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12 years post divorce here. Good video. If you're going through it now it's not just BS when you see people say it gets better. I'm happier now than when I was married and thought everything was good. Simple advice if you're going through it. Don't do anything you'll regret later. Don't spend forever being angry at her. If you have kids take every step thinking about how they'll look at it when they're an adult. Keep your calm around her, especially with kids involved. You "win" against her by being a better and happier person.
After 17 years we picked up, sold hour house and moved to another state. I left my friends, family, started a new job and bought a nice house. Now she wants a divorce. I’m stuck here with no friends, no family or support. I want to get back to my home state but will leave here with less than I had when I was 20. I’m now 55. The stress is killing me. Renting is expensive and I barely have enough for the move let alone a security deposit and furniture or ? I’ll probably never own my home again. I’m sad, angry, confused, exhausted and scared. I’m not saying don’t ever get married but once again I’m laying here at 4am because I can’t sleep......
@@Mar1wan1 I can say it was one of the hardest things I ever went through but I survived. I did move back to my home state. I’ve been living in a less than ideal apartment/area since I got back here but I’m able to save money for a new house when the right situation comes up. Even if the house thing doesn’t work, I’ll have a good amount of savings for whatever I need it for. I threw myself into exercise, fitness and diet which worked out well. I was able to do a short triathlon. It was a good goal. My job has worked out well with opportunities for some travel. My ex and I are friends. In fact she is going on vacation next week and while she is gone I am able to stay at the house and use her car for my vacation travels (for some much needed hiking). It’ll save me a bunch of money… Based on that, if I had any advice to share it would be: Take the high road. Be as nice as you can possibly be (I know it seems impossible) but don’t make a bad situation worse. Then strive to be the best version of yourself. Find inspiration. Get yourself healthy. For me it was an amazing learning experience that builds confidence and will set yourself up for a healthy future as we/I get older. There is no downside to it.
Divorce survivor here. Rich is spot on. My second life, life after divorce, is absolutely awesome! I have way more wealth, way less stress, and life is so much better than I ever imagined it could be. Keep you heads up. The only way to get through hell is to keep on walking.
@@90syungin51 it is hell. Sorry man. You will get through it. It may not feel like it but it will end. Mine took 3-1/2 years and cost me about $250k, but the other side was worth it. Keep your head up.
One thing I would add to all this. If your 45-60 and going through divorce and you think its bad, you need to keep how bad it is in mind because just imagine how much worse it will be if you get married again and then go through another divorce when your 60-75. The point of this story is don't do it again! It's a game that the only way you can win is to not play!
39 and past 4years nothing but courts allegations and survived divorce and I decided to walk away because exactly...why play a game where the rulebook is written for the woman I 💯 agree
I lost my brother by suicide over a woman. My brother was a rocket scientist so every time I hear the one about you do not need a rocket scientist to figure it out I think of my brother. This along with three other friends of mine took their own lives because of a broken heart. I know of not one woman who has taken their life over a man.
That's because women have nothing to lose and everything to gain with a divorce. For men, a divorce is not only emotionally but also financially a total death sentence.
My wife got tired of sleeping with me. Spent two years building a new home together. A month after we moved in, she asked for the divorce. We have a 6 yo son. It almost destroyed me. There was a solid month where I had intrusive thoughts of deleting myself. 6 months later, I have 50% custody and she is paying me child support because she was a corporate executive and I had supported her, even staying home with our kid for the first two years. I'm lucky at 45 I still look 35. All my hair, and no gut. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, though it still hurts to be discarded. Only time will heal, but you have to make it and be patient to yourself, and forgive yourself for being wrecked and not being stronger or doing all the right things at the right time.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
I was divorced by my drug abusing wife. She left me and our 2 children. It hurt, but about 6 months after she was gone, I had money, new vehicle, new Harley, and women from 20 to 45 throwing themselves at me. Been 23 years now and it is awesome
Been divorce for 18 years. Lost everything .....am 52 finish paying child support..after 18 years..still trying to recuparate...this man here tells the truth....
Thank you for this…Im going through this after 28 years of marriage. My heart is broken…fortunately the kids are grown…but my wife has changed. I feel lost…have had those thoughts of “what’s the point?” I get angry, then overwhelmed…find myself sleeping alot. I work full time…really all thats left is to sell the house and figure out whats next…but I loved this women and gave her everything. She just quit on us….its the worst feeling I’ve ever had.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
@@alexandrabanderas9411 Rough night for me….find myself dwelling on it. I was good enough to raise three kids that were not mine….good enough to pay bills and provide for her….but almost suddenly, poof….thats it. She seems fine with letting 25++ years just fall away….and Im unsure of what to do with myself now. Inner voice is saying quit the job….cash out the retirement….and just hit the road with a trcuk and a camper….spend six months traveling.
All the same experience. It will get better. You will find someone new. Don't judge against your former spouse. Go slow. Deep breathe. See a psychiatrist for therapy and meds. Sleep is depression. We all have it.
I've been divorced now for about 11 years, fantastic advice, I had a motto, "Live Forward" meaning don't lament on the past, live for the present, set goals even easy short term goals, reward yourself...
24 years married ( she stayed at home ) and 30 years together, I ended up with all 4 of my sons with me and she pays child support and I kept our family home . Theirs hope , the emotional stress goes on and takes time to heal from ….
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
72yo American here in Cambodia these past 18 years. Married the much younger woman who divorced me a couple of years ago for her cousin 5 years her junior as we now have about $2 million in assets and I am "old and ugly". All the assets (mainly land and houses) are in her name under Cambodian law. I got a fair ~50/50 settlement in the lower Court, which recognized our pre-nup (no alimony), recognized my 100% financial contribution to the properties, and gave me custody of the children. I got a fair trial in the Court of Appeals, and am awaiting a Supreme-fucking Court trial - which I will also win. My 12yo son bravely and voluntarily stood in front of the Court and said he wanted to live with me. The moral of this story is that women don't want fairness, they want EVERYTHING, even at the cost of severely damaging their relationship with their children. So hang in there guys, don't take it lying down, and certainly 'don't go quietly into the night.'
18 yrs of child support, so broke I had to sell plasma twice a week for 10 yrs to make it but I finally got thru that hell and so can you. Hang in there. Shared custody is good advice, wish I had known that back when
54 here, lost a million dollars in my most recent divorce. Not much to some. But every penny I have made in my life. The attorney got half of that. My suggestion is other than get married in the first place. Liquidate. Before anything happens. Stash it with your friends. Not your family. Make complicated investments, not as a standard practice. But have business partners you trust. People she doesn't know, and people she can't fuck...
I am sorry big fella. I have seen this up close, good men who lost a quarter of what you did and could never get back up. choosing suicide as the way out. A lot of pain out there. A lot.
If you are contemplating suicide think of this poem - "Thier was a man who had the blues because he had no shoes, untill upon the street he met a man with no feet"
Thank you for the words of encouragement and truth. I had the rope around my neck about a year ago. I'm so happy I didn't follow through. I decided to stop and just have a bite before I did it. Then, I fell asleep. Each day started getting just a tiny bit better but it was enough to believe it could get much better with enough of those days. My advice, never take your own life 1) hungry, 2) tired, or 3) alone.
I totally agree with you! Split custody as best as possible combined with a one foot in front of the other mentally will see you though. I too had deep depression, but that will pass and one day your life will definitely be better!!! Hang in there brothers!
Divorce for a man, is a harrowing experience, especially when you have children, you can handle the finances, as a man you can handle that, but when you have children, the emotional roller coaster is a head fuck, but stay strong!! Because the odds are against you, the women have the upper hand, been through it, as the man says, there is a light at the end of tunnel, your children are not stupid remember that!!
I fudging need this right now, thank you. I have my good days and bad ones but “this too shall pass” also rings in my ears too. You survive by not self-deleting, make yourself a mental point of origin, have hobbies, and make more money. I have failed in all these aspects but making the change.
It’s insane how high divorce rates are. My younger brother was a Tom cruise look alike growing up had all and any woman he wanted - he’s single and doesn’t want to get married - not bc he likes dating bu bc of avoiding this..it’s so sad I’ll never preach to him “get married stert a family “ again...
Herakles - it’s pretty hilarious when the media tries to portray that divorce rates are dropping and even pontificating that people are getting married “smarter and later in life” blah blah... then don’t mention the “rate” is dropping as vast numbers of men are just passing on living with women altogether. So the great numbers are supported by religious sub groups of people in society getting married out of religious duty - whom have always had low divorce rates... The learning is two fold in this video... you can survive, and those looking through the window.. don’t do it!
Mine cost me $60K, and her $80K. And I’m a government worker. Kids were involved. The key takeaway from what Richard shares is that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. 12 years post divorce and I shudder to think of having stayed with her till my twin boys were 18 (this year). I’d be dead by now had I not filed for divorce in ‘06.
Luminous U , yeah there were many red flags. But I was in my mid-20’s and naive and completely blue pill, back in the day. Now, I tell my young adult sons to wait till they’re 30 before they commit to a woman, like Rollo Tomasi espouses. This gives time for the big head to start overruling the little head, too.
Keep Going , I had had enough of her abuse, especially her swearing at me and calling me names in front of my (then) eight-year-old son. I reached my breaking point, and decided that I wasn’t going to have my three sons believe that it’s OK for a woman to treat them like their mother was treating me. So I filed, she was totally surprised and all hell broke loose with the wrath of all the gods in all the heavens, from her. But it was still worth it.
@@CanadianAndre good for you Andre. I’ve seen men become a shadow of their former selves through years of mental abuse from their wives. I refused to let that happen to me so took the decision to leave, save my self respect, my sanity and most all save a good relationship with my two boys. I also tell other guys before you commit make sure you really know who your going to marry, especially this day & age, where we live in a culture where it’s almost acceptable to totally f#*k the man over and ruin his life, whilst the women walks away cash in hand and happy.
My wife hired a female divorce lawyer and life became a nightmare. The unethical trickery was unbelievable. Neither she or her lawyer acted in the best interest of the kids. Their game-playing pushed me towards suicide. Fortunately I chose not to go that route.
I think If you are deemed a threat to the children probably the best scenario would be to keep your distance for a while. Don't add fuel to the fire. Don't risk being seen as an abusive person. Let tensions simmer down. Do what they tell you. Off course give yourself time to mourn. But not too long. Then start slowly taking steps to rebuild yourself.
Thank you so much for this Richard. I am one of those guys that got reamed, royally, reamed. I had to live in my car for a year. Felt like I was back in my twenties. But! yes, there is a light at the end. All you guys going through this, you need to open your eyes and ears and listen to what we are telling you. Guys always think it's our fault, it not! Get through the divorce as fast as possible. Do Not engage in the 'back and forth" argument. And, above all, no contact with her.
Divorce is one of the worst things that can happen to a man. I sincerely thank all of my miserable married and divorce friends who've warned me about just how bad marriage can get. Any rational man(reference intended), would be very honest about what a grave risk marriage is.
@Beth Éireann I disagree, it's very good for young men to avoid marriage. Divorce is the fastest and easiest legal transfer of resources in the Western world. Many people have broken down the specifics of why the ancient contract of marriage doesn't work in the modern world. All factors included, marriage actually has something like a 75%-85% fail rate. It's not even in the same category as rape, car accidents or domestic abuse(which is often a failure at the marriage level as well.)
@Beth Éireann It's absolutely true if you don't just look at divorce, but also include separation, issues with children, sexless marriage, marriage with infidelity, or marriages where one or both partners express deep unhappiness.
@Beth Éireann Every person is in control of their own happiness. Whether they accept that control or not, is entirely up to them...when they're single. Once you're married, your partner's happiness or lack thereof greatly impacts yours until you leave. This is why marriage can feel like prison. Most illness goes away with a lot more meditation/exercise and a lot less sugar.
@Beth Éireann We agree on that point. The problem is, most people don't work on themselves, so those that do will find it very hard to find someone compatible. the main problem is that if a marriage goes wrong, it is literally one of the worst things that can possibly happen to a man. It could mean financial ruin, the loss of his family or both. It is one of the leading causes of suicide among men and it's not right to let young men engage that risk without warning them. We all want it to be better, but right now it's in a bad state and needs to be treated accordingly.
Tip: Don't let your wife/girl cut you off from your friends. You might need those brothers to lean on if things go upside down. Don't let your family consume your identity. That is not what responsibility looks like. That's servitude. I've never been that married but I have been that friend.
That is one of the most popular opening moves in the female playbook. That’s the whole point of marriage for them, to separate you from your resources by any means necessary.
I have 0 friends and am somewhat close with my brother and parents. Once I finish my treatment and got a job I plan on getting involved in some MMA, woodworking, go to the gym, etc. anything to get me in the room with real masculine Men. Her friends are her friends!
Thanks for your content Rich. This pep talk helps. My singular focus is on our two kids. I’ve put in these foundation years, they take comfort in me, I’ve cultivated a bond I hope is an unbreakable foundation, but this divorce, …she can’t handle our son, let alone both kids at the same time. I’m worried for my kids’ well-being. Sure, Kid’s are resilient and they’ll get through it and figure out how to navigate this, I feel bad about it, we’ll get whatever counseling we need, I’m not worried. But what worries me is our son has a real medical issue, epilepsy. My wife literally can’t handle it, or him, along with our 20 mo baby. I think shared custody shouldn’t be too much of an issue, but I don’t see how she can manage both kids on the days she’ll have them. She can’t do it now, but on top of it is our son’s medical condition….I’m frustrated, angry, fair enough, I’m going to try for primary custody as I can better care for our kids and keep them together, but I’m also losing everything financially that also provides our foundation to care for them. Whole world being ripped apart by a narcissistic sociopath who’s unwilling to go to family counseling to better relate to her son and develop better tools to understand his needs and condition. Ignorance by choice and with it just lay waste to the family stability. Deep disappointment. Just taking it one day at a time, trying to keep my bullet-points in order centered on my kids well-being first. With all assets about to go up in smoke, makes it real hard to do what’s needed for my kids. Hoping for the best, but not feeling confident…we’ll see. Putting a lot of faith in my lawyer, hope that’s not too misguided. Wish me luck fellas, I’m gonna need it. I thought putting in the ground work in our kids’ early years would be enough, but they can’t calculate the little things, like both kids are snuggled up with me every night while she’s in another room, the kids literally seek me out for their comfort….where to the courts calculate that? Where do the factor in that I’m the one who takes them to all their appointments, meets with the teachers, works on the homework…they don’t seem to see it. Just divide up the assets and bleed the man out. I carried the burden so she could build her businesses, most of which have lost money and most years she barely made anything, but my time is consumed sustaining my career, providing our base, and providing the emotional connection the kids seek and don’t get from her, where do the courts calculate that sweat equity? Not feeling confident they do. Will be finding out in the coming months and years of this BS stupidity though. Nothing seems to matter, just money. Enough is never enough today. Success is never successful enough. Slayed dragons, conquered mountains, overcome abject poverty, you’re still never enough. Society is unrelenting at delivering its insidious beatdown in one malicious form or another. Again, hoping for the best but leery of the worst to come…likely we’ll land somewhere in the middle. The kids deserve better than this…that’s the great disappointment and the only piece I’m dialed in to do as much as I can about. I’ll tell ya though, it’s no wonder so many guys simply walk away. It’s too damn hard
17 years and seven kids. She served me papers 3 weeks ago. I'm back in the gym after 10 years. I lost 25 lbs due to betrayal and lack of sleep. It was painful, but I'm starting to feel better about it. I'll keep you posted.
16 years two kids 😢 two days ago one day after my 42 birthday she told me she’s not in love with me any more ! Now we really are best friends so I think will get through it easy on legal and financial end but this is the worst man shit 🤦🏻♂️
Divorce is so common we’ve come up with a new term: conscious uncoupling. And half think it’s bad for kids while the other thinks it can be good. Life is hard, kiddo, face it and get through it. That’s not my place. I was a boy with divorced parents. Very dark place for a kid. Your entire foundation shattered. Decades later, I’m now the dad or ex-dad and it’s astonishing. Do we learn nothing as we age? Once a father, always a father. Sure, but a dad is in the home. My ex changed her name back. Kids don’t share her name and don’t have dad in the house. That’s foundational. It gets better is a lie. I’ll get thru this. They will get thru this. But there is a debt which can never be paid.
Thanks a lot for your advices Rich! I'm 24 and was never married. But your content saved me from my Oneitis syndrome. My blue pilled father was and is a great provider for me, but he never taught me these valuable lessons.
When my ex and I were splitting up I thought driving in front of a logging truck which I saw many of near my home. I never did but I was very upset over the lies my ex told about me. I found out through public court records she tried to get a restraining order against me and failed. That did not stop her lawyer from "ordering" me from going on my own property. I felt like going to his office to punch him out. He had no authority to say that to me. After going to my property to pick up some of my tools I got a call from a police officer. I immediately got my back up and asked him what the point of his call was. He admitted that there was no legal reason I could not go to my property so I calmed down. He explained that she was "worried" or some other female bullshit he had to follow up on. He did go on to say that he could hear in my voice that I was very upset and that as a man who has been through divorce that is DOES get better. That he promised me, and he was right. It was comforting to hear something like that at that time from a total stranger who was also a authority figure. After watching this video I wanted to share a small part of my story. Peace!
Glad that you did not drive in front of a logging truck for a number of reasons....it would have caused unneeded stress and guilt in the innocent truck drivers life and there is a chance that you may have become severely injured with major handicaps and not dead, a burden to yourself and others.
Pretty much same situation here. hang in there dude I know you're going to do good and also thank you for your post it was encouraging to me. Obviously you didn't drive in front of the logging truck that was very difficult not to do but yet you manned up and did it best wishes to you.
To all men out there I have a message for you as well. Always make sure you have a plan B in place. This is a fully thought out and constantly updated plan of action to cope if your wife walks in one night and tells that’s it. Even if you are in a completely happy marriage you must have a plan B. A plan B will save your life. My very exciting plan B should my happy marriage end is to find a nice house renovate it quickly to my taste and then go off riding my adventure bike around the world learning about people’s cultures. Just having a plan makes you not stress about possible traumas. My plan B has every little detail covered so if the nightmare starts it goes straight into action and takes care of me. I am now caring for three blokes that are on the edge as we speak. Each one said to me what’s the point in being here. Nice one Richard you probably have saved a good few chaps 👍
Great Idea man, just like the stoics said: "If you contemplate the possibility of things not going your way, you keep your balance qhen the situation arrises.".
Plan B is all very well unless you have kids, then wether you like it or not you are at the mercy of the family court system. Also take my word for it, you have never known a woman until you meet her in court.
Most married women have a plan B. She will start putting it into action a minimum of 6 months before she files for divorce. The more you have to lose, the sooner she starts it. I know a woman who's ex husband owned a couple businesses and she bragged to me about how she started planning her escape 4 years before
Buddy's Insight - great to see you helping out your friends. But why get married at all if you don’t plan for kids. That’s just a bad play. And if you have kids then the whole plan B might as well be plan Z... cause you won’t be deciding much. Guys need a plan A. Plan A is never marry a women below you in social standing, job, or wealth prospects. Kind of exactly what a woman does using her charm and vagina.... We need to smarten the F up... judging by the current marriage stats of all the ladies living alone past 30 I’d say men are starting to figure it out... slowly
It's really bad here in EU as well. In my small country, 90% of judges that deal with divorce...are women. There is a huge society of divorced man who are now suing the government for discrimination when it comes to the custody of kids. Women almost always get custody automatically.
Divorce in the western world is specifically designed to protect the interests of women at all costs. Women must be protected from all possible harm or disadvantage. Men are the ones who pay almost the entire cost of relationship failure.
Men are mostly the ones who pay for everything. During my marriage I was he sole payer of our mortgage, but because the mortgage was in her name as well as mine, she took 50% of the money we made off the house sale, despite me paying for the house for over 10 years.
Great words, Richard! My best friend has recently divorced due to infidelity on his wife’s part. I’ve been following you and RMG since inception, read a couple of books, mainly by Rollo etc...I’ve swallowed the proverbial red pill and try to live my life accordingly. Now I’m unplugging my friend and he’s progressing very fast. Definitely I will pass your words of wisdom on coping with divorce to him. Thanks, bro, far all you do!
Wife has NPD and BPD, psychologist told me. I see the kids about ten hours a week. They are young, oldest is 10. I’m afraid to leave her alone because these people are self destructive. No assets to divide. Moved out six months ago, so far best six months of my life. Live happily alone. Keeping my eyes out if I hear of anybody worth dating but in no rush. Life I beautiful and precious.
Guys, if you are considering marriage do not even consider a pre-nuptual agreement as judges are throwing them out as wimmin are saying you forced them to sign it with no proof, and just like false assault or rape allegations with no proof the judges believe wimminz. The answer to keeping your lifes work and sanity legally is an irrevocable trust, not a prenuptial agreement.
Been Divorced 3 times and agree with everything you say, yes it’s difficult for men getting Divorced but life gets better once divorced but getting there is a rocky road. Divorce for me involved everything bad that could happen to a person went from having 4 houses great lifestyle to going through Bankruptcy and loosing everything including my kids from my ex wife poisoning them. But I am more happy than I’ve ever been but you have to help yourself get there. Invest in yourself it’s not your fault. Nice talk well done,
I got lucky in my divorce, my ex was not smart, she gave me majority of our belongings so I would sign the papers and she could go out and get laid. I never had kids,dont want kids... so no custody battle/child support. Now everything was fine and dandy after the divorce until 2 years later I sold the house and made a nice Penny on it and she actually try to get a piece of that even though the divorce papers were final LOL women can get crazy when money is involved no matter who they are or what you have...
I told myself I will never allow this world nor a woman to get me to the point if wanting to end myself ever again. I will stay single for life because I've been exposed to too many nasty divorces and fights throughout my life. I'm not trying to go out like that.
It’s been 18 months and I’m a lot better. I miss seeing my daughter everyday though. Learning to accept that was the hardest part of the first year, I’m starting to get used to it now. The future looks a lot better on the past. It helps because I wasn’t married for a long time, 3 years in total. We were together for 2 years before we split. The marriage was really over in 2 years and I guess I went through some of the break up emotions in the last year. I’ll never forget the first day I slept at my new place. I had no furniture, no fridge, no stove, just my clothes, a bed and my car and my guitars. You build up slowly. 1 item at a time. If like me, you lose all the “couple” friends you had because she went and lied about you and turned everyone against you, leaving you with nobody. You will make new friends, get out there. You will find new places to be. Take your time, keep your head down and rebuild your life. One day you won’t wish it hadn’t ended. You will be grateful that you dodged misery for the rest of your life.
There should be laws in place. To punish homewreckers, and to punish people that cheat in a marriage - so marriages are protected better Especially home wreckers
I would go further. If one spouse cheats, that person (usually her since he already assume this risk) forfeits custody, will pay support and alimony till the child(ren) is/are 18. If the incentives are removed on (usually)her end, she may think twice about the risk.
Shared custody matters, regardless of parenting time situations. Those parents out there who are still putting in the work to protect their rights, keep going. Agree with the message to encourage all to not give up. It will pass and it’s up to us to choose and reframe.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
During my divorce, the thought of suicide entered my mind but I immediately refused to contemplate it. Even though I was a complete mess at the time, a part of me knew that I would be OK. It would just take time...
It was hard for me to keep going, but I just kept telling myself that I would never have to go through this again. Life really is better on the other side. Glad I made it.
6 months into mine, still sucks just as much now. course she found someone 2 weeks after she left me and is still with them. i also didnt entertain the though but it was understandable why some might do it. still hell atm. having a kid together makes it so much worse.
@@taden2007 if your ex got a new man just after two weeks from separating from you, that says more about her than you. If she moves on that quick, then believe me, your way better off without her.
I agree. The courts are against dads. But you have to prepare your case...put in 200% effort. Complaining does not win custody cases. Strategizing and out-maneuvering a gender biased judge wins custody cases. And you have to do that to protect your children from the court's terrible decision-making.
At this time of writing I'm currently in a legal battle to finalize dividing the assets (married for two years, no kids), the divorce itself was finalized in early 2017 (it's a two step process in NL). This is taking two years due to some resistance by my ex wife to provide a single signature at a notary act. So yeah it takes a lot of time. Fortunately, I have a VERY good lawyer. She is particular good in helping me go through this. All I can recommend for now is hire a good lawyer who keeps the emotional and financial part of the divorce separated. Nevertheless, I am confident I will win and finish this soon... What I've done so far myself is trying to improve myself, this channel has helped a lot so far. This is what I've done so far: - I bought a car, one I've always wanted - Start exercising and live a more healthy lifestyle - Change job, not wait for it until it's over - Resist the temptation to go MGTOW, not all women are evil just be a bit more careful (chase excellence not women) - New girlfriend Once it's all finished I will tell you my story when I make a donation. Some things may be very interesting especially in Dutch family law because it doesn't automatically protect the wife during a divorce...
@@allysonhanks9159 I am not too bad, thanks for asking. I was able to maintain everything so far except the new girlfriend. I guess it's complicated when people are struggling to take decisions and try to be rational... Of course 3 years ago I couldn't know we were thrown into the well-known social experiment starting with a 'C'. Fortunately, the legal battle is way behind me and I moved on... As Richard stated in this video, it is a painfully slow process, especially if the opponent's lawyer and the courts themselves are sandbagging it dramatically...
@@allysonhanks9159 I don't know if I believe in miracles since I have no proper understanding the definition of a miracle, nor am I aware if I ever experienced it. BTW, I live in a small village in The Netherlands... Please elaborate on the definition of miracles, I may learn something...
Thanks for all you do Rich its valuable information every man should hear,I was married 23 years been divorced 3 years now and you are so right about everything in this video
You never really know your wife until the divorce. Early in the process right now. But passing shit tests and red pill ideas have made it easier so far.
@Gordon G We had Dorothy and Toto throw a bucket of water on our witch. She didn't want Momma or her boyfriends wife to know about her adultery. She melted.
glad to hear that it is going as well as possible for you. I love hearing about and reading this stuff. I'm not in it, but one thing I picked up on that is great is the idea of not leaving your home during the divorce. Genius because though uncomfortable- it's your home, and it is financially sensible for you to stay as long as possible! Thank you Mr. Cooper, and the rest of you helpful folks!
Be advised gentlemen; most women who file for divorce know you'll be suicidal, they kind of hope you'll "do it". That way, it's over and they get it all! When it happens, THEY will play the victim. Don't give her that satisfaction!
I love catching a glimpse of the male psyche through your vids. But this one was just too sad. This stuff is heart wrenching. It makes me take a step back and be thankful that I’m in a loving marriage albeit imperfect but respectful, productive and secure. Shout out to anyone hurting...it was never supposed to end like this. You can do it, you’re enough. You’re worthy of life and love. *Hugs*
Great advice. It is totally about treading water until you find that place you can put your feet down, if only to take a few deep breaths and move on. Exercise, keep alcohol to a minimum, focus on work if you have a good job, grab any moment of joy when it's stuff like laughing at a tv comedy, lean on your friends and family, and most of all accept the constant pain as part of you now. It will ease in time. I can't promise it will go completely but you will learn to bear it and make it part of your life experience as a more complete person.
thank you, I'm 29, went trough a divorce last year after giving my 20s to a 7 year relatuonship.., it's so hard to find compassion in other men, guys my age are looking to settle down and are soo naive..
Rich divorce broke me…..financially, emotionally and kids suffered. The idea of a gun in my mouth crossed my mind everyday. Getting over it and getting out of that pit that’s dug for ya is the trick to recovering. Great honest video. And kids…..don’t think divorce can’t happen to you, I thought that too 🤡
Most of the guys I know are either divorced or remarried and both tell me not to get married. The guys that remarried wish they were single again. Basically women don’t give a crap about you. They just want your money and put you through hell!
You’re putting all women in the same basket and that’s not fair. We’re all different, just like men . Don’t be soo quick to judge someone. Just think before making quick decisions.
How is it going? My wife has told me she wants a divorce over literally nothing. Her mother in law has been so involved and killed my relationship. I am so depressed, stressed and lost at the moment. Feel so hurt. Can’t eat or sleep. I am so lost...
Hi 💢, sending you a lot of love and positive energy. The Relationship restorer(Dr Steve) who helped me with my divorce situation can help you out. He can help you with your divorce problems and restore your Relationship. I will advise you seek his help thanks....🙏💓
I'm so glad I found all of your videos Richard. It makes me feel a lot better about myself knowing that I made the right decision avoiding marriage in my life so far and built a comfortable lifestyle for me. The red pill brought so much more clarity to my mind.
Best way to survive, is to not get married! ... been there, done it TWICE ... lost damn near all my money, savings and self respect ... been single for 11 years now, and have more money than any other time in my life, and nobody is going to piss it away or steal it again!!!
Raw T it just seems so obvious not to get married to us enlightened guys ...I feel so sorry for all the chumps...cos they will have to deal with divorce...we never will 👍
no bs yeah I feel sorry for them too, but some blokes get what they deserve. I struggle at work because I’m surrounded by cucks, it’s hard to relate to them and their cuckold ways...
The best thing you can do if you are thinking of suicide is to take a holiday. Take yourself out to a movie eat at expensive resteraunts buy something nice for yourself like a new coat, three piece suit, or the latest power tool. Going on a vacation for a week helps. You don't have to go to the Bahamas. Another thing you can do is buy a pet. It could be a pet mouse , rat, cat or a dog. Dogs are best and have been known to relieve stress. Watching funny movies will help you pull yourself together. Get a new haircut. Talk to yourself in the mirror and smile will help lift yourself up. There are certain music that will help to. But if you are suffering from a divorce your going to want time for yourself to grieve and mentally get over it and your going to want to take as much time as you want.
I had no idea after a while of listening to rich, he actually contemplated suicide with his divorce. Respect! Thanks for putting yourself out there in the public! I’m merely contemplating divorce and looking at the next 6,12, 18 months of my how to improve my life and being a great dad after being soul crushed knowing it’s over. I empathize the pain anyone goes through being a decent man and dealing with female BS to even the point of suicide. The Bible is right. No false idols. Very wise and simply put.
@dc2355. We have to come out stronger on the side. Not just for us, but the kids will benefit also. Best we can do is make better versions of ourselves, not to impress others, but to be happy, no better remedy. All the best. 💪🏾✌🏾
Mgtow men spread the word. FEE $ male nature is not for only one man ever so don't sighn a contract that you will lose it all if you cheat but she is all good if she does CNN Clintons news network
Keep separate bank accounts, no matter how she tries to shame you about it. If she leaves you and cleans out your joint bank account, the courts will probably not do anything about it.
It has now been 15 months for me. It still hurts bad but I can see light. I may start a divorce care group for men. But it’s not an easy road. I thank God that I have made it this far. I am 57.
Had four years in the divorce court. It literally almost killed me. I’m a risk-averse finance guy. If I fully understood the risks before I got married, I would have never had chosen it as a matter of one thing: survival.
Divorce is one of life's hard learned lessons. A very valuable life lesson. You can make it through to the light if you have, as in my case, one good friend and a few relatives that were there for me in the darkest part of the divorce. Now after four years I am in the light. In some ways it was a blessing in disguise. I have learned who I am as a person. Discovery of self is an enlightenment. You realize by discovering yourself why you attract the type of people that bring you down. We all learn from our mistakes. Bottom line, you married the bitch. Find yourself so it doesn't happen again.
From experience in the US, if you’re a male who gets custody, don’t count on a judge to enforce child support payments. All 3 of mine are nearly all grown. Still waiting and not holding my breath. Just a FYI.
That's interesting, I was ordered to pay child support while I was still living in the house, trying to get my affairs in order to leave. Still diapering and taking care of my child during that time. I hate how men are treated.
we think we're in control but ultimately got in. Pretty good video you hit to the heart of what the real issue is the feeling where you're helpless hopeless etc does infect you thank you for making the video.
Thank you man I needed this. Going through this right now. Long term financially I know I will be more than good but in the short term not sure if I am ready to exit financially.
Found your content shortly after getting married…got skeptical then stopped listening. Now I’m back after initiating the divorce. This guy knows what he’s talking about. Don’t be stupid and get married ( at least in the western world). Listen to him!
GREAT stuff, Richard! Marriage is a business deal- enter it as such and- just like a business deal- plan for your exit BEFORE you enter the deal. (Even if you're NOT a business owner.)
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12 years post divorce here. Good video.
If you're going through it now it's not just BS when you see people say it gets better. I'm happier now than when I was married and thought everything was good.
Simple advice if you're going through it. Don't do anything you'll regret later. Don't spend forever being angry at her. If you have kids take every step thinking about how they'll look at it when they're an adult. Keep your calm around her, especially with kids involved.
You "win" against her by being a better and happier person.
Why not just walk the f away
After 17 years we picked up, sold hour house and moved to another state. I left my friends, family, started a new job and bought a nice house. Now she wants a divorce. I’m stuck here with no friends, no family or support. I want to get back to my home state but will leave here with less than I had when I was 20. I’m now 55. The stress is killing me. Renting is expensive and I barely have enough for the move let alone a security deposit and furniture or ? I’ll probably never own my home again. I’m sad, angry, confused, exhausted and scared. I’m not saying don’t ever get married but once again I’m laying here at 4am because I can’t sleep......
I wish I saw this earlier. Hang in there friend. Seek out your friends. They will help you get back on your feet.
How are things with you now ? After 2 years from ur post.. Hope better
I feel the exact same way man, peace and love.
Same happening to me 51 starting over lost half of everything I worked for
@@Mar1wan1 I can say it was one of the hardest things I ever went through but I survived. I did move back to my home state. I’ve been living in a less than ideal apartment/area since I got back here but I’m able to save money for a new house when the right situation comes up. Even if the house thing doesn’t work, I’ll have a good amount of savings for whatever I need it for. I threw myself into exercise, fitness and diet which worked out well. I was able to do a short triathlon. It was a good goal. My job has worked out well with opportunities for some travel. My ex and I are friends. In fact she is going on vacation next week and while she is gone I am able to stay at the house and use her car for my vacation travels (for some much needed hiking). It’ll save me a bunch of money…
Based on that, if I had any advice to share it would be: Take the high road. Be as nice as you can possibly be (I know it seems impossible) but don’t make a bad situation worse. Then strive to be the best version of yourself. Find inspiration. Get yourself healthy. For me it was an amazing learning experience that builds confidence and will set yourself up for a healthy future as we/I get older. There is no downside to it.
Divorce survivor here. Rich is spot on. My second life, life after divorce, is absolutely awesome! I have way more wealth, way less stress, and life is so much better than I ever imagined it could be. Keep you heads up. The only way to get through hell is to keep on walking.
I thank you for this. I’m currently going through a divorce. It’s hell
@@90syungin51 it is hell. Sorry man. You will get through it. It may not feel like it but it will end. Mine took 3-1/2 years and cost me about $250k, but the other side was worth it. Keep your head up.
Me too....
I'm currently in the process of getting divorce
One thing I would add to all this. If your 45-60 and going through divorce and you think its bad, you need to keep how bad it is in mind because just imagine how much worse it will be if you get married again and then go through another divorce when your 60-75. The point of this story is don't do it again! It's a game that the only way you can win is to not play!
39 and past 4years nothing but courts allegations and survived divorce and I decided to walk away because exactly...why play a game where the rulebook is written for the woman I 💯 agree
I lost my brother by suicide over a woman. My brother was a rocket scientist so every time I hear the one about you do not need a rocket scientist to figure it out I think of my brother. This along with three other friends of mine took their own lives because of a broken heart. I know of not one woman who has taken their life over a man.
.. So very very true
Men are idiots when in love, women don’t fall in love
That's because women have nothing to lose and everything to gain with a divorce. For men, a divorce is not only emotionally but also financially a total death sentence.
That’s because bitches don’t care about anything but themselves
I lost a friend after his fiance called it off, he couldn't handle it, he was crushed. Woman move on so much more faster
My wife got tired of sleeping with me. Spent two years building a new home together. A month after we moved in, she asked for the divorce. We have a 6 yo son. It almost destroyed me. There was a solid month where I had intrusive thoughts of deleting myself. 6 months later, I have 50% custody and she is paying me child support because she was a corporate executive and I had supported her, even staying home with our kid for the first two years. I'm lucky at 45 I still look 35. All my hair, and no gut. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, though it still hurts to be discarded. Only time will heal, but you have to make it and be patient to yourself, and forgive yourself for being wrecked and not being stronger or doing all the right things at the right time.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
I was divorced by my drug abusing wife. She left me and our 2 children. It hurt, but about 6 months after she was gone, I had money, new vehicle, new Harley, and women from 20 to 45 throwing themselves at me. Been 23 years now and it is awesome
Been divorce for 18 years. Lost everything .....am 52 finish paying child support..after 18 years..still trying to recuparate...this man here tells the truth....
You don’t know a woman until you meet them in court
And there they are all the same. 🎉
🥶
😈
Thank you for this…Im going through this after 28 years of marriage. My heart is broken…fortunately the kids are grown…but my wife has changed. I feel lost…have had those thoughts of “what’s the point?” I get angry, then overwhelmed…find myself sleeping alot. I work full time…really all thats left is to sell the house and figure out whats next…but I loved this women and gave her everything. She just quit on us….its the worst feeling I’ve ever had.
25 years the rug was snatched from under me. I get it
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
I completely understand. Can't understand why people don't understand that didn't understand, till death do us appart.
@@alexandrabanderas9411 Rough night for me….find myself dwelling on it. I was good enough to raise three kids that were not mine….good enough to pay bills and provide for her….but almost suddenly, poof….thats it. She seems fine with letting 25++ years just fall away….and Im unsure of what to do with myself now. Inner voice is saying quit the job….cash out the retirement….and just hit the road with a trcuk and a camper….spend six months traveling.
All the same experience. It will get better. You will find someone new. Don't judge against your former spouse. Go slow. Deep breathe. See a psychiatrist for therapy and meds. Sleep is depression. We all have it.
I've been divorced now for about 11 years, fantastic advice, I had a motto, "Live Forward" meaning don't lament on the past, live for the present, set goals even easy short term goals, reward yourself...
You deserve to live in pain and misery.
Great advice 👍
I love this motto, thank you
Thank you
24 years married ( she stayed at home ) and 30 years together, I ended up with all 4 of my sons with me and she pays child support and I kept our family home . Theirs hope , the emotional stress goes on and takes time to heal from ….
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
@@kennethzell8221 was she a drug addict? How does a stay at home mother wind up paying child support it makes no sense bc she can't
72yo American here in Cambodia these past 18 years. Married the much younger woman who divorced me a couple of years ago for her cousin 5 years her junior as we now have about $2 million in assets and I am "old and ugly". All the assets (mainly land and houses) are in her name under Cambodian law. I got a fair ~50/50 settlement in the lower Court, which recognized our pre-nup (no alimony), recognized my 100% financial contribution to the properties, and gave me custody of the children. I got a fair trial in the Court of Appeals, and am awaiting a Supreme-fucking Court trial - which I will also win. My 12yo son bravely and voluntarily stood in front of the Court and said he wanted to live with me. The moral of this story is that women don't want fairness, they want EVERYTHING, even at the cost of severely damaging their relationship with their children. So hang in there guys, don't take it lying down, and certainly 'don't go quietly into the night.'
Hello Bruce, how are you’re doing today.
So much for Asian women , women’s nature is universal.
18 yrs of child support, so broke I had to sell plasma twice a week for 10 yrs to make it but I finally got thru that hell and so can you. Hang in there. Shared custody is good advice, wish I had known that back when
The most expensive meal a man can have is wedding cake.
54 here, lost a million dollars in my most recent divorce. Not much to some. But every penny I have made in my life. The attorney got half of that. My suggestion is other than get married in the first place. Liquidate. Before anything happens. Stash it with your friends. Not your family. Make complicated investments, not as a standard practice. But have business partners you trust. People she doesn't know, and people she can't fuck...
all iknow Sorry for your loss. The time it took to make that money can’t be replaced.
I am sorry big fella. I have seen this up close, good men who lost a quarter of what you did and could never get back up. choosing suicide as the way out. A lot of pain out there. A lot.
@@AchillesNYC
Its not that most men are retarded its that most men are blue pilled and are indoctrinated by the gynocentric matrix.
How many times have you been married?
@Gordon G well it's off to SE Asia for you with your 401K. Live, eat and fornicate like a king for life!
Rich, Man U don’t know how much I needed this video right now, thanks.
NO woman who has left you, married or girlfriend is worth your LIFE, NONE.
Thanks for the info, Rich!
If you are contemplating suicide think of this poem -
"Thier was a man who had the blues because he had no shoes, untill upon the street he met a man with no feet"
Pain is relative. Pull the pin..
A temper and bad decision making are luxuries you can’t afford.Use the Divorce as energy for- Self Improvement- your focus determines your reality.
Thank you for the words of encouragement and truth. I had the rope around my neck about a year ago. I'm so happy I didn't follow through. I decided to stop and just have a bite before I did it. Then, I fell asleep. Each day started getting just a tiny bit better but it was enough to believe it could get much better with enough of those days.
My advice, never take your own life 1) hungry, 2) tired, or 3) alone.
Good to hear mate hope you are in a better place?
@@carlmarch9591 much better! Thank you.
@@christophershreiner5114 great to hear mate 👍
It's so hard to understand this when you are in it. But it's the truth.
I totally agree with you! Split custody as best as possible combined with a one foot in front of the other mentally will see you though. I too had deep depression, but that will pass and one day your life will definitely be better!!! Hang in there brothers!
Divorce for a man, is a harrowing experience, especially when you have children, you can handle the finances, as a man you can handle that, but when you have children, the emotional roller coaster is a head fuck, but stay strong!! Because the odds are against you, the women have the upper hand, been through it, as the man says, there is a light at the end of tunnel, your children are not stupid remember that!!
I fudging need this right now, thank you. I have my good days and bad ones but “this too shall pass” also rings in my ears too. You survive by not self-deleting, make yourself a mental point of origin, have hobbies, and make more money. I have failed in all these aspects but making the change.
how are you doing now? do you have kids and how often do you see them if so? how about you and the dating world? thanks for replying
It’s insane how high divorce rates are. My younger brother was a Tom cruise look alike growing up had all and any woman he wanted - he’s single and doesn’t want to get married - not bc he likes dating bu bc of avoiding this..it’s so sad I’ll never preach to him “get married stert a family “ again...
Herakles - it’s pretty hilarious when the media tries to portray that divorce rates are dropping and even pontificating that people are getting married “smarter and later in life” blah blah... then don’t mention the “rate” is dropping as vast numbers of men are just passing on living with women altogether.
So the great numbers are supported by religious sub groups of people in society getting married out of religious duty - whom have always had low divorce rates...
The learning is two fold in this video... you can survive, and those looking through the window.. don’t do it!
All a man has to say to me is that he's been through a divorce.....and I understand him.
Mine cost me $60K, and her $80K. And I’m a government worker. Kids were involved. The key takeaway from what Richard shares is that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. 12 years post divorce and I shudder to think of having stayed with her till my twin boys were 18 (this year). I’d be dead by now had I not filed for divorce in ‘06.
Luminous U , yeah there were many red flags. But I was in my mid-20’s and naive and completely blue pill, back in the day. Now, I tell my young adult sons to wait till they’re 30 before they commit to a woman, like Rollo Tomasi espouses. This gives time for the big head to start overruling the little head, too.
What made you file? It’s usually the wife that does the filing. Glad you’re doing well pal.
Keep Going , I had had enough of her abuse, especially her swearing at me and calling me names in front of my (then) eight-year-old son. I reached my breaking point, and decided that I wasn’t going to have my three sons believe that it’s OK for a woman to treat them like their mother was treating me. So I filed, she was totally surprised and all hell broke loose with the wrath of all the gods in all the heavens, from her. But it was still worth it.
Andre Best man don’t tell them to wait till 30, I was 31 and still got shellacked.
@@CanadianAndre good for you Andre. I’ve seen men become a shadow of their former selves through years of mental abuse from their wives. I refused to let that happen to me so took the decision to leave, save my self respect, my sanity and most all save a good relationship with my two boys. I also tell other guys before you commit make sure you really know who your going to marry, especially this day & age, where we live in a culture where it’s almost acceptable to totally f#*k the man over and ruin his life, whilst the women walks away cash in hand and happy.
All your videos are helping me heal, and I'm learning so much. Thanks Rich!
"Choose Your Own Adventure." Loved those books as a kid. Great video as always, sir.
Love you brother you are a light at the end of the tunnel. We all need more people like you and I blessed that I found you on this resource.
Marriage is the #1 cause of Divorce Don’t get married
Sweet simplicity
My wife hired a female divorce lawyer and life became a nightmare. The unethical trickery was unbelievable. Neither she or her lawyer acted in the best interest of the kids. Their game-playing pushed me towards suicide. Fortunately I chose not to go that route.
@@walkyria1 My first wife divorce raped me. She was screwing around with a younger dude. My second wife died from cancer. Now I am MGTOW.
Thank you, I know how u felt I'm going through it now, As tempting as it is I can't do that , I have been close.
@@deltaskyhawk Nah bro. There are good people out there. Sorry for your loss. Find the good and be good yourself.
i'm happy you are doing well
@@deltaskyhawk what is divorce rape?
I think If you are deemed a threat to the children probably the best scenario would be to keep your distance for a while. Don't add fuel to the fire. Don't risk being seen as an abusive person. Let tensions simmer down. Do what they tell you. Off course give yourself time to mourn. But not too long. Then start slowly taking steps to rebuild yourself.
Thank you so much for this Richard. I am one of those guys that got reamed, royally, reamed. I had to live in my car for a year. Felt like I was back in my twenties. But! yes, there is a light at the end. All you guys going through this, you need to open your eyes and ears and listen to what we are telling you. Guys always think it's our fault, it not! Get through the divorce as fast as possible. Do Not engage in the 'back and forth" argument. And, above all, no contact with her.
Divorce is one of the worst things that can happen to a man. I sincerely thank all of my miserable married and divorce friends who've warned me about just how bad marriage can get. Any rational man(reference intended), would be very honest about what a grave risk marriage is.
@Beth Éireann I disagree, it's very good for young men to avoid marriage. Divorce is the fastest and easiest legal transfer of resources in the Western world. Many people have broken down the specifics of why the ancient contract of marriage doesn't work in the modern world. All factors included, marriage actually has something like a 75%-85% fail rate. It's not even in the same category as rape, car accidents or domestic abuse(which is often a failure at the marriage level as well.)
@Beth Éireann It's absolutely true if you don't just look at divorce, but also include separation, issues with children, sexless marriage, marriage with infidelity, or marriages where one or both partners express deep unhappiness.
@Beth Éireann Every person is in control of their own happiness. Whether they accept that control or not, is entirely up to them...when they're single. Once you're married, your partner's happiness or lack thereof greatly impacts yours until you leave. This is why marriage can feel like prison. Most illness goes away with a lot more meditation/exercise and a lot less sugar.
@Beth Éireann We agree on that point. The problem is, most people don't work on themselves, so those that do will find it very hard to find someone compatible. the main problem is that if a marriage goes wrong, it is literally one of the worst things that can possibly happen to a man. It could mean financial ruin, the loss of his family or both. It is one of the leading causes of suicide among men and it's not right to let young men engage that risk without warning them. We all want it to be better, but right now it's in a bad state and needs to be treated accordingly.
@@PatronHall what should my friend do ? Should he get a lawyer or is that just too much money and a waste of time
Tip: Don't let your wife/girl cut you off from your friends. You might need those brothers to lean on if things go upside down. Don't let your family consume your identity. That is not what responsibility looks like. That's servitude. I've never been that married but I have been that friend.
the second she tries to separate you from your life long friends....get rid of her immediately..big red flag.
That is one of the most popular opening moves in the female playbook. That’s the whole point of marriage for them, to separate you from your resources by any means necessary.
Happened to me. Spot on. Thank goodness my friend has hung in there, waiting for me to see the light....he's here for me now as i go through it.
This was the mistake i made
I have 0 friends and am somewhat close with my brother and parents. Once I finish my treatment and got a job I plan on getting involved in some MMA, woodworking, go to the gym, etc. anything to get me in the room with real masculine Men. Her friends are her friends!
Thanks for your content Rich. This pep talk helps. My singular focus is on our two kids. I’ve put in these foundation years, they take comfort in me, I’ve cultivated a bond I hope is an unbreakable foundation, but this divorce, …she can’t handle our son, let alone both kids at the same time. I’m worried for my kids’ well-being. Sure, Kid’s are resilient and they’ll get through it and figure out how to navigate this, I feel bad about it, we’ll get whatever counseling we need, I’m not worried. But what worries me is our son has a real medical issue, epilepsy. My wife literally can’t handle it, or him, along with our 20 mo baby. I think shared custody shouldn’t be too much of an issue, but I don’t see how she can manage both kids on the days she’ll have them. She can’t do it now, but on top of it is our son’s medical condition….I’m frustrated, angry, fair enough, I’m going to try for primary custody as I can better care for our kids and keep them together, but I’m also losing everything financially that also provides our foundation to care for them. Whole world being ripped apart by a narcissistic sociopath who’s unwilling to go to family counseling to better relate to her son and develop better tools to understand his needs and condition. Ignorance by choice and with it just lay waste to the family stability. Deep disappointment. Just taking it one day at a time, trying to keep my bullet-points in order centered on my kids well-being first. With all assets about to go up in smoke, makes it real hard to do what’s needed for my kids. Hoping for the best, but not feeling confident…we’ll see. Putting a lot of faith in my lawyer, hope that’s not too misguided. Wish me luck fellas, I’m gonna need it. I thought putting in the ground work in our kids’ early years would be enough, but they can’t calculate the little things, like both kids are snuggled up with me every night while she’s in another room, the kids literally seek me out for their comfort….where to the courts calculate that? Where do the factor in that I’m the one who takes them to all their appointments, meets with the teachers, works on the homework…they don’t seem to see it. Just divide up the assets and bleed the man out. I carried the burden so she could build her businesses, most of which have lost money and most years she barely made anything, but my time is consumed sustaining my career, providing our base, and providing the emotional connection the kids seek and don’t get from her, where do the courts calculate that sweat equity? Not feeling confident they do. Will be finding out in the coming months and years of this BS stupidity though. Nothing seems to matter, just money. Enough is never enough today. Success is never successful enough. Slayed dragons, conquered mountains, overcome abject poverty, you’re still never enough. Society is unrelenting at delivering its insidious beatdown in one malicious form or another. Again, hoping for the best but leery of the worst to come…likely we’ll land somewhere in the middle. The kids deserve better than this…that’s the great disappointment and the only piece I’m dialed in to do as much as I can about. I’ll tell ya though, it’s no wonder so many guys simply walk away. It’s too damn hard
Thank you, Rich for encouraging words. This is exactly what I am going through right now.
17 years and seven kids. She served me papers 3 weeks ago. I'm back in the gym after 10 years. I lost 25 lbs due to betrayal and lack of sleep. It was painful, but I'm starting to feel better about it. I'll keep you posted.
Keep pushing mate we are all in this together all the best from England 🏴
Keep that Eye of the Tiger, brother.
16 years two kids 😢 two days ago one day after my 42 birthday she told me she’s not in love with me any more ! Now we really are best friends so I think will get through it easy on legal and financial end but this is the worst man shit 🤦🏻♂️
@@stephencharboneau7889 a day after your birthday?! These women don’t give an F about us men
@@Kennan_Davis U AINT NEVA LIED 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
Thank you, Brother. My second marriage is about to end and I was feeling like a failure and suicidal but listening to you has given me hope.
Divorce is so common we’ve come up with a new term: conscious uncoupling.
And half think it’s bad for kids while the other thinks it can be good. Life is hard, kiddo, face it and get through it.
That’s not my place. I was a boy with divorced parents. Very dark place for a kid. Your entire foundation shattered. Decades later, I’m now the dad or ex-dad and it’s astonishing. Do we learn nothing as we age?
Once a father, always a father. Sure, but a dad is in the home. My ex changed her name back. Kids don’t share her name and don’t have dad in the house. That’s foundational.
It gets better is a lie. I’ll get thru this. They will get thru this. But there is a debt which can never be paid.
Thanks a lot for your advices Rich! I'm 24 and was never married. But your content saved me from my Oneitis syndrome. My blue pilled father was and is a great provider for me, but he never taught me these valuable lessons.
Thank you brother. Words spoken from a man that has walked through something and learned are gold.
When my ex and I were splitting up I thought driving in front of a logging truck which I saw many of near my home. I never did but I was very upset over the lies my ex told about me. I found out through public court records she tried to get a restraining order against me and failed. That did not stop her lawyer from "ordering" me from going on my own property. I felt like going to his office to punch him out. He had no authority to say that to me. After going to my property to pick up some of my tools I got a call from a police officer. I immediately got my back up and asked him what the point of his call was. He admitted that there was no legal reason I could not go to my property so I calmed down. He explained that she was "worried" or some other female bullshit he had to follow up on. He did go on to say that he could hear in my voice that I was very upset and that as a man who has been through divorce that is DOES get better. That he promised me, and he was right. It was comforting to hear something like that at that time from a total stranger who was also a authority figure. After watching this video I wanted to share a small part of my story. Peace!
Wonderbread Warrior good cop
Fake Account, Its never too late to drive your vehicle in front of a logging truck.
@@Janine466 Your unempathic comment Totally uncalled for. Makes me Think 🙈
Glad that you did not drive in front of a logging truck for a number of reasons....it would have caused unneeded stress and guilt in the innocent truck drivers life and there is a chance that you may have become severely injured with major handicaps and not dead, a burden to yourself and others.
Pretty much same situation here. hang in there dude I know you're going to do good and also thank you for your post it was encouraging to me. Obviously you didn't drive in front of the logging truck that was very difficult not to do but yet you manned up and did it best wishes to you.
To all men out there I have a message for you as well. Always make sure you have a plan B in place. This is a fully thought out and constantly updated plan of action to cope if your wife walks in one night and tells that’s it. Even if you are in a completely happy marriage you must have a plan B. A plan B will save your life. My very exciting plan B should my happy marriage end is to find a nice house renovate it quickly to my taste and then go off riding my adventure bike around the world learning about people’s cultures. Just having a plan makes you not stress about possible traumas. My plan B has every little detail covered so if the nightmare starts it goes straight into action and takes care of me. I am now caring for three blokes that are on the edge as we speak. Each one said to me what’s the point in being here. Nice one Richard you probably have saved a good few chaps 👍
You are a saint...good on you...those guys need you...they're lucky to have you👍 these poor guys...tell them to get absorbed in mgotw and these vids
Great Idea man, just like the stoics said: "If you contemplate the possibility of things not going your way, you keep your balance qhen the situation arrises.".
Plan B is all very well unless you have kids, then wether you like it or not you are at the mercy of the family court system. Also take my word for it, you have never known a woman until you meet her in court.
Most married women have a plan B. She will start putting it into action a minimum of 6 months before she files for divorce. The more you have to lose, the sooner she starts it. I know a woman who's ex husband owned a couple businesses and she bragged to me about how she started planning her escape 4 years before
Buddy's Insight - great to see you helping out your friends.
But why get married at all if you don’t plan for kids. That’s just a bad play.
And if you have kids then the whole plan B might as well be plan Z... cause you won’t be deciding much.
Guys need a plan A. Plan A is never marry a women below you in social standing, job, or wealth prospects.
Kind of exactly what a woman does using her charm and vagina....
We need to smarten the F up... judging by the current marriage stats of all the ladies living alone past 30 I’d say men are starting to figure it out... slowly
It's really bad here in EU as well. In my small country, 90% of judges that deal with divorce...are women. There is a huge society of divorced man who are now suing the government for discrimination when it comes to the custody of kids. Women almost always get custody automatically.
which country ?
@@CLIPSFAMILYGUY I presume it's a scandinavian country or possibly france/germany/netherlands
Good one brother, you don't know just how many lives you may have saved. There is hope.
Hello Jimmy, how are you’re doing today.
Divorce in the western world is specifically designed to protect the interests of women at all costs. Women must be protected from all possible harm or disadvantage.
Men are the ones who pay almost the entire cost of relationship failure.
Men are mostly the ones who pay for everything. During my marriage I was he sole payer of our mortgage, but because the mortgage was in her name as well as mine, she took 50% of the money we made off the house sale, despite me paying for the house for over 10 years.
Great words, Richard! My best friend has recently divorced due to infidelity on his wife’s part. I’ve been following you and RMG since inception, read a couple of books, mainly by Rollo etc...I’ve swallowed the proverbial red pill and try to live my life accordingly. Now I’m unplugging my friend and he’s progressing very fast. Definitely I will pass your words of wisdom on coping with divorce to him. Thanks, bro, far all you do!
Wife has NPD and BPD, psychologist told me. I see the kids about ten hours a week. They are young, oldest is 10. I’m afraid to leave her alone because these people are self destructive. No assets to divide. Moved out six months ago, so far best six months of my life. Live happily alone. Keeping my eyes out if I hear of anybody worth dating but in no rush. Life I beautiful and precious.
Thanks for mentioning diet and exercise. Since my divorce I have treated myself badly. I need to treat myself better and do the work.
Guys, if you are considering marriage do not even consider a pre-nuptual agreement as judges are throwing them out as wimmin are saying you forced them to sign it with no proof, and just like false assault or rape allegations with no proof the judges believe wimminz.
The answer to keeping your lifes work and sanity legally is an irrevocable trust, not a prenuptial agreement.
@@brnt034
If you do both a judge may pick the prenuptial agreement to destroy you.
Don't give them that option.
Been Divorced 3 times and agree with everything you say, yes it’s difficult for men getting Divorced but life gets better once divorced but getting there is a rocky road. Divorce for me involved everything bad that could happen to a person went from having 4 houses great lifestyle to going through Bankruptcy and loosing everything including my kids from my ex wife poisoning them. But I am more happy than I’ve ever been but you have to help yourself get there. Invest in yourself it’s not your fault.
Nice talk well done,
Hello, how are you’re doing today.
Dont get married. Got it. Thank you for your advice.
Message is never old. Thank you
Q: "Why is divorce so expensive?"
A: "Because it's worth it!"
I got lucky in my divorce, my ex was not smart, she gave me majority of our belongings so I would sign the papers and she could go out and get laid. I never had kids,dont want kids... so no custody battle/child support. Now everything was fine and dandy after the divorce until 2 years later I sold the house and made a nice Penny on it and she actually try to get a piece of that even though the divorce papers were final LOL women can get crazy when money is involved no matter who they are or what you have...
They wont do any thing for love but they will for money.
You never really know a women untill you divorce her.
@@LiftOffLife True .
Didn't want to pay a dime for the house, but sure ass shit wanted half your stack when the chips were up.
@@walkyria1"she gave me majority of our belongings so I would sign the papers and she could go out and get laid" she made her choice
I told myself I will never allow this world nor a woman to get me to the point if wanting to end myself ever again. I will stay single for life because I've been exposed to too many nasty divorces and fights throughout my life. I'm not trying to go out like that.
Stay strong brother, stay away from evil women.
@@michaelwhite6614 I stay away from evil people
It's crazy how we'd marry someone who would do that to us.
High Impact Cranium Penetration you never know who would do that to you . That’s why you trust no woman .
that’s thing, we never think that someone would do that. But that’s because blue pill men operate in a state that’s ignorant of women’s nature.
It’s been 18 months and I’m a lot better. I miss seeing my daughter everyday though. Learning to accept that was the hardest part of the first year, I’m starting to get used to it now.
The future looks a lot better on the past. It helps because I wasn’t married for a long time, 3 years in total. We were together for 2 years before we split.
The marriage was really over in 2 years and I guess I went through some of the break up emotions in the last year.
I’ll never forget the first day I slept at my new place. I had no furniture, no fridge, no stove, just my clothes, a bed and my car and my guitars.
You build up slowly. 1 item at a time. If like me, you lose all the “couple” friends you had because she went and lied about you and turned everyone against you, leaving you with nobody. You will make new friends, get out there. You will find new places to be. Take your time, keep your head down and rebuild your life.
One day you won’t wish it hadn’t ended. You will be grateful that you dodged misery for the rest of your life.
Thanks for this one Brother rings true there is always a weaponizatiom of the children. Appreciate your work and honesty.
There should be laws in place. To punish homewreckers, and to punish people that cheat in a marriage - so marriages are protected better
Especially home wreckers
I would go further. If one spouse cheats, that person (usually her since he already assume this risk) forfeits custody, will pay support and alimony till the child(ren) is/are 18. If the incentives are removed on (usually)her end, she may think twice about the risk.
Shared custody matters, regardless of parenting time situations. Those parents out there who are still putting in the work to protect their rights, keep going. Agree with the message to encourage all to not give up. It will pass and it’s up to us to choose and reframe.
It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝
During my divorce, the thought of suicide entered my mind but I immediately refused to contemplate it. Even though I was a complete mess at the time, a part of me knew that I would be OK. It would just take time...
It was hard for me to keep going, but I just kept telling myself that I would never have to go through this again. Life really is better on the other side. Glad I made it.
I think most men are in that place during divorce.. and even after when you’re financially destroyed and you hardly see your kids.
6 months into mine, still sucks just as much now. course she found someone 2 weeks after she left me and is still with them. i also didnt entertain the though but it was understandable why some might do it. still hell atm. having a kid together makes it so much worse.
@@taden2007 if your ex got a new man just after two weeks from separating from you, that says more about her than you. If she moves on that quick, then believe me, your way better off without her.
@@matty6848 thanks bro
My divorce lawyer told me "If you want fair there is a county fair at the fairgrounds every september".
I agree. The courts are against dads. But you have to prepare your case...put in 200% effort. Complaining does not win custody cases. Strategizing and out-maneuvering a gender biased judge wins custody cases. And you have to do that to protect your children from the court's terrible decision-making.
There is a light at the end of my tunnel I know it 🙏 God bless you for sharing brother.
Jason Rogers There is no light at the end of the tunnel for you just pain and suffering.
At this time of writing I'm currently in a legal battle to finalize dividing the assets (married for two years, no kids), the divorce itself was finalized in early 2017 (it's a two step process in NL). This is taking two years due to some resistance by my ex wife to provide a single signature at a notary act. So yeah it takes a lot of time. Fortunately, I have a VERY good lawyer. She is particular good in helping me go through this. All I can recommend for now is hire a good lawyer who keeps the emotional and financial part of the divorce separated. Nevertheless, I am confident I will win and finish this soon...
What I've done so far myself is trying to improve myself, this channel has helped a lot so far.
This is what I've done so far:
- I bought a car, one I've always wanted
- Start exercising and live a more healthy lifestyle
- Change job, not wait for it until it's over
- Resist the temptation to go MGTOW, not all women are evil just be a bit more careful (chase excellence not women)
- New girlfriend
Once it's all finished I will tell you my story when I make a donation. Some things may be very interesting especially in Dutch family law because it doesn't automatically protect the wife during a divorce...
Hello Marc, how are you’re doing today.
@@allysonhanks9159 I am not too bad, thanks for asking. I was able to maintain everything so far except the new girlfriend. I guess it's complicated when people are struggling to take decisions and try to be rational...
Of course 3 years ago I couldn't know we were thrown into the well-known social experiment starting with a 'C'.
Fortunately, the legal battle is way behind me and I moved on...
As Richard stated in this video, it is a painfully slow process, especially if the opponent's lawyer and the courts themselves are sandbagging it dramatically...
@@marcwesterink7742 Do you believe in miracles? Well I just came across your comment here that’s why I sent you a message ok
@@marcwesterink7742 I’m live in Long Beach CA. What about you?
@@allysonhanks9159 I don't know if I believe in miracles since I have no proper understanding the definition of a miracle, nor am I aware if I ever experienced it. BTW, I live in a small village in The Netherlands...
Please elaborate on the definition of miracles, I may learn something...
Thanks!
Thanks for all you do Rich its valuable information every man should hear,I was married 23 years been divorced 3 years now and you are so right about everything in this video
You never really know your wife until the divorce. Early in the process right now. But passing shit tests and red pill ideas have made it easier so far.
@Gordon G We had Dorothy and Toto throw a bucket of water on our witch. She didn't want Momma or her boyfriends wife to know about her adultery.
She melted.
billy jacobs yeah you’re right there, you don’t know your wife, until you get divorced, then you see your true wife!!!
glad to hear that it is going as well as possible for you. I love hearing about and reading this stuff. I'm not in it, but one thing I picked up on that is great is the idea of not leaving your home during the divorce. Genius because though uncomfortable- it's your home, and it is financially sensible for you to stay as long as possible! Thank you Mr. Cooper, and the rest of you helpful folks!
@@r.joseph8911 Hello, how are you’re doing today.
You're great Richard, I'm not married, but i get so much wisdom from your channel, thank you. ☺
Be advised gentlemen; most women who file for divorce know you'll be suicidal, they kind of hope you'll "do it". That way, it's over and they get it all! When it happens, THEY will play the victim. Don't give her that satisfaction!
They will be fucking another dude within a month of your suicide.
So true.
Thank you Rich for your videos. Honestly without people like you who share their experiences and helpful insights, many viewers would have suffered.
I love catching a glimpse of the male psyche through your vids. But this one was just too sad. This stuff is heart wrenching. It makes me take a step back and be thankful that I’m in a loving marriage albeit imperfect but respectful, productive and secure.
Shout out to anyone hurting...it was never supposed to end like this. You can do it, you’re enough. You’re worthy of life and love. *Hugs*
Called for counseling appt. First question was "Are you suicidal?"
Freeman Diaz I think he is. Can’t be surprised. He has been a lot. She broke him.. #HeartBroken 💔
Great advice. It is totally about treading water until you find that place you can put your feet down, if only to take a few deep breaths and move on. Exercise, keep alcohol to a minimum, focus on work if you have a good job, grab any moment of joy when it's stuff like laughing at a tv comedy, lean on your friends and family, and most of all accept the constant pain as part of you now. It will ease in time. I can't promise it will go completely but you will learn to bear it and make it part of your life experience as a more complete person.
thank you, I'm 29, went trough a divorce last year after giving my 20s to a 7 year relatuonship.., it's so hard to find compassion in other men, guys my age are looking to settle down and are soo naive..
Rich divorce broke me…..financially, emotionally and kids suffered. The idea of a gun in my mouth crossed my mind everyday. Getting over it and getting out of that pit that’s dug for ya is the trick to recovering. Great honest video. And kids…..don’t think divorce can’t happen to you, I thought that too 🤡
Most of the guys I know are either divorced or remarried and both tell me not to get married. The guys that remarried wish they were single again. Basically women don’t give a crap about you. They just want your money and put you through hell!
You’re putting all women in the same basket and that’s not fair. We’re all different, just like men . Don’t be soo quick to judge someone. Just think before making quick decisions.
1) Marriage is IPO for women
2) Divorce is cashing out.
3) Children produces passive income for women enforced by the government
How is it going? My wife has told me she wants a divorce over literally nothing. Her mother in law has been so involved and killed my relationship. I am so depressed, stressed and lost at the moment. Feel so hurt. Can’t eat or sleep. I am so lost...
Hi 💢, sending you a lot of love and positive energy. The Relationship restorer(Dr Steve) who helped me with my divorce situation can help you out. He can help you with your divorce problems and restore your Relationship. I will advise you seek his help thanks....🙏💓
+2347030894892.
How is life now?
Thank you for this video Sir. It was nice to hear what you saying because it makes sense and is true. 👍🏿
I'm so glad I found all of your videos Richard. It makes me feel a lot better about myself knowing that I made the right decision avoiding marriage in my life so far and built a comfortable lifestyle for me. The red pill brought so much more clarity to my mind.
Been there. Lost everything but trust me, it will be okay. Dont let them win. Drop it all. Only way from here is up.
Best way to survive, is to not get married! ... been there, done it TWICE ... lost damn near all my money, savings and self respect ... been single for 11 years now, and have more money than any other time in my life, and nobody is going to piss it away or steal it again!!!
You don't pay alimony or child support???
You’ve got to be SO careful with who you get married to in the first place.
Nah you can't get married ..
96% of marriages end in divorce in the US.
no bs you’re right. Who the hell gets married these days anyway? It’s 2018, not 1958
Raw T it just seems so obvious not to get married to us enlightened guys ...I feel so sorry for all the chumps...cos they will have to deal with divorce...we never will 👍
no bs yeah I feel sorry for them too, but some blokes get what they deserve. I struggle at work because I’m surrounded by cucks, it’s hard to relate to them and their cuckold ways...
The best thing you can do if you are thinking of suicide is to take a holiday. Take yourself out to a movie eat at expensive resteraunts buy something nice for yourself like a new coat, three piece suit, or the latest power tool. Going on a vacation for a week helps. You don't have to go to the Bahamas. Another thing you can do is buy a pet. It could be a pet mouse , rat, cat or a dog. Dogs are best and have been known to relieve stress. Watching funny movies will help you pull yourself together. Get a new haircut. Talk to yourself in the mirror and smile will help lift yourself up. There are certain music that will help to. But if you are suffering from a divorce your going to want time for yourself to grieve and mentally get over it and your going to want to take as much time as you want.
Help children. Buy uniforms for baseball for poor kids. Buy mitts and balls, bats give them away.
Find a way to spread kindness.
It's hard! Life is hard!
Hello Darren, how are you’re doing today.
I been riding solo since july 2018
I had no idea after a while of listening to rich, he actually contemplated suicide with his divorce. Respect! Thanks for putting yourself out there in the public! I’m merely contemplating divorce and looking at the next 6,12, 18 months of my how to improve my life and being a great dad after being soul crushed knowing it’s over. I empathize the pain anyone goes through being a decent man and dealing with female BS to even the point of suicide. The Bible is right. No false idols. Very wise and simply put.
@dc2355.
We have to come out stronger on the side. Not just for us, but the kids will benefit also. Best we can do is make better versions of ourselves, not to impress others, but to be happy, no better remedy. All the best. 💪🏾✌🏾
The best way to survive a divorce is not to get married in the first place, believe me.
True
Same, aint married, never will be, FFFUUUUCCCKKK THAT
Mgtow men spread the word. FEE $ male nature is not for only one man ever so don't sighn a contract that you will lose it all if you cheat but she is all good if she does CNN Clintons news network
@draco6543 LOL. Wargames has a meme now.
On the flip side of it, since I've never been married, I certainly feel lonely at times & wonder about the other side..the married life.
Keep separate bank accounts, no matter how she tries to shame you about it. If she leaves you and cleans out your joint bank account, the courts will probably not do anything about it.
Thank you for being so honest! I appreciate you.
It has now been 15 months for me. It still hurts bad but I can see light. I may start a divorce care group for men. But it’s not an easy road. I thank God that I have made it this far. I am 57.
Hello Stan, how are you’re doing today.
@@allysonhanks9159 fine thanks
@@stanhankins3175 Ok😊
Had four years in the divorce court. It literally almost killed me. I’m a risk-averse finance guy. If I fully understood the risks before I got married, I would have never had chosen it as a matter of one thing: survival.
Bro….care to tell more?
Divorce is one of life's hard learned lessons. A very valuable life lesson. You can make it through to the light if you have, as in my case, one good friend and a few relatives that were there for me in the darkest part of the divorce. Now after four years I am in the light. In some ways it was a blessing in disguise. I have learned who I am as a person. Discovery of self is an enlightenment. You realize by discovering yourself why you attract the type of people that bring you down. We all learn from our mistakes. Bottom line, you married the bitch. Find yourself so it doesn't happen again.
From experience in the US, if you’re a male who gets custody, don’t count on a judge to enforce child support payments. All 3 of mine are nearly all grown. Still waiting and not holding my breath. Just a FYI.
That's interesting, I was ordered to pay child support while I was still living in the house, trying to get my affairs in order to leave. Still diapering and taking care of my child during that time. I hate how men are treated.
we think we're in control but ultimately got in. Pretty good video you hit to the heart of what the real issue is the feeling where you're helpless hopeless etc does infect you thank you for making the video.
Thank you man I needed this. Going through this right now. Long term financially I know I will be more than good but in the short term not sure if I am ready to exit financially.
Found your content shortly after getting married…got skeptical then stopped listening. Now I’m back after initiating the divorce. This guy knows what he’s talking about. Don’t be stupid and get married ( at least in the western world). Listen to him!
GREAT stuff, Richard!
Marriage is a business deal- enter it as such and- just like a business deal- plan for your exit BEFORE you enter the deal.
(Even if you're NOT a business owner.)