Is The Breakup My Fault?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- Is the Breakup My Fault? Breaking up is never easy, and it's natural to seek answers and closure when a relationship ends. In this episode, Rory explores the importance of acknowledging one's role in the dissolution of a partnership. Genuine growth and self-awareness come from owning our mistakes and learning from them.
Join our breakup support Discord: / discord
Get Coaching Here: www.TheLoveCha...
Rory's Livestream: / hir0ry
Thank you for being a part of The Love Chat family. We're here to listen, understand, and guide you on your quest for love and happiness.
With love and compassion,
The Love Chat Team - Навчання та стиль
Back from a long and much needed content break!
Our Discord is once again open to the public - come get support: discord.gg/BpcAekfvcc
Get Coaching Here: www.TheLoveChat.net/Coaching
Rory's Livestream: www.Twitch.tv/HiR0ry
Damn Rory..4 years later, so many lessons learned and still excited to see you post occasionally. My breakup was completely orchestrated by my insecure manipulative behavior. and could’ve been prevented. However I am still grateful it happened bc I would have never worked on myself if it wasn’t for that particular life event. I know exactly what I want from a partner and which things i simply won‘t tolerate. I am still single, yes, but rather happy by myself than miserable in a doomed relationship to please stupid societal expectations.
I‘ve said it many times before but again: your help saved me in so many ways and i‘ll forever be grateful for that. Thank you, really. ❤
Single and happy beats together and miserable! I’m so glad you’re putting your needs first!!
We were almost 4 years together, I suffered from depression and the last few months I was on substance abuse, never cheated, never used aggression, I just took her for granted and in my darkest moments I made her feel unwanted (thing that she was constantly reminding me of) I was already on therapy for almost a year, however, I admit that I was hiding the substance abuse even from my therapist. I feel like I screwed up and she ended up building resentment towards me.
The guilt have been eating me for the past 2 months since the breakup.
My Status: going to therapy every 10 days and doing a lot of soul search work and rehab.
How r u doing now?
No, I didn't click this video because of the breakup, I clicked this video because I MISSED YOUUU Rory :') ❤ You're suchaaaaaaa BIGGGGG BLESSING FOR THE HUMANITY...I swear❤ I've been watching you since 2019 when my ex broke up with and I was devasted as hell. Probably was half dead at that point lol A big fat thanks to youuu for making me out of that crazy mess and to help me get FULLY RECOVERED. ❤❤❤ Love ya ❤
Ps: Those who are wondering if my ex reached out...Yes, he did. After 10 months, he was breadcrumbing me by viewing my stories, However, I ignored and then after 1 year, he couldn't resist the silence and reached out to me THRICE, begging to take him back. I still remember how desperate he was sounding on the call, full of anxiety haha... but guess what?? I REJECTED HIM....❤ He can now fuck off hahaha!! Now I am in a happy healthy relationship with someone else whereas my ex is still stalking me and wishing things could get back the way they were. Haha sorry bud TOO LATE!!!!! 🤣
TRUST ME GUYS, RORY IS A GEM, A BIG LEGEND.... ❤❤❤
Haha! Loved this comment. I hope you’re doing amazing!
Mine was. I jumped to conclusions from past trauma. We started hanging out again, but he’s moved on. I want to tell him how I feel, but he has someone and I have to respect that
Negligence and complacency killed my 5-year relationship with my finace. And she did bottle it up for a long time. Her friend said that she had been extraordinarly unhappy for a long time. I have acknowledged and apologized for my flaws and how that I didnt know how unhappy she was. Then I begged and pleaded and just overall had a seriously weak and emotinal reaction to the break up. Then I got blocked everywhere, and was told to leave her alone that she didnt want me in her life anymore. Its been 2 months and boy do I seriously feel like a fkk up 😂.
Hang in there dude. Things always get better.
how are you feeling now? im 1.5 months in from being a dumpee because of mistakes i made and i feel like a fuck up as well
Rory’s face!!! ❤❤❤ long time listener, your voice was the calm during rough storms ❤ healed and happy to see you well!!!
Thank you so much !!
Hey Rory!! I’m happy to see the face of one of the people that has truly blessed my life ❤
I’m so glad I could be a positive impact!!
The man behind the channel that helped me 2 years ago.
Glad to have helped!
My exact though too !
I'm literally struggling with this right now this video was right on time. ❤
Rebecca - I am very glad to help! Be well. :)
Trying! I have a session with you soon!
Glad seeing your face man. You helped some years ago durung my break-up a lot. Thanks so much!
Happy to help! I’m so glad I was able to help you. :)
Early congratulations on your new credentials. Much respect, Rory.
Much appreciated! I hope you are well!!
I clicked on it because I've missed your vids and look forward to your pearls of wisdom. Good to see you, Rory 🖤
Welcome back, Nikki! I’m just coming back to UA-cam! Thank as always for your support!!
Great to see new content again! These were one of the many questions that were going through my head especially during the first few weeks since the breakup. I'm extremely grateful for having my two coaching sessions with Rory. He really helped me clear things out and made sure that my game plan on grieving the breakup was the right one especially when I got blocked just 3 weeks into NC. Thank you for both the initial and follow up sessions Rory, I'm really grateful for what you do.
I really appreciate your comment! I'm glad to hear things are going well!!
@@TheLoveChat It is! And one thing I also appreciate is you killing any hope I had with getting back with my ex, sometimes people like us need the reality check and fully embrace on the personal growth for ourselves only. I'm currently about to enter month 2 and so far I'm doing everything that I can do to keep pushing through the day
I have missed you Rory…. Welcome back
Thank you very much!!
Hey Rory, I found you during your break so its awesome to see you posting again. Your videos have helped a lot, I've been going to the gym, working on myself, I very aware of what I did wrong and what we could've done mutually. I am struggling with however completing deleting her off my phone/social media/etc. I recently saw from a mutual friend that she went out with her ex and a group of friends to an amusement park and I feel like after that I've been set back a bit mentally. We were together for >6months and she was with her ex for 1 month yet it hurts to see how quickly she reconvened with him. I've been on complete no contact ever since we broke up for about 30-40 days. I know its a short relationship but its been very difficult, any advice?
I know how hard it can seem - but removing her from social media will do WONDERS for your mental health! Don't forget to rely on the community - we are here to help you. Don't forget to journal regularly! I found it to be incredibly helpful for my own personal healing. Here is our discord if you want in: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
Holy shit is this real! UR BACK???
Welcome back Legend!
Thank you very much!!
It's been a while. Nice to hear from you again!
Hi Dawn! I hope everything is going well!!
Yayyy, Rory is back with another fabulous video. I had started to almost miss your presence. Hope you're doing well❤
Thank you! You too! Discord is back open as well: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
Rory, I've missed you. I was seriously thinking about a week ago that I hadn't seen any videos from you for quite a while.
Thank you!! More to come!
Hi Rory. I wish I could have found your channel sooner. You helped me a lot during the toughest time of my life up to now.
To summarize my situation, we had a 6 years relationship together since we’re 16. Over time I lost my attractiveness due to many factors, and she felt hopeless about the situation so she decided to break up with me. Now she’s in a rebound.
Guys, no contact DID work. 1 month in the break up and literally 1 day of no-contact, she texted me and say she still wanna talk to me. I responded and told her to respect NC (of course bcuz she’s still with her rebound). After that I make sure to tell her to text me if she changes her mind. She agreed.
Gonna keep update the situation. I felt so much more confident today. Thank you Rory once again
Hello, what happened after that?
Congrats on the new title Rory! Marriage and Family therapy ❤
I click this video coz I see u first first time, after listening for over 2 years, so its u 😊😊
Welcome back my friend ❤️ i missed you🥹
Glad you're back, Rory!
Thank you very much!
I totally agree on the part that "They sometimes don't know why they breakup".
It's been 8 months since the breakup. I've come across with her in the very first social platform, which we've met after the breakup. She was doing several live streams.
On different occasions during this breakup, here were her statements:
1. Oh, I've broken up because it was a long distance, and y'all know LDR sucks.
2. I think I've broken up because I'm not a jealous person, and my ex wanted me to be jealous.
3. No one understands me, including my ex. He kept saying he understands but he never did. He never gave me space whenever I asked ( it was a total bullshit btw, as in a 3-year relationship). I've given her space nearly 4-5 times.
Then, finally, she took the LDR into a more far LDR by moving to another country.
I'm over her now as it has been 8 months. We had limited interaction in the first 4 months because of a business.
And that's it, no absolute contact since 3 and half months (plus I'm blocked everywhere on top)😂
I also agree with scenario 2 because Rory, you're right.
I've put her on a pedestal and made her the centre of my world.
I've made many mistakes, as you've stated, but I can't say it was all my fault.
When someone wants to leave, they'll always find a reason and excuse. Thanks for the lovely videos... we've missed your videos. ❤❤
Im pretty sure it was for me. If i wasn’t so needy due to past issues everything would have been fine. He was perfect for me in every way, and I think I messed it up
Good to see you brother, and congratulations on your new credentials.
Very very much appreciated!
Good to see you back :)
Insecurities on my part, codependency, and just seeked validation from my former partner. Got blamed for everything in the relationship, them saying it was "one sided" and that I never loved them as much qs they loved me. They told me to "fix myself" ouch.. Havent heard from them in 5 months, completely blocked on everything, and theyre seeing someone- i think this person has moved on. I havent.
HEY YOU"RE BACK!
I clicked on it not because of a breakup but because it's been a minute dude! Where have you been?!
Back in action here and on Twitch.tv/HiR0ry (we changed the name) my friend! How are you??
@@TheLoveChat I’m good! In a new relationship, doing the things I gotta do to stay happy, watching your vids, the usual.
@@syphee I hope the relationship is an amazing one!!
It was, my insecurities pushed her away and it’s been more than 10 months without any word from her, I bumped into her a month ago and while she felt still emotionally attached in the sense all she could do was tell me what she’s been up to (I barley got a word in) I’m sure she’s moved on. It’s been tough and I have no idea how to move forward since she’s in the same community I’m in, I feel like I can’t try anything new because she’s always gonna be in the community I want to involve myself in. It used to be my community but after taking a break from working she’s planted herself in the university and most of everyone I knew have left, I feel stuck and trapped in this breakup. All I want for her is to acknowledge how much I cared for her and was her only friend when she didn’t have any (now she has so many friends and I ironically have none) I wish she didn’t take me for granted, I’m labeled as the bad guy here and I can’t move on from that fact.
Insecurities absolutely can break relationships up! If you need more support our Discord is open again: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
Dope video man, but if I could request/suggest something, pleeeeeease rise the over all volume on these videos a tad lol would greatly appreciate it 🙏
Noted! I actually lowered this one because it was peaking constantly on my editing software. I'll raise them up some more. :)
Hey Rory welcome back!
Was just reading your book over again. Great timing!
Unfortunately just this week I managed to sink the ship :(
And had been doing a lot improvements lately - hit the gym, running and cardio, dropped by 30kg. Started CBT and that programme Calm that you had suggested. Almost quit smoking...
Then I went through a bad patch these past three weeks. My dog died, a very close friend died - and we had been supporting each other during these six months, and I've been telling myself for an entire week if only I had tried that little bit harder.
Then this weekend me and a friend went to grab a bite after training, and there was this table full of idiots who started making fun of my friend.
When I went up to speak to them, they apparently knew my ex and a guy friend of hers, and they started making fun of me as well.
And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Left a short message on facebook and sent her a text.
But apparently they were just talking shit, and she got mad and blocked me.
*Sighs* all that work and effort wasted.
Not wasted! Just a setback. I'm glad to hear all the improvements you have been making and i'm sorry for your loss! If you're looking for more support we have opened our Discord Community. Here is the link: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
Nice seeing your face 😊
Thank you! 😃
Had been a fat minute Rory !
We're back at it my friend! I needed a long break + school and other life stuff. Discord is back open if you want in: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
I don't know if you remember me . We had a 1:1 back in June. So my ex got back with her ex and got married. That, was that.
How about all the scenarios at the same time? Pretty accurate for me, minus any infidelity.
yoooooowwwwwww you are showing yourself now?! :D
I've been showing myself for awhile - but I took a long break from UA-cam. Now we are back here and on Twitch! (www.Twitch.tv/HiR0ry) where I do a call-in relationship advice show.
@@TheLoveChat Dude, I have spend so many hours listening to your voice back in the day. I cant thank you enough. And to everyone listening to you right now? Things will get better, trust the process, and take Rory's advice, even if you don't always manage to follow up on it. And whatever you do, DONT CONTACT YOUR EX ;)
Hey Rory, thanks for the videos.
I was dumped because of my problems with Alcohol and blacking out more times then I care to admit. I’m now sober and clean for over 2 months and attend AA daiky, been in the gym everyday and seeing a therapist weekly. My question to you is in this situation do you still employ no contact or do you break it?!
Hey did you reach out to her or him?
where have you been man we missed your presence!
Took a looong break, but we are back at it!
Can you do a new rebound/monkey branch video? My ex reached out but still with the partner. She dont want to "lose me"
Sure can. Here is a link to the Discord if you want to give more context: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
❤we mizzzz you Rory😁
I’m back!!
All I got was that she lost the spark.
Hi. My ex broke up with me because we were arguing too much. To some extent I agree with her, I was immature at times. we are now long-distance and have had no contact for 20 days. I' 'll go back to my home country in 2 weeks. Do you think I should reach out to her to meet up? maybe talk it out and try again in the future? Or should I do no contact until she reaches out? Thank you, please let me know.
Missed ya so much! Are you still streaming!
Coming back to it regularly! www.Twitch.tv/HiR0ry !
Welcome back, Rory! I myself have been waiting for new uploads from you. Currently my bf said we should put the marriage visa on hold (he's from Germany, me from the Philippines) and that really hurt me a lot, to a point that I broke it off with him. He said that he thinks we shouldnt get married yet since 1) I always break up with him/start an unnecessary fight 2) I still havent lost weight 3) I still havent learned his language. I am so anxious right now, he told me he didnt break up but rather putting me on hold. which means I will have to wait til next year for his decision. I dont want to be in an LDR anymore :( and I also dont want to rush into marriage but i cant be away from him anymore. he just got back home from visiting me here in the PH for 1 month (June). Should I wait for him to tll me next year if we should still apply for the visa? I really need your help, please?
Hi there! There is a lot going on in this situation. It sounds like he's trying to create distance and push you away with some of these comments. Without knowing more about your situation it's hard to say for sure. Using only what you've written I wouldn't go back to this relationship personally. Come tell us more here: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
i was just browsing rory's videos and reading the comments randomly because rory's videos helped me a lot when i was going through a breakup a few years ago with my ex-bf who is also german (fellow filipina here too btw!). i just wanna say that if it doesn't work out, trust me that you'll find someone who is better :D
@@Annes.Archives hahaha it really didnt worked out! But yes, Im healing now and I hope to find someone who will treat me better ❤️ thank u for ur kind words, it meant a lot!
Would u do this through a letter if you've been on no contact for 1 month
What if it was mostly your fault with insecurities but could have communicated better or worked better in that in the relationship & now you take accountability work on things give them time then now we are communicating again but she says she’s still not ready to meet up yet to talk? I’ve expressed everything like you say in the video to her & I am not overbearing when we are talking now but she still says she needs time before we can talk in person.
Part of accountability is understanding we don't control them. We have to respect the fact that they may not be ready to talk. Desire and receptivity are a HUGE part of reconciliation - we can't shove a reconciliation down their throat, ya know? If you're looking for more support we have opened our Discord Community. Here is the link: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS
YOOOOOOOOO good to see you active again over here on YT Rory! Hope all is well you, man!
I'm back at it! Hope you're well!!
Rory its been a little over 2 months and im trying so hard to get to a better spot mentally. I got a new job, ive lost weight and eat healthier, i have reestablished some friendships. I miss her so much. Its a struggle to not reach out to her. My dad said i should write a letter because when she dumped me, she wrote me a letter. I wrote one but i never sent it. Is your email still open?
I don't do email coaching anymore but we offer free support on our community discord - I also answer questions for free on Twitch! Here is the link: discord.gg/KUCeXX3uzS & www.Twitch.tv/HiR0ry
Heeey rory!
What happened to the twitch channel?
Hi Loubna!! How have you been? It's here: www.Twitch.tv/HiR0ry !
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST RORY LETS GOO!!🎉🎉🎉
Haha! Thank you for all the hype!!
@@TheLoveChat Of course. It’s a big deal I’m proud of you🥳