Stella is taking on more clients for her Structure with Stella course: which will sort out your sleep pattern, eating, exercise and stress. On this course in under 10 weeks I lost 7kg, got stronger than Ive been in my life at 45, sorted out a lifelong insomnia issue (I now sleep 7 hours regularly, previously I couldnt manage more than 4 without waking up), sorted out my sleep apnea and cleared all markers for metabolic syndrome from blood panels! Recovery from narcissistic abuse takes STRENGTH, mental, emotional and physical, you must be strong and structured and live within an ordered schedule. Yes christmas is coming (cheat on christmas day, I wont tell Stella if you dont!) so get on this 8 week course and start the new year in good shape with a clear head and a healthy body! Join us here www.strongwithstella.com/strongwithstella-course
So grateful for all the material, still working on Richard, and bringing the very important, moral and ethical elements into it as well as philosophy. I know you didn’t get to swing around and focus specifically and exclusively on philosophy in this new face of your life as you wanted to this year! But you still integrate it with the work that you’re doing on personality disorders Phenomenally, well, and in ways that is often missing from most journals. Much love brother thank you. 🎉🎉🎉
It’s just occurred to me how toxic the concept of “forgive and forget” is in the context of narcissistic abuse. I’m thinking forgive but never forget and go no contact.
I heard this quote that sometimes when you're on the right path, the universe winks at you. You showing up in my life through this video, today, is the wink. Thank you.
Thank you so much. You've helped me spot a real life psychopath aswell and I'm eternally greatful. I've left a huge friend group and moved on. They're evil.
In the land of misinformation, the only thing you can trust is what you can see and what you can touch. “Telling that you have worth is not enough, you have to go and experience it.”
Yes I agree the narcissists intentions are not good for you at all, so do my best hopeful, get rid of these evil person before they intentionally destroy you emotionally
When you talk about being quite at the end ❤ Before I realised I was with a narcissist (again 🙄) I kept telling him to shhhhhh and listen to the birdsong in the morning, or listen to the motorway noise in the evening. I was so sick of him always making a noise. Talking in circles. Your videos have helped me so much thank you 🙏 a thousand times. Because I didn’t heal from the 1st one I’ve been trapped for over 20 years in a shity cycle of self destruction. Thank you so much you’ve been my angel
I think when you break free from a narcissist it’s similar to being imprisoned,as you now have this freedom and you’re wary of going out on your own cos you been damaged mentally. You will slowly discover yourself and get new friends who encourage you and don’t discourage and put you down ,it’s a new beginning and just take baby steps because you need to get to know your true self and not the person the narcissist painted you as.
Your explanation of the 2snakes, the split that I experience now really makes sense now. I am clear that what my ex husband did was wrong and immoral. Mean spirited, and his intentions are/were for me to fail and feel like shit about myself. He is a fake person with these ideas that he is good, honest, and kind. He's not. He's sick and I am working to get him our of my head and my life. I think I am more conscious now.
Oh Richard. You have helped me so much. I’m am truly grateful to you from the bottom of my heart to the top. I would love to be sitting at a campfire with you. What an enjoyable experience that would be! I’m glad you are taking care of your sleep apnea because we need you to live for a very many more years my friend. Take care.
I grieved my mother whilest she is alive. She is a narcissist. 3 years no contact. Now I saw her again because she is terminal sick. She saxs, but propably is lying again. I will grey rock and set my boundaries to seeing her every 4-5 month for a dinner. I know now she is evil. And morally twisted, lying and sabotaging. I see her. I got baptized this year. It helps me to see her as possessed by a devilish something.
How you simplify such a soul destroying situation is profound and put in terminology I myself understand so thankyou .your sence of humour is appreciated. .
They just lie and justify violence antisocial behaviour unfaithfulness And verbal abuse and on and on and until you decide to not accept bad treatment from anyone even siblings parents friends nothing will change. Once you decide to treat yourself as the valuable person you are and have self respect and love for yourself things will change. Getting boundaries and what is acceptable and unacceptable is vital for recovery. Love your talks RICHARD
I’ve just been told CPS have decided to go ahead with case against man who attacked me after few months relationship. I’m now worried I’m going to get blasted with cross examination about me being the mentally ill one. I have FND functional neurological disorder. How do I stand against this narc man without cracking up. I feel totally wrecked after the relationship and waiting counselling after getting initial assessment telling me I’m ptsd. This man needs to be charged
another very helpful metaphor. finally it makes sense what cognitive dissonance is and how it plays out in recovery from narcissistic abuse. thank you.
Somehow ended up in the resolving moral vs philosophical conflict section. Lol I’ve done it today! At WORK 😂 A recurring issue came up and this time I stood up for myself. Spoke the truth of things as I see them, because I think that is fair to me. lol the last of a week of trials. Here I was still freaking out. I did good 😂 you’re right ❤️
When I think about them I do mistakes lol hate that way of thinking they went after my money supply. Warped my mind to a bitter self that they are. I was get over it whatever I was stilled damaged still am. God bless everyone stay strong.
I broke up with my narcissistic boyfriend of 6 years one year ago. Its been almost a year today that I been tolerating him just showing up and sending flowers and trying to hoover me back. But I stood strong and did not get back with him. But still did things to try and help him of course. Its been over a week and he has not got in contact with me at all. I should be so happy that I can finally get on with my life now. I know he must have another supply or else he still be calling me. But a big part of me can't stop thinking of him. Very true they live inside your head. Thank you so much for these videos they save me or else I would of never recognized the pattern I have in.
my dad and ex husband both narcisstic and abused me physically this is really an important therapy probbaly one of the most important have heard since I started studying this a year ago. AND OF course they said I m crazy and my racist family helped my asian abuser theyre racist against to steal my kids using lies. I havent seen my kids in eight years and i got lots of your videos in my new book the art of war Im still compiling, editing and writing it. i really like your therapy style.
Richard "You got any of that narcissistic abuse man?" Lol gave me a good chuckle. Thank you for putting some light to it and why I need serious talk therapy. Down 27lbs from 240 to 213 since my initial discard of 49 days ago. 188lbs the perfect number, first goal is sub 200.
Guys ...tip on snoring...also consider *Low Histamine Diet* if you are Histamine intolerant causes swelling and irritation and hence snoring. I was eating high vols of high histamine or histamine liberating foods: tomato, strawberry, aubergine, aged blue veined cheeses (the worst), fermented as yogurt, peanuts, chocs, bananas, tinned fish, legumes as chickpea, anything pickled etc, so try and consider that
Development of extreme sensory sensitivities, rashes, allergies, autoimmune, soul exhaustion, dread and hopelessness among the list. Began to feel I was living in a zombie apocalypse.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 strong personal resonance with this perspective… & the possible implications or connection to supposedly separate/unrelated fields 🤯 📉📉📉the 🐇 hole w/Alice in Down Underland - r we terrified or satisfied - either way my curiosity will no longer ever be denied… How deep & wide it goes? Where is its original source? That we can test enough ourselves to trust?! I swear we live in the upside-down, where opposites are turned opposites once again for evermore… ♾️🌀☯️ TY! 🙏🏾
Richard can you post a new video?🤣 Im 2 werks out of the reparionship riding the waves so to speak and it looks like ive watched every video already! Oh wait! Except the one where you are talking about stopping watching videos on Narcisism! Ill watch that next!😂
It might sound crazy, but just you explaining it. Relieved my stress move entirely. It’s all about moral fiber and what is wrong and what’s right! my son said about my ex-husband everything he says is BS. He just has pissed poor moral character.! forget sex addiction. It’s all bullshit. This man would tell you this guy is green and the grass is blue and in time you come to believe it, everything is twisted. It Hass to be unraveled as you said like these two snakes and get back to reality.
So the simple explanation is, we must decide who we are, (identity crisis plays a part into our chosing to date a narcissist or our own feelings of worthlessness and shame that tear us down and leave us feeling like we are deserving of being destroyed or "punished"? ) Thanks, now I want to take philosophy course next semester. 👍🏽 Fyi, I'd rather watch the religious/philosophy channel and no I don't like big asses but I used to be able to bounce a quarter of off mine before I met my narcissist. Plane and simple, we need to figure out what we are willing to do for a relationship (fight) give up for the relationship (die unto ourselves) and what is worth putting up with from/for/in that to stay (live ) relationship . My son sounds like you used to snore. He's only 17😢. Can my relationship affect him as he watches me going through it😮?
Is there any organization or help for myself ? I am suffering from poisoning from my narcissistic ex and I don’t know who to call for help. Police and fire department do nothing. I live in Northern California and I need to get help. Thank you !
Great video. Thank you. Are you familiar with Dream Reenactment when the individual acts out his or her nightmare's and will fall out of bed, or punch the partner in the same bed... Etc. It happens to first responders often. I've videoed the individual with severe sleep apnea and dream reenactment. It's a serious situation.
My daughter supposedly has grinded her teeth so bad that she needs crowns and implants. This info came from her narc bf. But they blame me. Shes been with him since age 18-19 and he is about 11 years her senior.
He lives in my head, because unlike HIM, I am not distracting myself on date sites, porn sites, sucking supply from my neighbours, seducing strangers with charming vocabulary…getting my ego boosted by riding a fancy motorcycle for supply in groups with other riders… I am alone, healing, pondering on why I didn’t allow myself to leave sooner. Self reflecting on my past traumas and how I move forward in a healthy way - learning to love myself again, by filling my own cup and finding happiness from within from God as my guide and protector. He can stay in his demonic and dark world. One day I will wake up and not think of him - cannot wait! God willing it comes soon 🙏🏽
Yep… Healing. Of course, all of us humans with an intact, conscience and psyche, ethics and morals, and a heart question ourselves, and sometimes even terrorize ourselves in the aftermath of these relationships! There’s no real way to understand what it’s going to be like, or what it’s like from the outside until you’ve been in one. And we’re trying to prevent ourselves from having happening again, the survival part of our brain keeps looping around to try to find the patterns and ways to make sure it doesn’t happen anymore. But the problem is not anywhere within us, we will find it. The problem that we met evil and we were unprepared for it, because we cannot imagine that there are others who go around gleefully, spreading destruction and chaos like these psychopathic pieces of shit too. Keep watching videos from Richard, I love inner integration with Meredith Marie Miller as well, but there are dozens of great creators on here now also. When I first started finding out about this in 2017 or 18, Richard was a literal lifesaver. Glad that you made it out! You are a gorgeous lady and you will certainly find a person that loves you in all the ways that you want and deserve. Don’t let your heart grow hard and bitter, this was the action of one evil loser, and not all of humanity. (I had two of them back to back, and the healing process becomes more difficult, have my finances and career tied up with the second one as well. That is in nuclear waste and ashes, as you can imagine!)
I am on the same Journey and the funny thing is my Dr. asked me how things were going and if I knew anything of my x. I immediately replied, nope and I don't care what he is up to, whar he is doing, even who he is with. I loved him once, he taught me not to! My mother once said these types teach you hate, she is right although I don't hate him. I just honestly don't care. That question my Dr. asked and my quick reply was honestly refreshing, even to me!
I started a memoir and after having written down all my partner had done and seeing the despicable behavior on paper, I almost immediately broke free. I will keep these example in my mind anytime I waver. I WAS COMPLETELY romanticising what was. Get it on paper and stare at it.
I wrote down most of the things that he did to me.....And I was so confused why I stayed so long......I tried to break away from him so many times.....But stayed fully knowing he was cheating, lying, addicted to porn, alcoholic,self absorbed, addicted to dating websites.....Finally had a big argument with him telling him I was so tired of dealing with his bs.....Then he started raging about I was cheating etc.....I went know contact.....And I'm trying to heal from 9yrs of pure hell...
8 місяців тому+1
@mizzesbee Just try to reflect on it. Be objective and learn from it. The emotional part is going to be there yet. That's something you have to be ready for as in yourself. I wish I could help but I have my own challenges myself. Hope you can find what you need and deserve within yourself, and hopefully another partner
Thank you.....I done being a victim......now I have forgiven myself......repair my self-esteem......and ask GOD to continue to strength me while I move forward.....And not to look in my rear view mirror......I appreciate you responding
I can’t wrap my head around the trauma and how the narcissist leaves victims in their wake with no apparent consequences, no accountability. The narcissist in my family is protected by her flying monkeys. They come to her rescue at the slightest threat to her while she stabs her narcissistic wand into people all day! The injustice! I will definitely set up a moral compass. What she did was/is wrong!!!!
Yeeeesss....immune system, weight gain, no Energy, allergies and skin problems...sinus issues, bronchitis. It's been a little over a year. I'm still fighting.
It’s really harsh! The abuse, literally rewires and can shut down parts the brain, if it’s long-term, it can lead to mood disorders, easily, and personality disorders, potentially, especially if it’s from childhood… Trauma shrinks the hippocampus and affects the cerebellum and other parts of the brain. And it gets us locked into the middle brain, emotional part, and then we get put on that loop/rumination.can’t think of anything else, but the abuse endlessly! Really hard for a while. And it becomes just a really hard life if it’s ongoing from childhood.
Most people assume there was physical abuse involved there could have been without them laying a hand on you I explain it is the most painful experience for the mind to have to endure and consequently affect your health.
They break your spirit and it takes longer than a normal heartbreak. It does take WORK to heal and long time. Richard Grannon helped me immensely. On occasion, I still hear him; I pray and it stops, but it does come back eventually. However it does not run my life and 95% I do not think about it.
Takes much longer, and it’s much more difficult, because a normal break up is two people where things just didn’t work out, although they tried. Dealing with a narc there was only one person in the relationship, the other one had set out intentionally to destroy this person! we just can’t imagine this, as a normal human being in the outside. Until we’ve been through one!
I have recently found you and your videos. It’s helped me validate what I’ve been through in a 23 year marriage and how to heal and recover. I’m attempting my third time in leaving this relationship and with your help I feel able to do this successfully physically and emotionally. Big thank you! - Robin
You got this! Try to remind yourself past behaviour is indicative of future behaviour and that is why you need out. It took me 31 yrs… it feels so good to be free. Get your support system in place asap 🌸
I am in the middle of the separation process. It is important that you have copies of all the paperwork that shows the value of marital assets and make sure you bring everything of value with you when you leave. If not, if you need to come back for the rest of your stuff, the important stuff will already have been stolen - this includes your important paperwork. I know this from experience. If you can prove cheating or anything that grants you advantage in divorce proceedings, gather evidence quietly and safely. You will need a lot more money for the divorce process than people divorcing non-narcissists, so be sure to squirrel away everything you can in a separate, secret account. But don't stay if you feel you are in danger, just get out! Also it really helps to fain cooperation and complicity with the narcissist and not get his suspicions up. I wish you all the luck with this process, and your happiness and peace of mind back. This process of getting free is brutal, but the alternative is a slow soul death.
I finally left my 35 year marriage. Within a few months after our divorce was final he was living with a young Asian woman buying her a new Mercedes. Nothing against either of those… just showed me I gave all my love and energy to someone who could never return it. He didn’t cry about losing me… just moved on to a new supply. Hope this helps to give you strength!
Thank you Richard. Last week my therapist said me one thing which changes everything: " YOUR VOICE IS LOVING FOR YOU and the narcisstic voice is against you. Co-dependency is NOT a disorder neither an addiction, neither something to fix or to deal with. It is a strategy to deal with threads. Trying to be perfect or to fix yourself is part of co-dependency." He gave me the exercise to look deep inside and to journal what thoughts I have about myself and to reject all the negative ones and to replace them with loving ones, with my voice wich is FOR me. He said: when you are in pain, there is a belief about yourself which is a lie". I practiced this since 5 days and I am so much better.
That is great advice, a bit of Jungian type shadow work, but simpler. I am going to try that myself see what I discover as writing is a great way of bringing out the unconscious self. Thanks for sharing that idea!
@frankly1744 great that it may be helpful also for you. For me it was also helpful to forgive myself, my inner beeing for tge negative voices, and sure allowing the emotions which go with it ,feeling them and then decide to release them and to decide that I want other experiences now and then feel in my body how it would feel to have better experiences. Wish you a wonderful time.
With all due respect Be careful not to turn into a narcissist has ur psychologist been through narcissistic abuse. Please be careful who you trust for your healing I use the bible kjv n channels with scripture if u like I can share narcissists break your spirit . Thanks for sharing Richard Gran
@christinekisso8358 my therapist has been through narcisstic abuse....and the bible says: love your neighbor as you love yourself!!!!. Loving voice doesn't mean narcisstic voice (egoistic) voice. There is a huge difference. My therapist helped me a lot. I don't take this " be careful to not become a narcissist". This is guilt tripping like the narcs in my life did. I don't use the bible to guilt trip myself anymore. The narcissists wanted us to do so. And this doesn't mean that I become a narcisst. I can selfreflect on my mistakes.!!! And it’s not respectful at all to say " be careful to not turn into a narcissist". This is the voice of the narcissist. It really reactivated the narcissists projected voice still running a little bit into myself. I use it as a challenge to reject this guilt tripping voice and to become stronger. This is exactly what Richard is explaining. If you want, check in your mind who told me this? Was it you or the Internationalised voice from the narcissist???? I can say that the more loving and caring I become with myself the less narcissistic I become.😊❤
Does having that voice still there sometimes mean your still codependent? I’m not sure about that. Something can trigger those memories and voice probably for the rest of your life. If you eventually know it’s a false voice and can let it go but just observe it, aren’t you healed? It will get easier and quicker to release it. I don’t know if you can ever truly get a narcissistic parents voice out of your head. If triggers don’t bother you at all then I would think that would be a problem. Not responding to the trigger is the healing. I don’t know, I’m just rambling.
The important thing is our platform we call our true self. Thus is our boundary between soul and mind. This is our core. It never changes. But our self images do. The narcissist has a damaged or destroyed platform. So everything is false image. There is no known way to fix them. They have mirrored your image back to you in a perfection form. This is the shared fantasy base. That's why you feel whole and complete with them and there's biochemistry involved. So you are also in addiction. You were high as a kite. That's used for control. You supply their fake self image. They are spiritually dead. They have to have an external supply. It's a matter if survival for them. Just like blood to a vampire.
Resolved the fight. Am in therapy, now trying to step away and live and support our mutual adult child in a constructive way. Making Headway! Yay!! Thx Richard, always look forward to your content. Always Helpful!!
I used to suffer BPD w/ narcissistic traits (I actually believe they are on the same sliding scale, BPD & NPD). I have no stable sense of self. After years of work and recovery, then 2 failed marriages both to narcissists, I've started using a concept I created to help me anchor myself in my true self. I have looked back over my life to find the threads of who I really am in amidst the mess and chaos and dysfunction. I found my "missing self" by taking this approach. But it has been hard!! I have cried over all the lying versions of self I lived, all the people I hurt along the way, and all the hirt I sustained. You are right about self image being malleable. Mine was ever shifting and it caused me to be unsure of who I was - that's what caused my unstable sense of self. Because I was not allowed to discover and then BE my self as a child, I believed my self image WAS me. It was not. Now that I'm allowing myself to discover who I am and live that out, my recovery from narcissist husbands has been incredible ❤️ I'm not only recovered from BPD (which is a serious mental health disorder), I'm also largely recovered from the abuse and the narcs infiltration of my head space! Thank you for putting words to a concept I've been living but had not yet put to language 🙏
Yes it feels like addiction! I hate it! WTF? I never had this type of attachment in my youth! Nope I must return to ice cold or stoicism. If you have a heart get rid of it!
This helps me understand the first year out of my narcissist marriage when I was behaving in out-of-character self destructive ways. I’m starting to see how susceptible I was to this brand of abuse. During the lovebombing phase my low self esteem told me I was nothing without my partner. As the devaluation began, I felt I was nothing with him & also nothing without him. So what did that leave me? I felt so trapped & worthless it is miracle I got out & a miracle I did not end my life. I really value the insights here, as well as the periodic comic relief.
I was a recovered addict when I started my phase. When it all crashed and slowly became worse and worse, denied and invalidated, feeling like I was crazy and imagining things too sensitive blah... End of story I relapsed horribly, far worse than I ever did before my recovery of almost 8 years, almost 11y from the destructive drug of choice. Little over 2 years of hell. She called it fun and partying, more like absolute suffering. I'm slowly recovering over the last year with a couple desperate attempts at suicide that failed. I gave her what she needed, actual ammo to use against me all the time.
Cognitive dissonance is a slow tethering of the body, soul and mind as a result of perpetual attacks of orchestrated confusion. The person in the midst of cognitive dissonance is completely absorbed in a mind minefield and emotional battle between reality and excuses based on false hope. I know how it feels. The result of the dissonance causes complete detachment from reality. The dissonance is the juggle between the blame shifting, narcissistic rage episodes, constant put downs and threats (which cause us to self reflect and blame) - this is the guilt trap. This is where the narcissist projects and begins to deploy isolating- tactics to trap the person physically, mentally and emotionally. - vs the opposing light side of hope. The narcissist generate fuel from seeing someone else BELOW them and feeds off seeing another person in pain. Isolate them physically and then feed emotionally through reactions of the pain. The result is the mental dissonance and confusion which is a tool to play with the mind, emotions and soul of the other person. It is really awful. Finally though since I can see through it and the scars, the poison will eventually go. They try to make us like them, lacking empathy. The only thing a narcissist loves is power and sadly the punching bags are the closest to them. If the energy feels soul sucking, get the F out. Healthy people self reflect, take ownerships of mistakes and try to make amends. A narcissist is like a child learning to butter a slice of bread, when the bread rips they blame the bread, the butterknife and the butter.
@@amieetortoricimccann4993 Ah thanks :) I can actually put words together now out of the fog of confusion. :) Life is way more peaceful without the narcissistic black energy.
What i ve experienced it s not only deciding that the behaviour and the intentions are wrong. On top of that you have to accept that bad people exist with bad intentions. It rocked my world vieuw. I needed some time to incorporate that realisation.
During narcissistic abuse recovery we need enough time grieving. Sometimes we want ourselves to heal fast but we don’t even realize how much damaged we are and we really need TIME for body and soul healing. Battling Cognitive dissonance alone is extremely hard. It comes with ups and downs.
Did you say “ internal jihad “ 😂😂 literally this is the first time I hear a westerner use the term correctly .. “ inner struggle “ jihad isn’t cutting throats and blood shed as the media has portrayed to the world. ❤
At the end i agree. I went to a survival school where each morning we hiked the mountain and talked for 30 minutes or so. The rest of the day was learning but mostly silent. At night, stories around the fire. It was amazing
I was diagnosed with Psoriasis when I was in 7th grade. It was because of all the mental and psychological abuse and some physical abuse also that my mother put upon me. Now I have ankylosing spondylitis, had back surgery 2 years ago and went no contact with my mother Jan 1st of 2023. She retired about 3 years ago and she started up with her crazy gas lighting, blaming and shaming me when she retired. (I'm a 54yr. old adult with 2 adult children and a grand child and I have a career and my own house.) She abused my grandbaby and I witnessed it on the baby monitor when I was in my garage. Then last New years, she was over and went to leave and my 1 1/2 year old grandbaby was standing right in frint of her by the front door which she opened. She knew he was standing there. All of a sudden I hear my grandbaby wailing and crying. I asked her, "What happened?" She stood there in her rage and yelled, well he was standing right here and I shut the door on his fingers." She blamed my grandbaby. She didn't try to console him or say she was sorry. I took her abuse. But when she started her psycho shit with my grandbaby....that was it.
And you enabled the abuse instead of protecting your own children, I hope you got the courage and strength to finally cut that cord. You have to be accountable and make change.
I'm 66 , my childhood was domestic violence and abuse, I was discarded. Then I married a covert narcissist for 34 years, and I've spent my life discarding me, I'm in he'll. How do I cope,heal and restore my self.
I think people who went through the hell of narcissistic abuse and heal are the phoenixes raising from the ashes. It gives your superpower. ❤ Please try to look at your journey from positive way of thinking even though healing isn’t easy process, sometimes you feel you have moved forward, sometimes you feel that you went backwards again. Stand your ground.
Are you serious? Have you been through this abuse? I am asking out of curiosity. It is so much hell.. One can't feel so good at all. I am trying to rise out of the ashes. ❤
@yellowdayz1800 It takes time. I'm out 2 years. I've probably listened to a thousand videos. Keep educating yourself. It took me this long to finally truly understand boundaries. I have so much peace in my life now and I will be working on myself for the rest of my life. It is very painful in the early healing, but as you return to yourself, it gets better. I ditched all damaging people in my life. Best thing ever. We don't have to be tolerant of other peoples BS. ❤
Stella is taking on more clients for her Structure with Stella course: which will sort out your sleep pattern, eating, exercise and stress.
On this course in under 10 weeks I lost 7kg, got stronger than Ive been in my life at 45, sorted out a lifelong insomnia issue (I now sleep 7 hours regularly, previously I couldnt manage more than 4 without waking up), sorted out my sleep apnea and cleared all markers for metabolic syndrome from blood panels!
Recovery from narcissistic abuse takes STRENGTH, mental, emotional and physical, you must be strong and structured and live within an ordered schedule.
Yes christmas is coming (cheat on christmas day, I wont tell Stella if you dont!) so get on this 8 week course and start the new year in good shape with a clear head and a healthy body!
Join us here www.strongwithstella.com/strongwithstella-course
Stela is from Serbia?! 😅
@@sanja1502Croatia 🇭🇷
@@RICHARDGRANNON Dobro 😄
She is the sweetest ❤❤❤
So grateful for all the material, still working on Richard, and bringing the very important, moral and ethical elements into it as well as philosophy. I know you didn’t get to swing around and focus specifically and exclusively on philosophy in this new face of your life as you wanted to this year! But you still integrate it with the work that you’re doing on personality disorders Phenomenally, well, and in ways that is often missing from most journals. Much love brother thank you. 🎉🎉🎉
When he ended the relationship I calmly walked away and went no contact. I actually felt relieved. I am starting to get my normal life back.
YES!!!! KEEP MOVING!
It's like a battle between the mind and the heart, reason and logic vs obsession and emotions
It’s just occurred to me how toxic the concept of “forgive and forget” is in the context of narcissistic abuse. I’m thinking forgive but never forget and go no contact.
the only person I forgave was myself.
Forgive Them 🌞
Forgive Your Self 🌈
Go + Stay No Contact
@@YAHAYAH_369But don't forget
I wouldn't waste my time forgiving them unless there was acknowledgement and change on their part. More valuable to forgive yourself and do the work.
@@philjones6522
Most Likely There Will Not Be,
Not A Sincere Apology Anyway
The Forgiveness Is To Let Go,
of The Hate In One's Heart 🌞
I heard this quote that sometimes when you're on the right path, the universe winks at you. You showing up in my life through this video, today, is the wink. Thank you.
Yes no voice. Anger. Sorrow. Pure sorrow from giving so many years of love forgiveness.
Thank you so much. You've helped me spot a real life psychopath aswell and I'm eternally greatful. I've left a huge friend group and moved on. They're evil.
You are gonna be yourself again, I am rooting for you.
In the land of misinformation, the only thing you can trust is what you can see and what you can touch. “Telling that you have worth is not enough, you have to go and experience it.”
Yes I agree the narcissists intentions are not good for you at all, so do my best hopeful, get rid of these evil person before they intentionally destroy you emotionally
When you talk about being quite at the end ❤ Before I realised I was with a narcissist (again 🙄) I kept telling him to shhhhhh and listen to the birdsong in the morning, or listen to the motorway noise in the evening. I was so sick of him always making a noise. Talking in circles.
Your videos have helped me so much thank you 🙏 a thousand times. Because I didn’t heal from the 1st one I’ve been trapped for over 20 years in a shity cycle of self destruction. Thank you so much you’ve been my angel
I think when you break free from a narcissist it’s similar to being imprisoned,as you now have this freedom and you’re wary of going out on your own cos you been damaged mentally.
You will slowly discover yourself and get new friends who encourage you and don’t discourage and put you down ,it’s a new beginning and just take baby steps because you need to get to know your true self and not the person the narcissist painted you as.
Your explanation of the 2snakes, the split that I experience now really makes sense now. I am clear that what my ex husband did was wrong and immoral. Mean spirited, and his intentions are/were for me to fail and feel like shit about myself. He is a fake person with these ideas that he is good, honest, and kind. He's not. He's sick and I am working to get him our of my head and my life. I think I am more conscious now.
Oh Richard. You have helped me so much. I’m am truly grateful to you from the bottom of my heart to the top. I would love to be sitting at a campfire with you. What an enjoyable experience that would be! I’m glad you are taking care of your sleep apnea because we need you to live for a very many more years my friend. Take care.
I grieved my mother whilest she is alive. She is a narcissist. 3 years no contact. Now I saw her again because she is terminal sick. She saxs, but propably is lying again. I will grey rock and set my boundaries to seeing her every 4-5 month for a dinner. I know now she is evil. And morally twisted, lying and sabotaging. I see her. I got baptized this year. It helps me to see her as possessed by a devilish something.
Mine exactly too.
How you simplify such a soul destroying situation is profound and put in terminology I myself understand so thankyou .your sence of humour is appreciated. .
They just lie and justify violence antisocial behaviour unfaithfulness
And verbal abuse and on and on and until you decide to not accept bad treatment from anyone even siblings parents friends nothing will change.
Once you decide to treat yourself as the valuable person you are and have self respect and love for yourself things will change. Getting boundaries and what is acceptable and unacceptable is vital for recovery.
Love your talks RICHARD
It is not only the evil taker; it IS THE EVIL GIVER THAT MUST BE QUESTIONED TOO
Bingo! I believe in mental clarity. I believe in following Ones Moral Compass. Like a Shining Light. Good Job Richard.
I’ve just been told CPS have decided to go ahead with case against man who attacked me after few months relationship. I’m now worried I’m going to get blasted with cross examination about me being the mentally ill one. I have FND functional neurological disorder. How do I stand against this narc man without cracking up. I feel totally wrecked after the relationship and waiting counselling after getting initial assessment telling me I’m ptsd. This man needs to be charged
God, this is sooooooooooooo sooooooooooo important. Preach from the hilltops!!!!!!!!!!
another very helpful metaphor. finally it makes sense what cognitive dissonance is and how it plays out in recovery from narcissistic abuse. thank you.
Yes no childhood evil. All narcissist. All the time fighting him over right and wrong.
Somehow ended up in the resolving moral vs philosophical conflict section. Lol I’ve done it today! At WORK 😂 A recurring issue came up and this time I stood up for myself. Spoke the truth of things as I see them, because I think that is fair to me. lol the last of a week of trials.
Here I was still freaking out. I did good 😂 you’re right ❤️
one of the best videos on this subject. I hope ot helps a lot of people's eyes.
When I think about them I do mistakes lol hate that way of thinking they went after my money supply. Warped my mind to a bitter self that they are. I was get over it whatever I was stilled damaged still am. God bless everyone stay strong.
You sell hopes and dreams. Alone for however long is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH
I cannot sleep!
Facts and Thank you for sharing information. Knowledge is power.
Richard, thank you again for sharing your wisdom and expertise!
✌❤🌎
I broke up with my narcissistic boyfriend of 6 years one year ago. Its been almost a year today that I been tolerating him just showing up and sending flowers and trying to hoover me back. But I stood strong and did not get back with him. But still did things to try and help him of course. Its been over a week and he has not got in contact with me at all. I should be so happy that I can finally get on with my life now. I know he must have another supply or else he still be calling me. But a big part of me can't stop thinking of him. Very true they live inside your head. Thank you so much for these videos they save me or else I would of never recognized the pattern I have in.
Why do you keep him in your life?
He will ALWAYS pop up and eventually you will give in.....gifts, flowers, and soon enough.....
my dad and ex husband both narcisstic and abused me physically this is really an important therapy probbaly one of the most important have heard since I started studying this a year ago. AND OF course they said I m crazy and my racist family helped my asian abuser theyre racist against to steal my kids using lies. I havent seen my kids in eight years and i got lots of your videos in my new book the art of war Im still compiling, editing and writing it. i really like your therapy style.
I been praying for you ❤
Here to say what a fantastic fantastic use of the word, Jihad 🔥 may God guide you and bless you always!
Dr Frank Ochberg from Michigan who helped me a little coined the term “ptsd” also told me about how he was working on coining the terms moral injury-
I will definitely try what you said because,I understand 😎
16:56 such an important point!
Perfect explanation Richard. Thank you!
I had a dream other day where I contacted him but said this doesn’t mean don’t show up here😅
I’ve been no contact for 2 months.
I know how long that 2 months has been
Richard "You got any of that narcissistic abuse man?" Lol gave me a good chuckle. Thank you for putting some light to it and why I need serious talk therapy. Down 27lbs from 240 to 213 since my initial discard of 49 days ago. 188lbs the perfect number, first goal is sub 200.
This is so good . And so true and such a great explanation to move people into the right actions
Even your skin looks amazing!!! You definitely seem lighter
Guys ...tip on snoring...also consider *Low Histamine Diet* if you are Histamine intolerant causes swelling and irritation and hence snoring. I was eating high vols of high histamine or histamine liberating foods: tomato, strawberry, aubergine, aged blue veined cheeses (the worst), fermented as yogurt, peanuts, chocs, bananas, tinned fish, legumes as chickpea, anything pickled etc, so try and consider that
Such good solid teaching! Thank you!
The best video I’ve seen. Well done Richard, Thankyou :)
Development of extreme sensory sensitivities, rashes, allergies, autoimmune, soul exhaustion, dread and hopelessness among the list. Began to feel I was living in a zombie apocalypse.
Thanks, Richard! As always- 'Great Content!' Blessings to you!
Have been brought up by narcissistic step father and he’s still inside me
Hello sorry about your back Richard ! Great vid
I've never fought a harder battle then I am now and it's over a year no contact
Trauma bonding too... god you make so much sense. Within a minute... it all makes total sense!
Bravo!
Trivia: the 2 snake version got into medicine via alchemy (Hermes Trismegistus)
Thanks
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 strong personal resonance with this perspective… & the possible implications or connection to supposedly separate/unrelated fields 🤯
📉📉📉the 🐇 hole w/Alice in Down Underland - r we terrified or satisfied - either way my curiosity will no longer ever be denied…
How deep & wide it goes? Where is its original source? That we can test enough ourselves to trust?! I swear we live in the upside-down, where opposites are turned opposites once again for evermore… ♾️🌀☯️
TY! 🙏🏾
Mr Grannon! Requesting your presence in the United States, sir.
25:08 So true! I find dating boring because none of these men give me that same fantasy
My husband sounds like a growling demon when he snores. Maybe he should try this app!
Felt you trying not to laugh during the sound of sanity 😂
All true.
😂😂😂
I AM A MATURE, RESPONSIBLE ADULT
😂😂😂
😮
FARK
😂🎉
I JUST CHORTLED
😂❤😂❤❤😮
Richard can you post a new video?🤣 Im 2 werks out of the reparionship riding the waves so to speak and it looks like ive watched every video already! Oh wait! Except the one where you are talking about stopping watching videos on Narcisism! Ill watch that next!😂
“And this is why the aliens won’t help…” 😂
54 : Georgia guidestones
It might sound crazy, but just you explaining it. Relieved my stress move entirely. It’s all about moral fiber and what is wrong and what’s right! my son said about my ex-husband everything he says is BS. He just has pissed poor moral character.! forget sex addiction. It’s all bullshit. This man would tell you this guy is green and the grass is blue and in time you come to believe it, everything is twisted. It Hass to be unraveled as you said like these two snakes and get back to reality.
I’ve also gone through stalking, harassment, poisonous, hacking of phones & computer …etc. who can I get help from?
So the simple explanation is, we must decide who we are, (identity crisis plays a part into our chosing to date a narcissist or our own feelings of worthlessness and shame that tear us down and leave us feeling like we are deserving of being destroyed or "punished"? ) Thanks, now I want to take philosophy course next semester. 👍🏽 Fyi, I'd rather watch the religious/philosophy channel and no I don't like big asses but I used to be able to bounce a quarter of off mine before I met my narcissist. Plane and simple, we need to figure out what we are willing to do for a relationship (fight) give up for the relationship (die unto ourselves) and what is worth putting up with from/for/in that to stay (live ) relationship . My son sounds like you used to snore. He's only 17😢. Can my relationship affect him as he watches me going through it😮?
Love ya x
The butt cheeks part 😂 it’s true! Depth and understanding is needed to grow.. 😊
Is there any organization or help for myself ? I am suffering from poisoning from my narcissistic ex and I don’t know who to call for help. Police and fire department do nothing. I live in Northern California and I need to get help. Thank you !
can you try wet hijama? Start pulling the blood clots out and drink hot green tea and white tea
Zaddy chill 👋
Btw I subscribe because I need your help to help myself
Great video. Thank you. Are you familiar with Dream Reenactment when the individual acts out his or her nightmare's and will fall out of bed, or punch the partner in the same bed... Etc. It happens to first responders often. I've videoed the individual with severe sleep apnea and dream reenactment. It's a serious situation.
Richard, why does always seem even worse that it it. I share your laughing snort. Oh, great more. Hahaha.
How do i reverse the smear campaign which caused my family to turn thier back on me?
My ex bragging about the PTSD she induced in me exposes her mens rea, I'd say.
The truth is once you become healthy, you lose EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING. IT'S NOT A MAYBE, ITS A DEFINITE. SO HOW DO WE BRIDGE THAT GAP AND CAN WE?
Is it wrong or right that the snake eats the mouse?
What us gas lighting
My daughter supposedly has grinded her teeth so bad that she needs crowns and implants. This info came from her narc bf. But they blame me. Shes been with him since age 18-19 and he is about 11 years her senior.
Q
I guess its time for prepping
Food
Water
Clothing
Medicine 💊 🩺
Q ❤
He lives in my head, because unlike HIM, I am not distracting myself on date sites, porn sites, sucking supply from my neighbours, seducing strangers with charming vocabulary…getting my ego boosted by riding a fancy motorcycle for supply in groups with other riders…
I am alone, healing, pondering on why I didn’t allow myself to leave sooner. Self reflecting on my past traumas and how I move forward in a healthy way - learning to love myself again, by filling my own cup and finding happiness from within from God as my guide and protector.
He can stay in his demonic and dark world.
One day I will wake up and not think of him - cannot wait!
God willing it comes soon 🙏🏽
Yep… Healing. Of course, all of us humans with an intact, conscience and psyche, ethics and morals, and a heart question ourselves, and sometimes even terrorize ourselves in the aftermath of these relationships! There’s no real way to understand what it’s going to be like, or what it’s like from the outside until you’ve been in one. And we’re trying to prevent ourselves from having happening again, the survival part of our brain keeps looping around to try to find the patterns and ways to make sure it doesn’t happen anymore. But the problem is not anywhere within us, we will find it. The problem that we met evil and we were unprepared for it, because we cannot imagine that there are others who go around gleefully, spreading destruction and chaos like these psychopathic pieces of shit too. Keep watching videos from Richard, I love inner integration with Meredith Marie Miller as well, but there are dozens of great creators on here now also. When I first started finding out about this in 2017 or 18, Richard was a literal lifesaver.
Glad that you made it out! You are a gorgeous lady and you will certainly find a person that loves you in all the ways that you want and deserve. Don’t let your heart grow hard and bitter, this was the action of one evil loser, and not all of humanity.
(I had two of them back to back, and the healing process becomes more difficult, have my finances and career tied up with the second one as well. That is in nuclear waste and ashes, as you can imagine!)
Exactly ! Right there on the same journey as you. Good riddance
@@theoriginal7727
Thank You For 🌞🌈
This Blessed Message
May You Recover From
The Abuse And Turmoil
Godspeed, Beautiful One
I am on the same Journey and the funny thing is my Dr. asked me how things were going and if I knew anything of my x. I immediately replied, nope and I don't care what he is up to, whar he is doing, even who he is with. I loved him once, he taught me not to! My mother once said these types teach you hate, she is right although I don't hate him. I just honestly don't care. That question my Dr. asked and my quick reply was honestly refreshing, even to me!
I started a memoir and after having written down all my partner had done and seeing the despicable behavior on paper, I almost immediately broke free. I will keep these example in my mind anytime I waver. I WAS COMPLETELY romanticising what was. Get it on paper and stare at it.
I definely will attempt.
Oh that is amazing advice.
I wrote down most of the things that he did to me.....And I was so confused why I stayed so long......I tried to break away from him so many times.....But stayed fully knowing he was cheating, lying, addicted to porn, alcoholic,self absorbed, addicted to dating websites.....Finally had a big argument with him telling him I was so tired of dealing with his bs.....Then he started raging about I was cheating etc.....I went know contact.....And I'm trying to heal from 9yrs of pure hell...
@mizzesbee Just try to reflect on it. Be objective and learn from it. The emotional part is going to be there yet. That's something you have to be ready for as in yourself. I wish I could help but I have my own challenges myself. Hope you can find what you need and deserve within yourself, and hopefully another partner
Thank you.....I done being a victim......now I have forgiven myself......repair my self-esteem......and ask GOD to continue to strength me while I move forward.....And not to look in my rear view mirror......I appreciate you responding
This man is an underrated genius!
Oh oh oh ! Yes ! Listening to him is My XMas Present ! We should try and clone him as hetero
I swear I am falling in LOVE 😂
RIGHT!!!? WISDOM AND INSIGHT!
I can’t wrap my head around the trauma and how the narcissist leaves victims in their wake with no apparent consequences, no accountability. The narcissist in my family is protected by her flying monkeys. They come to her rescue at the slightest threat to her while she stabs her narcissistic wand into people all day! The injustice! I will definitely set up a moral compass. What she did was/is wrong!!!!
It'll come back around. Count on it.
Yes I know I deeply relate to this
Yeeeesss....immune system, weight gain, no Energy, allergies and skin problems...sinus issues, bronchitis. It's been a little over a year. I'm still fighting.
Ironic timing to find this video I’m driving myself nuts cause I keep thinking and reliving everything 😢
It’s really harsh! The abuse, literally rewires and can shut down parts the brain, if it’s long-term, it can lead to mood disorders, easily, and personality disorders, potentially, especially if it’s from childhood… Trauma shrinks the hippocampus and affects the cerebellum and other parts of the brain. And it gets us locked into the middle brain, emotional part, and then we get put on that loop/rumination.can’t think of anything else, but the abuse endlessly! Really hard for a while. And it becomes just a really hard life if it’s ongoing from childhood.
The same. Just found it
Same here. I spoke to my sister about me obsessing over the narc this evening, how I can’t just switch it off!
Me to. It is part of the healing process ❤
Most people assume there was physical abuse involved there could have been without them laying a hand on you I explain it is the most painful experience for the mind to have to endure and consequently affect your health.
They break your spirit and it takes longer than a normal heartbreak. It does take WORK to heal and long time. Richard Grannon helped me immensely. On occasion, I still hear him; I pray and it stops, but it does come back eventually. However it does not run my life and 95% I do not think about it.
Takes much longer, and it’s much more difficult, because a normal break up is two people where things just didn’t work out, although they tried. Dealing with a narc there was only one person in the relationship, the other one had set out intentionally to destroy this person! we just can’t imagine this, as a normal human being in the outside. Until we’ve been through one!
I have recently found you and your videos. It’s helped me validate what I’ve been through in a 23 year marriage and how to heal and recover. I’m attempting my third time in leaving this relationship and with your help I feel able to do this successfully physically and emotionally. Big thank you! - Robin
You got this! Try to remind yourself past behaviour is indicative of future behaviour and that is why you need out. It took me 31 yrs… it feels so good to be free. Get your support system in place asap 🌸
Also don't miss out on Dr Rarmani. She is brilliant
I am in the middle of the separation process. It is important that you have copies of all the paperwork that shows the value of marital assets and make sure you bring everything of value with you when you leave. If not, if you need to come back for the rest of your stuff, the important stuff will already have been stolen - this includes your important paperwork. I know this from experience. If you can prove cheating or anything that grants you advantage in divorce proceedings, gather evidence quietly and safely. You will need a lot more money for the divorce process than people divorcing non-narcissists, so be sure to squirrel away everything you can in a separate, secret account. But don't stay if you feel you are in danger, just get out! Also it really helps to fain cooperation and complicity with the narcissist and not get his suspicions up. I wish you all the luck with this process, and your happiness and peace of mind back. This process of getting free is brutal, but the alternative is a slow soul death.
I finally left my 35 year marriage. Within a few months after our divorce was final he was living with a young Asian woman buying her a new Mercedes. Nothing against either of those… just showed me I gave all my love and energy to someone who could never return it. He didn’t cry about losing me… just moved on to a new supply. Hope this helps to give you strength!
Amazing! Strengthen your SELF and never look back!
Thank you Richard. Last week my therapist said me one thing which changes everything: " YOUR VOICE IS LOVING FOR YOU and the narcisstic voice is against you. Co-dependency is NOT a disorder neither an addiction, neither something to fix or to deal with. It is a strategy to deal with threads. Trying to be perfect or to fix yourself is part of co-dependency." He gave me the exercise to look deep inside and to journal what thoughts I have about myself and to reject all the negative ones and to replace them with loving ones, with my voice wich is FOR me.
He said: when you are in pain, there is a belief about yourself which is a lie".
I practiced this since 5 days and I am so much better.
That is great advice, a bit of Jungian type shadow work, but simpler. I am going to try that myself see what I discover as writing is a great way of bringing out the unconscious self. Thanks for sharing that idea!
@frankly1744 great that it may be helpful also for you. For me it was also helpful to forgive myself, my inner beeing for tge negative voices, and sure allowing the emotions which go with it ,feeling them and then decide to release them and to decide that I want other experiences now and then feel in my body how it would feel to have better experiences. Wish you a wonderful time.
With all due respect Be careful not to turn into a narcissist has ur psychologist been through narcissistic abuse. Please be careful who you trust for your healing I use the bible kjv n channels with scripture if u like I can share narcissists break your spirit . Thanks for sharing Richard Gran
@christinekisso8358 my therapist has been through narcisstic abuse....and the bible says: love your neighbor as you love yourself!!!!. Loving voice doesn't mean narcisstic voice (egoistic) voice. There is a huge difference. My therapist helped me a lot. I don't take this " be careful to not become a narcissist". This is guilt tripping like the narcs in my life did. I don't use the bible to guilt trip myself anymore. The narcissists wanted us to do so. And this doesn't mean that I become a narcisst. I can selfreflect on my mistakes.!!! And it’s not respectful at all to say " be careful to not turn into a narcissist". This is the voice of the narcissist. It really reactivated the narcissists projected voice still running a little bit into myself. I use it as a challenge to reject this guilt tripping voice and to become stronger. This is exactly what Richard is explaining. If you want, check in your mind who told me this? Was it you or the Internationalised voice from the narcissist???? I can say that the more loving and caring I become with myself the less narcissistic I become.😊❤
Does having that voice still there sometimes mean your still codependent? I’m not sure about that. Something can trigger those memories and voice probably for the rest of your life. If you eventually know it’s a false voice and can let it go but just observe it, aren’t you healed? It will get easier and quicker to release it. I don’t know if you can ever truly get a narcissistic parents voice out of your head. If triggers don’t bother you at all then I would think that would be a problem. Not responding to the trigger is the healing. I don’t know, I’m just rambling.
The important thing is our platform we call our true self. Thus is our boundary between soul and mind. This is our core. It never changes. But our self images do. The narcissist has a damaged or destroyed platform. So everything is false image. There is no known way to fix them. They have mirrored your image back to you in a perfection form. This is the shared fantasy base. That's why you feel whole and complete with them and there's biochemistry involved. So you are also in addiction. You were high as a kite. That's used for control. You supply their fake self image. They are spiritually dead. They have to have an external supply. It's a matter if survival for them. Just like blood to a vampire.
Well said 📝
Resolved the fight. Am in therapy, now trying to step away and live and support our mutual adult child in a constructive way. Making Headway! Yay!! Thx Richard, always look forward to your content. Always Helpful!!
I used to suffer BPD w/ narcissistic traits (I actually believe they are on the same sliding scale, BPD & NPD). I have no stable sense of self.
After years of work and recovery, then 2 failed marriages both to narcissists, I've started using a concept I created to help me anchor myself in my true self.
I have looked back over my life to find the threads of who I really am in amidst the mess and chaos and dysfunction.
I found my "missing self" by taking this approach. But it has been hard!! I have cried over all the lying versions of self I lived, all the people I hurt along the way, and all the hirt I sustained.
You are right about self image being malleable. Mine was ever shifting and it caused me to be unsure of who I was - that's what caused my unstable sense of self. Because I was not allowed to discover and then BE my self as a child, I believed my self image WAS me. It was not.
Now that I'm allowing myself to discover who I am and live that out, my recovery from narcissist husbands has been incredible ❤️ I'm not only recovered from BPD (which is a serious mental health disorder), I'm also largely recovered from the abuse and the narcs infiltration of my head space!
Thank you for putting words to a concept I've been living but had not yet put to language 🙏
Nothing is actually *true* in our perceptions but this is a good thing. We can choose to believe what is helpful
Yes it feels like addiction! I hate it! WTF? I never had this type of attachment in my youth! Nope I must return to ice cold or stoicism. If you have a heart get rid of it!
This helps me understand the first year out of my narcissist marriage when I was behaving in out-of-character self destructive ways.
I’m starting to see how susceptible I was to this brand of abuse. During the lovebombing phase my low self esteem told me I was nothing without my partner. As the devaluation began, I felt I was nothing with him & also nothing without him. So what did that leave me? I felt so trapped & worthless it is miracle I got out & a miracle I did not end my life. I really value the insights here, as well as the periodic comic relief.
I was a recovered addict when I started my phase. When it all crashed and slowly became worse and worse, denied and invalidated, feeling like I was crazy and imagining things too sensitive blah... End of story I relapsed horribly, far worse than I ever did before my recovery of almost 8 years, almost 11y from the destructive drug of choice. Little over 2 years of hell. She called it fun and partying, more like absolute suffering. I'm slowly recovering over the last year with a couple desperate attempts at suicide that failed. I gave her what she needed, actual ammo to use against me all the time.
Cognitive dissonance is a slow tethering of the body, soul and mind as a result of perpetual attacks of orchestrated confusion. The person in the midst of cognitive dissonance is completely absorbed in a mind minefield and emotional battle between reality and excuses based on false hope. I know how it feels. The result of the dissonance causes complete detachment from reality. The dissonance is the juggle between the blame shifting, narcissistic rage episodes, constant put downs and threats (which cause us to self reflect and blame) - this is the guilt trap. This is where the narcissist projects and begins to deploy isolating- tactics to trap the person physically, mentally and emotionally. - vs the opposing light side of hope. The narcissist generate fuel from seeing someone else BELOW them and feeds off seeing another person in pain. Isolate them physically and then feed emotionally through reactions of the pain. The result is the mental dissonance and confusion which is a tool to play with the mind, emotions and soul of the other person. It is really awful. Finally though since I can see through it and the scars, the poison will eventually go. They try to make us like them, lacking empathy. The only thing a narcissist loves is power and sadly the punching bags are the closest to them. If the energy feels soul sucking, get the F out.
Healthy people self reflect, take ownerships of mistakes and try to make amends. A narcissist is like a child learning to butter a slice of bread, when the bread rips they blame the bread, the butterknife and the butter.
Beautifully written and oh so true
@@amieetortoricimccann4993 Ah thanks :) I can actually put words together now out of the fog of confusion. :) Life is way more peaceful without the narcissistic black energy.
What i ve experienced it s not only deciding that the behaviour and the intentions are wrong. On top of that you have to accept that bad people exist with bad intentions. It rocked my world vieuw. I needed some time to incorporate that realisation.
It was a hard pill to sollow for me too…people are actually capabile of such cruelty.
No... we ALL have the potential for evil within us... ALL OF US... there's no such thing as a good or bad person, only good or bad behaviours
During narcissistic abuse recovery we need enough time grieving. Sometimes we want ourselves to heal fast but we don’t even realize how much damaged we are and we really need TIME for body and soul healing.
Battling Cognitive dissonance alone is extremely hard. It comes with ups and downs.
Did you say “ internal jihad “ 😂😂 literally this is the first time I hear a westerner use the term correctly .. “ inner struggle “ jihad isn’t cutting throats and blood shed as the media has portrayed to the world. ❤
At the end i agree. I went to a survival school where each morning we hiked the mountain and talked for 30 minutes or so. The rest of the day was learning but mostly silent. At night, stories around the fire. It was amazing
Sounds good. Where is that?
I was diagnosed with Psoriasis when I was in 7th grade. It was because of all the mental and psychological abuse and some physical abuse also that my mother put upon me. Now I have ankylosing spondylitis, had back surgery 2 years ago and went no contact with my mother Jan 1st of 2023. She retired about 3 years ago and she started up with her crazy gas lighting, blaming and shaming me when she retired. (I'm a 54yr. old adult with 2 adult children and a grand child and I have a career and my own house.) She abused my grandbaby and I witnessed it on the baby monitor when I was in my garage. Then last New years, she was over and went to leave and my 1 1/2 year old grandbaby was standing right in frint of her by the front door which she opened. She knew he was standing there. All of a sudden I hear my grandbaby wailing and crying. I asked her, "What happened?" She stood there in her rage and yelled, well he was standing right here and I shut the door on his fingers." She blamed my grandbaby. She didn't try to console him or say she was sorry. I took her abuse. But when she started her psycho shit with my grandbaby....that was it.
And you enabled the abuse instead of protecting your own children, I hope you got the courage and strength to finally cut that cord. You have to be accountable and make change.
I'm 66 , my childhood was domestic violence and abuse, I was discarded. Then I married a covert narcissist for 34 years, and I've spent my life discarding me, I'm in he'll. How do I cope,heal and restore my self.
Only by the grace of God through Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
I think people who went through the hell of narcissistic abuse and heal are the phoenixes raising from the ashes. It gives your superpower. ❤
Please try to look at your journey from positive way of thinking even though healing isn’t easy process, sometimes you feel you have moved forward, sometimes you feel that you went backwards again. Stand your ground.
Beauty from ashes!!! I'm gonna say it. Special we are!
Are you serious? Have you been through this abuse? I am asking out of curiosity. It is so much hell.. One can't feel so good at all. I am trying to rise out of the ashes. ❤
@@yellowdayz1800 I’ve been through it and I’m speaking from my experience. Try and fight for your happiness ❤️
@yellowdayz1800 It takes time. I'm out 2 years. I've probably listened to a thousand videos. Keep educating yourself. It took me this long to finally truly understand boundaries. I have so much peace in my life now and I will be working on myself for the rest of my life. It is very painful in the early healing, but as you return to yourself, it gets better. I ditched all damaging people in my life. Best thing ever. We don't have to be tolerant of other peoples BS. ❤