People with ADHD will also do that…yet we’re far from from being emotional abusers lol I’m just out of a relationship with a BPD woman and it was hell on earth…NOT the same at all.
@@Sally-ih6ls Yes, I really have no problem with such people, clearly they have some problem and are in pain but sincerity I value and often it is interesting story from them.
My biggest red flag is mirroring or mimicking. Unstable sense of self. Identity disturbance. Copying people's personality, traits, interests. They become whoever they're dating, whoever they're friends with, whoever they're coworkers with, whichever parent is validating and supporting them.
I've healed a lot of my bpd issues through self-awareness, therapy, and videos on UA-cam. I'm on the autistic spectrum as well. I'm more quiet, bpd. I don't lash out at others, I turn it in on myself and make myself suffer. I'm not violent at all. I have really struggled with my emotions over the years. It's honesty hell inside at times. I'm really trying to work on myself. Compassion helps. Not treating us like monsters helps. We feel things so deeply. It's intense. It's like having a permanent open wound and rubbing salt in the wound all the time. Thanks for the video.
Me2. I felt that way before. I gave up drinking, learned to talk through life at life speed instead of medicate it. Gave up bad ideas taught to me my mom and others. Mistaken beliefs were abandoned. Open mind came into play. Realization of things. ❤just tried to be more intelligent in my applications in life.” but those bursts of emotion need be validated. So our partners shouldn’t be letting us RANT, but if we talk about a trauma, because it comes out sometimes, once they see your point, I just try to change my tone to chill and relax to let my partner know it’s all good.” ☺️💯
And yet they cry over not seeing them....saying the female partner used to dump (drop them off) them randomly on them. Yet you can not organise events... Everything MUST be randomly and impulsive to get them to partake.
That's my stepdaughter. She took drugs during her pregnancy, within months of giving birth, and gave her baby over to her father, my ex-husband. He now cares for the little one. She's more interested in getting high with her boyfriend than to carry for her daughter 😢
Absolutely spot on. My ex hated his grown children because he had nothing in common with them because their mother blocked him out of their lives when young...for good reasons
@DashadashaPilova Wow all these comments are exactly what my Covert Borderline (undiagnosed) did....crying over kids not there and saying ex randomly dumped them. What fragile liars they are.
@phillipbridge5009 they ruin everything if preplanned because it's all about their anxiety & nothing or no-one else matters. Babies, of the highest order
First thing I will look out for from here out is the speed of movement and transfer of information.. I knew the girl for four weeks and felt like she had been my best friend my whole life . Oh and at the same time you will be made to feel like your a savior from a long line of really mean people .. they seek empathetic people that can transform into a hero complex. Then the hooks are in deep.
David, it's amazing how you cover all aspects of bpd behavious as if it's from first hand experience. At 19:06 you mention how they compermentalize, i remember my bpd x tell me after we stopped seeing eachother, don't worry i'm not dropping you (meaning i'm part of the pool of guys she will call upon when needed). In my case it was for outings, trips and vacations. I'm real happy i got her our of my system, went to see family in Europe after many years, saw what family and friends is all about, they were just happy to see me and loved me unconditionnally for who i am and not what i provide. Please keep up your great work on this channel
🚩🚩🚩 Alcoholic/addict Refuses to accept help or advice Lies / uses confusing communication Non stop anger/Offended/Dramatic Hyper critical of everything Manipulative tactics Risky sexual promiscuity Refusal to admit fault/consequences for behavior/results Possessed by a demon(?)
Try not to forget that. Highly manipulative people always have adoring people around them and seem to be well liked but that's because of the superficial chArm!! Fake mask !! They can fool everyone except the ones closest to them getting abused! Sometimes people don't trust after getting burned badly so they don't have a lot of people around them
When we met, she had just one new friend. No old friends from high school, university, old jobs (which she had 5 at the age of 28) or from old marriage. Moreover, she changed her "best friend" at least 7-8 times during our 2 years of relationship. She would go on to be best friends with a total stranger literally in 5 minutes, and dump them within couple of weeks/months without any clear reasoning
What I find interesting is how much our own biased perception influences how we think about others. At first, I was almost certain my ex had BPD. She was so emotional, switching moods, the depressive talks, etc etc. But, now a few years later, realizing how calculated she was, the category covert narc would be more fitting. No cut marks, no suicidal panicks, just the "you make me depressive" kind of vibes. Yet cannot keep the same jobs, the continous victimhood while being the obvious cause. The very well done smear campaign and perfect behaviour in public made me realize she was in full control in most cases. I've spent quite some time thinking what disorder I came into contact with, and the only conclusion I could make its impossible to determine. She is manipulative, physically draining and dangerous for health long-term. People don't need to know more, but I hope videos like these help other people. That said, I'd also find it very interesting to see a video on the victims calling themselves clear empaths. I honestly feel like in a majority of cases these people have borderline or even narcissistic characteristics themselves.
My wife is exactly like that and after being introduced to religion has become more narcissistic because she believes that she has the ultimate authority over everyone else because she has a relationship with God. It's absolutely exhausting and I can't do it anymore.
@InvisibleJesus1919 I knew a woman exactly like this. Although she is not married anymore, she uses her religion the same way. I'm so glad she's no longer in my life.
Stellar video David. You really reinforce the reality of who they are and dispel the ruminating memories of the good that we miss in them. There was good. And hoping that good could just come back and stay forever is a fantasy we must shake out of.
Extremism in general is a big sign of having any personality disorder. When I was younger I thought extremists were cool because they went against the norm and fully believed in something, but now I realize they just had no ability to see nuanced perspectives and couldn't moderate themselves.
Good morning, David! I’m having a four day weekend in Michigan with my family. One thing he didn’t like is questions! If you had more then three, he would explode!😎❤️
Keeping Lots of promiscuous contacts on social media, phone etc despite being in a new relationship. scars on arms. Sweating a lot, anxiety, moving very quickly, talking badly about exes, extreme sensitivity to ‘criticism’ . Great video David.
Evidently, I overlooked every single red flag with my last girlfriend before we started dating. I overlooked the fact that she had over 100 sex partners, that she had multiple failed engagements, that she always blamed the guy for the relationships failing and that she would blame me for "triggering" her PTSD from a previous relationship simply because I would call or text her out of concern for her well-being. I ignored all of these red flags because she was so nice to me in the beginning and was very attentive to me. And what the hell, we all made mistakes in the past, right? She would always tell me she thought I would cheat on her and then leave, so when I actually committed to her in a way to show her I was all in, she then ghosted me the one night for no reason and blamed it on me the next day for triggering her PTSD again. It was back and forth for the next few weeks before I finally had enough. There was literally no way to be right with her in anything I did. And after I left, she accused me of abandoning her when she needed me the most. At the time, I knew very little about BPD, but after she accused me of having it, I did my research and saw that most of the criteria applied to her, not me. I wasnt educated enough on the topic to realize I had been put through the idealization phase and the devaluing phase in the span of a few months. But now I know how to avoid these traps in the future. And the funny thing is, she is now telling everyone how I manipulated and mentally abused her all that time. It is always the same pattern. These people can't be helped without intensive therapy.
id say thats actually your neglected self respect more than anything. If you had concrete evidence she slept with over 100 people, or she outright told you, as a MAN you have a duty to not be in a relationship with her. Full stop.
@@Jtanman93, I get it, but let's just say my own history of dating women wasn't always saintly. I wasn't trying to be a hypocrite, but yeah, there were big red flags.
dude the same kind of thing happeend with me. she got triggered once and ghosted me for entire day even talked with other guys but did no contact with me , lateon she blamed me for triggering her ptsd
Her "best friend" was someone whom she had never met in person. She went to him online when she needed support--- She actually said this person was a better friend to her than I was, who was loving and caring to her 5,6,7 year old daughter, who saw her through standing up to her abuser, in a custody battle... Mind blowing stuff.
This! What IS this behavior? I’ve been triangulated with a ‘is nothing, do nothing provides nothing’, all while I was giving all I was and all I had. Unbelievable….
I cut off a narcissistic and toxic ex friend that used to say she hates drama. She always poked little jabs at me for no reasons. When I finally blocked her she went to one of my friends and talked trash about me to my friend. She was also always a victim, always something wrong with her, but yet lived a privileged life.
Another excellent summeration. In the very early days, my ex male bpd would announce several times that 'I don't bring problems, I bring solutions' . Jesus, if that isn't back to front thinking I don't know what is!!
If they call themselves "a baddie" or says something like "if you don't tolerate me at my worse, you don't deserve me at my best", call themselves "a price", high body count, child from different father/mothers..
My borderline stbxw talked about her job for around two hours every night. And of course how terrible they were or how they screwed her or made her life hell. I don't even think after 17 years she truly knew what I actually did at work.
@@DeMarsCoaching The last 3 months of our marriage, we bought a house and she changed jobs. Bought our "forever home". The new job I noticed very quickly were mostly single people. Hawks. And in this video, the first 3 sounded more like me than her. The rest were solidly her. Never saw cutting or self harm. She did things to make me not trust her then turned it against me. Like going out of town, partying and turning her phone off. Cutting communication. My lack of trust in the end made me feel like the crazy one. I doubted myself at times. But I found out later it had been the plan for around a year and a half. A game. She won. No doubt. Still winning. The more I learn the more it terrifies me. That maybe I never knew her at all.
@@Sally-ih6ls Found out while she has been emotionally torturing me the past year, she's also been having an affair. Not the first time she's cheated. But this time it was different. She'd tell me she was going to this hotel for a meeting. Next to his office. She was there many times. She would grin at me and tell me she has never cheated and would never cheat. That was earlier this year. The grin made me feel, I don't know, icky? Not one Christmas present to any of us this past Christmas. Kids even questioned that one. I'm just a simple guy. Try to do the right thing. Stand by my family. I hate being so naive. Blinders on purpose. Went for a long walk this morning. I came to the conclusion that I can't change anything. I can't change what could never be changed. I can't process lies correctly. If at all. And that I don't have to live it every day now. Trauma bond still exists. I feel it. We have kids and I'm terrified that I will never totally be able to break free. She will always be there to torment me in some capacity. Thank you for your kind words. I can use reassurance.
Yes definitely stay away from someone who will abuse you or hurt you. Not everyone does but think twice or thrice when encountering anyone who waves even one obvious red flag. Get to know them. Don't be a victim.
The passive aggressive behavior is a big one for me. And insta relationship, when you’ve only known eachother for a month or two and all the sudden you’re in a full blown relationship and you completely skipped the getting to know each other phase, and they want you to stop being friends with people you’ve known for years and years simply because they are a different gender. Accusing you of doing things you aren’t doing. Ugh, there’s so many deal breakers when I sit down and really think about it.
Random note - your voice is great. You've got that sinatra/martin/bublé tonality. I bet you can sing really well! Aside from that lol, I very recently (only days ago) went no contact with my angry, aggressive, toxic alcoholic ex (suspected BPD but never will go get help or a diagnosis) and I've been feeling much relief watching your videos. I can literally tick every box when it comes to how he behaved. Impossible to coparent with him but I'm trying to do my best with our 2 kids. Thanks for your content and all the info.
David. I just watched a video on the long game of gaslighting. Tim Fletcher. It blew me away. I mean word for word. I think it's a big reason I am where I am right now. I didn't know it built up. Over a long period of time and the immensely damaging effects of it. Not just words. It broke me down. I still question myself because of it. Could you do a new in depth video explaining the long game of gaslighting? You explain things so well. We would really benefit from this. Thank you for everything you do and all of us that you help.
Urgh. Thankyou for sharing, I WAS considering myself in recovery for the super harmful things, but there's definitely some majour patterns that still come up. Scared away a guy I went on one date with 😐 Just going to keep doing the work 😅
My biggest red flag is I met a gal at the ski group lodge who introduced herself to me and we talked and went down to the lake, I shared some of my ideas about where I wanted to move to and she mentioned that she lives in Reno and I would be welcomed to come for a weekend at her place and she would show me around. We went to Virginia City for the day and that’s one of my favorite places. That night while we were kicking back watching a movie she brought up when her and this other man who was showing her around the lodge just happened to open the door to the room I was in , I was a bit surprised but it was ok because I was just looking at my email. She said something that night while we were just kicking back about that situation and said they didn’t mean to walk in just in on me in case I was playing with myself and the only response I could think of saying was well I would have locked the door if that was happening. I didn’t know what else to say, I wouldn’t have said something like that to someone I didn’t know. I reflected on it later and her comment made me feel uncomfortable. I’m still considering moving to Reno and I have no problem with being by myself. I’m an adult and I’m actually excited about exploring and moving forward with my plans. Does anyone reading this understand why her comment made me feel weird? If you don’t know someone why would you say something like that. I’ve decided to keep any association with this person casual going forward because I’m sure we will all ski together at some point.
Those are your boundaries. Your comfort zone and she stepped way out of it. You dont have to question why so much and don't let others do it. What she said is inappropriate and socially awkward.
@@DeMarsCoachingthank you for responding, I understand why I second guess myself. I’m here at the lodge for a planned event, that same individual is here with a guy friend and I made a comment about boundaries which was in the way of saying when someone crosses my boundaries I don’t give second chances I noticed that she and the guy coped a bad attitude towards what I said. I was very firm about my comment but didn’t think that their response to it seemed right so I’m keeping to myself while I’m here because I’m feeling like this person is into the gossip mode. If someone gets defensive that tells me something’s up. She’s not coming across as friendly anymore. My gut feelings are telling me something is off. I’m not including myself in the activity for this weekend because I got hurt from a kayaking accident two weeks ago and I’m feeling things out so I’m refraining from doing anything further to aggravate the area. I’m staying neutral so as to not cause problems however something doesn’t feel right as far as the reaction I’m getting from other people here. I think it’s time to trust myself when it comes to situations like this and I’m telling you about it to see what you make of it. I’ve had such so much disrespect towards me my whole life that I’m done and I don’t want to be grumpy cat for the rest of my life but this has to stop. There’s no logical reason why I have to go through the rest of my life being made to be someone else’s personal punching bag, I don’t deserve it. I’m trying to be careful about not spilling all the tea about myself when I meet people as a result of my personal experience. When you’re being cautious and careful don’t people still pickup on that and isn’t that an indicator for others to be respectful of the information that you feel you want to share. It’s about 3am right now but I wanted to share this with you and get your feedback.
I certainly find weird that's the first thing she thought about. And the whole interaction was weird in my opinion, it's someone that you could just date casually, but nothing more serious than that.
I’m not the least bit scared, my guts telling me something is going on behind my back. There’s more red flags I’ve picked up on and if someone’s afraid because you’ve made it be known that you have boundaries not to be crossed I know exactly what that means. I was just taken by surprise because this person invited me into her home and now I’m being treated as if I’m the bad guy. Here we go again in bully land.
13:39 I broke up with a woman because she would call 15 times a day at my workplace. I didn't knew much about BPD or other disorders at the time. She was calling me few times a day the next day we started dating. It was never enough. I just thought she was extremely needy and it annoyed me.
My recent experience of trying to date again. She stormed off in a rage because a work friend was talking to me in the street walking along beside us so she stormed off. I had to chase her down and it was all because she felt like she wasn't wanted and felt like a third wheel despite him and I both trying to talk to her. Had a meltdown in a store because I didn't hold her hand (after maybe 6 weeks of dating and she is 41 years old btw). ALL her exes are Narcs and cue the dramatic stories of all the narcs in her family. Would rant to me about exes despite me saying i don't want to hear about your exes. everything had to be about her and she was hyper critical of everything and everyone. She had a melt down that I didn't see her sat somewhere despite fact she never called me over, could have messaged me to say hey im sat here or could have walked 30feet to sit next to me but nope I was drawn out as the bad guy in that and everything was all my fault as per usual. That is where I ended things as I don't need nor want drama in my life. I think for once I have used my head and spotted the red flags and walked away at an early stage but i need work on myself to understand why i keep attracting these types.
Hello David Paul from Wisconsin. Hopefully you are doing great 👍. Thanks for the video. Alot of what you said 💯,was my x. Almost ready to go back to work
The BPD woman I dated was Hyposexual... even after weeks of love-bombing me, she froze up with fear when it came to sex. Probably sexual trauma... but who knows.
Ooohh. Good one. Before I even get into it, my guess is, 1. Oversharing. 😂I bet he says that one. 2. Trauma bonding. When you share gross stories of human maladaptive scenarios, you’re saying IM DISTURBED. Things bug me. And that’s ok to do. Once. 😂but these stories will come up everyday. Everyday you’ll be charged up with stories of WOAAH and levels of projecting that make heads spin and feel uncomfortable. They’ll be painting themselves as a hero, on a story where they were a clear harm in most cases.” Put it this way, if the person tells you the coffee wasn’t made right, with the energy of “My dog died?” 😂that’s borderline. My guess. ❤some people put too much energy into everything. 1. Talk too much. 2. TOO NEEDY 3. TOO MUCH eye contact. 4. EMOTIONAL agreement. If they REQUIRE agreement or else, that’s a cue. If a person cannot ever stretch his/her head around a concept they can’t perceive? 😬🧠💯
Love your humour 😂😂 even for an American. Now my red flag is someone trying to be everything so charming it' extreme it's perfectionist, the look, ppl are drawn to them
Yeah... And when they cut themselves, it's your fault, always is...If they threaten you with suicide and that they will blame it on you......RUN, don't be me and stay and endure..Run, I beg you
Yes his a workaholic always wants to be phoning the office to solve a problem, no hobbies just work, no friends, he always finish a conversation at work with , " no drama" but talks about others at work with his work, who's good who's bad, the boss of the business loves him, and others always love talking to him, it's like he divides and conquers. Says about someone being so angry anther guy at work, I'm sitting there listening thinking. Well little do they know, your angry.
11:56 my GF which fits well here with the false accusation hyper critical and the Tarot fortunte tellers. She is into this BIG TIME. And DARE if they say something negative about me the BF then wow she believe it like instantly. It is just insane. Also the hyper sensitivity but she can call me and insult me how she wants. LOL
My ex’s parents seemed to have no respect for others’ time. They were always making plans that we’d only find out about right before the event, like same day! And he’d feel guilty if he didn’t show up… like, they gave us no notice! This is every time they made plans. And he was so sensitive to how they might judge him but didn’t seem to care what screaming at me and calling me names and trying to intimidate me might say about him. I don’t get it. I miss him emotionally but I’m practicing sticking with my boundaries which are: no lying and no dehumanizing anyone because that’s just a form of lying.
Wait!!! Haha Medicated bipolars can have a normal life, we 🙃accept when make mistakes and apologize, we can communicate when we have entered a depressive state or hypomania and ask for help, and we feel guilty when hurting someone to the point of having severe insomnia for days. I dated a borderline girl... disguised as bipolar.. they feel no remorse, and can't take responsibility for their actions, they play with your head, never apologize NEVER, and never make mistakes, they set traps and threaten you, and they leave you with no explanation then reach you back weeks later... in my case 4 TIMES I was stupid enough to fall for it the 4 times... because... impulsivity. ❤TEAM BIPOLAR HERE❤!! stay away from BORDERLINES they destroy you no matter what mood stabilizer you are taken they need you to fall and blame you for everything so they are "Perfect".
@@SurnaturalM Exactly, properly medicated, bipolar is a chronic condition. But medication alone is not enough, it has to be complimented with sleep hygiene, sports, and being surrounded by good friends, NO DRUGS, learned that the hard way. Anyway, if you don't have an excellent routine surrounded by good people, and family support, you can go into remission if you stumble across BAD people, Borderlines, Narcissists, and PSYCHOPATHS. Bipolars have to be very aware of other people, we have weak points that cluster B people can easily exploit to their favor, like impulsivity, insomnia, and low self-esteem when we are in a lows depressed state like S.A.D.
Attention seeking is so weird. I joked with my boyfriend when I said we go walk at the mall so you can get attention and talk to others. They have friends with tons of aliases, shady individuals.
Hi. Would like to know what you think, it's a trait I've noticed that goes in cycles, like his mood, there's a overreaction if someone doesn't understand what his told them, or sometimes you just didn't hear it, so you ask him to say it again, I've done that before not heard it, but the reaction is extreme , he says it's disrespectful that no one listens. But I find a lot of this very autistic.
I was in a relationship with a female very recently, she told me from the start she had BPD/EUPD, like a fool I thought I could save her. It was a rollercoaster, ups and down, there were times it was ‘normal’ but those times were short and always followed with a rapid decline. It would flip from I love you to I hate you, at first she told me she hated me right out the blue, she’d been out with friends rang drunk and told me she hated me. The next day she said sorry and that it was the alcohol, I forgave her and the next time she drank, the same words would come out, it got to a point where it was so frequent I became anxious when she would drink. Every time she would apologise the next day and say she ‘isn’t like that’ and blamed the alcohol. I began to realise that these flashes were who she is and the person I saw her as In the beginning, I had created in my mind. My boundaries would get further and further taken away because I was forgiving behaviour that was a red flag. After 6 months is he punched me in the face, drink again, like a fool I bought the apology in the hope that one day it would go to like it was for a very short period when we first met. David’s videos helped me realise what for some reason I could see, I was in an abusive relationship and I was trauma bonded. I accepted things I should never have accepted in the hope of a better tomorrow, every time I raised the subject of her treatment towards me all I would get back is ‘you made me’ or ‘let’s not talk about it, it’s in the past now’ or she would just flat out deny and blame shift. I truly hope anyone who is in a similar situation or is with a person with BPD finds it in themselves to walk away. It’s been hard since we broke up I miss the illusion of I’m honest and I create thoughts of her being different with someone else but when I feel like that I listen to David’s videos, some nights I play them lying in bed to retrain my brain and break the trauma bond. David if you ever see this comment, thank you. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your knowledge and for your guidance, I wish you and everyone else effected by this all the happiness in the world
David I gotta ask, have you ever come across or heard of women with bpd that never cry? I dated one that never told me she has bpd but in the beginning told me she is broken and I need to run away and save myself. She has 100% of all bpd signs with a few overlaps of npd. Never once in 7 years that I was with her did she ever cry or come close to it. She says she can’t do it and even feels awkward sometimes if women at work crying in front of her. I always thought this was highly unusual/disturbing.
Talks about EX every day. Definitely not healed, even 33 yrs later. His mom was toxic as f.... Woah. His mom, dad, sister, son made a toxic family. I had to run. Feeling so peaceful now.
Are you saying this couldn't be discovered after 12-15 yrs? It would be full on from the get go? Or can you slowly see a pattern and then with dissatisfaction it really comes forward?
The only people offended by any of this are the undiagnosed who continue to spiral down the drain in the misery of their own lives and refuse to get help, while destroying every relationship they get involved with. If there was a way, I could get my ex to watch all of your videos and somehow understand, it might make the time that I wasted with her worth it. All I can do is sit back and watch the dumpster fire.
I was in a relationship with a women that I loved… she had eubpd and ptsd.. etc and she ended up cheating on me and played the manipulation card.. this video is helpful thanx
from south africa Hi David if you haven't yet done so in the past can you please make a video on why C-Ptsd makes you feel overstimulated when going to the mall.
and people try to treat you based on logic, your parents wont do something like that, they give you everything you need. your mom wont lie to me because she acts so nice. You should stop acting out and just believe you have anxiety. you say you have an ear infection but there is nothing wrong with your ears. you cant apply logic to people who don't act logically.
I have to stop watching you. I'm trying the best I can to control BPD and trying my best not to burden people and to be as normal as possible. I finally found a video where you claim to not hate Boarderline people. However, you don't quite come across this way and reading the comments. Wow, a lot of hate seems to come through. But I'm Boarderline, so what do I know.
Such an accurate description of my ex BPD partner... the Tarot, the fixation on cosmetics and skin care... and of course, how to forget the splitting 😂🥲
The first red flag for me is when they blurt out every bad thing that ever happened to them. When I've only met them once.
Emotional dumping, isn't it so uncomfortable?
@@DeMarsCoaching No, it isnt, I guess you are the type whos uncomfortable with lots of things.
Borring.
People with ADHD will also do that…yet we’re far from from being emotional abusers lol I’m just out of a relationship with a BPD woman and it was hell on earth…NOT the same at all.
@@fovoono7927 really? You just said that?
@@Sally-ih6ls Yes, I really have no problem with such people, clearly they have some problem and are in pain but sincerity I value and often it is interesting story from them.
biggest red flag: goes totally mental upon hearing me say anything that sounds like "no."
That "smiling no" test is for real.
Good one, imagine all you have to do see toxicity is say no! Lol
Ya, anybody who makes excuses for mistreatment 😬🤙🏻💯
My biggest red flag is mirroring or mimicking. Unstable sense of self. Identity disturbance. Copying people's personality, traits, interests. They become whoever they're dating, whoever they're friends with, whoever they're coworkers with, whichever parent is validating and supporting them.
Yes this .
The worse he got the more he used words and phrases that weren’t his. It’s as if he had no self. So odd.
I've healed a lot of my bpd issues through self-awareness, therapy, and videos on UA-cam. I'm on the autistic spectrum as well. I'm more quiet, bpd. I don't lash out at others, I turn it in on myself and make myself suffer. I'm not violent at all. I have really struggled with my emotions over the years. It's honesty hell inside at times. I'm really trying to work on myself. Compassion helps. Not treating us like monsters helps. We feel things so deeply. It's intense. It's like having a permanent open wound and rubbing salt in the wound all the time. Thanks for the video.
Me2. I felt that way before. I gave up drinking, learned to talk through life at life speed instead of medicate it. Gave up bad ideas taught to me my mom and others. Mistaken beliefs were abandoned. Open mind came into play. Realization of things. ❤just tried to be more intelligent in my applications in life.” but those bursts of emotion need be validated. So our partners shouldn’t be letting us RANT, but if we talk about a trauma, because it comes out sometimes, once they see your point, I just try to change my tone to chill and relax to let my partner know it’s all good.” ☺️💯
My biggest and scariest red flags are: addictions and babies from previous relationships that have been abandoned by them.
And yet they cry over not seeing them....saying the female partner used to dump (drop them off) them randomly on them. Yet you can not organise events... Everything MUST be randomly and impulsive to get them to partake.
That's my stepdaughter. She took drugs during her pregnancy, within months of giving birth, and gave her baby over to her father, my ex-husband. He now cares for the little one. She's more interested in getting high with her boyfriend than to carry for her daughter 😢
Absolutely spot on. My ex hated his grown children because he had nothing in common with them because their mother blocked him out of their lives when young...for good reasons
@DashadashaPilova Wow all these comments are exactly what my Covert Borderline (undiagnosed) did....crying over kids not there and saying ex randomly dumped them. What fragile liars they are.
@phillipbridge5009 they ruin everything if preplanned because it's all about their anxiety & nothing or no-one else matters. Babies, of the highest order
First thing I will look out for from here out is the speed of movement and transfer of information.. I knew the girl for four weeks and felt like she had been my best friend my whole life . Oh and at the same time you will be made to feel like your a savior from a long line of really mean people .. they seek empathetic people that can transform into a hero complex. Then the hooks are in deep.
David, it's amazing how you cover all aspects of bpd behavious as if it's from first hand experience. At 19:06 you mention how they compermentalize, i remember my bpd x tell me after we stopped seeing eachother, don't worry i'm not dropping you (meaning i'm part of the pool of guys she will call upon when needed). In my case it was for outings, trips and vacations. I'm real happy i got her our of my system, went to see family in Europe after many years, saw what family and friends is all about, they were just happy to see me and loved me unconditionnally for who i am and not what i provide. Please keep up your great work on this channel
🚩🚩🚩
Alcoholic/addict
Refuses to accept help or advice
Lies / uses confusing communication
Non stop anger/Offended/Dramatic
Hyper critical of everything
Manipulative tactics
Risky sexual promiscuity
Refusal to admit fault/consequences for behavior/results
Possessed by a demon(?)
Wow I hear ya on the “Possessed by a demon”. Experienced with this girl (w/bpd) I was in a situationship for a month
Biggest red flag. No sign of any friends or family despite her supposedly being sweet as Bambi.
Thats a really good one. Its not definitive on its own but not good with more red flags.
Not everyone likes being around a bunch of people. I find most people to be annoying 😂
Try not to forget that. Highly manipulative people always have adoring people around them and seem to be well liked but that's because of the superficial chArm!! Fake mask !! They can fool everyone except the ones closest to them getting abused! Sometimes people don't trust after getting burned badly so they don't have a lot of people around them
THIS !!!
When we met, she had just one new friend. No old friends from high school, university, old jobs (which she had 5 at the age of 28) or from old marriage. Moreover, she changed her "best friend" at least 7-8 times during our 2 years of relationship. She would go on to be best friends with a total stranger literally in 5 minutes, and dump them within couple of weeks/months without any clear reasoning
What I find interesting is how much our own biased perception influences how we think about others. At first, I was almost certain my ex had BPD. She was so emotional, switching moods, the depressive talks, etc etc. But, now a few years later, realizing how calculated she was, the category covert narc would be more fitting. No cut marks, no suicidal panicks, just the "you make me depressive" kind of vibes. Yet cannot keep the same jobs, the continous victimhood while being the obvious cause. The very well done smear campaign and perfect behaviour in public made me realize she was in full control in most cases.
I've spent quite some time thinking what disorder I came into contact with, and the only conclusion I could make its impossible to determine. She is manipulative, physically draining and dangerous for health long-term. People don't need to know more, but I hope videos like these help other people.
That said, I'd also find it very interesting to see a video on the victims calling themselves clear empaths. I honestly feel like in a majority of cases these people have borderline or even narcissistic characteristics themselves.
Thank you! I'm going to do a video on Super Empaths! These disorders are often comorbid, most professionals just list them as personality disorders.
BPD people do smear campaigns too
Empaths are just people who lack emotional boundaries.
@@SurnaturalM I somewhat agree with that, I just don't like people that are self-entitled empaths. That's my red flag, if any
@daviddemars super empaths are usually narcs hiding in plain sight in my opinion
They are attention seeking all the time. And jealous, always in competition with you.
My wife is exactly like that and after being introduced to religion has become more narcissistic because she believes that she has the ultimate authority over everyone else because she has a relationship with God.
It's absolutely exhausting and I can't do it anymore.
@InvisibleJesus1919 I knew a woman exactly like this. Although she is not married anymore, she uses her religion the same way. I'm so glad she's no longer in my life.
Yes bro
A red flag to me is that when they call almost everyone around them "narcissist" or "unstable" especially if their parents, family members or exes.
Stellar video David. You really reinforce the reality of who they are and dispel the ruminating memories of the good that we miss in them. There was good. And hoping that good could just come back and stay forever is a fantasy we must shake out of.
Extremism in general is a big sign of having any personality disorder. When I was younger I thought extremists were cool because they went against the norm and fully believed in something, but now I realize they just had no ability to see nuanced perspectives and couldn't moderate themselves.
Good morning, David! I’m having a four day weekend in Michigan with my family. One thing he didn’t like is questions! If you had more then three, he would explode!😎❤️
Keeping Lots of promiscuous contacts on social media, phone etc despite being in a new relationship. scars on arms. Sweating a lot, anxiety, moving very quickly, talking badly about exes, extreme sensitivity to ‘criticism’ . Great video David.
They hate everything about their abusive exes, yet still secretly talk to them weekly.
@@jasec2252 exactly!!
I'm exhausted from all of it. These people unfortunately are addicting and a hard habit to break.
are you unstable yourself?
Evidently, I overlooked every single red flag with my last girlfriend before we started dating. I overlooked the fact that she had over 100 sex partners, that she had multiple failed engagements, that she always blamed the guy for the relationships failing and that she would blame me for "triggering" her PTSD from a previous relationship simply because I would call or text her out of concern for her well-being.
I ignored all of these red flags because she was so nice to me in the beginning and was very attentive to me. And what the hell, we all made mistakes in the past, right?
She would always tell me she thought I would cheat on her and then leave, so when I actually committed to her in a way to show her I was all in, she then ghosted me the one night for no reason and blamed it on me the next day for triggering her PTSD again. It was back and forth for the next few weeks before I finally had enough. There was literally no way to be right with her in anything I did. And after I left, she accused me of abandoning her when she needed me the most.
At the time, I knew very little about BPD, but after she accused me of having it, I did my research and saw that most of the criteria applied to her, not me. I wasnt educated enough on the topic to realize I had been put through the idealization phase and the devaluing phase in the span of a few months. But now I know how to avoid these traps in the future.
And the funny thing is, she is now telling everyone how I manipulated and mentally abused her all that time. It is always the same pattern. These people can't be helped without intensive therapy.
Why write such a huge story about someone you barely dated? 😂
id say thats actually your neglected self respect more than anything. If you had concrete evidence she slept with over 100 people, or she outright told you, as a MAN you have a duty to not be in a relationship with her. Full stop.
@@Jtanman93, I get it, but let's just say my own history of dating women wasn't always saintly. I wasn't trying to be a hypocrite, but yeah, there were big red flags.
dude the same kind of thing happeend with me. she got triggered once and ghosted me for entire day
even talked with other guys but did no contact with me , lateon she blamed me for triggering her ptsd
@@reborn-q5m, did she ever try to come back? Mine did and we've actually been great for the past six weeks without any sort of arguments.
Her "best friend" was someone whom she had never met in person. She went to him online when she needed support--- She actually said this person was a better friend to her than I was, who was loving and caring to her 5,6,7 year old daughter, who saw her through standing up to her abuser, in a custody battle... Mind blowing stuff.
This! What IS this behavior? I’ve been triangulated with a ‘is nothing, do nothing provides nothing’, all while I was giving all I was and all I had. Unbelievable….
@@melodysanquist4834Great question. I don't know. Part of the trauma is their emotions towards you not really having a basis in reality.
I cut off a narcissistic and toxic ex friend that used to say she hates drama. She always poked little jabs at me for no reasons. When I finally blocked her she went to one of my friends and talked trash about me to my friend. She was also always a victim, always something wrong with her, but yet lived a privileged life.
Sounds like Harry and Meg
Another excellent summeration. In the very early days, my ex male bpd would announce several times that 'I don't bring problems, I bring solutions' . Jesus, if that isn't back to front thinking I don't know what is!!
Why the need for all of you to say “my ex BPD” like you own them? So narcissistic 😂
If they call themselves "a baddie" or says something like "if you don't tolerate me at my worse, you don't deserve me at my best", call themselves "a price", high body count, child from different father/mothers..
Bragging & talking about themselves constantly
My borderline stbxw talked about her job for around two hours every night. And of course how terrible they were or how they screwed her or made her life hell. I don't even think after 17 years she truly knew what I actually did at work.
How good they are at their job and how important they are. How they hate drama, talking bad about others, empty pipe dreams about careers.
@@DeMarsCoaching The last 3 months of our marriage, we bought a house and she changed jobs. Bought our "forever home". The new job I noticed very quickly were mostly single people. Hawks. And in this video, the first 3 sounded more like me than her. The rest were solidly her. Never saw cutting or self harm. She did things to make me not trust her then turned it against me. Like going out of town, partying and turning her phone off. Cutting communication. My lack of trust in the end made me feel like the crazy one. I doubted myself at times. But I found out later it had been the plan for around a year and a half. A game. She won. No doubt. Still winning. The more I learn the more it terrifies me. That maybe I never knew her at all.
@@RonDrake-g6x I’d rather be happy than win at petty games…let her win, in the end she lost you💕
@@Sally-ih6ls Found out while she has been emotionally torturing me the past year, she's also been having an affair. Not the first time she's cheated. But this time it was different. She'd tell me she was going to this hotel for a meeting. Next to his office. She was there many times. She would grin at me and tell me she has never cheated and would never cheat. That was earlier this year. The grin made me feel, I don't know, icky? Not one Christmas present to any of us this past Christmas. Kids even questioned that one. I'm just a simple guy. Try to do the right thing. Stand by my family. I hate being so naive. Blinders on purpose. Went for a long walk this morning. I came to the conclusion that I can't change anything. I can't change what could never be changed. I can't process lies correctly. If at all. And that I don't have to live it every day now. Trauma bond still exists. I feel it. We have kids and I'm terrified that I will never totally be able to break free. She will always be there to torment me in some capacity. Thank you for your kind words. I can use reassurance.
Its very easy to identify them, they will tell you because they are honest.
Yes definitely stay away from someone who will abuse you or hurt you. Not everyone does but think twice or thrice when encountering anyone who waves even one obvious red flag. Get to know them. Don't be a victim.
The passive aggressive behavior is a big one for me. And insta relationship, when you’ve only known eachother for a month or two and all the sudden you’re in a full blown relationship and you completely skipped the getting to know each other phase, and they want you to stop being friends with people you’ve known for years and years simply because they are a different gender. Accusing you of doing things you aren’t doing. Ugh, there’s so many deal breakers when I sit down and really think about it.
Excellent presentation!
I love to hate drama.
Lol
Random note - your voice is great. You've got that sinatra/martin/bublé tonality. I bet you can sing really well! Aside from that lol, I very recently (only days ago) went no contact with my angry, aggressive, toxic alcoholic ex (suspected BPD but never will go get help or a diagnosis) and I've been feeling much relief watching your videos. I can literally tick every box when it comes to how he behaved. Impossible to coparent with him but I'm trying to do my best with our 2 kids. Thanks for your content and all the info.
David. I just watched a video on the long game of gaslighting. Tim Fletcher. It blew me away. I mean word for word. I think it's a big reason I am where I am right now. I didn't know it built up. Over a long period of time and the immensely damaging effects of it. Not just words. It broke me down. I still question myself because of it. Could you do a new in depth video explaining the long game of gaslighting? You explain things so well. We would really benefit from this. Thank you for everything you do and all of us that you help.
Looking back on it, I began to adopt her traits... Not completely... but, to a degree. It taught me how being with a narcissist can cause narcissism.
Thank you so much for making this video. Very helpful.
The constant attention seeking is my biggest red flag... It's non-stop..... 😮
every 5 minutes
Urgh. Thankyou for sharing, I WAS considering myself in recovery for the super harmful things, but there's definitely some majour patterns that still come up.
Scared away a guy I went on one date with 😐
Just going to keep doing the work 😅
You've got this 💯 I'm healing, too. ❤
Thank you David! You are really cooking! Mel 😊
My biggest red flag is I met a gal at the ski group lodge who introduced herself to me and we talked and went down to the lake, I shared some of my ideas about where I wanted to move to and she mentioned that she lives in Reno and I would be welcomed to come for a weekend at her place and she would show me around. We went to Virginia City for the day and that’s one of my favorite places. That night while we were kicking back watching a movie she brought up when her and this other man who was showing her around the lodge just happened to open the door to the room I was in , I was a bit surprised but it was ok because I was just looking at my email. She said something that night while we were just kicking back about that situation and said they didn’t mean to walk in just in on me in case I was playing with myself and the only response I could think of saying was well I would have locked the door if that was happening. I didn’t know what else to say, I wouldn’t have said something like that to someone I didn’t know. I reflected on it later and her comment made me feel uncomfortable. I’m still considering moving to Reno and I have no problem with being by myself. I’m an adult and I’m actually excited about exploring and moving forward with my plans. Does anyone reading this understand why her comment made me feel weird? If you don’t know someone why would you say something like that. I’ve decided to keep any association with this person casual going forward because I’m sure we will all ski together at some point.
Those are your boundaries. Your comfort zone and she stepped way out of it. You dont have to question why so much and don't let others do it. What she said is inappropriate and socially awkward.
@@DeMarsCoachingthank you for responding, I understand why I second guess myself. I’m here at the lodge for a planned event, that same individual is here with a guy friend and I made a comment about boundaries which was in the way of saying when someone crosses my boundaries I don’t give second chances I noticed that she and the guy coped a bad attitude towards what I said. I was very firm about my comment but didn’t think that their response to it seemed right so I’m keeping to myself while I’m here because I’m feeling like this person is into the gossip mode. If someone gets defensive that tells me something’s up. She’s not coming across as friendly anymore. My gut feelings are telling me something is off. I’m not including myself in the activity for this weekend because I got hurt from a kayaking accident two weeks ago and I’m feeling things out so I’m refraining from doing anything further to aggravate the area. I’m staying neutral so as to not cause problems however something doesn’t feel right as far as the reaction I’m getting from other people here. I think it’s time to trust myself when it comes to situations like this and I’m telling you about it to see what you make of it. I’ve had such so much disrespect towards me my whole life that I’m done and I don’t want to be grumpy cat for the rest of my life but this has to stop. There’s no logical reason why I have to go through the rest of my life being made to be someone else’s personal punching bag, I don’t deserve it. I’m trying to be careful about not spilling all the tea about myself when I meet people as a result of my personal experience. When you’re being cautious and careful don’t people still pickup on that and isn’t that an indicator for others to be respectful of the information that you feel you want to share. It’s about 3am right now but I wanted to share this with you and get your feedback.
I certainly find weird that's the first thing she thought about. And the whole interaction was weird in my opinion, it's someone that you could just date casually, but nothing more serious than that.
I’m not the least bit scared, my guts telling me something is going on behind my back. There’s more red flags I’ve picked up on and if someone’s afraid because you’ve made it be known that you have boundaries not to be crossed I know exactly what that means. I was just taken by surprise because this person invited me into her home and now I’m being treated as if I’m the bad guy. Here we go again in bully land.
Rage=run
🤗👍
13:39
I broke up with a woman because she would call 15 times a day at my workplace. I didn't knew much about BPD or other disorders at the time. She was calling me few times a day the next day we started dating. It was never enough. I just thought she was extremely needy and it annoyed me.
Very interesting topic!
Hi Sally
My recent experience of trying to date again. She stormed off in a rage because a work friend was talking to me in the street walking along beside us so she stormed off. I had to chase her down and it was all because she felt like she wasn't wanted and felt like a third wheel despite him and I both trying to talk to her. Had a meltdown in a store because I didn't hold her hand (after maybe 6 weeks of dating and she is 41 years old btw). ALL her exes are Narcs and cue the dramatic stories of all the narcs in her family. Would rant to me about exes despite me saying i don't want to hear about your exes. everything had to be about her and she was hyper critical of everything and everyone. She had a melt down that I didn't see her sat somewhere despite fact she never called me over, could have messaged me to say hey im sat here or could have walked 30feet to sit next to me but nope I was drawn out as the bad guy in that and everything was all my fault as per usual. That is where I ended things as I don't need nor want drama in my life. I think for once I have used my head and spotted the red flags and walked away at an early stage but i need work on myself to understand why i keep attracting these types.
VERY GOOD PRESENTATION-SPOT ON SIR
Biggest red flag for me- pathological jealousy. They MUST have their fp all to themselves- always & forever.
Great video David! Melody from Upper Michigan…
Hello David Paul from Wisconsin. Hopefully you are doing great 👍. Thanks for the video. Alot of what you said 💯,was my x. Almost ready to go back to work
Biggest red flag is to see emotional responses that do not at all correlate with your behavior, or something you did.
For me the biggest red flag is the relationship with the mother. It's really interesting.
The BPD woman I dated was Hyposexual... even after weeks of love-bombing me, she froze up with fear when it came to sex. Probably sexual trauma... but who knows.
bpd from seggsual trauma. so she was probably molested.
Ooohh. Good one. Before I even get into it, my guess is, 1. Oversharing. 😂I bet he says that one. 2. Trauma bonding. When you share gross stories of human maladaptive scenarios, you’re saying IM DISTURBED. Things bug me. And that’s ok to do. Once. 😂but these stories will come up everyday. Everyday you’ll be charged up with stories of WOAAH and levels of projecting that make heads spin and feel uncomfortable. They’ll be painting themselves as a hero, on a story where they were a clear harm in most cases.” Put it this way, if the person tells you the coffee wasn’t made right, with the energy of “My dog died?” 😂that’s borderline. My guess. ❤some people put too much energy into everything. 1. Talk too much. 2. TOO NEEDY 3. TOO MUCH eye contact. 4. EMOTIONAL agreement. If they REQUIRE agreement or else, that’s a cue. If a person cannot ever stretch his/her head around a concept they can’t perceive? 😬🧠💯
"splitting" .... holy smokes ...... brutal to deal with ..... impossible actually
Love your humour 😂😂 even for an American. Now my red flag is someone trying to be everything so charming it' extreme it's perfectionist, the look, ppl are drawn to them
Yeah... And when they cut themselves, it's your fault, always is...If they threaten you with suicide and that they will blame it on you......RUN, don't be me and stay and endure..Run, I beg you
The first red flag is when they say ‘I love you’ to soon
That's right avoid people of extreme, people that are unbalanced to a dangerous degree
Yes his a workaholic always wants to be phoning the office to solve a problem, no hobbies just work, no friends, he always finish a conversation at work with , " no drama" but talks about others at work with his work, who's good who's bad, the boss of the business loves him, and others always love talking to him, it's like he divides and conquers. Says about someone being so angry anther guy at work, I'm sitting there listening thinking. Well little do they know, your angry.
11:56 my GF which fits well here with the false accusation hyper critical and the Tarot fortunte tellers. She is into this BIG TIME. And DARE if they say something negative about me
the BF then wow she believe it like instantly. It is just insane. Also the hyper sensitivity but she can call me and insult me how she wants. LOL
🎯🎯🎯🎯✨
My ex’s parents seemed to have no respect for others’ time. They were always making plans that we’d only find out about right before the event, like same day! And he’d feel guilty if he didn’t show up… like, they gave us no notice! This is every time they made plans. And he was so sensitive to how they might judge him but didn’t seem to care what screaming at me and calling me names and trying to intimidate me might say about him.
I don’t get it. I miss him emotionally but I’m practicing sticking with my boundaries which are: no lying and no dehumanizing anyone because that’s just a form of lying.
My biggest red flag is them having a big past. yuck.
Everyone does loser
My last bf talked about his past women, jobs, successes EVERY day. He did not live in the present.
absolute rigid adherence to the truths of mathematics, especially the identity property. Cray cray!
Wait!!! Haha Medicated bipolars can have a normal life, we 🙃accept when make mistakes and apologize, we can communicate when we have entered a depressive state or hypomania and ask for help, and we feel guilty when hurting someone to the point of having severe insomnia for days. I dated a borderline girl... disguised as bipolar.. they feel no remorse, and can't take responsibility for their actions, they play with your head, never apologize NEVER, and never make mistakes, they set traps and threaten you, and they leave you with no explanation then reach you back weeks later... in my case 4 TIMES I was stupid enough to fall for it the 4 times... because... impulsivity.
❤TEAM BIPOLAR HERE❤!! stay away from BORDERLINES they destroy you no matter what mood stabilizer you are taken they need you to fall and blame you for everything so they are "Perfect".
Key word is "medicated"
@@SurnaturalM Exactly, properly medicated, bipolar is a chronic condition. But medication alone is not enough, it has to be complimented with sleep hygiene, sports, and being surrounded by good friends, NO DRUGS, learned that the hard way. Anyway, if you don't have an excellent routine surrounded by good people, and family support, you can go into remission if you stumble across BAD people, Borderlines, Narcissists, and PSYCHOPATHS. Bipolars have to be very aware of other people, we have weak points that cluster B people can easily exploit to their favor, like impulsivity, insomnia, and low self-esteem when we are in a lows depressed state like S.A.D.
Attention seeking is so weird. I joked with my boyfriend when I said we go walk at the mall so you can get
attention and talk to others.
They have friends with tons of aliases, shady individuals.
Hi. Would like to know what you think, it's a trait I've noticed that goes in cycles, like his mood, there's a overreaction if someone doesn't understand what his told them, or sometimes you just didn't hear it, so you ask him to say it again, I've done that before not heard it, but the reaction is extreme , he says it's disrespectful that no one listens. But I find a lot of this very autistic.
Describing victim covert narcissist; and borderline too.l, in parts.
Claiming to be a princess
I was in a relationship with a female very recently, she told me from the start she had BPD/EUPD, like a fool I thought I could save her. It was a rollercoaster, ups and down, there were times it was ‘normal’ but those times were short and always followed with a rapid decline. It would flip from I love you to I hate you, at first she told me she hated me right out the blue, she’d been out with friends rang drunk and told me she hated me. The next day she said sorry and that it was the alcohol, I forgave her and the next time she drank, the same words would come out, it got to a point where it was so frequent I became anxious when she would drink. Every time she would apologise the next day and say she ‘isn’t like that’ and blamed the alcohol. I began to realise that these flashes were who she is and the person I saw her as In the beginning, I had created in my mind. My boundaries would get further and further taken away because I was forgiving behaviour that was a red flag. After 6 months is he punched me in the face, drink again, like a fool I bought the apology in the hope that one day it would go to like it was for a very short period when we first met. David’s videos helped me realise what for some reason I could see, I was in an abusive relationship and I was trauma bonded. I accepted things I should never have accepted in the hope of a better tomorrow, every time I raised the subject of her treatment towards me all I would get back is ‘you made me’ or ‘let’s not talk about it, it’s in the past now’ or she would just flat out deny and blame shift. I truly hope anyone who is in a similar situation or is with a person with BPD finds it in themselves to walk away. It’s been hard since we broke up I miss the illusion of I’m honest and I create thoughts of her being different with someone else but when I feel like that I listen to David’s videos, some nights I play them lying in bed to retrain my brain and break the trauma bond. David if you ever see this comment, thank you. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your knowledge and for your guidance, I wish you and everyone else effected by this all the happiness in the world
David I gotta ask, have you ever come across or heard of women with bpd that never cry? I dated one that never told me she has bpd but in the beginning told me she is broken and I need to run away and save myself. She has 100% of all bpd signs with a few overlaps of npd. Never once in 7 years that I was with her did she ever cry or come close to it. She says she can’t do it and even feels awkward sometimes if women at work crying in front of her. I always thought this was highly unusual/disturbing.
Thank you 🙏
Thank you!
I think having 2+ kids - all from different people, and all claimed to have happened from "unintended pregnancies"
Basically don't go out with anyone with problems
Red Flag: I live with my ex-boyfriend and he's my best friend. I am not good a spending money, so he manages all my money for me.
Thank you for what your doing..There is a Need for people to know and educate themselves on these broken toxic people.❤❤❤
Or needle marks!
I have some of these traits so i guess my biggest red flag is being alive
Talks about EX every day. Definitely not healed, even 33 yrs later. His mom was toxic as f.... Woah. His mom, dad, sister, son made a toxic family. I had to run. Feeling so peaceful now.
The speaking of the ex drives you crazy!!
Are you saying this couldn't be discovered after 12-15 yrs? It would be full on from the get go?
Or can you slowly see a pattern and then with dissatisfaction it really comes forward?
Was she BPD or Covert NPD or both ? She said she had CPTSD ?
The only people offended by any of this are the undiagnosed who continue to spiral down the drain in the misery of their own lives and refuse to get help, while destroying every relationship they get involved with. If there was a way, I could get my ex to watch all of your videos and somehow understand, it might make the time that I wasted with her worth it. All I can do is sit back and watch the dumpster fire.
Biggest red flag is when they resort to bringing up God and their relationship with God to try and one-up you or avoid facts and reality.
@@InvisibleJesus1919 Or that they don't believe in an Interventionist God. And you MUST think their way.
I was in a relationship with a women that I loved… she had eubpd and ptsd.. etc and she ended up cheating on me and played the manipulation card.. this video is helpful thanx
First Red flag: too much bad talking about what they call My buddy
👍🏼
🦋🦋🦋
Heeey Im into art, Im a psychology major & love nutrition lol. I like martial arts too
from south africa
Hi David
if you haven't yet done so in the past can you please make a video on why C-Ptsd makes you feel overstimulated when going to the mall.
and people try to treat you based on logic, your parents wont do something like that, they give you everything you need. your mom wont lie to me because she acts so nice. You should stop acting out and just believe you have anxiety. you say you have an ear infection but there is nothing wrong with your ears.
you cant apply logic to people who don't act logically.
I have to stop watching you. I'm trying the best I can to control BPD and trying my best not to burden people and to be as normal as possible.
I finally found a video where you claim to not hate Boarderline people. However, you don't quite come across this way and reading the comments. Wow, a lot of hate seems to come through. But I'm Boarderline, so what do I know.
Such an accurate description of my ex BPD partner... the Tarot, the fixation on cosmetics and skin care... and of course, how to forget the splitting 😂🥲