@@danielpintard7382 I think he was talking about people seeking acceptance by putting on a front or by hiding their true self. You get good feelings from being accepted by the group, but in that case it's not the real you being accepted so it doesn't lead to happiness.
@@danielpintard7382 I used to smoke weed because it made me feel good but in the end it made me unhappy and now that I stopped I’m way better for it. We have to give up many pleasures to build a happy life. We all know that watching videos on UA-cam all day and playing a bunch of video games to avoid our responsibilities is gonna make us unhappy, but even so we still choose to do these behaviors. Atleast for me, I often do these things knowing full well that I’m sacrificing my happiness for short term pleasures. Now some people may not be aware that some behavior of theirs is making them unhappy but many people like me can be fully aware of it but choose it either way. I choose it because I usually just want to feel good in that moment
@@danielpintard7382well the extreme of this would be addiction, alcohol heroin what ever, we would rather trade happiness with feeling good, feeling good isnt feeling happy, one is a short term thing(feeling good) and happiness is a long term feeling or more of an umbrella thing. Not going to school will feel good as you play games at home all day but you trade happiness, youre not making connections witu friends irl, ur not setting up ur future and youre not gonna become happy in the long run, just because faking ill to get off school feels good doesnt mean it makes you happy. In that scenario you chose feeling good over happiness.
As a behavior therapist, I cannot truly understate how well Dr K has guided this conversation. The quality of his training shows excellently here and couldn't be more proud to have seen it.
@@ElitePlays1 yes, definitely. that was the most important part, actually. years upon years of experience in psychology and working with people culminates in being able to ask things you don't know.
I wonder if it could be replaced with: you create your home. Because no place will be perfect, but if you have a place where your friends and/or family is and you are settled, didn't you create it ?
@@autohmae also there is no place where everyone will accept and appreciate you. And if you´re under nomads they won´t be there for you long. Since they´re also nomads and will also search a home that might look different than yours.
Frankly I had no idea who Garnt was until this moment but this conversation was insanely relatable. Garnt seems like a great person and he’s obviously way ahead of myself on this whole “becoming happy” journey, but the questions he brought up are the exact same questions I would’ve asked Dr.K. if I had the chance, and the answers are really helpful and insightful. Thank you both and sorry if this comment makes no sense, English is not my first language.
A month ago in a Trash Taste podcast episode where Garnt was involved in a conversation about sociability, I commented that his experiences as a monk would be amazing topics in a conversation with Dr. K. I'm speechless that this actually happened. I would like to think that the comment led to this, even though I'm sure it's just an amazing coincidence 😅
Lets believe, since Garnt is a person that is collecting constructive advice, its not unlikely he got interested. Maybe smb else read that comment, got inspired and that found it way to Garnt. I Thank You a lot for this Idea 😊
i love dr k's excited smile when he knows someone is on the right path to discovering something, but he still waits for them to finish in the hope he doesnt have to push them much to reach the conclusion themself
I resonate with Garnt. He isn't able to always understand his emotions. He wasn't even able to understand his own anger here! And I wasn't able too. And after Dr. K pointed out his feelings, it helped me to see my own feelings of anger and disappointment which I usually am not able to recognize. It's really helpful. Thank you!
This was a great interview. Garnt's definitely the most intelligent and emotionally mature member of Trash Taste, so it really felt like he fully understood everything Dr. K was saying. Also Dr. K finding out the psychological reason for Garnt liking isekai is amazing.
It seems like Garnt really figured himself out from a young age, great to hear. He's also great at wording his thoughts, feelings and the processes that cross between. I do hear that he's struggling with a question he didn't ask.. (I know because I feel the same way). He's afraid that even when he cognitively (or by the environment) knows he should feel something, but that he won't. That even when something harms his loved ones or even crosses his own limits.. he just.. will be numb. Overly-nuanced. Like someone stealing your wallet and you're being like "ah well, if they risk that much, they must really need it".
Shout out to Garnt for making himself open to this experience and speaking in such a vulnerable way. It's always impressive when someone does so and infinitely so when a public figure does it who are at risk of public judgment.
Wow I don't think I have ever felt like I related to someone as much as I related to Garnt in this interview. I'm currently in college and every social interaction I have feels exhausting because I have to keep hiding behind this mask. I know that I put way too much emotional burden on anyone who I get closer too as well because I simply don't have any other people I can rely on. I'm currently trying to work through it but I have so much fear and anxiety over being rejected/abandoned that it is very tough. I have also always been introverted and pretty much waited for people to come to me first, so I think the last time I made a genuine friendship with someone was elementary school. I had people I hung out with after that, but it was partially out of necessity and it never lasted when we went our separate ways. Edit: I have also always connected more emotionally with fictional characters than real life. The only times I really cry are if I am watching a super emotional scene in a drama, or if I'm in a situation where have to be vulnerable about myself. I'm a woman so I'm not sure if gender plays a role in my experience, but I'm sure there could be multiple factors that can cause someone to end up this way.
Thank you for posting this! I can def. relate to what you're saying, and it took me some time to figure out. I was actually a loner for most of my youth and a large part of my adolescence, so I share you pain. I just want to preface by saying I'm not a professional, just someone who has spent many years learning about this stuff, so if you want practical tips then I've listed them below, but if not and you're not ready that's okay too, take on life at your own pace; I would start with journaling your past experiences regarding social interaction, the types of experiences that make you cringe and instantly shut down and try to forget are ones that hold you back and is what Dr. K would call Samskara (or an emotional ball of energy). Write them down, in detail, namely what happened, how you felt, and just be honest about your emotions, and as you feel your emotions well up, let them, take your time processing everything, and once you're done, let it go as you breathe out. Another thing you can consider is reading books on social interaction (this could be beneficial if you feel anxious about how to navigate social conversations and make friends easily (or get people to like you in general), I actually ended up reading dozens of books, many hours of video etc, on socializing and making friends, but I don't think you need that. The only book I recommend is How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. Just read this book and implement it in your daily life, and the things I'm about to suggest. After reading a lesson or perhaps the entire book, go out of your way to try them out in real life. I believe you said you're in college? Try using them with your classmates after class, or join a club of interest and just give it your best shot. Doing this is like racking up EXP points. I don't know if this seems daunting, but just do it once, to see for yourself if it's really that scary. Lastly, let yourself be you! Ofc this is cliche, but I have gone through something similar that you have, namely putting on a mask and acting in ways so that people like me and want to be with me, but like you said it's exhausting and when you're finally alone you feel more lonely that ever. For that I suggest thinking about who you are, what you like, what your interests are, etc. and just being okay with that (easier said that done, I know...). If you're in college right now that means you have tons of opportunities to talk to people, so don't miss this chance. I left a lot out, but if you have any questions or anything like that feel free to reply :) I wish you all the best and please know that there's always greener grass on the other side of the wall. - A friend 😄
@@niftybaker5967 Thank you very much for your reply, I'll definitely think about what you said and maybe try to find that book. In some ways I already know who I am and what I enjoy, but I've been afraid to embrace it. I realize that I just need to make more of an effort to do things that make me happy, and go to events without being so scared of other people's judgements. It can be difficult because I do get drained of energy so easily, but I've been trying more new things lately like excercising and art with my family since I've been home for the summer, and I think it's helping me build up some of those metaphorical social muscles.
@@DekuMav disclaimer: some of this might be inaccurate as this is from memory, and I definitely forgot some things, and other parts I just have not heard yet. So beware, but this is what I know: Alok was raised in the US, but his parents are originally from India. When he got to college he was addicted to video games, wanted to be a doctor and had generally no idea what he was doing (his words). This led to a serious conversation with his father, who told him that he should travel to India to figure some things out. Alok - being generally pretty unhappy or discontent with his life at that point - agreed. Now I'm not completely sure to what the proper timeline is, but to my knowledge - for a couple years he ended up traveling, visiting and spending time with monks at different monasteries and communities, learning about a wide range of traditions, beliefs and philosophies. He then made his way back to the US (with the aim of becoming a doctor again) and proceeded to get rejected by like 130 med schools over the next couple years. However he did not give up, ended up getting accepted somewhere, became a psychiatrist, got into a Residency program at Harvard and generally became one of the biggest chads on the planet (heavily biased personal opinion that I feel no shame about). He worked with a lot of gamers and a number of people from a diverse set of backgrounds, and sorta realized that he was having the same kind of conversations over and over, and wondered if recording and sharing these talks could have a similar positive effect, but with far greater reach. Turns out: yes. And so - HealthyGamer was created in 2019 by Alok and his wife. TLDR: Yes, Dr. K is into Buddhist beliefs and monks.
@@DekuMav Yes he talks about Buddhist and Hindu principles all the time and how they relate to mental/physical health. Also if I’m remembering correctly, he went to India to study things like Yoga and meditation. So he has some commonality with Garnt in that way
Bruh same... I have so many things to be happy about (without realizing it) but tend to weight the negative things way harder than the postive ones and can'tlet go of them :(
21:49 "Even though you've bought your space in this relationship today, you're gonna have to pay with more unhappiness tomorrow" Man, I needed to hear that! Thank you Dr. K
I think movies, books, and anime allow us to process and recognise emotions from a safe distance to not be overwhelmed during the process. We also tend to gravitate to stories that reflect or give us perspective on the issues we face in our own lives. Great to see this conversation with Garnt, and get a bit more insight into why he's such an isekai fanboy as well 😂 looking forward to seeing the other boys in the chair
Yeah i don't if this is even true or not but maybe it's because we as humans are always wanting validation and acceptance in some way, so seeing a story similar to our life or certain event in our life could trigger that and we feel like oh so it's okay to feel these emotions and this is okay to feel sad or cry about. This could be totally wrong though, just an assumption i made
1:20:00 this is interesting, because I remember Garnt talk about a moment with him and Sydney on Trash Taste where they were about to separate because they didn't live with eachother at the time and it was very emotional for Sydney to the point where she was crying and Garnt was trying to calm her down and while that was happening a fan of Garnt saw them and in a very inconsiderate manner decided it was somehow the right time to approach Grant and ask him for a Selfie😐 while Sydney is still balling her eyes out, I wonder if Garnt felt anger in that moment or not.
I think what was learned here is that Garnt does experience anger, but either suppresses it or fails to identify it. I'd guess he'd have a lot of anger there, but idk how he reacted to it.
They were talking about anime but I think this is just one of the roles that art in general plays and always has played. Stories are just mirrors of the human experience; they allow us to see ourselves at a distance and help us to feel emotions without the restrictions of social conditioning.
This was such a fascinating episode especially the part about Garnts anger, when you consider how he started off the conversation with "I'm a really calm person," it was nice to see him acknowledge over the course of the conversation that he's actually a pretty emotional guy, just on the inside. I can relate. Anger is quite a tricky emotion. Anger is often a tool for righting wrongs, but simultaneously it doesn't _feel_ productive to be angry. Because when you're angry, it's very easy to see through an irrational lens, because your primal instinct to protect gets in the way in situations where it's not necessary, whether that's to protect your respect, ego, or physically. So while being angry can actually be very beneficial and become a foundation for problem solving, it is quite understandable why society shuns angry people in the first place, it's just "unnecessary." Especially in a society that is so dead set on teamwork. I hope Garnt can find a way, with Sydney's help, to release some of that pent up anger more, but acknowledging that he has anger is actually a great start for him. Even just acknowledging that saying "fucking," is a method of venting anger, was probably very eye-opening for the lad, I could tell by his reaction. 😂 Dr. K being a legend as always. Hope the rest of the boys eventually get their session, and I'm betting they will.
im just constantly impressed by dr k's ability draw out insight without being too intrusive or too directive , he's gently and precisely guiding garnt where to go with his thought process, His skill level is incredible. i've had many therapeutic like conversations with my friends about their problems but i always get stuck so many times, i wish i could master this ability like dr k
1:27:56 As a isekai anime watcher myself, I will have to say that they make a home for themselves in the world they were transported to. They're usually alone in the beginning but over time the people surrounding them make them feel at home. Some tragedy must happen first because of character development of course but then they learn the meaning of wanting to protect their home. Looks like Garnt is on the same journey 🤣 Hopefully without no tragedy of course
Unless it's one of those isekais where the MC is immediately OP, has a harem, doesn't actually have to work towards anything, learn zero life lessons, or even gets laid, all in the first 2 episodes. But those are just the overly abundant and terrible isekais imo. Hai to Gensou no Grimgar however immediately comes to mind as an isekai where the MC(s) have to legitimately make a new home and friend group in order to survive and it's very endearing and relatable, highly recommend if you have not seen it.
I am so glad I found this channel. I’m beginning to understand what my daughter gets from gaming and anime. I realize now that I have an opportunity to get to know her better by asking questions about how she relates to the characters and the emotions portrayed.
Absolutely, it's important to be understanding and loving to your kids and try to learn what they find interesting or relatable but always remember to not seem too persuasive with it where they feel uncomfortable or bothered about it. I think a great way would be to watch her fav anime or play her fav game with her and try to talk about it that way
When it comes to feeling more emotions whilst watching media rather than in real life for me. It's because in real life there is an added worry/anxiety that drowns out the emotion. The question of "how should I behave?" or "how do they want me to behave?". This thought process tires me out and turns any kind of sad situation in one where i feel frustrated and anxious more than anything.
I had almost the exact same experience as garnt about the funeral of his grandmother. I can confidently say that all the things he said applied for me as well I felt the same while the I watched 'to your iternity ' where the death of the grandma charachter mad eme feel the same. Its very mind boggling how we shared almost the same experience.
One of my favorite videos of all time which is made by Garnt is "The Greatest Thing Anime Has Done" and I love this convo because it feels like an even more in-depth break down sequel combined with his history told on Trash Taste. My respect and admiration for Gigguk and the bois increase every time I see their face.
The anger conversation was really healthy for me to listen to. I've realized for a while that I tend to only really be actively productive when I'm dissatisfied and maybe even detached and this conversation makes me think that's actually anger. I feel like I grew up in a household where anger was always framed negatively. My mom would get angry all the time and she would always be passively aggressive and it grew over the years to where that passive aggression feels like it's actively aggressive and purposeful. My mom used to let it slip out where she'd say precisely hurtful things by accident and now she seems to always do it without any hesitation anymore. Meanwhile my dad has broken many thermostats, TV remotes, or other electronics he could smash or throw in anger. My mom would always yell at him for it and call him dumb or violent or otherwise make it derogatory so I learned to hold in my anger and not express it. Though I recently realized I can't really bring myself to care about things very often. But this conversation reminds me about how the day I was told I might lose my job ended up being my most productive day at work I've had, and I wasn't worried but almost thrilled to get fired and just thinking "fuck this team" the entire time. And it reminded me of other times I was hyper productive. There was a semester when I skipped all of my finals in college, I just didn't want to deal with them and had hated all of my classes, so I went to hang out with a friend and he told me he had a final he was gonna spend all weekend on, so I kicked him out of his own room and did the final for him in a half hour exactly as he described wanting it to be. Thinking back, I was smiling the whole time, but it was with this smile I always think of as my "devilish grin" where I'm thinking "I'm not gonna let you rain on my parade, I'm not letting you ruin my day." And there's been a number of other simular situations to these 2. I actually have realized that I don't enjoy feeling content as I always end up feeling like I wasted my time at the end of a day I spent feeling content, because I don't do things when I'm feeling content. Now I find myself wishing I could feel angry more often, as I tend to feel fulfilled when I'm angered/frustrated to the point of action. Though, I also sometimes lose control and I try to only do it when I'm alone. But I get even more frustrated from it. I'm still so used to holding back and controlling my anger, but I feel like I'm hiding from it too much and not utilizing it as I should, even for an emotional release
This sounds like a really interesting case 😮 Usually I only hear about people being less productive when simply angry and more productive when “channeling anger.” This is the first time where I’ve heard about someone preferring anger due to productivity in an addictive, for lack of better terms, way. You have confounded me! The only time I’m productive when angry is when there’s tons to clean. Although there’s a change in mood afterwards, I never feel accomplished/fulfilled/rejuvenated/any positive feelings. It’s usually calm, maybe empty, and even a little sad 😑
@@bubbiccino Interesting. Yeah, when I clean angry it also leaves me feeling like "what's the point" after. It leaves me more frustrated. Maybe it's because I can be productive in an almost antagonistic way against an outside force. Like a giant middle finger to my bosses or something like that. Maybe that is channeling anger, or how I subconsciously interpreted doing that. I think I might just be naturally spiteful or vengeful in a way when I feel I have nothing left to lose. It really is something I'm still figuring out for myself. I will say, since watching this video and letting myself get angry at work, I've been a lot more productive and smiling a lot more at work too. Like letting out the anger is also letting me appreciate the good parts more too. It's been an enlightening few weeks
I actually love this conversation about anger and how nuanced it is. Im realizing my anger can have a lot more depth and that is healthy to connect with.
Such a nice human being. I relate to the anger being suppressed. As a woman, anger is not encouraged as it is seen as a manly thing. Good stuff about filling gaps as well.
Its not encouraged, however I think its arguably more allowable. I just want everyone to hopefully be able to get help to handle any anger or sadness. Many well wishes to you.
Every time I've been angry it has never helped the situation for the better and generally it made it worse so over time I kinda just stopped being angry at things or people. It gave me a real big "Sometimes shit just happens" attitude.
being someone in their early 20s. There's so much that I want to say, but the only thing that comes to my mind is... Thank you... I thought I was alone. I was a weirdo for not doing what I'm "meant" to do. I still havent found my purpose but hearing this has given me closure. Thank you
33:40 As someone who was raised by Japanese parents who had little idea what emotional maturity was, I really get this guy. And I've had exactly what he's describing here, it feels like a sneeze that didn't happen. In my case the tears do flow, my brain isn't quite so powerful because a few people in my life told me that it's OK to feel sad and shed tears. So I'm the guy who might cry in public with the correct stimulus.
Wow. ‘Feeling dumb is feeling angry at yourself.’ I never knew that at all. I’ve always thought I’ve talked to myself kindly but I oftentimes do feel really dumb It’s always been an insecurity of mine and now I feel like I know the root cause of it now Thank you guys for talking about this! This conversation has hit hard for me and given me a lot to think about, especially because I can relate a bit to garnt’s situation of feeling accepted but not belonging. Also big trash taste fan here! So happy to see them do a video together 😁
Just happened to come across this video, and since I like listening to Garnt on Trash Taste, I decided to listen. And MAN, am I glad I did. This was such a great listen. Totally resonated with some of the topics being discussed- like the part about supressed emotions & emotional numbness, since I've always subconsciously felt that I should not cry or show sadness because it means that I'm weak. And completely related to feeling really emotional about seeing a character experience something similar to you, but not being able to feel those emotions for yourself/your life. Also was so funny and felt super called out when Dr.K mentioned that some ppl are almost addicted to anime-induced emotion. For a very long time, I could not cry no matter how sad I knew something was or how badly I wanted that emotional release, and when I started watching anime I got so emotionally attached to the characters and stories to the point where I finally cried (thanks The Girl Who Leapt Through Time). But to this day, I sometimes still experience periods of emotional numbness and it can still affect me when I'm watching anime, which is so frustrating because watching anime has been the only thing that's been able to help me unleash the supressed emotions and give me that feeling of catharsis, especially if it can make me cry. Not being able to at least do that, makes me feel like I'm stuck in a box. Anyway- so much good stuff and overall just extremely interesting conversation to listen to. Thank you for the information and insight Dr.K! And thank you to Garnt for sharing his experiences! Will def check out more of these videos :)
I've never thought deeply about Garnt's monk experience but I see that it really was an exercise in letting go, introspection and discipline. I realise it kind of parallels my own solo travel experience in relation to self-deconstructing myself and my life (beliefs/choices/actions/behaviours). though I feel that his journey was very much in relation to himself and his surroundings, whilst part of mine was very "who am I in relation to the universe" rather than "who is the realest version of me in conjunction with my environment"
I really appreciate the diversity in your interactions, it’s always surprising to see how much of the human experience is shared. It goes a long way in normalizing mental health awareness, especially across different cultures, environments and personal experiences :)
I think Dr. K hit the nail on the head on the “finding a home” aspect, the way Garnt describes not fitting in entirely i.e Brighton or Thailand ties in with his feeling on needing approval or to please others IMO, every place has its’ flaws it’s the people that make it “home” for you.
Amazing conversation between two emotionally intelligent men with different perspectives. This is what UA-cam should be funneling boys toward, not grifters, bigots, and trolls.
@@stargazerequiem yeah, the fact that Garnt was a monk and cares so much about mental health is why I think he's less likely to need to talk to a therapist lol. I think Conner and Joey are less balanced than Garnt in their personality. I just noticed those types of people are usually the type to go to therapy more.
This is more of a interview than an actual therapy session. Garnt was a monk and has worked with the BBC so he would have a lot of things to share with the mental therapy stuff, so he has to be the first out of the three imo
@@madensmith7014 Dr.K's sessions are between therapy and interview imo. He still uses therapy techniques during his sessions, but still doesn't cross the line for him to be using his psychiatrist license unethicaly.
Finding home conversation was great. I struggle with this very dilema in my life and it was absolutely incredible to hear someone struggle with this issue just like I have. You guys were great. Gigguk your journey through this conversation made my day. Already a fan of the Podcast but this turned out to be more helpful than I could have imagined.
4:40 I relate to this so much 18:55 and this 1:13:14 This is so much me, down to referring to himself as an alien. It tends to make people frustrated with me because instead of emotionally reacting to situations I go into immediate problem solving and logical mode which people don't really like when they are in need of validation for their emotions
Garnt's formative years of growing up is relatable for me personally. Growing up in an environment where showing emotion is being frowned upon can really affected our emotional development severely
Lately, I've been bouncing between watching Dr. K and Trash Taste, so this is just absolutely wild to see! Like some wires got crossed in the universe somehow!
Came into this not really a fan of anime or adult anime-watchers, but within a minute Garnt won me over with his humble, bubbly, positive energetic personality.
sometimes life takes you to a whole different place which you could not ever imagine. This talk is what that is. Never did I imagine fucking Garnt talking to Dr. K. Imma sleep rn but will watch tomorrow
20:26 imagine someone being a people pleaser so much to cling onto people to stick with them and years down the line the people they've surrounded themselves with don't like them for them but the character they've built up. I've been that someone (Not saying Garnt is that but it just reminded me of myself)
I recently realised that I feel emotions through remembering movie scenes, interactions I had, or events I was involved in: Ones where something happened which actually made me feel something, which is super rare for me. I used to be annoyed with how my brain kept rehashing something that embarrassed me or a horror scene from a movie. I saw it as intrusive thoughts. But connecting the dots from having watched loads of Dr. K videos, I realised that these memories are an inventory of metaphors for feelings!!! This video is so useful for me to learn more about how that works.
Garnt seems like someone who's really good at managing how they act on their anger, but also have issues with accepting that exact emotion to come to them. Which is completely understandable cuz most people I reckon would not feel of anger as a pleasant experience. But at the same time it's a vital kind of emotion to have for us humans to function. So I totally get why he's so confused about it.
Not gonna lie, i was waiting for connection of Garnt's love of isekai and Garnt's search for a place called home and goddamn did it hit out of the park
The part about trading feeling good for being unhappy is so true. I struggle with binge eating sweets and typical shitty foods like pizza etc. and I always feel so miserable after especially after a few good weeks of eating and working out. I use that 60 minutes of joy to further my issues and it’s so hard to break that pattern for me. Appreciate you Dr. K.
It is astounding how similar to Gigguk with suppressing emotions and not finding home... I'm so amazed and have a lot to learn from him based off this call. Newfound respect.
Not allowing yourself to get angry can mentally block you from looking for other solutions, what seems to be the problem for Garnt. (Brain shuts down when about to feel bad emotion) You can aknowledge it as an option without ever taking it.
I relate a lot to Garnt's isekai addiction and his feeling of not feeling belonging to any one place. This interview kind of also made me realize why do I like Isekai so much when a lot of it is just generic, hence the name isekai trash.
Dr. K! I am a first time watcher of the channel and came because I enjoy watching Gigguk’s anime content. As a current student in a clinical mental health counseling program this has been right up my alley 🙏 I enjoyed the reflections you made toward Garnts answers and creating a space for him to think deeper and expand upon his answers. I don’t really like/comment or engage with content on YT, just watch but felt drawn to do so today. Thank you Dr.K and Garnt for a special episode 😁
I haven't watched this yet, but I will later today. I did not expect that you'd talk with Gigguk, but I'm excited to hear what you talk about. I enjoy the content from both of your channels, so this should be interesting.
I saw connor's interview first and seeing that interview and then seeing this one was incredibly helpful in the sense that i see that my problems really arent only unique to me and people can share these deeper feelings that ive had in the past or now. Thank you for helping us normalize talking and thinking about our feelings a bit! 🙌🏻❤️ Edit: always love to hear Garnt's mature takes on things and you guys bounce so good off each other. Very intelligent conversation development on your part throughout obviously. It was very interesting to see.
Really enjoyed this episode ! I never knew Garnt struggled with finding friends and building relationships cause I always look up to the boys and their friendship, and it was reasurring to hear that even he had to put in a lot of work and time to make his relationships work, really helped put a lot of things in perspective. Thank you Garnt and Dr.K !
I love that even the video is separated into arcs Many things Garnt said sound like an anime protagonist and some others sound like the anime mentor, but it's amazing to watch this interaction. I learned a lot from this (and will learn more)
Listen I think it would actually be incredibly valuable to study people’s anime consumption like we have with video games. I seriously think that has potential for an insane amount of valuable and insightful information.
i felt seen whenever garnt brought up how his brain jus shuts off the crying as soon as it starts to boil over. ik im not the only one but it sure does feel like it. after my first relationship ended ive felt so disconnected w my emotions. not bc i long for it to return, moreso the way my feelings fluctuated during the relationship has made me emotionally drained. my brain would shut off whenever any negative emotions would well up. couldnt even cry when i carried the casket of a close friend a year and a half ago. but i cried at certain parts of erased and one piece, to name a couple. part of me wishes i could without having to immerse myself in that safe space. but im grateful im not the only one thats like this
First time watching this interview and within 30 minutes i was getting emotional; i felt so connected about the watching anime being the safe place to let out all these bulked up emotions that been held for years.. and the process of making friendship.
This was such a great watch/listen and unexpectedly relatable. I've dealt with a lot of emotional suppression over the years and have felt emotional disconnected from certain things in real life but have always gotten invested in fictional characters from games/TV etc. My wife who, I've been with for 6 years now, had never really seen me cry until recently when we started watching anime together (which I'd been on a decades long hiatus from) and I had several strong emotional reactions to a few series. Your channel has been super helpful in helping me shine a flashlight on some areas I may need to seek some guidance in
Dr. K, I really hope you watch Welcome to the NHK eventually. I think it'll give you a really interesting lens into the type of young adult men that look to this channel to improve their lives. It's about a NEET that struggles with social anxiety and I've never seen a more relatable piece of media as someone who deals with both of those things. I'm so curious as to what you would think about it and how it would help you help us LOL.
Never watched Dr. K till now but this vid made me realize things for myself too as I relate to garnt to a certain extent. The way Dr analyzes garnts behaviours on certain topics and how his responses threw off garnt (in a good way) was cool to see and made him realize things. Dope vid.
I love this! I watched it right after a video on C-PTSD from 3 years ago (also on this channel), and it hit SO hard. I needed to hear all of this today. Thank you, Garnt and Dr. K!
This was a great talk ❤ I think many of us watching this channel can get caught up in seeking improvement that we forget to accept things as they are and love it for what it is right now. Feel your emotions, you have a right to them!
This video was absolutely amazing, I related with so many of the topics discussed as I feel I embody a lot of these attributes (not getting angry, heavily relating emotionally to anime over reality at times, and the self improvement). Honestly gonna have to save this one and come back to it, plus it made my respect for Garnt grow even more as I'm already a fan of his channels. Great work Dr. K!!!!
Man I know I shared similar anime taste with Garnt but who knew my life would line up with his. This interview def helped shed some light on how my own journey through life might look like down the road
When it comes to the question about having stronger emotions watching something versus going through it, I totally get it. I think a lot of times people forget what good media, based around storytelling, does. I feel like Tarintino said this but won't claim whether he was first or quoting someone else, but a director is using emotions as instruments in an orchestra or as colors on a canvas. You have an opportunity in longform fiction to really walk a person through an experience to create a really sympathetic response. Of course it needs to be done by a good writer, a good director, a good actor to make the audience connect with it but that's essentially all they're doing. You're also able to carve away the distractions that might be around or inside the head and heart of someone when losing their own grandmother. You're not feeling shame at the time you did something your grandmother would be upset by when watching a fictional character's grandparent pass. Though you are at her funeral. You're not smiling and happy to have experienced that little tender sweet moment between your grandmother and yourself, when watching it happen to someone else. You're also able to relate to that loss more now that it's sunk in that you won't ever see them again. When someone passes, it will sometimes take a bit for it to feel real. You saw them last week, your brain hasn't processed you won't see them next week. Even if you 100% know that it's true that you won't. It's a weird situation and might make you feel like you're callous but that's not at all the case.
Least expected and most appreciated crossover ever
this crossover definitely
"HITS different" compared to
others 😎
Yessir
I hope Connor and Joey get interviewed. If they want to.
Cultural cross-pollination
@fabulousJejmaze 🐝 SO TRUE
1 minute in and he's already been called Grant. This is going to be a banger
why is that important? Im out of the loop but does Garnt not like the mix up?
@@classyjohn1923 Just an inside joke.
Im in both bubbles and this is gonna be a ride 😄
@@classyjohn1923 meme that no one says his name correct
I saw it and I was like ah shit
“I think it’s fascinating how often we trade feeling good for being unhappy” bars. Straight bars
I was wondering if you or anyone else could elaborate on this point a bit more. I didn’t really get it the first time K had said it.
same@@danielpintard7382
@@danielpintard7382 I think he was talking about people seeking acceptance by putting on a front or by hiding their true self. You get good feelings from being accepted by the group, but in that case it's not the real you being accepted so it doesn't lead to happiness.
@@danielpintard7382 I used to smoke weed because it made me feel good but in the end it made me unhappy and now that I stopped I’m way better for it. We have to give up many pleasures to build a happy life. We all know that watching videos on UA-cam all day and playing a bunch of video games to avoid our responsibilities is gonna make us unhappy, but even so we still choose to do these behaviors. Atleast for me, I often do these things knowing full well that I’m sacrificing my happiness for short term pleasures. Now some people may not be aware that some behavior of theirs is making them unhappy but many people like me can be fully aware of it but choose it either way. I choose it because I usually just want to feel good in that moment
@@danielpintard7382well the extreme of this would be addiction, alcohol heroin what ever, we would rather trade happiness with feeling good, feeling good isnt feeling happy, one is a short term thing(feeling good) and happiness is a long term feeling or more of an umbrella thing.
Not going to school will feel good as you play games at home all day but you trade happiness, youre not making connections witu friends irl, ur not setting up ur future and youre not gonna become happy in the long run, just because faking ill to get off school feels good doesnt mean it makes you happy. In that scenario you chose feeling good over happiness.
As a behavior therapist, I cannot truly understate how well Dr K has guided this conversation. The quality of his training shows excellently here and couldn't be more proud to have seen it.
especially when asking the gender of his partner !
@@ElitePlays1 yes, definitely. that was the most important part, actually. years upon years of experience in psychology and working with people culminates in being able to ask things you don't know.
@@ogsus5773haha well said
@@ElitePlays1reflective of the woke tomes...😁
@@TheKb117 are these woke tomes stored in a library of sorts?
What I have learned from this talk is that Garnt doesn't just love Isekai, he IS Isekai.
Fr fr😂
we´re sending garnt everyone, he has earned it hahah XD@@Raiyan66.
I thought we settled the fact that Garnt is the MC.
The Protagonist.
Now I need Dr.K to confront Connor with his crane-game addiction.
And his cut scene hating behavior
And his dogwater takes about Oshi no Ko.
honestly though i find Connor such a fascinating person I would love to see dr k take a dive into his philosphy
And his unique opinions
and his hatred towards oranges
"you were not born to have a home, you were born to *find* a home" man that just hit me
Capital 101 ( )
I wonder if it could be replaced with: you create your home. Because no place will be perfect, but if you have a place where your friends and/or family is and you are settled, didn't you create it ?
Also: the home is where the heart is
@@autohmae also there is no place where everyone will accept and appreciate you. And if you´re under nomads they won´t be there for you long. Since they´re also nomads and will also search a home that might look different than yours.
Very much feel that. Finally got settled down with someone in a new place and it’s so very true
You know when they open with "I'm generally happy" this one is going to be an intense one
lmaoo
when he said the thing about Garnts anger I was genuinely blown away
@@elliotw.888 timestamp?
@@armaanb.6566 around 1:26:00
@@elliotw.888 I was actually dying laughing when he told Garnt he's "making lemonade left and right"
1:11:58 "I know he's divorced and he knows he's divorced so we talked about video games like we always do" 😂😂😂 That is 100% how men work
Absolutely spot on!
Frankly I had no idea who Garnt was until this moment but this conversation was insanely relatable. Garnt seems like a great person and he’s obviously way ahead of myself on this whole “becoming happy” journey, but the questions he brought up are the exact same questions I would’ve asked Dr.K. if I had the chance, and the answers are really helpful and insightful.
Thank you both and sorry if this comment makes no sense, English is not my first language.
Hi mate! That's perfect english, certainly as far as youtube comments go 👍 I'm sure you'll catch up 😁
There is no need for comparisons who is how far ahead. You started YOUR journey and that is the hardest step. Which you conquered!
You could pass as a native speaker, easily. Most English people have 0 English skills xD
dude your english is better than the majority of native speakers you see online 💀
Lmao hi ! I am so terribly sorry for my awful English !
A month ago in a Trash Taste podcast episode where Garnt was involved in a conversation about sociability, I commented that his experiences as a monk would be amazing topics in a conversation with Dr. K. I'm speechless that this actually happened. I would like to think that the comment led to this, even though I'm sure it's just an amazing coincidence 😅
I'll give you the credit!
Its most likely a coincidence, but we still thank you for your service! :D
Lets believe, since Garnt is a person that is collecting constructive advice, its not unlikely he got interested. Maybe smb else read that comment, got inspired and that found it way to Garnt.
I Thank You a lot for this Idea 😊
Do u know which episode it was?
@@itzcryptecz1261 I think it was the one named about loneliness or something
i love dr k's excited smile when he knows someone is on the right path to discovering something, but he still waits for them to finish in the hope he doesnt have to push them much to reach the conclusion themself
I resonate with Garnt. He isn't able to always understand his emotions. He wasn't even able to understand his own anger here! And I wasn't able too. And after Dr. K pointed out his feelings, it helped me to see my own feelings of anger and disappointment which I usually am not able to recognize. It's really helpful. Thank you!
This was a great interview. Garnt's definitely the most intelligent and emotionally mature member of Trash Taste, so it really felt like he fully understood everything Dr. K was saying.
Also Dr. K finding out the psychological reason for Garnt liking isekai is amazing.
Which is why we need Connor next
@@markhaus I think Connor had a talk with him last week
Where's the link, I'm curious
As someone who really looks up to Garnt, this episode has touched me to my core.
Thank you Doctor K.
Same
It seems like Garnt really figured himself out from a young age, great to hear. He's also great at wording his thoughts, feelings and the processes that cross between.
I do hear that he's struggling with a question he didn't ask.. (I know because I feel the same way). He's afraid that even when he cognitively (or by the environment) knows he should feel something, but that he won't. That even when something harms his loved ones or even crosses his own limits.. he just.. will be numb.
Overly-nuanced. Like someone stealing your wallet and you're being like "ah well, if they risk that much, they must really need it".
Shout out to Garnt for making himself open to this experience and speaking in such a vulnerable way. It's always impressive when someone does so and infinitely so when a public figure does it who are at risk of public judgment.
Infinitely more so considering that this is something he's obviously struggled with a LOT in the past.
Props to him.
Was not expecting this or the Dantes collab but im loving how much Dr K is branching out with who he has a session with
Wow I don't think I have ever felt like I related to someone as much as I related to Garnt in this interview. I'm currently in college and every social interaction I have feels exhausting because I have to keep hiding behind this mask. I know that I put way too much emotional burden on anyone who I get closer too as well because I simply don't have any other people I can rely on. I'm currently trying to work through it but I have so much fear and anxiety over being rejected/abandoned that it is very tough. I have also always been introverted and pretty much waited for people to come to me first, so I think the last time I made a genuine friendship with someone was elementary school. I had people I hung out with after that, but it was partially out of necessity and it never lasted when we went our separate ways.
Edit: I have also always connected more emotionally with fictional characters than real life. The only times I really cry are if I am watching a super emotional scene in a drama, or if I'm in a situation where have to be vulnerable about myself. I'm a woman so I'm not sure if gender plays a role in my experience, but I'm sure there could be multiple factors that can cause someone to end up this way.
... me
Rejection sensitivity disorder.. Attachment styles.. Anxious avoidant.. Anxiety and depression.. Negative thoughts and beliefs..
Thank you for posting this! I can def. relate to what you're saying, and it took me some time to figure out. I was actually a loner for most of my youth and a large part of my adolescence, so I share you pain. I just want to preface by saying I'm not a professional, just someone who has spent many years learning about this stuff, so if you want practical tips then I've listed them below, but if not and you're not ready that's okay too, take on life at your own pace; I would start with journaling your past experiences regarding social interaction, the types of experiences that make you cringe and instantly shut down and try to forget are ones that hold you back and is what Dr. K would call Samskara (or an emotional ball of energy). Write them down, in detail, namely what happened, how you felt, and just be honest about your emotions, and as you feel your emotions well up, let them, take your time processing everything, and once you're done, let it go as you breathe out. Another thing you can consider is reading books on social interaction (this could be beneficial if you feel anxious about how to navigate social conversations and make friends easily (or get people to like you in general), I actually ended up reading dozens of books, many hours of video etc, on socializing and making friends, but I don't think you need that. The only book I recommend is How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. Just read this book and implement it in your daily life, and the things I'm about to suggest. After reading a lesson or perhaps the entire book, go out of your way to try them out in real life. I believe you said you're in college? Try using them with your classmates after class, or join a club of interest and just give it your best shot. Doing this is like racking up EXP points. I don't know if this seems daunting, but just do it once, to see for yourself if it's really that scary. Lastly, let yourself be you! Ofc this is cliche, but I have gone through something similar that you have, namely putting on a mask and acting in ways so that people like me and want to be with me, but like you said it's exhausting and when you're finally alone you feel more lonely that ever. For that I suggest thinking about who you are, what you like, what your interests are, etc. and just being okay with that (easier said that done, I know...). If you're in college right now that means you have tons of opportunities to talk to people, so don't miss this chance. I left a lot out, but if you have any questions or anything like that feel free to reply :) I wish you all the best and please know that there's always greener grass on the other side of the wall. - A friend 😄
@@niftybaker5967 Thank you very much for your reply, I'll definitely think about what you said and maybe try to find that book. In some ways I already know who I am and what I enjoy, but I've been afraid to embrace it. I realize that I just need to make more of an effort to do things that make me happy, and go to events without being so scared of other people's judgements. It can be difficult because I do get drained of energy so easily, but I've been trying more new things lately like excercising and art with my family since I've been home for the summer, and I think it's helping me build up some of those metaphorical social muscles.
fr fr
Once Dr K. found out that Garnt has buddhist beliefs and was a monk at some point, he KNEW that this talk is going to be very interesting :D
Mostly new to Dr.K but is he into these two things?
@@DekuMav disclaimer: some of this might be inaccurate as this is from memory, and I definitely forgot some things, and other parts I just have not heard yet. So beware, but this is what I know:
Alok was raised in the US, but his parents are originally from India. When he got to college he was addicted to video games, wanted to be a doctor and had generally no idea what he was doing (his words). This led to a serious conversation with his father, who told him that he should travel to India to figure some things out. Alok - being generally pretty unhappy or discontent with his life at that point - agreed.
Now I'm not completely sure to what the proper timeline is, but to my knowledge - for a couple years he ended up traveling, visiting and spending time with monks at different monasteries and communities, learning about a wide range of traditions, beliefs and philosophies.
He then made his way back to the US (with the aim of becoming a doctor again) and proceeded to get rejected by like 130 med schools over the next couple years. However he did not give up, ended up getting accepted somewhere, became a psychiatrist, got into a Residency program at Harvard and generally became one of the biggest chads on the planet (heavily biased personal opinion that I feel no shame about).
He worked with a lot of gamers and a number of people from a diverse set of backgrounds, and sorta realized that he was having the same kind of conversations over and over, and wondered if recording and sharing these talks could have a similar positive effect, but with far greater reach. Turns out: yes.
And so - HealthyGamer was created in 2019 by Alok and his wife.
TLDR: Yes, Dr. K is into Buddhist beliefs and monks.
@@DekuMav Yes he talks about Buddhist and Hindu principles all the time and how they relate to mental/physical health. Also if I’m remembering correctly, he went to India to study things like Yoga and meditation. So he has some commonality with Garnt in that way
dr k was gonna be a monk at one point before he changed his mind!
"I think its fascinating how often we trade feeling good for being unhappy"
Wow, that's really true in my case, I just don't know how to stop :(
Bruh same... I have so many things to be happy about (without realizing it) but tend to weight the negative things way harder than the postive ones and can'tlet go of them :(
Being aware of when you make those trades and what it really costs you each time you make them is a great start dude
21:49
"Even though you've bought your space in this relationship today, you're gonna have to pay with more unhappiness tomorrow"
Man, I needed to hear that! Thank you Dr. K
That's an awesome line
I think movies, books, and anime allow us to process and recognise emotions from a safe distance to not be overwhelmed during the process. We also tend to gravitate to stories that reflect or give us perspective on the issues we face in our own lives.
Great to see this conversation with Garnt, and get a bit more insight into why he's such an isekai fanboy as well 😂 looking forward to seeing the other boys in the chair
Yeah i don't if this is even true or not but maybe it's because we as humans are always wanting validation and acceptance in some way, so seeing a story similar to our life or certain event in our life could trigger that and we feel like oh so it's okay to feel these emotions and this is okay to feel sad or cry about.
This could be totally wrong though, just an assumption i made
1:20:00 this is interesting, because I remember Garnt talk about a moment with him and Sydney on Trash Taste where they were about to separate because they didn't live with eachother at the time and it was very emotional for Sydney to the point where she was crying and Garnt was trying to calm her down and while that was happening a fan of Garnt saw them and in a very inconsiderate manner decided it was somehow the right time to approach Grant and ask him for a Selfie😐 while Sydney is still balling her eyes out, I wonder if Garnt felt anger in that moment or not.
probably frustration for him
It's like that one meme I'm not angry I'm just disappointed..
That is... How could one not see that it was the absolute worst timing to do that? Maybe in their head Garnt was dumping Sydney or something????
I think what was learned here is that Garnt does experience anger, but either suppresses it or fails to identify it. I'd guess he'd have a lot of anger there, but idk how he reacted to it.
I'm a woman and crying watching a movie happens way more than in the same real life situation for me
I'm a man and it is the exact same for me!
Movies can be tailor-made for a crying situation, life just… happens
They were talking about anime but I think this is just one of the roles that art in general plays and always has played. Stories are just mirrors of the human experience; they allow us to see ourselves at a distance and help us to feel emotions without the restrictions of social conditioning.
if life had a sad soundtrack it would've been different.
ooh love this. i think it'll make me look at all art slightly differently@@Ergoperidot
This was such a fascinating episode especially the part about Garnts anger, when you consider how he started off the conversation with "I'm a really calm person," it was nice to see him acknowledge over the course of the conversation that he's actually a pretty emotional guy, just on the inside. I can relate. Anger is quite a tricky emotion. Anger is often a tool for righting wrongs, but simultaneously it doesn't _feel_ productive to be angry. Because when you're angry, it's very easy to see through an irrational lens, because your primal instinct to protect gets in the way in situations where it's not necessary, whether that's to protect your respect, ego, or physically. So while being angry can actually be very beneficial and become a foundation for problem solving, it is quite understandable why society shuns angry people in the first place, it's just "unnecessary." Especially in a society that is so dead set on teamwork. I hope Garnt can find a way, with Sydney's help, to release some of that pent up anger more, but acknowledging that he has anger is actually a great start for him. Even just acknowledging that saying "fucking," is a method of venting anger, was probably very eye-opening for the lad, I could tell by his reaction. 😂 Dr. K being a legend as always. Hope the rest of the boys eventually get their session, and I'm betting they will.
im just constantly impressed by dr k's ability draw out insight without being too intrusive or too directive , he's gently and precisely guiding garnt where to go with his thought process, His skill level is incredible. i've had many therapeutic like conversations with my friends about their problems but i always get stuck so many times, i wish i could master this ability like dr k
@adventuretimedaily9335 nice to see someone interested in that ability too
1:27:56 As a isekai anime watcher myself, I will have to say that they make a home for themselves in the world they were transported to. They're usually alone in the beginning but over time the people surrounding them make them feel at home. Some tragedy must happen first because of character development of course but then they learn the meaning of wanting to protect their home. Looks like Garnt is on the same journey 🤣 Hopefully without no tragedy of course
Unless it's one of those isekais where the MC is immediately OP, has a harem, doesn't actually have to work towards anything, learn zero life lessons, or even gets laid, all in the first 2 episodes. But those are just the overly abundant and terrible isekais imo. Hai to Gensou no Grimgar however immediately comes to mind as an isekai where the MC(s) have to legitimately make a new home and friend group in order to survive and it's very endearing and relatable, highly recommend if you have not seen it.
@@hangry3102 mushoku tensei which is unsurprisingly Garnt's favorite isekai is exactly what Dr. K describes.
1:25:00 Dr. K can spot that emotion is indeed anger, and Garnt realization is pure gold, thanks for bringing such amazing sharing with us.
I am so glad I found this channel. I’m beginning to understand what my daughter gets from gaming and anime. I realize now that I have an opportunity to get to know her better by asking questions about how she relates to the characters and the emotions portrayed.
Absolutely, it's important to be understanding and loving to your kids and try to learn what they find interesting or relatable but always remember to not seem too persuasive with it where they feel uncomfortable or bothered about it.
I think a great way would be to watch her fav anime or play her fav game with her and try to talk about it that way
When it comes to feeling more emotions whilst watching media rather than in real life for me. It's because in real life there is an added worry/anxiety that drowns out the emotion. The question of "how should I behave?" or "how do they want me to behave?". This thought process tires me out and turns any kind of sad situation in one where i feel frustrated and anxious more than anything.
I had almost the exact same experience as garnt about the funeral of his grandmother. I can confidently say that all the things he said applied for me as well I felt the same while the I watched 'to your iternity ' where the death of the grandma charachter mad eme feel the same. Its very mind boggling how we shared almost the same experience.
One of my favorite videos of all time which is made by Garnt is "The Greatest Thing Anime Has Done" and I love this convo because it feels like an even more in-depth break down sequel combined with his history told on Trash Taste. My respect and admiration for Gigguk and the bois increase every time I see their face.
The anger conversation was really healthy for me to listen to. I've realized for a while that I tend to only really be actively productive when I'm dissatisfied and maybe even detached and this conversation makes me think that's actually anger. I feel like I grew up in a household where anger was always framed negatively. My mom would get angry all the time and she would always be passively aggressive and it grew over the years to where that passive aggression feels like it's actively aggressive and purposeful. My mom used to let it slip out where she'd say precisely hurtful things by accident and now she seems to always do it without any hesitation anymore. Meanwhile my dad has broken many thermostats, TV remotes, or other electronics he could smash or throw in anger. My mom would always yell at him for it and call him dumb or violent or otherwise make it derogatory so I learned to hold in my anger and not express it. Though I recently realized I can't really bring myself to care about things very often. But this conversation reminds me about how the day I was told I might lose my job ended up being my most productive day at work I've had, and I wasn't worried but almost thrilled to get fired and just thinking "fuck this team" the entire time. And it reminded me of other times I was hyper productive. There was a semester when I skipped all of my finals in college, I just didn't want to deal with them and had hated all of my classes, so I went to hang out with a friend and he told me he had a final he was gonna spend all weekend on, so I kicked him out of his own room and did the final for him in a half hour exactly as he described wanting it to be. Thinking back, I was smiling the whole time, but it was with this smile I always think of as my "devilish grin" where I'm thinking "I'm not gonna let you rain on my parade, I'm not letting you ruin my day." And there's been a number of other simular situations to these 2. I actually have realized that I don't enjoy feeling content as I always end up feeling like I wasted my time at the end of a day I spent feeling content, because I don't do things when I'm feeling content. Now I find myself wishing I could feel angry more often, as I tend to feel fulfilled when I'm angered/frustrated to the point of action. Though, I also sometimes lose control and I try to only do it when I'm alone. But I get even more frustrated from it. I'm still so used to holding back and controlling my anger, but I feel like I'm hiding from it too much and not utilizing it as I should, even for an emotional release
This sounds like a really interesting case 😮
Usually I only hear about people being less productive when simply angry and more productive when “channeling anger.” This is the first time where I’ve heard about someone preferring anger due to productivity in an addictive, for lack of better terms, way. You have confounded me!
The only time I’m productive when angry is when there’s tons to clean. Although there’s a change in mood afterwards, I never feel accomplished/fulfilled/rejuvenated/any positive feelings. It’s usually calm, maybe empty, and even a little sad 😑
@@bubbiccino Interesting. Yeah, when I clean angry it also leaves me feeling like "what's the point" after. It leaves me more frustrated. Maybe it's because I can be productive in an almost antagonistic way against an outside force. Like a giant middle finger to my bosses or something like that. Maybe that is channeling anger, or how I subconsciously interpreted doing that. I think I might just be naturally spiteful or vengeful in a way when I feel I have nothing left to lose. It really is something I'm still figuring out for myself. I will say, since watching this video and letting myself get angry at work, I've been a lot more productive and smiling a lot more at work too. Like letting out the anger is also letting me appreciate the good parts more too. It's been an enlightening few weeks
I actually love this conversation about anger and how nuanced it is. Im realizing my anger can have a lot more depth and that is healthy to connect with.
so basically dr K approves that gigguk is his own anime protagonist
Such a nice human being. I relate to the anger being suppressed. As a woman, anger is not encouraged as it is seen as a manly thing. Good stuff about filling gaps as well.
Its not encouraged, however I think its arguably more allowable. I just want everyone to hopefully be able to get help to handle any anger or sadness. Many well wishes to you.
Every time I've been angry it has never helped the situation for the better and generally it made it worse so over time I kinda just stopped being angry at things or people. It gave me a real big "Sometimes shit just happens" attitude.
being someone in their early 20s. There's so much that I want to say, but the only thing that comes to my mind is... Thank you... I thought I was alone. I was a weirdo for not doing what I'm "meant" to do. I still havent found my purpose but hearing this has given me closure. Thank you
33:40 As someone who was raised by Japanese parents who had little idea what emotional maturity was, I really get this guy. And I've had exactly what he's describing here, it feels like a sneeze that didn't happen. In my case the tears do flow, my brain isn't quite so powerful because a few people in my life told me that it's OK to feel sad and shed tears. So I'm the guy who might cry in public with the correct stimulus.
My two best men on English speaking youtube! Thanks for making me sane during the war, guys! I didn’t even dream of such a collaboration!
Wow. ‘Feeling dumb is feeling angry at yourself.’
I never knew that at all. I’ve always thought I’ve talked to myself kindly but I oftentimes do feel really dumb
It’s always been an insecurity of mine and now I feel like I know the root cause of it now
Thank you guys for talking about this! This conversation has hit hard for me and given me a lot to think about, especially because I can relate a bit to garnt’s situation of feeling accepted but not belonging.
Also big trash taste fan here! So happy to see them do a video together 😁
Just happened to come across this video, and since I like listening to Garnt on Trash Taste, I decided to listen. And MAN, am I glad I did. This was such a great listen. Totally resonated with some of the topics being discussed- like the part about supressed emotions & emotional numbness, since I've always subconsciously felt that I should not cry or show sadness because it means that I'm weak. And completely related to feeling really emotional about seeing a character experience something similar to you, but not being able to feel those emotions for yourself/your life. Also was so funny and felt super called out when Dr.K mentioned that some ppl are almost addicted to anime-induced emotion. For a very long time, I could not cry no matter how sad I knew something was or how badly I wanted that emotional release, and when I started watching anime I got so emotionally attached to the characters and stories to the point where I finally cried (thanks The Girl Who Leapt Through Time). But to this day, I sometimes still experience periods of emotional numbness and it can still affect me when I'm watching anime, which is so frustrating because watching anime has been the only thing that's been able to help me unleash the supressed emotions and give me that feeling of catharsis, especially if it can make me cry. Not being able to at least do that, makes me feel like I'm stuck in a box. Anyway- so much good stuff and overall just extremely interesting conversation to listen to. Thank you for the information and insight Dr.K! And thank you to Garnt for sharing his experiences! Will def check out more of these videos :)
I've never thought deeply about Garnt's monk experience but I see that it really was an exercise in letting go, introspection and discipline. I realise it kind of parallels my own solo travel experience in relation to self-deconstructing myself and my life (beliefs/choices/actions/behaviours). though I feel that his journey was very much in relation to himself and his surroundings, whilst part of mine was very "who am I in relation to the universe" rather than "who is the realest version of me in conjunction with my environment"
It's the commitment to attempt that happy route that can already start Grasping joy in it. We human love to improve.
I really appreciate the diversity in your interactions, it’s always surprising to see how much of the human experience is shared. It goes a long way in normalizing mental health awareness, especially across different cultures, environments and personal experiences :)
I think Dr. K hit the nail on the head on the “finding a home” aspect, the way Garnt describes not fitting in entirely i.e Brighton or Thailand ties in with his feeling on needing approval or to please others IMO, every place has its’ flaws it’s the people that make it “home” for you.
Amazing conversation between two emotionally intelligent men with different perspectives. This is what UA-cam should be funneling boys toward, not grifters, bigots, and trolls.
Two ex monk trainees. This is gonna be lit.
Garnt's the calmest most down to Earth of TrashTaste, so it's weird that he got a session with Dr.K before Joey or Conner lol.
@@stargazerequiem what do u mean "leans towards mental stuff"?
@@stargazerequiem yeah, the fact that Garnt was a monk and cares so much about mental health is why I think he's less likely to need to talk to a therapist lol.
I think Conner and Joey are less balanced than Garnt in their personality. I just noticed those types of people are usually the type to go to therapy more.
This is more of a interview than an actual therapy session. Garnt was a monk and has worked with the BBC so he would have a lot of things to share with the mental therapy stuff, so he has to be the first out of the three imo
@@madensmith7014 Dr.K's sessions are between therapy and interview imo. He still uses therapy techniques during his sessions, but still doesn't cross the line for him to be using his psychiatrist license unethicaly.
It's not that weird. What's weird is if those two got a session first with dr K instead of him
Finding home conversation was great. I struggle with this very dilema in my life and it was absolutely incredible to hear someone struggle with this issue just like I have. You guys were great. Gigguk your journey through this conversation made my day. Already a fan of the Podcast but this turned out to be more helpful than I could have imagined.
4:40 I relate to this so much
18:55 and this
1:13:14 This is so much me, down to referring to himself as an alien. It tends to make people frustrated with me because instead of emotionally reacting to situations I go into immediate problem solving and logical mode which people don't really like when they are in need of validation for their emotions
Garnt's formative years of growing up is relatable for me personally. Growing up in an environment where showing emotion is being frowned upon can really affected our emotional development severely
Not even a minute into the video and the Garnt/Grant confusion already happened. This is going to be good.
As a fellow second generation immigrant I can confirm that it's literally like being isekai'd in my animays.
Lately, I've been bouncing between watching Dr. K and Trash Taste, so this is just absolutely wild to see! Like some wires got crossed in the universe somehow!
would be so cool if Dr K came on TT and be like "chicken is mid"
I found the first part about being an introvert and finding friends really helpful. Thanks Garnt and Dr K
Came into this not really a fan of anime or adult anime-watchers, but within a minute Garnt won me over with his humble, bubbly, positive energetic personality.
sometimes life takes you to a whole different place which you could not ever imagine. This talk is what that is. Never did I imagine fucking Garnt talking to Dr. K. Imma sleep rn but will watch tomorrow
20:26 imagine someone being a people pleaser so much to cling onto people to stick with them and years down the line the people they've surrounded themselves with don't like them for them but the character they've built up.
I've been that someone
(Not saying Garnt is that but it just reminded me of myself)
I recently realised that I feel emotions through remembering movie scenes, interactions I had, or events I was involved in: Ones where something happened which actually made me feel something, which is super rare for me.
I used to be annoyed with how my brain kept rehashing something that embarrassed me or a horror scene from a movie. I saw it as intrusive thoughts.
But connecting the dots from having watched loads of Dr. K videos, I realised that these memories are an inventory of metaphors for feelings!!!
This video is so useful for me to learn more about how that works.
Garnt seems like someone who's really good at managing how they act on their anger, but also have issues with accepting that exact emotion to come to them. Which is completely understandable cuz most people I reckon would not feel of anger as a pleasant experience. But at the same time it's a vital kind of emotion to have for us humans to function. So I totally get why he's so confused about it.
This is a crossover I didn't know I wanted but that I needed.
What a legendary crossover, my Legend GARNT has joint the team!
Not gonna lie, i was waiting for connection of Garnt's love of isekai and Garnt's search for a place called home and goddamn did it hit out of the park
Such a great yet unexpected crossover
I've waited for this collab for a long time, hope the rest of the boys will also do the same one day!
This has been my favourite channel!! I've listened to every single video of yours. Has helped so much
Finally someone who has difficulty experiencing anger - I'd love a short video on this specifically!!
The part about trading feeling good for being unhappy is so true. I struggle with binge eating sweets and typical shitty foods like pizza etc. and I always feel so miserable after especially after a few good weeks of eating and working out. I use that 60 minutes of joy to further my issues and it’s so hard to break that pattern for me. Appreciate you Dr. K.
It is astounding how similar to Gigguk with suppressing emotions and not finding home... I'm so amazed and have a lot to learn from him based off this call. Newfound respect.
Not allowing yourself to get angry can mentally block you from looking for other solutions, what seems to be the problem for Garnt. (Brain shuts down when about to feel bad emotion)
You can aknowledge it as an option without ever taking it.
I relate a lot to Garnt's isekai addiction and his feeling of not feeling belonging to any one place. This interview kind of also made me realize why do I like Isekai so much when a lot of it is just generic, hence the name isekai trash.
Dr. K! I am a first time watcher of the channel and came because I enjoy watching Gigguk’s anime content. As a current student in a clinical mental health counseling program this has been right up my alley 🙏 I enjoyed the reflections you made toward Garnts answers and creating a space for him to think deeper and expand upon his answers. I don’t really like/comment or engage with content on YT, just watch but felt drawn to do so today. Thank you Dr.K and Garnt for a special episode 😁
I haven't watched this yet, but I will later today. I did not expect that you'd talk with Gigguk, but I'm excited to hear what you talk about. I enjoy the content from both of your channels, so this should be interesting.
I saw connor's interview first and seeing that interview and then seeing this one was incredibly helpful in the sense that i see that my problems really arent only unique to me and people can share these deeper feelings that ive had in the past or now. Thank you for helping us normalize talking and thinking about our feelings a bit! 🙌🏻❤️
Edit: always love to hear Garnt's mature takes on things and you guys bounce so good off each other. Very intelligent conversation development on your part throughout obviously. It was very interesting to see.
Didn't expect a monk on monk collab
“We trade feeling good for being unhappy” that’s an amazing quote that just shook my day I paused it cause I was like woah
Really enjoyed this episode !
I never knew Garnt struggled with finding friends and building relationships cause I always look up to the boys and their friendship, and it was reasurring to hear that even he had to put in a lot of work and time to make his relationships work, really helped put a lot of things in perspective.
Thank you Garnt and Dr.K !
Damn it took him 1:27:30 to mention Isekai, I'm impressed!
Jokes aside, this was an awesome episode and definitely an unexpected one!
I love that even the video is separated into arcs
Many things Garnt said sound like an anime protagonist and some others sound like the anime mentor, but it's amazing to watch this interaction. I learned a lot from this (and will learn more)
Listen I think it would actually be incredibly valuable to study people’s anime consumption like we have with video games. I seriously think that has potential for an insane amount of valuable and insightful information.
gigguk's video has always been an event for my group of friends that liked anime, glad to see his content get more eyes after the podcast
i felt seen whenever garnt brought up how his brain jus shuts off the crying as soon as it starts to boil over. ik im not the only one but it sure does feel like it. after my first relationship ended ive felt so disconnected w my emotions. not bc i long for it to return, moreso the way my feelings fluctuated during the relationship has made me emotionally drained. my brain would shut off whenever any negative emotions would well up. couldnt even cry when i carried the casket of a close friend a year and a half ago. but i cried at certain parts of erased and one piece, to name a couple. part of me wishes i could without having to immerse myself in that safe space. but im grateful im not the only one thats like this
this whole episode was a "hes just like me for real" moment
First time watching this interview and within 30 minutes i was getting emotional; i felt so connected about the watching anime being the safe place to let out all these bulked up emotions that been held for years.. and the process of making friendship.
Even Dr. k admits that Garnt is a protagonist
I would love see Dr. K try to interview Sydsnap, I think he would find her wildly entertaining
I just cried out of emotion to see them both talking (just internally)
Such interesting conversation as always
This was such a great watch/listen and unexpectedly relatable. I've dealt with a lot of emotional suppression over the years and have felt emotional disconnected from certain things in real life but have always gotten invested in fictional characters from games/TV etc. My wife who, I've been with for 6 years now, had never really seen me cry until recently when we started watching anime together (which I'd been on a decades long hiatus from) and I had several strong emotional reactions to a few series. Your channel has been super helpful in helping me shine a flashlight on some areas I may need to seek some guidance in
Never expected this collab 😮
I love when Dr. K starts smirking when someone is talking about their feelings. You just know he’s about to spit bars
Dr. K, I really hope you watch Welcome to the NHK eventually.
I think it'll give you a really interesting lens into the type of young adult men that look to this channel to improve their lives.
It's about a NEET that struggles with social anxiety and I've never seen a more relatable piece of media as someone who deals with both of those things.
I'm so curious as to what you would think about it and how it would help you help us LOL.
Never watched Dr. K till now but this vid made me realize things for myself too as I relate to garnt to a certain extent. The way Dr analyzes garnts behaviours on certain topics and how his responses threw off garnt (in a good way) was cool to see and made him realize things. Dope vid.
i’m beyond excited that they’ve started doing longform interviews again. 💕
I love this! I watched it right after a video on C-PTSD from 3 years ago (also on this channel), and it hit SO hard. I needed to hear all of this today. Thank you, Garnt and Dr. K!
This was a great talk ❤
I think many of us watching this channel can get caught up in seeking improvement that we forget to accept things as they are and love it for what it is right now. Feel your emotions, you have a right to them!
This video was absolutely amazing, I related with so many of the topics discussed as I feel I embody a lot of these attributes (not getting angry, heavily relating emotionally to anime over reality at times, and the self improvement). Honestly gonna have to save this one and come back to it, plus it made my respect for Garnt grow even more as I'm already a fan of his channels. Great work Dr. K!!!!
Man I know I shared similar anime taste with Garnt but who knew my life would line up with his. This interview def helped shed some light on how my own journey through life might look like down the road
When it comes to the question about having stronger emotions watching something versus going through it, I totally get it.
I think a lot of times people forget what good media, based around storytelling, does. I feel like Tarintino said this but won't claim whether he was first or quoting someone else, but a director is using emotions as instruments in an orchestra or as colors on a canvas. You have an opportunity in longform fiction to really walk a person through an experience to create a really sympathetic response. Of course it needs to be done by a good writer, a good director, a good actor to make the audience connect with it but that's essentially all they're doing.
You're also able to carve away the distractions that might be around or inside the head and heart of someone when losing their own grandmother. You're not feeling shame at the time you did something your grandmother would be upset by when watching a fictional character's grandparent pass. Though you are at her funeral. You're not smiling and happy to have experienced that little tender sweet moment between your grandmother and yourself, when watching it happen to someone else.
You're also able to relate to that loss more now that it's sunk in that you won't ever see them again. When someone passes, it will sometimes take a bit for it to feel real. You saw them last week, your brain hasn't processed you won't see them next week. Even if you 100% know that it's true that you won't. It's a weird situation and might make you feel like you're callous but that's not at all the case.
Yayy so cool to see you talk to Garnt! Was really interested to see you guys discuss his experience as a Buddhist monk. Hope to see Connor on as well!
As a huge anime fan and also someone who's into improving her mental health... I absolutely love this!! ❤❤❤