A bi ace guy explains his sexuality, (can I really be bi and asexual at the same time?)
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- How can a person be bisexual and asexual at the same time? Surely you can’t be bi and ace all at once?
Well, you actually can. The bisexual and asexual spectrums are connected and intertwined. You can be on both spectrums at the same time.
In this video Mark explains his sexual orientation and how he is able to be both bisexual and asexual at the same time.
Mark describes how his sexuality moves along the bisexual and asexual spectrums to form the unique identity that he has.
He discusses many concepts such as greysexual, ace flux, bisexuality, multisexuality and much more.
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It’s sometimes difficult to explain to people that just because I’m ace doesn’t mean I can’t want a romantic relationship or platonic relationship, seeing as there are different ways to split things. Aces can want to date, want a relationship (platonic or romantic), or anything others might want. We just don’t feel attraction sexually.
I don’t want to just take over the space but for a while, I definitely feel like I’m on the Aroace Spectrum. It doesn’t mean I’m a hermit or that I’m incapable of having feelings but sometimes, I don’t want conventional cookie cutter ideas of attachment and companionship. It has taken me ages to truly accept platonic relationships.
This is your space. I’m so grateful for you sharing. We are aroace spec family.
thank you for sharing these deep thoughts❤ i think its also important to differentiate between sexual attraction and romantic attraction❤
The spilt attraction model is very helpful in understanding who you are- recently discovered that I am panromantic as well as bisexual. It's also totally okay (and queer af) if your romantic and sexual attractions don't fit with each other (there's somebody in one of my support groups who's an ace lesbian, and I have a friend who's a sweet ace panromantic lady that helped me understand this and was genuinely thrilled when I told her about our shared romantic label, and I know someone else who is ace biromantic- it's definitely becoming more frequent). I may not be aro/ace, but I am an ally to the aro/ace community and support people that are, as I support all sexualities and gender identities.
Happy Pride and thank you for this video!
What's the difference between pan and bi for you? why you are bisexual and panromantic and not just pansexual ?
Sorry for being late- valid question. While I am open to dating and loving all genders and gender is not really a factor for me, I do have some gender preferences. It’s a question I get a lot and I understand where people come from when asking it
I relate a lot to your content 😊 ! After realizing I'm bi, 4 years ago I've realized very recently (a month ago) I'm demisexual. And it was very difficult for me to understand that about myself, because I geniuinely thought people were lying about their sexual attraction ... I couldn't believe people could be THIS sex-obsessed and that it would occupy so much of their thoughts or even time ... I just thought people were either lying or exaggerating or ( very few people) were actually too obssessed with sex.
The fact I grew up religious made me believe I was just a good Christian girl and I was stronger than most my peers ...
But the truth is at time I thought I was kind of broken because as much I knew I could be sexually attracted to someone, it was ONLY after sharing a strong emotional bond with them (and even then it didn't automatically happen at time).
By following you, I understood that bisexuality and asexuality are both on a spectrum, so when I came to term with the fact I'm demisexual and biromantic (and by biromantic, I definite it as being attracted to people regardless of gender identity and expression), it gave me so much strength and confidence. Sometime I label myself as bi or queer or bi and ace.
My demisexuality/asexuality describes how I'm attracted to people and my bisexuality describes who I'm attracted to.
Thank you so much for this comment, it made me understand how demisexuality works!
I love this video so much and find it so incredibly interesting. I myself identify as bi and ace, but in a different type of way. The language I use for myself is biromantic asexual. (though I will often call myself simply bi, ace, and/or even just gay depending on how willing I am to explain things to people) The way I explain it and the way it’s made sense to me is that bi means attraction to more than one gender, and ace means little to no sexual attraction to anyone. (My personal definition of bi tends to be closer to what many people would call pan or omni, make those distinctions wherever you want) I specify biromantic because while sexual attraction isn’t really a thing for me, romantic attraction very much is. I really love that you brought up a bunch of other terms like pan, omni, poly, and ace flux, especially because I used to identify as aroaceflux. I’ve come to understand bi as more of an umbrella term that includes identities like pan, omni, and poly, because all of those are rooted in a definition very similar to bisexual, just with certain specifications. (If anyone disagrees with that feel free to let me know, I’m very fascinated with other people’s interpretations of labels) All in all this was a really well put together video and I think it has the potential to help a lot of people, so thank you.
Hi Mark, I usually don't send these, but your content has been incredibly helpful to me in navigating my sexuality and gender identity journeys over the past month. I am so glad I found this channel; thanks for all that you do!
@@ArtemisP-i4t hey there thank you so so much! I’m so humbled by your kind donation to the channel and your kind words. It means an awful lot to me. Your donation will go towards getting our content out to more people who need it. I’m so glad that you have found my content helpful. Sending so much love and gratitude to you today. 🩷🌈
I am currently binging your channel because wow😍 it’s SO good and I love it here! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for creating it! keep on going, sending so much love x ✨💞✨
This just made my day 🩷
@@notdefining ❤️❤️❤️
This is the earliest episode I’ve seen on the channel. Also, great choice of topic as always!
Hey thanks so much. You are always first prize winner for commenting. And always so lovely. Thank you. 🩷🩷🩷
@@notdefining NO, YOU’RE BREATHTAKING 🤩
Sometimes I feel like a pareto principle. Roughly 80% gay, 20% straight; 80% asexual and 20% sexual. But it in reality it really depends on the person.
My environment thinks rather black and white, so in their eyes, i´m just gay.
Omg thank you I feel so seen and validated by this. I get you completely.
Hi Mark. This is part of my coming out process. I'm glad you asked how we identify. Like you, I too use several identifiers. For your FYI I use BI, Gay, Pan, Queer and Homosexual. I've held onto BI since I first realized my dual gender attraction back in Middle School which for me was late 60's - early 70's. As the LGBTQIA community has made advances during those decades, so have I. Recently the discovery that personage more than gender attracts me caused me to realize PAN is equally my existence. I am 66 will be 67 in August so real late coming out. Was married for 20 years to a woman and had 3 kids with here. deeply closeted but watching our community make advances in acceptance and rights while also suffering extreme backlash. I've kept aware of the pros and cons of being out. After our divorce dated a woman but broke up with her because I did not love her. Had several gay hookups which left me unfulfilled. Then my eldest grandson came out as Gay. I knew then I should as well. It's just shy of a year as I type this. The local LGBTQIA Community Center sponsored me to attend PRIDE last June which I enjoyed and took part in several of their programs. Fast forward to NOW and I sit on this year's PRIDE Committee coordinating volunteers and communications. Yeah it has been a VERY eventful year!!!
Thank you for making this video and sharing even more about yourself Mark! When I watched the first video where you discussed your asexuality, I assumed you were trying to say that you were biromantic and asexual (i.e, the split attraction model). However, now I realize that you're biromantic and bisexual but that your sexual attraction is very low. You always teach me so much in your videos, including new things which of course is important. Keep up the good work! Looking forward to more videos!
I'm Ace. It's nice to hear from and to see other Aces.
This is the kind of information that I wish had been available to us back in the 80s and 90s. Being a part of Generation X (the last generation of children who grew up without the internet), we weren't privy to this type of knowledge. Add to that all the rhetoric that was dished out by the church, along with the threat of fire 🔥 and brimstone, you had a bunch of kids (me in particular) who were scared to death of even touching ourselves. 😮
Damn, that must have been hard
@@CherryBerryFashion It really was, but I survived it, and despite the spiritual trauma, I wouldn't take anything for the Era in which I was born and raised.
I consider myself bi and demi. I've always been demi since my college says but I just didn't know how to define it back then. But if someone is confused about what being demi if I don't have the energy to explain it to them I'll just say I'm on the ace spectrum and they get it
Thank you for doing this video i identify myself bi/ace
Thank you so much for sharing how you feel. I feel almost the same. And is that knowledge about yourself confusing for you? Because for me it surely is. Yeah, I don't wanna conform to any labels given by the society, but when it comes to a relationship I feel this urge to commit to a certain label on a bi spectrum and ace spectrum. And it scares me a lot to engage in a relationship because on the first day I might be one person and on the next day my sexuality might change.
Lovely video. I’m trying to understand asexual spectrum better because it seems that people experiencing ace feelings that I know are people who sadly have suffered and been hurt. And there are those who are naturally just ace
Asexual? So, taking over Denmark, Chocolate Cake, and Garlic Bread?
(This is only after doing research in Meme Studies)
All of this absolutely.
I wonder if a guy in my class fits this description. At first, I thought he was simply being friendly. Also, for an extremely handsome and tall model-looking guy, he has no girlfriend. But he is very touchy with me or was in the past and very generous with compliments about my appearance. However, when I try to ask him out he moves heaven and earth to NOT spend time with me. At least, any alone time. When other people are around, that seems to work for him but one on one, somehow he always comes up with an excuse. I started to get pissed off actually but I simply decided to stop focusing on him and started ignoring him. Still, he tries to compliment me. Almost everyone in class says they find him socially awkward but for such an attractive person being socially awkward seems kinda silly. Oh well, now that the crush I had on him is over, I just find his compliments kinda annoying now these days cos it even sounds like he is making fun. At first, I thought he was closeted. Then I thought he was straight. Now, I wonder if i misjudged him and he is BI but ace?...
Aroace that has been in two relationships before in the pasts been single for over a year
So why bi and not pan?
Level of attraction is very subjective. How do different people quantify the concept of levels in order for them to be comparable for the purpose of figuring out where on a spectrum one is?
I use pan as well. It’s just a subjective call based on what term you feel represents you the most. There’s no science to it. It’s just how you feel.
Signs i know i wasn't straight.
Sign number 1 i start having crushson tv soap characters on both men and women.
Sign number 2 i start having crushes on men and women singers
Men singer call peter andre who sings mysterious girl and girl singer call Jessie J .
Sign number 3 i start kissing photo of girl on my high school musical balloons name is Vanessa Hudgens who plays gabriella montez in hsm
Sign number 4 i start having fancying Lesbian call Rachel in my old work place for special needs.
Sign number 5 i got crush on celebrity like
Peter Andre and Zac Efron And corbin bleu and Jessie j and Vansssa Hudgens and Girl from 90 day fiance Call Erkia Owens
Sign number 6 i can't stop thinking about it
Please can you help me please
Does this class as bisexual yes or no
Yes
@@notdefiningwhat do i do now then
@@Jess-wk5jo What I’m personally doing is I allow myself to slowly explore this bi territory. I will be trying out going on dates with other girls that are into girls via dating app. And see how I’m feeling and go from there , hope that helps!
@@CherryBerryFashion i have austim that problem
Are you neurodivergent 😊
Yes I am autistic and have c-PTSD.
3:45 Comp-Het? Such a sad reality
Zero energy ✅ zero excitement ✅ boring to listen to✅ glasses ✅ flag as home decor ✅ you are definitely asexual. You check every box 😅
Wow this screams hurt people hurt people. Hope you get help
That is so rude!