Quaint My Ride with Jeremy Clarkson | Top Gear
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- Опубліковано 29 січ 2009
- Jeremy Clarkson riles up a French designer when he commissions a wing-back chair themed car interior - and Hammond and May are on hand to take the 'Quaint Ride' for a test drive Hilarious challenge video from BBC award winning car show Top Gear. Click beneath the video to view in high quality, and visit www.TopGear.com for all the latest Top Gear news and car reviews.
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French- "this is a childish, hideous design"
Polish- "lets get to work boys"
The french person costs 10x as much as well.
@@BachelorChowFlavour Indeed, poles are a cheap workforce even to this day
Jezza: put concrete on the car floor
French:disgusting
Poles: How much cement do you want boss.
Just like in 1939.
@@lucianonahuelgomez1374 The French are indeed very arrogant
"Let's just make the fuel tank smaller"
"Let's just cover the floor in concrete"
Two ideas that should never be intertwined.
They could have easily levelled the floor without concrete as well... but it's for fun
Or even more "We have to move the Petrol tank to make room for the real wood-burning fireplace."
you go to work and have to bounce from gas station to gas station in order to get there
Just wood wood of worked
@@quillmaurer6563 imagine if they swapped the engine to run of woodgas from wood burned in the stove.
0-60 in 35 seconds, handling like an ocean liner, and a auto removable chimney. This truly is the car of the future
Clarkson does it again.
Better than modern SUVs.
“Well try it my way first...
“And then we’ll finish it.”
Penis
@@skybird903 I agree
@@skybird903 idk why but I bursted into laughter over that, thanks I guess
I mean Jeremy imagines something you would design in your garage. Pull the interior out and grab the wood and cement you have in the shed.
“How old are you, Jeremy?”
“Nine”
nein
2:02
thank you 1998 Subaru Impreza 22b STI very cool
"Really? Going on five, I think."
A Brit, a Frenchwoman and three Poles operate on a German. Patient dead.
Added: Oh boy, the comments under this relatively harmless joke really took off. But good to know some people got a laugh out of my humble jest. Careful to anyone who steps below - I may have accidentally started another world war.
@Wandy Wexler Weslon British engineering is horrible. And Austrians are in fact Germans.
"french"
@Wandy Wexler Weslon Only ethnically. .... Only ?
@Wandy Wexler Weslon Wow really ? You blew my mind.
One day you get your head out off your ass you may understand all this here.
@Wandy Wexler Weslon He was making a reference to WWII
I like how the designer was useless and the Polish chaps did a pretty nice job.
Is this a reference to WW2?
@@nithyanandamvinukonda8372 No... but now you made me see it. In a way...
That's pretty much every construction job.
@@mrichar9 as a designer myself in the pipeline industry, this hurts. Can I have my moment when the contractor blamed a faulty design on me but it was faulty because he gave me wrong info?
Typically how it goes when it comes to building houses anyways.. they ignore reality and what is reasonable, and what the customer wants, and design what they want..
“With Anglo-French relations at an all time low, it seemed the car would never actually get finished”
I love this show
Fetchez la vache !
@@ThePirouliette "quoi?", "FETCHEZ LA VACHE"
@@ThePirouliette
Kids)t
Yup
@@Soul_404. UK and France were always enemies!!
🇬🇧😡🇫🇷
You don’t need a stop watch for the acceleration you need a calendar
You would need a proper calendar, like *Stonehenge*
see how long it takes this rock to erode from the wind
And a bigger fuel tank...
0-60 in 3 years
@@Hoch134 no worries, another person can walk up with a Jerry can and fill up as you go
“Fully adjustable”
By which he means “unsecured”
Lets not get bogged down in who unsecured who...
Fully adjustable mean flying around and falling over in this case
Love how May says the brake lights are an MOT fail, as if unsecured chairs sliding round, loose globes and pots clattering and a stopping distance the length of a football pitch would've been just grand
I'd like to have seen them put it in for one! The list of failures would probably have been bigger than Hammond's Lanchester!
Still safer than a cybered trukkk.
I don’t know - I mean, Peugeot’s are allowed on the streets.
theres also the lack of seatbelts and the ceiling lamp that blocks the rear windshield
i love the "Jérémy" at 4:12 a true french
Jérémie
ZeReEMiE plZz
Sexy as hell
@@that_bloke_kiri since when saying a name the french way is sexy? XDDD Guess if I go in another country you gave me a way to get girls XD
@@_underscore_2381 French, Spanish and Italian are known as romantic languages, so there's that.
"I want, i want mah wingbacks, i want mah stone floor" lmao
Like a child having a tantrum. XD
He is a child.
@@Ward1706 to be fair she is being paid to design for the customer if you designed and built something for yourself regardless of the customer demands be prepared to eat the design and building cost and the cost to fix it she is entirely unproffessional not designing what is asked of her it doesn't matter if he is a child that child is the customer
Oh come on this whole thing is scripted and set up, shes an actress XD
Fleur Puttock Like he said, he’s 9 years old.
"This is why you gave in in the war, "it's too difficult"." Well he speaks his mind.
That is not how you use quotation marks, my friend. Close, but not quite.
French people are generally like that.
exactly, meanwhile the polish soldiered on despite the odds. just like the war
@@SharpForceTrauma what
the polish government actually never surrended, and became a government in exile during ww2. And the 1944 warsaw uprising was the biggest military effort taken by a resistance movement in ww2
“REGRAIN CONTROL OF THE COTTGE”
i fucking died hearing that
"Regain control of the cottage"... Might use that phrase next time the housework is overdue 🤣
REGRAIN
yep that's the quote that got me
Wherever Marie is today, I hope she's well. Her contrast to Jeremy is too funny 🤣
I absolutely adore the way the blokes Jeremy hired do exactly as he says, and they do it with mad grins on their faces. I feel like each of them is great fun to have around or a beer with.
I say that in the African special they did even better then that car and did it better then the motor homes these three blokes have with three different styles all three learned how make it better and even better
That's what happens when blokes work together. We revert back to children, the more dangerous and stupid the more we connect. It doesn't matter what language we speak, we're all the same.
I live in the Netherlands and we have a LOT of Polish immigrants here. Trust me when I say that every single pole is like this. They do the job you ask for, no questions asked, they do it decently as well, then they just go home and likely have a few beers (or a few too many) and rinse and repeat the next day 😂 also, every single one of em is nice as hell and very humble
@@revursed2069 Nice as "Hell"! :) That's quite a complement. Immigrants usually are. Especially the 1st gen immigrants. If you wanna see their real colors though, you have to go the country of origin. :) And then you see the real reason why they left their country!
@@ollie2244 Blokes are chill, no front, not bitching, not backstabbing. Girls on the other hand... my god the amount of front and passive aggressive bitching amongst each other. And lets not forget how closed off they are to men.
I like Clarkson's idea of a quaint ride, but May would have actually designed it well.
and brown
I think Clarkson has the credentials. I’m basing it all off of the violent amount of tweed he’s wearing.
It May designed it everything would be corduroy.
May is just so damn smart.his toy show is awesome.lego house episode was one of my favs.
Yeah, look at the limousine challenge. Much better.
2:01
"How old are you Jeremy?"
"9"
"really? going on 5?"
"i know i dont look 9 but i am 9"
He certainly didn’t look 49 either. More like 59+.
@@kasperkjrsgaard1447 and now is 89
Missed the opportunity to call it 69
@@LipeGabriel925 He just turned 62 April 11, but yeah he looks rough
5:37
the reaction by Hammond is priceless. gets me in stitches every time
Yeah, I especially like how James looks a little mischievous when Hamster says they took it out for a test drive
Regain control of the cottage! -James May 2009
2006
Sry mamen
+xx-thomas38-xx No problem ;)
The 3 sentences you never want to hear your driver say:
"Regain control of the cottage."
"That is bleeding quite a lot."
"James, I can see double."
When husband is arguing with his wife
I can imagine health and safety having multiple heart attacks when Hammond and may were testing the car
You can see through the windows that during all inside scenes car was barely moving.
Speeding scenes are fake with proper seat.
As usual.
They have heart attacks when Hammond drives *any* car
@@ukranaut the car itself is slow on its own though
@@ukranaut I mean, the car is slow as hell as is
Good. Buggers need to lighten up.
In her defense, she probably thought this was her big break where she was gonna get to show her design ethos that she'd been working on all her life to the world, and, after some arguing when she realized it would be "set design" (which it was, it's for TV), she did a good job designing what was eventually built.
in her defence, the whole thing was probably scripted.
@@matthewleong2726 I doubt it. Jeremy and the producers walked in there with a plan, for sure, but no way was this written out line-for-line in advance.
She was most probably asked to be critical towards Jeremy to make whole skit funnier.
I’m sure she was in on the joke. In the real world, a designer and who was at odds that completely with their client would have either left the project, or shut up and did what the client asked so that they could get paid and moved on. They wouldn’t have stuck around, arguing in front of cameras and doing interviews.
But surely a good thing to show off is the fact you can actually listen to a client, understand a brief and do as you're told in the first place?
“Yeah, I’m bleeding quite a lot...”
I'm seeing double!
We need more of Hammond and May. This combo is rarely used.
Now we have only Hammond and may
+DILLON ROSS Jeremy is not in the series anymore , didn't to know?
+hypersonicattack Hammond and May said they won't do it without Jeremy
+Lego Jackman Christ you're behind on the times aren't you.
Aiman Zaki - well, they've had some tests together like the "spend 24 hours in a car" challenge, darts/conkers games, "cab driving" two times or the greatest races versus Jeremy old chap :)
4:51 you can see her in the back and she's the only person not clapping lol
Oh my god I never noticee her there
She is still pissed..!!! hahahaa
Lol she folds her arms too. :D
Oh boy, she looks pissed like hell. XD
Oh yeah, yellow jacket, white trousers
Pissed off
The way May and Hammond are just sliding around in the car is hilarious every time I watch this clip
"Regain control of the cottage!"
Shut the fuck up
"Regain control of the cottage" hahahahahaha :D
I like the extremely French way she pronounces "Jeremy". Sounds almost like an exasperated curse word.
Sounds hot
I swear she made me believe it was a mild swear "Jelly me!".
It is
4:14
i thought she was cursing
Ah the glory days of top gear. Have to love Jeremy's one-liners like "We'll try it my way first, and then we'll finish it"
"Regain control of the cottage!"
Never fails to break me
They missed the opportunity to make the steering wheel one of those antique plates that everyone's mum seems to have.
Ehah genious
I would hesitate to ask 'Whose ashes' when shown the ash tray
My family understands how useless they are
My grandma has a cabinet labeled “rich people stuff”
Would hurt when you crash and it shatters in your face 😂
A china in cases steering wheel?
"How many of you are Polish?" hahahahhaa
The metaphor about the Poles and the French according to war was brilliant :P
Im Polish too!
Why would you call yourself a whore?
LukeInside well they both did have the best resistance movements in the war, and the most vicious pushback to occupation
Me
3:00 “No! This is why you gave-in in the war, ‘oh it’s too difficult’ “
HAHAHA! 😂
“With Anglo-French relations are an all-time low...”
See it’s witty stuff like this that’s the reason why neither of the new presenters will ever be a true replacement for Jeremy...
@@Dragoneer None, really. They've gone through a lot of presenters and only recently stumbled upon a combination that seems to have some chemistry
3:43 "what's the matter with chips with vinegar on them." *Dramatic music plays*
"This is why you lost the war".
"When you hear this, just hear Agincourt"
"Ask them, they're Polish, they'll know".
LOL. Gotta love Clarkson.
not Agincourt, Azincourt (1415)
Oh, you mean one of the battles of yet another war where the French beat up the Brits?
Not so genius to bring up the 100 Years War since Jeremy's nation was the loser.
@@litamtondy Azincourt was a great victory for the British army. It seems that the French during this battle didn't have enough fighting spirit. It's a pity but it's true.
@@DL-ls5sy The 100 Years War was a great victory for the French. It seems like the British were not good enough. It's true. So yeah, kind of dumb to brag about a battle from a war YOU LOST.
@@litamtondy No. Jeremy's nation was the winner ! and the Frogs were the loser
"This is a joke..."
Woman, it's top gear...
Yeah I am sure she doesn't know that. There's no way they actually asked her to act like that! lol
Kolzi yes it’s staged to a degree obviously
It’s just funnier to have her react to Jeremy. I think she knows top gear is supposed to be ridiculous. Don’t be so dense
It’s funny cos she knew he was English but she was still surprised he doesn’t have style
Stefan Holt He has more style than all this fancy rubbish... ❗️
He get is homely not cool as ice. And that is important.
I like his style, and I am German! 😂
"We'll try it my way first and then we're finished." Adopting that.
8:00 One of my favorite moments in Top Gear - watching James and Richard struggle to get Jeremy's modded car around the test track while listening to Craig Armstrong's "Ball".
"This is the fastest Anne Hathaway's Cottage has ever went" im done lmao
"56 miles an AAAAAHH" - Richard Hammond
I love the fact that they put the wood fire stove near where the fuel tank is. Nothing could possibly go wrong lol
The designer just moaned whilst the builders were loving it😂😂
The episode where Jeremy Clarkson became James May.
4:51 she is behind Jermey not clapping at all when he introduces his masterpiece. Triggerd.
she was there
In the green top, wow I never noticed before. And to be fair she does start clapping.
@@Shakes-Off-Fear you can also see her laughing after Richard's comment
She was a good straight man for Jeremy's absurdity.
Tbh she is (probably) a real designer , she is putting her reputation on the line. Of course the people who watch the show understands it's all a joke
7:45 so are the other wires like the reversing lamps!
Which, unlike the brake light wires, managed to stay intact..
@@witchcraftanditsconsequenc4280 magic
Honestly I want these two to have their own show together where they just argue over how to design cars and the polish builders get all the work done in the background
Even to this day, there is no car show that even comes close to being this entertaining.
I doubt there ever will. It would probably derivative.
Thats because its an entertainment show that features cars . I wouldn't describe it as a car show , you don't need to like cars to like this
"zeremey"
French prononciation
Zat is veally revolting
@@Nobody-nz6vy you hav a problème wit ze prononciation oui hav
@@MakoTism Wat
@@maecinen9926 wat
"How about this: we'll try it my way...and then we'll finish it." Lollll
@08:32 my favourite line: "Regain control of the cottage!" (JM)
“I want it to be like my house”
Me: “You mean a pile of rubble with a book of filled with photographs Hammond’s face?”
A glove box filled with shakira CDs
"this why you gave up in the war!" Jeremy says to a French woman
I'm actually dying this was hilarious
@@mjn5016
Ethnicity no, language wise and by nurturing, yes
@@mjn5016 She clearly is French. Don't get all BNP
@@andrewtucker94 Whether or not she is French is irrelevant, since what you are seeing here is not the a realistic representation of the French attitude, but a manifestation of British prejudices about the French (most likely she is in on the joke and in her own way is mocking Jeremy and the British perception of the French).
@@mjn5016 is zinedine zidane not french? thierry henry not french? get the fuck out of here with that racist bullshit
Are you actually dying are you? I take it you're dead now then.
She’s great! I love the feisty French lady in contrast to Jeremy 😂
French designer would think that you don't need to be able to see out of the passenger window ever because you're in an opaque box.
6:34 to 6:40 "Plantpots are over, flower arrangements sliding backwards quickly, me globe, me pots, me plants" - James May 2009
8:29 "regain control of the cottage"😂😂😂😂😂
The designer is hilarious... I love her. When she's trying to give ideas for the doors, Jezza makes a face, and she goes into her disappointed tone. Perfect.
"Vinegar on chips, is revolting, absolutely revolting."
Says the French that eats snails. SNAILS.
I can just imagine Bilbo rolling up in the Shire in this.
Oh yeah? I can picture him turning up at Bag End at 60 MPH then breaking firmly as the Sackville-Baggins were running off with the silverware.
@@paleface171 the look on his face when he sees them rolling away in their JAAAAaaaaags.
Hobbits in the hood.Gandalf is now a drug dealer and at the same time a Cop, Frodo is a Junkie who owns a famous crime leaders ring, Gimli is a Scottish immigrant, Legolas is the rich white guy, Aragorn is the protector vigilante of the hood, and the orcs are now a bunch of racist goons.To survive they must pop a cap in the evil crime lords ass Sauron Garfeltavius.
Bilbo Swaggins
In the episode, the chimney blew off when they were doing the lap, and not only were they sliding all about, the car filled with smoke, I wonder why they cut that. That was the funniest bit to me.
+Synthetic Corrosion I know, right? I always laughed really hard! I still laugh when they fall over. "I'm seeing double!"
I thought that was in the electric car episode
@@curleypubes3672 this
This was posted in 2009 when UA-cam still had a 10-minute limit for videos. So they had to cut stuff to fit within that.
Mandela affect
Hahaha she's awesome. People forget this is all an act. She was asked to perform like this and she nailed it! Imagine this episode without her, you would have 3 poles working on a car ;)
Agreed and her accent was so cute, I actually really liked her
@@lostmyhead8220she's so beautiful. I hope she still is ❤
Recommended this to my teacher for a demonstration of inertia, best physics lesson ever when we watched it
would had loved to see Stig testing it out :D
I *think* he did....
lol
He did a lap and fell out of the chair it's on a top gear DVD I think not on regular show.
Some say he invented the book, and that he was able to lease his own cottage for 2 pounds a month, all we know is hes called the Stig
@@analien965Where I can I find this DVD?
*_6:59_**_ Fifty sick smiles and air!_*
03:45 as a French that learned to love your bloody chips, this statement is one of the truest
"let's try it my way first ... And then we'll finish" 🤣
Deisnger with French Accent : Becauase who cares abot what the customer wants!
The customer is king but the customer doesn't always know what he wants. The goal of a designer is to make something nice, anybody can draw what he/she wants on a piece of paper.
Oh i know that, i used to be a salesman.
But freaking after being told 3 times what you want xD
XD
He asked for quaint not modern
Lucky Luke false, you could be asked to design an execution chamber. That's not going to elegant and modern is it.
The role of a designer is to turn the customers idea into reality.
If you ask a joined to fit you a door, and he fits a a window instead and says ''you just don't know what you want and have no idea about design'' they would get a punch.
If she said, Jeremy sorry but the floor isn't structurally capable of what you want, that's acceptable critique, not I don't agree therefore I just won't do what your asking
"We'll try it my way ... And then we'll finish" perfect
It's taken me this long and this many re-watches to notice that she's stood behind him in the studio and is refusing to clap.
6:38 Me globe me pots me plants
We'll try it my way first....and then we'll finish.
------ Jeremy Clarkson
6:55 this editing has me dead😂😂
Oh no!
Anyway....
“We’ll try it my way first then we’ll finish” essentialy he said your way is stupid my genius is superb especially 2:33
4:14 lol I love how exasperated she is with him.
"Tweed doesn't go with it" is an excellent piece of justification. As an avid tweed wearer I might use it next time my boss suggests something I don't like.
Zhe-ramee, pleez. a leetle style.
Richard Merrick The way she said his name was somehow really hot.
Wanderer628 I was about to say that
Wanderer628 She's French. There's your answer.
Felice Graziano JJJJJJEHREMEE
I’m swiss so I’ll stfu
The designer doesn't know the golden rule. "The customer is always right in matters of taste."
you're 100% right. if it was not on a tv show jezza would have just found someone else. simple as that.
@@tomjw7499 Just trying to spread the full quote. It's starting to bug me how people say only the first half expecting extra service.
Ha! Are you kidding me? Have you ever worked in design? Customers have no taste and they don’t know what they want.
@@adorabasilwinterpock6035 No taste is still the customer's right to have. The originator of that quote used it in context of clothing. If the customer wants red when it clashes with the green suit, let him.
Well usually yeah, but this is Jeremy Clarkson we're talking about.
Lmao I absolutely love how her and Clarkson constantly bicker and pull no punches.
Completely dismissive of the customers needs. Jesus.
CupCS it's called being french.
Cup yes? You said my nickname.
I never knew that the French were jerks.
They're pretty high and tight for surrender jockeys.
Chicken Pickin' Bastard hahahahaha
remember when you complain with a frenchman/woman, ALWAYS bring up how they lost the war
You are thinking of ze Germans! they lost the war. The French gave up after the Germans fired a few rounds into Paris after 9 minutes.
FireHawk Gaming so they did not lost?
FireHawk Gaming Fired a few rounds by accident on the way to Spain for a holiday.
and Won 2 world cups (more than little england)
netweed09 yes soccer the most useless comeback in history
6:03 close ur eyes
You know your getting old when watching these old episodes feels nostalgic
"how many of you are polish" omg im crying haha
Yet they did a great job.
Yeah I died there. They Marie's reaction to the vinegar chips *buried* me 😂
I know the seats would be terrible, but I would absolutely love a motorcar like that. A car with a fireplace, could it get any better? What a wonderful car-Hood ornament, fireplace, parlor chairs, wood, and plaster.
+Jacob Woods If you had sort of quilted wingbacks but on rollers like normal car seats, it could work.
But I think the fireplace would be a bit hazardous, as demonstrated here, the chimney mightn't work and the smoke could be a problem too.
+Jacob Woods Do it! Im building a pimp mobile (on a budget) and I already have plans for a fountain in the back!
The problem is your are going to die when the damn car catches fire.
+Jacob Woods I think you could get away with it much easier in a Ford Transit of even an old VW Campervan - combine the looks and feel of a wingback chair with a modern car seat (I suppose you're not far off studded leather racing seats with extra cushioning!).
+Jacob Woods Use a Citroen Berlingo, TONS OF SPACE. trust.
Jeremy's genius continues to impress me
It frightens me.
This remains one of the funniest Top Gear clips ever
I actually like that car he made could use a few adjustments like bolted down seats a stronger chimney and such but I really do like it.
how much would a well executed version of this be worth to you?
illdeletethis I'm willing to give you exactly half of my monies to make it happen
+CD8T LFA1 how many bitcoins is that?
illdeletethis 0.0000000008273
I’d say this would be much better if it could be done in a station wagon.
One of their very silliest, and a good example of why old Top Gear was so damn popular!
“- I mean that with respect… but I have no idea what he’s on”
I absolutely love her 🤣
Also: “Oh no!”
What?!
“The chimney fell off :c “
😂🤣😂
8:56 That's one of the most hilarious sounds I've ever heard. It's like one of those cartoon mining shift horns ghghhahahaaaaaaaa
I liked Marie's design... It would work very nicely in some funky limo.
But in a car made for Jezza? No... XD
Megadriver I thought that the law dosent let you drink and drive and shes made a vodka bar!
Cool guy Passengers
no way jose
8:12 buffeting - James
The finished interior looks unreasonably good. Very well designed!
I've seen videos of train cabs quainted like this lol. Minus concrete obviously, but it looked good and was practical and usable
“When you hear this you just hear agincourt” 😂 4:25
Azincourt
Designer: This is too difficult
Clarkson: This is why you gave up in the war
One of my favorites, pure gold wit
The most brilliantly entertaining show in television history. Period.