Have you ever tried to cut back on screen time or social media? What strategies worked (or didn’t) for you? 💬 Looking for more tips to tackle screen time, social media, or internet habits? Our FREE Resource Pack has content and insights to help: bit.ly/4fmyTti
@@HealthyGamerGG Many times. I’ve used app and website blockers, edited phone and computer setting to reduce supernormal stimuli, even quit cold turkey. I always come back to it within a few weeks or a month. I’ll check out the link. Thanks for putting out great content.
I've tried to save screen time for after I do something else. But to do something else, I often need a video or at least something to listen to. The reward system doesn't work long-term. Because you're looking for the reward of the screen time and the reward of the task/hobby itself is still meaningless. Can help as a kind of push-start though. I've tried deleting/deactivating accounts but that never works. I just reactivate or make new accounts. However what HAS worked is deleting *just a couple* social media apps off my phone. Not all, but the ones that affected me the most negatively. I still allow myself to use them on my PC or mobile browser. But I objectively use and desire to use them less. The ones I had to delete the most were Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit. They just got me so tilted or sad so fast. I am currently trialing having the Bluesky app on my phone for a fandom account because so far it hasn't affected my emotions negatively. But I am keeping an eye on it.
Timed Lockbox: I bought an affordable lockbox that holds my TV remote, computer charger, or phone, allowing me to set custom no-screen periods. App Limiters: Screen-time apps and extensions haven’t worked long-term because they’re easy to bypass or delete. App Uninstalling: Uninstalling apps provides short-term relief, but I often end up reinstalling them over time. Practicality Challenges: Excessive no-screen time can lead to discomfort or logistical issues, as I rely on devices for essential tasks like scheduling and communication. Alternative Activities: Having non-screen activities lined up helps me reduce screen reliance, but those are often harder and less immediately gratifying. Long-Form Videos: Listening (not watching) to 20+ minute videos keeps my mind engaged and is less disruptive to positive routines, though it affects cognitive tasks and possibly emotional awareness.
Suit up for it! Eye Patch, accent, learn how to tie rope knots, grow a beard, learn to dance a jig, get a rat dog, and a fake parrot for your shoulder. And learn how to drink rum! Pirate parties may be up your alley! Hoist that sail!
This is also for the elderly like me. I'm in my 70's and this answers a lot of questions for me. So check up on grandma and grandpa kids. Hugs for everyone!💕
Absolutely, I am 28 and have one grandparent left now. I regretted not spending more time with my other grandma in her last few years. My grandpa lived and died across the country for most of my life, and the other became difficult to communicate with for all of my adolescence before he passed. So my remaining grandma being as well and wonderful as she is is a blessing. Though I have severe mental illness and going to see her can be a huge struggle I've been seeing her whenever I have the opportunity. I was also an in-home and onsite CNA for seniors before it started to have a big impact on my mental and physical health, and that helped me gain a newfound respect and interest in older generations than my own, and the realization that a lot of them are actually really cool and chill. I liked to tell them about my own life and perspectives and offered them some nuance about their beliefs about younger generations. Knowing a lot about tech I was able to help with and explain different things with their own devices and whatever tech-related stuff was on the news that day.
My 60 year old mum is addicted to screens now, she has ADHD but since technology her ADHD looks like she's full of Adderall all day every day and it's sad. I can't talk to her about my issues because her attention span is simply too low to listen for long enough. I can't imagine these problems are going to improve for a long time, unless HealthyGamer starts pulling in billions of views.
I've noticed this in myself lately too! Even when I go to open a specific video in UA-cam, most times I end up watching shorts instead of hitting the search bar when I open the app. I won't notice till I've been scrolling for 5 or 10 mins.
The craziest thing I’ve experienced was falling asleep while scrolling on my phone then later waking up with my thumb still making the swiping motion on it’s own. I was like NO f’ing way and said I need to make a change 😭😭😭 this was like 7 months ago and I made absolutely no changes
watching this while switching from youtube on my computer to youtube on my phone to discord on my computer to reddit on my computer to twitter on my phone to
Ironically, I've been using social media hoping to find that golden nugget of information that will empower me to improve my life. Well, I've found it. Turns out the very thing I was doing to try and solve the problem WAS the problem.
@@ElizabethL-hw9ejit's a good time to develop other fixations. i did it long ago. i don't spend much time on my phone, only the occasional video every other day. i use my phone as more of a track phone. text call, put down and do something else like sew or try to take some OT. it helps you feel less useless too
I really love that your whole brand is Healthy Gamer. It's not this "Screens are ruining our world and we need to get rid of it", it's acknowledging the positives and the negatives, with an end goal of NOT going Amish, but playing games in a healthy manner.
The way that the platforms are going, it's starting to feel like there aren't any to be used healthily. You have to constantly fight against the push to watch reels/shorts or it'll suck you in. The never ending scrolling and the feed that isn't your subscriptions/follows makes it impossible to use the main screens of any social media platform. They're actively cutting us off from all the healthy ways we can use platforms
I've always had ADHD but I was still able to do various stuff for 10-12 hours a day. I was writing, learning, reading, working on my website... Most of it was work related but it didn't feel like work, I really enjoyed it, 7 days per week. I never had enough time in the day to do everything I wanted to do. In 2020 I developed chronic pain and I wasn't able to do anything during the day. My laptop was also broken for 3 weeks so I turned to UA-cam and Facebook and my brain turned to mush overtime. Now I sit idle all day, trying to find purpose and focus and my ADHD is off the charts. I'm so happy this video found me because now that I understand how dopamine works, I can start building new habits that will create that craving for more of the good stuff. I want to feel that joy when working again, I want to do SOMETHING. Dr. K, you are my hero. You are keeping our brains active. We might not be able to apply all advice but at least the neurons are firing, and that's gotta lead somewhere eventually. The work you do is truly invaluable.
Similar story, posted a comment asking about specific tips for people like us! I do feel like it’s a bit harder for us. We have to give ourselves credit.
Lately these videos are making me feel more hopeless than hopeful - all these patterns I've spent years and years developing while my useful human skills atrophy.
but you can develop your skills by using them. and yeah it's hard but not impossible by any means. "it gets easier. every day, it gets a little easier. but you gotta do it every day, that's the hard part."
Also there is nothing like developing those patterns, you brain will return to normal in a seeable amount of time if you collect enough of a reason for change (and the tools plentifully provided by Dr.K-chan) ^^
Awareness precedes control. Hopelessness could be a sign that you're finally starting to face some of those dark parts of your life. You can't move forward before accepting how much you have fucked up.
with your shorts content alone, you helped me make my phone screen time go from 11+ hours a day to 4 to 5 hours, and I'm still working on getting it lower. needless to say, this video was a wonderful watch. you're doing so much good to the world. I admire you a lot, I really do. thank you, Dr. K.
Joining your words, and also just wanted to congratulate you on doing a great job so far. This path is thorny, and sometimes you will get back to those 11 hours per day and feel like a loser, but you are making steps in the right direction and will eventually get there for sure. Have a nice trip to your bright future
@@sk_lxr2920 as someone who’s recovered from proper hard drug addiction. I can tell you phone and gaming addiction are no joke. They might seem like 2 completely different levels but if you take out the bad heath effects they’re basically the same. Especially with isolation to people close to you and tolerance to a feeling. Both numb you. But one is socially acceptable. Don’t underestimate the problem. But don’t underestimate your achievement. It will take months to reprogram your brain. Don’t give in.
honestly I feel you. I think I average like 10 hours on the screen daily, but the sad thing is I can't convince other people to do stuff with me so every time I try to break out of the shell I'm shoved back into it from boredom
It’s gotten so bad for me that I struggle to even CLICK on the video that I know will be beneficial to me (this one) instead of just brain rot by refreshing my UA-cam recommendations on my phone or going on shorts.
@@avoidedmonster4117it’s not useless though, self help videos usually have valuable information and can show you patterns about yourself, which just might lead to change. Idk man I’m fucked I don’t know if I’ll ever be fully okay again. But I know at least learning about this stuff is some ammunition for me to change.
I think the biggest problem is there's no substitute for screen addiction, given how isolated people are. Most ppl just go from work to there house and back and have very little social life.
Before screens were a thing, like in the 1920's, people had a life y'know, sleeping 6:30pm to wake up 5 am, even though they had to work, they always had something to enjoy the day, just from the blessings God gives us like food, people, water, shelter, a bed, fresh air, the sky, nature and places to go, without screens we are just like when we were 5 years old, i think it depends on your own perception of what is a reason to be happy, and this is what the video is about, learning to enjoy the little things
There's substitution everywhere. The biggest problem is that people's lives revolve around their phones and it's with them 24/7. People have lost the ability to find enjoyment in little things or to be with themself completely.
no i think screen addiction made ur substitution option limited or depleted . its not like there no substitution . there are always substitution to screen usage .
I really like the phrasing of "the screens TAKE the work away from you." I feel like we've spent the past two decades, in advertising and marketing, we've been framing tasks as burdens that we need relief from. And on some level that is true- a person can only do so many things in a day, and if they are overwhelmed then it makes sense to automate some tasks. But there has been less and less acknowledgement of the fact that the work you do is something that belongs to you, that can even be precious to you; that some work is worth more than the physical rewards you get from it, and that the experience of working can be a joy all in itself. (It certainly doesn't help that major corporations have been making our jobs more miserable and less profitable, thereby reinforcing the belief that work can only be a punishment.) I feel like we really need to embrace this re-framing of work as something that is ours, and is being taken away from us. Our labor is being stolen both by our employers AND our entertainment, in two very different ways. The theft of our DRIVE to work is also cruel and unjust, and we need to start getting angry about it.
great comment, but like the other person said, except for the ending. it's not theft, it's not being stolen. At worst you are being scammed, but really you are unknowingly giving these things up yourself. What people need is more awareness and that will build over time as our culture develops antibodies to things like this (dr k's entire channel is an example of that)
I kind of agree on you on the last point, as a student in UX design, there is no doubt that the major companies prioritize short term profits and user engagement than our mental health, if they didn't, they would have had options for users who desire a more minimalistic and less invasive interface, with the constant recommendations and distractions tricking us into watching content that we may like( Dr K has already addressed it better). I only play single player games, and honestly they have had nowhere near as bad of an impact on me as social media does including UA-cam and Instagram, which is a shame because we can't really avoid these platforms either(the only thing worse is Porn), UA-cam has good sides to it with all of the valuable info out here, and maybe even Insta(quite less so but still). The solutions that work for me are the distraction free browser extensions for the websites on pc, and the distraction free mod for Instagram and NewPipe for UA-cam on android. They allow you to remove features like the home feed and many more. Sometimes even that's not enough, but the rest is up to me with what I am learning of mindfulness.
@@Z1biIt ain't. Humans weren't built for that Though I suppose you are comparing it to the average screen time of today, and to that I agree. It's a normal amount *relatively*
A new component of my morning routine has been unloading the dishwasher & Ive noticed that it’s made such a difference in my day! I feel more confident, happy, and meaningful throughout the day just from that little bit of work in the routine as opposed to days that I don’t! Somedays doing it every morning makes me feel like I’m running on the hamster wheel and I’ll want to slack on a day, but I’ve come to realize that I’m always on the wheel rather I notice it or not, so the only thing I can do is choose if I want to run happily or not & it makes completing the task much easier!
This a great realisation! You get your place organised and feel like a better person. At least i think I would. (reminds me to go put laundry on too now)
The biggest thing for me is my imagination. I used to have such a drive to create, such a vivid imagination. Screens and perfectionism have taken that from me. I know there is hope, though! I can still glimpse it, from time to time. I've been using screens to suppress emotions for a long time, which makes breaking the pattern difficult. But I think I'm in a much better position to actually be able to do it than I've ever been. Good luck to everyone else who is dealing with this. We need it. They want us to stay trapped. Our brains are working against us. But we are capable of taking back our minds and our lives. It will be the best thing we could ever do for ourselves 💚
This came at a perfect time, I have been shamelessly scrolling and it hit me I had learned nothing of value and just wasted time. I’m trying to watch this without scrolling and force myself to focus
You guys don't remember everything you take in? Like... constantly, every second often day, every memory you've ever made, everything you've ever learned, everything you've heard, you're telling me people aren't just constantly remembering all those things all the time? Please don't say it's just me 😢
@@fulltimeonfire8536You know, you might have a special memory condition. Look up Hyperthymesia. It’s not shameful or scary to be different. If you however remember only mostly bad and neutral memories it could be something serious like anxiety or depression, in which case I would implore you to seek professional help.
@@fulltimeonfire8536UA-cam is scared of anything mental health now apparently (my comment was noped). Anyway, why don’t you check out hyperthymesia? But if most of your memories are bad or neutral then I’d advice you to seek professional mental health care (for reasons that I can’t say here).
@@fulltimeonfire8536 Why don’t you check out hyperthymesia? But if most of your memories are bad or neutral then I’d advice you to seek professional mental health care (for reasons that I can’t say here).
Actually it makes me happy that someone aknowledges how severe this problem is. Everybody around me acts like. its so simple to put the phone down and start living a life when I've been hugging a screen or other for almost 20 years
Thank you Dr K. Your information is gold. I have 2 young children and I’ve noticed the symptoms you have mentioned are visibly noticeable (physically) in terms of being extremely bored, no drive & restless due to the over use of gaming & social media. I’ve been trying to implement healthy habits and educate them thoroughly on the matter so that they don’t suffer in the future. I didn’t realise how bad they would be affected by this. With your information I’ll be more proactive about it. Thank you again Dr K.
as someone who has played games for over a decade and is still a teenager, my hours a day gaming hasn't changed, but ever since youtube shorts exists my life has been absolutely miserable alot of good games really beat the short term gratification out of you because they force you to just get better or keep getting destroyed, i'd personally say look way more into social media than gaming, because gaming tends to become the coping mechanism for how disastrous your executive function becomes from short form social media just try to keep the nuance between fun and intoxicating fun, you don't want to become that one parent that takes away their kids games when theyre already struggling and suffering
@@Vlek as another someone who is a ilttle older I think it's very important to in fact take the phones/internet off from the kids so they learn to habitually do something else. You simply need to give something else to do, if you just take their phone away and lock them in their blank existence it's another story. humans need something to do, chess? an instrument? a hobby? friends to play with? interacting with parents? every person in the world will get interested in something and grow to find actual fullfilment from it. League rank is fine, but if it's the only thing someone does they become so brittle
@@eVillGaming-eng oh duh, purely playing league wouldnt be good yeah, _but_ if they get their social connections from it and have a blast then maybe its less about taking away that game and more about hey why are they getting everything from that, could it be that something just didn't go right irl and now they try to get what they couldnt get
@@Vlek I tried to escape my real life into league a few years back, I even got good enough to go semi-pro it didn't remove the loneliness I was running away from at all, just postponed it and slowed my mental development now I'm going to uni daily, forcing myself to speak to new people and attending lectures for classes I even passed last year just to learn everything, facing my fears and conquering them made me 20x happier than getting challenger but of course in my insides I always felt a desire to do biology and be respected, I'm aware different people have different reasons to escape and the solution to all of them isn't this simple, I just know that escaping cannot be the long-term answer
I've deleted all apps except YT in terms of SM and have been abstinent from anything other than Dr K and Doctor Mike for 2.5 weeks. I had my first Daydream about the future (in a positive way) in as long as I can remember. I didn't know my imagination was off for who knows how many years. I secondarily didn't understand how horrible SM makes the world actually seem. It's not real, let it go, your mind comes back so fast and it's glorious.
Do you really mean that? Bc I would kill to remember/find my creativity again. I used to write and have elaborate dreams but now I feel like I have nothing. I want to experience what you’re saying. Any advice?
@@onlyonezenn6037 Make a small habit that you can maintain where you're away from screens and can be attuned to your own mind and moment. This can be a daily walk, meditation, exercise... Whatever you think you can sustain. Then find ways to increase that time, gradually.
@@onlyonezenn6037 schedule a dedicated time to engage with a creative outlet that is low barrier to entry to at least engage in (drawing, sketching, writing, painting, etc.) Put your phone/any technology out of sight and out of mind. Then just start. Don't go in with a plan, just start, and see what emerges. Then after, look at it and see if it has any symbolic significance to you. If not, take pride in whatever you created just for the fact that you brought something into this would that has never existed before.
IMHO, one of the best ways to break free from screen addiction is to dive into a hobby you genuinely enjoy that doesn’t involve a screen. That way, you’re still getting your dopamine, but from something real and hands-on, which helps ease those cravings over time.
I have no problem completely cutting off screens, but I need them for work, and then it's extremely hard to concentrate on what needs to be done when I'm 1 click away from everything else.
theres add ons/apps like coldturkey that can block out distracting sites for you, ive used it before (i got the paid version because it wasnt that much but i think i had student discount) and it can be very effective. And if you still find workarounds - you can see that as giving your self a liitle more time to observe your own behavior, which will help you become more aware, which is a small step to getting better. It's just about extending the time you have before you do the addictive/distracting thing and also creating more barriers, thus making it harder to distract yourself and easier to work. Always always make it as easy as possible (and maybe also fun!) for yourself to get your necessary/healthy things done and as hard as possible to do the fun things - at least at the times you need to work, and let go when you let yourself have fun. Hope this helps!
There's an app called "Freedom" that can help with this. It's not perfect and you can override it if motivated enough, but I find it helps me stay focused.
Same here. I feel hopeless. I want to get rid of my addiction but literally my whole life is on screens. Work, friends, school, long distance relationship. You name it.
I've watched around 20 videos on this subject, yet this was the first video that really made me understand the core problem/solution. Amazing video, thank you
I am SO glad I was born after the WoW craze died... all the older folks in my life are addicts to that game and its honestly sad to watch them cripple away to addiction. Even my daggum 73yo grandmother is hooked on it still to this day... she started playing within months of initial release.
@@oSamiSrzo WoW is very invasive in the life of the player. The game demands you come back every day for at least 3h of grinding to keep up. I had to quit the game one day entirely because I realized there is no way to play WoW for a "short" amount of time. I was averaging 5h a day it was literally taking over my life.
The psychology behind this is fascinating. I have tried social media and get bored so quickly. I get like 5-6 post and then i stop scrolling. Especially if the platform are forcing content that are trending/popular. I have difficulty even scrolling if the content comes from sources i have chosen to follow. Deleted my Facebook and Twitter account ages ago and dont miss those places at all. The only social media i use is LinkedIn and still never really scroll through the content. The worst part with social media are short videos that does not really say anything interesting or feed my curiosity. Short content does not really help me to stay focus and my ADHD is triggered even more. I start to focus on other things due to these things feeling so meaningless and boring.
Exactly. I just can't scroll. It's so boring. Also, I need to choose a topic, otherwise I'll likely not be able to focus. That's why I almost only watch shorts through my YT start page. Then I already know the topic. Same with long form videos. It's not like I know what I want to watch when I open YT, but I know what sounds interesting in the moment. Sometimes something sounds interesting, but I'm not in the mood for the topic, then I put the video into my Watch Later, so that YT suggests it again. Edit: I also have ADHD and likely also autism.
@@solar0wind I am very picky with most things in life. I need to choose it myself and not suggested by someone else based on what might interest others. I dont count YT as social media. Its not the same as FB, X, IG etc. YT is my main source of content and mostly channels i subscribe to. I have been diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism. :)
It's because you haven't been on it long enough for the algorithm to learn what makes you tick. You're lucky, you should stay off so it stays that way.
Idk what it’s like for other people, but one of the main things keeping me online is FOMO. When I hang out with my friends or just go about life literally everyone is on their phones. So it feels like if everyone is doing that, I guess I should be too. And when I’m off screens my mind keeps reminding me how lonely I am, it’s too much
Fomo of what? Actually think about what things of real value you're possibly missing out on by not being glued to your screen constantly. How many of those valuable things would still be accessible even if you intentionally limited your screen time? There's a high liklihood that you're overemphasizing things without much value that most people around you waste their time with. All you have to do is question which things are truly useful or not.
I'm still recovering from 10 years of screen/game addiction. I've found that I have incredible willpower, so much that I am able to do a lot of things other people would deem impressive. However, I am still unable to find direction in life and have difficulty maintaining motivation. The internet was the only way I knew how to socialize or pass my free time, and I still find myself glued to my screen even though I keep removing (and redownloading) apps. I'm hopeful, but I feel internally crippled by my addiction.
I also made big progress but still do not feel entirely free. Keep in mind, it may take years and that is ok. What helps me a lot is designing an environment on my devices that limits access to entertainment + doing abstinance challenges for a limited period of time.
I’ve been there and I’m right there with you with deleting and redownloading apps. Maybe the answer lies in finding suitable replacements and getting back up as soon as we realize we fell back down. And therapy, which I’m starting soon myself for the first time in years. Can’t hurt man, can’t hurt
@@pavelsurkov2853 Think back to what you wanted to be when you grew up. Think of a time when people close to you tried to stop you from doing something, and that shook the earth beneath your feet and just drove you to try harder. Maybe there were bad things that happened to you, and when you see this happening to other people…you get so upset that you Automatically take action because you CARE. It is because you care, that you step in and get involved. You belong somewhere. Belonging is the best. It is when you care, that you will volunteer to change a small part of this world. Go find where you belong. You care about something.
for me the route I've taken is going to my university daily and talking with the students at lunchtime, at first it started off depressing as I knew no one, but then when I attended one of my classes and spoke with my lab partner I saw him at lunch, went to speak, his friends came around, we chatted, next time I sat next to them, met more people and suddenly the ball is rolling. Plus, I'm studying 6 hours a day now cuz studying might not be very fun, but it's more fun than staring at the white wall of the library
Not gonna lie, im actually happy that you help me over the screen, i dont want to seem validated by anyone or any doctor, but knowing good people like you exist, makes me want to be better.
I wish this video existed 10 years ago. I'm 27yo and only now starting my 1st year of Psychology at uni, after spending way too much time marinating on a course that wasn't for me. Way too many years wasted to video game addiction with no light on sight at the end of a loooong tunnel and no plans for the future. This year, reinforced by a few friends and pressured by family, I was finally able to take some action and start a new path. It's been incredibly difficult to connect with my peers, who are way younger, to feel "at home" and to manage feelings of being left behind by all my friends, who have graduated and are living on their own now. Yet I won't give up and this video has helped me understand how this whole process works, even if i already had a general idea based on my experience thru the years. To all you depressed gamers out there, go touch grass, for real. Take some minutes off screen to just be with your own thoughts, let yourself cry, release all those suppressed emotions and you'll feel a certain relief as you realize that there is a way forward. I believe in you.
Thanks Dr. K! Herr are a few tips if you feel you spend too much time on screen. These are what worked for me: * Turn your screen to black and white. No colors make the screen less appetizing * Always check the amount of time you spend on social media or any game or movies. Be kind even if you spend hours but don't hide your emotion and acknowledge that you spend too much time on screen. * Have one safe heaven that you absolutely don't take your phone there. Mine is the bed and the kitchen table. * Set multiple alarms to remind you to stop screen time. I give you a hug and wish you all the best.
Perfect timing for this video. I've noticed recently that 5 years ago I was happier, and even more happy 10 years ago and I suspected this must have something to do with the amount of content I consume. You have explained it perfectly to me.
I lost the will to do anything about any of those drives... The drives shriveled up to almost nothing. The only drive left is to avoid people, because they will ask questions and find out I have reached none of those goals.......🙁🙁🙁
If you face people and answer their uncomfortable questions with honesty this can become an immense source of progress. step one is to state the facts and recognize the truth about yourself. good luck.
Truth... I spent way too many hours in an airport this last weekend and struck up friendly conversation with a few people who were also stuck there. It's been a while since those simple questions about my life have been asked. I'm usually around people that know me. It was a WAKE UP call. I found myself embarrassed by my answers, and they were complete strangers that I'll never see again. It's really got me thinking about my goals and where I would like to be.
Over the last 5 days, I've listened to this three times already, and have taken pages and pages of extensive notes, compiled them to graphs and process charts, and have created reminders and mantras from the thoughts that I have derived from the video. Where there was shame, is now knowledge about, as well as a deep acceptance towards this addiction that has influenced my life more than I care to admit. Still a long way to go, but now I can see a path. Thank you so much, Dr. K, this was spot on!!
I think this is one of the most important videos ever published by the team of HG!!! Incredibly sensible and practical, It's a kind of summary (showing the amount of work and maturity) of most of the important stuff apart from the spiritual side of HG. I considered my birthday present from the universe 🥰
This is the best video I've ever seen. So many points related to how I feel about my own life and effectively answered why I felt aimless, bored on occasion and lacking in any real drive to work towards something. The dopamine budgeting in particular was a real eye opener for me. Come the morning, I'll begin living my life with this knowledge in mind.
This was really interesting for me because I actually don't see myself as a screen addict at all (I spend a lot of time reading/writing/listening to music) but I really relate to the part about missing opportunities and losing focus and a sense of possibility that comes with them. I think it's a problem of introversion in a way and screens make it so much less boring and easier to be introverted. Introversion is rewarded and capitalized on by tech companies but, although I love my alone time, I think it can become warped and something that is a fun escape or a way to express yourself can become like a trap as you don't have any direction or motivation to get out of it. Definitely was made worse during covid for me - I'm sure I used to make more opportunities to socialize and get involved with stuff whereas now I almost can't bring myself to.
I want to thank you, Dr. K. You have really helped me. I've been listening to your videos for awhile, but I wasn't wanting to admit I had a gaming addiction problem. Most of this year, I made time to game almost every day, but I was not really enjoying myself. I also had a general malaise for other things I used to enjoy. I used to love reading and watching movies, but I wasn't motivated to start any because I needed to make progress on X game. I had so many house projects that I just felt unmotivated to start on. A month and a half ago, I watched your video about doing a dopamine detox. I decided to quit gaming for two months cold turkey. I'm one month in, and it is amazing how many of the old things I used to enjoy have become enjoyable again. I have been reading almost every day plowing through Brandon Sanderson's Skyward series. I watched my first movie in months, Fall Guy. I started watching Gundam: Seed and I'm really enjoying it. The first week was the hardest and I was very bored, but that boredom pushed me to be productive. I cleaned up my back porch which had been cluttered for two years. I trimmed my trees. I knocked out many projects I'd been pushing out of mind for far too long.
Watching this after spending years addicted to Destiny 2, and finally breaking said addiction last year, is deeply cathartic. Since I stopped playing last year, I've found joy in so many things in my day to day life, things that I was numb to for so, so long. I've met so many new wonderful friends, I've gotten into journaling in a huge way, I just recently bought a piano to get back into music again, and my relationship with games has completely shifted from a numbing crutch for my depression/anxiety/dysphoria to a thing that brings me immense joy. I love discovering new games, and even old ones that I never had the capacity to truly appreciate at the time. I used to feel so lost, so hopeless and aimless, but now I find myself waking up excited about what each day brings. Thanks for this video!
You are the absolute most underated youtuber ever. You have done more positive in my life within 3 videos that no one else could have ever helped me for the longest time.
Thank you Dr K, another video I wish the world should watch. I'm a mother of a 17 yo who has lost all motivation, and I've been imposing less hours of internet usage at home. I'm cutting the 10 hour day to 6 hours and want to get to 5 hours. 10 hours a day really means all the wake hours on it. It's embarassing to admit I left this go so far, but I'm up for the chalenge of diminishing access.
You really are an amazing person. Thank you for giving the public access to all this content. I dont think i would be in the place i am today if i never discovered your channel.
I've never known the direction I wanna go, not that I've lost it. There was no room in my childhood to explore my own interests. All I did was being forced to do things my parents wanted me to become or what they failed to become themselves. The rest of the time was spent being stressed out, trying to escape from reality of parents not caring that I don't want to do what they were forcing me to do.
Thank you for adding this perspective. I've never had a clear sense of direction either. Before I got addicted to screens/gaming, I escaped reality through reading. Writing. Drawing. I've spent my whole life trying to hide from the real world. This just feels like a continuation of the same problem.
Nooo.... My frontol lobe has been rusting for all these years😭 Now I see, I must do all the work first thing in the morning 🌅 Can't be reinforcing all the wrong things. Must reinforce what I must do. Omgggg man my god I'm so happy to be here thank you you Dr. K❤❤❤ I can't believe I've been rotting my frontal lobe all these years😥 I feel so regretful and sad 😭 Thank you for showing this to us Dr. K❤ This truly is one of the most beautiful surprises and choice I've made to aearch this up, thank you❤
i've been feeling increasingly lost these days and this video honestly slapped me back into reality. i saw a future ahead of me that's been getting too close for. it's disappointing but i'm so grateful i had the willpower to truly focus on and process the information here. time to make a big change get back to me and the life i actually want. thank you.
I usually don't comment on vidoes. But thank you so much for a detailed and helpful analysis of such a paralyzing problem all over the world from a psychiatric perspective. Much love ❤
I'm at 18:22 You raise an interesting point about children not giving up. See, one of my earliest memories (despite being in my 20s) is still the fact that the first time I got close to walking properly without falling I walked into a dent in the floor (the dent is what my mum told me tripped me up) and then didn't try to walk for months. I know I was scared of the pain from falling down. Only a few months later when I was fed up of not being able to walk and mustered the courage to face the pain did I try again, and luckily I was older and slightly stronger so I was now walking with relative toddler ease. Not sure how exactly how old I was but I'd assume around 1 and or slightly older, only cared to talk to my mum about the events rather than my age. Anyway, this to me makes me realise that throughout my life I have had this to varying degrees where if I feel pain from something or fail I give up easily. Even before screens were part of my life. At some point it became I don't give up easily, but I kept trying similar things and once I can no longer think of something that works I would default back to my routine and give up rather than asking for help.
I don't know if that's giving up easily. It sounds like it might've been a particularly traumatic or particularly painful fall and you just had an unusually difficult time learning to walk.
That could also be true, but I feel like it’s odd how many times this kinda thing happened. Perhaps it could also be due to a strong sensitivity to anything negative? Like what’s painful to one person is traumatic to another. I know I was, and still am to a degree, very sensitive to anything negative as a kid.
Fuck this hits hard. I had some trauma as a kid but kept going up until summer between 2nd and 3rd year of highschool. Developed what I now see as progressive addiction to screens from age somewhere between 11-13 onwards, and then some stuff happened in HS and at 15, depression hit and I spend a full year being a complete NEET, repeating third year and basically having a verbatim experience of what was described in Termina Boredom section. It has been 10 years and only got slightly better, with COVID resurfacing quite a bit of stuff, sending me into 2 more years of NEETing. Just, damn. This is highly simplified but it literally progressed that way. First, games were the most fun, then came porn and youtube, now even games and porn are boring and am frying myself with short term content, can't watch longer stuff without putting it into background and looking at something else. I most likely wont respond, it's probably time I cave in and store all the screens away for a few months.
I'm the exact same, you almost described my life. I'm almost 30 now and have been trying and failing to get a degree or work for over 10 years now. I also feel like just restricting my access to any screens now, I don't know what else to do.
Thanks a lot Dr. K! Really appreciate how you don't over-simplify stuff. Really on point and special thanks for telling us exactly about the biology. Helpful to know what goes on inside and how all these platforms are profiting off of our human nature. Spread the word, people!
The conclusion at the end in the last 25 seconds fell really, really short! I wished for a last paragraph with more examples and life hacks on how to reduce screen time without the feeling for missing out! Because if it were so easy to "just go out more often" (btw. it's already dark at 5 p.m. at the moment in west Europe, so "going out seems not that appealing!) than screen addiction wouldn't be such a problem, I guess!
Hey Dr. you’ve been helping me in life for about a year and a half now. First with cannabis use, now with screen time. Every day I get better because I’m able to identify behavior and adjust to where I need to go. Thank you.
Great video! A lot of people, myself included, can find it easier to do work later on in the day instead of early on. Could you maybe mention or talk in a video on how this can relate to the concept of budgeting daily dopamine? Though I am not completely sure, I think for me, it is easier to focus on work in the evening when my mind is already a bit exhausted and don't jump around thinking about everything else.
Debilitating truth like this either makes you wanna change the channel or listen to it every day for motivation and a reminder cause its so easy to fall into
I watched the entire video amd with every new point or symptom of this issue, i became more intrigued by how relatable this is. Genuinely thank you for reaching out in a sea of desparity
I never remember I have listened to somebody this carefully and focused during the whole 45 minutes nonstop... Your videos are so helpful and amazing sir...
Future generations will view social media on par with gambling: an inherently self destructive behavior that some people are more inclined to fall for, but nobody is 100% safe and thus usually stays clear of such a thing. Or it may be acceptable for people who can afford it and do have the restraint to not get carried away. But it's only acceptable if it's not self destruction. For this reason our society usually allows gambling only after a certain age and only in designated areas, or maybe not at all. But we warn our children and actively keep them away from gambling. We should treat social media, or screen addiction, just like that. Of course this starts with the parents and not by forbidding stuff - that rarely solves an issue.
The damage is here, so we should use the damaging things to undamage the damage from the damaging things, because in all things there is a purpose for it's existence, although that can sometimes simply show one that some things are from randomness.
Dude, you are something else. I knew about this problem, but I didn't understand it as much as I'd like to and now I do. This is the first video in quite a while that I watched beginning to end, without interruptions or distractions. I don't even want to sit here anymore, I want to get up and do the dishes or something, maybe listen to a podcast while doing it.
@@trinitytythegiftcardguy I think we actually realize that we need information and need to learn stuff in order to get back on track, as we already feel somewhat behind. After all, this also gets exploited, even by not even sinister people, but instead by actually informative youtubers and alike. The next time you learn something about "what would happen if all the oceans on earth disappeared", think about this... I think the "shorts"-format is really damaging to our brains. We don't get what we want, but we get information after information thrown into our faces without ever spending a second thought on it. Or, even worse: not even information but just the 200th cat video. The problem I see is: we use this to "phase out", which we kinda do always when we need to relax. However, we don't feel relax. And as we're so disconnected with our emotions, we just think that we need to relax harder, or maybe differently, and then just go to the next site that shoves these shorts in our throats, as if that site would magically cure anything. And if we even might get our brain to relax, we then go to reddit or X to discuss and still turn off our frontal lobe for a good portion of the time... This is no life worth living.
This stuff is so fascinating and complex. So far this is the video of the year. By the way, remember that screen addiction is oftentimes a symptom of some deeper issue within ourselves.
The funny thing is how it relates to remote/office work. I am supposed to work from office on Monday and Wednesday. I can tell you that the weeks when I went to the office on those days feels waaaaay better than weeks when I had excuse not to go because at least on those 2 days I wasn't listening to youtube podcasts in the background while also playing. The weeks when I stay at home entirely makes my whole weeks miserable because instead of recharging myself on those day I am compulsively trying to do 3 things at a time. That is throwing a shadow on other days as well. I am 35 yr old father so it also affect how I parent my 6yr son. I am so addicted that sometimes I cannot even pick my fix. Is it only me who is watching your own steam game list and cannot decide what to play? Sometimes I am picking a game and the turning it off after 5 minutes. Also I started replaying a lot of games that I already finished and shouldn't really be going back to them. Another thing I noticed that games survival games are really addicting, Planet Crafters, Satisfactory, Factorio. The progression loop in them may be even stronger than hard drugs.
35:21 this example you just gave points out a major aspect that this video is missing (or maybe you get to it by the end, i havent finished the video yet): the fact that SO many people are reaching young adulthood feeling so directionless and screen addicted is a sign that our society is a complete and utter failure in its current state. Late stage screen addiction and late stage capitalism go hand in hand. In late stage capitalism, in addition to toxic screen addiction being actively promoted in all facets of society, we are also existing in a system that defines success by individual achievement and not group support. In that example you just provided, it is ALL based on individual achievement. While this spunds like a healthy solution at first glance, it is also reinforcing the rules of a very flawed game. Human beings were not designed to function this way. Especially for introverts, neurodivergent people, and people growing up in abusive/neglectful homes, this system sets us up to fail. Can we overcome it with intense individual effort? Yes. Should we have to? Absolutely not.
Ah yes, companies are taking advantage of our insecurities, short attention spans, loneliness, etc... No wonder why a lot of people are asking why is gen Z like this, why is gen z like that. As a gen z myself, I'm trying not to blame anything for my problems but I feel my generation is conditioned to seem weaker especially when we are in a stage in our lives when we are easily influenced. I feel like because of the stereotype that gen z is weak, a lot of people from the older generation tend to dismiss or invalidate our feelings and experiences leading young people to suppress their feelings which reinforce their problems. It is why I like to rant or read or watch stuff on the internet rather than talking to ppl in real life but I want to change that. I want to be more vulnerable in real life so I don't have to deal with shits alone. It would be a challenge for me since I find it hard to trust people but I appreciate the support I received from some teachers and friends.
I agree that our culture isn't particularly helpful in helping people get out of this mess and thats not great. But this : "we are also existing in a system that defines success by individual achievement and not group support. In that example you just provided, it is ALL based on individual achievement", I think is missing the point. Whether you work together with other people to solve problems or not, it's completely impossible to do it if you can't compartmentalize and solve problems at all. How does the "system define success" exactly? Success is whatever you want in your life and that doesn't have to have anything to do with what society says success is. I personally grew up in an abusive household and was eating antidepressants like candy for a lot of my teen years and grew to display literally every symptom Dr K outlined in this video. The system may not have come to save me, but I don't see how it "set me up to fail". I think theres a difference between society failing to adequately help people as opposed to actively harming people. Should society be better? Yeah of course. The way it is right now is almost complicitly evil. You and I and everyone should work to change that. But reality is whatever reality is. Whether society is evil or good is ultimately completely irrelevant when you ask the question of what should a person do. Doesn't matter how society is set up. If you want to be happy you should work to be happy. Doesn't matter if there are 5 people pushing you forward, or 5 people pushing you back
@@DSS712 Love you comment 👍 I agree on the fact that individual achievements are way less important than contributing in a collective goal that definitely improve society. Group support is so important 👑
@@Alex-fh4my if there are 5 people pushing you back and those 5 people are the primary figures in your life, then you exist in a broken system. I hate to break it to you. You mentioned that you grew up in an abusive household, right? In a late stage capitalist society, emotional health is a meaningless construct. When our current society evaluates a family unit for well being, they look at one thing: finances. Nothing else matters. Fostering an emotionally supportive environment is not on the list of standards we use to assess the health of a community, and that is truly fucked up. Unless the adults are physically harming children, everything else is irrelevant as long as monetary income is stable. (Sorry to get so heated about this, the USA just voted to have the country led by people who will only push us FURTHER into a finance-focused, emotionally-blind set of values, and I'm really devastated about it.)
This was incredibly insightful and I think the new perspective I’ve gained from it is going to help me curb my scrolling addiction. I can imagine myself abstaining, and over the course of time regaining the feeling of motivation to do things I like by training my brain to do so. In my depression it has felt that this would be impossible, but after watching this video, I truly BELIEVE that I can heal myself from this predicament I have found myself in. Thank you so much for creating this amazing content!!
Hope I saw this 15 years ago... Piece of advice for everyone... This is real.. Facing serious life problems at my 40s due to gaming at my 20s. Focus on your goals... Work towards them and do not stop or give up. Thank you Doc
Actually I was playing hard until my late 30s... Unbelievable the time wasted.. Easy I could have learned 2 more languages one master.. Maybe a PhD or a new career
same.. only im 30 but i already wasted most of my life like this and i haven't accomplished anything of note in my life, and it feels like i never will.. all the employers want young people and i feel like my neurons are cooked already
I’m a self aware person who regularly practices good habits as to avoid my bad behaviors. This prevents me from allowing my bad behaviors to become habits. Out of all the temptations in my life, scrolling on my phone for longer than I should is easily the sickest most addictive mental state that plagues my life.
I really wish this video would focus more on the "how to fix it" part, especially for neurodivergent people. I'm not saying it should substitute my executive function, but kick start it at least.
I’m not saying this would work for sure but if you need to get a task done- start a timer and commit for five minutes. Also depending on the content, if I can keep a video or something playing in the background, I will. Somehow that makes it easier
Thank you, Dr. K. I wasted another day today, feeling miserable and avoiding my responsibilities and the things I enjoy. I listened to part of this video a few days ago, so I knew I needed to come back to it. You really helped me understand the problems I'm going through, and now I feel much more confident in how I'm going to handle myself going forward.
Thanks for the explanation, it really helped and made sense. I see myself a lot in what you explained. Iv been addicted to content/ social media since age 8 (I’m nearly 17) and have been trying to change my habits and actually start living and processing in life. It makes relieved that you called this a ‘screen addiction’ rather than just social or gaming addiction and/or focusing on one or the other as iv had teachers and professionals solely focus on a possible gaming addiction (as I game) and told me and gave me resources to fix that. After this video and recently iv felt that it was more of a bigger issue, a screen addiction and doing-stuff-that-doesn’t-have-to-make-me-think addiction is what I have to change. Like I definitely have a social media addiction but my teachers and people around me *only* want to focus on my gaming.
could you talk about finding purpose and how to know what to focus your time on? It seems like all the dreams I have would've been great for when I was a teenager, but now as an adult I still have the same dreams, but it's way too late for them. I would like to have some more mature goals and aspirations and stop feeling like it's over or too late for anything
Wow. Deleted all my socials by the time I finished watching this (including youtube, I switched to my laptop lol) I've been really thinking abou how much I use my phone for almost a month, even last night I was talking to my friend about feeling like I'm falling behind, accepting the fact that my path is different, but not even knowing where the path is going. I frequently talk about feeling stuck in my own therapy sessions. This read me like a book and I really needed the perspective, thank you sm
Have you ever tried to cut back on screen time or social media? What strategies worked (or didn’t) for you? 💬
Looking for more tips to tackle screen time, social media, or internet habits? Our FREE Resource Pack has content and insights to help: bit.ly/4fmyTti
@@HealthyGamerGG Many times. I’ve used app and website blockers, edited phone and computer setting to reduce supernormal stimuli, even quit cold turkey. I always come back to it within a few weeks or a month.
I’ll check out the link. Thanks for putting out great content.
I've tried to save screen time for after I do something else. But to do something else, I often need a video or at least something to listen to. The reward system doesn't work long-term. Because you're looking for the reward of the screen time and the reward of the task/hobby itself is still meaningless. Can help as a kind of push-start though.
I've tried deleting/deactivating accounts but that never works. I just reactivate or make new accounts. However what HAS worked is deleting *just a couple* social media apps off my phone. Not all, but the ones that affected me the most negatively.
I still allow myself to use them on my PC or mobile browser. But I objectively use and desire to use them less.
The ones I had to delete the most were Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit. They just got me so tilted or sad so fast. I am currently trialing having the Bluesky app on my phone for a fandom account because so far it hasn't affected my emotions negatively. But I am keeping an eye on it.
It's a habit I believe can be neutralized over time the more it's worked on.
Timed Lockbox: I bought an affordable lockbox that holds my TV remote, computer charger, or phone, allowing me to set custom no-screen periods.
App Limiters: Screen-time apps and extensions haven’t worked long-term because they’re easy to bypass or delete.
App Uninstalling: Uninstalling apps provides short-term relief, but I often end up reinstalling them over time.
Practicality Challenges: Excessive no-screen time can lead to discomfort or logistical issues, as I rely on devices for essential tasks like scheduling and communication.
Alternative Activities: Having non-screen activities lined up helps me reduce screen reliance, but those are often harder and less immediately gratifying.
Long-Form Videos: Listening (not watching) to 20+ minute videos keeps my mind engaged and is less disruptive to positive routines, though it affects cognitive tasks and possibly emotional awareness.
I just put my phone in the other area of the house and when I get the urge to do anything on my phone, I remember that it is over there for a readon
You were right mom. It really was all these screens and internet access
too much of 38:00
I'd say it was 55% of it for me xD
just imagine my life if instead of playing EU4 I spent that time playing football with the boys
The screens are only a symptom of what you are feeling internally. Address your emotions first
It's never so simple though. Don't turn around and be one of those tech-haters 😂
"It really was all these screens and internet access" And if it weren't that, chances are it'd be alcohol instead.
Oh, man, why am I not a 17 century pirate with only rum addiction.
lolol
Suit up for it! Eye Patch, accent, learn how to tie rope knots, grow a beard, learn to dance a jig, get a rat dog, and a fake parrot for your shoulder.
And learn how to drink rum!
Pirate parties may be up your alley! Hoist that sail!
@@tanyakilbane7636I don't think this is good advice 😂
@@carlpanzram7081Yeah at least recommend some fresh fruit, otherwise you'll get scurvy for sure.
I think about this weekly
It's like your video's are coming at a time where i've been more addicted to my phone than ever.
Yo same, it’s rough out here I can feel and see myself rust in real time
I lowkey feel like I have adult onset ADHD, but I've never been addicted to my phone like I am now so maybe this really could be the culprit 🤔
Same here. Dr. K has said he is not clairvoyant, he's just able to relate to these issues.
...But who's to say that's true?
@@ColeImaaww😢😢😢
Bro, same
This is also for the elderly like me. I'm in my 70's and this answers a lot of questions for me. So check up on grandma and grandpa kids. Hugs for everyone!💕
ok gramps
My nan is also experiencing a lot of changes too! Helping her with screens vs sleep disturbances
Good luck!
Absolutely, I am 28 and have one grandparent left now. I regretted not spending more time with my other grandma in her last few years. My grandpa lived and died across the country for most of my life, and the other became difficult to communicate with for all of my adolescence before he passed. So my remaining grandma being as well and wonderful as she is is a blessing. Though I have severe mental illness and going to see her can be a huge struggle I've been seeing her whenever I have the opportunity. I was also an in-home and onsite CNA for seniors before it started to have a big impact on my mental and physical health, and that helped me gain a newfound respect and interest in older generations than my own, and the realization that a lot of them are actually really cool and chill. I liked to tell them about my own life and perspectives and offered them some nuance about their beliefs about younger generations. Knowing a lot about tech I was able to help with and explain different things with their own devices and whatever tech-related stuff was on the news that day.
My 60 year old mum is addicted to screens now, she has ADHD but since technology her ADHD looks like she's full of Adderall all day every day and it's sad. I can't talk to her about my issues because her attention span is simply too low to listen for long enough. I can't imagine these problems are going to improve for a long time, unless HealthyGamer starts pulling in billions of views.
It got so bad for me I closed UA-cam to get away from it but my fingers instinctively reopened it and went straight to shorts...
I've noticed this in myself lately too!
Even when I go to open a specific video in UA-cam, most times I end up watching shorts instead of hitting the search bar when I open the app. I won't notice till I've been scrolling for 5 or 10 mins.
The craziest thing I’ve experienced was falling asleep while scrolling on my phone then later waking up with my thumb still making the swiping motion on it’s own. I was like NO f’ing way and said I need to make a change 😭😭😭 this was like 7 months ago and I made absolutely no changes
@elismoovee oh that reminded me, once I woke up and realized I had been scrolling and swiping IN MY SLEEP, IN MY DREAM. 😮
@@elismoovee I know this is serious, but that mental image has me weak. We really are cooked 💀
I recommend using some combination of UnHook, Leechblock, and uBlock origin custom filters.
I've been experiencing levels of boredom that are actually emotionally painful, you are the first person that I've ever heard talk about this.
same but on top of that im always completely alone
watching this while switching from youtube on my computer to youtube on my phone to discord on my computer to reddit on my computer to twitter on my phone to
Is that your brainrot routine? Damm I need to practice more.
I know what you mean. I listened to this while playing video games.
same
i played this while playing minecraft & thinking about a song i just listened to
Bro trying to max out brainrot
Ironically, I've been using social media hoping to find that golden nugget of information that will empower me to improve my life. Well, I've found it. Turns out the very thing I was doing to try and solve the problem WAS the problem.
@@descai10 same here. I’m simultaneously scared shitless but also feel empowered. This is a huge wake up call
@@ElizabethL-hw9ejit's a good time to develop other fixations. i did it long ago. i don't spend much time on my phone, only the occasional video every other day. i use my phone as more of a track phone. text call, put down and do something else like sew or try to take some OT. it helps you feel less useless too
It won't be enough though 😢
dont look at the comments lil bro, pay attention
im not lil bro im 12 😎😎
this lil bro shit has to stop, such a disrespectful thing to call someone
@@SoundQuester you can't do anything about it lil bro
@@SoundQuester I don't see anything disrespectful abt it
“2013 lil bro”
I really love that your whole brand is Healthy Gamer. It's not this "Screens are ruining our world and we need to get rid of it", it's acknowledging the positives and the negatives, with an end goal of NOT going Amish, but playing games in a healthy manner.
The way that the platforms are going, it's starting to feel like there aren't any to be used healthily. You have to constantly fight against the push to watch reels/shorts or it'll suck you in. The never ending scrolling and the feed that isn't your subscriptions/follows makes it impossible to use the main screens of any social media platform. They're actively cutting us off from all the healthy ways we can use platforms
@@Daiwie44 going "amish" doesn't sound like a bad idea rn
I've always had ADHD but I was still able to do various stuff for 10-12 hours a day. I was writing, learning, reading, working on my website... Most of it was work related but it didn't feel like work, I really enjoyed it, 7 days per week. I never had enough time in the day to do everything I wanted to do.
In 2020 I developed chronic pain and I wasn't able to do anything during the day. My laptop was also broken for 3 weeks so I turned to UA-cam and Facebook and my brain turned to mush overtime. Now I sit idle all day, trying to find purpose and focus and my ADHD is off the charts.
I'm so happy this video found me because now that I understand how dopamine works, I can start building new habits that will create that craving for more of the good stuff. I want to feel that joy when working again, I want to do SOMETHING.
Dr. K, you are my hero. You are keeping our brains active. We might not be able to apply all advice but at least the neurons are firing, and that's gotta lead somewhere eventually. The work you do is truly invaluable.
yeah same, as soon as the chronic illness and fatigue started, it was all i had the energy to do but now im stuck ugh.
Same thing happened to me - I got sick and was left with chronic pain and screens were all I could manage, brain now mush 😭
@@annagornas3572 best of luck man!
Similar story, posted a comment asking about specific tips for people like us! I do feel like it’s a bit harder for us. We have to give ourselves credit.
Lately these videos are making me feel more hopeless than hopeful - all these patterns I've spent years and years developing while my useful human skills atrophy.
We get that it can feel heavy, but by understanding the pattern, you're already one step ahead! 💚
@@HealthyGamerGG Yup! Slowly but surely easing off the screentime and sources of dopamine and trying to reconnect with my self 🤍
but you can develop your skills by using them. and yeah it's hard but not impossible by any means.
"it gets easier. every day, it gets a little easier. but you gotta do it every day, that's the hard part."
Also there is nothing like developing those patterns, you brain will return to normal in a seeable amount of time if you collect enough of a reason for change (and the tools plentifully provided by Dr.K-chan) ^^
Awareness precedes control. Hopelessness could be a sign that you're finally starting to face some of those dark parts of your life. You can't move forward before accepting how much you have fucked up.
first (i’m cooked)
First time huh
"Cooked? I just want to make sure- can you tell me what that means? I'm unfamiliar with that, I haven't heard that before" Dr K probably
Same
i think this is the first time this kind of comment has been funny or meaningful
@@realchoodle first
with your shorts content alone, you helped me make my phone screen time go from 11+ hours a day to 4 to 5 hours, and I'm still working on getting it lower. needless to say, this video was a wonderful watch. you're doing so much good to the world. I admire you a lot, I really do. thank you, Dr. K.
@@sk_lxr2920 that's awesome, congrats!;
Joining your words, and also just wanted to congratulate you on doing a great job so far. This path is thorny, and sometimes you will get back to those 11 hours per day and feel like a loser, but you are making steps in the right direction and will eventually get there for sure. Have a nice trip to your bright future
@@sk_lxr2920 as someone who’s recovered from proper hard drug addiction. I can tell you phone and gaming addiction are no joke. They might seem like 2 completely different levels but if you take out the bad heath effects they’re basically the same. Especially with isolation to people close to you and tolerance to a feeling. Both numb you. But one is socially acceptable.
Don’t underestimate the problem. But don’t underestimate your achievement. It will take months to reprogram your brain. Don’t give in.
Any kind of progress is more than the large majority is capable regarding that, keep embracing the pain bro 🐦👍
honestly I feel you. I think I average like 10 hours on the screen daily, but the sad thing is I can't convince other people to do stuff with me so every time I try to break out of the shell I'm shoved back into it from boredom
It’s gotten so bad for me that I struggle to even CLICK on the video that I know will be beneficial to me (this one) instead of just brain rot by refreshing my UA-cam recommendations on my phone or going on shorts.
What you need to realise is that videos are in general useless, no matter the video.
I do this with fast food apps now thinking about what I might want to put together tomorrow
@@avoidedmonster4117it’s not useless though, self help videos usually have valuable information and can show you patterns about yourself, which just might lead to change.
Idk man I’m fucked I don’t know if I’ll ever be fully okay again. But I know at least learning about this stuff is some ammunition for me to change.
@@HM2M360 Damn, we share the same problem
@@FickleTartsdiscomfort for the delay in delayed gratification? I have the same thing happen
I think the biggest problem is there's no substitute for screen addiction, given how isolated people are. Most ppl just go from work to there house and back and have very little social life.
Before screens were a thing, like in the 1920's, people had a life y'know, sleeping 6:30pm to wake up 5 am, even though they had to work, they always had something to enjoy the day, just from the blessings God gives us like food, people, water, shelter, a bed, fresh air, the sky, nature and places to go, without screens we are just like when we were 5 years old, i think it depends on your own perception of what is a reason to be happy, and this is what the video is about, learning to enjoy the little things
God loves you man
There's substitution everywhere. The biggest problem is that people's lives revolve around their phones and it's with them 24/7. People have lost the ability to find enjoyment in little things or to be with themself completely.
@@Banzo_ agreed. Now its hard for me to practice my creative hobbies without that feeling of boredom from the screen addiction coming at me.
no i think screen addiction made ur substitution option limited or depleted . its not like there no substitution . there are always substitution to screen usage .
I really like the phrasing of "the screens TAKE the work away from you." I feel like we've spent the past two decades, in advertising and marketing, we've been framing tasks as burdens that we need relief from. And on some level that is true- a person can only do so many things in a day, and if they are overwhelmed then it makes sense to automate some tasks. But there has been less and less acknowledgement of the fact that the work you do is something that belongs to you, that can even be precious to you; that some work is worth more than the physical rewards you get from it, and that the experience of working can be a joy all in itself. (It certainly doesn't help that major corporations have been making our jobs more miserable and less profitable, thereby reinforcing the belief that work can only be a punishment.) I feel like we really need to embrace this re-framing of work as something that is ours, and is being taken away from us. Our labor is being stolen both by our employers AND our entertainment, in two very different ways. The theft of our DRIVE to work is also cruel and unjust, and we need to start getting angry about it.
Minus the last remark on getting angry, loved the comment ❤
great comment, but like the other person said, except for the ending. it's not theft, it's not being stolen. At worst you are being scammed, but really you are unknowingly giving these things up yourself. What people need is more awareness and that will build over time as our culture develops antibodies to things like this (dr k's entire channel is an example of that)
Excellent commentary and perspective!
i am very angry about it and people don't care about things like UA-cam OPENING DIRECTLY SHOWING SHORTS it's SICK and I hate it
I kind of agree on you on the last point, as a student in UX design, there is no doubt that the major companies prioritize short term profits and user engagement than our mental health, if they didn't, they would have had options for users who desire a more minimalistic and less invasive interface, with the constant recommendations and distractions tricking us into watching content that we may like( Dr K has already addressed it better). I only play single player games, and honestly they have had nowhere near as bad of an impact on me as social media does including UA-cam and Instagram, which is a shame because we can't really avoid these platforms either(the only thing worse is Porn), UA-cam has good sides to it with all of the valuable info out here, and maybe even Insta(quite less so but still). The solutions that work for me are the distraction free browser extensions for the websites on pc, and the distraction free mod for Instagram and NewPipe for UA-cam on android. They allow you to remove features like the home feed and many more. Sometimes even that's not enough, but the rest is up to me with what I am learning of mindfulness.
My phone screen time is only 2 hours a day, yet 80% is that when I'm in bed before sleep
@@jamielewisstax it's pretty fine actually
@@Z1biIt ain't. Humans weren't built for that
Though I suppose you are comparing it to the average screen time of today, and to that I agree. It's a normal amount *relatively*
that doesnt affect your sleep at night ? then i think its fine ..
@@kuriyama-d4ci'm sure it affects it on a cellular level. just doesn't bother her or doesn't seem to impede her life
Bruh mine is 8 hours during a normal day of college and it reaches 15 when there is a holiday
A new component of my morning routine has been unloading the dishwasher & Ive noticed that it’s made such a difference in my day! I feel more confident, happy, and meaningful throughout the day just from that little bit of work in the routine as opposed to days that I don’t!
Somedays doing it every morning makes me feel like I’m running on the hamster wheel and I’ll want to slack on a day, but I’ve come to realize that I’m always on the wheel rather I notice it or not, so the only thing I can do is choose if I want to run happily or not & it makes completing the task much easier!
This a great realisation! You get your place organised and feel like a better person. At least i think I would. (reminds me to go put laundry on too now)
That’s genuinely genius advice. With a pure jem of wisdom on top! Thanks for sharing. I’m going to try that when I next wake up
"I’ve come to realize that I’m always on the wheel rather I notice it or not"
The biggest thing for me is my imagination. I used to have such a drive to create, such a vivid imagination. Screens and perfectionism have taken that from me. I know there is hope, though! I can still glimpse it, from time to time. I've been using screens to suppress emotions for a long time, which makes breaking the pattern difficult. But I think I'm in a much better position to actually be able to do it than I've ever been.
Good luck to everyone else who is dealing with this. We need it. They want us to stay trapped. Our brains are working against us. But we are capable of taking back our minds and our lives. It will be the best thing we could ever do for ourselves 💚
i used to daydream all the time i miss it so much. what's helping a lot for me is just listening to music and seeing the world around me
This came at a perfect time, I have been shamelessly scrolling and it hit me I had learned nothing of value and just wasted time. I’m trying to watch this without scrolling and force myself to focus
When I realized that I don't remember 99% of the things I scroll past, I knew there was a problem.
You guys don't remember everything you take in? Like... constantly, every second often day, every memory you've ever made, everything you've ever learned, everything you've heard, you're telling me people aren't just constantly remembering all those things all the time? Please don't say it's just me 😢
@@fulltimeonfire8536You know, you might have a special memory condition. Look up Hyperthymesia. It’s not shameful or scary to be different. If you however remember only mostly bad and neutral memories it could be something serious like anxiety or depression, in which case I would implore you to seek professional help.
@@fulltimeonfire8536UA-cam is scared of anything mental health now apparently (my comment was noped). Anyway, why don’t you check out hyperthymesia? But if most of your memories are bad or neutral then I’d advice you to seek professional mental health care (for reasons that I can’t say here).
@@fulltimeonfire8536 Why don’t you check out hyperthymesia? But if most of your memories are bad or neutral then I’d advice you to seek professional mental health care (for reasons that I can’t say here).
As a Korean Dr.K fan. These kind of video have to be spread all over the world, especially Eastern Asia. Thank you Dr.K.
Actually it makes me happy that someone aknowledges how severe this problem is. Everybody around me acts like. its so simple to put the phone down and start living a life when I've been hugging a screen or other for almost 20 years
Thank you Dr K. Your information is gold. I have 2 young children and I’ve noticed the symptoms you have mentioned are visibly noticeable (physically) in terms of being extremely bored, no drive & restless due to the over use of gaming & social media. I’ve been trying to implement healthy habits and educate them thoroughly on the matter so that they don’t suffer in the future. I didn’t realise how bad they would be affected by this. With your information I’ll be more proactive about it. Thank you again Dr K.
as someone who has played games for over a decade and is still a teenager, my hours a day gaming hasn't changed, but ever since youtube shorts exists my life has been absolutely miserable
alot of good games really beat the short term gratification out of you because they force you to just get better or keep getting destroyed, i'd personally say look way more into social media than gaming, because gaming tends to become the coping mechanism for how disastrous your executive function becomes from short form social media
just try to keep the nuance between fun and intoxicating fun, you don't want to become that one parent that takes away their kids games when theyre already struggling and suffering
young children i assume are
@@Vlek as another someone who is a ilttle older I think it's very important to in fact take the phones/internet off from the kids so they learn to habitually do something else.
You simply need to give something else to do, if you just take their phone away and lock them in their blank existence it's another story.
humans need something to do, chess? an instrument? a hobby? friends to play with? interacting with parents? every person in the world will get interested in something and grow to find actual fullfilment from it.
League rank is fine, but if it's the only thing someone does they become so brittle
@@eVillGaming-eng oh duh, purely playing league wouldnt be good yeah, _but_ if they get their social connections from it and have a blast then maybe its less about taking away that game and more about hey why are they getting everything from that, could it be that something just didn't go right irl and now they try to get what they couldnt get
@@Vlek I tried to escape my real life into league a few years back, I even got good enough to go semi-pro
it didn't remove the loneliness I was running away from at all, just postponed it and slowed my mental development
now I'm going to uni daily, forcing myself to speak to new people and attending lectures for classes I even passed last year just to learn everything, facing my fears and conquering them made me 20x happier than getting challenger
but of course in my insides I always felt a desire to do biology and be respected, I'm aware different people have different reasons to escape and the solution to all of them isn't this simple, I just know that escaping cannot be the long-term answer
I've deleted all apps except YT in terms of SM and have been abstinent from anything other than Dr K and Doctor Mike for 2.5 weeks. I had my first Daydream about the future (in a positive way) in as long as I can remember. I didn't know my imagination was off for who knows how many years. I secondarily didn't understand how horrible SM makes the world actually seem. It's not real, let it go, your mind comes back so fast and it's glorious.
@hdusten - That's It! I can't daydream and my imagination is quashed. Thanks for the insight.
ok i need to try this - i forgot about postive daydreams completely which is wild
Do you really mean that? Bc I would kill to remember/find my creativity again. I used to write and have elaborate dreams but now I feel like I have nothing. I want to experience what you’re saying. Any advice?
@@onlyonezenn6037 Make a small habit that you can maintain where you're away from screens and can be attuned to your own mind and moment. This can be a daily walk, meditation, exercise... Whatever you think you can sustain. Then find ways to increase that time, gradually.
@@onlyonezenn6037 schedule a dedicated time to engage with a creative outlet that is low barrier to entry to at least engage in (drawing, sketching, writing, painting, etc.) Put your phone/any technology out of sight and out of mind. Then just start. Don't go in with a plan, just start, and see what emerges.
Then after, look at it and see if it has any symbolic significance to you. If not, take pride in whatever you created just for the fact that you brought something into this would that has never existed before.
IMHO, one of the best ways to break free from screen addiction is to dive into a hobby you genuinely enjoy that doesn’t involve a screen. That way, you’re still getting your dopamine, but from something real and hands-on, which helps ease those cravings over time.
I have no problem completely cutting off screens, but I need them for work, and then it's extremely hard to concentrate on what needs to be done when I'm 1 click away from everything else.
Exactly! How can an addict resist when their drug of choice is right in front of them? What are we supposed to do?
theres add ons/apps like coldturkey that can block out distracting sites for you, ive used it before (i got the paid version because it wasnt that much but i think i had student discount) and it can be very effective. And if you still find workarounds - you can see that as giving your self a liitle more time to observe your own behavior, which will help you become more aware, which is a small step to getting better. It's just about extending the time you have before you do the addictive/distracting thing and also creating more barriers, thus making it harder to distract yourself and easier to work. Always always make it as easy as possible (and maybe also fun!) for yourself to get your necessary/healthy things done and as hard as possible to do the fun things - at least at the times you need to work, and let go when you let yourself have fun. Hope this helps!
There's an app called "Freedom" that can help with this. It's not perfect and you can override it if motivated enough, but I find it helps me stay focused.
Same here. I feel hopeless. I want to get rid of my addiction but literally my whole life is on screens. Work, friends, school, long distance relationship. You name it.
I've watched around 20 videos on this subject, yet this was the first video that really made me understand the core problem/solution. Amazing video, thank you
played WOW for 20 years (34yo)... time is relative for the addict. we are so outside of ourselves and so disconnected.. it's scary
Same man, almost 33, played wow since 2008
I am SO glad I was born after the WoW craze died... all the older folks in my life are addicts to that game and its honestly sad to watch them cripple away to addiction. Even my daggum 73yo grandmother is hooked on it still to this day... she started playing within months of initial release.
@@oSamiSrzo WoW is very invasive in the life of the player. The game demands you come back every day for at least 3h of grinding to keep up. I had to quit the game one day entirely because I realized there is no way to play WoW for a "short" amount of time. I was averaging 5h a day it was literally taking over my life.
Played since launch... still logging on for hours every day
@@veryberry100Nah, you need 1-2 evenings to raid
The psychology behind this is fascinating. I have tried social media and get bored so quickly. I get like 5-6 post and then i stop scrolling. Especially if the platform are forcing content that are trending/popular. I have difficulty even scrolling if the content comes from sources i have chosen to follow. Deleted my Facebook and Twitter account ages ago and dont miss those places at all. The only social media i use is LinkedIn and still never really scroll through the content.
The worst part with social media are short videos that does not really say anything interesting or feed my curiosity. Short content does not really help me to stay focus and my ADHD is triggered even more. I start to focus on other things due to these things feeling so meaningless and boring.
Exactly. I just can't scroll. It's so boring. Also, I need to choose a topic, otherwise I'll likely not be able to focus. That's why I almost only watch shorts through my YT start page. Then I already know the topic. Same with long form videos. It's not like I know what I want to watch when I open YT, but I know what sounds interesting in the moment. Sometimes something sounds interesting, but I'm not in the mood for the topic, then I put the video into my Watch Later, so that YT suggests it again.
Edit: I also have ADHD and likely also autism.
@@solar0wind I am very picky with most things in life. I need to choose it myself and not suggested by someone else based on what might interest others.
I dont count YT as social media. Its not the same as FB, X, IG etc. YT is my main source of content and mostly channels i subscribe to.
I have been diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism. :)
Damn I wanna be autistic now too
It's because you haven't been on it long enough for the algorithm to learn what makes you tick. You're lucky, you should stay off so it stays that way.
@@descai10 this, lol. Keep on not feeding the algorithm you're doing fine
Idk what it’s like for other people, but one of the main things keeping me online is FOMO. When I hang out with my friends or just go about life literally everyone is on their phones. So it feels like if everyone is doing that, I guess I should be too. And when I’m off screens my mind keeps reminding me how lonely I am, it’s too much
Fomo of what? Actually think about what things of real value you're possibly missing out on by not being glued to your screen constantly. How many of those valuable things would still be accessible even if you intentionally limited your screen time? There's a high liklihood that you're overemphasizing things without much value that most people around you waste their time with. All you have to do is question which things are truly useful or not.
For me interestingly, seeing others being on their phones is an eyeopener that that's something I should not partake in
Hey
bro's gonna miss out on hawk tuah, oh no.
Same here. And even if you see them and person and aren’t on your phone, you may not be in on the relevant jokes or memes of the time. It’s so hard
best video i've ever seen in 23 years, dr k has this incredible ability to understand young guys in the modern world. thanks
I'm still recovering from 10 years of screen/game addiction. I've found that I have incredible willpower, so much that I am able to do a lot of things other people would deem impressive. However, I am still unable to find direction in life and have difficulty maintaining motivation. The internet was the only way I knew how to socialize or pass my free time, and I still find myself glued to my screen even though I keep removing (and redownloading) apps. I'm hopeful, but I feel internally crippled by my addiction.
That's just part of the process. Eventually, you will start to notice those aspects of you returning.
I also made big progress but still do not feel entirely free. Keep in mind, it may take years and that is ok. What helps me a lot is designing an environment on my devices that limits access to entertainment + doing abstinance challenges for a limited period of time.
I’ve been there and I’m right there with you with deleting and redownloading apps. Maybe the answer lies in finding suitable replacements and getting back up as soon as we realize we fell back down. And therapy, which I’m starting soon myself for the first time in years. Can’t hurt man, can’t hurt
@@pavelsurkov2853 Think back to what you wanted to be when you grew up. Think of a time when people close to you tried to stop you from doing something, and that shook the earth beneath your feet and just drove you to try harder. Maybe there were bad things that happened to you, and when you see this happening to other people…you get so upset that you Automatically take action because you CARE. It is because you care, that you step in and get involved.
You belong somewhere. Belonging is the best. It is when you care, that you will volunteer to change a small part of this world. Go find where you belong. You care about something.
for me the route I've taken is going to my university daily and talking with the students at lunchtime, at first it started off depressing as I knew no one, but then when I attended one of my classes and spoke with my lab partner I saw him at lunch, went to speak, his friends came around, we chatted, next time I sat next to them, met more people and suddenly the ball is rolling.
Plus, I'm studying 6 hours a day now cuz studying might not be very fun, but it's more fun than staring at the white wall of the library
Not gonna lie, im actually happy that you help me over the screen, i dont want to seem validated by anyone or any doctor, but knowing good people like you exist, makes me want to be better.
I wish this video existed 10 years ago. I'm 27yo and only now starting my 1st year of Psychology at uni, after spending way too much time marinating on a course that wasn't for me.
Way too many years wasted to video game addiction with no light on sight at the end of a loooong tunnel and no plans for the future.
This year, reinforced by a few friends and pressured by family, I was finally able to take some action and start a new path. It's been incredibly difficult to connect with my peers, who are way younger, to feel "at home" and to manage feelings of being left behind by all my friends, who have graduated and are living on their own now.
Yet I won't give up and this video has helped me understand how this whole process works, even if i already had a general idea based on my experience thru the years.
To all you depressed gamers out there, go touch grass, for real. Take some minutes off screen to just be with your own thoughts, let yourself cry, release all those suppressed emotions and you'll feel a certain relief as you realize that there is a way forward.
I believe in you.
Thanks Dr. K! Herr are a few tips if you feel you spend too much time on screen. These are what worked for me:
* Turn your screen to black and white. No colors make the screen less appetizing
* Always check the amount of time you spend on social media or any game or movies. Be kind even if you spend hours but don't hide your emotion and acknowledge that you spend too much time on screen.
* Have one safe heaven that you absolutely don't take your phone there. Mine is the bed and the kitchen table.
* Set multiple alarms to remind you to stop screen time.
I give you a hug and wish you all the best.
the black and white one sounds interesting, ill give it a try! thanks
38:00 GIMME THE CONTENT
@@teimozzy came down here to comment this very thing.
Content Goblin
the most cursed Dr. K face ive ever seen for sure
Freaky ahh DR. K 💀
😂😂😂
Perfect timing for this video. I've noticed recently that 5 years ago I was happier, and even more happy 10 years ago and I suspected this must have something to do with the amount of content I consume. You have explained it perfectly to me.
same here, years ago I rarely used my phone and was quite present in life.
I lost the will to do anything about any of those drives... The drives shriveled up to almost nothing. The only drive left is to avoid people, because they will ask questions and find out I have reached none of those goals.......🙁🙁🙁
If you face people and answer their uncomfortable questions with honesty this can become an immense source of progress. step one is to state the facts and recognize the truth about yourself. good luck.
Truth... I spent way too many hours in an airport this last weekend and struck up friendly conversation with a few people who were also stuck there. It's been a while since those simple questions about my life have been asked. I'm usually around people that know me. It was a WAKE UP call. I found myself embarrassed by my answers, and they were complete strangers that I'll never see again. It's really got me thinking about my goals and where I would like to be.
I like how you publish these at night/late night time. Well targeted.
Bro doesn't know what timezones are
@MysticRL It was night time in most of the Americas, late night in Europe.
I'm in Cambodia bruh lol. World doesn't revolve around the USA lol
@@bee3092audience wise it literally does lmao
This might be one of those most important topics addressed for our generation. Convenience and efficiency have costed us our minds and bodies.
@@latteARCH don't worry, they'll come up with a pill to make it all better, right?
Over the last 5 days, I've listened to this three times already, and have taken pages and pages of extensive notes, compiled them to graphs and process charts, and have created reminders and mantras from the thoughts that I have derived from the video. Where there was shame, is now knowledge about, as well as a deep acceptance towards this addiction that has influenced my life more than I care to admit. Still a long way to go, but now I can see a path. Thank you so much, Dr. K, this was spot on!!
Would you be interested in sharing your notes? 🥹 No worries if not
same i have taken jotes about his stuff too . like how to deal with megative emotions etc ..
I think this is one of the most important videos ever published by the team of HG!!! Incredibly sensible and practical, It's a kind of summary (showing the amount of work and maturity) of most of the important stuff apart from the spiritual side of HG. I considered my birthday present from the universe 🥰
I just want to thank you, I am in deep mess and I don't know how to come out of it but hearing you make me feel better.
Thank you, Dr. K. A very informative video, once again. Hekped me, even though this is something I didn't want to hear.
This is the best video I've ever seen. So many points related to how I feel about my own life and effectively answered why I felt aimless, bored on occasion and lacking in any real drive to work towards something. The dopamine budgeting in particular was a real eye opener for me. Come the morning, I'll begin living my life with this knowledge in mind.
This was really interesting for me because I actually don't see myself as a screen addict at all (I spend a lot of time reading/writing/listening to music) but I really relate to the part about missing opportunities and losing focus and a sense of possibility that comes with them. I think it's a problem of introversion in a way and screens make it so much less boring and easier to be introverted. Introversion is rewarded and capitalized on by tech companies but, although I love my alone time, I think it can become warped and something that is a fun escape or a way to express yourself can become like a trap as you don't have any direction or motivation to get out of it. Definitely was made worse during covid for me - I'm sure I used to make more opportunities to socialize and get involved with stuff whereas now I almost can't bring myself to.
The problem is that the normal situation of introversion is a distance from the group, and an aversion to leaving/joining new groups.
I want to thank you, Dr. K. You have really helped me. I've been listening to your videos for awhile, but I wasn't wanting to admit I had a gaming addiction problem. Most of this year, I made time to game almost every day, but I was not really enjoying myself. I also had a general malaise for other things I used to enjoy. I used to love reading and watching movies, but I wasn't motivated to start any because I needed to make progress on X game. I had so many house projects that I just felt unmotivated to start on. A month and a half ago, I watched your video about doing a dopamine detox. I decided to quit gaming for two months cold turkey.
I'm one month in, and it is amazing how many of the old things I used to enjoy have become enjoyable again. I have been reading almost every day plowing through Brandon Sanderson's Skyward series. I watched my first movie in months, Fall Guy. I started watching Gundam: Seed and I'm really enjoying it.
The first week was the hardest and I was very bored, but that boredom pushed me to be productive. I cleaned up my back porch which had been cluttered for two years. I trimmed my trees. I knocked out many projects I'd been pushing out of mind for far too long.
I know you probably won’t read this but you have helped me so much. I deeply thank you.
I read it!
Watching this after spending years addicted to Destiny 2, and finally breaking said addiction last year, is deeply cathartic. Since I stopped playing last year, I've found joy in so many things in my day to day life, things that I was numb to for so, so long.
I've met so many new wonderful friends, I've gotten into journaling in a huge way, I just recently bought a piano to get back into music again, and my relationship with games has completely shifted from a numbing crutch for my depression/anxiety/dysphoria to a thing that brings me immense joy. I love discovering new games, and even old ones that I never had the capacity to truly appreciate at the time.
I used to feel so lost, so hopeless and aimless, but now I find myself waking up excited about what each day brings. Thanks for this video!
One of his best commentaries that I’ve heard in quite a long time. Thank you so very much for sharing your knowledge and insights.
You are the absolute most underated youtuber ever. You have done more positive in my life within 3 videos that no one else could have ever helped me for the longest time.
Thank you Dr K, another video I wish the world should watch. I'm a mother of a 17 yo who has lost all motivation, and I've been imposing less hours of internet usage at home. I'm cutting the 10 hour day to 6 hours and want to get to 5 hours. 10 hours a day really means all the wake hours on it. It's embarassing to admit I left this go so far, but I'm up for the chalenge of diminishing access.
You really are an amazing person. Thank you for giving the public access to all this content. I dont think i would be in the place i am today if i never discovered your channel.
I've never known the direction I wanna go, not that I've lost it. There was no room in my childhood to explore my own interests. All I did was being forced to do things my parents wanted me to become or what they failed to become themselves. The rest of the time was spent being stressed out, trying to escape from reality of parents not caring that I don't want to do what they were forcing me to do.
Thank you for adding this perspective. I've never had a clear sense of direction either. Before I got addicted to screens/gaming, I escaped reality through reading. Writing. Drawing. I've spent my whole life trying to hide from the real world. This just feels like a continuation of the same problem.
going for a walk is very underrated. if all you guys went for a 20 minute walk outside a day you’d be way healthier
This made me stop scrolling. Thank you!
yeah but for how long!!!!
pls pls pls marry me
@@brandonchin7713 ❤️
@@brandonchin7713 bro
You had to scroll to the comments to write this, didn't you? Checkmate, atheists.
Nooo.... My frontol lobe has been rusting for all these years😭 Now I see, I must do all the work first thing in the morning 🌅 Can't be reinforcing all the wrong things. Must reinforce what I must do. Omgggg man my god I'm so happy to be here thank you you Dr. K❤❤❤ I can't believe I've been rotting my frontal lobe all these years😥 I feel so regretful and sad 😭
Thank you for showing this to us Dr. K❤ This truly is one of the most beautiful surprises and choice I've made to aearch this up, thank you❤
First few minutes about internships and getting job, made me terrified…. Like seriously I am at the end of this video and it still hurts.
i've been feeling increasingly lost these days and this video honestly slapped me back into reality. i saw a future ahead of me that's been getting too close for. it's disappointing but i'm so grateful i had the willpower to truly focus on and process the information here. time to make a big change get back to me and the life i actually want. thank you.
I usually don't comment on vidoes. But thank you so much for a detailed and helpful analysis of such a paralyzing problem all over the world from a psychiatric perspective. Much love ❤
I'm at 18:22
You raise an interesting point about children not giving up. See, one of my earliest memories (despite being in my 20s) is still the fact that the first time I got close to walking properly without falling I walked into a dent in the floor (the dent is what my mum told me tripped me up) and then didn't try to walk for months. I know I was scared of the pain from falling down. Only a few months later when I was fed up of not being able to walk and mustered the courage to face the pain did I try again, and luckily I was older and slightly stronger so I was now walking with relative toddler ease. Not sure how exactly how old I was but I'd assume around 1 and or slightly older, only cared to talk to my mum about the events rather than my age.
Anyway, this to me makes me realise that throughout my life I have had this to varying degrees where if I feel pain from something or fail I give up easily. Even before screens were part of my life. At some point it became I don't give up easily, but I kept trying similar things and once I can no longer think of something that works I would default back to my routine and give up rather than asking for help.
I don't know if that's giving up easily. It sounds like it might've been a particularly traumatic or particularly painful fall and you just had an unusually difficult time learning to walk.
That could also be true, but I feel like it’s odd how many times this kinda thing happened.
Perhaps it could also be due to a strong sensitivity to anything negative? Like what’s painful to one person is traumatic to another.
I know I was, and still am to a degree, very sensitive to anything negative as a kid.
Fuck this hits hard.
I had some trauma as a kid but kept going up until summer between 2nd and 3rd year of highschool. Developed what I now see as progressive addiction to screens from age somewhere between 11-13 onwards, and then some stuff happened in HS and at 15, depression hit and I spend a full year being a complete NEET, repeating third year and basically having a verbatim experience of what was described in Termina Boredom section.
It has been 10 years and only got slightly better, with COVID resurfacing quite a bit of stuff, sending me into 2 more years of NEETing. Just, damn.
This is highly simplified but it literally progressed that way. First, games were the most fun, then came porn and youtube, now even games and porn are boring and am frying myself with short term content, can't watch longer stuff without putting it into background and looking at something else.
I most likely wont respond, it's probably time I cave in and store all the screens away for a few months.
I'm the exact same, you almost described my life. I'm almost 30 now and have been trying and failing to get a degree or work for over 10 years now. I also feel like just restricting my access to any screens now, I don't know what else to do.
Thanks a lot Dr. K! Really appreciate how you don't over-simplify stuff. Really on point and special thanks for telling us exactly about the biology. Helpful to know what goes on inside and how all these platforms are profiting off of our human nature. Spread the word, people!
The conclusion at the end in the last 25 seconds fell really, really short!
I wished for a last paragraph with more examples and life hacks on how to reduce screen time without the feeling for missing out!
Because if it were so easy to "just go out more often" (btw. it's already dark at 5 p.m. at the moment in west Europe, so "going out seems not that appealing!) than screen addiction wouldn't be such a problem, I guess!
Hey Dr. you’ve been helping me in life for about a year and a half now. First with cannabis use, now with screen time. Every day I get better because I’m able to identify behavior and adjust to where I need to go. Thank you.
Great video!
A lot of people, myself included, can find it easier to do work later on in the day instead of early on. Could you maybe mention or talk in a video on how this can relate to the concept of budgeting daily dopamine? Though I am not completely sure, I think for me, it is easier to focus on work in the evening when my mind is already a bit exhausted and don't jump around thinking about everything else.
Debilitating truth like this either makes you wanna change the channel or listen to it every day for motivation and a reminder cause its so easy to fall into
I'm an end-stage addict. 1 month into ITAA, working the steps, really not doing well. If you see this please pray for me.
I watched the entire video amd with every new point or symptom of this issue, i became more intrigued by how relatable this is. Genuinely thank you for reaching out in a sea of desparity
1:25 ...I'm watching this video on the toilet... 😅
Abdls mentioned fr
@@awbeanzz bro I'm doing the exact same thing right now 😂
I never remember I have listened to somebody this carefully and focused during the whole 45 minutes nonstop... Your videos are so helpful and amazing sir...
Future generations will view social media on par with gambling: an inherently self destructive behavior that some people are more inclined to fall for, but nobody is 100% safe and thus usually stays clear of such a thing. Or it may be acceptable for people who can afford it and do have the restraint to not get carried away. But it's only acceptable if it's not self destruction.
For this reason our society usually allows gambling only after a certain age and only in designated areas, or maybe not at all. But we warn our children and actively keep them away from gambling.
We should treat social media, or screen addiction, just like that.
Of course this starts with the parents and not by forbidding stuff - that rarely solves an issue.
The damage is here, so we should use the damaging things to undamage the damage from the damaging things, because in all things there is a purpose for it's existence, although that can sometimes simply show one that some things are from randomness.
Dude, you are something else. I knew about this problem, but I didn't understand it as much as I'd like to and now I do. This is the first video in quite a while that I watched beginning to end, without interruptions or distractions. I don't even want to sit here anymore, I want to get up and do the dishes or something, maybe listen to a podcast while doing it.
"learning addiction" i hear that all of the time
Except I’m no longer learning much at all due to the brainrot
@@trinitytythegiftcardguy I think we actually realize that we need information and need to learn stuff in order to get back on track, as we already feel somewhat behind. After all, this also gets exploited, even by not even sinister people, but instead by actually informative youtubers and alike. The next time you learn something about "what would happen if all the oceans on earth disappeared", think about this...
I think the "shorts"-format is really damaging to our brains. We don't get what we want, but we get information after information thrown into our faces without ever spending a second thought on it. Or, even worse: not even information but just the 200th cat video.
The problem I see is: we use this to "phase out", which we kinda do always when we need to relax. However, we don't feel relax. And as we're so disconnected with our emotions, we just think that we need to relax harder, or maybe differently, and then just go to the next site that shoves these shorts in our throats, as if that site would magically cure anything. And if we even might get our brain to relax, we then go to reddit or X to discuss and still turn off our frontal lobe for a good portion of the time... This is no life worth living.
This stuff is so fascinating and complex. So far this is the video of the year.
By the way, remember that screen addiction is oftentimes a symptom of some deeper issue within ourselves.
Dr K... the 4chan gen have been down bad with this for 10 years already.
This is one of the most important videos I have ever watched. Thank you man. I understand myself a lot better now.
The funny thing is how it relates to remote/office work.
I am supposed to work from office on Monday and Wednesday. I can tell you that the weeks when I went to the office on those days feels waaaaay better than weeks when I had excuse not to go because at least on those 2 days I wasn't listening to youtube podcasts in the background while also playing.
The weeks when I stay at home entirely makes my whole weeks miserable because instead of recharging myself on those day I am compulsively trying to do 3 things at a time. That is throwing a shadow on other days as well.
I am 35 yr old father so it also affect how I parent my 6yr son.
I am so addicted that sometimes I cannot even pick my fix. Is it only me who is watching your own steam game list and cannot decide what to play? Sometimes I am picking a game and the turning it off after 5 minutes. Also I started replaying a lot of games that I already finished and shouldn't really be going back to them.
Another thing I noticed that games survival games are really addicting, Planet Crafters, Satisfactory, Factorio. The progression loop in them may be even stronger than hard drugs.
This is one of the best videos I’ve ever watched. Thank you Dr K! Idk why but this targets all the issues I had with screens
7:41 This sounds exactly like one aspect of ADHD, which makes sense because we naturally have fewer dopamine receptors or less dopamine.
I've started tackling seriously since a week ago my phone addiction and cannot thank you enough for this content.
31:21 the way you spend your dopamine today will determine what you want to do tomorrow "
Can’t tell you how much I needed this video. This vid explained so much of what I’ve dealt with since I was a kid constantly on my phone
35:21 this example you just gave points out a major aspect that this video is missing (or maybe you get to it by the end, i havent finished the video yet): the fact that SO many people are reaching young adulthood feeling so directionless and screen addicted is a sign that our society is a complete and utter failure in its current state. Late stage screen addiction and late stage capitalism go hand in hand. In late stage capitalism, in addition to toxic screen addiction being actively promoted in all facets of society, we are also existing in a system that defines success by individual achievement and not group support. In that example you just provided, it is ALL based on individual achievement. While this spunds like a healthy solution at first glance, it is also reinforcing the rules of a very flawed game. Human beings were not designed to function this way. Especially for introverts, neurodivergent people, and people growing up in abusive/neglectful homes, this system sets us up to fail. Can we overcome it with intense individual effort? Yes. Should we have to? Absolutely not.
Ah yes, companies are taking advantage of our insecurities, short attention spans, loneliness, etc...
No wonder why a lot of people are asking why is gen Z like this, why is gen z like that. As a gen z myself, I'm trying not to blame anything for my problems but I feel my generation is conditioned to seem weaker especially when we are in a stage in our lives when we are easily influenced.
I feel like because of the stereotype that gen z is weak, a lot of people from the older generation tend to dismiss or invalidate our feelings and experiences leading young people to suppress their feelings which reinforce their problems.
It is why I like to rant or read or watch stuff on the internet rather than talking to ppl in real life but I want to change that. I want to be more vulnerable in real life so I don't have to deal with shits alone. It would be a challenge for me since I find it hard to trust people but I appreciate the support I received from some teachers and friends.
You deliver a very important point there dude, human beings are not meant to succeed by individual achievement. They are meant to work together
I agree that our culture isn't particularly helpful in helping people get out of this mess and thats not great. But this : "we are also existing in a system that defines success by individual achievement and not group support. In that example you just provided, it is ALL based on individual achievement", I think is missing the point. Whether you work together with other people to solve problems or not, it's completely impossible to do it if you can't compartmentalize and solve problems at all.
How does the "system define success" exactly? Success is whatever you want in your life and that doesn't have to have anything to do with what society says success is. I personally grew up in an abusive household and was eating antidepressants like candy for a lot of my teen years and grew to display literally every symptom Dr K outlined in this video. The system may not have come to save me, but I don't see how it "set me up to fail". I think theres a difference between society failing to adequately help people as opposed to actively harming people.
Should society be better? Yeah of course. The way it is right now is almost complicitly evil. You and I and everyone should work to change that. But reality is whatever reality is. Whether society is evil or good is ultimately completely irrelevant when you ask the question of what should a person do. Doesn't matter how society is set up. If you want to be happy you should work to be happy. Doesn't matter if there are 5 people pushing you forward, or 5 people pushing you back
@@DSS712 Love you comment 👍 I agree on the fact that individual achievements are way less important than contributing in a collective goal that definitely improve society. Group support is so important 👑
@@Alex-fh4my if there are 5 people pushing you back and those 5 people are the primary figures in your life, then you exist in a broken system. I hate to break it to you.
You mentioned that you grew up in an abusive household, right? In a late stage capitalist society, emotional health is a meaningless construct. When our current society evaluates a family unit for well being, they look at one thing: finances. Nothing else matters. Fostering an emotionally supportive environment is not on the list of standards we use to assess the health of a community, and that is truly fucked up. Unless the adults are physically harming children, everything else is irrelevant as long as monetary income is stable.
(Sorry to get so heated about this, the USA just voted to have the country led by people who will only push us FURTHER into a finance-focused, emotionally-blind set of values, and I'm really devastated about it.)
This was incredibly insightful and I think the new perspective I’ve gained from it is going to help me curb my scrolling addiction. I can imagine myself abstaining, and over the course of time regaining the feeling of motivation to do things I like by training my brain to do so. In my depression it has felt that this would be impossible, but after watching this video, I truly BELIEVE that I can heal myself from this predicament I have found myself in. Thank you so much for creating this amazing content!!
Hope I saw this 15 years ago... Piece of advice for everyone... This is real.. Facing serious life problems at my 40s due to gaming at my 20s. Focus on your goals... Work towards them and do not stop or give up. Thank you Doc
Actually I was playing hard until my late 30s... Unbelievable the time wasted.. Easy I could have learned 2 more languages one master.. Maybe a PhD or a new career
same.. only im 30 but i already wasted most of my life like this and i haven't accomplished anything of note in my life, and it feels like i never will.. all the employers want young people and i feel like my neurons are cooked already
has nothing to do with gaming bro.
@@simonrockstream hmm, don't you think serious gaming addiction can do that?
@@simonrockstreamhas everything to do with video games. The same things that CHILDREN play with
I’m thankful that a video / a channel like this popped up on my screen, thank you doc 🙏
good video. watched the entire thing
@@MioY9 what?!!! impossible. 😲
Perfect timing! Just when I’m trying to reduce my screen addiction this November. Wild how a few pixels can hijack our brain... Thanks, Dr. K!
Watching this while scrolling reels
I’m a self aware person who regularly practices good habits as to avoid my bad behaviors. This prevents me from allowing my bad behaviors to become habits. Out of all the temptations in my life, scrolling on my phone for longer than I should is easily the sickest most addictive mental state that plagues my life.
@@RJsYourBOSS Practicing your good habits as to avoid your bad behaviors is something I needed to hear, very inspirational! Keep it up.
@ We can do it, I believe in us💪
I really wish this video would focus more on the "how to fix it" part, especially for neurodivergent people.
I'm not saying it should substitute my executive function, but kick start it at least.
I’m not saying this would work for sure but if you need to get a task done- start a timer and commit for five minutes. Also depending on the content, if I can keep a video or something playing in the background, I will. Somehow that makes it easier
Thank you, Dr. K.
I wasted another day today, feeling miserable and avoiding my responsibilities and the things I enjoy. I listened to part of this video a few days ago, so I knew I needed to come back to it. You really helped me understand the problems I'm going through, and now I feel much more confident in how I'm going to handle myself going forward.
you got this!!🙌
so it really was that damn phone
Thanks for the explanation, it really helped and made sense. I see myself a lot in what you explained. Iv been addicted to content/ social media since age 8 (I’m nearly 17) and have been trying to change my habits and actually start living and processing in life. It makes relieved that you called this a ‘screen addiction’ rather than just social or gaming addiction and/or focusing on one or the other as iv had teachers and professionals solely focus on a possible gaming addiction (as I game) and told me and gave me resources to fix that. After this video and recently iv felt that it was more of a bigger issue, a screen addiction and doing-stuff-that-doesn’t-have-to-make-me-think addiction is what I have to change. Like I definitely have a social media addiction but my teachers and people around me *only* want to focus on my gaming.
could you talk about finding purpose and how to know what to focus your time on? It seems like all the dreams I have would've been great for when I was a teenager, but now as an adult I still have the same dreams, but it's way too late for them. I would like to have some more mature goals and aspirations and stop feeling like it's over or too late for anything
Wow. Deleted all my socials by the time I finished watching this (including youtube, I switched to my laptop lol) I've been really thinking abou how much I use my phone for almost a month, even last night I was talking to my friend about feeling like I'm falling behind, accepting the fact that my path is different, but not even knowing where the path is going. I frequently talk about feeling stuck in my own therapy sessions. This read me like a book and I really needed the perspective, thank you sm
I frickin love this guy ❤