand God blessed us with intuition for a reason.
Yet god allows psychopaths into the world and doesn't kill them all off with accidents in infancy before they fuck up people who aren't psychopaths...maybe "god" doesn't exist...
God also CREATED these psychopaths.
@@adamlewis1961 Well yeah you're right too...
God is not the one to blame here.. we humans are the problem, not God. No one is a psychopath in the womb. Read the Bible for once if you’d like.
@@lynette599 He did not Create any part of Creation to be less than perfect. Sin did and does that, even with you and me. We can reach perfection. Through Jesus Christ only.
Three things: 1 - I thought I was going to be bored by this interview (because I know all about psychopaths unfortunately) - but I was not. 2 - This doctor is speaking truth - what spot-on answers - no fluff. 3 - the interviewers questions were also spot-on - very specific, and most we normal people would want answers to. Worth the watch!
Thank you for providing clinical evidence supporting my gut. I recently witnessed all of the behavior discussed during a traumatic encounter with a male. It ended there.
I like this guy- he’s good at explaining things, knowledgable, articulate, and down to earth.
Amazing questions. He asked all the questions I would've wanted to ask. Great, educational and healing interview.
I appreciate them bringing out the importance of following your intuition.
That's why it is good to have goals in a relationship and the importance of personal development. If you have these you will feel dissatisfied after a short time with an inappropriate partner and get out of the relationship in time.
True
This man just described my ex-girlfriend exactly. Almost like hes evaluated her himself. I was a psych major in college (I switched over to marketing later on) and I am well aware of signs to look for in certain "disorders" or unusualness in a persons behavior but somehow I missed all the signs when I met my ex. We just broke up a couple of days ago but it was about 2 months of thinking "Am I dating a psychopath?" She had every single one of these traits. I mean every...single...one. The other night she asked me a question, and it was a weird personal one (Just like how he describes a psychopath would do, to find your triggers) And I KNOW she was trying to find triggers because they were triggering subject matters she would ask me about. It had to do with finances if we got married. We both have jobs (we make the same amount of money) and if we were to get married, we would have extremely comfortable lives with our dual income. VERY comfortable. She asked a weird question and it was out of no where. She tends to do this at a specific moment precisely every single time, right on the money. Its after we go out at night and we had a few drinks. She doesnt ask the question when I am sober, she specifically asks after shes noticed I had a few drinks. She asked me "IF we got a joint tax return back, and I needed 2 grand more for a butt job, would you pay for the rest of it?" I said "No." She wanted my explanation. I said "A butt job is something you *want* not something you *need* and if you already have a job, why would I come up with the rest of it?" She explained "It would be your butt too" but then condraticted herself when I said she doesnt need a butt job and said "I would be doing this for me" So again, why would I help you financially with that then? You just contradicted yourself and now youre saying its for you, not for me! She said "Ok, its clear then - I don't need you financially". This wasnt the first time she said something to me like that. 2 months earlier she asked what it would look like if we moved in together. Now, I own a house and she doesn't and still lives with her mom. She started talking about how we would need to repaint all my walls a different color, redesign the bathrooms, my guest bedroom needs to be her office (which I was ok with) but then started talking about extensions to my house. 1) I live in an HOA, theres alot of work involved in that and 2) you need permits or selling my home in the future would be difficult. I tried to rationalize to her thats alot of work and I cant just start making extensions inside my home without getting permits and continued to say "oh come on, you dont need that!" and we went on and on until she said "I guess its settled, I guess well just never move in together" Like who says these things to their significant others. I started to think - at what point will she ask me a question where her conclusion is "Its clear I dont need you emotionally?". Where I started to actually question if I was dating a psychopath was an ironic night. I was actually watching the movie "American Psycho" and we were texting while I was watching it and I said "I love you sweetie" (which was a name I actually never called her) and she responded "Don't ever call me sweetie again." and im like "the fuck?" Again, who says that? Who even says it the way she just did? I sorta brushed it off because maybe it has to do with Im watching American Psycho and "psychopathic" tendencies were in my head and I took it wrong, but maybe that was a sign and that was the night I began to start questioning it and I started to monitor her behavior more closely. I did begin to notice any argument or fight was ALWAYS my fault - but she was the one who brought up the subject that caused it - and it was always something stupid. They were always hypothetical questions for our future and she didnt like the answers she got but relationships are always a give and take. IT seemed I was doing all the giving and was taking nothing. She would always turn my reactions towards her insane comments around on me. She would say "I dont know why you get like this!" or "You always have this problem!" she always made it like I was always a problem but when I would calmly rationalize with her I got upset because what you said hurt my feelings, she would literally say "I dont care". Even when we first met, he described my ex exactly like how she would describe us - we moved VERY fast and she told me "its like I've known you my whole life!" and she would say that ALOT! The sex was very weird because she seemed it was always about her desire for sex and never mine. When it came to my feelings, it was like she never empathized with me with anything going on in my life. Kinda like "sucks to suck" attitude and never got her support on ANYTHING. Anytime she called me I would act excited that she called and would show that in my voice (because I was, I loved talking to her and hearing her voice after a long day of work) but she would just say "hey baby." soooo blunt with no emotion to it. She would do the same when we would meet somewhere for dinner for hte night. I would smile seeing her and go up and hug her and kiss her - but she looked like she didnt even want to be there. No smile, no excitement in seeing me, nothing. I told her after the last argument - I need to reevaluate our relationship because things seem very off. This is a relationship that doesnt share any characteristics of any previous relationship Ive been in before, and ofcourse the last argument we had was me leaning towards "I think I am actually dating a psychopath." And I started to think on my drive home after that. Shes 30, shes never had long term relationships, shes even told me shes not a "relationship" type person, and one night she was drunk and told me about her breakups and how it was strange she never felt upset over the break ups. Even if I had to break up with someone in my past, I was upset. Alot started to add up - I was dating a psychopath. So our last phone call - she was doing exactly what she always does. Its my fault, I am the problem, shes the angle, you always get like this (she always had this tendency of saying I *always* get like (x)) She always turned everything around on me. I 100 percent believe I was dating a psychopath and it was for 6 months and we were always together. It was scary to hear it may take years to recover from this. I am 30, I wasted 6 months giving my heart to someone who deep down didnt seem to want it and now im scared ill be 32 still single still trying to recover from this because yes - I do not know if I can trust someone again after that. I was a psych major when I first started college and knew all the signs, but I guess its different when its happening to you.
Don't be too rough on yourself. Coming from experience, dating a psychopath is VERY different from reading about them.
You can read/study all you want but nothing compares to the real experience.
I dated a mental mindbender of a psychopath almost 5 years ago and still have trouble trusting people. It's totally okay that ur single at 32, I'm still single though I did try again...and ran into another psychopath. 🤦♀️
Thankfully my spider senses were tingling that time and I knew to get out of dodge.
But yeah, being with one and reading about it is like 2 different things.
Psychopath signs:
-Comes off as super friendly (super confident)
-will compliment you and shower you with attention in the beginning (texting all the time, calling you day and night, asks about YOU constantly)
-will put you down, call you names, say you are stupid (during discard phase)
-will complaign to you about friends and family when together "ugh, my sister is so stupid. I hate her." or "my friend Ryan is sooo annoying", then later will do the same to you, but you don't know that...till later ;) (They always always trash their familiar/most intimate relationships. Strangers get the candy, the sweet, the nice, because they don't KNOW them and so the psychopath isn't bored...yet 😈)
-anger (some will have this, some won't. But most will. Punching, hitting, kicking, screaming, yelling, etc. anger will be a big sign.)
-boredom/addictions (most will have addictions to combat the boredom: drinking, smoking, partying, cheating, gaming, etc. But they always will have something to entertain them.
Btw most psychopaths like horror movies, violent video games, or rap music. In my experience, 1 of those 3 will always be present when knowing one.)
-casual relationships/short relationships/one night stands (most psychopaths don't have long, commited relationships. Mostly hook ups or short terms, especially in the teens and 20's/30's. If they are engaged or married they usually cheat or have a double life with another gf/bf, 40's/50's. By then their mask has been more perfected. Their personality crafted. Their "other self" well hidden.
But yeah they don't do commitment because their life motto is "Love is for losers. Love makes you weak."
Btw, psychopaths date all variety. What I mean is, there is no straight, gay, bi, etc, for a psychopath. Male, female, trans. They date all genders.)
-You will feel...off.
(They will do weird things, say weird things. They will talk about knives or dead animals. Sometimes they will jumpscare you or hide behind a corner and shout "boo!" then laugh while you almost have a heart attack.
Sometimes they will simply drop the mask, by accident or on purpose, and make the air in the room feel...weird. The room will feel colder by a few degrees, the hairs on your arm will stand on end, you will feel a chill down ur spine or something is very wrong, you may also feel like you need to open a window, claustrophobic. Then the next day or next hour they will be back to their happy, cheery self, like none of that just happened.
-They will warn you/tell you themselves, subtly.
"You know, you really should stay away from me." or "if you knew the real me, you'd prolly run. :)" its subtle but it's a hint. It's a way for them to see if you will stay or not.)
Forgot to mention, you can also tell a psychopath by their eyes. Their eyes will look dull, bored, etc. Their voice too, will sounds like they are reading a very boring novel or a history textbook. Monotone, dull. (Very important)
Differences between a narcissist and a psychopath:
-a narcissist will want to talk about themselves, and want you to focus on them, give them attention
"me, me me", "I went here, I went there, I ate this, I ate that, I walked my dog, I rode my bike, I, I, I. Me, me, me. Focus on me." (Listen to "focus on me" by Ariana grande and that chorus is their theme song)
-a psychopath will focus on you
"what are YOU doing?" "Where are YOU going?" "Tell me how was your day?"
A psychopath doesn't need you to focus on them because they are trying to read you, mimic you.
-a narcissist needs attention/admiration/praise 24/7 (has low self esteem issues)
-a psychopath doesn't NEED compliments, praise, admiration (zero self esteem issues. Cool as a cucumber. No fear.)
-a narcissist needs people around. People that admire them, praise them, adore them, worship the ground they walk, etc. Their whole world revolves around their ego.
"You are so great!" "You are amazing!" "We love you!"
-a psychopath doesn't... need people. :)
But it is convient for stuff, things, etc. A house, your car, money...are you rich enough to take them out to dinner every weekend? Do you own a car they want to drive?
What you have/can "give" is more important than stupid things like admiration/adoration.
-A narcissist cares very much about how they are viewed in society and by friends.
(A narcissist cares what the neighbours think)
They will be less likely to do bad thing.
-a psychopath doesn't care how others view them. This is why it's so easy for them to lie, steal, con, or do bad things. Like end up in jail things.
-a narcissist is awkward/weird to be around. They make you feel uncomfortable.
Examples: They move into your personal space when you don't want them to, are rude to waiters and staff so you have to apologize for them because they have left the building, they cross your boundaries when you say "no", demand you do such and such for them RIGHT NOW when you are at work or school/busy (inconvinence to you) .
-a psychopath won't be as awkward or weird, at least not publically. At first, they will seem completely normal, especially to people who have never met a psychopath or don't know what they are. Psychopaths are charmers, and so, instead of you apologizing to a waitress they will make the waitress giggle and blush and be in awe of the psychopath. The psychopath will tip their hat and pull a rose out of their sleeve and hand it to you.
-a narcissist has low self esteem but grandiose and self obsorbed (flamboyant peacock)
-a psychopath has zero self esteem issues. Super confident. Cool as a cucumber (black widow spider/Ursula personality)
@@specialtwice4975No Emotions are for losers ! Emotions make you weak.
Man-up ! Don't be a crybaby..
Are you a man, or a mama's boy?
praying for you give it all to God
Thank you for the video. It was very clear and informative.
My ex was a psychopath with narcissistic traits.. After I left him I felt beaten down, worthless & empty. He was trying to kill me from the inside..
I feel the same way
Signs of a Psychopath:
1- callous disregard
2 - no remorse
3 - hostile
4 - don’t care about exploiting others in order to meet their own needs
5 - more males are psychopaths but there are more female psychopaths than we believe
Signs:
- excess flattery
- asking personal questions (to get a sense of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities) to use against you
- there is no equality or intimacy, the objective is only winning the game
- they say words but emotions don’t match into it ; leaves you feeling unsettled and distrusted.
Those who fall prey for the psychopaths are generally vulnerable:
- the Lonely
- the elderly
- the sad
Sex with the psychopath:
- they have more and often encounters regardless of status
- they do it for boredom
- for power
- for money
- for housing
- circus sex is not with true intimacy.
How to heal:
- can take years to trust again due to the trauma.
Results:
Processing anger
What can you say to yourself in order to recover-
- it can happen to anyone
- you will learn from your mistakes
- sharing your trauma to foster trust in your next relationship
How to manage a relationship with someone who has been traumatized by abuse:
13:09- end.
The description of a psychopath sounds like the majority of Americans.
Kadesh Hendricksen have u been to america
@@darlynn4736 Much worse than a visit... I'm stuck living there.
Thank you for the summary....I was getting anxious with his very long drawn out approach. I prefer to listen to Dr. Ramani... I like her communication style better.
@@EmpressKadesh lmaoo dw dw there's always some good ones lol