I got a lot of helpful information from this guy if you offended by what has been said then you just got busted im not offended in any way what so ever people who comment and are offended Pushed the psycos buttons
MedCircle great to hear for you and me because I’m so exhausted from the pangs in my stomach all day from remembering the betrayal the manipulation and the abuse..happy for ya friend!
I dated a psychopath. He was so good to me and I thought I had met the best person in the world. Every single day with him was good. He was my gentle place to land, he was incredibly sweet, and my friends and family adored him. We were together for 3 years. One day out of the blue, he looked at me with cold dead eyes. It still gives me chills to think about the unmistakable look of a psychopath when they show you who they really are. He said "This is the real me." He left me with zero empathy. No explanation. No emotion at all. I've never seen a person look like that. The pain was intense and I feel forever changed. I'm afraid to be happy. I'm afraid any happiness I feel now will end up being fake. Psychopaths are charming and they are manipulative predators that make you doubt your own ability to discern what's real and what's not. Thank you for this video. I wish I had seen it sooner.
Jesus Christ. Idk if I’m over thinking it but i fear I am in your position. Sweet man who spoils me, but who knows I am/was in a vulnerable position and has said things initially that set off an alarm in my head... I know what my gut feels but I keep denying it in hope of something better or that I’m maybe wrong... but I know never to doubt myself and that I am always right...
PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CJS DOES NOT PROSECUTE THESE EVIL BEASTS SO THEY ALLOWED TO ROAM FREE AND DESTROY OTHERS. THERE NEEDS TO BE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT WITHIN RELATIONSHIPS TAUGHT AND IF BROKEN, SANCTION, SUE, CALL THE POLICE. I BET THAT THERE WILL BE A LOT OF PEOPLE STRAIGHTENING UP THEIR ACTS WHEN THEY KNOW THAT THEY CAN BE SANCTIONED OR THROWN IN JAIL!!
You don’t try to fix other people, you need to protect yourself. Don’t allow yourself to get emotionally involved too early. Don’t sleep with them if you don’t know them. When you see a problem, be honest with yourself. What is their background? Do a background check. Talk to their friends-if they have any. Be careful-they are out there looking for kind people who have empathy and will try to fix them. Lonely-get a dog. If they ask for money-run. If they want to move in with you too soon, don’t let them.
In my experience, they try to shut you down as a human little by little. Telling you that you talk too much, feel too much, care too much, emote too much, work too much, clean too much, talk to your friends too much, eat too much, drink too much, exercise too much, etc. Eventually, you just shut down everything in order not to annoy them. Then you end up a miserable captive.
Good description, but that also sounds like what a covert narcissist does as well. I wonder what the difference is between a narcissist and a psychopath? Can anyone help?
I dated a psychopath for just 3 months. I caught him in one lie after another and broke up with him. He spread lies about me all over town, and almost strangled me to death. The one sign I will look for now is when someone is overwhelming with compliments and coming on too strong.
You're right! too many compliments and too much flattering! Too much passionate (the excuse? I am like that!). We must always follow our instinct. I didn't, but luckily I was too strong for him and he disappeared.
Im no longer in romantic relationships. If its not psychopaths, narcissists or just flat out manipulative and dishonest people, its toxic beliefs and mindsets they're not willing to deal with and address. Staying single and celibate is the only option for me. Im good 👍
Here's my experience of dating a psychopath for the past 4 years(broken up recently) 1.extremely charming in the beginning and thorough out the relationship(whenever he wanted something from me)..knows how to say the right thing at the right time but eventually it started sounding fake 2.cheating and lying..has had affair with 4 ladies which I have never known..every word that came out from his mouth was a lie. 3.sex is just sex..never love making.no emotional attachment..emotionally absent throughout the relationship in general 4. physical and verbal abuse and blackmails whenever I tried to leave or tried to be more independent. 5.no remorse when got caught cheating..said it's ok.not a big deal.doesnt feel empathy for anyone.no sense of guilt 6. Extremely greedy for money n fame I think psychopaths are extremely dangerous to be in a relationship. .dont ignore the signs and dont hesitate to leave if you suspect your partner to be a psychopath.
@Paradigm Climb Not quite but have demons inhabiting them. The worse thing is having children with such person since you have to deal with him/ her until child is grown up.
Nope, not me. Nobody gets a second chance after red flags 🚩 start popping out. Been through enough and experience will change the “2nd chance B.S.”. However, some people never learn.........and continue to get HURT
I think you are right! How many time have there been stories that people always wanted to stay “polite” by staying in a relationship, date or even stay in a friendship!
@Eris Did you change your number? When you think someone's off the best way to stop talking to them is to just stop talking to them. Block them and change your number if you have to. Don't tell them you don't want to talk anymore lol.
I had a relationship with a narcissist. I can’t tell you how damaging relationships with these people are. It’s beyond what I thought possible. It’s been 3 years since I went no contact with him and I’m still healing and will be for a long time.
@@sunnydaze2359 I would highly suggest that you educate yourself on narcissism. I’m not saying that with any malice but if you knew you wouldn’t be asking this question. I knew of the word before meeting this person but I knew very little about it. Anyone who hasn’t had personal experience with one just has no idea and will never understand completely what kind of damage occurs.
Same here. It will be 3 years for me in May & I am still shocked that I am picking up the pieces of my life and still just trying to find who I am again to this very day. I still have at least one thought of my ex every day (not missing them at all...just like ruminating thoughts about the way something went or whatever...mostly just wondering how my puppy is doing since they stole my dog from me & with the financial situation they left me in at the time, there really wasn't anything I could do about it despite my best efforts to fight back). Genuinely wishing you healing and peace on your journey...And most importantly, I wish you self-love and that you would know your inherent worth simply bc you exist and are uniquely YOU. I know that's been the hardest for me...trying to figure out who the heck I even am anymore and learning to love myself-or at the very minimum, at least learn how to stop blaming & berating myself. It's an excruciating, insidious battle that only those of us who have walked it can even fathom and I'm wishing the best things for you as you go along in your journey. Someone once told me this and it's the one thing I try to hold onto when I'm full of self-doubt, pain, or bitterness... "You may not get to actually see or hear about them suffering the consequences that their actions create in their own life-and on the surface, it may LOOK like there aren't any, but rest assured, the biggest punishment for them is simply that they are who they are." It's pure torture inside for them to be the shitty, disgusting, empty, devoid of empathy "human" that they are...even if they put up a facade & are good at hiding it.
As I'm too old now, I decided the safest way for me forward after my narcissistic psychopath died a year ago, is to stay single. I just don't want to go through this pain ever in my life again. I always thought that I don't want to grow old alone, but after this, being alone is just wonderful.
After such experience, you catch toxic patterns and red flags very early in new people you meet. It's like why does he sound like my ex husband during idealization period. Well, he does because he's a psychopath lovebombing and grooming you. You're free to detach and walk away after a little conversation with them. But it's better to be safe and secure at old age.
Currently in a relationship with someone that is somewhere on the dark triad and finding my time alone while he is at work so peaceful. I tried to get a separation, but no dice. Playing it cool for now to decide what's next.
@@rupalitupe7783 My advice is stay single for a long time. As mentioned in the vid, they prey on your weaknesses. I discovered areas of trauma I wasn't even aware of. I've been alone for 5 & 1/2 yrs (since I had my son) & am feeling pretty bullet proof. For me it has taken that long b/c the trauma as a teen was so bad and complicated. But you need to feel like you don't need another person to feel complete. That way, if someone treats you shit (as they do when they have an off moment, ie. the mask slips) you can say, ''Bye!!'' and never go back but instead go forward and find someone else who treats you like you're truly special all the time. Also, take time to get to know someone, mimic old school dating. Best of luck and blessings for the future xxoo
I didn't know there could be a combination of narc and psy. Could you elaborate? I know the smirk when the narc has when hurting what's the difference in the combination?
Angela Wegner I mistook his eager interest for being smitten with me but I misread the signals, he was just playing it up. Gals be wary of their motives, especially when they catch you off guard or by surprise. If it doesn’t feel right then it’s not. Trust your gut
@@phoenixrising8007 So basically a guy who's gaming women to get pussy -> normal guy. Guy who's gaming women to get their money -> psychopath. Woman who games guys to get their money -> normal woman... does this compute???
This should be taught in ALL schools! These people ruin lives. I was married to a narcissist for 30 yrs and felling to a relationship with a psychopath. I finally learned at age 52.
TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard to put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what. That is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband's phone and I got access to all his phone Call logs, Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email, i-cloud and social media chats without touching his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover kissing, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Florida, USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking, background check up and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this great hacker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text him directly on his phone and via Whats-app : +1 (202) 697-7171. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.
My friend's wife planted child porn on his computer and called the FBI because she was done using him. He did 5 years in federal prison. She was so good as faking being human. She was one of my best friends and screwed me over too after I gave her a free place to live. We started tracing all her friendships and found out who she really was. It's unbelievable.
I was raised by a psycho narcissist. I attracted people like this my whole life. I didn’t snap out of in until I was about 34. The self hatred is real. I’m 38 now and I’m still angry with myself for not seeing the red flags. I neglected my gut and intuition. That realization creates a different kind of trauma. It makes you question everything about yourself. I trust no one now, I can’t even hug a new person. Healing from this kind of abuse will take more years than what I have left to live.
No no. Don't be angry at yourself. I had same- and snapped out of it at 49! You're still young. I was so glad to have the information, can see it coming from a mile away now. I only let lovely people in, have shut a lot of doors and have good friends- good people. The information you have, the experience, it's gold. you know more about human nature. A lot of people stay in destructive relationships all their lives. You have been given a gift. Now, red flags- run fast. That's friends and partners.
What angers me is all the system that keep child hostages of their narcisistics parents. I was raised by one and like...my closest relative outside the nuclear family literaly was a psicologist who worked on the government lawn system to decide wich families were good to the kid. And she mised it. I had literaky a social worker, psycologist on my closest surroundings and nobody see how bad it is. But maybe thats a brazillian reality.
@@acabral2651 That's a global reality. Read my post above- you can turn it around for yourself. No point being angry, it's like yelling at the wind. people are messed up, some people should not parent. Please, don't poison yourself over their decisions. Make a wonderful life. Start with yourself. Go swimming, dancing, walking in nature. These things are real life> Only get a pet if you have time and money. (they are expensive and need you, like kids)- but help with others animals. Once you feel good, good will happen. Bitterness and anger- only hurts you.
Take your sweet time getting to know people. Reserve your dark stories for yourself and people you trust who show you empathy. Every time you hang out with someone new, write a journal entry about it. WAIT until you see them again. Think about how you felt while you were together. Healthy boundaries brings healthy relations. Anyone who pushes your boundaries doesnt have your best interests at heart. Anyone who rushes into sex, or asking deep personal questions is not thinking about your safety.
I mostly agree with you but want to add that as an empath, I always ask people lots of questions... Some deep and personal because I want deeper connections and I care about people. So not ALL who ask questions are psychopaths.
I agree that we may want to ask people deeply personal questions but as empaths we also need to have healthy boundaries. Intimacy and trust is built, not interrogated. And others with healthy boundaries might not want to answer those questions right away. And that doesnt mean anything negative necessarily.
I think one reason why the initial flattery is soo over-the-top is also because psychopaths just know that only people who can be potential victims will fall for it. It's a kind of selection process before starting their real work.
Very true. Flattery and put down don’t work for me, instead, they put me on guard. I have never dated a narcissist or psychopath. I certainly come across a few at work and social and keep them at arm’s length.
Flattery can be genuine. What a pity we prefer to keep quiet about what we find attractive in other people. Over the top flattery feels false. There is a big difference.
I was married to a psychopath. Controlling, isolating, he lacked empathy, lacked remorse, he was very hostile and had self serving behaviors through and through. I was too young to realize what I was getting into. He was handsome and charming, and like you said excessively flattering, especially to me & my family initially. I was so lucky to get away. Listen to those inner voices that warn us. Trust yourself. Trust that there are great people out there. Don’t blame yourself. Even see a counselor if need be. They can help you trust your instincts.
@@therealwewin that’s so stupid to say because Psychopaths present themselves as perfect and “nice” to get what they want. It’s only years later that people start to realise they’ve been bamboozled.
That’s a narcissist, not a psychopath! Narcissists use emotions and evokes feelings to get what they want. Psychopaths actually just want to be left alone. Please get it right.
I had to go to intense therapy because of how bad I got messed up. Every once in a while a simple thing can make me tick and feel extremely anxious. Even after all the therapy I went through it’s something that I’m not sure will ever heal. Feeling completely used and dumped by someone you completely loved is the worst feeling.
Just getting away from him.. trying to. He won't stop. But yes, same. Heartbroken by the tinman... but yes.. I feel like I don't know who or what's real anymore. He wanted to make me think I was crazy.. and to be honest, he almost got me there 100%. I was the perfect target.. I'm an empath. Opposite of what he was and the easiest person to take advantage of.. or so he thought. Hope you and your heart heal fully in time. Not all ppl are monsters. In fact I used to believe that most ppl are more light than dark. I would like to believe that's true again 💔
Take your time in relationships, don’t trust easily, don’t let your emotions dictate your logic and analytical reasoning. Be aware of people who compliment a lot and want to move fast and meet in private places. Trust your guts. God bless.
The problem with this is that you assume that a psychopath’s behavior is predictable. A psychopath is a social chameleon who knows how to blend in with the crowd when they want to. They can make themselves appear natural when they want to. They can hide their intentions very effectively. They can master their self control with practice. So.....GOOD LUCK SPOTTING ONE!
I think too, they wait in general to be hit on. They let you come to them if they're the really smart ones. The are always playing their act and patiently wait for someone to be watching and be charmed by them. They're very good at making everything look like your idea.
I briefly dated someone who clearly had psychopathic traits. He truly scared me at times and instead of apologizing, he was offended when I told him so. He also wanted to move our relationship *waaaay* too fast.
This sounds familiar to me also- the turning the tables on you. It feels so invasive, and twisted. The sense of they're violating my emotions, my perception of things, my boundaries. This person really liked to do this, make himself the victim, when he was the offender. He was so manipulative, he got me to feel sorry for him. To the point of apologising to him, when he was lying, and hiding things from me and more. He made me feel tied up in knots, couldn't even respond in the moment, as my sense of reality was being messed with, I needed time to disentangle myself, separate my feelings from his, and respond appropriately. He showed up in my life, and asked me out, in the end, he acted and said I was "disturbing" him with my reactions. Well excuse me for having a normal human reaction to my being disrespected and mistreated.i
When he says to make sure your next partner knows what you went through (with a psychopath or narcissist) that's something to do with caution. Many narcissists and psychopaths seek out people who have already been abused because they know that they're pre-qualified to be open to manipulation. They will act very concerned and caring and then use everything you told them to manipulate you again. That happened to me, twice, until I fully healed using a trauma recovery programme designed to heal narcissistic abuse completely (Melanie Tonia Evan's NARP programme) You need to wait until you're sure that you're with a decent and normal person before you recite your relationship history in such detail. Then it can be used as a place to build trust from not as a stepping stone into further abuse.
Thank you for posting this. It's a very important point. If I ever date again (and to be honest I may never have an intimate relationship again because of the trauma from the "relationship" with the Narcissistic Psychopath), I will be wary of sharing my past with them for the reasons you describe. Another reason is that I don't want to feel stuck in victim mode, either with myself or in the eyes of my partner. I prefer to see myself as an unfortunate target who is doing their best to heal and has learned a lot from a horrific experience.
1st partner was a narcissist, 2nd was a clinical psychopath (formally diagnosed after things ended) who said and did all the right things when I was in a vulnerable state due to the abuse of the 1st one. As a result I'm not sure I'd want to tell anyone in the initial phases of a relationship what I've been through again as I'm positive this is exactly what the psychopath found 'attractive " about me in the 1st place. Then again I don't really let people get close to me any more after all of that, let alone start new relationships so it's kind of a moot point for me at least
Psycho path red flags, they are sarcastic, sweet, condescending, cannot admit to their wrongs. They are control freaks, emotional abusive (neglectful willfull).but are very kind and extremely delusional. They are not in touch with reality. They love to play psychological games. Women, please guard your hearts. You men also.
The excessive flattery is called "love bombing." They mirror your likes and act as though they like the same things. I dated one of these vile creatures once. Something seemed off at the beginning, but I didn't understand till 3 months down the line. That's when I started learning about psychopaths.
Well there’s also a difference between that and people who feign interest to send the message, “I like you a lot, I am interested in you.” Like tons of times I have a conversation with girls in my classes over the years where you’d express interest in something completely obscure to everyone in the room, then later these people would inquire about it and say hey that’s pretty interesting and blah blah blah so they can just get a chance to talk to you. Is it psychopathic to employ this method of social strategy? No. It’s simply just giving leeway for these people to enter into your own headspace so you can be introduced to them. However, yes. You’re right. If they do this in the long run and then suddenly drop interest in the topic, showing they never cared in the first place. Yes, that’s completely fucked.
If you have had any experience with a sociopath, you can tell the difference between flattery and pretending to have a common interest to love bombing. Love bombing is really over the top. Also, they must tick several other boxes to be sociopathic. For instance, there is usually a pattern of pathological lying, even when it's more convenient to tell the truth. They are often extremely charming, and they play victim to get you to feel sorry for them. Their pity stories are completely made up. I only know these things because I embarked on a course of study of sociopaths after I inadvertently dated one in 2008. Sadly, they are so convincing and sincere sounding that it takes getting played by one before you can recognize them.
Yes! They pretend to like the same things as you, and once they know you're not gonna leave them, they start to show their true face and likes. At least the one I dated was pretty basic, I didn't "fell in love" with him, the person I met in the beginning was just a character. I understand that I ended up with him because of my low self-steem, but my experience with that type of person taught me that at least I have my own personality and I'm beautiful. I think I had to hit rock bottom with that piece of shit to realise how valuable I am. Now that I blocked him, I feel really good and my life has changed for good :)
One thing I've notice about narcissists and psychopaths is they dont like kissing, long hugs or any type of close physical intimacy. My ex narc never kissed me or his mom, or anyone. They'll do it when put on the spot or feel its expected to keep up appearances, but never willingly.
@@sonofhibbs4425 we're talking about narcissists... not normal people. Narcissists... abused or not... all have a checklist of commonalities and they all act a certain way. I was abused and am not much of a hugger. As for my ex narc, he was never abused... quite the opposite in fact. He was very spoiled by his mother and she would defend and excuse all his bad behavior.
I survived a psychopath and it took years to recover and realize what a normal relationship should look. Anytime I watch a video like this I get chills because it’s scary knowing I was with someone who inherently lacks empathy.
I am 56 and I still do not know what a Normal relationship is because I was raised by a Psychopath then Married to one and have just remained single out of fear of doing that again.
Been there too, sadly more than once.There is nothing worse than feeling alone, while in a relationship. I have been single a few years now, I am very happy and will stay this way. Being a couple is not for me anymore.
You're right. I'm married to someone like this right now. He'd lie and try to convince you the sky is red when we all know it's blue. My husband is always telling B.S. stories like "The mailman left me a note praising me for cleaning the snow away from the mailbox." When asked to see the "note" he got angry. Of course, he did. I need to get out of this relationship and as soon as things with COVID change, I will.
Trying to protect myself out in these streets lol. I have a narcissistic mother so figured I'd arm myself with knowledge of all these dangerous personality disorders. Stay safe folks, they walk among us
That's a really negative way of looking at it. There are people with personality disorders who abuse other people and there are people with personality disorders who don't abuse other people. People with schizoid personality disorder dont even like forming close bonds or relationships. They often prefer working alone and are content spending lots of time by themself. I'm throwing this out there because you may end up offending somebody by generalizing your past experiences around the idea that people with personality disorders are abusive
@@jiltedlittle6868 That's true, thanks for adding that. I didn't mean to generalize, it was a video on dating a psychopath so I thought it was implied I was talking about those that abuse their partners/family members. There are definitely people with personality disorders who don't abuse others for sure!
First guy I dated after relationship ended with suspected psychopath, I got very upset about something and was like sobbing in front of this new guy and then I braced myself for the reaction I usually got when I was emotional, which was criticism, invalidation of feelings, blame, or just confusion, and instead got sympathy and I was shocked. I had been with decent people before, obviously, but I basically forgot that most people feel bad when someone is sobbing in front of them.
Most people want to comfort someone who is crying. Unless they are crying crocodile tears to avoid being held accountable for doing something wrong. There's a difference.
20 years married to a narcissistic psychopath. Been divorced from him 28 years now. Still healing. No romantic relationship since. Can’t bring myself to risk hooking up with another. The fear is still there. I have been through counseling, EMDR treatment, hypnosis, but the fear of another relationship scares the hell out of me….still. He did a lot of damage.
Same 10 years and been single coming up to 4 years now. Met a great guy but continued to sabotage the relationship because I couldn’t bare the thought of hurting the e same way so anytime we had a little disagreement which was nothing compared to the Narc I would run. I can’t have a relationship again I’m too damn scared of relationships
@@RebuildingWithClarity .....sad isn't it. We are the recipients of horrible narcissist abuse. They say a narcissist is either born that way with a defective brain, or they suffered unbelievable abuse mentally/physically, or , and this one (I believe) is what happened to my once husband, a over the top doting mother. She spoiled him to the point he believed he was a GOD! I'm NOT EXAGGERATING. SHE WAS F'ING NUTS! At the end of her life, she was in a nursing home. He wouldn't even go see her. He would be "inconvenienced" if he had to take time out of his life to do that. Typical Narcissistic Sociopath.
He comes straight to the point...psychopaths are really good in disguising themselves. Always follow your gut feeling. All psychopaths are narcasissts aswell, I guess.
You're right. They try to sweep you off your feet. Taking it slow is a good way to interrupt their charade. At least, it allows us to examine the situation and set boundries.
I befriended a man with common friends online lately. He started showering me with many compliments and told me he was in love with me the first week. It felt uneasy and my gut told me no. He kept going even though I told him I don't know him so well to feel the same way. He got offended and told me that he already has offers turned down for me. I distanced myself for a few days, then he was ok, then love attack again, as if he couldn't understand. He even had plans of marriage and living together and stuff. He blamed me indirectly for not giving in. Educated and decent man in his community. But my instinct says no, even though I am at a vulnerable situation. After telling him that this situation really stresses me, he told me "good luck then". He was pissed off and disappeared. I could write a book about narcissists - this was the latest example. But I know better now.. Please do yourselves a favor and leave. I am mostly alone but at least I don't suffer abuse and mind-control.
@adamhuffman3354 I adore cats, so yes, I will probably end up a cat lady. So happy you have a puppy, dogs are adorable, too. Pets better than most people!!
It’s hard if an empath falls in love with one bc you feel bad for them and feel everyone deserves to be loved. But ultimately yes you need to protect yourself. It’s hard to understand they don’t feel your love the way you would feel love.
"Psychopathes ask very personal questions". Very true. The first week I started to date my ex narcissic, he asked me "how you and your ex used to make love" I was shocked. That was the first sign I ignored!
@Andromeda Skywalker @Andromeda Skywalker actually people who sleep around a lot, especially women, have trouble pair bonding in a long term relationship. Sorry you're a slit. Your probably going to end up a lonely cat lady.
"It is not necessary for aggression or violence to be present in order to commit evil, simply lacking empathy and understanding is enough." That right there is key to understanding a psychopath, is understanding that they operate from an empty space...thays why they devour others emotions...because they don't really have any
I had many gut feelings that I ignored because of "love". These people don't even understand what love is, always trust your gut and listen to your instincts. Never ever doubt yourself, even if it's something really minor.
I really like this guy. He's intuitive. I'd like him as a therapist! One of the main things he said: "They [psychopaths] don't know any other way." Chilling.
@Morgan What’s chilling is they don’t know any better. They will never change and become a better person because of it. They don’t want to change and think nothing is wrong with them, it’s everyone else. My xwife is a sociopath. Also diagnosed with split personality disorder with bipolar disorder sprinkled on top. Divorced for 2 years now can’t tell you how “light” I feel being single.
@@chadjohnson438 that's not chilling at all; it's heartbreaking. This is someone's baby that became divergent in a way that the rest of us can't understand well-enough to find a way to communicate with them.
@@chadjohnson438 you're also using incorrect terminologies. The Dr. literally corrects the term Socipathy. There is also no such thing as a split personality disorder...
Tell yourself “It could have happened to anyone. That you will learn from your mistakes. That you will be in better touch with your feelings going forward and that you will make sure that your next partner understands exactly what you went through.” Excellent advice
Three things: 1 - I thought I was going to be bored by this interview (because I know all about psychopaths unfortunately) - but I was not. 2 - This doctor is speaking truth - what spot-on answers - no fluff. 3 - the interviewers questions were also spot-on - very specific, and most we normal people would want answers to. Worth the watch!
Thank you for providing clinical evidence supporting my gut. I recently witnessed all of the behavior discussed during a traumatic encounter with a male. It ended there.
This guy is rite. My ex was a true diagnoses psychopath. The court appointed a shrink we both had to go see during our court case. She asked me to come see her alone. After she had spoken to my ex. So i did. She told me that in all her 25 years of counseling people she was going to tell me something she had Never had to say to anyone before. And that was to move away! Get out! Get as far as i could get! Her advice to me was to move in the middle of the night. Just to make sure i got away safely. She told me she would talk to the judge, and assured me everything would be ok. That i wouldn't have to go to the last court case my lawyer and her would advocate on my behalf. So i moved to another city with my two children and i have Never looked back. She also told me the things my ex had said to her in his meeting's with her. She told me to NEVER go anywhere alone. And to not tell anyone were i was going. Not relatives! Not friends! No one! And to always! always! Look and pay attention to my surrounding! Change my phone number, And to get it unlisted! She even told me to get my utilities in someone else's name for my safety. The day he realized i had left the home i was living in he went syco! And had to be hospitalized for loosing his mind. Iv found out through friends in the police force that he has been hospitalized several times since i left. I was granted a divorce. And he married again. He beat her up to just like he did to me and my kids. He cheated on her too several times. He has been in other relationship's. However i still have family through my now marriage that live in the town next to him, and he is still trying to find out were i and my kids live. They are grown up now with kids of their own. And the last thing they want is to see that sycophantic anywhere near them. Both my kids have said if he comes around they will get a restraining order. I do want to say its funny how these PEOPLE Claim to love you. Or They say they only want to see the kids. Even now. But very quickly who ever they are speaking to quickly realize's its NOT the KIDS they want to see. Its YOU THEIR TRYING TO GET TO!! When a sycophantic'so second, or third word out of their mouth's are, do you know were my ex wife lives? Is she still married to that other guy? Whats his name again? Is she dating anyone? Does she work? Were does she work? Or he is still trying to gain sympathy from those he's talking to by saying you left him for someone else. Or constantly runs around blaming your now husband for you not returning to him. Even though your new husband wasn't the reason you broke up in the first place. Ya he's only interests in you! He's still trying to get to you! Not your kids.
This "Circus Sex" is TRUE! He only wanted me so he could get into my home from his apartment with his son, get ahead on his finances, and make me the house cleaner, sex hole, and agreeable. He tried so hard to squash my fire.
That’s exactly what my ex-husband‘s doing and God knows what he’s carrying to that poor woman she’s already been married once and had kids from two different relationships and it’s actually his brother-in-law‘s little sister so she was easy prey because if you know anything about these characters they study their prey they know exactly who you are what you want to your friends are and they’re going to get into your phones they’re going to know all your conversations so they can manipulate you further mine had hacked my computers he was in my computers he put recorders in my car he also put a deer camera in our house to catch the security code because I knew things were being moved in torn up I was with mine since my teens all the way in my 40s and I am severely traumatized so is my youngest my oldest knows exactly who he is and I told her she’s playing with fire
@@cindithomas7440 Nobody’s diagnosing anything he specifically said not just Psycho Pass but Narcisista narcissism is not a diagnosis and when I’m talking I’m talking about narcissism I have no idea what the Hells wrong with my ex nor do I want to diagnose him or figure it out because whatever the fuck it is it can’t be cured
Psychopaths won't take no for an answer, even on a first meeting in a social setting. When they come after you it's so intense and they guilt trip you and use emotional blackmail if you reject their advances or show no interest. I've had them lecture me about needing someone to take care of me in my old age - when I tell them I haven't dated for over 20 years and never will again and have no interest in relationships. They try to change my mind. They also try to rush you into a relationship after only one date, declaring undying love........you just know it's BS and a big red flag.
Also he knocked on my door for the first time date and my dad didnt really like talk to him lik tht but i guess my dad told my mom he had a weird feeling about him but idk of my dad just being my dad or if he got a weird vibe from him
Left a psychopath relationship just recently. Relationship was on and off for 3 years, never felt so confused in my life. Very toxic, love bombing, gaslighting, narcissistic tendencies. I may admit I am a workaholic and didn’t have a place at the time; being codependent. Just glad I survived, but still healing.
I met a few in my life. What has always saved me is that I have a high sense of equality. I expect the same from men and women, from me and my partner. I proactively try to show that I am a reliable, trustworthing and caring person, and that is exactly what I am expecting. If I notice signs that he doesn't notice what I am doing and/or doesn't give back I am gone without explanation. Six to eight weeks are normally enough to find out. I also have to say that my sense of fairness is much higher than my desire to be in a romantic relationship.
Signs of a Psychopath: 1- callous disregard 2 - no remorse 3 - hostile 4 - don’t care about exploiting others in order to meet their own needs 5 - more males are psychopaths but there are more female psychopaths than we believe Signs: - excess flattery - asking personal questions (to get a sense of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities) to use against you - there is no equality or intimacy, the objective is only winning the game - they say words but emotions don’t match into it ; leaves you feeling unsettled and distrusted. Those who fall prey for the psychopaths are generally vulnerable: - the Lonely - the elderly - the sad Sex with the psychopath: - they have more and often encounters regardless of status - they do it for boredom - for power - for money - for housing - circus sex is not with true intimacy. How to heal: - can take years to trust again due to the trauma. Results: Processing anger What can you say to yourself in order to recover- - it can happen to anyone - you will learn from your mistakes - sharing your trauma to foster trust in your next relationship How to manage a relationship with someone who has been traumatized by abuse: 13:09- end.
Thank you for the summary....I was getting anxious with his very long drawn out approach. I prefer to listen to Dr. Ramani... I like her communication style better.
- Callous disregard in relationships - Don't show remorse - They are impulsive, hostile -They can be aggressive but not necessarily murderous - They don't care about exploiting others cause all they really care about is their own needs - There's no equality or intimacy with 'em. ( They couldn't care less, it's a game to 'em,they can be ruthless and they will win) ( Audience note- one indicator-) No matter the specifics/mechanics in the interaction, something about the interaction left you feeling a little unsettled or a bit distrusting. - They tend to be more promiscuous/tend to have more and shorter relationships. - Research shows they tend to have sex for: boredom,power,money,a housing situation etc... - And many more
honestly, that depends really. if you feel like a friend of yours is a psychopath, you would most likely be in denial. make sense since no one wants a psychpath as a friend.
In the midst of leaving the 2nd narc in a row.ive been with. Truth! So much.worse.the second time. The stuff he said truly makes.me.think demonic influence.
@@vikvegas8593 currently discarding a psychopath who caused so much trouble I got kicked out of my apartment I got to get away from my covert narc ex.. now I'm back at my first exe's bc my parents live far out of town, and I have no friends due to being isolated from them bc of first ex.. I am literally back having to put my life back together, keep sane and heal in the place that almost broke me.. while also having my new ex gaslight me and threaten me and the ex I now live with bc he thinks we are screwing and that's why I went back.. the one I live with is trying to pressure me to take him back, even tho I know he's a covert narcissist.. I'm standing firm on my hard NO.. I'm so stressed and depressed I'm literally on the verge of a mental breakdown from living like this and trying to love again get myself out of this situation and back to myself.. I don't know what to do bc even my therapist doesn't seem to understand the depths of the narc abuse I've been thru in my life, and I don't want medication, which is all they usually offer.. Idk what to do..
I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that trama for so long! I left one after a little more than 6 years but it took almost 4 years to finally divorce him. At first it was amazing being with him but after a while He physically & mentally abused me. He took advantage of me in every way. I took me years before I finally healed. Be thankful you’re getting out. I wish you nothing but good things in life from now on.
i.m sorry for you, i was married to one for 17 years, he still wants to controle me! he has a hold on my daughter, and her sons ,she is 45 but doesn't see it., the shrink said he has bipolar, i don't know how to get over it. Been on my own now for 25 years!
When we are children our parents negate our perceptions. We are told we don’t know what we’re talking about. This sends a message to us children to not trust our own observations. It took me years to recover from my childhood trauma and finally realized I was correct in my perceptions 💯%. This really damages our self esteem and trusting who we are. I went no contact from my family of origin many years ago.
Felt. My mom conditioned me to be a co-dependent with impostor syndrome and it took me yeeeeeears to even begin to trust my gut versus convince myself that I'm being "silly" or "dramatic." Sorry you had to go no contact, but I'm glad you have made a great recovery :)
I went no contact with my mother in the 1970's! There wasn't the internet or people talking about how this was even an option. Yes it very hard to not belong to a family- yet soooooo much worse to be with a sick/ dysfunctional one!
This is so refreshing to hear... I am going through the same thing and felt guilt about going no contact. Also I was becoming more depressed from how noone wants to legitimise the trauma i was put through my entire childhood and adolescence... So letting go of them was the beginning of my healing process but it's still so hard.
I woke up about my family some years ago. In reality I've always felt that someting was odd and wrong but even in the environment where we lived. I've always want to escape or someone to take me and save me. But I'm not sure if now I'm messed up too. I think there Is a large part of me that is toxic. When I'm feeling fine Is the only time when I'm miles away from them but in reality they are always present in my mind or in my beaviour. Not to mention the fact that here in Italy, if you stop seeing your parents and sibilings, you are considered an asshole and for everyone YOU are the wrong. Sometime I just want to end my life and my suffer. Glad to ear that you recover and that I'm not crazy about my gut feelings. Big hug.
He neglected to mention major clues. They have LOTS of charm and charisma, are fun to be around because it's stimulating and enjoyable for any of us to be around someone who always says something humorous, is quick witted and puts those around them in a good mood. People are drawn to them this way when they are 'on' in social situations. Also, they have no anxiety, they have nerves of steel and are risk-takers. A normal person's usual social anxiety talking to someone they are attracted to, and hoping to get something started with them, or at a party, etc., usually makes the other person a little ill at ease as well, because we empathize with them - maybe even subliminally. There is no easy or humorous social banter to make us laugh, feel good, etc.. (unless the other person is a caregiver type and finds fulfillment in "helping", in this case helping the nervous person feel more comfortable.) When not 'on' in a social setting, they can radiate an almost reptillian coldness. They get stony, fixed empty shark eyes, and can be very arrogant, even to people they hardly know. You can sense after a while (I did) how they view other people like chess pieces, even to the point of somehow manipulating who another person stands next to in a large group, just for the psychpath to see how one reacts to the other. With contempt? Fear? Attraction? Then that data is filed away for some future use to manipulate. They can seem like two or more people sharing the same body, as if they can switch on different personas, chameleon-like, according to what they feel is necessary in different situations. Their voice can even change, their posture, etc.. They can have tremendous sex appeal because they have no inhibitions and are so fearless, nothing intimidates them. They often act like the 'king of the realm' because of the secret power they feel having everyone duped by them so easily. It makes them contemptuous of others. They rarely show their hand, and rein in their sense of power, often pretending to be accomodating, reasonable and open to the persuasion of others in little ways that don't really matter to them, just to throw people off their scent. They live.
@@sunnyboy4553 How true about lying! You'll ask them 'What time is it', and they'll hesitate for 3 seconds before saying 'It's about 5', but never will say straight away 'It's 5.05'. And it a simplest example.
@Paradigm Climb But why do they WANT the entities in them? I'm thinking satanism - but I don't understand why they would Want these attachments. I think you are right, but I like to know just why they let these things in or on them?? I'd very much appreciate your answer. Thank you
I met someone and felt weird about his behaviour but my emotions got in the way. Those who would become my in-laws slightly gave me signs, what I see now as red flags, which I ignored. It took me years of abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting to finally file for divorce. He was a master of faking and lying chipping away my confidence and self-esteem daily. He'd make jokes or rude comments about the way I spoke, my hairstyle, the way I ate, walked, and wore my clothes. He'd victimise himself to convince me to comply. It taught me I have emotional weaknesses that I must deal with.
How do you know if you're dealing with a psychopath...their eyes don't match what they are saying, their emotions can be switched on/off at will to get them what they want, the emotions in their voice always sound rehearsed. Not all psychopaths are murderers, mine was! Step-father was a drug addict, sadistic drug dealer, child molester, sexual deviant/sex addict, highly volatile, extremely arrogant, so remorseless he acted like he was entitled to use and abuse others, narcissitic, violent, and eventually murdered my mother. A predator to the very core! He destroyed every life he touched and he did it with a song in his heart. One of those people that when they die people say the world is a better place without them.
Kelly, how horrid for you to have to have known someone who should have put a song in your heart for being His daughter, actually put such sad memories there instead. Your expression that he did all of that evil "with a song in his heart" reminds me of the day my husband pretended to feel so sorry that he had ruined our marriage with infidelity, yet he was merrily singing a cheating country song, without knowing that I had returned, + the look of shock that I had seen him without his fake empathy mask on his face+ denial of singing in a completely joyous tone was priceless. When I commented that he sounded very happy, his futile denial of joy while singing "their" favorite lust tune,told me that his empathy for my devistation was just a part of his deception that he cared at all about the intense pain I felt. Those who wont repent of their evil will be singing a different tune in their final destination, however. God bless you + grant you healing from this atrocity,dear Kelly.
I think that if you go through the trauma of being in a relationship with a psychopath and you survive you become a stronger person and are more aware of how you impact others as well.
@Secret Garden it’s actually crazy that you just replied with this. So there is this theory that certain people who experience some kind of trauma are activated within the spiritual (psychic) realm. The trauma from that experience brings that about. So I definitely would say that is most likely what happened and you are 100% correct with what happened with you.
@Secret Garden Well what can I say... I like my lashes as black as my heart and as long as the list of people that I want to punch in the face. Thank you for your compliment , your very kind.
My ex was a complete psychopath and a narcissist. We definitely had the circus sex because he wanted to move in. There was no intimacy and no flattery in my situation. He was a drug user and alcohol and sex and gambling addict. He never complimented me he barely could even walk with me he would always walk way ahead of me and made me feel ashamed of just being me. It was war from day one. I was losing everything that made me myself and he was the one helping to slowly erase me. It was so damaging and I’m just now realizing how much damage was done. To anyone who has gone through this my prayers go out to you❤
@@missellenmartin4152 ? What mask? You're defaming this man's character from a video of him using facial expressions to visually describe his point? Wow and Wrong.
Yet god allows psychopaths into the world and doesn't kill them all off with accidents in infancy before they fuck up people who aren't psychopaths...maybe "god" doesn't exist...
@@lynette599 He did not Create any part of Creation to be less than perfect. Sin did and does that, even with you and me. We can reach perfection. Through Jesus Christ only.
I had a friend from highschool. I always sense something is not right about him. First, he appears normal and friendly. If you look closely, his words and actions are subtly abusive. The more you know him, the more abusive he will show. He is also very popular and he plans every move. I interacted with him a few years ago. Sometimes his actions made me feel uneasy. It was gut instinct. He used people and didn't care about their feelings. I thought he was a bad friend and abusive but I had never thought he could possibly be a psychopath. Recently, I remembered he always had to pause before reacting to a situation. He knew how to behave in social group. He acted smoothly in almost every situation. It made no sense why he had to pause and to be confused. Then I realize when he paused, he had no emotion. He waited for people in the group to show emotion and then he copied it and acted like it was his own. I remember everytime I met him, he behaved like that. It sends me chill when I realize how lucky I am to cut contact with him. Now he has more experience, it may be harder to spot his no emotion moment. I wonder how many victims he has in his hands. I once thought he was a good guy and he acted sure like one.
A. How to know a narcist people in relationship? Stage 1:-Love bombing & Idealization 1. They show himself as a generous person,helpful person,culture person,religious person.They used their charming personality,inteligence,beauty to trap you in their love.At first they started giving show so much caring,so much love,so much time,attention, started praising your beauty,your qualities.Due to this you started ignoring narcistic people other aspects like their nature, behaviour,personality.If you want to save yourself from their trap then dont fall in love for beauty,attraction or intelligence. 2.When a person try everything very fast..Like meeting,dating,talking,gift giving..They do all this because they don't want to give time to you for thinking and use your IQ to difference what is right or wrong.This is called love bombing. They attached their code in your mind. 3. Stared future faking like show big future of love relationship, always try to attract other person through offering sex,time,costly gift and seductive talk. 4. They started mirroring you that means first they collect knowledge from you what you like and what you dislike.Then they started liking, interest in those things in which you have like or interest to show empath that his mentality and empath mentality is totally same.They can read and copy you and also their behavior change as per people intentions..Their face mask changed people to people.. 5. They always hide their feelings and always show themselves as victim.Like family,friends,society all are against them and they always play victim card.They show themselves as very lonely,in problem,no one is for them.They show themselves such type of victim as they want heeling or support from other person. 6. They always like compliments from you but they dont give any compliments to you. 7. If you ask any question to them they will either delay ,avoid to reply or may change the topic. They never give direct answers to you. 8. During converstaion they always change the focus and topic towards themself. They never give you chance to express your thoughts.Ex-If a narcist go for shoping with his friends if you ask them,how is your shoping? They dont tell you about what they did shoping whereas they may say one of his friend jealous with him for his dress,they may say that in mall some girls stabing them in bad intentions.They create this type of fake story to make attention of other person towards him in every conversation. 9. They always target people who have strong personality, higher status than them or have lower status than them. Most of toxic relationship are comes under narcistic people. 10. They afraid when you talk about marriage with them because they afraid of taking any responsibility of marriage. Stage -2-Devaluation 1. Sometimes available sometimes not available.Avoid,ignore game,late reply,devaluing once they know you are fall in love with him.They ignore you for many reason like to get attention, admiration,energy from you.They also ignore you if you expose them or red handed caught them in telling lie or Cheating.They may ignore you if they found any other person in their life. They may ignore you as a punishment to control you and to make yourself dependent on them. 2. Never admit own fault.Telling lie in every matter. Shift own blame to other.If he red handed caught in telling lie then never admit own fault instead of started criticism to other person.This is called gas lighting.They started prove you that you are over possesive,over sensitive. 3. Used manipulate word,love word to others when he feels other person is far away from him. To hold on you or use you as a option for long time they confusing you showing love sometime. Sometimes show love and affection where as sometimes angry and quarrel with you on sily matters. 4. If you want his help for any situation he ignore to help you or they act like he forget or totally deny. 5. They always fall in love for sex, beauty,status not for love or emotions because they have no emotions at all.They always set a goal in every relationship.To achieve that goal they may go to any extent.They always cheat their partner in relationship. 6. Narcist always try to control you.They try to cut you from your friend circle, family circle.They do this because they want that you only depend on them for talking,visiting and giving time..They dont to see you happy..and ultimately it creates co dependent relationship with them. 7. Sometimes they will like you. Sometimes dislike you.They always try to confused you. 8. After marriage they withhold sex to manipulate you.They used sex as a tool to control you or dominate you as per their will.Sometimes they dont do sex with their partner to control their partner. They are emotionless.Sometimes they show their love with physical touch to your body.If they stop touching your body to show love then you may make sure that narcist got any other person for them. Stage-3-Bring another person Triangular love 1. They bring another person to his life and introduce him with his current partner. 2. They will bring the type of situation where he avoid current partner and say current partner to adjust with his new partner.He may try with manipulate words,silent trick and avoid game. Through this type of work he forced his partner to accept his new relationship. 3. If you ask anything to narc about their new relationship they always tell you that you are over sensitive,over possesive, over caring,you are wrong,your thought process is wrong. Ex- They tell you that one of my friend text me and ask me about my beauty.when you ask who is she? Then they show you his mob screen shot to show himself very clean but hide the other part of conversation to confuse you and show you that you are wrong. 4. Sometimes they knowingly started argue with you till your all energy drain.They may not stop arguing with you till you are accepting your fault or say sorry to him.They want to blame you for everything. Stage-4- Discard When they think that you are over possesive or not go as per their intentions then they will block you, discard you.They suddenly stop talking with you and started boycott,discarding you. Stage 5- Hoovering After 1 month,2 month or 6 month even if after 1 year they suddenly unblock you,started message you or started talking with you,recontacting you. They started all this because at that time they have no option,supply with him,there is no one with him.Thats why they need you. And again they started the same cycle with you till a another person come to his life. B. How to save yourself from narcist? Ans:- 1. Just block him from every social media and never comeback to narcist person life. Go ahead and move on. Never in this life time try to contact narcist. If you try to contact with him they will definitely take revenge with you and will do the same cycle.If in future they text you or call you then dont talk with him or dont reply them.Dont prove them they are wrong and dont criticise them.If you reply them then they will started manipulating talk and their words will destroy your mind and peace.They will attach their code in your mind and you again faceing problem to avoid them.They will comeback to your life only to take revenge.Remeber You are narcistic people big enemy because you escape yourself from their manipulating game.This thing hurt their ego. 2. Don't search love from outside of the world.Connect yourself with god for love.see yourself as Krishna point of view.Love Krishna and serve Krishna.Everything in world is false.Every relationship is false.Love Krishna and do bhakti to krishna. 3. Don't expect love,validation from outside world.Your good work will be reward by god oneday.Became a partner of yourself. Never depend upon anyone. Believe on Krishna and depend only on Krishna.Always focus on your goal. 4. Always stand for your own feeling. Don't go for those people who never respect your self respect. 5. Change the nature of loving others after getting insult or devalue from them. Make self respect your first priority. 6. Set boundaries for yourself. Stop believing what others saying good about you,why others showing good behaviors towards you.Narcistic people may compliment you,respect you or give credit to you as per their need from you.They know that you are hunger of validation.They used it as a weapons to manipulate you or take their work from you. 7. Stop explaining and defend yourself. They will never admit that they have any fault because they don't want to loose control over .so don't waste your time on them. Krishna knows very well who you are and what your intentions is. 8. Don't respond or give reaction to their silent treatment,anger . You may follow silence to their every reaction.If you don't follow silence then your own energy are taken by them and you feeling extreme tense and depression. 9. Never make victimize yourself in front of others to get symapthy from narcist or other persons. Never wants sympathy from others.Work on yourself and get out from your problem without wanting help from others.Believe in Krishna. 10.Never expose your plan infront of themself or expose themselves that you know that he is narcist. 11. Always work up on yourself.Work upon your weak point so that in future no one able to use your weak point against you. Do meditation daily to clean your aura. Balancing your masculine and feminine energy with meditation. 12.Never brings expectations while making any relationship.Never share your expectations with anyone.Just remember people will come to your life as per my karmic account and one day they will go from my life once my karmic account will close with those person.
Oh my gosh, the part when he explains how traumatic the dating of a psychopath or narcissist is that it takes years to trust. And everything after that is so true! I dated a full blown narcissist whom I think was also psychopathic. I haven’t dated since him because I don’t trust any man I come across. It will be 3 years in May. I’d rather be single forever than risk that hell again. I had just moved to Seattle and was isolated, alone, and lonely. Perfect target. Horrid human being who had no qualms about destroying me as a woman and as a human being
Yup, same thing happened to me i seattle. I was new and wanted to connect with ppl. Welp, that happened. Then it happened again. hope you are doing well.....focus on the good in life and how to spot these signs....dont let it make you bitter or make you lose out on love.....thats my worst fear, that I will be bitter and resentful.
Steph I haven't dated anyone in years, for personal reasons. I know you don't need anyone to be validated, but I would like to ask, if I may, are you single just because of fear? You know logically that not everyone is like him. And if you want someone to share your life with I don't think its fair - for you - to live alone or be lonely because of that a**hole. Do you think therapy might help you find your balance and be well to start dating again? You suffered enough, you dont need more hurt on his behalf. You deserve to be happy and loved.
There are a lot of psychopaths leading companies. They are able to charm their way to the top and they tread on everyone they need to on the way up. No wonder the world is all about money, power and greed. Decency is falling by the wayside.
I was married to a psychopath for 16 years. The trauma was residual. He was a wife beater, an alcoholic and a cheater. Just being touched by a man inspires a jolt of revulsion. The worst thing is how damaging it was to my family. I was blamed for staying and rejected for leaving. I’m healing. Starting to trust myself a little bit at a time. It’s been a little over a yeat
My ex-husband was a cold selfish man who put me down constantly. I was in my early 30s when we split. 3 years later I met a loving, kind, good looking man who seemed to worship me. I fell completely in love with him. However, 1 year into the relationship, he caused a silly argument and hit me in the head (whilst I was driving). I was so shocked, but he was so sorry after. Months would go by without incident and it was bliss. Then out of the blue, the temper returned. And it was so bad. I did EVERYTHING I could not to argue about anything at all, but his temper was terrible, he would also hit other people, everything was about him the whole time and he was so angry at the World. I stayed 6 years. I had become introverted, depressed, frightened and unable to see my family. When I finally came to my senses and suddenly ended the relationship I felt relief and calm, but left with the terrible guilt of putting myself and my family through this for so long. A few years later the Police informed me under 'Clares Law' that he also abused his next partner. And more shockingly his ex-wife before me had 'died' and he had served 8 years for her manslaughter. Don't EVER think this cannot happen to you. If ANYTHING feels wrong, walk away.
"The Psychopath is motivated above all else by POWER! Life is a chess game, they are PERPETRATORS and they are going to win!" NEVER "ENABLE" THEIR DELUSIONS!
Great video! I would add, after a particularly bad experience, that the second you think you're being too harsh or judgmental or second guessing your inclination toward someone (that "off" feeling you're getting) you should RUN, don't walk to the nearest exit. That is your big red flag. After several months of drama and not listening enough to myself, I finally got out with the help of law enforcement. If nothing else, please always do a gut check. You're smart, kind and empathetic or you wouldn't be here, so know that you're not being too judgmental or harsh; your inner self is giving you a warning. Listen to it.
That's why it is good to have goals in a relationship and the importance of personal development. If you have these you will feel dissatisfied after a short time with an inappropriate partner and get out of the relationship in time.
The word 'SOULMATE' comes to mind...'I have met my SOULMATE'. ..BIG RED FLAG! Because initially, very soon after meeting, they lovebomb you and make you feel you are the most special person in the world...they mirror you so that if you like music, THEY like music, if you like reading, THEY like reading, if you like to travel, THEY like to travel...they treat you like a queen/king...so you cannot believe your luck that you are the one to have actually met your SOULMATE. You might even realize that things are moving too fast, but you don't care because YOU are so blessed as to have met your....SOULMATE.
The difference in someone saying to someone "you're the most beautiful person I've met in my whole life" and "you're beautiful" is subtle but pretty significant. The former brings an element of narcissism into the statement, ie the person saying it is putting themselves first by making them the "judge" of your beauty, and this puts pressure on you to meet their expectations/standards. However, saying to someone "you're beautiful" is a lovely throwaway, unconditional gesture which makes the other person just feel special, with no obligations at all.
It's also very significant because it suggests a point of comparing you to other people. It'll become easy for you to question if you're good enough. Also: Despite the romanticization of these codependent and virtually parasitic types of relationships, viewing your partner as the most important or amazing person in the world in this controlling and hyper-codependent kind of way is a lot like viewing yourself as the most important or amazing person in the world, as the partner becomes the most obvious extension of yourself. I no longer find it appealing or romantic. I want my partner to have love and appreciation for people even if they are not closely bonded with or exhibiting control over them. I do not want to be in competition with other people.
I was brought up by a psychopathic Mother. This woman sent me to the depths of hell mentally. I am so grateful I got away from her & it took me 50yrs to realise what was going on. You can’t even begin to imagine how bad they truly are. My life is a whole new world now and I am grateful I got away from her. They are abusive soul destroying & will ruin you & your life to a nervous breakdown & attempt suicide. The things she has done to me over the years are unimaginable. I thought surely one day she will just love me. I couldn’t understand any of it. The sooner you get away is when you start to heal & think clearly. I am finally free & happy to be ME! Get away as soon as you can & don’t EVER get sucked backed in
@@vanessas2363 it’s never been easy as you know but the age of 50 I finally broke free of her & wont ever go back. I am in such a better place now thank you. I hope you are too 💓❤️
@@Kimber-bz9fe goodness me. What an horrendous ordeal. Thank you for your message. I'm so glad you're okay. I have severe CPTSD symptoms and all the health issues that go with it that I attempt to 'manage' every single day. I'm so messed up. I'm broken. I used to wrestle daily with 'guilt' about being a bad daughter and what will I do when she's old and dying. I don't anymore. Finally. I actually have visions of dancing on her grave. She systematically abused me and sabotaged my whole life since the day I was born. The most sick minded and unnatural creature. Your post has validated my feelings and I'm so grateful. Thank you. Only people like ourselves would fully understand the horror of what we endured. Sending genuine love to you sister, because we really didn't have any. Look after yourself. It's hard, I know, as its a new concept. I really hope we will both be okay 😘😘😘❤
@@vanessas2363 oh your message is literally mirror image of my life as well. It would seem ours identical in so many ways. Keep on the great fight you will get there I promise you that. You will have some tough bad days where you completely break down but those shall too pass. God Bless to you too & love life. Thank you for sharing your experience as I do very much all you endure ❤️🧡♥️🩷
Psychopaths and NPD personalities prey on those with an empathetic nature. They entice us like a moth to a flame. This video describes my ex-husband to a T. The red flags were many and I ignored my intuition because as an empath, I felt like I could "fix" him. What a naive and almost fatal mistake that was!! Beware and stay away from these types. You're powerless against then unless you have psychopathic tendencies yourself. Otherwise, they'll destroy you!
plus they have a really high sense of entitlement. And test your reactions. When I asked my ex why he did or said some things, he often answered: I just wanted to see how you are going to react.
As a person is diagnosed with psychopathy, and has never been in jail. I would like to take the time to say not all of us are like this, and there should be more studies done.
Disagree big time. Have you ever married a serial killer or narc or someone very sick? If not then you have no idea. These people cause remotional reactions like the doctors said. Didn’t you listen to the end? It’s difficult not to be trigger when they are still in your family and screwing their family members too as his brother in laws little sister. These people are vultures and study you for years.
Run when it SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRue or you will end up like me. This is not that black or white. Even experts like attorneys, law enforcement and therapist! I studied this shit!
Callous disregard, no remorse, aggressive, they don't care about exploiting others, only care about meeting their own needs, both sexes can be psychopathic-- but males are usually called psychopathic more. Excessive flattery-- they ask very personal questions (and it's uncomfortable.) Strive to establish a too rapid connection. Motivated by power...no equality or intimacy. Determined to win, there's no other way. (And they don't know any other way.) Their words do not have emotion with them, (and feel weird and unsettling.) Psychopaths size people up and target the weak and vulnerable intentionally. Psychopaths tend to be promiscuous. They need thrills and "the rush" to defend against boredom. Or for power, money, housing...sex is a performance designed to get the psychopath something that they want. There is no intimacy. It will take you years to heal and trust again after being traumatised. Similar to having been with an alcoholic or drug addict, or a severe narcissist.
Women's aid ( a charity which helps abused women ), tell you not to tell a new Partner about how you have been abused. As they may feel you are used to men behaving badly, and will follow suit. ?
It's true, this happened with my ex. While there was no physical abuse there was definitely extreme emotional disrespect. The same way I'd been treated prior to him AND told him about. Complete sicko, I'll never make that mistake again💔
This is SO accurate!!!!! I was in a 7-8 year relationship with a psychopath. 2 years and a hell of a lot of self work and counselling later, I am 6 months into a non psychopathic relationship with a truly good guy. The advice at the end is exactly how he approaches these times and we have made it through every time I was triggered, we only end up coming out stronger to be honest and it’s a WILD feeling! Like isn’t there supposed to be drama and cruelty around every corner??? No. Turns out there is not!!! There is good, happy, trusting life after a relationship with a psychopath if you educate yourself and put in the work.
@@EmpressEllie Uh, please ignore the comment from Grot Grabinski. Good guys are NOT boring. Apparently Grot does not understand how terrifying it is to be in a roller coaster, unstable, with drama and cruelty. ANYONE who thinks this is what women want or need is, yes, I'll say it, LAME. I have been in horrible relationships and unfortunately I will probably NEVER date again. I say it is unfortunate because when I was younger I was truly trusting and hopeful that there would be someone for me and I definitely had something to offer a good guy, and life would turn out o.k. Joke's on me I guess. I think the damage just went too deep. I would rather just be alone now. Glad for you that you healed though.
yet 2 and half years later , you still talk about him .. instead of , u know ... well u dont know . as i psycho myself , i know this and i am pretty sure of it . whatever we do to you , whoever you are , a friend , a boyfriend , a collegue , a teacher , a student , a doctor , a cop ... whatever we are , you will always , always remember us . yup.
@@EmpressEllie Keep standing up for yourself Eli, it does get better! Don't worry about that last comment. I mean, seriously, why would anyone want to be remembered as a narcissist anyways? Why would anyone be proud to be remembered for hurting another human being, physically or emotionally. That is nothing to brag about. Keep healing Eli.
I remember this strange altercation I had at a flat I was living at. My girlfriend at the time was drinking with the girlfriends of two of my buddies but one of the girlfriends I had never met before. Anyway, I was just in my room chilling when this girl came in and introduced herself and was just over-the-top friendly, like in a really fake way. Then she started to say how good-looking I was and that I should dump my girlfriend because I'm way too good for her. I remember thinking I've only just met you and you have the nerve to say that to me. It was a very weird interaction. A few weeks go by and I'm training at the gym with a friend and he gets a phone call from the police that the very same girl that I had the weird interaction with broke into his house and assaulted his wife in front of his kids. looking back at it now she must have been a psychopath.
"...it is excessive flattery, they can't make you feel any better!" When I asked the person why are they always watching me, they would say; "You're so beautiful to me... the way you're put together..." Then they would toss out jabs, digs, and insults "wrapped" in compliments!
What’s crazy is we are educated about sociopaths / psychopaths and narcissistic people- yet when we are suspicious of new people we meet and their motives for interaction we are then labeled paranoid or suffer from paranoid personality disorder..... odd
I use a telepathic ability called mirroring. It terrifies psychopaths because, within 3 minutes of coming into my sphere, they start seeing themselves. Our CEO gets incredibly nervous around me. I get a kick out of doing it to him.
My 1st love in college was a psychopath & I had no idea🤦🏾♀️. He fits the description. I always sensed that he was “off” . He would say things like I am only spending time with you because that’s the right thing to do. I told him this guy hit on me, and his response was “ Why didn’t you allow him to take you out, you could have gotten free food” & he wasn’t joking. He was super promiscuous, so I ended the relationship & asked him how he could treat someone so badly, but he said that “he doesn’t regret anything, he has no conscious”, ... That was years ago. I’ve healed now, but this is spot on.
Yes! What finally woke me up was my psychopath telling me more and more that he was only with me because no one else would want me due to (fill in the blank - face, body, personality). It was so over the top that I dumped him.
This is soo true! I have dated a narcisstic person for many years. It felt like dying from inside slowly each day by day and yet you still are not able to get rid of that relationship because you are a good positive person inside out. But later you relaized like the end of the movie last scene everything starts to make sense. The villian comes at front of your face and try to fight with you or try to kill you because you got to know his real hidden face/truth. Once you leave that is the most powerful victory you can ever achieved in life till your death❤❤❤👍🏻👍🏻🎯🎯🎯
This nails it pretty well. 2 years PTSD for me after 2 years with her. Healing takes time. Learn to notice the negative thoughts and let them float by rather than dwell on them.
This doctor explained this situation so well AND the interviewer was so professional and non intrusive. This helped tremendously! Thank you gentlemen for this interview.
Another sign is a lack of healthy skepticism, a kin to fear, when dealing with you. A normal person should be trying to size you up to determine if you are the psychopath. Cause if they're not, they are either drunk, hopelessly naive or, you guessed it, a psychopath. And they already know who's the most ruthless between the two of you.
Watch the rest of this exclusive video series on psychopathy, personality disorders & relationships instantly HERE: bit.ly/3dgx28P
I got a lot of helpful information from this guy if you offended by what has been said then you just got busted im not offended in any way what so ever people who comment and are offended Pushed the psycos buttons
How do I know the difference between a psychopath and a narcissist it seems very similar?
More from Dr Seth Meyers please! I wish he was my therapist.
MedCircle great to hear for you and me because I’m so exhausted from the pangs in my stomach all day from remembering the betrayal the manipulation and the abuse..happy for ya friend!
none of the nones troll
Bottom line: If something feels weird, it is weird. TRUST YOUR INTUITION!!! It's the only thing they cannot control. Gut instict. Survival instict.
It will always feel weird like something is off when dealing with one
Dont judge a book by its cover, not everything is as it seems because your paranoid
The gut is the second brain. Some say the first.
well said
That's called prejudice
I dated a psychopath. He was so good to me and I thought I had met the best person in the world. Every single day with him was good. He was my gentle place to land, he was incredibly sweet, and my friends and family adored him. We were together for 3 years. One day out of the blue, he looked at me with cold dead eyes. It still gives me chills to think about the unmistakable look of a psychopath when they show you who they really are. He said "This is the real me." He left me with zero empathy. No explanation. No emotion at all. I've never seen a person look like that. The pain was intense and I feel forever changed. I'm afraid to be happy. I'm afraid any happiness I feel now will end up being fake. Psychopaths are charming and they are manipulative predators that make you doubt your own ability to discern what's real and what's not. Thank you for this video. I wish I had seen it sooner.
Jesus Christ. Idk if I’m over thinking it but i fear I am in your position. Sweet man who spoils me, but who knows I am/was in a vulnerable position and has said things initially that set off an alarm in my head... I know what my gut feels but I keep denying it in hope of something better or that I’m maybe wrong... but I know never to doubt myself and that I am always right...
💯👏👏👏
@@iLoveTheBamx what are some red 🚩 for you?
PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CJS DOES NOT PROSECUTE THESE EVIL BEASTS SO THEY ALLOWED TO ROAM FREE AND DESTROY OTHERS. THERE NEEDS TO BE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT WITHIN RELATIONSHIPS TAUGHT AND IF BROKEN, SANCTION, SUE, CALL THE POLICE. I BET THAT THERE WILL BE A LOT OF PEOPLE STRAIGHTENING UP THEIR ACTS WHEN THEY KNOW THAT THEY CAN BE SANCTIONED OR THROWN IN JAIL!!
Why you been sure he was..msybe he just lost intetest..3 years its deadline passion
You don’t try to fix other people, you need to protect yourself. Don’t allow yourself to get emotionally involved too early. Don’t sleep with them if you don’t know them. When you see a problem, be honest with yourself. What is their background? Do a background check. Talk to their friends-if they have any. Be careful-they are out there looking for kind people who have empathy and will try to fix them. Lonely-get a dog. If they ask for money-run. If they want to move in with you too soon, don’t let them.
Great advice!
Omg 100% true
You sound like a psychopath ;)
Best advice
In my experience, they try to shut you down as a human little by little. Telling you that you talk too much, feel too much, care too much, emote too much, work too much, clean too much, talk to your friends too much, eat too much, drink too much, exercise too much, etc. Eventually, you just shut down everything in order not to annoy them. Then you end up a miserable captive.
Good description, but that also sounds like what a covert narcissist does as well. I wonder what the difference is between a narcissist and a psychopath? Can anyone help?
If you take them seriously you'll lose, just laugh it off and do what "seems" to border them twice into their face.
Nah that's narcissism
They constantly criticize and put you down
And then when you do it to make them happy they turn and sat you do too much of that. I went from too muscular to too fat to too skinny
I dated a psychopath for just 3 months. I caught him in one lie after another and broke up with him. He spread lies about me all over town, and almost strangled me to death. The one sign I will look for now is when someone is overwhelming with compliments and coming on too strong.
i feel so bad reading this... i’m glad you’re alive
You're right! too many compliments and too much flattering! Too much passionate (the excuse? I am like that!). We must always follow our instinct. I didn't, but luckily I was too strong for him and he disappeared.
Glad to hear you are okay.
I get automaticity weirded out if someone comes on too strong. We should trust our instincts in these situations.
I had to learn that the hard way too. Now men call me stuck up when I say I hate getting hit on in public. Its so uncomfortable
"They're saying the words but you're not feeling an emotion match up with it" - absolutely fascinating!!
This is key!
Learned the hard way...
But learning is important 🥰
@@sylviadomerese352 it's about learning to trust our gut too isn't it? Not easy but important indeed ☺️
My stephfather was a sociopat it learned me to spot them a mile away.
@@Herr.P must have been a horrible experience but hope it's left you with some strengths now
They DO learn how to mimic emotions which makes it even more difficult to tell if they're a psychopath or not.
Im no longer in romantic relationships. If its not psychopaths, narcissists or just flat out manipulative and dishonest people, its toxic beliefs and mindsets they're not willing to deal with and address. Staying single and celibate is the only option for me. Im good 👍
Word 💯 ❤ 🤜🏻 🤛🏻
Here's my experience of dating a psychopath for the past 4 years(broken up recently)
1.extremely charming in the beginning and thorough out the relationship(whenever he wanted something from me)..knows how to say the right thing at the right time but eventually it started sounding fake
2.cheating and lying..has had affair with 4 ladies which I have never known..every word that came out from his mouth was a lie.
3.sex is just sex..never love making.no emotional attachment..emotionally absent throughout the relationship in general
4. physical and verbal abuse and blackmails whenever I tried to leave or tried to be more independent.
5.no remorse when got caught cheating..said it's ok.not a big deal.doesnt feel empathy for anyone.no sense of guilt
6. Extremely greedy for money n fame
I think psychopaths are extremely dangerous to be in a relationship. .dont ignore the signs and dont hesitate to leave if you suspect your partner to be a psychopath.
Well said!
All the traits I've studied in those kind.
And collect evidence of abuse, threats just in case you may need to get help from the law. I had to.
@Paradigm Climb Not quite but have demons inhabiting them. The worse thing is having children with such person since you have to deal with him/ her until child is grown up.
@@soniag4516 OMG 😳! ... I have no words ! It’s tough
Becuase we were taught not to judge people and to give everyone a chance. Trust your gut ladies.
And gentleman.
Nope, not me. Nobody gets a second chance after red flags 🚩 start popping out. Been through enough and experience will change the “2nd chance B.S.”. However, some people never learn.........and continue to get HURT
I think you are right! How many time have there been stories that people always wanted to stay “polite” by staying in a relationship, date or even stay in a friendship!
@@gal2727 🎯🎯🎯
@Eris Did you change your number? When you think someone's off the best way to stop talking to them is to just stop talking to them. Block them and change your number if you have to. Don't tell them you don't want to talk anymore lol.
I had a relationship with a narcissist. I can’t tell you how damaging relationships with these people are. It’s beyond what I thought possible. It’s been 3 years since I went no contact with him and I’m still healing and will be for a long time.
Me too. He is extremly manipulative.
How can you spend so much time with that type of person . Wouldn’t you know in the beginning that they are narcissistic ?
@@sunnydaze2359 I would highly suggest that you educate yourself on narcissism. I’m not saying that with any malice but if you knew you wouldn’t be asking this question. I knew of the word before meeting this person but I knew very little about it. Anyone who hasn’t had personal experience with one just has no idea and will never understand completely what kind of damage occurs.
Same here. It will be 3 years for me in May & I am still shocked that I am picking up the pieces of my life and still just trying to find who I am again to this very day. I still have at least one thought of my ex every day (not missing them at all...just like ruminating thoughts about the way something went or whatever...mostly just wondering how my puppy is doing since they stole my dog from me & with the financial situation they left me in at the time, there really wasn't anything I could do about it despite my best efforts to fight back). Genuinely wishing you healing and peace on your journey...And most importantly, I wish you self-love and that you would know your inherent worth simply bc you exist and are uniquely YOU. I know that's been the hardest for me...trying to figure out who the heck I even am anymore and learning to love myself-or at the very minimum, at least learn how to stop blaming & berating myself. It's an excruciating, insidious battle that only those of us who have walked it can even fathom and I'm wishing the best things for you as you go along in your journey. Someone once told me this and it's the one thing I try to hold onto when I'm full of self-doubt, pain, or bitterness...
"You may not get to actually see or hear about them suffering the consequences that their actions create in their own life-and on the surface, it may LOOK like there aren't any, but rest assured, the biggest punishment for them is simply that they are who they are." It's pure torture inside for them to be the shitty, disgusting, empty, devoid of empathy "human" that they are...even if they put up a facade & are good at hiding it.
Take care x
As I'm too old now, I decided the safest way for me forward after my narcissistic psychopath died a year ago, is to stay single. I just don't want to go through this pain ever in my life again. I always thought that I don't want to grow old alone, but after this, being alone is just wonderful.
After such experience, you catch toxic patterns and red flags very early in new people you meet. It's like why does he sound like my ex husband during idealization period. Well, he does because he's a psychopath lovebombing and grooming you. You're free to detach and walk away after a little conversation with them. But it's better to be safe and secure at old age.
Currently in a relationship with someone that is somewhere on the dark triad and finding my time alone while he is at work so peaceful. I tried to get a separation, but no dice. Playing it cool for now to decide what's next.
Me too
I dated a psychopath he was extremely narcissistic, I took a long time to heal , but now I’m much stronger .
I successfully revenged. Feels faaaaaantastic! :)
I've dated several and even married one!!! :-O
@@rupalitupe7783 My advice is stay single for a long time. As mentioned in the vid, they prey on your weaknesses. I discovered areas of trauma I wasn't even aware of. I've been alone for 5 & 1/2 yrs (since I had my son) & am feeling pretty bullet proof. For me it has taken that long b/c the trauma as a teen was so bad and complicated. But you need to feel like you don't need another person to feel complete. That way, if someone treats you shit (as they do when they have an off moment, ie. the mask slips) you can say, ''Bye!!'' and never go back but instead go forward and find someone else who treats you like you're truly special all the time. Also, take time to get to know someone, mimic old school dating. Best of luck and blessings for the future xxoo
I didn't know there could be a combination of narc and psy. Could you elaborate? I know the smirk when the narc has when hurting what's the difference in the combination?
Sam Vaknin describes somatic narcissist who get their attention from sex. Very much like this.. He wrote a great book Malignant Self Love
YES.
Be VERY wary of the constant, immediate personal questions. They aren't trying to bond with you, they are gathering intel.
THIS.
You can tell if the questions make you feel invaded or not
Harsh
Angela Wegner
I mistook his eager interest for being smitten with me but I misread the signals, he was just playing it up. Gals be wary of their motives, especially when they catch you off guard or by surprise. If it doesn’t feel right then it’s not. Trust your gut
@@phoenixrising8007 So basically a guy who's gaming women to get pussy -> normal guy.
Guy who's gaming women to get their money -> psychopath.
Woman who games guys to get their money -> normal woman... does this compute???
This should be taught in ALL schools! These people ruin lives. I was married to a narcissist for 30 yrs and felling to a relationship with a psychopath. I finally learned at age 52.
TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard to put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what. That is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband's phone and I got access to all his phone Call logs, Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email, i-cloud and social media chats without touching his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover kissing, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Florida, USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking, background check up and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this great hacker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text him directly on his phone and via Whats-app : +1 (202) 697-7171. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.
My friend's wife planted child porn on his computer and called the FBI because she was done using him. He did 5 years in federal prison. She was so good as faking being human. She was one of my best friends and screwed me over too after I gave her a free place to live. We started tracing all her friendships and found out who she really was. It's unbelievable.
@@bobbiwilliam6811 LMAO the beginning of this drew me in until I realised it's spam.. 💀💀💀
30 years??
@@bobbiwilliam6811 Did you have to pay?
I was raised by a psycho narcissist. I attracted people like this my whole life. I didn’t snap out of in until I was about 34. The self hatred is real. I’m 38 now and I’m still angry with myself for not seeing the red flags. I neglected my gut and intuition. That realization creates a different kind of trauma. It makes you question everything about yourself. I trust no one now, I can’t even hug a new person. Healing from this kind of abuse will take more years than what I have left to live.
Omg
So sorry for you. Maybe having more empaths in your social circle will help you heal sooner ?
No no. Don't be angry at yourself. I had same- and snapped out of it at 49! You're still young. I was so glad to have the information, can see it coming from a mile away now. I only let lovely people in, have shut a lot of doors and have good friends- good people. The information you have, the experience, it's gold. you know more about human nature. A lot of people stay in destructive relationships all their lives. You have been given a gift. Now, red flags- run fast. That's friends and partners.
What angers me is all the system that keep child hostages of their narcisistics parents. I was raised by one and like...my closest relative outside the nuclear family literaly was a psicologist who worked on the government lawn system to decide wich families were good to the kid. And she mised it. I had literaky a social worker, psycologist on my closest surroundings and nobody see how bad it is. But maybe thats a brazillian reality.
@@acabral2651 That's a global reality. Read my post above- you can turn it around for yourself. No point being angry, it's like yelling at the wind. people are messed up, some people should not parent. Please, don't poison yourself over their decisions. Make a wonderful life. Start with yourself. Go swimming, dancing, walking in nature. These things are real life> Only get a pet if you have time and money. (they are expensive and need you, like kids)- but help with others animals. Once you feel good, good will happen. Bitterness and anger- only hurts you.
Take your sweet time getting to know people. Reserve your dark stories for yourself and people you trust who show you empathy. Every time you hang out with someone new, write a journal entry about it. WAIT until you see them again. Think about how you felt while you were together. Healthy boundaries brings healthy relations. Anyone who pushes your boundaries doesnt have your best interests at heart. Anyone who rushes into sex, or asking deep personal questions is not thinking about your safety.
I mostly agree with you but want to add that as an empath, I always ask people lots of questions... Some deep and personal because I want deeper connections and I care about people. So not ALL who ask questions are psychopaths.
Christian One i think it’ll depend how soon you ask because I’m the same way.
I agree that we may want to ask people deeply personal questions but as empaths we also need to have healthy boundaries. Intimacy and trust is built, not interrogated. And others with healthy boundaries might not want to answer those questions right away. And that doesnt mean anything negative necessarily.
@@marleyofficialmedia I agree.
@@christianone6611 I still see what you are saying, though. It makes sense!
I think one reason why the initial flattery is soo over-the-top is also because psychopaths just know that only people who can be potential victims will fall for it. It's a kind of selection process before starting their real work.
Wwooooowww!!Thank you so much for this comment.
That would make sense.
Very true. Flattery and put down don’t work for me, instead, they put me on guard. I have never dated a narcissist or psychopath. I certainly come across a few at work and social and keep them at arm’s length.
Agreed
Flattery can be genuine. What a pity we prefer to keep quiet about what we find attractive in other people. Over the top flattery feels false. There is a big difference.
I was married to a psychopath. Controlling, isolating, he lacked empathy, lacked remorse, he was very hostile and had self serving behaviors through and through. I was too young to realize what I was getting into. He was handsome and charming, and like you said excessively flattering, especially to me & my family initially. I was so lucky to get away. Listen to those inner voices that warn us. Trust yourself. Trust that there are great people out there. Don’t blame yourself. Even see a counselor if need be. They can help you trust your instincts.
Catherine Somerville,You deserves better
You continued to date that too while all the real men you felt they were off and something wrong with them but the psychopath you felt safe lol
@@therealwewin that’s so stupid to say because Psychopaths present themselves as perfect and “nice” to get what they want. It’s only years later that people start to realise they’ve been bamboozled.
If he lashed out doesn’t that mean he’s a sociopath then?
That’s a narcissist, not a psychopath! Narcissists use emotions and evokes feelings to get what they want. Psychopaths actually just want to be left alone. Please get it right.
I had to go to intense therapy because of how bad I got messed up. Every once in a while a simple thing can make me tick and feel extremely anxious. Even after all the therapy I went through it’s something that I’m not sure will ever heal. Feeling completely used and dumped by someone you completely loved is the worst feeling.
Just getting away from him.. trying to. He won't stop. But yes, same. Heartbroken by the tinman... but yes.. I feel like I don't know who or what's real anymore. He wanted to make me think I was crazy.. and to be honest, he almost got me there 100%. I was the perfect target.. I'm an empath. Opposite of what he was and the easiest person to take advantage of.. or so he thought.
Hope you and your heart heal fully in time. Not all ppl are monsters.
In fact I used to believe that most ppl are more light than dark. I would like to believe that's true again 💔
Take your time in relationships, don’t trust easily, don’t let your emotions dictate your logic and analytical reasoning. Be aware of people who compliment a lot and want to move fast and meet in private places. Trust your guts.
God bless.
Wish I knew these things 3 years ago.. 2 months of dating some love bomber who turned out to be someone else has changed me
The problem with this is that you assume that a psychopath’s behavior is predictable. A psychopath is a social chameleon who knows how to blend in with the crowd when they want to. They can make themselves appear natural when they want to. They can hide their intentions very effectively. They can master their self control with practice. So.....GOOD LUCK SPOTTING ONE!
Also, it is important to note that, not all social chameleons are psychopaths..
However, once in a while, their mask will slip or you will feel their vibe and realize their intent.
This is so true. Some psychopaths are smart enough to realize that showering attention and praise right away won't be a positive for them
Oh, you've met my was-band, Sounds just like him!
I think too, they wait in general to be hit on. They let you come to them if they're the really smart ones. The are always playing their act and patiently wait for someone to be watching and be charmed by them. They're very good at making everything look like your idea.
I briefly dated someone who clearly had psychopathic traits. He truly scared me at times and instead of apologizing, he was offended when I told him so. He also wanted to move our relationship *waaaay* too fast.
Omg this happened to me too! Quickly turns the tables. It’s such a horrible experience once you’re in it
Whooooaaa! Red flag right there. Good job trusting those instincts!
sameeee😢
This sounds familiar to me also- the turning the tables on you. It feels so invasive, and twisted. The sense of they're violating my emotions, my perception of things, my boundaries. This person really liked to do this, make himself the victim, when he was the offender. He was so manipulative, he got me to feel sorry for him. To the point of apologising to him, when he was lying, and hiding things from me and more. He made me feel tied up in knots, couldn't even respond in the moment, as my sense of reality was being messed with, I needed time to disentangle myself, separate my feelings from his, and respond appropriately. He showed up in my life, and asked me out, in the end, he acted and said I was "disturbing" him with my reactions. Well excuse me for having a normal human reaction to my being disrespected and mistreated.i
Sameeeee
When he says to make sure your next partner knows what you went through (with a psychopath or narcissist) that's something to do with caution. Many narcissists and psychopaths seek out people who have already been abused because they know that they're pre-qualified to be open to manipulation. They will act very concerned and caring and then use everything you told them to manipulate you again. That happened to me, twice, until I fully healed using a trauma recovery programme designed to heal narcissistic abuse completely (Melanie Tonia Evan's NARP programme) You need to wait until you're sure that you're with a decent and normal person before you recite your relationship history in such detail. Then it can be used as a place to build trust from not as a stepping stone into further abuse.
Lord, ain't THIS the truth!!! Thank you for your post, God bless.
Thank you for posting this. It's a very important point. If I ever date again (and to be honest I may never have an intimate relationship again because of the trauma from the "relationship" with the Narcissistic Psychopath), I will be wary of sharing my past with them for the reasons you describe. Another reason is that I don't want to feel stuck in victim mode, either with myself or in the eyes of my partner. I prefer to see myself as an unfortunate target who is doing their best to heal and has learned a lot from a horrific experience.
Yea this just happened to me. We bonded over having been abused by others then he just did the same stuff. Ive just ended things.
1st partner was a narcissist, 2nd was a clinical psychopath (formally diagnosed after things ended) who said and did all the right things when I was in a vulnerable state due to the abuse of the 1st one. As a result I'm not sure I'd want to tell anyone in the initial phases of a relationship what I've been through again as I'm positive this is exactly what the psychopath found 'attractive " about me in the 1st place. Then again I don't really let people get close to me any more after all of that, let alone start new relationships so it's kind of a moot point for me at least
“They know the words but not the music” is a famous saying from Without Conscience by Robert Hare.
That's a perfect description.
Never heard this but it’s awesome.
Psycho path red flags, they are sarcastic, sweet, condescending, cannot admit to their wrongs. They are control freaks, emotional abusive (neglectful willfull).but are very kind and extremely delusional. They are not in touch with reality. They love to play psychological games. Women, please guard your hearts. You men also.
Star Bright,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,hope you are not with a narc 😈!
@@christianpulisic7784 Haha stop it. I hope you’re not one 😋. I think she might have come across one or something.
Get out of my head!!!
@@richardcranium5862 lol
Glad you said you men also 👍
The excessive flattery is called "love bombing." They mirror your likes and act as though they like the same things. I dated one of these vile creatures once. Something seemed off at the beginning, but I didn't understand till 3 months down the line. That's when I started learning about psychopaths.
Well there’s also a difference between that and people who feign interest to send the message, “I like you a lot, I am interested in you.”
Like tons of times I have a conversation with girls in my classes over the years where you’d express interest in something completely obscure to everyone in the room, then later these people would inquire about it and say hey that’s pretty interesting and blah blah blah so they can just get a chance to talk to you.
Is it psychopathic to employ this method of social strategy? No. It’s simply just giving leeway for these people to enter into your own headspace so you can be introduced to them.
However, yes. You’re right. If they do this in the long run and then suddenly drop interest in the topic, showing they never cared in the first place. Yes, that’s completely fucked.
If you have had any experience with a sociopath, you can tell the difference between flattery and pretending to have a common interest to love bombing. Love bombing is really over the top. Also, they must tick several other boxes to be sociopathic. For instance, there is usually a pattern of pathological lying, even when it's more convenient to tell the truth. They are often extremely charming, and they play victim to get you to feel sorry for them. Their pity stories are completely made up. I only know these things because I embarked on a course of study of sociopaths after I inadvertently dated one in 2008. Sadly, they are so convincing and sincere sounding that it takes getting played by one before you can recognize them.
Yes! They pretend to like the same things as you, and once they know you're not gonna leave them, they start to show their true face and likes. At least the one I dated was pretty basic, I didn't "fell in love" with him, the person I met in the beginning was just a character. I understand that I ended up with him because of my low self-steem, but my experience with that type of person taught me that at least I have my own personality and I'm beautiful. I think I had to hit rock bottom with that piece of shit to realise how valuable I am. Now that I blocked him, I feel really good and my life has changed for good :)
damn ur so smart , took me 10 years with a psycopath friend to finally get him away from me.
vile creature lolll
One thing I've notice about narcissists and psychopaths is they dont like kissing, long hugs or any type of close physical intimacy.
My ex narc never kissed me or his mom, or anyone.
They'll do it when put on the spot or feel its expected to keep up appearances, but never willingly.
YES
Sometimes that is stemming from abuse, from people violating them in the past. Not everyone is a hugger.
@@sonofhibbs4425 we're talking about narcissists... not normal people.
Narcissists... abused or not... all have a checklist of commonalities and they all act a certain way.
I was abused and am not much of a hugger.
As for my ex narc, he was never abused... quite the opposite in fact.
He was very spoiled by his mother and she would defend and excuse all his bad behavior.
Not true for all. I've encountered narc huggers. It's another form of attention. They love attention
@@sewmuchdufus Im talking about hugs out of care... not with the attention strings tied to them.
I survived a psychopath and it took years to recover and realize what a normal relationship should look. Anytime I watch a video like this I get chills because it’s scary knowing I was with someone who inherently lacks empathy.
Same girl.. yay for getting healing and freedom!!
Same same, had traits that were toxic but now healing is the game!
Same. I was beaten.
@@xiaomenghu88311 that's horrible! Are you okay? I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you.
I am 56 and I still do not know what a Normal relationship is because I was raised by a Psychopath then Married to one and have just remained single out of fear of doing that again.
They will isolate you from your friends! Also, lies, lies, lies, and more lies, all types of lies.
Been there too, sadly more than once.There is nothing worse than feeling alone, while in a relationship. I have been single a few years now, I am very happy and will stay this way. Being a couple is not for me anymore.
@Winter Sun Two of a kind, but enjoying your own company, leaves you content 😚
@@ShoJ369 too many lies
You're right. I'm married to someone like this right now. He'd lie and try to convince you the sky is red when we all know it's blue. My husband is always telling B.S. stories like "The mailman left me a note praising me for cleaning the snow away from the mailbox." When asked to see the "note" he got angry. Of course, he did.
I need to get out of this relationship and as soon as things with COVID change, I will.
@@holiday-td6hx I'll pray for you. It's lies on top of lies. Even stupid ones. Please be safe
Trying to protect myself out in these streets lol. I have a narcissistic mother so figured I'd arm myself with knowledge of all these dangerous personality disorders. Stay safe folks, they walk among us
They are like vampires living amongst us
They're everywhere.
That's a really negative way of looking at it. There are people with personality disorders who abuse other people and there are people with personality disorders who don't abuse other people. People with schizoid personality disorder dont even like forming close bonds or relationships. They often prefer working alone and are content spending lots of time by themself. I'm throwing this out there because you may end up offending somebody by generalizing your past experiences around the idea that people with personality disorders are abusive
@@jiltedlittle6868 That's true, thanks for adding that. I didn't mean to generalize, it was a video on dating a psychopath so I thought it was implied I was talking about those that abuse their partners/family members. There are definitely people with personality disorders who don't abuse others for sure!
Yep, both my parents are narcissists (thankfully not malignant narcissists) and I'm a freakin' magnet. You stay safe, as well, Lydia E!
First guy I dated after relationship ended with suspected psychopath, I got very upset about something and was like sobbing in front of this new guy and then I braced myself for the reaction I usually got when I was emotional, which was criticism, invalidation of feelings, blame, or just confusion, and instead got sympathy and I was shocked. I had been with decent people before, obviously, but I basically forgot that most people feel bad when someone is sobbing in front of them.
Amen, I understand completely! God bless you, stay safe.
I understand what you describe too 😢
Most people want to comfort someone who is crying. Unless they are crying crocodile tears to avoid being held accountable for doing something wrong. There's a difference.
20 years married to a narcissistic psychopath. Been divorced from him 28 years now. Still healing. No romantic relationship since. Can’t bring myself to risk hooking up with another. The fear is still there. I have been through counseling, EMDR treatment, hypnosis, but the fear of another relationship scares the hell out of me….still. He did a lot of damage.
No comment
Sending healing energy to you. Your message was the one that moved me to do what I need to do to be no contact from the psycho in my life
Same 10 years and been single coming up to 4 years now. Met a great guy but continued to sabotage the relationship because I couldn’t bare the thought of hurting the e same way so anytime we had a little disagreement which was nothing compared to the Narc I would run. I can’t have a relationship again I’m too damn scared of relationships
Speaking healing into your life. I can relate.
@@RebuildingWithClarity .....sad isn't it. We are the recipients of horrible narcissist abuse. They say a narcissist is either born that way with a defective brain, or they suffered unbelievable abuse mentally/physically, or , and this one (I believe) is what happened to my once husband, a over the top doting mother. She spoiled him to the point he believed he was a GOD! I'm NOT EXAGGERATING. SHE WAS F'ING NUTS! At the end of her life, she was in a nursing home. He wouldn't even go see her. He would be "inconvenienced" if he had to take time out of his life to do that. Typical Narcissistic Sociopath.
He comes straight to the point...psychopaths are really good in disguising themselves. Always follow your gut feeling. All psychopaths are narcasissts aswell, I guess.
Yuh...
You are so right narcs are psychopaths.
@@virginiawilson6750 nope... psychopaths can be a narcissistic but narcissists can't be a psychopath
All psychopaths are narcissistic... But not all narcissists are psychopaths.
A psychopath is a narcissist on steroids
To the next person, my advice: move SLOWLY.
Run
Absolutely !
a psychopath will move slowly as well if they really want something of yours.
I AGREE!! Here in Brazil.
You're right. They try to sweep you off your feet. Taking it slow is a good way to interrupt their charade. At least, it allows us to examine the situation and set boundries.
I befriended a man with common friends online lately. He started showering me with many compliments and told me he was in love with me the first week. It felt uneasy and my gut told me no. He kept going even though I told him I don't know him so well to feel the same way. He got offended and told me that he already has offers turned down for me. I distanced myself for a few days, then he was ok, then love attack again, as if he couldn't understand. He even had plans of marriage and living together and stuff. He blamed me indirectly for not giving in. Educated and decent man in his community. But my instinct says no, even though I am at a vulnerable situation. After telling him that this situation really stresses me, he told me "good luck then". He was pissed off and disappeared. I could write a book about narcissists - this was the latest example. But I know better now.. Please do yourselves a favor and leave. I am mostly alone but at least I don't suffer abuse and mind-control.
You are doing fine. There’s nothing better than a little dog and mine just had a little puppy! And it’s a girl! I’m keeping!!!!
@adamhuffman3354 I adore cats, so yes, I will probably end up a cat lady. So happy you have a puppy, dogs are adorable, too. Pets better than most people!!
Well it is possible to fall in love with someone at first site.😅
It’s hard if an empath falls in love with one bc you feel bad for them and feel everyone deserves to be loved. But ultimately yes you need to protect yourself. It’s hard to understand they don’t feel your love the way you would feel love.
Like my mom
@The Rising Phoenix yes
My life. Im the empath😫
That's not an empath my dear. That is a VERY low self esteem empath
@The Rising Phoenix Good point. Rabid dogs were put to death.
"Psychopathes ask very personal questions". Very true. The first week I started to date my ex narcissic, he asked me "how you and your ex used to make love" I was shocked. That was the first sign I ignored!
Lol that just sounds like a creep
@Andromeda Skywalker lol you must sleep around a lot and probably can't pair bond. If you think your sexual history doesn't matter you're delusional.
Eww! Whatever happened to asking "what's your favorite color?"
@Andromeda Skywalker @Andromeda Skywalker actually people who sleep around a lot, especially women, have trouble pair bonding in a long term relationship. Sorry you're a slit. Your probably going to end up a lonely cat lady.
@@southernindigo1973 so her instincts are telling her its okay to sleep around? Gross.
"It is not necessary for aggression or violence to be present in order to commit evil, simply lacking empathy and understanding is enough." That right there is key to understanding a psychopath, is understanding that they operate from an empty space...thays why they devour others emotions...because they don't really have any
I had many gut feelings that I ignored because of "love". These people don't even understand what love is, always trust your gut and listen to your instincts. Never ever doubt yourself, even if it's something really minor.
I really like this guy. He's intuitive. I'd like him as a therapist! One of the main things he said: "They [psychopaths] don't know any other way." Chilling.
It’s true isn’t it. They are innocent (psychopaths), as they do only what they know -
@Morgan What’s chilling is they don’t know any better. They will never change and become a better person because of it. They don’t want to change and think nothing is wrong with them, it’s everyone else. My xwife is a sociopath. Also diagnosed with split personality disorder with bipolar disorder sprinkled on top. Divorced for 2 years now can’t tell you how “light” I feel being single.
@@chadjohnson438 sums up modern relationships Chad.
@@chadjohnson438 that's not chilling at all; it's heartbreaking. This is someone's baby that became divergent in a way that the rest of us can't understand well-enough to find a way to communicate with them.
@@chadjohnson438 you're also using incorrect terminologies. The Dr. literally corrects the term Socipathy. There is also no such thing as a split personality disorder...
Tell yourself
“It could have happened to anyone. That you will learn from your mistakes. That you will be in better touch with your feelings going forward and that you will make sure that your next partner understands exactly what you went through.”
Excellent advice
Three things: 1 - I thought I was going to be bored by this interview (because I know all about psychopaths unfortunately) - but I was not. 2 - This doctor is speaking truth - what spot-on answers - no fluff. 3 - the interviewers questions were also spot-on - very specific, and most we normal people would want answers to. Worth the watch!
Thank you for providing clinical evidence supporting my gut. I recently witnessed all of the behavior discussed during a traumatic encounter with a male. It ended there.
This guy is rite. My ex was a true diagnoses psychopath. The court appointed a shrink we both had to go see during our court case. She asked me to come see her alone. After she had spoken to my ex. So i did. She told me that in all her 25 years of counseling people she was going to tell me something she had Never had to say to anyone before. And that was to move away! Get out! Get as far as i could get! Her advice to me was to move in the middle of the night. Just to make sure i got away safely. She told me she would talk to the judge, and assured me everything would be ok. That i wouldn't have to go to the last court case my lawyer and her would advocate on my behalf. So i moved to another city with my two children and i have Never looked back. She also told me the things my ex had said to her in his meeting's with her. She told me to NEVER go anywhere alone. And to not tell anyone were i was going. Not relatives! Not friends! No one! And to always! always! Look and pay attention to my surrounding! Change my phone number, And to get it unlisted! She even told me to get my utilities in someone else's name for my safety. The day he realized i had left the home i was living in he went syco! And had to be hospitalized for loosing his mind. Iv found out through friends in the police force that he has been hospitalized several times since i left. I was granted a divorce. And he married again. He beat her up to just like he did to me and my kids. He cheated on her too several times. He has been in other relationship's. However i still have family through my now marriage that live in the town next to him, and he is still trying to find out were i and my kids live. They are grown up now with kids of their own. And the last thing they want is to see that sycophantic anywhere near them. Both my kids have said if he comes around they will get a restraining order. I do want to say its funny how these PEOPLE Claim to love you. Or They say they only want to see the kids. Even now. But very quickly who ever they are speaking to quickly realize's its NOT the KIDS they want to see. Its YOU THEIR TRYING TO GET TO!! When a sycophantic'so second, or third word out of their mouth's are, do you know were my ex wife lives? Is she still married to that other guy? Whats his name again? Is she dating anyone? Does she work? Were does she work? Or he is still trying to gain sympathy from those he's talking to by saying you left him for someone else. Or constantly runs around blaming your now husband for you not returning to him. Even though your new husband wasn't the reason you broke up in the first place. Ya he's only interests in you! He's still trying to get to you! Not your kids.
Driving someone to suicide = Murder, in my book.
Del berate acts of cruelty towards another human being for the intended purpose of the destruction of their mind, body or soul is premeditated murder.
@Sebastian Smith that's what almost happened to me. Omg I thought I was alone. I should be dead
Instead of blaming, learn and teach how to be wiser and more resilient.
@@kimbyrd2298 💯👍
@@danyelfincel8525 😢
This "Circus Sex" is TRUE!
He only wanted me so he could get into my home from his apartment with his son, get ahead on his finances, and make me the house cleaner, sex hole, and agreeable.
He tried so hard to squash my fire.
Or he could be your general garden variety user.
That’s exactly what my ex-husband‘s doing and God knows what he’s carrying to that poor woman she’s already been married once and had kids from two different relationships and it’s actually his brother-in-law‘s little sister so she was easy prey because if you know anything about these characters they study their prey they know exactly who you are what you want to your friends are and they’re going to get into your phones they’re going to know all your conversations so they can manipulate you further mine had hacked my computers he was in my computers he put recorders in my car he also put a deer camera in our house to catch the security code because I knew things were being moved in torn up I was with mine since my teens all the way in my 40s and I am severely traumatized so is my youngest my oldest knows exactly who he is and I told her she’s playing with fire
@@cindithomas7440 Nobody’s diagnosing anything he specifically said not just Psycho Pass but Narcisista narcissism is not a diagnosis and when I’m talking I’m talking about narcissism I have no idea what the Hells wrong with my ex nor do I want to diagnose him or figure it out because whatever the fuck it is it can’t be cured
its his LOSS- stay no contact
I dated two "hobosexuals" lessoned learned..they keep using and using ppl
Psychopaths won't take no for an answer, even on a first meeting in a social setting. When they come after you it's so intense and they guilt trip you and use emotional blackmail if you reject their advances or show no interest. I've had them lecture me about needing someone to take care of me in my old age - when I tell them I haven't dated for over 20 years and never will again and have no interest in relationships. They try to change my mind. They also try to rush you into a relationship after only one date, declaring undying love........you just know it's BS and a big red flag.
They are extremely charming and love bomb you at first to sweep you off your feet.
Something will feel wrong. Trust your gut.
Just lived this out. Thank you for saying it out loud
Wow! This is so true.
Is it a feeling u cant seem to understand? I feel like im just very confused if its a gut feeling or if its just me bcz of my past relationship
Also he knocked on my door for the first time date and my dad didnt really like talk to him lik tht but i guess my dad told my mom he had a weird feeling about him but idk of my dad just being my dad or if he got a weird vibe from him
Left a psychopath relationship just recently. Relationship was on and off for 3 years, never felt so confused in my life. Very toxic, love bombing, gaslighting, narcissistic tendencies. I may admit I am a workaholic and didn’t have a place at the time; being codependent. Just glad I survived, but still healing.
I met a few in my life.
What has always saved me is that I have a high sense of equality.
I expect the same from men and women, from me and my partner.
I proactively try to show that I am a reliable, trustworthing and caring person, and that is exactly what I am expecting.
If I notice signs that he doesn't notice what I am doing and/or doesn't give back I am gone without explanation.
Six to eight weeks are normally enough to find out.
I also have to say that my sense of fairness is much higher than my desire to be in a romantic relationship.
this is one of the best things you can do. but in the lovebombing stage they usually will appear to also be equal
@@qwertyyxoxo Equality has very little to do with love. And love is still very important. And always will be. Good luck!
I think these personnalities can abuse you for 1 year before their True self, they will follow your rules easily.
Signs of a Psychopath:
1- callous disregard
2 - no remorse
3 - hostile
4 - don’t care about exploiting others in order to meet their own needs
5 - more males are psychopaths but there are more female psychopaths than we believe
Signs:
- excess flattery
- asking personal questions (to get a sense of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities) to use against you
- there is no equality or intimacy, the objective is only winning the game
- they say words but emotions don’t match into it ; leaves you feeling unsettled and distrusted.
Those who fall prey for the psychopaths are generally vulnerable:
- the Lonely
- the elderly
- the sad
Sex with the psychopath:
- they have more and often encounters regardless of status
- they do it for boredom
- for power
- for money
- for housing
- circus sex is not with true intimacy.
How to heal:
- can take years to trust again due to the trauma.
Results:
Processing anger
What can you say to yourself in order to recover-
- it can happen to anyone
- you will learn from your mistakes
- sharing your trauma to foster trust in your next relationship
How to manage a relationship with someone who has been traumatized by abuse:
13:09- end.
The description of a psychopath sounds like the majority of Americans.
Kadesh Hendricksen have u been to america
@@darlynn4736 Much worse than a visit... I'm stuck living there.
Thank you for the summary....I was getting anxious with his very long drawn out approach. I prefer to listen to Dr. Ramani... I like her communication style better.
@@EmpressKadesh lmaoo dw dw there's always some good ones lol
I remember being stalked, cyberstalked, drugged, beaten. He had no emotion after the love bomb. It was so scary.
I’m sorry that happened to you 💔. I’m glad you’re okay and safe now 💖✨
OMG, that is awful, what a f n monster! He'll get his someday!
I wish they would brand abusers! He's a pos. Glad you made it out alive.
I'm so glad you got away! Blessings to you ❤
I’m glad you ok. So sorry you went through. But always remember this, what doesn’t break you makes you stronger.
“Circus sex” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that’s a brilliant term!! ❤
And indeed it is.. and it only gets better when you attempt to leave them..
@@DivaDivine88yes but It Is just sex. They are incapable to make love so in the long rum It become boring anyway.
- Callous disregard in relationships
- Don't show remorse
- They are impulsive, hostile
-They can be aggressive but not necessarily murderous
- They don't care about exploiting others cause all they really care about is their own needs
- There's no equality or intimacy with 'em. ( They couldn't care less, it's a game to 'em,they can be ruthless and they will win)
( Audience note- one indicator-) No matter the specifics/mechanics in the interaction, something about the interaction left you feeling a little unsettled or a bit distrusting.
- They tend to be more promiscuous/tend to have more and shorter relationships.
- Research shows they tend to have sex for: boredom,power,money,a housing situation etc...
- And many more
Yep, spot on
Don’t forget the circus sex 😹
I was married to one, scariest thing I’ve ever been in.
Glad you're free and hopefully recovered. What was the scary bit, losing connection with reality maybe?
They never leave
You're lucky to be alive. Many married psychopaths are the most aggressive at home.
Same here. They are reprobates.
The problem is that it take years before you understand that a person is a psychopath
My mom basically
no it takes just days or weeks if you listen to your instincts.
honestly, that depends really. if you feel like a friend of yours is a psychopath, you would most likely be in denial. make sense since no one wants a psychpath as a friend.
7 years for me.
My daughter,obviously... 😢
Guys have you noticed anytime you leave a lower narcisist the greater narcisist comes through to finish the job the lower one couldn't...
In the midst of leaving the 2nd narc in a row.ive been with. Truth! So much.worse.the second time. The stuff he said truly makes.me.think demonic influence.
Absolutely !!!
@Zen Alegra True. After I was abused by a psychopath my narc ex seems like an angel in comparison.
New levels new Devils, indeed!
@@vikvegas8593 currently discarding a psychopath who caused so much trouble I got kicked out of my apartment I got to get away from my covert narc ex.. now I'm back at my first exe's bc my parents live far out of town, and I have no friends due to being isolated from them bc of first ex.. I am literally back having to put my life back together, keep sane and heal in the place that almost broke me.. while also having my new ex gaslight me and threaten me and the ex I now live with bc he thinks we are screwing and that's why I went back.. the one I live with is trying to pressure me to take him back, even tho I know he's a covert narcissist.. I'm standing firm on my hard NO.. I'm so stressed and depressed I'm literally on the verge of a mental breakdown from living like this and trying to love again get myself out of this situation and back to myself.. I don't know what to do bc even my therapist doesn't seem to understand the depths of the narc abuse I've been thru in my life, and I don't want medication, which is all they usually offer.. Idk what to do..
Divorcing one right now. 30 yrs and I had no clue he was living a double life. Trauma with a big T.
I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that trama for so long! I left one after a little more than 6 years but it took almost 4 years to finally divorce him. At first it was amazing being with him but after a while He physically & mentally abused me. He took advantage of me in every way. I took me years before I finally healed. Be thankful you’re getting out. I wish you nothing but good things in life from now on.
@@moeruss2726 I wish to both of you best ✨🙏
You being naive was never a virtue.
How's he a psycho?
i.m sorry for you, i was married to one for 17 years, he still wants to controle me! he has a hold on my daughter, and her sons ,she is 45 but doesn't see it., the shrink said he has bipolar, i don't know how to get over it.
Been on my own now for 25 years!
When we are children our parents negate our perceptions. We are told we don’t know what we’re talking about. This sends a message to us children to not trust our own observations. It took me years to recover from my childhood trauma and finally realized I was correct in my perceptions 💯%. This really damages our self esteem and trusting who we are. I went no contact from my family of origin many years ago.
Felt. My mom conditioned me to be a co-dependent with impostor syndrome and it took me yeeeeeears to even begin to trust my gut versus convince myself that I'm being "silly" or "dramatic."
Sorry you had to go no contact, but I'm glad you have made a great recovery :)
I went no contact with my mother in the 1970's! There wasn't the internet or people talking about how this was even an option. Yes it very hard to not belong to a family- yet soooooo much worse to be with a sick/ dysfunctional one!
This is so refreshing to hear... I am going through the same thing and felt guilt about going no contact. Also I was becoming more depressed from how noone wants to legitimise the trauma i was put through my entire childhood and adolescence... So letting go of them was the beginning of my healing process but it's still so hard.
I woke up about my family some years ago. In reality I've always felt that someting was odd and wrong but even in the environment where we lived. I've always want to escape or someone to take me and save me. But I'm not sure if now I'm messed up too. I think there Is a large part of me that is toxic. When I'm feeling fine Is the only time when I'm miles away from them but in reality they are always present in my mind or in my beaviour.
Not to mention the fact that here in Italy, if you stop seeing your parents and sibilings, you are considered an asshole and for everyone YOU are the wrong.
Sometime I just want to end my life and my suffer.
Glad to ear that you recover and that I'm not crazy about my gut feelings. Big hug.
I don't recall my parents telling me this. I do remember being asked (on more than one occasion) "why are you so annoying?" 😆. Maybe I was, lol!
He neglected to mention major clues. They have LOTS of charm and charisma, are fun to be around because it's stimulating and enjoyable for any of us to be around someone who always says something humorous, is quick witted and puts those around them in a good mood. People are drawn to them this way when they are 'on' in social situations. Also, they have no anxiety, they have nerves of steel and are risk-takers. A normal person's usual social anxiety talking to someone they are attracted to, and hoping to get something started with them, or at a party, etc., usually makes the other person a little ill at ease as well, because we empathize with them - maybe even subliminally. There is no easy or humorous social banter to make us laugh, feel good, etc.. (unless the other person is a caregiver type and finds fulfillment in "helping", in this case helping the nervous person feel more comfortable.) When not 'on' in a social setting, they can radiate an almost reptillian coldness. They get stony, fixed empty shark eyes, and can be very arrogant, even to people they hardly know.
You can sense after a while (I did) how they view other people like chess pieces, even to the point of somehow manipulating who another person stands next to in a large group, just for the psychpath to see how one reacts to the other. With contempt? Fear? Attraction? Then that data is filed away for some future use to manipulate.
They can seem like two or more people sharing the same body, as if they can switch on different personas, chameleon-like, according to what they feel is necessary in different situations. Their voice can even change, their posture, etc..
They can have tremendous sex appeal because they have no inhibitions and are so fearless, nothing intimidates them. They often act like the 'king of the realm' because of the secret power they feel having everyone duped by them so easily. It makes them contemptuous of others. They rarely show their hand, and rein in their sense of power, often pretending to be accomodating, reasonable and open to the persuasion of others in little ways that don't really matter to them, just to throw people off their scent.
They live.
I wanna know more abt these. Where can I find the information?
@@sunnyboy4553 How true about lying! You'll ask them 'What time is it', and they'll hesitate for 3 seconds before saying 'It's about 5', but never will say straight away 'It's 5.05'. And it a simplest example.
😮😳🤢🤮
@Paradigm Climb But why do they WANT the entities in them? I'm thinking satanism - but I don't understand why they would Want these attachments. I think you are right, but I like to know just why they let these things in or on them?? I'd very much appreciate your answer. Thank you
Yes correct and will wine & dine you until you are caught in their web
I met someone and felt weird about his behaviour but my emotions got in the way. Those who would become my in-laws slightly gave me signs, what I see now as red flags, which I ignored. It took me years of abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting to finally file for divorce. He was a master of faking and lying chipping away my confidence and self-esteem daily. He'd make jokes or rude comments about the way I spoke, my hairstyle, the way I ate, walked, and wore my clothes. He'd victimise himself to convince me to comply. It taught me I have emotional weaknesses that I must deal with.
How do you know if you're dealing with a psychopath...their eyes don't match what they are saying, their emotions can be switched on/off at will to get them what they want, the emotions in their voice always sound rehearsed.
Not all psychopaths are murderers, mine was! Step-father was a drug addict, sadistic drug dealer, child molester, sexual deviant/sex addict, highly volatile, extremely arrogant, so remorseless he acted like he was entitled to use and abuse others, narcissitic, violent, and eventually murdered my mother.
A predator to the very core! He destroyed every life he touched and he did it with a song in his heart. One of those people that when they die people say the world is a better place without them.
Kelly, how horrid for you to have to have known someone who should have put a song in your heart for being His daughter, actually
put such sad memories there instead. Your expression that he did all of that evil "with a song in his heart" reminds me of the day
my husband pretended to feel so sorry that he had ruined our marriage with infidelity, yet he was merrily singing a cheating country song, without knowing that I had returned, + the look of shock that I had seen him without his fake empathy mask on his face+ denial of singing in a completely joyous tone was priceless. When I commented that he sounded very happy, his futile denial of joy while singing "their" favorite lust tune,told me that his empathy for my devistation was just a part of his deception that he cared at all about the intense pain I felt.
Those who wont repent of their evil will be singing a different tune in their final destination, however. God bless you + grant you healing from this atrocity,dear Kelly.
I'm so sorry.
I think that if you go through the trauma of being in a relationship with a psychopath and you survive you become a stronger person and are more aware of how you impact others as well.
@Secret Garden it’s actually crazy that you just replied with this. So there is this theory that certain people who experience some kind of trauma are activated within the spiritual (psychic) realm. The trauma from that experience brings that about. So I definitely would say that is most likely what happened and you are 100% correct with what happened with you.
@Secret Garden Well what can I say... I like my lashes as black as my heart and as long as the list of people that I want to punch in the face. Thank you for your compliment , your very kind.
Yes, you love yourself and know what you really want. And your eyes are open, you can see a rat from around the corner.
I appreciate them bringing out the importance of following your intuition.
My ex was a complete psychopath and a narcissist. We definitely had the circus sex because he wanted to move in. There was no intimacy and no flattery in my situation. He was a drug user and alcohol and sex and gambling addict. He never complimented me he barely could even walk with me he would always walk way ahead of me and made me feel ashamed of just being me. It was war from day one. I was losing everything that made me myself and he was the one helping to slowly erase me.
It was so damaging and I’m just now realizing how much damage was done.
To anyone who has gone through this my prayers go out to you❤
I can actually feel the empathy coming off this man right through the screen.
@@missellenmartin4152 I think your paranoid, if your looking for something your going to find it
@@missellenmartin4152 ? What mask? You're defaming this man's character from a video of him using facial expressions to visually describe his point? Wow and Wrong.
@@metafairy2576 ?
@S Robin you can try to train yourself but really your not going to be able to point it out when its someone in your life, they are too good
not at first atleast lol
Just hearing the word 'psychopath' sends chills down my spine. Scary people. I now understand God blessed us with intuition for a reason.
Yet god allows psychopaths into the world and doesn't kill them all off with accidents in infancy before they fuck up people who aren't psychopaths...maybe "god" doesn't exist...
God also CREATED these psychopaths.
@@adamlewis1961 Well yeah you're right too...
God is not the one to blame here.. we humans are the problem, not God. No one is a psychopath in the womb. Read the Bible for once if you’d like.
@@lynette599 He did not Create any part of Creation to be less than perfect. Sin did and does that, even with you and me. We can reach perfection. Through Jesus Christ only.
I had a friend from highschool. I always sense something is not right about him. First, he appears normal and friendly. If you look closely, his words and actions are subtly abusive. The more you know him, the more abusive he will show. He is also very popular and he plans every move. I interacted with him a few years ago. Sometimes his actions made me feel uneasy. It was gut instinct. He used people and didn't care about their feelings. I thought he was a bad friend and abusive but I had never thought he could possibly be a psychopath. Recently, I remembered he always had to pause before reacting to a situation. He knew how to behave in social group. He acted smoothly in almost every situation. It made no sense why he had to pause and to be confused. Then I realize when he paused, he had no emotion. He waited for people in the group to show emotion and then he copied it and acted like it was his own. I remember everytime I met him, he behaved like that. It sends me chill when I realize how lucky I am to cut contact with him. Now he has more experience, it may be harder to spot his no emotion moment. I wonder how many victims he has in his hands. I once thought he was a good guy and he acted sure like one.
This is so true
Well described...
Ah, you figured it out. You'll get even quicker at sending your Red Flags up when you meet more of the type. I have. They're nuts.
@synchromorph He did. I saw it immediately from past experience.
Could be autistic
A. How to know a narcist people in relationship?
Stage 1:-Love bombing & Idealization
1. They show himself as a generous person,helpful person,culture person,religious person.They used their charming personality,inteligence,beauty to trap you in their love.At first they started giving show so much caring,so much love,so much time,attention, started praising your beauty,your qualities.Due to this you started ignoring narcistic people other aspects like their nature, behaviour,personality.If you want to save yourself from their trap then dont fall in love for beauty,attraction or intelligence.
2.When a person try everything very fast..Like meeting,dating,talking,gift giving..They do all this because they don't want to give time to you for thinking and use your IQ to difference what is right or wrong.This is called love bombing. They attached their code in your mind.
3. Stared future faking like show big future of love relationship, always try to attract other person through offering sex,time,costly gift and seductive talk.
4. They started mirroring you that means first they collect knowledge from you what you like and what you dislike.Then they started liking, interest in those things in which you have like or interest to show empath that his mentality and empath mentality is totally same.They can read and copy you and also their behavior change as per people intentions..Their face mask changed people to people..
5. They always hide their feelings and always show themselves as victim.Like family,friends,society all are against them and they always play victim card.They show themselves as very lonely,in problem,no one is for them.They show themselves such type of victim as they want heeling or support from other person.
6. They always like compliments from you but they dont give any compliments to you.
7. If you ask any question to them they will either delay ,avoid to reply or may change the topic. They never give direct answers to you.
8. During converstaion they always change the focus and topic towards themself. They never give you chance to express your thoughts.Ex-If a narcist go for shoping with his friends if you ask them,how is your shoping? They dont tell you about what they did shoping whereas they may say one of his friend jealous with him for his dress,they may say that in mall some girls stabing them in bad intentions.They create this type of fake story to make attention of other person towards him in every conversation.
9. They always target people who have strong personality, higher status than them or have lower status than them. Most of toxic relationship are comes under narcistic people.
10. They afraid when you talk about marriage with them because they afraid of taking any responsibility of marriage.
Stage -2-Devaluation
1. Sometimes available sometimes not available.Avoid,ignore game,late reply,devaluing once they know you are fall in love with him.They ignore you for many reason like to get attention, admiration,energy from you.They also ignore you if you expose them or red handed caught them in telling lie or Cheating.They may ignore you if they found any other person in their life. They may ignore you as a punishment to control you and to make yourself dependent on them.
2. Never admit own fault.Telling lie in every matter. Shift own blame to other.If he red handed caught in telling lie then never admit own fault instead of started criticism to other person.This is called gas lighting.They started prove you that you are over possesive,over sensitive.
3. Used manipulate word,love word to others when he feels other person is far away from him. To hold on you or use you as a option for long time they confusing you showing love sometime. Sometimes show love and affection where as sometimes angry and quarrel with you on sily matters.
4. If you want his help for any situation he ignore to help you or they act like he forget or totally deny.
5. They always fall in love for sex, beauty,status not for love or emotions because they have no emotions at all.They always set a goal in every relationship.To achieve that goal they may go to any extent.They always cheat their partner in relationship.
6. Narcist always try to control you.They try to cut you from your friend circle, family circle.They do this because they want that you only depend on them for talking,visiting and giving time..They dont to see you happy..and ultimately it creates co dependent relationship with them.
7. Sometimes they will like you. Sometimes dislike you.They always try to confused you.
8. After marriage they withhold sex to manipulate you.They used sex as a tool to control you or dominate you as per their will.Sometimes they dont do sex with their partner to control their partner. They are emotionless.Sometimes they show their love with physical touch to your body.If they stop touching your body to show love then you may make sure that narcist got any other person for them.
Stage-3-Bring another person Triangular love
1. They bring another person to his life and introduce him with his current partner.
2. They will bring the type of situation where he avoid current partner and say current partner to adjust with his new partner.He may try with manipulate words,silent trick and avoid game. Through this type of work he forced his partner to accept his new relationship.
3. If you ask anything to narc about their new relationship they always tell you that you are over sensitive,over possesive, over caring,you are wrong,your thought process is wrong. Ex- They tell you that one of my friend text me and ask me about my beauty.when you ask who is she? Then they show you his mob screen shot to show himself very clean but hide the other part of conversation to confuse you and show you that you are wrong.
4. Sometimes they knowingly started argue with you till your all energy drain.They may not stop arguing with you till you are accepting your fault or say sorry to him.They want to blame you for everything.
Stage-4- Discard
When they think that you are over possesive or not go as per their intentions then they will block you, discard you.They suddenly stop talking with you and started boycott,discarding you.
Stage 5- Hoovering
After 1 month,2 month or 6 month even if after 1 year they suddenly unblock you,started message you or started talking with you,recontacting you. They started all this because at that time they have no option,supply with him,there is no one with him.Thats why they need you. And again they started the same cycle with you till a another person come to his life.
B. How to save yourself from narcist?
Ans:-
1. Just block him from every social media and never comeback to narcist person life. Go ahead and move on. Never in this life time try to contact narcist. If you try to contact with him they will definitely take revenge with you and will do the same cycle.If in future they text you or call you then dont talk with him or dont reply them.Dont prove them they are wrong and dont criticise them.If you reply them then they will started manipulating talk and their words will destroy your mind and peace.They will attach their code in your mind and you again faceing problem to avoid them.They will comeback to your life only to take revenge.Remeber You are narcistic people big enemy because you escape yourself from their manipulating game.This thing hurt their ego.
2. Don't search love from outside of the world.Connect yourself with god for love.see yourself as Krishna point of view.Love Krishna and serve Krishna.Everything in world is false.Every relationship is false.Love Krishna and do bhakti to krishna.
3. Don't expect love,validation from outside world.Your good work will be reward by god oneday.Became a partner of yourself. Never depend upon anyone. Believe on Krishna and depend only on Krishna.Always focus on your goal.
4. Always stand for your own feeling. Don't go for those people who never respect your self respect.
5. Change the nature of loving others after getting insult or devalue from them. Make self respect your first priority.
6. Set boundaries for yourself. Stop believing what others saying good about you,why others showing good behaviors towards you.Narcistic people may compliment you,respect you or give credit to you as per their need from you.They know that you are hunger of validation.They used it as a weapons to manipulate you or take their work from you.
7. Stop explaining and defend yourself. They will never admit that they have any fault because they don't want to loose control over .so don't waste your time on them. Krishna knows very well who you are and what your intentions is.
8. Don't respond or give reaction to their silent treatment,anger . You may follow silence to their every reaction.If you don't follow silence then your own energy are taken by them and you feeling extreme tense and depression.
9. Never make victimize yourself in front of others to get symapthy from narcist or other persons. Never wants sympathy from others.Work on yourself and get out from your problem without wanting help from others.Believe in Krishna.
10.Never expose your plan infront of themself or expose themselves that you know that he is narcist.
11. Always work up on yourself.Work upon your weak point so that in future no one able to use your weak point against you. Do meditation daily to clean your aura. Balancing your masculine and feminine energy with meditation.
12.Never brings expectations while making any relationship.Never share your expectations with anyone.Just remember people will come to your life as per my karmic account and one day they will go from my life once my karmic account will close with those person.
My ex was a psychopath with narcissistic traits.. After I left him I felt beaten down, worthless & empty. He was trying to kill me from the inside..
I feel the same way
Oh my gosh, the part when he explains how traumatic the dating of a psychopath or narcissist is that it takes years to trust. And everything after that is so true! I dated a full blown narcissist whom I think was also psychopathic. I haven’t dated since him because I don’t trust any man I come across. It will be 3 years in May. I’d rather be single forever than risk that hell again. I had just moved to Seattle and was isolated, alone, and lonely. Perfect target. Horrid human being who had no qualms about destroying me as a woman and as a human being
Stephanie Lacoco, hope you are not with a narcissist!
Yup, same thing happened to me i seattle. I was new and wanted to connect with ppl. Welp, that happened. Then it happened again. hope you are doing well.....focus on the good in life and how to spot these signs....dont let it make you bitter or make you lose out on love.....thats my worst fear, that I will be bitter and resentful.
!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel exactly the same!!!! I'm so sorry for you, I know your pain
Steph I haven't dated anyone in years, for personal reasons. I know you don't need anyone to be validated, but I would like to ask, if I may, are you single just because of fear?
You know logically that not everyone is like him. And if you want someone to share your life with I don't think its fair - for you - to live alone or be lonely because of that a**hole.
Do you think therapy might help you find your balance and be well to start dating again? You suffered enough, you dont need more hurt on his behalf. You deserve to be happy and loved.
😂😂get over it
There are a lot of psychopaths leading companies. They are able to charm their way to the top and they tread on everyone they need to on the way up.
No wonder the world is all about money, power and greed. Decency is falling by the wayside.
I was married to a psychopath for 16 years. The trauma was residual. He was a wife beater, an alcoholic and a cheater. Just being touched by a man inspires a jolt of revulsion. The worst thing is how damaging it was to my family. I was blamed for staying and rejected for leaving. I’m healing. Starting to trust myself a little bit at a time. It’s been a little over a yeat
Hope you're doing well if you see this! ❤
you are incredibly brave and resilient. you pushed through and you’re finding your light again
My ex-husband was a cold selfish man who put me down constantly. I was in my early 30s when we split.
3 years later I met a loving, kind, good looking man who seemed to worship me. I fell completely in love with him.
However, 1 year into the relationship, he caused a silly argument and hit me in the head (whilst I was driving). I was so shocked, but he was so sorry after.
Months would go by without incident and it was bliss. Then out of the blue, the temper returned. And it was so bad.
I did EVERYTHING I could not to argue about anything at all, but his temper was terrible, he would also hit other people, everything was about him the whole time and he was so angry at the World.
I stayed 6 years. I had become introverted, depressed, frightened and unable to see my family.
When I finally came to my senses and suddenly ended the relationship I felt relief and calm, but left with the terrible guilt of putting myself and my family through this for so long.
A few years later the Police informed me under 'Clares Law' that he also abused his next partner. And more shockingly his ex-wife before me had 'died' and he had served 8 years for her manslaughter.
Don't EVER think this cannot happen to you. If ANYTHING feels wrong, walk away.
Use those services for background checks on the internet. Cheap at the price.
Okay but that doesn't mean they're a psychopath...
"The Psychopath is motivated above all else by POWER!
Life is a chess game, they are PERPETRATORS and they are going to win!"
NEVER "ENABLE" THEIR DELUSIONS!
Great video! I would add, after a particularly bad experience, that the second you think you're being too harsh or judgmental or second guessing your inclination toward someone (that "off" feeling you're getting) you should RUN, don't walk to the nearest exit. That is your big red flag. After several months of drama and not listening enough to myself, I finally got out with the help of law enforcement. If nothing else, please always do a gut check. You're smart, kind and empathetic or you wouldn't be here, so know that you're not being too judgmental or harsh; your inner self is giving you a warning. Listen to it.
Thank u sm
Many psychopaths block the exit or will stalk, kill or destroy the partner if he or she tries to leave.
That's why it is good to have goals in a relationship and the importance of personal development. If you have these you will feel dissatisfied after a short time with an inappropriate partner and get out of the relationship in time.
True
The word 'SOULMATE' comes to mind...'I have met my SOULMATE'. ..BIG RED FLAG! Because initially, very soon after meeting, they lovebomb you and make you feel you are the most special person in the world...they mirror you so that if you like music, THEY like music, if you like reading, THEY like reading, if you like to travel, THEY like to travel...they treat you like a queen/king...so you cannot believe your luck that you are the one to have actually met your SOULMATE. You might even realize that things are moving too fast, but you don't care because YOU are so blessed as to have met your....SOULMATE.
Well said
Love is blind, and sometimes even stupid. But being stupid may often seem more pleasant than being alone.
"I've been looking for you all my life!" was the line my psychopath used. Twenty years of hell after 2 years together.
That's how it is. But watch out, vulnerable covert narcissists lovebomb through victim play. They can appear quite convincing.
The difference in someone saying to someone "you're the most beautiful person I've met in my whole life" and "you're beautiful" is subtle but pretty significant. The former brings an element of narcissism into the statement, ie the person saying it is putting themselves first by making them the "judge" of your beauty, and this puts pressure on you to meet their expectations/standards. However, saying to someone "you're beautiful" is a lovely throwaway, unconditional gesture which makes the other person just feel special, with no obligations at all.
It's also very significant because it suggests a point of comparing you to other people. It'll become easy for you to question if you're good enough.
Also: Despite the romanticization of these codependent and virtually parasitic types of relationships, viewing your partner as the most important or amazing person in the world in this controlling and hyper-codependent kind of way is a lot like viewing yourself as the most important or amazing person in the world, as the partner becomes the most obvious extension of yourself. I no longer find it appealing or romantic. I want my partner to have love and appreciation for people even if they are not closely bonded with or exhibiting control over them. I do not want to be in competition with other people.
I was brought up by a psychopathic Mother. This woman sent me to the depths of hell mentally. I am so grateful I got away from her & it took me 50yrs to realise what was going on. You can’t even begin to imagine how bad they truly are. My life is a whole new world now and I am grateful I got away from her. They are abusive soul destroying & will ruin you & your life to a nervous breakdown & attempt suicide. The things she has done to me over the years are unimaginable. I thought surely one day she will just love me. I couldn’t understand any of it. The sooner you get away is when you start to heal & think clearly. I am finally free & happy to be ME! Get away as soon as you can & don’t EVER get sucked backed in
Oh my god. I could have written this, I'm 47. I tried to take my life too. How are you doing now?
❤
@@vanessas2363 it’s never been easy as you know but the age of 50 I finally broke free of her & wont ever go back. I am in such a better place now thank you. I hope you are too 💓❤️
@@Kimber-bz9fe goodness me. What an horrendous ordeal. Thank you for your message. I'm so glad you're okay. I have severe CPTSD symptoms and all the health issues that go with it that I attempt to 'manage' every single day. I'm so messed up. I'm broken. I used to wrestle daily with 'guilt' about being a bad daughter and what will I do when she's old and dying. I don't anymore. Finally. I actually have visions of dancing on her grave. She systematically abused me and sabotaged my whole life since the day I was born. The most sick minded and unnatural creature. Your post has validated my feelings and I'm so grateful. Thank you. Only people like ourselves would fully understand the horror of what we endured.
Sending genuine love to you sister, because we really didn't have any. Look after yourself. It's hard, I know, as its a new concept. I really hope we will both be okay 😘😘😘❤
@@vanessas2363 oh your message is literally mirror image of my life as well. It would seem ours identical in so many ways. Keep on the great fight you will get there I promise you that. You will have some tough bad days where you completely break down but those shall too pass. God Bless to you too & love life. Thank you for sharing your experience as I do very much all you endure ❤️🧡♥️🩷
Emotions and humanity are so complex. Here's to therapy, healing, empathy for those who don't have it, and having one's guard up.
Psychopaths and NPD personalities prey on those with an empathetic nature. They entice us like a moth to a flame. This video describes my ex-husband to a T. The red flags were many and I ignored my intuition because as an empath, I felt like I could "fix" him. What a naive and almost fatal mistake that was!! Beware and stay away from these types. You're powerless against then unless you have psychopathic tendencies yourself. Otherwise, they'll destroy you!
Callous disregard
Hostile
Self absorbed/centered
Excessive flattery ?!
Empty words feel hollow
Asking personal questions
Ruthless winners
Power hungry
Thrill seekers
Testing boundaries!! That's a big tell.
@@peaceglory5973 absolutely
plus they have a really high sense of entitlement. And test your reactions.
When I asked my ex why he did or said some things, he often answered: I just wanted to see how you are going to react.
@P T some are real crafty and act the role of a dream husband or wife until they get what they want.
love-bombers
As a person is diagnosed with psychopathy, and has never been in jail. I would like to take the time to say not all of us are like this, and there should be more studies done.
Totally agree, bro
^
yeah; i scored high but nothing like this. In a way yes but not this extreme.
psychopathy sits on a spectrum, equally antagonistic and interpersonally harmful regardless.
Lol, sounds quite appropriate.
When a person constantly talks badly about their ex's,RUN.
Or just talk about ex, doesn't matter good or bad
Disagree big time. Have you ever married a serial killer or narc or someone very sick? If not then you have no idea. These people cause remotional reactions like the doctors said. Didn’t you listen to the end? It’s difficult not to be trigger when they are still in your family and screwing their family members too as his brother in laws little sister. These people are vultures and study you for years.
Run when it SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRue or you will end up like me. This is not that black or white. Even experts like attorneys, law enforcement and therapist! I studied this shit!
Why
Al Glavic what if the ex was psychopat? Still I can't talk bad about him? 😉😉
Callous disregard, no remorse, aggressive, they don't care about exploiting others, only care about meeting their own needs, both sexes can be psychopathic-- but males are usually called psychopathic more. Excessive flattery-- they ask very personal questions (and it's uncomfortable.) Strive to establish a too rapid connection. Motivated by power...no equality or intimacy. Determined to win, there's no other way. (And they don't know any other way.) Their words do not have emotion with them, (and feel weird and unsettling.) Psychopaths size people up and target the weak and vulnerable intentionally. Psychopaths tend to be promiscuous. They need thrills and "the rush" to defend against boredom. Or for power, money, housing...sex is a performance designed to get the psychopath something that they want. There is no intimacy. It will take you years to heal and trust again after being traumatised. Similar to having been with an alcoholic or drug addict, or a severe narcissist.
Women's aid ( a charity which helps abused women ), tell you not to tell a new Partner about how you have been abused. As they may feel you are used to men behaving badly, and will follow suit. ?
I have heard this and stick to it
So true,if you tell a men how you were treated in the past he will think it’s ok to mistreat you.
Yes. Def true. Pretend you were treated like a princess. Then wait and see. It works 😁😁
It's true, this happened with my ex. While there was no physical abuse there was definitely extreme emotional disrespect. The same way I'd been treated prior to him AND told him about. Complete sicko, I'll never make that mistake again💔
No wonder he treated me like crap. Next time I know if I ever date again.
I refuse to date until I can heal myself enough to trust again.
💯
👍
Flip it, trust that you are healing. Start there 💛
Jesus is the Healer. Trust Him. Let His truth set you free.
@@yerasmus4025 hard to do when you spent 20 some odd years begging for his help and you were ignored.
This is SO accurate!!!!! I was in a 7-8 year relationship with a psychopath. 2 years and a hell of a lot of self work and counselling later, I am 6 months into a non psychopathic relationship with a truly good guy. The advice at the end is exactly how he approaches these times and we have made it through every time I was triggered, we only end up coming out stronger to be honest and it’s a WILD feeling! Like isn’t there supposed to be drama and cruelty around every corner???
No. Turns out there is not!!!
There is good, happy, trusting life after a relationship with a psychopath if you educate yourself and put in the work.
Your truly good guy must be very boring. Nothing like the emotional rollercaster that got you addicted. Without emotions women are dead.
Why would a truly good guy be boring? We are very similar and have all of the fun. Please take assumptions elsewhere.
@@EmpressEllie Uh, please ignore the comment from Grot Grabinski. Good guys are NOT boring. Apparently Grot does not understand how terrifying it is to be in a roller coaster, unstable, with drama and cruelty. ANYONE who thinks this is what women want or need is, yes, I'll say it, LAME. I have been in horrible relationships and unfortunately I will probably NEVER date again. I say it is unfortunate because when I was younger I was truly trusting and hopeful that there would be someone for me and I definitely had something to offer a good guy, and life would turn out o.k. Joke's on me I guess. I think the damage just went too deep. I would rather just be alone now. Glad for you that you healed though.
yet 2 and half years later , you still talk about him .. instead of , u know ... well u dont know .
as i psycho myself , i know this and i am pretty sure of it . whatever we do to you , whoever you are , a friend , a boyfriend , a collegue , a teacher , a student , a doctor , a cop ... whatever we are , you will always , always remember us .
yup.
@@EmpressEllie Keep standing up for yourself Eli, it does get better! Don't worry about that last comment. I mean, seriously, why would anyone want to be remembered as a narcissist anyways? Why would anyone be proud to be remembered for hurting another human being, physically or emotionally. That is nothing to brag about. Keep healing Eli.
I remember this strange altercation I had at a flat I was living at. My girlfriend at the time was drinking with the girlfriends of two of my buddies but one of the girlfriends I had never met before. Anyway, I was just in my room chilling when this girl came in and introduced herself and was just over-the-top friendly, like in a really fake way. Then she started to say how good-looking I was and that I should dump my girlfriend because I'm way too good for her. I remember thinking I've only just met you and you have the nerve to say that to me. It was a very weird interaction. A few weeks go by and I'm training at the gym with a friend and he gets a phone call from the police that the very same girl that I had the weird interaction with broke into his house and assaulted his wife in front of his kids. looking back at it now she must have been a psychopath.
Your friend had a side chick? He needs to get checked as well.
Fatal attraction, bunny boiler
Or hopped up on some kind of drug I can go many ways. Yikes!!!
She STILL BREATHING?
I had a female friend of a ex warn me about her and she wasn't lying.... They actually had a heart and sensed I was well intentioned.
I like this guy- he’s good at explaining things, knowledgable, articulate, and down to earth.
I agree. I was spent 30+ years trapped in a psychopathic relationship like this. It feels so good to break FREE!
"...it is excessive flattery, they can't make you feel any better!"
When I asked the person why are they always watching me, they would say;
"You're so beautiful to me... the way you're put together..."
Then they would toss out jabs, digs, and insults "wrapped" in compliments!
Yes!!!
This therapist is excellent. I've never heard someone talk in such detail about someone with a personality disorder.
What’s crazy is we are educated about sociopaths / psychopaths and narcissistic people- yet when we are suspicious of new people we meet and their motives for interaction we are then labeled paranoid or suffer from paranoid personality disorder..... odd
Thats why its not beneficial and helpful to apply labels (ex. He is a ..) without knowing whats all about
I use a telepathic ability called mirroring. It terrifies psychopaths because, within 3 minutes of coming into my sphere, they start seeing themselves. Our CEO gets incredibly nervous around me. I get a kick out of doing it to him.
You basically act the same as them then.
Which means that u just have to copy a psychopath's behaviour to make them nervous?
briliant and heart breaking simultaneously
riiight... sure you do.
I’m kind of wondering if it’s you that is the psychopath. 🤔
My 1st love in college was a psychopath & I had no idea🤦🏾♀️. He fits the description. I always sensed that he was “off” . He would say things like I am only spending time with you because that’s the right thing to do. I told him this guy hit on me, and his response was “ Why didn’t you allow him to take you out, you could have gotten free food” & he wasn’t joking. He was super promiscuous, so I ended the relationship & asked him how he could treat someone so badly, but he said that “he doesn’t regret anything, he has no conscious”, ... That was years ago. I’ve healed now, but this is spot on.
yikes
Yes! What finally woke me up was my psychopath telling me more and more that he was only with me because no one else would want me due to (fill in the blank - face, body, personality). It was so over the top that I dumped him.
This is soo true! I have dated a narcisstic person for many years. It felt like dying from inside slowly each day by day and yet you still are not able to get rid of that relationship because you are a good positive person inside out. But later you relaized like the end of the movie last scene everything starts to make sense. The villian comes at front of your face and try to fight with you or try to kill you because you got to know his real hidden face/truth.
Once you leave that is the most powerful victory you can ever achieved in life till your death❤❤❤👍🏻👍🏻🎯🎯🎯
This nails it pretty well. 2 years PTSD for me after 2 years with her. Healing takes time. Learn to notice the negative thoughts and let them float by rather than dwell on them.
This doctor explained this situation so well AND the interviewer was so professional and non intrusive. This helped tremendously! Thank you gentlemen for this interview.
Another sign is a lack of healthy skepticism, a kin to fear, when dealing with you. A normal person should be trying to size you up to determine if you are the psychopath. Cause if they're not, they are either drunk, hopelessly naive or, you guessed it, a psychopath. And they already know who's the most ruthless between the two of you.
Wow .. this.
@life Lesson : Aren't anxiety and panic disorders literally fear and skepticism about other people?
Yes