Betrayal, explotation, deceit, lies, manipulation, stealing (to name but a few) are the well used tools she used on me. I'm still recovering. Best wishes and thanks from London
I was with a girl with BPD for 2 years and it had ups and downs but then one day, she vanished. Ghosted me completely. Just disappeared from my life. All the love meant nothing, all the good times meant nothing. I wish nothing but the worst for her.
Thank you for pointing out that betrayal is so much more than just cheating. I have been dealing with feelings of betrayal from my husband who I believe doesn't cheat. But, he doesn't keep his agreements, he is highly manipulative, he claims to not remember talks and things that I consider important, my son says he has stolen from him, mocking me, the horrible things he says about me, and on and on. Betrayal is so much more than cheating. Thank you. It helps to be validated in this feeling. Thanks for your channel. Using your painful past to help others is awesome. Blessings to you.
I cried watching this you make me feel understood. No one gives a shit about the person who was destroyed by a BPD ex. I’m not angry but they’ve done all the bad things you mentioned
I hope you guys are doing well now, a bit better and healing... I'm going through that and crying out of nothing as well...Well not nothing, but yeah... Discarded and she's next to another branch after an year of..."relationship..."
A couple months ago me and my ex with bpd tried working it out she aplogized for her behavior and didn't want to hurt me i fell for the hoover it seemed to be going good for a month then bam she got distant because of work stress which is reasonable we are all human then 3 weeks go by we haven't seen eachother then she says she is so overwhelmed with work that she doesn't have time for a relationship that she's sorry for hurting me so many times. I later found out through her family that she got into a relationship with her boss. Leads me to believe that during those couple weeks she was stressed and "busy" that she discarded me split and needed an excuse so that way she didn't feel bad. I fell for so many hoovers in the past from her hoping each aplogy there was change nope they easily deceive people and play on our compassion. Thank you for all you do David i watch this channel religiously I'm learning so much
Hi, Andrew! Thank you for commenting! Someone will read this and recognize some of the situations you gave and realize the abusive ness in their own relationships! Nice to see you here!😎❤️
@@nicky8210 I guess if the truth and having a brain is now seen as "rude" then I agree. I'd rather be "rude" than dumb though. 2nd graders can put together better grammar and sentences than OPs comment. It's not my fault you can't handle the truth. If people had any humility, they'd appreciate the constructive criticism and try to fix the issue but ego is just as big of a problem as stupidity. It's time to stop coddling people's feelings and letting them be ignorant.
@@DontbeanNPC And you indeed, seem to know much about the ego. It's probably a shock for you to learn that not everybody had the privilege of an education such as yours and your privilege here, reads to those of us who also had a great education, as arrogance.
Yeah the 3 yr virgin thing happened to me. Turns out she wasn't one. Dressed modestly but was very promiscuous. Lived a double life. It was the grossest human being I have ever encountered in my life. Had a history of betrayals and kept momentos of them all. Truly sick shit.
Similar, mine told me she had a small body count, turned out it definitely wasn't small. When I found out the truth I was like "why tf would you lie about that?, I wouldn't have left you anyways" then she tried to reverse me, said that she told me the truth smh... Manipulation mind games, gaslighting, tried to make me think I was crazy.
Listening to this at dawn ( Ireland). Thank you for this timely reminder of just how septic people can be. It is mind-blowing how they all work to a script, a tried and tested manipulation script.
I have been in shock end of a 4 year . He has told my work colleagues that I have had S’ with people I haven’t. He rang my work told them I abuse his children. He has told people I have had double figure abortions. He is saying that I have tried it on with my daughter’s boyfriend and it goes on. This was after I found out he was cheating me. I’m 12 week no contact and feeling blessed to have him out of my life - which no doubt I would be punished for !
Spot on...This gives me so much validation!!! When I try to explain what happened in my friendship to the Narc, people tell me I'm "crazy" and that I should have known. Thank you for this video!!
Great video David. The hurt from all the betrayal was the hardest part for me. There are still many days where I struggle with it. Good news is that the pain and obsessive thinking about it has decreased slowly with time. I hope one day I can be healed enough that the thought of it doesn’t stir up so much hurt and negative emotions.
20 years living in the same home, never had an interaction with the police. The past year, I've met everyone one of them due to his rages. He's calm when they come. Meanwhile he's taken my keys, blocked me from moving away from him in the house, broke windows, sprayed bug killer in my face and he says I'm the crazy one
Terrible stories everyone. I just found out that my cluster b/psychopath (or whatever she is) ex has been telling our daughter's school teachers that she broke up with me because I was abusive, and that I started stalking her so she had to go away with another man to make sure I left her alone. And you guessed right, all of this happened the other way around, except cheating with a close friend, which she did but I didn't. They really do these things, it is unthinkable for a normal person. Incredible moral bankruptcy.
Good evening, David! Really great video! During my healing process, I’ve had to give myself grace for all the mistakes I made and know I won’t make them again. 😎❤️
I am forced to coparent with my ex wife, who I suspect has BPD. We divorced over 2 years ago, she cant forgive me that I decided to "leave the family". Drags me back to court about children, complains to child protective services, keeps stalking me by trespassing on my property "To check if children are safe at my house". Insists that all children's birthdays and other celebration have to be celebrated together. She has low enough income, that all courts are free of charge for her, and state sponsored lawyer. So it costs her 0 euro to bring me back to court, and I have to pay her court expenses. Consider yourself lucky if someone who has a BPD finds new love and leaves you alone. If you feel sorry for something, then for your children or for the next partner, who will be abused the same way as you where. If your ex finds next intimate partner, is the biggest chance that they will leave you alone. Seek therapy if you think that it is a good idea to get back together.
Bro. I'm co parenting now. I just wanna surrender my rights tbh. She is a mess. You can't even co parent with them. And everyone believes everything that comes out of their mouth. 😂😂😂...
I have a daughter who betrayed me...repeatedly. The culmination was when she claimed her partner saw me pinch her baby's nose, and she flew into a rage when I denied it. Called me a liar. Burst into tears. Begged me to admit it. I refused because, of course, I hadn't done it and I was concerned at how far this was going - that her reaction was over the top. Later turned out that what she meant was that she thought I had tried to suffocate her child. Good thing I stuck to my guns and never gave in for the sake of peace.
Perfect video.every example u gave were right on point and unfortunately way too familiar.so many of your videos are coincidentally perfectly in sync with my current situations and they help so,so much.thank you for all u do its much appreciated !,..thank you. ☝🏼💪👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼🙏🙏🙏
I'm very tired after 5 years. Numb, not myself. Was told I was a user for 5 years 2 weeks ago during his split, then offers to help me do something. I said hell no, I never want to be accused of using anyone. He says, I live in the past. This was 2 weeks ago, I'm still trying to get my financials back in order after this. I was set financially fine before him. Now I have 2 mortgages and am struggling all due to manipulation. I don't trust my own gut anymore
He would start screaming at me, telling me “everyone thinks _____ this about you” and just say mean things intended only to hurt me, and a couple times I felt threatened and called the cops just to have them help calm him down. So he tells on me to his parents and tthey become worried about his relationship with me because they think I’m crazy and just trying to get him into trouble. I stressed to the police that I didn’t believe he was dangerous but that he just couldn’t calm down on his own and it was getting scary for me. I’d be sitting there saying nothing while he’d tear me down verbally, pacing around me, putting his face in my face to intimidate me. Yeah, I became really insecure in this relationship and once did try talking to another guy just to get his perspective, like maybe I was misunderstanding something about men, and he has never stopped accusing me of cheating. I couldn’t talk to him without him gettin mad! So i said sorry and I never spoke to anyone again, but still got accused. It was so insulting to accuse me of being unfaithful because I’m doing everything in my power to show I care and meet his needs and it’s just never enough at the end of the day. Maybe today it was good enough but suddenly tomorrow it won’t be.
Thank you for having the courage to discuss a very sensitive subject. I'm recovering from PTSD and betrayal is devastating,; and yet , our spirits and will to continue into a better more beautiful life is powerful. We must strive to recover and heal. Yes, and be well🙂
I experienced this but I realized it wasn't actually all a lie or they were conspiring to conciously and deliberately harm me and that gave me peace. The root of the problem is that they have Paradoxical Thinking. There's a part of them that actually does feel good about you, but they also have this other part of their identity that hates you or negative attachment style. They are always in conflict with these parts of themselves from the very beginning because they cannot accept they are loved and being vulnerable... but then bad side of them is what we end up seeing last and naturally interpret it as betrayal and so much confusion about it at all. It was never about you and definitely not personal.
What’s important is for me to learn to trust myself and I’m still not there yet. Some days are better than others and I never know when a flashback is going to hit, hopefully doesn’t last too long so I can get going.
Same thing happened to me but I never lived with him and he didn't live with me. I put cameras up and a gate in my driveway because he kept destroying my pro perty, my car, my home, my dogs ashes, busted 2 sliding glass doors, a living room window, my back door window, the 5 foot fence around my property, my yard, called my job and harassed my supervisor, stold my car keys, (which he lied about but I found them in his car about 6 months later) had to get pop a lock to cut me another one for $160, he then came to my job, got into my car with the key he stold and took over $300 that night. Came and busted my car windshield, tore off my side mirror, cut the valve stems from a tire. I smoke marijuana, he's stold that from me many times, tried running me off the road, stold my phone. That's just some of the things and I haven't even mentioned the cruel things he's said to me.
.... I'm not a mental health professional by any means, but Id like to thank those of you who've commented here, I'm learning a great deal from Dave, and also from comparing experiences.. it's the very first time I actually applied that tired old saying, 'I'm not alone' in this. thanks again everyone.
My BPD ex literally moved in down the street with her new guy a month and a half after the last time we had sex. The last words she said to me was " You are going to be mad soon" . I never reached out to her after that day. She moved in the beginning of July 2024. It was pretty shit at first but I blocked her and began the healing process. I had a talk in October with David on the phone and boy was that the true turning point for me. I can honestly say I don't even care about it anymore. I feel empowered and bullet proof. My life is so calm and mellow I love it. I have gotten myself back because I was just so broken when I met her and got lost more and more with her as time went on. I started dating a really amazing woman about a month and a half ago She is awesome.Calm mellow chill easy going and no sign of mental illness. Before Christmas I was driving her car and parked out front of my house and got out of the drivers seat. My BPD ex drove by and was at the stop sign. She sat there for about 10 seconds and slowly drove off looking at us. I bet she thought I was going to chase her upon the discard and didn't. What a blow to the ego that must have been. I bet the thought when she moved in with this guy that it would break me for the rest of my life and control me. The best part to me about it is well hey, now she gets to watch me move on with my life, happily. The major difference between us is that she is the same broken human being and most likely in a misrable relationship and I did the work to heal myself and become a better version of myself. Thank You David for your help. You are a beautiful human being!
Hard to believe people think like that. When I broke up with my personality disorder, he wanted to be a friend. I said no because if I married I do not want anyone to destroy my marriage. Spirit warfare showed me his personality
Amazing how close to home this hits for me. I thought I was healing, but now looking at my inability to trust and my aversion to commitment (never had this issue in my life), I'm pretty sure there's still a long way to go. People are so keen to adapt to situations in their lives. When something so significantly unhealthy and traumatizing happens to us, it can easily affect us in ways that make life even more challenging for us -- and long after the relationship is completely over. How do we go back to seeing others as inherently good after we've been betrayed by maybe the people we loved, supported, and trusted the most? It's seemingly impossible.
finnaly i broke up with her and delete her from all social media She was alwayes try to start a fight without reasonbe couse and avoid communication after i leave her she will apology in social media story.. and call me narcissist 😂 the relationship is such a wild roller coaster things getting better and then you wake up tomorrow and you're back to square one 😪 this is emotionally exahusting and so sad i advice anyone in realtion with BPD To run and never look back
Hey if someone wants to cheat on me then so be it. Yes. It hurts Luke hell for awhile , but guess what....I'm gonna get over it because I am stronger than they are. It's gonna be their loss in the end, not mine. Bye bye
My wife serial cheated right from the start of our relationship. I found out 10 years later, got betrayal trauma and she flew overseas the next morning. Drip fed me information over the next 6 weeks and returned home to make a weak effort of trying to make it right and left after I forgave her by leaving me a note while I was out. I did the textbook cheat after 6 years of neglect. She seemed to take it well but obviously she didn't. I should go see a doctor...
About a year ago my BPD ex girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me and instead of telling me, she said she needed space. That was the last and only thing she ever said to me. One week later she moved to another state to move in with the guy she cheated with. She streams on Kick. The way I found out she moved was she started doing kick streams with him one month later where they both talked badly about me. We never had any fights during our relationship just minor disagreements that we talked about and solved amicably. She got a job at a place we had always talked about being a dream place for us to work together at and now her and her cheating partner just got a dog together.
Put me in the same camp. We had disagreements that ended with her stonewalling which made me resentful because of it wasn't what she wanted, she shut down. Out of nowhere, she left me for another man. No emotions, blamed me for everything, told her friend she didn't feel safe around me when I never hinted at a threat of violence. Many people said it wouldn't last with that married man...but he's now getting a divorce after 20+years. All I know is, he's the next one to be discarded. May take a couple of years...but even her adult son said she just wakes up one day and doesn't want to be with the guy anymore.
@@Lkingfwdnevabkwds, I'll guarantee you the time she spends with this guy will be full of dysfunction and cheating. Be happy that you didn't have to spend that much time with her. These people never end up happy and they always play the victim.
@@pythonpatrol1110 victim 100% of the time. Her "pain" was always worse than mine. It's been a yr since the divorce. Still have bad days but they are farther and fewer in between. I have no doubt she will leave the current guy. It's just gonna take a few years. He has or had a lot of money. And she browses Amazon all day everyday
I got an example for ya: Traveling from the US to Mexico for 14 years to be with the most important person in my life. I always had to travel via the Laredo land bridge, the most dangerous route because I couldn't fly there. Then come to find out, after all those years- "my love" comes to the United States and to My City and doesn't tell me. Their obviously with someone who is financing this extended vacation.
The best thing about her smearing me to everyone, is that it's stopping her from hoovering although she wants to. I actually feel for her new guy as he's decent and already feeling her trail of destruction in only 4 months.
I experienced this. Hoovered me 7 months after breaking up, although there had been mini hoovers when I would go round for sex. I stupidly got back involved not realising she had a been with someone else for 6 months whilst sleeping with me 🤯. She ended it with him to try again with me but I could see something was holding her back and she just couldn’t bring herself to tell her family that we were going to try again, especially her mum. I knew deep down it was due to the smear. She kept getting tearful saying “the whole world is going to be against us”. She then did a 180 and went back to the new guy and said I blackmailed her into ending it with him. Craziest couple of years of my life.
yes 4 months sounds what i experienced. the signs are there from the beginning, but after 2 months of idealization the extreme testing started. i wonder how people could have years of relationships like that when their BPD partner goes completely crazy after a few months, especially if they triangulate or just trying to make you jealous... who stays with a person like that
Sounds a lot like all the people I met in Korea. If you wonder why the ones that escape are so traumatized, this is an important ingredient. There’s way more but it’s everywhere there. I experienced it in every relationship there and heard about it from every other foreigner I encountered. It is really sad knowing that all the children and adults you have cared for and tried to heal are stuck in this and will perpetrate it upon the next generation.
She cheated and left me for the guy. Accused me of cheating the whole relationship. Begged me back for a year straight. She went on dates with dudes she told me were just friends. Shit talked me online constantly. Looking back, Im pretty sure she has bipolar as well.
I'm trying to get away from a bpd person who I was intimate with and he did so many messed up things to me he's going to wish he'd never met me when I get done with him
I wonder how it happens that they often turn out as borderline after many years of marriage? Why does it takes years sometimes until everythings turn into a mess. Or do we on the other side swallow things (red flags) for too long, trying to keep them happy so long? ---Appreciate all your videos, they are very helpful for healing, I am from Germany
Thank god I ended it after four months 😐 because some of the stuff he mentioned in the video I think she did to her ex and would've done the same if not similar to me
Funny thing... She did it to me while friends...:)...And then still hopped into a rel with her for an year to get discared 9000, then finally discared and well... all the arsenal used against me...
There are many men and women who have friendships with people of the opposite sex. We should not demonize that, if you are a mature adult and grew up in a small town or are a musician or whatever, you can have friendships with many people and it be completely platonic and respectful. If you have known someone for many years and they truly are just a friend we should all recognize that is not wrong snd that it is very possible. I would say observe the persons behavior and if they have friends that are the opposite sex but don’t hang out with them alone and their interactions are minimal there is nothing wrong with that. It’s introducing the “New friend” of the opposite sex that I would be Leary about and something I would never do. I have a friend from high school I’ve known for 40 years, he is family at this point. I will never stop being friends with him, and a few friends that are several decades older than me that could be my grandpa that I’ve known for over ten years. We have to be careful how we word the “just friends” subject and the connotation of it because not every friendship of the opposite sex is shady and disrespectful.
And all of this affects/ manifests physically with hairloss body ackes, strong persitant headackes and constant rumination. Men use sex in the same way...you are diatant because of all their lying and they still go have sex somewhere else...no insight no looking at themselves in the mirror to see how they cause this to theselves. It's almost as ifntheir goal always is to make things worst...never better. They can never BE BETTER it's always more damage.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Betrayal, explotation, deceit, lies, manipulation, stealing (to name but a few) are the well used tools she used on me.
I'm still recovering.
Best wishes and thanks from London
AWALT
There is absolutely no reason for anyone to do this to another human being. Ever.
I was with a girl with BPD for 2 years and it had ups and downs but then one day, she vanished. Ghosted me completely. Just disappeared from my life. All the love meant nothing, all the good times meant nothing. I wish nothing but the worst for her.
Be grateful you found out and you dodged a bullet I am , we are just supply as David says really glad he’s on here sharing this information
Thank you for pointing out that betrayal is so much more than just cheating. I have been dealing with feelings of betrayal from my husband who I believe doesn't cheat. But, he doesn't keep his agreements, he is highly manipulative, he claims to not remember talks and things that I consider important, my son says he has stolen from him, mocking me, the horrible things he says about me, and on and on. Betrayal is so much more than cheating.
Thank you.
It helps to be validated in this feeling.
Thanks for your channel. Using your painful past to help others is awesome.
Blessings to you.
I'm so sorry for all the betrayal and I wish you full recovery and helaing trusting again. Thank you.
I cried watching this you make me feel understood. No one gives a shit about the person who was destroyed by a BPD ex. I’m not angry but they’ve done all the bad things you mentioned
@@iamhamou9897 I'm crying with you man. We are human too.
Ya it hurts bad
I feel you, had the same thing happened to me.
I hope you guys are doing well now, a bit better and healing... I'm going through that and crying out of nothing as well...Well not nothing, but yeah... Discarded and she's next to another branch after an year of..."relationship..."
A couple months ago me and my ex with bpd tried working it out she aplogized for her behavior and didn't want to hurt me i fell for the hoover it seemed to be going good for a month then bam she got distant because of work stress which is reasonable we are all human then 3 weeks go by we haven't seen eachother then she says she is so overwhelmed with work that she doesn't have time for a relationship that she's sorry for hurting me so many times. I later found out through her family that she got into a relationship with her boss. Leads me to believe that during those couple weeks she was stressed and "busy" that she discarded me split and needed an excuse so that way she didn't feel bad. I fell for so many hoovers in the past from her hoping each aplogy there was change nope they easily deceive people and play on our compassion. Thank you for all you do David i watch this channel religiously I'm learning so much
You can start by learning how to use punctuation first. Reading that huge run-on sentence gave me an aneurysm.
Hi, Andrew! Thank you for commenting! Someone will read this and recognize some of the situations you gave and realize the abusive ness in their own relationships! Nice to see you here!😎❤️
@@DontbeanNPC err, Rude fella
@@nicky8210 I guess if the truth and having a brain is now seen as "rude" then I agree. I'd rather be "rude" than dumb though. 2nd graders can put together better grammar and sentences than OPs comment. It's not my fault you can't handle the truth. If people had any humility, they'd appreciate the constructive criticism and try to fix the issue but ego is just as big of a problem as stupidity. It's time to stop coddling people's feelings and letting them be ignorant.
@@DontbeanNPC And you indeed, seem to know much about the ego. It's probably a shock for you to learn that not everybody had the privilege of an education such as yours and your privilege here, reads to those of us who also had a great education, as arrogance.
Yeah the 3 yr virgin thing happened to me. Turns out she wasn't one. Dressed modestly but was very promiscuous. Lived a double life. It was the grossest human being I have ever encountered in my life. Had a history of betrayals and kept momentos of them all. Truly sick shit.
Damn😊
Similar, mine told me she had a small body count, turned out it definitely wasn't small. When I found out the truth I was like "why tf would you lie about that?, I wouldn't have left you anyways" then she tried to reverse me, said that she told me the truth smh... Manipulation mind games, gaslighting, tried to make me think I was crazy.
... Comedian Bill Burr has some great bits on this subject.. I cried, till' I laughed it out of my system!
@@Nocturnallybornstealers... That's metalheads got to stick together bro, I like your style!
What are some examples of the momentos?
Listening to this at dawn ( Ireland). Thank you for this timely reminder of just how septic people can be. It is mind-blowing how they all work to a script, a tried and tested manipulation script.
This whole video is a home run. You rang a lot of bells in this one, David. Great, powerful video!
I have been in shock end of a 4 year . He has told my work colleagues that I have had S’ with people I haven’t. He rang my work told them I abuse his children. He has told people I have had double figure abortions. He is saying that I have tried it on with my daughter’s boyfriend and it goes on. This was after I found out he was cheating me. I’m 12 week no contact and feeling blessed to have him out of my life - which no doubt I would be punished for !
Spot on...This gives me so much validation!!! When I try to explain what happened in my friendship to the Narc, people tell me I'm "crazy" and that I should have known. Thank you for this video!!
Great video David. The hurt from all the betrayal was the hardest part for me. There are still many days where I struggle with it.
Good news is that the pain and obsessive thinking about it has decreased slowly with time. I hope one day I can be healed enough that the thought of it doesn’t stir up so much hurt and negative emotions.
With you William on the betrayal. Rips a hole in your soul
20 years living in the same home, never had an interaction with the police. The past year, I've met everyone one of them due to his rages. He's calm when they come. Meanwhile he's taken my keys, blocked me from moving away from him in the house, broke windows, sprayed bug killer in my face and he says I'm the crazy one
You'll have to get your ducks in a row. RO needed.
Terrible stories everyone. I just found out that my cluster b/psychopath (or whatever she is) ex has been telling our daughter's school teachers that she broke up with me because I was abusive, and that I started stalking her so she had to go away with another man to make sure I left her alone. And you guessed right, all of this happened the other way around, except cheating with a close friend, which she did but I didn't. They really do these things, it is unthinkable for a normal person. Incredible moral bankruptcy.
Good evening, David! Really great video! During my healing process, I’ve had to give myself grace for all the mistakes I made and know I won’t make them again. 😎❤️
I am forced to coparent with my ex wife, who I suspect has BPD. We divorced over 2 years ago, she cant forgive me that I decided to "leave the family". Drags me back to court about children, complains to child protective services, keeps stalking me by trespassing on my property "To check if children are safe at my house". Insists that all children's birthdays and other celebration have to be celebrated together. She has low enough income, that all courts are free of charge for her, and state sponsored lawyer. So it costs her 0 euro to bring me back to court, and I have to pay her court expenses.
Consider yourself lucky if someone who has a BPD finds new love and leaves you alone. If you feel sorry for something, then for your children or for the next partner, who will be abused the same way as you where.
If your ex finds next intimate partner, is the biggest chance that they will leave you alone. Seek therapy if you think that it is a good idea to get back together.
Bro. I'm co parenting now. I just wanna surrender my rights tbh. She is a mess. You can't even co parent with them. And everyone believes everything that comes out of their mouth. 😂😂😂...
I have a daughter who betrayed me...repeatedly. The culmination was when she claimed her partner saw me pinch her baby's nose, and she flew into a rage when I denied it. Called me a liar. Burst into tears. Begged me to admit it. I refused because, of course, I hadn't done it and I was concerned at how far this was going - that her reaction was over the top. Later turned out that what she meant was that she thought I had tried to suffocate her child. Good thing I stuck to my guns and never gave in for the sake of peace.
Perfect video.every example u gave were right on point and unfortunately way too familiar.so many of your videos are coincidentally perfectly in sync with my current situations and they help so,so much.thank you for all u do its much appreciated !,..thank you. ☝🏼💪👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼🙏🙏🙏
I'm very tired after 5 years. Numb, not myself. Was told I was a user for 5 years 2 weeks ago during his split, then offers to help me do something. I said hell no, I never want to be accused of using anyone. He says, I live in the past. This was 2 weeks ago, I'm still trying to get my financials back in order after this. I was set financially fine before him. Now I have 2 mortgages and am struggling all due to manipulation. I don't trust my own gut anymore
Thank you for this video. Every word is raw and very needed. All the best to you.
He would start screaming at me, telling me “everyone thinks _____ this about you” and just say mean things intended only to hurt me, and a couple times I felt threatened and called the cops just to have them help calm him down. So he tells on me to his parents and tthey become worried about his relationship with me because they think I’m crazy and just trying to get him into trouble. I stressed to the police that I didn’t believe he was dangerous but that he just couldn’t calm down on his own and it was getting scary for me. I’d be sitting there saying nothing while he’d tear me down verbally, pacing around me, putting his face in my face to intimidate me.
Yeah, I became really insecure in this relationship and once did try talking to another guy just to get his perspective, like maybe I was misunderstanding something about men, and he has never stopped accusing me of cheating. I couldn’t talk to him without him gettin mad! So i said sorry and I never spoke to anyone again, but still got accused. It was so insulting to accuse me of being unfaithful because I’m doing everything in my power to show I care and meet his needs and it’s just never enough at the end of the day. Maybe today it was good enough but suddenly tomorrow it won’t be.
If he/she is telling you other people’s secrets, he/she is blabbing yours, too. Never confide in this in this person.
Thank you for having the courage to discuss a very sensitive subject. I'm recovering from PTSD and betrayal is devastating,; and yet , our spirits and will to continue into a better more beautiful life is powerful. We must strive to recover and heal. Yes, and be well🙂
I experienced this but I realized it wasn't actually all a lie or they were conspiring to conciously and deliberately harm me and that gave me peace. The root of the problem is that they have Paradoxical Thinking.
There's a part of them that actually does feel good about you, but they also have this other part of their identity that hates you or negative attachment style. They are always in conflict with these parts of themselves from the very beginning because they cannot accept they are loved and being vulnerable... but then bad side of them is what we end up seeing last and naturally interpret it as betrayal and so much confusion about it at all. It was never about you and definitely not personal.
What’s important is for me to learn to trust myself and I’m still not there yet. Some days are better than others and I never know when a flashback is going to hit, hopefully doesn’t last too long so I can get going.
Accused me of cheating and installed hidden cameras in our house. He was cheating with multiple women the entire time.
Same thing happened to me but I never lived with him and he didn't live with me. I put cameras up and a gate in my driveway because he kept destroying my pro perty, my car, my home, my dogs ashes, busted 2 sliding glass doors, a living room window, my back door window, the 5 foot fence around my property, my yard, called my job and harassed my supervisor, stold my car keys, (which he lied about but I found them in his car about 6 months later) had to get pop a lock to cut me another one for $160, he then came to my job, got into my car with the key he stold and took over $300 that night. Came and busted my car windshield, tore off my side mirror, cut the valve stems from a tire. I smoke marijuana, he's stold that from me many times, tried running me off the road, stold my phone. That's just some of the things and I haven't even mentioned the cruel things he's said to me.
.... I'm not a mental health professional by any means, but Id like to thank those of you who've commented here, I'm learning a great deal from Dave, and also from comparing experiences.. it's the very first time I actually applied that tired old saying, 'I'm not alone' in this. thanks again everyone.
Your videos have been incredibly useful in figuring out what the fuck happened over the last year. Thanks.
....ditto!
Those famous words. I met someone that I have alot in commin with. But dont worry, we are just friends
Hello David, thank you for this channel. What I've learned from you is literally priceless!
This is soooo spot on!!
Thanks for all you do Dave.
Bpds and friends, Nobody fucks more than just a friend
My BPD ex literally moved in down the street with her new guy a month and a half after the last time we had sex. The last words she said to me was " You are going to be mad soon" . I never reached out to her after that day. She moved in the beginning of July 2024. It was pretty shit at first but I blocked her and began the healing process. I had a talk in October with David on the phone and boy was that the true turning point for me. I can honestly say I don't even care about it anymore. I feel empowered and bullet proof. My life is so calm and mellow I love it. I have gotten myself back because I was just so broken when I met her and got lost more and more with her as time went on.
I started dating a really amazing woman about a month and a half ago She is awesome.Calm mellow chill easy going and no sign of mental illness. Before Christmas I was driving her car and parked out front of my house and got out of the drivers seat. My BPD ex drove by and was at the stop sign. She sat there for about 10 seconds and slowly drove off looking at us. I bet she thought I was going to chase her upon the discard and didn't. What a blow to the ego that must have been. I bet the thought when she moved in with this guy that it would break me for the rest of my life and control me. The best part to me about it is well hey, now she gets to watch me move on with my life, happily. The major difference between us is that she is the same broken human being and most likely in a misrable relationship and I did the work to heal myself and become a better version of myself. Thank You David for your help. You are a beautiful human being!
Hard to believe people think like that. When I broke up with my personality disorder, he wanted to be a friend. I said no because if I married I do not want anyone to destroy my marriage. Spirit warfare showed me his personality
U ARE THE MAN OMGGG
He’s right about that moving down the street stuff , literally have one that coincidentally inhabits areas close to where live , 15 yr stalker,
How about 20 yrs
It's the devil's script....but a good humbling is necessary for many. My borderline was necessary medicine for my pride.
I love your passion David. Thank you.
Amazing how close to home this hits for me. I thought I was healing, but now looking at my inability to trust and my aversion to commitment (never had this issue in my life), I'm pretty sure there's still a long way to go. People are so keen to adapt to situations in their lives. When something so significantly unhealthy and traumatizing happens to us, it can easily affect us in ways that make life even more challenging for us -- and long after the relationship is completely over. How do we go back to seeing others as inherently good after we've been betrayed by maybe the people we loved, supported, and trusted the most? It's seemingly impossible.
finnaly i broke up with her and delete her from all social media
She was alwayes try to start a fight without reasonbe couse and avoid communication
after i leave her she will apology in social media story..
and call me narcissist 😂
the relationship is such a wild roller coaster
things getting better and then you wake up tomorrow
and you're back to square one 😪
this is emotionally exahusting and so sad
i advice anyone in realtion with BPD
To run and never look back
Hi David from Sacramento 👋🤙
This touches a nerve alright
I don't have nightmares... But insomnia..Can't eat tho..All of that...
Dante made it the lowest of the nine layers of hell for good reason.
That 😉 was hilarious! Great way to start the segment David! LMFAO!
Hey if someone wants to cheat on me then so be it. Yes. It hurts Luke hell for awhile , but guess what....I'm gonna get over it because I am stronger than they are. It's gonna be their loss in the end, not mine. Bye bye
one acute symptom I had from betrayal in the aftermath was sleep paralysis with demonic hallucinations for a week.
You had your inner core " rocked"!. I'm not surprised you did.
My wife serial cheated right from the start of our relationship. I found out 10 years later, got betrayal trauma and she flew overseas the next morning. Drip fed me information over the next 6 weeks and returned home to make a weak effort of trying to make it right and left after I forgave her by leaving me a note while I was out. I did the textbook cheat after 6 years of neglect. She seemed to take it well but obviously she didn't. I should go see a doctor...
She did move right down the street from me. And much more.
About a year ago my BPD ex girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me and instead of telling me, she said she needed space. That was the last and only thing she ever said to me. One week later she moved to another state to move in with the guy she cheated with. She streams on Kick. The way I found out she moved was she started doing kick streams with him one month later where they both talked badly about me. We never had any fights during our relationship just minor disagreements that we talked about and solved amicably. She got a job at a place we had always talked about being a dream place for us to work together at and now her and her cheating partner just got a dog together.
Do not believe for one second that she won't put the new guy through the same hell she put you through.
Monkey Branching and smear campaigns are on a rise
Put me in the same camp. We had disagreements that ended with her stonewalling which made me resentful because of it wasn't what she wanted, she shut down.
Out of nowhere, she left me for another man. No emotions, blamed me for everything, told her friend she didn't feel safe around me when I never hinted at a threat of violence.
Many people said it wouldn't last with that married man...but he's now getting a divorce after 20+years.
All I know is, he's the next one to be discarded. May take a couple of years...but even her adult son said she just wakes up one day and doesn't want to be with the guy anymore.
@@Lkingfwdnevabkwds, I'll guarantee you the time she spends with this guy will be full of dysfunction and cheating. Be happy that you didn't have to spend that much time with her. These people never end up happy and they always play the victim.
@@pythonpatrol1110 victim 100% of the time. Her "pain" was always worse than mine. It's been a yr since the divorce. Still have bad days but they are farther and fewer in between.
I have no doubt she will leave the current guy. It's just gonna take a few years. He has or had a lot of money. And she browses Amazon all day everyday
I love your introductions. Lmao❤
Thank You
I got an example for ya: Traveling from the US to Mexico for 14 years to be with the most important person in my life. I always had to travel via the Laredo land bridge, the most dangerous route because I couldn't fly there. Then come to find out, after all those years- "my love" comes to the United States and to My City and doesn't tell me. Their obviously with someone who is financing this extended vacation.
The best thing about her smearing me to everyone, is that it's stopping her from hoovering although she wants to.
I actually feel for her new guy as he's decent and already feeling her trail of destruction in only 4 months.
I experienced this. Hoovered me 7 months after breaking up, although there had been mini hoovers when I would go round for sex. I stupidly got back involved not realising she had a been with someone else for 6 months whilst sleeping with me 🤯. She ended it with him to try again with me but I could see something was holding her back and she just couldn’t bring herself to tell her family that we were going to try again, especially her mum. I knew deep down it was due to the smear. She kept getting tearful saying “the whole world is going to be against us”. She then did a 180 and went back to the new guy and said I blackmailed her into ending it with him. Craziest couple of years of my life.
yes 4 months sounds what i experienced. the signs are there from the beginning, but after 2 months of idealization the extreme testing started. i wonder how people could have years of relationships like that when their BPD partner goes completely crazy after a few months, especially if they triangulate or just trying to make you jealous... who stays with a person like that
Sounds a lot like all the people I met in Korea. If you wonder why the ones that escape are so traumatized, this is an important ingredient. There’s way more but it’s everywhere there. I experienced it in every relationship there and heard about it from every other foreigner I encountered. It is really sad knowing that all the children and adults you have cared for and tried to heal are stuck in this and will perpetrate it upon the next generation.
She cheated and left me for the guy. Accused me of cheating the whole relationship. Begged me back for a year straight. She went on dates with dudes she told me were just friends. Shit talked me online constantly. Looking back, Im pretty sure she has bipolar as well.
Scary accurate!
I'm trying to get away from a bpd person who I was intimate with and he did so many messed up things to me he's going to wish he'd never met me when I get done with him
The meme gives new meaning to “ I’ve got your back!! “😎❤️
What would be a normal response for the victim upon the initial discovery of such a type of betrayal? Shock?
I wonder how it happens that they often turn out as borderline after many years of marriage? Why does it takes years sometimes until everythings turn into a mess. Or do we on the other side swallow things (red flags) for too long, trying to keep them happy so long? ---Appreciate all your videos, they are very helpful for healing, I am from Germany
Borderline is the closest definition of my ex.
My ex is "like a sistsr to me" while hiding their relationship.
The picture in the beginning is like life in honolulu
Very interesting choice for meme! 😂😂
Lol
Hold up. This has a name? 🤯
Indeed!!
Said literally all these things :(
Thank god I ended it after four months 😐 because some of the stuff he mentioned in the video I think she did to her ex and would've done the same if not similar to me
Looking back, I never knew her.
It was all a lie.
I was never her husband-it was just my turn.
Funny thing... She did it to me while friends...:)...And then still hopped into a rel with her for an year to get discared 9000, then finally discared and well... all the arsenal used against me...
Yep
There are many men and women who have friendships with people of the opposite sex. We should not demonize that, if you are a mature adult and grew up in a small town or are a musician or whatever, you can have friendships with many people and it be completely platonic and respectful. If you have known someone for many years and they truly are just a friend we should all recognize that is not wrong snd that it is very possible. I would say observe the persons behavior and if they have friends that are the opposite sex but don’t hang out with them alone and their interactions are minimal there is nothing wrong with that. It’s introducing the “New friend” of the opposite sex that I would be Leary about and something I would never do. I have a friend from high school I’ve known for 40 years, he is family at this point. I will never stop being friends with him, and a few friends that are several decades older than me that could be my grandpa that I’ve known for over ten years. We have to be careful how we word the “just friends” subject and the connotation of it because not every friendship of the opposite sex is shady and disrespectful.
We are talking about betrayal. Not friends. Ugh.
You are fucking funny…wink, wink!
No sound
I'm sorry, it might be the UA-cam volume.
Thanks!!!! Sorry, I can hear it now! 😊
Yup
🔥
And all of this affects/ manifests physically with hairloss body ackes, strong persitant headackes and constant rumination. Men use sex in the same way...you are diatant because of all their lying and they still go have sex somewhere else...no insight no looking at themselves in the mirror to see how they cause this to theselves. It's almost as ifntheir goal always is to make things worst...never better. They can never BE BETTER it's always more damage.
🤗❤️