@@ManTalks I personally came out of a long-term relationship with a narcissist recently, and I can feel the effects when I meet new women. It could be nice to learn a bit more about how those types of abusive relationships affect men and how we can work our way out of them.
The points made around 2:20 sticks with me so hard. No matter how much I improve improve my physical connection with my partner, the slightest dry spell makes me reset to this line of thinking, causing me to subconsciously give up, as if I'm doing her a favour. Until it goes on long enough and she questions my interest/care and we start again once I get almost "explicit permission". Just got the Men's Work book, so hopefully it will help with all my general shame issues
While there is a lot in this video I'd like to comment on, I'll keep it to two points that were briefly mentioned but I'd love to see them discussed more in depth. 1. Responsive desire, the idea that the person has to be turned on in their body first, and then they'll become sexually aroused. Unfortunately that means that for most men, since we're not what women look at and get turned on, we're not going to get a woman sexually aroused. George from Seinfeld or Howard from Big Bang Theory could know every way to sexually please a woman, but if the woman looks at them and thinks Ewww, then no matter what he does, she isn't going to be sexually satisfied. 2. The idea that someone, usually more the woman, needs to feel safe and trust her partner in order to feel intimate. I've never then had it explained why a woman could be married to a man and feel completely safe with him, but she'll not have sex with him, instead opting for the stranger she met during a girls night out and sleeping with him that same evening. He's done nothing that would make her feel safe or trust him but because she looked at him and got aroused, she'll do things with him she'd never do with her husband.
1. Having talked to many women it seems they actually have some physical attraction or potential attraction to many men. So the idea that "Most" men are unattractive is a myth. But that does not mean you will be chosen on looks alone. That is because so many men are trying to get the attention of that woman she can be choosy who she gives attention too. Also just because a woman see's you as Ewww simply means that woman is not for you. Connecting with women is not hard, men just need to learn how to have an authentic conversation. That ability to communicate, ideally around a common interest, changes so many things with women. 2. Women need to feel secure that the man is not going to beat her up, attack her, or try to force her do do something without consent but that's about all "Safety" that is required. Why is she attracted to another man is simple. Most humans are not monogamous by nature. Why does she not do things with the husband she will with the stranger is also simple. The husband has probably never discussed his needs or desires for those things before entering into the marriage (or he did it in a very sheepish way). Many married men domesticate themselves and approach women in what the man considers a "Respectful" way and not in the way he would really want to have sex with her. Also many women ask their husbands for kinky sex (directly or indirectly) and he just can't or will not do it.
@@snooglehound1285 I can't agree with the idea that most women find most men attractive. When they have women rate men's dating profiles, 80% are found to be below average with barely any found attractive.
@@BloodyHeck I mean if you consider online dating to be the real world then you might be right. But remember that rating a dating profile is literally asking them to choose in a space of nearly unlimited profiles. Nevertheless have you ever seen most men’s profiles on Tinder, so many of them have really bad photos. I also have the benefit of seeing the world before the internet and almost every guy dated and found partners, not just 20%. So step one is don’t try dating online and definitely don’t believe everything you hear on the internet about “How women think”. Notice I said “Talking” with many women, like in person conversations with women that I was not trying to date.
@@snooglehound1285 But also in the real world, most women, about 80% say their ideal man is at least 6' tall and earns at least $100K, which only about 2% of men fit both of those. So still, the majority of men are unattractive to the majority of women.
@@BloodyHeck the key word there is “Ideal” man. But again that’s an internet fantasy statistic. Spend time in any real social situation and you will see women with men mostly in the 98% not that mythical 2%. It’s simple if you are interested in real women then look in the real world.
She started off her talk by subtely blaming men - as many women do - its mainly because men ''bring bad habits from solo practice into relationships'' she says. Where is your evidence that that is the main cause? And even where it is a cause, why have you ignored the societal conditioning, including from women, which has created this? I could go on but I decided to stop watching - no time for woke feminist. And why on earth would you want to take advice about how to manage your penis from someone who has literally never had that lived experience, nor is a qualified medical doctor.
This video is only 1 hour long, there's only so many things they can go over. She is a sex coach, just cause she's not a doctor, who merely focus on anatomy, doesn't mean that she doesn't understand practical concepts. She brings the female perspective, if you're interested in seeing it too, as well anecdotal information about many other men who she's helped. Take what resonates leave what doesn't.
Maybe you guys should be my video title creators. Haha. What would you have called this convo? Genuinely curious as I’m still learning about UA-cam and how to get the content out to guys
@@ManTalks First off I applaud you on reacting to what was a bit of fun on your expense. Secondly, I'm not an expert and just a consumer on youtube. I would say as someone that has taken some of the things you said very seriously (I still use some of your questions in my journal), using titles like this sort off undercut your credibility? I still watched the video though so don't take it too serious. Have a great day and thanks for the content :)
I appreciate this woman and her knowledge
This is one of the most anticipated talks for me in a long while. Really great conversation, you are both amazing :)
Wonderful, there will be more! We are planning round 2 already. Any topics or questions you think we should get into next time?
@@ManTalks I personally came out of a long-term relationship with a narcissist recently, and I can feel the effects when I meet new women. It could be nice to learn a bit more about how those types of abusive relationships affect men and how we can work our way out of them.
The points made around 2:20 sticks with me so hard.
No matter how much I improve improve my physical connection with my partner, the slightest dry spell makes me reset to this line of thinking, causing me to subconsciously give up, as if I'm doing her a favour. Until it goes on long enough and she questions my interest/care and we start again once I get almost "explicit permission".
Just got the Men's Work book, so hopefully it will help with all my general shame issues
While there is a lot in this video I'd like to comment on, I'll keep it to two points that were briefly mentioned but I'd love to see them discussed more in depth.
1. Responsive desire, the idea that the person has to be turned on in their body first, and then they'll become sexually aroused. Unfortunately that means that for most men, since we're not what women look at and get turned on, we're not going to get a woman sexually aroused. George from Seinfeld or Howard from Big Bang Theory could know every way to sexually please a woman, but if the woman looks at them and thinks Ewww, then no matter what he does, she isn't going to be sexually satisfied.
2. The idea that someone, usually more the woman, needs to feel safe and trust her partner in order to feel intimate. I've never then had it explained why a woman could be married to a man and feel completely safe with him, but she'll not have sex with him, instead opting for the stranger she met during a girls night out and sleeping with him that same evening. He's done nothing that would make her feel safe or trust him but because she looked at him and got aroused, she'll do things with him she'd never do with her husband.
1. Having talked to many women it seems they actually have some physical attraction or potential attraction to many men. So the idea that "Most" men are unattractive is a myth. But that does not mean you will be chosen on looks alone. That is because so many men are trying to get the attention of that woman she can be choosy who she gives attention too. Also just because a woman see's you as Ewww simply means that woman is not for you. Connecting with women is not hard, men just need to learn how to have an authentic conversation. That ability to communicate, ideally around a common interest, changes so many things with women. 2. Women need to feel secure that the man is not going to beat her up, attack her, or try to force her do do something without consent but that's about all "Safety" that is required. Why is she attracted to another man is simple. Most humans are not monogamous by nature. Why does she not do things with the husband she will with the stranger is also simple. The husband has probably never discussed his needs or desires for those things before entering into the marriage (or he did it in a very sheepish way). Many married men domesticate themselves and approach women in what the man considers a "Respectful" way and not in the way he would really want to have sex with her. Also many women ask their husbands for kinky sex (directly or indirectly) and he just can't or will not do it.
@@snooglehound1285 I can't agree with the idea that most women find most men attractive. When they have women rate men's dating profiles, 80% are found to be below average with barely any found attractive.
@@BloodyHeck I mean if you consider online dating to be the real world then you might be right. But remember that rating a dating profile is literally asking them to choose in a space of nearly unlimited profiles. Nevertheless have you ever seen most men’s profiles on Tinder, so many of them have really bad photos. I also have the benefit of seeing the world before the internet and almost every guy dated and found partners, not just 20%. So step one is don’t try dating online and definitely don’t believe everything you hear on the internet about “How women think”. Notice I said “Talking” with many women, like in person conversations with women that I was not trying to date.
@@snooglehound1285 But also in the real world, most women, about 80% say their ideal man is at least 6' tall and earns at least $100K, which only about 2% of men fit both of those. So still, the majority of men are unattractive to the majority of women.
@@BloodyHeck the key word there is “Ideal” man. But again that’s an internet fantasy statistic. Spend time in any real social situation and you will see women with men mostly in the 98% not that mythical 2%. It’s simple if you are interested in real women then look in the real world.
I love Caitlins facial expressions and smile, the work/dance of her lips. Reminds me of 2 girlfriends, who had fire in her .... blood.
She started off her talk by subtely blaming men - as many women do - its mainly because men ''bring bad habits from solo practice into relationships'' she says. Where is your evidence that that is the main cause? And even where it is a cause, why have you ignored the societal conditioning, including from women, which has created this?
I could go on but I decided to stop watching - no time for woke feminist. And why on earth would you want to take advice about how to manage your penis from someone who has literally never had that lived experience, nor is a qualified medical doctor.
I was hoping to find the one thing in the comment. But your comment was worth my time. No one thing needed anymore
This video is only 1 hour long, there's only so many things they can go over. She is a sex coach, just cause she's not a doctor, who merely focus on anatomy, doesn't mean that she doesn't understand practical concepts. She brings the female perspective, if you're interested in seeing it too, as well anecdotal information about many other men who she's helped. Take what resonates leave what doesn't.
"This one thing" "this one trick they don't want you to know about" 😂 like stereotype clickbait
(they don't want you to know about this! Results guaranteed!)
Maybe you guys should be my video title creators. Haha. What would you have called this convo? Genuinely curious as I’m still learning about UA-cam and how to get the content out to guys
@@ManTalks First off I applaud you on reacting to what was a bit of fun on your expense. Secondly, I'm not an expert and just a consumer on youtube. I would say as someone that has taken some of the things you said very seriously (I still use some of your questions in my journal), using titles like this sort off undercut your credibility? I still watched the video though so don't take it too serious. Have a great day and thanks for the content :)
@@rh.m6660which questions? Which vid?
@@GoldenWolf115 The title is "5 questions that will change your life" worth the watch!