Coach blacademic 😊 " I want to say that you are Appreciated Respected & 🎖 Honored to follow listen take Advices thru your VIDEOS. These videos are learning experiences. I do enjoy them in applying to my own personal journey 😌 to follow. I do ❤️ LOVE MY FISTHY PARTNER JUICY MAN. I am giving myself A Chance and as well for him...! I will continue 👀 watching your Real Transparency Videos...
I travelled out of state and before I returned she took off with all the things in our apartment. Now I ask her to return some items witch she does and she ends the relationship. I go into no contact just 2 days now and she is calling me non stop...what do I do???
He broke up with me for a week, he's dating another lady before the break up, he blocked me in watsapp, calls and all social media... Is there a chance he will get back to me??
What’s for you is for you. Don’t force things; let things play out naturally. If you and your ex are meant to be, he/she will come back and do everything possible to win you back without you even doing much. Remember, less is more 🙂
It’s times like these that it’s very hard to be atheist and aspiritual because then you don’t believe anything is “meant to be” and things only happen if someone makes them happen. Because then people don’t really know how to comfort you
We went no contact.... after months he texted to meet up as FRIENDS at the beach to watch the Tide stating, Because he likes me! I said, I don't believe in ex lovers being friends..... nor do I care to be in Denial of what went down between us
Just 1 week of no contact and my ex was already hitting me up to see what’s up. 😂 I gave the most dry conversation I’ve ever given anybody. I know it hurts y’all. And if you’re the clingy type like me, it’s hard to let go. But honestly, spend that time refocusing on yourself. You’re gonna be much better off. You got this! 💕
Hey guys I know you have a lot of chronic anxiety especially if the break-up is a few months or weeks old but I can tell you by the time your ex gets to the worry phase you'll be in your relief stage and potentially starting to see someone new. I can tell you from my experience, you can see I have been commenting here. Use No Contact to get yourself back not your Ex.
I walked away after 9 years because I woke up to my own toxic childhood trauma and manipulative nature. I was perpetuating chaos. I realized she didn’t deserve that and I needed to heal independently. I don’t regret my decision because I know it had to happen to protect her and myself from more chaos. We went no contact, I’ve reached out to let her know I’m doing better, but she has never responded. Ant this point I’m giving her the space and preparing for the worst. I’m OK but I do miss the gal.
What's epic is that you become strong and resilient after many years of codependency. The moment you awaken to your own power and stop giving a fk about the needs of others over your own, you no longer worry about what anyone else does or doesn't do. You are your own best teacher if you let previous loss and pain give you the lessons. 🖖🏾
My relationship ended almost 2 years ago. He left during a very difficult time in my life. We didn’t talk for about 2 months after we parted ways. He texted me randomly and we did see eachother often. We stopped communicating last June, but he would look at my social media stories. I did text him happy birthday and he responded. I haven’t heard from him since September. I do miss him at times. We were together for almost 4 years and all the sudden he wanted part ways. I see that he’s in a new relationship with someone less attracted than me (my opinion). I guess its more of what made him want to leave me that I never or will never get answers. Even if he regrets the breakup, it will be hard to win me back because I now know your capable of walking out when time gets hard for one of us. Either way I will be with someone that God wants me to be with.
U know what you have done.... relationship's are a 2 way STREET!!! It's called ACCOUNTABILITY!!! Besides LOOKS!! FADE!!! CHI CITY BOSS UP!!!! CHARACTER is what COUNTS!!!!!
I’ve asked before. She’s a narcissist, breadcrumbing me for 2 years after our divorce. I was stuck picking them up, trying to fix her and help her understand what she’s doing. Trying to tell my logical mind that she knows what she’s doing. And has done. I’ve learned that she’s finally understood that I’ve figured her out, and she’ll never want to face the fact that she has a false sense of herself. The mask, narcissism, abuse, is real, and a horrible thing to go through.. I want my beautiful princess, who I met back. But trying to understand she was never there to begin with
I was with my ex for 10 years have 2 kids but unmarried. He broke up with me and now 1 month later he's openly expressed how he's upset I'm not acting the same as I did before like him calling em telling me about something he's excited about and he's mad I'm not praising him. I told him I'm not your wife or girlfriend you made that clear I'm not going to act like it and you made that decision.
I was dating an Avoidant for 6 yrs , never knowing he was this attachment style. He took me on vacation and picked a fight with me, told me to go home. 😢. He told me we grew apart and no longer have anything in common, which none was true. He actually began seeing someone new at the end of our relationship. It’s been 2 1/2 months. I’m still trying to put myself back together. I remind myself that he will always look for me in every new person he meets, but he’ll never find me. 🙏🏼
My experience is so similar ! 14 years long relationships. Never had any conflict and everything was peaceful. And out of nowhere she started an argument during our holidays which led to a very long discussion where she told me that she was tired of everything in her life, including our marriage, that she changed and wanted to live and independent life she never had. She was sending me "miss you" type of texts the week before. 2 months later I made her confess she was having an emotional affair with a man from her new friend group she was hanging with for a few months. Only argument about our relationship in 14 years and everything was over.
I experienced the same thing though it was only 2 and a half months. I’m honestly done with dating and relationships. They’re only there to serve one purpose (make babies) and that’s it.
I’m on day 2- hurts- felt like the most perfect relationship until he raged at me, insulted me, blanked me then dumped me- it was all a lie. God only knows how I will find the strength to carry on :(
My heart is broke my husband left me after 17 years. I miss him so much . I've begged him to come home. I don't know what to do. I'm lost,sad scared in shock can't eat sleep. I'm going to just leave it alone I guess. Pray for me, cause lord knows I need to.
My husband and I separated the 2nd time in to our 1st year of marriage. I was at the Airport heading back to the apartment we rented after we got married on the day of our 1st year anniversary. 2 days before that we had a fight and instead of talking things out he freaked out and decided that the marriage is over. For the 2nd time he chose to physically hurt me because of an issue about anyone female ( 1st is he legit cheated 4 months after getting married and 2nd one was he was chatting with a girl that is very flirty and sexual). We were on the stage of fixing things and thought that we were progressing but he just decided to escalate our fight instead of having a matured married couple. After couple of days of physical separation we were still communicating but it is more of a just a continuation of the fight. Last communication is the exchange of emails I told him that when he is ready to talk we talk but he responded that there’s nothing to talk about and that he is done with with cause I’m miserable ( I mean who wouldn’t if the guy you married 4 months into the marriage suddenly decided to cheat on you). I offered him to get a legal separation agreement if he really feels it’s over but he declined. Saying that that is not how it works. How many times I responded to him that I’m giving him the space and time to think, reflect, heal and forgive. I told him numerous times that he doesn’t have to reply to my messages because clearly he is not ready to talk but he kept on responding. Last message he sent was telling me that he has made up his mind, with or without divorce he is done. I didn’t respond anymore and it’s day 10 Of me being silent. I love and still care for him but with everything that I have gone thru with him I should be the one ending the marriage not him. My mental health has already hit rock bottom. If he comes back I want to see changes in him. I cannot be forever his punching bag!
I'm in the same boat, but I did not beg, before we actually split, I went silent, I had emotionally already checked our, but when I feel like I miss him I remember all the things that took place, the bad was more than the good! I don't regret that we are not together, I have my peace!! But I will pray for you
Unfortunately he has no reason to want me back. I was just sex...he never wanted to create a deeper connection so there's nothing to come back for. He has now a girl "friend" who's fulfilling that emotional space. He's happy.
She went under none of these .... she happily, greedily & ruthlessly dumped me when I was away for higher studies for one of her college friend whom she liked very much , she later married him ..... but yes she ditched me only after making sure that she has secured her relationship with him and then happily wasted my 8yrs of hard invested relationship .... leaving me to die a slow death . It’s been 15yrs since . Still I survived and living a steady life but I’m a changed person now & yes I did beg plead did everything to convince her not dump me / cheat on me ... but after a year I stopped as my self respect carvings kicked in . I don’t know what lies in future but one thing is sure that I won’t suggest anyone to believe in love anymore .
It only takes one devastating heartbreak from someone you loved and trusted with all your heart to see “romantic” relationships for what they really are (a conditional, ruthless and one-sided affair with a selfish creature who only cares about their own survival), turn a corner and go your own way while seeking fulfillment on your own that you realised you had within you all along. Don’t let others shame or guilt you for going your own way. I completely understand your decision. You have not quit or given up. You’ve just chosen to walk a different path that a few people have the balls to walk. You do you and to hell with everyone else.
I'm pretty sure he already has someone else. He broke up with me 3 days ago & I'm 99% sure there was someone else in his life & he decided to end things with me.
My situation at this very moment. He put me in a situation where I left but used it against me saying I left. Now in 24hrs later a nobody, blocked and before Christmas 😢
the avoidant doesn't even want to have needs, and they certainly don't want you meeting them... because then that would mean that they're relying on you, and that's one of their worst fears!
Bro none of the other videos have hit like yours do. You make it very simple to understand. If you level up as a man it’s almost impossible for them not to want you back. That’s Hypergamy .
Great video thankyou.. After 4 months NC im walking away permanently.. The barn door is closing and the light for reconciliation is going. Its her loss
My ex hit me up after 2 months of no contact. Called me now saying he wants to meet up. The gag is im completely over him. I will never go back it was me begging for his love the whole relationship. Im over that
Dude! You've been helping me a lot. Everything you said, it works! I've dated the same girl 2x. Through 2017-2018 and recently 2022-2024. She broke up both times, but, the same pattern "we're too different, we won't change eachother and bla-bla-bla" then she tried different people, went back to another ex...in 2022 she came back like i was the "righteous guy" .they always come back to the guy they know deep inside "he's a good guy". So fellas, keep no contact, work on yourself. It might take time, they come back after realising they were the unstable one. It'll be up to you to accept her back. I still like her, but I'm good by myself.
Guys, this is the most comprehensive guide to breakups. I did exactly as the Coach said and my ex is currently sending subtle messages through my friends baiting me to reach out. When she reached out during the curiosity stage I did as exactly as the Coach said. Guys stick to the script.
Yeah, I just walked away from a three-year and and a half relationship July 11, 2024 now it’s September 22, 2024. It’s been rough it’s been really painful… I cut her off completely her Instagram and her Facebook… don’t think she has is my cell phone..
The timeline for these stages isn’t reasonable when you’re in your 60s and 70s. Time is no longer a luxury. I’m 72, the man who broke up with me is 69. What to do?
I believe if u love someone you would never leave them u will sit down , talk and fix whatever problems yous are having. Thats why wen my ex eventually does come back regretting her decision im gonna turn her away and focus on my life. Im not wasting my time with people that dont see my value
If she or he comes back they also know that you are real love. We must understand that breaking up is a decision for that exact moment. They dont think about fighting for the relationship. But people will know your worth and thats the person you wanna be. So make sure to not block them away. Be open for it.
Thank you so much Coach... I know i've not forgotten him yet...maybe because i still love him, this is hurting so much but i won't beg for his love nor chasing ...i accept these brokeups...i just follow the flow,...what flows, flows.. what crashes, chrases...i just kept on silent
one thing i thought of while listening to this... what about all the ex ex's and ex ex ex's. it seems a lot of the NC content is geared toward the immediate prior 'ship, but people - men and women - still carry emotional attachments to exes prior to you. so it's not always the immediate ex that they'd necessarily want to come back to / yearn for
I think it depends on the bond and connection you had. Also how you respond to the breakup. If the other exes were nasty, mean and needy or super soft and took the friend route, that can make you look stronger and more committed.
True they're in denial for awhile my ex talked about his older daughter's mother alot I was pissed do you want her back boy he says no because she's married and I don't think that stopped him from pining over her
NC for around a month she's messaged like once a week kept it very casual and indifferent on my part and could tell she was trying to make a conversation. Yesterday she sent a picture of the 2 of us and said this was 2 years ago which led into some more small talk is say she's potentially at the worried phase
@MegaDrummerdude13 she called me drunk like 2 weeks ago saying how much she missed me how attractive bla bla. She then was messaging alot but has sort of gone ghost again. Ive been dating so not really bothered tbh. The more i think about it the more i think i just miss the energy she gave at the start than actually missing her🤷🏾
@GilbeRex nothing to do with her. I've got a girlfriend now. She was watching stories and still trying to message up until around December. She took the hint around January aint heard from her since. I wouldn't take her back if she begged tbh
@@Anon-qp3kt still nc lil after the break up heard she was seeing someone new lol but posting on social media like she’s not happy but on the other side I start talking to someone new definitely not looking back or want that anymore
Please cover this topic under the lens of a woman dumper who jumps into a rebound with another man, who she probably had lined up before breaking up. This is a common scenario for men dumpees, and not really covered much. I imagine the honey moon phase of the rebound delays or prolongs some of these stages, and has a different timeline than if they dumped you to be single for a while and work on themselves.
My ex didn't really say he wanted to break up but rather go on a break. It's very difficult to gauge what's happening. He initially initiated contact every few days, but then when I initiated contact, I'd get breadcrumbed. We haven't spoken on the phone in over a month and the last text was a couple of weeks ago. I thought that because he was initiating the contact at first, he was cool with us still communicating. But every time I reached out, I felt like I was bothering him. The texts were very brief. Granted, he said I wasn't the only person he stepped back from, but it's hard for me to not take it personally. So I'm at the point now where I'm treating it like a breakup and I've decided to go no contact since the last time we texted.
I’d also highly agree with you to treat it as a breakup and just go no contact. Currently going through the same thing it’s painful but it’s better than allowing him to see me as clingy and no standards that’s why he’s able to treat me like am bother him.
That's so true when they start to realize how much you have done when you're not together anymore. My ex told me he does, and he cant believe I did all I did and worked all the time now that he's doing it he tiring for him doing it now
Always great content tho I do wish he'd do more on when they text you back. I get it, indifferent and brief, but there is a lot more nuance than that especially short term relationship or unopened tricky statements or emoji that make it tricky. 90% of content is no contact related, would be good to have more than the 3 pieces of content on when they do finally reach out
You can refer to my channel to have that answered. But when you’re ex starts creeping back make a judgement call of when to give real response time and attention. Remember they left and they have to do the work to earn you back. So you must tread slowly as you don’t want to comfort them through the break up. When they contact take your time responding as to not seem desperate and decide of the communication deserves a response at all. If so be civil nice and yes indifferent. No need to be chatty as ypuuu must protect your emotions and judge their intention. If your reply or call back gets more responses and consistent. Always keep them short sweet AND ALWAYS END THAT CALL PR TEXT THREAD FIRST. You must not allow them to feel that you’re time is theirs. Again let them earn it! They left. Things are different. You’re not theirs anymore. Present a challenge After 2-3 talks or text if they have not asked to see you you can casually put it on the table. If they say no or not ready. Don’t get emotion on them stay cool say ok nice chatting. and Get your ass back in NC and when they reach out again let them know you’re moving on and don’t wish for this type of interaction. If they agree choose an evening romantic like setting. They must become nostalgic around u For more ck out my channel and
I really wanna know how this works if we still live together and share a child… but he is talking to someone? How do I apply these steps? Especially no contact? Cause I still do everything… (cook,clean, wash) I can’t leave my house to be unkept and it’s not in me to let anyone starve while I have prepared food. So I do still pack lunch and stuff cause I think it’s the least I can do he’s a good father and still won’t leave me hanging if I ever want something from him. I do want my relationship back but I don’t know how to go about it in these circumstances, I have not made him feel loved and appreciated for a while and I don’t know why it’s just never occurred to me I was falling short and not living him properly. I am take accountability for my role in where we are and I’m also in therapy. I just really don’t know what to do.
I cheated with words and she is so hurt and after she went through the angry stage she came to see me for a short time then again the next day she came over and we made love and now more than a month later we see each other such as doing my laundry and giving me rides to and from work but that’s it not much intimacy. She thinks we need to work on ourselves by ourselves and I can do that it’s just hard to give the space not knowing if it’s for the better and it scares me because I learned so much about myself through all of this and realized I am wholeheartedly in love with this woman and I will do anything for her and always be there for her no matter if we are together or not she’s literally the best thing that came into my life aside from my kids 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
30 days no contact and my ex wants to be FWB, until she starts dating someone serious. I'm not going for it. I have more value about myself to be placed in a secondary position.
Randomly unblocked after 9 months then blocked again 5 days after... she (the FA dumper) is showing conflicting emotions... this I believe is the doubt stage correct? 😆 My mouth remains shut!
NCcthree months after 6 years together. We work together. But I follow all NC rules. I started catching him looking at me and stopping work when I talk to someone here. But I’m still doing me. He knows where I’m at. He wants to talk great. If not great.
If she jumped into a new relationship or slept with another guy then it's done. That connection has been polluted/ tainted. That pair bond between us has been severed and that makes it simple. Bye Felicia. The only way I would consider reconnecting is if she was genuine about working it out and had not gone there! Any man who would take a girl back after that doesn't respect himself.. and if she lied about not sleeping with anyone that trust and guilt would eventually bubble to the surface
@jason2723 I feel your pain, I am still going through it with my bm but no matter how hard it is and how long it takes, your own self respect and dignity is worth so much more than what once was with her. Have faith that time will heal
If there was a breakup and she did that then it’s no longer your business. Are you saying it’s fine for guys to do this but not women? They seem like the more likely party to do it anyways
We've been on no contact for about 5 days now. And my friend call her telling me to call and check up on me. I got very mad when he told me this. She must be feeling very important right now 😔
I technically wrote the break-up text after he began to pull away. He then said he was doing some soul searching. Now I am not sure if I did the break-up or did I just beat him to it
That makes the 2 of us,,,stay strong brother i know exactly how you feel, cannot even sleep at night forever thinking about her,,,truth is only time is going to heal us....may you find peace and happiness soon brother.❤
@loverespecthumbleness7187 Love yourself enough that you dont care who walks out of your life. Check yourself and see how you played a role in the relationship and work on whatever it is. I won't wait around for a person that's no longer love you or want to be with you. Wasted of time and energy! Work on yourself first for you can be a better man for your next woman.
I've come to the conclusion I have to move on, even if he keeps texting me, he hasn't shown any intention to move forward, we've finally had a face to face conversation, was weird, he stated he has been alone the past 2 months(specifically denied to have a new relationship🤦🏼♀️) and displays this sorrow for the breakup attitude but didn't even ask to be friends... Anyway it was obvious we still have a tremendous attraction to one another but he keeps lying, hiding his new gf to me is so hurtful, I thought he was going to apologize and tell the truth you know and just do the closure I think he's looking for but instead it's just kind of he don't want me in his live but just don't want to let me go either... I admit I still love him however I can be stuck on this forever, I deserve better, we both do. I'm just going back to no contact but permanently this time I think😔
Can't help the situation for God. True love is rare and it's really rare to identify. Good and godly feelings are worth? Unsure. Only heart is to bear the pain. Be careful next time onwards
She contacted me nine days after the breakup, asked how I was, told me she was happy and thankful for her decisions, and told me she's there if I want to talk (relief period). Two days later, I fell into the trap and called her to talk about the breakup. I told her I wanted to have a calm conversation, she got irritated at me early on and I had to check her. Then we talked for an hour and a half, I got a lot of answers and helped her to understand my point of view, but she was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. She gave me more reasons for why we shouldn't be together (I've lost count of the number of reasons), even though I have at no point begged, pleaded or suggested that we get back together. Is she trying to convince herself or what? When we hung up, I told her to take care of herself and to call me if she needs to talk. It's been 18 days of NC since the call, 27 days since the breakup. How does it look for me? Again, I never challenged her decision to break up with me; I only told her to let me know if she changes her mind.
Should’ve never talked to her.. women want 2 things - attention and attention. You’re right though, a pointless conversation when nothing got solved so was it clarity? Sounded like a waste of time to me
If you tell her “let me know if you change your mind,” that tells her that you’re always available waiting for her and you have no value. She perceives that she’s better than you. Cut her off completely and block every avenue of communication for a few months and sit with yourself and your feelings and you will heal. Then you will slowly develop resilience and self love/respect and grow stronger. Do not try on her for love or strength to prop you up. It must come from within you. Give it at least 4 or 5 months because you need that time to heal from the anxious attachment/codependency. At that point when you’ve healed, you will be surprised at your own growth and think “do I actually want or need this person anymore?” Often the answer is no. You have to get to that healed point of strength to make any sound decision, otherwise your decisions are coming from a place of trauma and pain.
Don't think about it, just try and pay attention to yourself. Try and better yourself for your own reasons! Gym, DIY, going out and meeting friends. Be better for you! Stay strong!
What if he is breaking up with two people? I legitimately was with a man 5 months who claimed to love me and wanted to build a future with me. And then found out he was living with his “ex” who he has been with 8 years. But he swears they “weren’t together”. I stopped talking he came back the next two days and wouldn’t stop calling. Wanting to see me and apologize and explain. That lasted two weeks, and she left and now he is saying he needs to work on himself and can’t give me a commitment. It’s all completely gross that I even am thinking of him.
Mine dumped me twice. I shouldn't have gone back after the first time but i did now trying to heal again. Its so sad. I should tealize he would do it again over something stupid down the road so move on and heal
It's been almost 2 yrs of my last break up, and i can't get over it, and i still recover. I ended up things because i felt that i was in danger with this person, and he jumped immidiately into a new relationship. It was hard to get into a realization that he got over me, so fast but i need to deal with it.
I just broke up with my ex coz I thought he was gonna change after giving him more time to change but I guess I was all so wrong now I have blocked him from all my social media I don't want him contacting me ever again he took my love forgranted
I was with my X for 12 years. We broke up i moved out and he met someone and moved her in a month or two after i moved out. Needless to say it didnt work out. They were fighting all the time. After she moved out he got intouch with me and we started to do things for 5 month's. Getting along and having fun talked or texted every day. Then one day he let me know he met someone new. He only used me so he wouldn't be alone until he found someone new. I was so angry and hurt. I just dont understand how he can have sex with someone else. I told him he needs to get in someone to get over me. Now he text me to tell me hes blocking me. Who does that?! When that relationship doesn't work out he best not come calling me again. Im sure he fell in love already. God bless her
some people go through these stages a lot faster or a lot slower, how do we know where they are if we are in NC. she doesn't post anything on social media nor do I. She's also very shy and passive she won't reach out unless I do.
I’d say, don’t think about where they are. Continued improving yourself. If they come back, they come back. And at that point you decide if you want that. Letting go may also manifest them faster. Constantly thinking about them as your focus can energetically push them away.
@@jlady1595 I am constantly improving myself. I didn't give her enough attention and she felt like I wasn't taking the relationship seriouly. She needed more communication than I was giving. I do love here enough to let her go and wish her the best. If she comes back she is mine. I can't control thinking about her, as I miss her very much. She said to give her some time, I am in NC for 3 weeks now. I will reach out in another 2 weeks. She's won't contact me unless I contact her, it's just her personality. I just can't stop thinking about her no matter how busy I keep myself.
My hus walk away 14,months hes saying he not comeback, more I asking hes more irritable, now i stop contact or call ex, I try love myself and staying alone and enjoying myself and move onhe not coming i m not bugging to love me anymore, gods taking care wonderful
She broke up with 13 weeks ago. I've been radio silent. She's heard nothing from me. She's been stalking my socials even though i took her off. Then she messaged me the other day. I didnt even open it. This really seems to work!
Seperated over 9 going 10year now, funny part i had some of these thoughts an believe coach.... 10 years too long but, we're together from a long distance relationship, meeting up this weekend....
My ex reached out today after like a week and a half. She sent me a zoom link and when I asked her what it was she said it was for the couples workshop we signed up for months ago if u wanted to log on. Starting to think she’s playing games with me which is why I am going to maintain an attitude of indifference and not react.
I think it all depends on the individual. I was introduced to a 39 year old and we talked and zoomed for a month hitting it off. Her condition was she wanted to married in two years. I told her that I am trying to start this business and because of the unknowns I can guarantee that. So we had this conversation 2 or 3 times then we went back and forth about it then a argument then she told me to basically have a nice life and whomever I get with she hopes I'll be happy. Then radio silence blocked on social media etc. It's been about two weeks and haven't heard a peak.
2 weeks no contact yesterday and he called me at 1am while I was asleep. The call woke me up so I answered while still kinda sleep thinking it was a family emergency call and and I heard his voice I didn’t say anything and he didn’t say anything once he realized and I just hung up then he called back twice I did not answer went right back to sleep. I’m disgusted by him now. He’s a liar, a thief, dusty, broke and bummy. And fat! I’m just blessed that I got away before I got pregnant.
I can’t wait for my ex to get through these stages and come back to me. I miss her so much. She said she was indifferent about me and wants to go back into dating others but I know there is love there still from her. I accepted the break up and told her that. In no contact now as I need to heal, she said she wouldn’t block me. I pray we can rekindle after another break up together and address the issues.
That’s the problem Jimmy. As long as you keep putting her on a pedestal, you will never be able to keep her if she returns. I know it seems unfair but that’s the way attraction works. You need her to be more invested in you than you into her for it to work. Give yourself time to heal and to help you completely detach. Don’t wait around for her and move on. That way, if she does come back, you will be able to make a better informed decision whether to give her a second chance or not.
We only dated 4 months - is that enough time for her to go through these stages? She broke up with me because she said I wasn’t giving her minimum level of respect that she deserves from someone (she’s very into mental health). I want to chat with her and show that I’m interested in learning from those mistakes (for my own self improvement), but this would be breaking no contact. She also deleted my number so that she is forced to not contact me back. She goes cold-turkey with all her exes, we’ve talked about this. Not sure if I need to have the mental health chat with her and then do no contact, or what.. I will eventually have to reach out because she didn’t save my #.
Move on from her mate. If she’s able to discard you like that and lose your number, then she never cared for you to begin with and is happy to not want you in her life.
No contact for 8 months...we were together nine years...sad as i still hope to hear from him...but after watching your videos i have lost hope..any answers for me?
My situation is kind of unique. My ex is a social media influencer and posts about her daily life including how she is handling our breakup. I don't have social media at all. We also don't have any mutual contacts. She lives in another state now shortly after we broke up. She has no way to really be curious or go on my page to see what I'm up to at all. Will the curious stage still apply? Or is it more like out of sight out of mind?
Sorry for your break up. Remember we are all energy and you still pining over her wondering if she is a particular phase can be felt by Dumper. Your true absence. Physically energetically mentally is felt. Use NC instead to heal grow transform RE appreciate how amazing you are . Find new hobbies routine health routines REDIRECT YOUR ENERGY ON YOU HEALING AND LIVING YOIRE BEST LIFE NOT A STAND BY LIFE. WHEN YOU. BEGIN TO TRULY MOVE ON THEN THEY WILL SHOW UP
And maybe it’s time you do start a social media page and begins showing the great life you’re having. Dumpers expect you to never change grow move on or do anything different t but worry about them. Want a different result?? You must do things different
Even the most external presented people will realise that they haven’t heard from you… and most likely are desperate for ego to be fed when she realises that you’re not following nor reacting to her social media update crap. Good luck ❤
what happens when you go through all this a second time round with the same person? i went through the whole process 6 months ago and took her back after a couple of months being apart. we went on 2 vacations abroad together for her to do the exact same thing again 🤦🏾♂️i already know the answer and i find it weird going through this again. this time, though, there's no going back for me personally.
She blocked me on everything after I did no contact after couple days over the weekend…. Crazy she’s gone ghost I don’t know what this means we love each other and we’re only not together due to her farther and family 😢
The last few minutes of this video of when the person realizes that you don't care and if you decide to take them back reminds me of lyrics to "Under My Thumb" by The Rolling Stones. 🤔
If you would like to chat about your situation, click here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj
Coach blacademic 😊 "
I want to say that you are Appreciated Respected & 🎖 Honored to follow listen take Advices thru your VIDEOS.
These videos are learning experiences. I do enjoy them in applying to my own personal journey 😌 to follow. I do ❤️ LOVE MY FISTHY PARTNER JUICY MAN.
I am giving myself A Chance and as well for him...!
I will continue 👀 watching your Real Transparency Videos...
I travelled out of state and before I returned she took off with all the things in our apartment. Now I ask her to return some items witch she does and she ends the relationship. I go into no contact just 2 days now and she is calling me non stop...what do I do???
If they broke up with us... Should we block them on social media or not?
He broke up with me for a week, he's dating another lady before the break up, he blocked me in watsapp, calls and all social media... Is there a chance he will get back to me??
@@koolkaye18 yesssss...i can tell you yess for sure. Just ignore him for a while. It really works.
What’s for you is for you. Don’t force things; let things play out naturally. If you and your ex are meant to be, he/she will come back and do everything possible to win you back without you even doing much. Remember, less is more 🙂
Thank you for the wisdom 🙏
You’re absolutely right and thank you for that motivation
The grass isn't always greener...
Just awesome.
It’s times like these that it’s very hard to be atheist and aspiritual because then you don’t believe anything is “meant to be” and things only happen if someone makes them happen. Because then people don’t really know how to comfort you
How can you want someone back if they blamed you for everything. Let the narcissist go for good. Start your healing journey, people.
Remember, these stages are not linear! A dumper can go back and forth between stages
We went no contact.... after months he texted to meet up as FRIENDS at the beach to watch the Tide stating, Because he likes me! I said, I don't believe in ex lovers being friends..... nor do I care to be in Denial of what went down between us
🎉 yes 👏🏽
Just 1 week of no contact and my ex was already hitting me up to see what’s up. 😂 I gave the most dry conversation I’ve ever given anybody. I know it hurts y’all. And if you’re the clingy type like me, it’s hard to let go. But honestly, spend that time refocusing on yourself. You’re gonna be much better off. You got this! 💕
Thx queen
Thank you 🙏🏾
How do you deal with the pain and feeling of abandonment and rejection?
Thanks Queen
now what stage are u at between you two or with yourself?
\
Hey guys I know you have a lot of chronic anxiety especially if the break-up is a few months or weeks old but I can tell you by the time your ex gets to the worry phase you'll be in your relief stage and potentially starting to see someone new. I can tell you from my experience, you can see I have been commenting here. Use No Contact to get yourself back not your Ex.
❤❤❤tu
1. Relief
2. Curiosity
3. Worry and fear
4. Doubt
5. Regret
Which stage of that is them sharing passive-aggressive breakup posts on Facebook clearly targeted at you 😒
I'm currently in stage 3. It sucks hard.
Mine doesn’t give a shit. She’s busy riding someone else and recently celebrated Valentine’s day.
What stage is then he turn cold n blame me for everything?
Lol L bozo @@Sparky_D
I walked away after 9 years because I woke up to my own toxic childhood trauma and manipulative nature. I was perpetuating chaos. I realized she didn’t deserve that and I needed to heal independently. I don’t regret my decision because I know it had to happen to protect her and myself from more chaos. We went no contact, I’ve reached out to let her know I’m doing better, but she has never responded. Ant this point I’m giving her the space and preparing for the worst. I’m OK but I do miss the gal.
What's epic is that you become strong and resilient after many years of codependency. The moment you awaken to your own power and stop giving a fk about the needs of others over your own, you no longer worry about what anyone else does or doesn't do. You are your own best teacher if you let previous loss and pain give you the lessons. 🖖🏾
Well said!stand up for yourself!be strong&enjoy life!pamper yourself!
Word
My relationship ended almost 2 years ago. He left during a very difficult time in my life. We didn’t talk for about 2 months after we parted ways. He texted me randomly and we did see eachother often. We stopped communicating last June, but he would look at my social media stories. I did text him happy birthday and he responded. I haven’t heard from him since September. I do miss him at times. We were together for almost 4 years and all the sudden he wanted part ways. I see that he’s in a new relationship with someone less attracted than me (my opinion). I guess its more of what made him want to leave me that I never or will never get answers. Even if he regrets the breakup, it will be hard to win me back because I now know your capable of walking out when time gets hard for one of us. Either way I will be with someone that God wants me to be with.
U know what you have done.... relationship's are a 2 way STREET!!! It's called ACCOUNTABILITY!!! Besides LOOKS!! FADE!!! CHI CITY BOSS UP!!!! CHARACTER is what COUNTS!!!!!
I’ve asked before. She’s a narcissist, breadcrumbing me for 2 years after our divorce. I was stuck picking them up, trying to fix her and help her understand what she’s doing. Trying to tell my logical mind that she knows what she’s doing. And has done. I’ve learned that she’s finally understood that I’ve figured her out, and she’ll never want to face the fact that she has a false sense of herself. The mask, narcissism, abuse, is real, and a horrible thing to go through.. I want my beautiful princess, who I met back. But trying to understand she was never there to begin with
Wow. I'm so sorry you went through that.
Going thru the same thing currently. That’s deep bro.
Same. There are more female narcissists than people think. It’s turning into a pandemic.
Been there it hurts
This is happening to me at the moment. It's like the person you met from the start and current person you've broken up with are two different people
I was with my ex for 10 years have 2 kids but unmarried. He broke up with me and now 1 month later he's openly expressed how he's upset I'm not acting the same as I did before like him calling em telling me about something he's excited about and he's mad I'm not praising him. I told him I'm not your wife or girlfriend you made that clear I'm not going to act like it and you made that decision.
❤stay strong ❤
And remember that sometimes people just want nothing to do with you anymore. Before you go giving yourself false hope
This.
Whatever you believe is what will take place... You literally create your own reality with your own thoughts.
@@uzuriaholmes Your thoughts don’t dictate or control other people’s behaviour.
@@OnderHassan it sho don't never said it did. Next.
Even in that instance many still come back for closure.
He doesn’t seem like he cares. We haven’t talked in two months. He dumped me and no contact since.
I was dating an Avoidant for 6 yrs , never knowing he was this attachment style. He took me on vacation and picked a fight with me, told me to go home. 😢. He told me we grew apart and no longer have anything in common, which none was true. He actually began seeing someone new at the end of our relationship. It’s been 2 1/2 months. I’m still trying to put myself back together. I remind myself that he will always look for me in every new person he meets, but he’ll never find me. 🙏🏼
Identic on vacation put od Blue after 11 Years releshionship with insolts
My experience is so similar ! 14 years long relationships. Never had any conflict and everything was peaceful. And out of nowhere she started an argument during our holidays which led to a very long discussion where she told me that she was tired of everything in her life, including our marriage, that she changed and wanted to live and independent life she never had. She was sending me "miss you" type of texts the week before. 2 months later I made her confess she was having an emotional affair with a man from her new friend group she was hanging with for a few months.
Only argument about our relationship in 14 years and everything was over.
I experienced the same thing though it was only 2 and a half months.
I’m honestly done with dating and relationships. They’re only there to serve one purpose (make babies) and that’s it.
My ex who dumped me reached out after 8 days of no contact. I didn’t respond. Starting day 9 of NC today 4/1/2024
What happened now ? Are you guys back together
@@sha9192Vmez no. I still love her but its time to move on
I’m on day 2- hurts- felt like the most perfect relationship until he raged at me, insulted me, blanked me then dumped me- it was all a lie. God only knows how I will find the strength to carry on :(
@@zubieM first week or 2 is the worst. After that it starts getting just a little bit better everyday. Focus on yourself. I pray for your success
My ex broke up with me after 7 months.I let it go No contacting him at all !
My heart is broke my husband left me after 17 years. I miss him so much . I've begged him to come home. I don't know what to do. I'm lost,sad scared in shock can't eat sleep. I'm going to just leave it alone I guess. Pray for me, cause lord knows I need to.
I know this feeling all too well. I pray that you receive healing and the love you desire. Sending hugs
My husband and I separated the 2nd time in to our 1st year of marriage. I was at the Airport heading back to the apartment we rented after we got married on the day of our 1st year anniversary. 2 days before that we had a fight and instead of talking things out he freaked out and decided that the marriage is over. For the 2nd time he chose to physically hurt me because of an issue about anyone female ( 1st is he legit cheated 4 months after getting married and 2nd one was he was chatting with a girl that is very flirty and sexual). We were on the stage of fixing things and thought that we were progressing but he just decided to escalate our fight instead of having a matured married couple. After couple of days of physical separation we were still communicating but it is more of a just a continuation of the fight. Last communication is the exchange of emails I told him that when he is ready to talk we talk but he responded that there’s nothing to talk about and that he is done with with cause I’m miserable ( I mean who wouldn’t if the guy you married 4 months into the marriage suddenly decided to cheat on you). I offered him to get a legal separation agreement if he really feels it’s over but he declined. Saying that that is not how it works. How many times I responded to him that I’m giving him the space and time to think, reflect, heal and forgive. I told him numerous times that he doesn’t have to reply to my messages because clearly he is not ready to talk but he kept on responding. Last message he sent was telling me that he has made up his mind, with or without divorce he is done. I didn’t respond anymore and it’s day 10
Of me being silent. I love and still care for him but with everything that I have gone thru with him I should be the one ending the marriage not him. My mental health has already hit rock bottom. If he comes back I want to see changes in him. I cannot be forever his punching bag!
I'm in the same boat, but I did not beg, before we actually split, I went silent, I had emotionally already checked our, but when I feel like I miss him I remember all the things that took place, the bad was more than the good! I don't regret that we are not together, I have my peace!! But I will pray for you
What’s the status on your journey? Hope you feel much better by now.
Hey I really hope you are doing better now…
Unfortunately he has no reason to want me back. I was just sex...he never wanted to create a deeper connection so there's nothing to come back for. He has now a girl "friend" who's fulfilling that emotional space. He's happy.
Move on. If he ever comes back for sex… get your revenge and be done with his stupid buttface.
She went under none of these .... she happily, greedily & ruthlessly dumped me when I was away for higher studies for one of her college friend whom she liked very much , she later married him ..... but yes she ditched me only after making sure that she has secured her relationship with him and then happily wasted my 8yrs of hard invested relationship .... leaving me to die a slow death . It’s been 15yrs since .
Still I survived and living a steady life but I’m a changed person now & yes I did beg plead did everything to convince her not dump me / cheat on me ... but after a year I stopped as my self respect carvings kicked in .
I don’t know what lies in future but one thing is sure that I won’t suggest anyone to believe in love anymore .
Sorry about all that … praying for your healing 🙏🏾
I second you
Yikes!
Love is a scam
It only takes one devastating heartbreak from someone you loved and trusted with all your heart to see “romantic” relationships for what they really are (a conditional, ruthless and one-sided affair with a selfish creature who only cares about their own survival), turn a corner and go your own way while seeking fulfillment on your own that you realised you had within you all along.
Don’t let others shame or guilt you for going your own way. I completely understand your decision.
You have not quit or given up. You’ve just chosen to walk a different path that a few people have the balls to walk.
You do you and to hell with everyone else.
You have a unique way of explaining and breaking down each stage that other coaches on UA-cam do not. You’re one of the best man, keep it up!
My ex is a narcissist so he will never be able to love nor careless if we get back.. I just blocked him to continue to heal 😊
What if you are the narcissist?
Unblock him….
Can we normalize breaking up with ppl who disturb our peace and mental health!
Speak on it I had to remove myself from that toxic environment yesss Lord
Dont beg anybody to stay let them go if they come back cool then its meant to be
I'm pretty sure he already has someone else. He broke up with me 3 days ago & I'm 99% sure there was someone else in his life & he decided to end things with me.
My situation at this very moment. He put me in a situation where I left but used it against me saying I left. Now in 24hrs later a nobody, blocked and before Christmas 😢
the avoidant doesn't even want to have needs,
and they certainly don't want you meeting them...
because then that would mean that they're relying on you,
and that's one of their worst fears!
Bro none of the other videos have hit like yours do. You make it very simple to understand. If you level up as a man it’s almost impossible for them not to want you back. That’s Hypergamy .
Great video thankyou..
After 4 months NC im walking away permanently..
The barn door is closing and the light for reconciliation is going.
Its her loss
My ex hit me up after 2 months of no contact. Called me now saying he wants to meet up. The gag is im completely over him. I will never go back it was me begging for his love the whole relationship. Im over that
Get free drinks and dinner out of it. And at the end you excuse yourself for the restroom and never come back 😂
Am so proud of u ❤ i Hope i get there too😢
@@Missy-d9q you will hun, with time 💕
🤣 it sounds like he’s weak has no backbone no spine….😂… what happened to the masculine men nowadays?
I Got My Ex Back!! Thank U Coach Black❤❤❤
Congratulations! How long did it take? What did you to get them back? @sharonpowell6109
Smh
❤❤❤❤❤
Why would you even want them back?
Happy for you bro 🙏🏾
Most probably the best Video on break up Definition currently online on UA-cam. Perfect Articulation !!!
Remember people the dumper lefted you because they thought you were the problem! Let that one sink in!
Dude! You've been helping me a lot. Everything you said, it works! I've dated the same girl 2x. Through 2017-2018 and recently 2022-2024.
She broke up both times, but, the same pattern "we're too different, we won't change eachother and bla-bla-bla" then she tried different people, went back to another ex...in 2022 she came back like i was the "righteous guy" .they always come back to the guy they know deep inside "he's a good guy". So fellas, keep no contact, work on yourself. It might take time, they come back after realising they were the unstable one. It'll be up to you to accept her back. I still like her, but I'm good by myself.
Guys, this is the most comprehensive guide to breakups. I did exactly as the Coach said and my ex is currently sending subtle messages through my friends baiting me to reach out.
When she reached out during the curiosity stage I did as exactly as the Coach said. Guys stick to the script.
Thanks Coach Blac✊🏾👑...you're helping tons of people!!
He has been a life saver for me 🙏❤️
He has been a life saver for me as well
I strongly recommend blocking someones number. Its a lot easier to ignore them when you do this.
Yeah, I just walked away from a three-year and and a half relationship July 11, 2024 now it’s September 22, 2024. It’s been rough it’s been really painful… I cut her off completely her Instagram and her Facebook… don’t think she has is my cell phone..
The timeline for these stages isn’t reasonable when you’re in your 60s and 70s. Time is no longer a luxury. I’m 72, the man who broke up with me is 69. What to do?
I too would like to hear what Coach has to say about later in life relationships
I believe if u love someone you would never leave them u will sit down , talk and fix whatever problems yous are having. Thats why wen my ex eventually does come back regretting her decision im gonna turn her away and focus on my life. Im not wasting my time with people that dont see my value
If she or he comes back they also know that you are real love. We must understand that breaking up is a decision for that exact moment. They dont think about fighting for the relationship. But people will know your worth and thats the person you wanna be. So make sure to not block them away. Be open for it.
Update ??
Thank you so much Coach...
I know i've not forgotten him yet...maybe because i still love him, this is hurting so much but i won't beg for his love nor chasing ...i accept these brokeups...i just follow the flow,...what flows, flows..
what crashes, chrases...i just kept on silent
one thing i thought of while listening to this... what about all the ex ex's and ex ex ex's. it seems a lot of the NC content is geared toward the immediate prior 'ship, but people - men and women - still carry emotional attachments to exes prior to you. so it's not always the immediate ex that they'd necessarily want to come back to / yearn for
I think it depends on the bond and connection you had. Also how you respond to the breakup. If the other exes were nasty, mean and needy or super soft and took the friend route, that can make you look stronger and more committed.
True they're in denial for awhile my ex talked about his older daughter's mother alot I was pissed do you want her back boy he says no because she's married and I don't think that stopped him from pining over her
Hey coach can you do a video on how u no you lost your ex for ever
NC for around a month she's messaged like once a week kept it very casual and indifferent on my part and could tell she was trying to make a conversation. Yesterday she sent a picture of the 2 of us and said this was 2 years ago which led into some more small talk is say she's potentially at the worried phase
Bro.. how has it panned out? I am invested lol. Did you two catch up
@MegaDrummerdude13 she called me drunk like 2 weeks ago saying how much she missed me how attractive bla bla. She then was messaging alot but has sort of gone ghost again. Ive been dating so not really bothered tbh. The more i think about it the more i think i just miss the energy she gave at the start than actually missing her🤷🏾
@@jermainecampbell153so now that 9 months has passed since then.... What ended up happening? Did you get back with her?
@GilbeRex nothing to do with her. I've got a girlfriend now. She was watching stories and still trying to message up until around December. She took the hint around January aint heard from her since. I wouldn't take her back if she begged tbh
Thanks!
I love the background music, so soothing
It been over a month now I don’t think my ex care or been through any of those stages 7 years down the drained
4 months later, how is it? How are you?
How’s it going man?
@@Anon-qp3kt still nc lil after the break up heard she was seeing someone new lol but posting on social media like she’s not happy but on the other side I start talking to someone new definitely not looking back or want that anymore
I'm on day 1 of NC after we tried hanging out last night. I'm confident he will be coming back 🙏
Please cover this topic under the lens of a woman dumper who jumps into a rebound with another man, who she probably had lined up before breaking up. This is a common scenario for men dumpees, and not really covered much. I imagine the honey moon phase of the rebound delays or prolongs some of these stages, and has a different timeline than if they dumped you to be single for a while and work on themselves.
My ex didn't really say he wanted to break up but rather go on a break. It's very difficult to gauge what's happening. He initially initiated contact every few days, but then when I initiated contact, I'd get breadcrumbed. We haven't spoken on the phone in over a month and the last text was a couple of weeks ago. I thought that because he was initiating the contact at first, he was cool with us still communicating. But every time I reached out, I felt like I was bothering him. The texts were very brief. Granted, he said I wasn't the only person he stepped back from, but it's hard for me to not take it personally. So I'm at the point now where I'm treating it like a breakup and I've decided to go no contact since the last time we texted.
I’d also highly agree with you to treat it as a breakup and just go no contact. Currently going through the same thing it’s painful but it’s better than allowing him to see me as clingy and no standards that’s why he’s able to treat me like am bother him.
@@galaxie8000 Exactly 💯
Bread crumbing is the worst. It's like they do it for the ego boost & to keep you on the line for a back up. It's just a miserable thing to do.
She hopped into a rebound but realizes how amazing of a father I am and slept with me not too long ago
That's so true when they start to realize how much you have done when you're not together anymore. My ex told me he does, and he cant believe I did all I did and worked all the time now that he's doing it he tiring for him doing it now
God thank you for putting this out there, I needed this badly this morning,
Everything will be ok 🙏🏽❤️ never stop loving
Always great content tho I do wish he'd do more on when they text you back. I get it, indifferent and brief, but there is a lot more nuance than that especially short term relationship or unopened tricky statements or emoji that make it tricky. 90% of content is no contact related, would be good to have more than the 3 pieces of content on when they do finally reach out
You can refer to my channel to have that answered. But when you’re ex starts creeping back make a judgement call of when to give real response time and attention. Remember they left and they have to do the work to earn you back. So you must tread slowly as you don’t want to comfort them through the break up.
When they contact take your time responding as to not seem desperate and decide of the communication deserves a response at all.
If so be civil nice and yes indifferent. No need to be chatty as ypuuu must protect your emotions and judge their intention.
If your reply or call back gets more responses and consistent. Always keep them short sweet AND ALWAYS END THAT CALL PR TEXT THREAD FIRST. You must not allow them to feel that you’re time is theirs. Again let them earn it! They left. Things are different. You’re not theirs anymore. Present a challenge
After 2-3 talks or text if they have not asked to see you you can casually put it on the table. If they say no or not ready. Don’t get emotion on them stay cool say ok nice chatting. and Get your ass back in NC and when they reach out again let them know you’re moving on and don’t wish for this type of interaction.
If they agree choose an evening romantic like setting. They must become nostalgic around u
For more ck out my channel
and
Merci!
I really wanna know how this works if we still live together and share a child… but he is talking to someone?
How do I apply these steps? Especially no contact? Cause I still do everything… (cook,clean, wash) I can’t leave my house to be unkept and it’s not in me to let anyone starve while I have prepared food. So I do still pack lunch and stuff cause I think it’s the least I can do he’s a good father and still won’t leave me hanging if I ever want something from him. I do want my relationship back but I don’t know how to go about it in these circumstances, I have not made him feel loved and appreciated for a while and I don’t know why it’s just never occurred to me I was falling short and not living him properly. I am take accountability for my role in where we are and I’m also in therapy. I just really don’t know what to do.
Grey rock method
Smart Man! And describes everything so clearly with the examples he gives and his tone... perfection
Real talk I did No contact for a week and look at your video now she’s begging me back smh don’t even know if I want her now .. damn
I cheated with words and she is so hurt and after she went through the angry stage she came to see me for a short time then again the next day she came over and we made love and now more than a month later we see each other such as doing my laundry and giving me rides to and from work but that’s it not much intimacy. She thinks we need to work on ourselves by ourselves and I can do that it’s just hard to give the space not knowing if it’s for the better and it scares me because I learned so much about myself through all of this and realized I am wholeheartedly in love with this woman and I will do anything for her and always be there for her no matter if we are together or not she’s literally the best thing that came into my life aside from my kids 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
30 days no contact and my ex wants to be FWB, until she starts dating someone serious. I'm not going for it. I have more value about myself to be placed in a secondary position.
Randomly unblocked after 9 months then blocked again 5 days after... she (the FA dumper) is showing conflicting emotions... this I believe is the doubt stage correct? 😆 My mouth remains shut!
NCcthree months after 6 years together. We work together. But I follow all NC rules. I started catching him looking at me and stopping work when I talk to someone here. But I’m still doing me. He knows where I’m at. He wants to talk great. If not great.
If she jumped into a new relationship or slept with another guy then it's done. That connection has been polluted/ tainted. That pair bond between us has been severed and that makes it simple. Bye Felicia.
The only way I would consider reconnecting is if she was genuine about working it out and had not gone there! Any man who would take a girl back after that doesn't respect himself.. and if she lied about not sleeping with anyone that trust and guilt would eventually bubble to the surface
Completely agree with this once trust is gone it’s gone and can’t be forgotten
And it bubbled to the surface. I'm genuinely heart broken. Can't sleep. I'm gutted
@jason2723 I feel your pain, I am still going through it with my bm but no matter how hard it is and how long it takes, your own self respect and dignity is worth so much more than what once was with her. Have faith that time will heal
If there was a breakup and she did that then it’s no longer your business. Are you saying it’s fine for guys to do this but not women? They seem like the more likely party to do it anyways
Agreed
Once l break up l don't reconnect, because evidently they did something for me to break it off. I stay no contact even though l was the Dumper.
We've been on no contact for about 5 days now. And my friend call her telling me to call and check up on me. I got very mad when he told me this. She must be feeling very important right now 😔
You re amazing... I really love watching you
Follower from Iraq❤
I technically wrote the break-up text after he began to pull away. He then said he was doing some soul searching. Now I am not sure if I did the break-up or did I just beat him to it
You sir are Awesome and i understand now whats going on ,thank you have a New subscriber
Your videos are helping me through this break I'm going through, I miss her a lot😢
That makes the 2 of us,,,stay strong brother i know exactly how you feel, cannot even sleep at night forever thinking about her,,,truth is only time is going to heal us....may you find peace and happiness soon brother.❤
@loverespecthumbleness7187 Love yourself enough that you dont care who walks out of your life. Check yourself and see how you played a role in the relationship and work on whatever it is. I won't wait around for a person that's no longer love you or want to be with you. Wasted of time and energy! Work on yourself first for you can be a better man for your next woman.
I've come to the conclusion I have to move on, even if he keeps texting me, he hasn't shown any intention to move forward, we've finally had a face to face conversation, was weird, he stated he has been alone the past 2 months(specifically denied to have a new relationship🤦🏼♀️) and displays this sorrow for the breakup attitude but didn't even ask to be friends... Anyway it was obvious we still have a tremendous attraction to one another but he keeps lying, hiding his new gf to me is so hurtful, I thought he was going to apologize and tell the truth you know and just do the closure I think he's looking for but instead it's just kind of he don't want me in his live but just don't want to let me go either... I admit I still love him however I can be stuck on this forever, I deserve better, we both do. I'm just going back to no contact but permanently this time I think😔
All good news will come to you .. stay happy friend..
Can't help the situation for God. True love is rare and it's really rare to identify. Good and godly feelings are worth? Unsure. Only heart is to bear the pain. Be careful next time onwards
This is exactly what I'm facing at the moment, and it hurts me so bad
She contacted me nine days after the breakup, asked how I was, told me she was happy and thankful for her decisions, and told me she's there if I want to talk (relief period). Two days later, I fell into the trap and called her to talk about the breakup. I told her I wanted to have a calm conversation, she got irritated at me early on and I had to check her. Then we talked for an hour and a half, I got a lot of answers and helped her to understand my point of view, but she was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. She gave me more reasons for why we shouldn't be together (I've lost count of the number of reasons), even though I have at no point begged, pleaded or suggested that we get back together. Is she trying to convince herself or what? When we hung up, I told her to take care of herself and to call me if she needs to talk. It's been 18 days of NC since the call, 27 days since the breakup. How does it look for me? Again, I never challenged her decision to break up with me; I only told her to let me know if she changes her mind.
Should’ve never talked to her.. women want 2 things - attention and attention. You’re right though, a pointless conversation when nothing got solved so was it clarity? Sounded like a waste of time to me
If you tell her “let me know if you change your mind,” that tells her that you’re always available waiting for her and you have no value. She perceives that she’s better than you. Cut her off completely and block every avenue of communication for a few months and sit with yourself and your feelings and you will heal. Then you will slowly develop resilience and self love/respect and grow stronger. Do not try on her for love or strength to prop you up. It must come from within you. Give it at least 4 or 5 months because you need that time to heal from the anxious attachment/codependency. At that point when you’ve healed, you will be surprised at your own growth and think “do I actually want or need this person anymore?” Often the answer is no. You have to get to that healed point of strength to make any sound decision, otherwise your decisions are coming from a place of trauma and pain.
Don't think about it, just try and pay attention to yourself. Try and better yourself for your own reasons! Gym, DIY, going out and meeting friends. Be better for you! Stay strong!
What if he is breaking up with two people? I legitimately was with a man 5 months who claimed to love me and wanted to build a future with me. And then found out he was living with his “ex” who he has been with 8 years. But he swears they “weren’t together”. I stopped talking he came back the next two days and wouldn’t stop calling. Wanting to see me and apologize and explain. That lasted two weeks, and she left and now he is saying he needs to work on himself and can’t give me a commitment. It’s all completely gross that I even am thinking of him.
Thanks!
I need som help will u have a one on one with me please 🎉
That's what's they do they look dir you in somebody else they'll never find then because there is only one you😊
Mine dumped me twice. I shouldn't have gone back after the first time but i did now trying to heal again. Its so sad. I should tealize he would do it again over something stupid down the road so move on and heal
It's been almost 2 yrs of my last break up, and i can't get over it, and i still recover. I ended up things because i felt that i was in danger with this person, and he jumped immidiately into a new relationship. It was hard to get into a realization that he got over me, so fast but i need to deal with it.
I just broke up with my ex coz I thought he was gonna change after giving him more time to change but I guess I was all so wrong now I have blocked him from all my social media I don't want him contacting me ever again he took my love forgranted
I was with my X for 12 years. We broke up i moved out and he met someone and moved her in a month or two after i moved out. Needless to say it didnt work out. They were fighting all the time. After she moved out he got intouch with me and we started to do things for 5 month's. Getting along and having fun talked or texted every day. Then one day he let me know he met someone new. He only used me so he wouldn't be alone until he found someone new. I was so angry and hurt. I just dont understand how he can have sex with someone else. I told him he needs to get in someone to get over me. Now he text me to tell me hes blocking me. Who does that?! When that relationship doesn't work out he best not come calling me again. Im sure he fell in love already. God bless her
some people go through these stages a lot faster or a lot slower, how do we know where they are if we are in NC. she doesn't post anything on social media nor do I. She's also very shy and passive she won't reach out unless I do.
I’d say, don’t think about where they are. Continued improving yourself. If they come back, they come back. And at that point you decide if you want that. Letting go may also manifest them faster. Constantly thinking about them as your focus can energetically push them away.
@@jlady1595 I am constantly improving myself. I didn't give her enough attention and she felt like I wasn't taking the relationship seriouly. She needed more communication than I was giving. I do love here enough to let her go and wish her the best. If she comes back she is mine. I can't control thinking about her, as I miss her very much. She said to give her some time, I am in NC for 3 weeks now. I will reach out in another 2 weeks. She's won't contact me unless I contact her, it's just her personality. I just can't stop thinking about her no matter how busy I keep myself.
My hus walk away 14,months hes saying he not comeback, more I asking hes more irritable, now i stop contact or call ex, I try love myself and staying alone and enjoying myself and move onhe not coming i m not bugging to love me anymore, gods taking care wonderful
I wish i would have found these videos sooner. Ughhh!! Ive done all the wrong stuff.
She broke up with 13 weeks ago. I've been radio silent.
She's heard nothing from me. She's been stalking my socials even though i took her off.
Then she messaged me the other day. I didnt even open it.
This really seems to work!
Very informative video, I don't know there is something about your voice and how you articulate the message, it's so shooting to hear.
Dude you are effective,,, you sound like a healer too as well lol 😅
Thank you Coach Blac- From Canada 🇨🇦
Seperated over 9 going 10year now, funny part i had some of these thoughts an believe coach.... 10 years too long but, we're together from a long distance relationship, meeting up this weekend....
My ex reached out today after like a week and a half. She sent me a zoom link and when I asked her what it was she said it was for the couples workshop we signed up for months ago if u wanted to log on. Starting to think she’s playing games with me which is why I am going to maintain an attitude of indifference and not react.
I think it all depends on the individual. I was introduced to a 39 year old and we talked and zoomed for a month hitting it off. Her condition was she wanted to married in two years. I told her that I am trying to start this business and because of the unknowns I can guarantee that. So we had this conversation 2 or 3 times then we went back and forth about it then a argument then she told me to basically have a nice life and whomever I get with she hopes I'll be happy. Then radio silence blocked on social media etc. It's been about two weeks and haven't heard a peak.
Was it a deep committed relationship you were in?
Yooooo my guy what's craccin
2 weeks no contact yesterday and he called me at 1am while I was asleep. The call woke me up so I answered while still kinda sleep thinking it was a family emergency call and and I heard his voice I didn’t say anything and he didn’t say anything once he realized and I just hung up then he called back twice I did not answer went right back to sleep. I’m disgusted by him now. He’s a liar, a thief, dusty, broke and bummy. And fat! I’m just blessed that I got away before I got pregnant.
I can’t wait for my ex to get through these stages and come back to me. I miss her so much. She said she was indifferent about me and wants to go back into dating others but I know there is love there still from her. I accepted the break up and told her that. In no contact now as I need to heal, she said she wouldn’t block me. I pray we can rekindle after another break up together and address the issues.
omg this is exactly what i’m going through too
That’s the problem Jimmy. As long as you keep putting her on a pedestal, you will never be able to keep her if she returns. I know it seems unfair but that’s the way attraction works.
You need her to be more invested in you than you into her for it to work.
Give yourself time to heal and to help you completely detach. Don’t wait around for her and move on.
That way, if she does come back, you will be able to make a better informed decision whether to give her a second chance or not.
Your are an angel
We only dated 4 months - is that enough time for her to go through these stages? She broke up with me because she said I wasn’t giving her minimum level of respect that she deserves from someone (she’s very into mental health). I want to chat with her and show that I’m interested in learning from those mistakes (for my own self improvement), but this would be breaking no contact. She also deleted my number so that she is forced to not contact me back. She goes cold-turkey with all her exes, we’ve talked about this. Not sure if I need to have the mental health chat with her and then do no contact, or what.. I will eventually have to reach out because she didn’t save my #.
Move on from her mate. If she’s able to discard you like that and lose your number, then she never cared for you to begin with and is happy to not want you in her life.
How can you tell when the curiosity stage starts if they watched your stories from the beginning of the break up?
No contact for 8 months...we were together nine years...sad as i still hope to hear from him...but after watching your videos i have lost hope..any answers for me?
That means something so much better is coming your way!!
I feel like she is 100 steps ahead of me and I am just at the beginning stage and it has been almost 2 months.
My situation is kind of unique. My ex is a social media influencer and posts about her daily life including how she is handling our breakup. I don't have social media at all. We also don't have any mutual contacts. She lives in another state now shortly after we broke up. She has no way to really be curious or go on my page to see what I'm up to at all. Will the curious stage still apply? Or is it more like out of sight out of mind?
Sorry for your break up. Remember we are all energy and you still pining over her wondering if she is a particular phase can be felt by Dumper. Your true absence. Physically energetically mentally is felt. Use NC instead to heal grow transform RE appreciate how amazing you are . Find new hobbies routine health routines REDIRECT YOUR ENERGY ON YOU HEALING AND LIVING YOIRE BEST LIFE NOT A STAND BY LIFE. WHEN YOU. BEGIN TO TRULY MOVE ON THEN THEY WILL SHOW UP
And maybe it’s time you do start a social media page and begins showing the great life you’re having. Dumpers expect you to never change grow move on or do anything different t but worry about them.
Want a different result?? You must do things different
Even the most external presented people will realise that they haven’t heard from you… and most likely are desperate for ego to be fed when she realises that you’re not following nor reacting to her social media update crap. Good luck ❤
what happens when you go through all this a second time round with the same person? i went through the whole process 6 months ago and took her back after a couple of months being apart. we went on 2 vacations abroad together for her to do the exact same thing again 🤦🏾♂️i already know the answer and i find it weird going through this again. this time, though, there's no going back for me personally.
She blocked me on everything after I did no contact after couple days over the weekend….
Crazy she’s gone ghost I don’t know what this means we love each other and we’re only not together due to her farther and family 😢
The last few minutes of this video of when the person realizes that you don't care and if you decide to take them back reminds me of lyrics to "Under My Thumb" by The Rolling Stones. 🤔
My ex is going crazy that I have not responded . Nope I deleted my whatts app. It’s hard but needed to be done.