The Dumbest Russian Voyage Nobody Talks About
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- Опубліковано 18 сер 2021
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The voyage of the Russian Baltic Fleet (Second Pacific Squadron) in the Russo-Japanese war is a tale of ridiculous blunder after blunder, a disaster from start to finish. The last ditch effort for Russian naval superiority in the Russo-Japanese war required a voyage never before taken by a coal-powered fleet. To help matters, the fleet was crewed by conscripted peasants who had little to no experience or education when it came to naval operation. Over the 18,000 mile journey, the fleet attacked civilian vessels from multiple global powers, shot at their own ships, killed fellow sailors with negligence of safety standards, destroyed city's communication grids, and so much more. This event will go down in history as one of Russia's most embarrassing military performances, but on the bright side, at least it gives you one fantastic hard-to-believe story to tell at your next dinner party!
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Sources:
britishseafishing.co.uk/the-d...
www.hullwebs.co.uk/content/l-2...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zinovy_...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogger_... - Комедії
Man, can‘t think of a better channel to be receiving algorithmic love at this point!
Wow, thank you so much that means a lot! I also enjoy your content, keep it up!
well well if it isn't khAnubis
Yeah I just got him recommended to me.
Yeah im commenting for the algo love...
I love this channel
You left out one of the funniest parts. To help morale while sailing around Africa they bought all the sailors cigarettes only to find out that the cigarettes they bought were laced with opium. So all the sailor were getting high and addicted to opium. When the officers found out about there mistake they confiscated all the cigarettes leading to many sailors getting violently sick from withdrawals while detoxing
source?
@@monsecko4792 ur nan
@@icutthings649 LMAO!
This is slightly incorrect, AFAIK. The opium-laced cigarettes was *smuggled* aboard by the crew; it wasn't a sanctioned procurement. But yes, they did have the pleasure of large swathes of the crew getting blasted on opium.
Opium is weak as hell. I've done oxys for an entire summer break and stopped when classes started up and didn't have withdrawals. I was high for literally one month every day
Favorite quote about the 2nd Pacific Squadron was when the Admiral made a remark about his first impression of the sailors; "half of these men know nothing, and the other half have forgotten everything"
I love that quote haha I almost included it in the video
@Mail Degeese
“Half of this lot knows nothing while the other half has forgotten everything, and on the rare occasion that they do remember something, it’s obsolete and out of date”
Don't forget the Admiral he called "a vast empty space"
@@athrowaway3487 Or the one he referred-to as “A manure sack.”
@@robertfolkner9253 I forgot that one!
FYI I'm Russian, and we wasn't taught this incident in detail, all we was told that Russo-Japanese war was the most disgraceful war in Russian history.
I think the worst f*** up on Russias Side regarding the Russo-Japanese wasnt militarily but on the diplomatic Front, since the Dipülomats let that War happen in the first Place.
Lets take a Look at the respective Intrests.
Russia wants: One warm Water Harbour in the east(or basicly anywhere :D)
Japan wants: east-Asia to be accepted as THEYRE Sphere of Influence, meaning no European Meddeling there.
So given that Russia had no vital pol/imperial intrest in the far East beyond having ONE effing Harbour and Japan would had loved to have ONE friendly European Power. Russia and Japan were natural Allies with complimentary Intrests. The Incompetence by the Diplomats here is borderline Treason imo
I thought the most disgraceful war in russian history are the crieman war 😓😓 in 1853-1855
*most disgraceful war in russian history so far. Actually, that wasn't even it, losing first Chechen war to a country smaller than moscow and with basically no weapons, was even more disgraceful... And would have been, if not the 2-3 day special operation to take Kyiv that turned into 10-year siege of Mar'inka and Avdiivka.
@@prabowodjojominarso6151 How so?
They were defeated by a Coalition of Great Britain, France(Austria too?) and the Ottoman Empire, so not exactly a pushover of an military Coalition to say the least.
Imo the only disgraceful thing about that particular War is that ANY European Country sided with the Ottoman Empire and thereby doomed large parts of south-east Europe to continue to suffer Ottoman Occupation...
Btw: Thank you UK and France for ensuring that Constantinople stays Muslim forever :D
@@fudgepacker2858 debatable
“With roughly 100 Japanese deaths”
Does this mean that the Baltic fleet actually hit something?
Well seeing as the Commander alone was more capable than the entire fleet he prolly did some shenanigans there lol
I like to imagine Britain just felt bad for Russia so asked Japan to fudge the numbers a bit to make it look like the Russians did something as to try and preserve a bit of their international prestige, at least a little bit
I wouldn't doubt that it was a case of friendly fire on the Japanese side seeing as it was dark when it happened....
3 (actual) Japanese torpedo boats, and they did get in some hits in the Japanese flagship (albeit they failed to sink her).
Keith W
1 second ago
There were some Japanese head injuries from what was widely reported as 'flying binoculars in the dark' by the injured. These reports were subsequently dismissed by Japanese Fleet HQ as post concussive trauma so are not in recorded history.
You gotta give them credit for even surviving the journey
Well, some survived at least
Eeeeehhhhh.....bout that.....
@@magpie7373 it was either immense dedication to the cause or fear of the tzar, but either way they all get gold stars for effort
And then they got absolutely destroyed at Tsushima. 126000 tons sunk on the Russian side, vs 450 on the Japanese side.
@@tanith117 but they showed up, which is more than you could've expected
The cruel irony is that Rozhestvensky was one of the few good naval commanders Russia had and the only reason the Voyage of the Dammed even got to Tsushima is because he was actually skilled at his job
Legend has it that one can trace back the entire voyage route, simply by following the path of pre WW1 binoculars randomly found at the bottom of the Oceans
@@bogdangabrielonete3467 Or the trail of shells, fired by the Kamchatka at invisible Japanese Torpedo Boats
@@weldonwin TORPEDO BOATS? WHERE?!?! 👀👀
@@bogdangabrielonete3467 All around, from all directions!
@@weldonwin I can count 8 of them ! OPENING FIRE !
Fun fact: A young Isoroku Yamamoto served on a cruiser during the battle of Tsushima. He lost 2 fingers to russian shells, if he’d lost a 3rd he would have been medically discharged from the navy. WW2 would have played out veeery differently all because of one finger
Wasn't it the same for Admiral Nimitz?
Hitler dodged many a bullet in WW1 including one that killed his close friend standing right beside him.
Also survived a gas attack.
It makes you wonder if this was the good turn out y'know? What if even more evil or ambitious potential leaders were killed instead of them?
*duh duh duh*
you're saying that russians actually hit something?
@@lillyiehey even a broken clock is right twice a day
@@lillyie Pure luck I guess
I honestly feel so bad for Rozhestvensky. He was one of the few Russian admirals who would actually stick up for enlisted men if he found that they were being abused by their (aristocratic) officers. As mentioned by others, he was also pretty competent in general, and he was knocked out 30 minutes into the Battle of Tsushima and thus largely not responsible for the defeat, but he accepted responsibility anyway and died broke and disgraced later on.
Also, while this video is a great summary, the absolutely horrible record of the Kamchatka cannot be stressed enough. That ship was such a fuckup that Rozhestvensky took to calling the ship the "lecherous whore" instead.
one competent general sadly doesn't make everything else competent
@@goldietheswagbear8288 I'd be a bit worried if your most competent naval officer was a general, since that rank isn't a naval rank
@@kyuven there's generals in the russain navy
It's the air naval force and the ground naval force, but still...
If I was in command of this fleet, I'd have anger issues too.
You'd better feel bad for Withöft. He led the Russian Pacific fleet in in the battle of Yellow Sea in 1904 and almost made a breakthrough towards Vladivostok before the Japanese shell tore him apart.
The parrot swearing in Russian is where I lost it
It said “The enemies are coming from the east”
@@dmitryberdnikov9130 it really sounded likely it
I nearly died
Awk!
*cusses in russian!*
I lost in Denmark so yeah you endure it well
Well, it's nice to see their logistics haven't gotten any worse over time. /s
One thing that’s timeless: Russian logistics
Looks like this is the second dumbest russian voyage now
Nah it’s way worse at least the ships made it to where they were going 😂
@@mr.minecraft5154 you mean the bottom of the ocean? (Save for Avrora and two other ships)
I think it's a wonder how they messed up so many times on different places and still not mess up on logistics
Someone should make this into a historical comedy movie, it’d be hilarious.
I'm honestly amazed it hasn't been. Someone needs to beg Armando Iannucci to write it. This could be a great follow up to The Death of Stalin!
@@CountScarlioni OOOHHH. Now that’s an idea. I was thinking Taika Waititi would have a field day with this but Iannuci would be amazing
Pls with the cast of death of Stalin 😂😂😂
maybe out of respect to the deads lets not . they were all poor farmers drafted into the navy in a hurry since the pacific fleet was besieged . russians themselves didnt trust them and called most of the ships as "self sinking ships" so they were basically told to go and die for the motherland and these funny things were just what happen when you put a farmer who fear war into a warship . they started panicking before they did even reach danemark seeing all strange ships as hostile japanese boats
@@LauftFafa sooo... too soon?
That Admiral Rozhestvensky actually got this mobile disaster as far as it did makes him worthy of deep respect.
he was actually compentent, it's just that his men weren't.
He was Russia's second best admiral (the best one, Stepan Makarow, was already fighting in the Pacific and in fact his death was the event that made Russia send the Baltic fleet as reinforcement). And not as in "ah ah, imagine how bad the others were"; he was actually capable, respected by the sailors, and had a strong sense of honor. Too bad the rest of the commanding officers were instead a bunch of aristocrat idiots who got their grades via corruption, friends in the right place, and nobility ties, and the sailors were literal rural conscripts who had never seen a ship.
Not much has changed since then it seems
@@captainufo4587
Not only had the rural conscripts not seen ships before, they were illiterate and sometimes had no idea that the ocean existed.
I'd already respect him for having the patience to not suffer a stroke out of sheer rage about having to deal with this shit.
Fun fact: During the battle of Tsushima, a young Isoroku Yamamoto lost two fingers. Had he lost one more, he would have been deemed unfit for the navy, which might drastically change history.
funfact a bullet just scraped his head if it had hit him between his eyes nagasaki MIGHT and bla bla blA AND IF THE ROOSE COULD WALK HE werent no cripple stop with the BS already pliease
Yes, History is full of that sort of thing........I wonder how many times Rommel came close to similar matters.
@@nicholausbuthmann1421 Probably a lot. Keep in mind, he was a stormtrooper during WW1.
Fun facts and all, but in reality history is almost never defined by single people. If one person hadn't been around, a very similar person would've taken their place. I'd argue that historical figures only ever affected time frames, never outcomes. Imagine the old "killing baby Hitler" thing - Germany at that time was extremely nationalistic, militaristic, xenophobic and suffered economically. There was never a peaceful way out of the Treaty of Verasailles with the atmosphere in the country, it simply had to be Fascism.
@@DrZaius3141 " If one person hadn't been around, a very similar person would've taken their place. "
You don't know that, nobody does. Pure conjecture. That's it. Don't make statements that you can't possibly back up with solid arguments & evidence.
Fact is, there were those SINGLE INDIVIDUALS in history who CHANGED history and we still vividly remember today (e.g.: Hitler).
I heard a legend that, as the Admiral lay in hospital, he asked one of his captors if they sank the Kamchatka in the battle. The Japanese officer responded that they had, and reportedly the Admiral sighed in relief and thanked his captor.
My favorite part was “they were afraid of being ambushed by Japanese torpedo boats… near Denmark.”
You left out one of my favorite parts of the Dogger Bank Incident - after the British trawlers limped home, the British Admiralty *lost its shit* and sent the ENTIRE BRITISH HOME FLEET after the Russians. The Home Fleet alone was larger than the entire Russian Navy, nevermind the bitty little Baltic Fleet, and was made up of the largest and most advanced ships the British had. I think it was something like the Russian Baltic fleet had six battleships to the Home Fleet’s twenty-seven.
Like imagine that for a second, being a Russian sailor probably already knowing that you’re sailing to your doom against the Japanese, waking up, looking out back, and seeing the most powerful fleet of the most powerful naval power in the world bearing down on your dinky little flotilla because you were stupid enough to fire on some British fishers accidentally and then were subsequently stupid enough to sail away rather than rendering aid.
It gets even better.
The British ALSO sent the Mediterranean Fleet (which was ALSO bigger than the entire Russian navy of the time) after the Russians, and the admiral in charge of the operation figured just four of his British battleships could destroy the entire Second Pacific Squadron.
@@bkjeong4302 Just, a comedy of errors from beginning to end.
@bluejay pls update that
The Brits had the last laugh though since I believe many of the Japanese ships were actually purchased from Britain
@@luisf2793Not just purchased, the Japanese officers went to school in Britain to be taught modern naval warfare
Best part was left out IMO - It's about the Russian repair ship (Kamchatka, a lead actor in this comedy) getting separated from the fleet for 3 days. When it finally found it's way back near Morocco, the captain was like "it's about time we found you guys; We fired hundreds of rounds at three Japanese warships and barely escaped with our lives!" Turns out they fired at a Swedish, a French and a German merchant ship, nearly alienating the whole of Europe by itself in a few hours. Perchance the gunners were just as incompetent as the captain. Ha ha ha.
That could have started WWI a decade early and with Britain and Germany on the same side…..
Were they even aware there were other people than Japanese on the sea?
@@musaran2 a russian peasant in 1905 mighr not have known there were countries outside russia before the war lol
The Kamchatka is my favorite comedy
@Ashakita Russian ship fired at European merchants thinking they were Japanese
As a Finnish person I can gladly attest we were all told this story in history class.
Gotta love the Finnish for shitting on Russia in history class
I'll bet just about anything that this isn't taught in Russia's history classes.
@@sneakyinvader4454 I am Danish, and was told about it too.
@@sablatnic8030 I too am Danish, and I wasn't (I think).
@@mnxs I'm old and went to school in the 60s, when it was a rather recent disaster. That could be the reason for telling us.
And suddenly it makes a lot more sense how a nation that doesn't even have a navy managed to sink a Russian warship in 2022
Not any warship, a flagship of the Russian Fleet
@@marcofavanot to woosh but thats the flag ship for the blacksea fleet but still, they lost a cruiser.
@@Bruh-td7ex YEah exactly what i meant of four russian fleets one has lost it's flagship
@@marcofava oh, should have read it but that's for clarification
@@allahuackbera you do realize neptune missile are made in Ukraine.
Good thing to see that the Russian navy has remained consistent over the past century.
Yes in 1981 a Soviet Baltic submatine got stranded deep into Swedish waters.
Deep russian navi traditions.
@@nocturne7371and was possibly sold to Pepsi afterwards, going from whiskey on the rocks to whiskey and cola.
In his defense, Admiral Rozhestvensky was one of the few competent admirals in the Russian navy, despite his temper. He was convinced from the get go the whole operation was dumb, bad and would end in disaster. He did everything he could to make sure his ships were as ready as possible including gunnery practice every chance they got, although with results similar to the one time you did mention, making sure to clean off the coal dust from the mass they left on deck before battle to avoid it catching fire if shot, trying to avoid combat and simply slip into Vladivostok without engaging the Japanese, and intentionally trying to ditch a second fleet of reinforcements so obsolete they'd only slow him down out of battle and sink in it. But he was given what was basically a suicide mission, so there's not much he could've done to change the outcome.
You’re not wrong, he was competent. Although from my understanding, he didn’t run gunnery practice all that often due to ammunition shortages. They were only given ammo for the battle ahead, and they’d already wasted a lot in incidents like Dogger Bank. But overall yes, he was a competent admiral given a bad hand.
@@BlueJayYT You’re absolutely right. I probably should have said “In the few chances he got” rather than “Every chance”, since that makes it sound like he wasn’t extremely limited in the times he could do it. Interestingly enough he managed to survive the battle, and was visited by Togo in hospital. When he got back to st. Petersburg, the entire command was put on trial for the failure, and despite everything he claimed complete and total responsibility, covering for his more incompetent subordinates who he had been chucking binoculars at during the voyage even though it meant the death penalty.
At the end of the day he was a good man for sure!
Really did him dirty in the video though
@@wheelmanv It was played up a bit for comedic effect. Gotta have the tainment part of Edu-tainment after all
Don’t forget the first officer who lost his mind on the voyage, and began to wander the deck of the ship, half naked, asking random passers by if they feared death. Not a reference, not a lie, truth is weirder than fiction.
Also the image of a bunch of Russians in the Siberian tundra opening boxes expecting winter duds and instead getting crates packed with large caliber artillery shells is hilarious af
That’s so fucking funny
@@casualsatanist also the american soldiers in korea expecting ammo but found crates full of tootsie rolls
Wait, is that where the Pirates of the Caribbean writers got the idea?
@@chasm671 presumably, though I would guess there were less tentacles involved
@@casualsatanist I don't know, they were at war with Japan.
You left out the best part about the Dogger Bank incident:
The *entire* British Navy at anchor in Scapa Flow was under way within 12 hours of the trawlers being attacked, steaming south at all possible speed. There really, really was almost war between the UK and Russia and that would've been such a trip.
"Well, where is this Russian Fleet? I can't see it."
"We ran over it, Sir."
"Did we? Good thing, too."
@@TomFynn One of my favorite trivia bits about the Baltic Fleet is that Rozhdestvensky left a large number of ships behind because they were old, dated junkers that he called the "Sinks-by-Itself Squadron".
And then the Admiralty sent them through the Suez to reinforce him while his fleet was going around Africa and he spent months evading them.
Not only did they come insanely close to a war, both of the two British fleets sent out were individually far larger than the entire Russian navy.
@@bkjeong4302 The admiral in charge of the British said he could take on all the Russians at once with just a handful of ships. I think 6?
Given the vast gulf in training, I believe it.
@@aircraftcarrierwo-class
4 actually, and since they somehow caused more casualties to themselves when shooting at an unarmed neutral stationary civilian fleet, I’d argue even that’s overkill.
This needs to be a movie in the same vein as "The Death of Stalin".
Im russian and when i found out about this part of our history, i couldn’t believe the sheer stupidity of such a maneuver. And when u start learning about the details, oh boy..
Do you know the story of the WWII destroyer USS William D. Porter? Its crew almost inadvertantly killed president Roosevelt. Twice. During war time. And that's not the most stupid they did.
@@martinpenwald9475 haha no i haven't heard about this story, i will look into it. thanks for bringing it up. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity (c) :)
@@Samski1987 In both cases, the incompetency comes from the higher-ups who didn't want to spend time and money in training.
id assume they do all that so that the chiefs make them return
@@martinpenwald9475 Can't believe the Captain made Rear Admiral and the Ship kept fighting in the war and died to a Kamikaze attack.
You left out one of the best parts. One of the cruisers (Vladivostok, IIRC) managed to escape the carnage of the battle. But its crew was so scared of the pursuing Japanese, that they sank the cruiser. Or rather, tried to, because they failed even at that, running the ship aground instead. A few weeks later, they managed to reach Port Arthur. On foot. Without their ship.
I can only laugh...🤣
Well, some of them accomplished their objective of reaching the port at least lmao
You had
One Job
You.. WHAT?
wtf lol
On one hand, throwing binos overboard is a really bad practice, but on the other hand, considering the quality of his crew Im kinda surprised that he did not suffer a stroke long before the voyage even started.
It’s a testament to his skill that he actually managed to drag this trainwreck all the way to Tsushima.
I think his second in command did.
@@bkjeong4302 Calling the voyage of the 2nd Pacific Squadron a trainwreck is an insult to all trainwrecks everywhere.
I remember when my history teacher told us this story in history class - took about 10 minutes and it was absolutely hilarious. Loved it.
Every history techer should have this story as a thing to tell when students need a great laugh.
I once attempted to sign up for the Russian navy. Unfortunately, as I was able to give an accurate definition of what a ship was, I was immediately disqualified.
lol you were to smart I love it explains why the Russian military is so stupid on the battle field🤣
@@raven4k998 *too
*Battlefield
@@keen8549 love is a Battlefield battlefield battlefield🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I tried to join the Russian Infantry but I can tell my arse from a building full of civilians so that left me overqualified.
A Russian ship or a NATO ship? Huge difference. NATO ships float.
Nice to see they've fixed their logistical issues, major lapses of discipline, tendency to fire on civilians, and penchant for nearly starting world wars with their terrible aim.
Given what just happened with Russia and Britain, this comment is even funnier
Hahaha
Oh that’s ESPECIALLY juicy after they fired a missile that landed in Poland and killed two people.
@@zacharytracy3797 it was confirmed to be a Ukrainian missile
At this point Russia is just a comic villan of the world...like team rocket from pokemon or something like that.
Imagine the thoughts of those fishermen at Dogger Bank, who had no clue wtf was happing lol
"Are we at war?"
"Since when?"
"Whose bloody ships are those?"
"Are they firing warning shots?"
10 min later
"Why are they still firing warning shots?"
"Are we Japanese torpedo boats?"
"No."
"Bloody foreigners."
This was the craziest russian expedition until "Kyiv in 3 days".
Weak post
@@BakarostNah its true
@@praphet6669 no, its not, its a typical left wing slander. Didnt even spell the capital right. Its Kiev. Crazist russian expedition would be expanding into sibera. Basically = the us west. But go ahead and get your browine points from your political faction. Wont help anything at all
@@Bakarost Ok
@@Bakarostoh great another hardline fascist conservative wannabe
The parrot bit killed me, and I can't believe the bit at the end with misidentifying the Japanese battleship. The whole thing is just a Cohen Brothers movie.
The whole Russia thing is just a Cohen Brothers movie.
Now i need this
Wait ... the parrot bit and killed you?
By the way, Japan attacked Port Arthur without warning nor declaration of war. This strategy was hailed at the time by the British as "brilliant", because, you know, Japan would not dare repeating the same strategy against anybody else, right ?
To be fair, I don’t think Russia was particularly angry about it.
Is history really so full of mostly morons that attacking without telling them you're about to attack was hailed as a brilliant strategy?
@@WlatPziupp Attacking without telling an opponent that you are declaring war is a VERY bad move diplomatically.
It completely alienates and isolates you diplomatically from the rest of the world, and every other country will react MUCH more harshly to events that could lead to war, but usually don't.
If the Russians had a reputation for attacking before declaring war, the British navy might have just sunk the Russian navy in this video, instead of simply blocking off the Suez to them, for instance.
Slight advantage in a war, but BIG BIG costs, and it rarely pays off, as seen in Pearl Harbor.
@@alecshockowitz8385 pearl harbour was a japanese victory, wdym it didnt pay off? They sunk and damaged a bunch of ships and then ran circles around the Americans got months afterwards
@@Daeyae They literally didn't meet any of their goals for the battle. They failed to sink the enemy carriers the main objective.
They attacked an enemy who effectively had their eyes closed for the combat, I would count it at best as a slight Japanese victory.
october 2022, we are witnessing the russian black sea fleet being crippled by a country without a navy
yet another shinning accomplishment in russian naval history
Russia: I want warm seas
Sea: I don't like you
Octupus face: Ah, another love story for the ages.
Calipso: I still want your heart.
Pirates of the Baltic: The Flaming Port
Wait Ukraine never had a navy
Ukraine had a navy but it was destroyed also what are you even talking about ukraine has only destroyed like 3 russian ships
the issue of having a conscript based army and a corrupt officer class
As a Russian, I’m not saying I’m ashamed, but definitely not surprised that everything went the way it did
Tbf it was ordered by Nikolas Tsar...
@@pneumon6990 his wife would make a better tsar than him
Homer: what's the opposite of shame?
Bart: pride???
Homer no, no that's too far...
Bart less shame???
Homer Yes; less shame
As a brit, I can say, with a heavy heart, that having realistic expectations of your country's capabilities (or lack thereof) is something we share. 🤣
Lol! I'm dying laughing from the rapid switch at the end
"while our gallant sailors hold their own against the Japa - The baltic fleet was *decimated*'
This channel is awesome!
Haha I'm glad you liked it!
@@BlueJayYT you are good.
It was quite more than decimated or 1/10th of the ships were sunk.
"Way to go buddy, let's add that one to the scoreboard... oh. *Oh dear.* "
Russian sailors: "I fear no man, but that *Thing* ..." *[looks to the repair ship Kamchatka]* "It scares me."
The greatest terror of the high seas
Do you see Torpedo boats?
@@MrSleepy677 I have a shirt depicting the Kamchatka saying "do you see torpedo boats?"
@@DerpyPenguin4747 Drachinifel?
@@MrSleepy677 No, I don't see any torpedo boats.
OPEN FIRE!!!
It's a joy to see the Russian military still strives for the same stellar strategies today.
Wait, they use strategies?
@@carlycrays2831 One of most popular is "scuttle our entire navy at Sevastopol so enemy won't take them". Nakhimov was praised for that so much a cruise ship was named after it... SS Admiral Nakhimov. Look it up... It never left port. Just drowned, with all the people on it.
Strategies? I thought Russia played this 5d chess every vatnik is talking about.
Gesture of good will.
Bluejay: "Marking the first time in history that an eastern power defeated a European one."
Genghis Khan: "Am I joke to you?"
If Bluejay does any videos on Genghis Khan? Yes
@@JLS639
Cue the Mongol montage
Wasn't that Batu? Temujin never really went into Europe, no?
@@KasumiRINA Personally? No. Though Temujin authorized a 'great raid' undertaken by his generals Subutai and Jebe in 1220. They made it as far west as the outskirts of modern Kiev and inflicted several defeats on the Georgians and Rus. Most of the subsequent Mongol campaigns against Europe were undertaken during Ogedei's reign, I believe.
Ottoman Empire: Am I am even bigger joke?
I'm kinda upset that you didn't cover all of Kamchatka's achievements. She was the greatest ship of the Imperial Japanese Navy.
This is an irony video and defeating people who shoot each other does not seem a major achievement.
@@hadracks The Kamchatka was part of Rozhestvensky's fleet. Technically.
@@GaldirEonai I just looked up the Kamchatka and see why it was so helpful to the Japanese navy. It had a terrible record.
Do you see Torpedo Boats???
@@masterskrain2630 "We're sinking!" - "Oh wait, just a leaky steam pipe."
Russians: Theres one thing that scares me
*pans over to Norwegian fishing ships*
Russians: Japanese torpedo boats…
And no thought how Japan would get torpedo boats to Norway or Doggerland.
@@Bacopa68 ninjutsu
@@craigstephenson7676 Flying Raijin Jutsu
No it's the kamchatka russia navy has never used the name since
They are also afraid of islands in the baltic. Like that time they actually managed to get a submarine stuck on swedish land while spying.
You'd think Russian incompetence was a Soviet heritage, but seems like it's in their character from olden days.
You can change change the Russian government, but you can't change the Russian spirit!
You have to appreciate that the Russian Navy said, "Yeah, this is working. Let's make this our primary strategy." This stellar process lives on to this day. The Admiral of the Russian fleet was killed today in Crimea.
Did this tragic event take place near a river?
A Crimea river? 🤣
Rochovinsky was actually a pretty good officer and was really the only one with any sense. He personally ran around yelling at gunners to hold fire during the donner bank incident. But he could not ever be free or his achilles heel... The komchatka. The levels of stupidity reached by that single ship eclipses anything ever seen by man.
I feel pity for this man that got litteraly send to a painfully long journey where he was sure to die.
It was really just because of a single ship! Man, that needs to be made into a feature length comedy.
no wonder why he was so angry
you would get angry too if you had to deal with that shit.
"do you see torpedo boats?"
I’ve just looked it up, built as a collier, converted to a repair ship, hardly an auspicious beginning! 🤣🤣🤣
Russian fleet: nobody wilp defeat us.
Fishing boat: *comes*
Russian fleet: *Panik*
... Russian are making World of Warships ...
@@cookiesupervisor2211 ironic
@@adankmeme651 : After the mass exodus of the CCs from WoWs, it seems WG is on its way to sinking itself.
@@hawkeye5955 yep
Imagine commanding a Russian fleet in the early 19th century only to discover that the crew are imperial storm troopers in disguise.
Dude don't compare the sailors to Imperial Storm Troopers even they had better aim then our Russian friends had
20th century
So... nothing's changed then.
Oh boy, this channel was a find. The algorithm finally got it right.
Much love from Brazil!
That’s great to hear, thank you so much! I actually was curious if I had a part Brazilian audience, I have a question for you: what do Brazilians think of Dom Pedro II? I’ve been reading about him some recently
Encontrar você aqui foi definitivamente a maior surpresa da minha semana. Fico feliz de saber q tenho um gosto parecido com o do meu youtuber favorito :b
@@BlueJayYT I once saw a video that said he was very smart, and wasn't as much of an asshole (for a monarch standard). And that's literally everything i know about him.
@@BlueJayYT He has a pretty cool guy, opened some schools, a lot of these schools function to these days, he commanded the army and won a war between us and Paraguay (we had an alliance with Argentina and Uruguay to stop Paraguay, but the majority of the battles happened in our grounds) he spoked 15 languages (I don't exactly how many, but it has a lot of languages) he has trained since birth to be Emperor.
He has hold at high regard at the time by the general population, and Brazil at the time has hold at high regards in Europe, but after they abolished the slavery they suffered a Coup d´Etat by the republicans who ran the coffee plantations.
For some reason, no one fought for the royal family, it was a very peaceful Coup in comparison to others around the world
And after the Coup d´Etat happened, he returned to Europe, and died in Paris, France (pneumonia) and his last words has ''God, grant me these last wishes peace and prosperity to Brazil''.
While they prepared his body to be buried, they found a message and a package with it that said: '' This is the soil of my land, I wish that to be placed on my coffin''. The package had soil of the provinces of all Brazilian lands.
So.... in a nutshell for us history dudes, he has generally seen as a cool dude with the best of intentions
but, for the average Brazilian today, they just don’t care to look at his history.
@@BlueJayYT There is a great video about him ua-cam.com/video/TMFEugM2Anw/v-deo.html
I love how nobody trained them for something as basic as identifying a hostile ship
as we can see now, history repeats itself
Oh, it gets better.
Most of the sailors were literally illiterate conscripts who didn’t know that oceans and seas existed.
@@user-ji1if8qj6n nope, not today
Exactly!!
In fairness, the many, many Russian torpedo boats they'd seen before this war cruise (which were very like the enemy ones they'd soon be 'seeing' everywhere), with low, sleek silhouette and turtleback bows - some might almost say 'dagger-like' - *did* look incredibly similar to the short, stocky, comically tall-funnelled & high-bowed - some might almost say 'crescent-shaped' - trawlers they actually saw everywhere.
The truly amazing thing about this video? It's from 2021. That is, the year BEFORE Russia started a war in which it kept losing its naval units (including the "state of the art" flagship) to a country with no navy.
and here we are in the modern day, where a Russian flag ship was sunk by a country that doesn't have a navy
This has a potential to be turned into a comedy tv series. Pure gold.
And we even got a season 2 now.
@@ezorod8060 season 3 already.
Ridiculous idea; this just has to be a movie! As a bonus, Putin would be sure to think that it was indirectly making fun of him.
@@MrAaronvee A Mini Series. There´s too much for a movie but not enough for a real series. But 4 or 5 one hour episodes would be great.
@@ChrisK312 And who do you see in the lead roles?
I knew immediately that this was going to be about the Battle of Tsushima voyage xD . Goes to show that only truth is stranger - and funnier - than fiction xD .
omg yes. The Kamchatka et al. I haven't even watched and I'm already laughing out loud hahahahaha.
Do you see torpedo boats ?
Drachifinel has some good stuff on this one. The bit about the binoculars was too good.
@@germanyjones2700 ‘ …. And then things got worse. ‘
This has to be the second funniest voyage I ever heard about, after the epic booze trip of the USS Constitution, with the added benefit of being true.
This needs to be a movie or TV show. Especially today.
This content aged well, very well, like a fine wine.
You've spoken so much about this fleet's incompetence, but when they manage to bring a *venomous* snake on board from *Madagascar,* even you have to admit that takes talent. They must've found the ONE mamba on the whole island, in a zoo in Antananarivo, and successfully pilfered it. Oh, and did I mention that Tana is in the Malagasy highlands in the middle of the island?
I actually think they started bringing their exotic pets aboard in Africa (Russian sources indicate such), where black mambas live.
Or they picked up a Leioheterodon in Madagascar: those are only mildly venomous.
Thank you, my thoughts exactly! My rule of thumb for geagraphically placing unfamiliar animals is:
Weird af + wants to kill you > Australia
Weird af + doesn't want to kill you > Madagascar
I couldn't really process how they managed to find a deadly snake in Madagascar.
Don't forget the crocodiles brought on board.
@Alan Lewis well everyone has to have hopes and dreams ☺️
@Alan Lewis it's also possible it wasn't a venomous snake but that the bite was infected. infected snakebites can kill you just as dead.
I like how there are actual constellations on the starry sky, not just random dots, it's a really nice touch.
I like to put work into my drawings :)
Japan to Russia "You don't seem to understand, China Isn't Yours to conquer".
China to Japan: Nor yours.
Another thing about the coal on the deck, it coated the ships in coal dust, resulting in them becoming huge Fuel-Air Explosives during the Battle of Tsushima.
This wasnt the Russo-Japanese war! It was a Russo-Japanese "Special Operation"
And that's going just as well as this fantastic voyage...
Only a Russian one. The Japanese just happened to be in the way.
They were simply trying to denazify the IJN!
Special? As in Special Olympics?
Japan loved sneak attacks then.
IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE RUSSIAN PARROT, IM SOBBING
There's a scene where they cut a underwater cable with an anchor. There's probably a story there where they couldn't figure out why one of the ships was moving slow until they figured out they had a anchor deployed.
It happened after Dogger Bank. The British Admiralty flipped its shit and launched the entire British Home Fleet against the Baltic Fleet. The Home Fleet was by itself larger than the entire Russian Navy and made up of the largest and most powerful ships in the British Navy. They forced the Baltic Fleet to make port in the French colony at Algiers until the Russians could 1) Apologize profusely enough, and 2) pay Britain enough money to not sink their ships in retaliation.
Bunch of Russians running around French Algeria went about as well as you’d expect. I’m sure the Kamchatka did something funny. But anyway when finally the British had been paid off and the Russian fleet got underway, one of their anchors severed the telegraph cable connecting Algiers to France.
I get the sense that the local French governor was probably watching them leave, glad to finally be rid of them, then hearing shouting and seeing the Russians sever the cable as they’re leaving. And he just kind of sighs.
If I was in charge of the Russian Baltic Fleet I'm sure I'd have anger issues too.
Me too 😂😂😂
Ah, Kamchatka. The greatest Japanese ship in the Russian navy
How did that got captured, what happened?
@@gabrielho1874
Obligatory r/wooosh joke.
Now that that's out of the way, he made that joke because the Kamchatka was such a detriment to it's own fleet due to the incompetence of it's crew.
2:13 "This group of inexperienced conscripts..." and "f & ck it, what better way than a trial by fire, right?"
Me in 2022: Yep, the foreshadow is strong with this one.
Russian gunnery hasn't improved much over the last century.
Or drone aim. Like I know several places hit by drones and BOI that McDonalds really could use a redecoration, no?
yeah, that's pretty much the best way to make an abridged version of Drachinifel's video about that trainwreck
Eyyyy.
That video had me laughing so hard
@@the13inquisitor59 you have to watch the Drachinifel video.
It's called: Voyage of the Damned
Throw binoculars in anger into the sea
@@kieranh2005 and the second half ua-cam.com/video/BXpj6nK5ylo/v-deo.html
just when they thought it couldn't get any worse
KAMCHATKAAAAA!!!!
As a sailor I struggle to comprehend this level of incompetence, these days everything is so precise in modern western navies that even slight mess ups bring huge shouts of incompetence.
except Msokva... oh you said "Western" navies, never mind,
While the enlisted were mostly untrained farmers and other peasants, the officers had their ranks literally just because they were sons of aristocrats. The incompetence was at every level in the Imperial Russian Navy.
It's a function of training and Vodka.
@@thelastholdout and they don't seem to have improved
I just hope Private Camo survived, he seemed like a competant and well mannered seaman.
The part where that parrot swore in Russian got both me and my friend in class 😂
I love how they, not only, almost sparked a war with the LARGEST NAVAL POWER IN EXISTENCE at the time, but they also almost kicked off a war with: France, Germany and Sweden by attacking their merchant ships.
Well that proves the point - "Don't stand on a Russian way!"
@@accckiy
Well, you can.
They'll just shoot at you and completely miss for the next 20 minutes.
What makes it even funnier is that on the second occasion they managed to nearly do this. Yes, the second occasion, the utter incompetence of the ships was so blatant that they were kinda just told to please leave as quickly as possible so they wouldn't be causing more trouble.
Innaffective Russian Military operations..
The more things change the more they stay the same...
And now the russian Black See fleet proudly took the torch and is already half-obliterated by the nation without any navy at all.
today you dont need navies to fight navies. Argument "lol ukraine doesnt have a navy..etc" makes no sense considering they took it with anti ship land to sea missile. Also only 10-15% of black sea fleet has been destroyed...while 100% of ukrainian fleet has been destroyed. Your ridicule of the rus makes no sense as it always doesnt.
There definitely needs to be a comedy film or mini series about this voyage alone. Everything that could’ve gone wrong, the amount of things that did go wrong, went wrong. 7 whole months of hard knocks and whacky shenanigans.
The "Voyage of the Damned" would make a great inspiration for a comedy. Also, the main reason for why many neutral ships were mistaken for Japanese torpedo boats was because of mass hysteria and drinking a little too much vodka from the captain and crew of the supposed repair ship Kamchatka (nicknamed by Admiral Rozhestvensky as "Lecherous Sl*t").
Edit: Accually did some more searching around and it turns out that most of incidents were all involving the Kamchatka and the only good thing it's ever done is just absorb Japanese shells + sinking at Tsushima.
Do you see Torpedo boats?
@@MrSleepy677 8 of the actually. They have us surrounded !
@@bogdangabrielonete3467 WE’RE SINKING!
Oh wait, it was a broken steam pipe.
Russia’s real only claim to being the Third Rome is apparently their shared inability to use boats
And apparently tanks, land vehicles, pretty much anything that would make a good target for NLAWS...
Theres a video going around of Ukrainian soldiers destroying a Russian helicopter with an anti-tank missile.
I'm not sure theres any piece if military equipment they know how to use.
@@neshirst-ashuach1881 Bonus points.
And ships.
It's the connection of Ivan the Terrible, the first Tsar of Russia and the byzantine princess who was his grandma if I remember correctly (ik this comment was a joke).
The Romans were able to use boats against the Punics, by using their land tactics on boats utilizing the corvus, they were masters at adaptation
This would make a great comedy movie.
20th century Russian Gunnery must've had the aim of stormtroopers
Meanwhile in 2022, Russian officers told their soldiers to dig trenches in Red Forest of Chernobyl
Russian idiocy has no limit.
And by "mistake " shot their own ensing flag ship, shot their own troops by mistake, told the enemy their exact positions using no encryption, sent the supplies to late and weapons instead of food
Russians following tradition
@@lupohutchington269 yes, acting this way is only possible if you have a russian soul
@@lupohutchington269 The Russian army...as effective as ever. Russia and their military is what happens when you put all your points on defense and none on offense.
"The Dumbest Russian Voyage Nobody Talks About"
Drachinifel: *Am I some kind of joke to you?!*
That is a great one! It was still a robovoice the first time I saw it.
I was thinking exactly this!
That channel is fantastic!
Yes.
Dude, I'm a Ukrainian and I've opened this video again just to say:yeah, there is a bit of another emberassement happened down at Crimea recently, Moskva, a russian warship went and fucked itself, it was awesome
If you've read the maintenance report on that ship, it reads more like a horror story.
Moskva was in no condition to even be sea worthy let alone in an active combat zone
@@phantomwraith1984 yeah , it’s a bit of a running theme . Also, the main power of this ship was russian propaganda since they officially started the invasion on Zmiyiniy island. That is the titular ship that went to fuck itself :)
What are your opinions on Israel-Palestine war?
@@spinyslasher6586Nice attempt to derail things, Ivan. Just relax and enjoy this funny video about how pathetic your military has always been, comrade.
@@MrCobalt I don't know a lick of Russian brother. Nice try though.
I just can't imagine anything like that happening today. It's amazing!
Whenever I hear this story, I always wish someone made a movie about it.
This would be an awesome comedy
Monty Python, maybe? I definitely could have seen John Cleese portraying Rozhestvensky in the style of Basil Fawlty.
Yeah..you d expect a Blackadder series of it played by russian actors..
Matt Evans - way too unrealistic even for Hollywood(!)
Maybe a prequel to the Death of Stalin
As a russian, who is only ever-so-slightly into history - we do talk about it. Because as much as we are brainwashed into being loud and proud of everything our ancestors did, there is nothing quite like shitting on insanely stupid major operations. You know, Russo-Finnish war, Afganistan, SELLING THE GODDAMN ALASKA FOR A HANDFUL OF SPARE CHANGE... Our history is full of impressive examples of stupidity of our proud people.
Really like your delivery, great stuff, tovarisch
what did the angry parrot say?
Thank you for Alaska 🙏 I lived there for a few years and it is beautiful!
My friend and I got snow-trapped on *Yesterday Island* for almost an extra week while visiting her family there…
It was so hard seeing Russia across the strait all day, every day and being tempted to walk over and say “hi!” 😜💖
It’s sucks that our countries can’t get their shit together and play nice with each other…because we share a shocking amount of similarities.🤣
@@ryanharris6850 It said Враги подходят с Востока! which means Enemies are coming from the East!
Knowing you guys are salty about Alaska makes me smile...
@@sophiefilo16 yeah, we ain't smiling about it for sure. Hard to smile thinking about the fact, that if we kept it - there would be untouched native tribes not slaughtered by the righteous forces of American "Liberation with blood" attitude. Salt is real, my friend, and tears only make it more salty
And they never improved since, the end:)
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Good to see that the Russian navy has maintained the same standard of competence all this time.
It's February 2022 and I gotta say, this explains a lot right now.
It's April 2022... even more prescient now..
British fishing boats: *exist*
Russian navy: "Those are Japanese submarines! FIRE!"
Russian navy ships: *also exist*
Russian navy: "Those are Japanese, Fire!"
*Japanese submarines roll up*
Russians: "Ah don't worry, Those are our own ships"
*Genius*
Not submarines, but torpedo boats. Very fast small SURFACE vessels armed solely with torpedoes (plus perhaps an odd machine gun). They were the reason why destroyers were created (the full name of that class of ships was originally "torpedo boat destroyer") because torpedo boats were too quick and agile for larger ships to either evade them or sink them with their big and slow-firing guns.
The Japanese ship they miss-identified was a scout cruiser so there really was no excuse.
They probably thought it was a false flag operation. 😜
None of them was a submarine!!!😂🤣
There actually was a submarine scare at one point when they were docked around Spain. They discovered that there was a miniature submarine in a shipping container on the docks and panicked thinking it was a Japanese ploy, nope the Russian government bought a submarine and forgot to tell the navy.
Ah man, i feel bad for admiral Roz. He was quite capable despite his anger management problems. He saw that those were trawlers in dogger bank and tried to have his ship pointing the search lights up to signal "do not engage". His officers were corrupt to the bone due to aristocratic descent, even shadowing their vessels on battleships relative to the flagship so they could go ashore to get drunk. He had very limited amno even to take gunnery exercises. He had to order confiscation of opium cigarretes his officers grabbed along the way. He fell sick during the voyage, allowing his officers to do moar shenanigans. He was injured during the battle and captured. He faced court martial after that.
Parrots live a lot, right? I like to think there is a parrot somewhere cursing around in Russian today.
The parrot died in Russia and its skeleton is currently in a museum IIRC.
This aged REALLY well !!!!
Their flagship only had some old amunition, it happens a lot.
But they do know how to protect a bridge
Flagship, most protected bridge, strategic pipeline, the Kremlin...
I had only three of these in my bingo card for "DO WANT" targets.
You forgot the part during the Dogger Bay where the crew of the Borodino thought they were being boarded by the Japanese so they started to abandon ship.
Ahhh the Ninjas of Norwich England. Don't mess with them
He also forgot the part when the captain became an opium addict by accident xd
I wonder what kind of vodka rations the Russian sailors were on for thinking that there were Japanese behind every rock...
@@Pikkabuu all of them. They were on all of the vodka rations.
No Igor, that’s not a samurai in a kimo waving a sword, that’s a grumpy fisherman’s wife with a spoon.
You forgot to add an important note, this war was so overwhelming for Russians, showed so many flaws in the system that it catalyzed the first Russian revolution in 1905.
It actually forced them to escalate conflict with Germany in to IWW in order to compensate for lost Russo-Japanese war first and that one caused revolutions.
Let's hope Ukraine is another catalyst for revolution and democracy returns to Russia.
@@CorsetGrace It was catalyst for WWI, which was catalyst for First Russian Revolution of 1917, which was catalyst for Bolshevik Russian Revolution of 1917. I highly recommend to wiki Russian Revolution. As for perspective of democracy in Russia, no so fast. Regular Russians for now very much in support of what Putin did for last 20 years and support what he does now. More than 50% for sure. How much they support it is other question. They call it "collective Putin". It is set of ideas which lives in both minds of elites and regular people. Unless Putin losses are spectacular, which Ukraine can't deliver by itself, nothing will happen. West is afraid of Putin and doesn't actually want for fall of Russian Federation because it will be very bloody process, with loss of natural gas and oil supply capacities from Russia.
@@Vlad_the_Impaler Economically, Russia isn't very important except for two words, Oil and Gas.
It's actually sad to think that the Russian people like totalitarianism and thought police.
George Orwell is either spinning in his grave or feels vindicated.
@@CorsetGrace Russian/Moscowit statehood, as we know it now, was formed in XV century under influence by Golden Hoard and later reinstated in XVII century and can only function under rigid rule of one person.
They call it Axis of Power. Whole history of Russia is loosening of it or tightening.
People in it almost always existed to serve state or its ruler, which in many cases meant same thing.
No mater what they try to build, they end up with an Empire ruled by an Emperor, under different names but with same roles and if you look carefully at the history of Russia, it is more or less history of conquest and colonization of it's neighbors, as result it needs "strong arm" to keep it together.
I see the Russian Navy has kept there traditions alive into the modern era
how so?
i do not know how many times i have watched this (and the reaction of a historian to this video) but i have to say, it is always hilarious and cheers me up.
Weirdly, we the British did this before the Russians, against the Russians. During the Crimean War, we had the oh so bright idea of attacking the far Eastern coast of the Russians. So, Rear-Admiral David Price, an excellent seaman, but also old and soft-hearted, had the task of getting a British fleet from assorted British ports to Petropavlovsk in Kamchatka. Well, the fleet had less problems than the later Russian fleet, but, thanks to Price's soft-heartedness, drunkenness was rife on board the ships, and yes, they also took pets from Africa - mainly parrotts - but Price had far less international incidents thanks to some superlative seamanship, and lost far less men to boot. Now the fleet's job was manifold but to land men on the Kamchatka Peninsular, provide support for said landing, and drive off any Russian ships that might interfere with the landing was the most important parts of it. And, in the moment of his greatest triumph, having got his fleet in reasonable order to execute this landing, an achievement of with he should have been justifiably proud, Rear-Admiral David Price, er.......shot himself. Why? Well I mentioned that Price had got rather soft-hearted with age. Well, the poor guy had driven himself into a state by thinking of the soldiers and seaman in his care, and the closer he got to Kamchatka, the more he fretted about sending these men to their possible deaths. And finally, it was too much. Unlike the sailing of the Russian fleet, this had a moderately good outcome, the British took Petropavlovsk, although casualties were high, and managed to hold it, much to the annoyance of the Russians. But think of Rear-Admiral David Price and ask - was it all really worth it?
Edit: A slight edit. Eventually, the Russians did manage to drive the British off Petropavlovsk, but the Russian's did admit that the action had cause a lot of worry and diversion of resources from the main theatre of war in the Crimea.
Well shit now I feel bad for a british Rear-Admiral that I didn't even know existed.
Thank you for this story. I never heard about the Far East theater of the Crimean war.
Shot himself the way Gary Webb did, or for real?
For real. Really sad, BTH.
Was the Price too high?
I'll be here all week
The Russian Baltic Sea Fleet: It was bad, but at least we lost against a navy of an emerging power. Nobody can do it worse!
The Russian Black Sea Fleet: Hold my vodka!
Either if Russia lost it to missiles, through an internal fire, or something stupid they came up, one thing is clear, the Russians were hell incompetent.
9 months and a war between Ukraine and Russia later...
Who was it?
They somehow lost to a non existent navy
What a silly thing to joke about. No need to have a ship on your own to sink an enemy ship
You know BlueJay's dedication to the measurements when he calculates the precise number of gumballs
I mean its just simple math. 1 mile=X gumballs so Y miles=X times Y gumballs
Is this about the war of 1904 or 2022? Its realy hard to tell this days.