Entitled Ruthless Narcissists Will Go Crazy IF You Do These 8 Things

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  • Опубліковано 15 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 612

  • @shellyfilippi
    @shellyfilippi Рік тому +264

    The biggest way to hurt a narcissist as not to give a damn. Laugh in their face

    • @tammystours5171
      @tammystours5171 Рік тому +30

      YES!! Laughing is a POWERFUL weapon!! My ex narc had been stripped of so much power, the final blow was him trying to upset me via email, and all I did was laugh at him because it was soooo ridiculous and obvious! He said we should take a break through the summer..some months later he tried to hoover and was ignored! GAME OVER! Lol.. it was so great to end the nightmare on a high note for myself! I definitely deserved it after 8 years of insanity and not knowing what I was dealing with! So glad this education is out there for all the beautiful people now!

    • @shellyfilippi
      @shellyfilippi Рік тому +7

      @@tammystours5171 God bless

    • @anneaires3984
      @anneaires3984 Рік тому +12

      God did not bless us with a " sense of humor" for nothing.....for me, it's a defense mechanism to keep me in the sanity lane! Amen to your reply!!!!! I'd much rather shake my head with a chuckle than roll up in a ball and bawl....spent too many years doing the latter! Stay strong and keep the grin going!!!!! 😊😀

    • @tammystours5171
      @tammystours5171 Рік тому +3

      @@anneaires3984 amen! 🙏 and God Bless!

    • @anneaires3984
      @anneaires3984 Рік тому +1

      @@tammystours5171 right back atcha!!!!🙏❤️

  • @staceys173
    @staceys173 Рік тому +36

    CHOOSE YOURSELF.

    • @userSTAR3330
      @userSTAR3330 4 місяці тому

      🛑✝️🙏🏾AMEN N AMEN. EVERYTIME....N ALL THE TIME. NOBODY CARES ABOUT THEM OR LIKES THEM. 🛑✝️LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT THEM. LIFE IS AWESOME BEFORE THEM. NOBODY LIKES THEM. DESPERATE N I KNOW I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEM AT ALL. THEY SHOULD GO N BE WITH THEIR IWN KIND. 🛑🛑🛑✝️🛑🛑🛑🙏🏾WHATEVER.....🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEM AT ALL...... 🛑✝️🙏🏾 🛑NO CONTACT🛑✝️😊😂😅😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇✝️🛑👹👺👹👺👺👺👹👹👹👹🛑🛑🛑🛑✝️🆗🛑😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

  • @robinchilds7492
    @robinchilds7492 11 місяців тому +27

    The narcissist feels entitled to say and do whatever they want.

  • @dclaet1135
    @dclaet1135 Рік тому +100

    The best thing to do is stay far away from these demented souls. Avoid any games, retaliation, or contact. They are poison.

  • @kimberlygabaldon3260
    @kimberlygabaldon3260 2 роки тому +368

    "Don't internalize their verbal abuse." Thank you! That's the one I needed to hear!

    • @WellnesspodcastTV
      @WellnesspodcastTV 2 роки тому +29

      This takes time and involves developing a self protective mindset. But once you have reached that level of self protection, it becomes very easy to dismiss the narcissist for the worthless demons that they are! I am currently having the last laugh as I pushed all my narcissists into obscurity. Their hoovering, smear campaigns, victimhood, and flying monkeys don't work on me anymore! Anybody with a similar experience? 🤔

    • @Cellia836
      @Cellia836 Рік тому +16

      After they are not the all knowing like they think they are at all. They are not a higher power like they want us to believe. Their opinion of you means nothing at all.

    • @Not-the-usual-BS
      @Not-the-usual-BS Рік тому +3

      😢😢it’s hard not to.. but I’m trying

    • @rozalina531
      @rozalina531 Рік тому +14

      What people project on to you is a reflection of themselves. It's not about you, it's them. 🙏🏻✨️🕊♾️

    • @Cellia836
      @Cellia836 Рік тому +8

      @@rozalina531 yes very true. Two ways to tell how someone really feels about you is. One through anger and two when they are drunk too. They generally always speak the real truth then.

  • @BrookMcduffie
    @BrookMcduffie Рік тому +32

    You may see me struggle, but you will never see me quit.

  • @zoilacolon3204
    @zoilacolon3204 2 роки тому +135

    So true.They hate to be ignored.

  • @evipphotophoto4888
    @evipphotophoto4888 Рік тому +218

    Say NO, stay away, keep the distance, find your own power, find your own value. Let them go. Thank you Kim for every article and video.

    • @RelationshipRefuge
      @RelationshipRefuge  Рік тому +7

      You are most welcome :)

    • @evipphotophoto4888
      @evipphotophoto4888 Рік тому +4

      @@RelationshipRefuge 🙂❤️

    • @mojadah10
      @mojadah10 Рік тому +2

      Easier said than done. When I'm being gaslit, i can't help but argue my point. Even when I know logic means nothing to these evil trolls.

    • @c3909
      @c3909 Рік тому

      @@mojadah10 you'll learn.. give it a time. Be patient with yourself 🙂😉

    • @jennyhernandez690
      @jennyhernandez690 Рік тому +1

      SAY, “Stay Away From Me!”

  • @dorothygustave4271
    @dorothygustave4271 Рік тому +76

    Being with a narcissist is like being with a mentally and emotionally ill, manipulative, overlord that you're expecting to actually feel any empathy for anyone except themselves. That people still get with or stay with a narcissists is beyond me. It's like being an emotional masochist.

    • @ganymeade5151
      @ganymeade5151 Рік тому +7

      Absolutely. Some people want to be abused. Others consider difficult relationships a challenge. Others think their abuser will change. Narcissists never change. Those who are around them must change. Wise Old Saying: It is better to be alone than with a bad person. It is better to have few friends than lots of bad ones.

    • @amarbyrd2520
      @amarbyrd2520 Рік тому +3

      "That people still get with or stay with a narcissists is beyond me. " Sometimes when people have a narcissistic elder who's been stealing their money (and other resources like time & energy) this whole time -- if you haven't been through it, maybe ask those who you know are going through it how you can help them

    • @cristinatheodoru228
      @cristinatheodoru228 Рік тому +3

      Learned powerlessness comes to mind, and it works like this: parent/ parents did it to me, grandparents to parents, great great parents to great parents... you get the idea. Then I can take one of the many available ways: I can become a narcisist myself, I'm primed by my trauma to seek, accept, and stay in a he'll on earth relationship, or I get myself acquainted with the process and stop the ball right here, right now.

    • @jennatrask4582
      @jennatrask4582 Рік тому +2

      I have been there and your comment makes me laugh so thank you for summarizing it so well!!!!

  • @Kelly-sl6vz
    @Kelly-sl6vz Рік тому +310

    What I can’t wrap my head around is why these people want to hurt other people, especially the people who are good to them!!

    • @TisDana
      @TisDana Рік тому +34

      Hurt people hurt people

    • @eurokay4755
      @eurokay4755 Рік тому +70

      1. You don't need to understand a tornado; you just need to know where it is.
      2. People do what works for them; that's why they hurt others. They know exactly what they're doing. They don't abuse people who they know will spend zero time trying to understand (excuse) their abuse before walking away.

    • @Innocent_Villain
      @Innocent_Villain Рік тому +35

      To a certain mindset, people are all strategic opponents and hurting them is like winning a game, even if the other person doesn't have that mindset and isn't trying to defeat them. Like a parent who gets a childish sense of triumph from making a kid cry. An obsession with the idea of competition and "superiority", like "your distress means you lost and that means I won, and the more you hate it the more that proves in my mind that I am right and I'm better than you".

    • @dotsyjmaher
      @dotsyjmaher Рік тому +15

      @@TisDana NO.....THAT IS A TOXIC MYTH...

    • @barrybleich3455
      @barrybleich3455 Рік тому +22

      Because their sick.

  • @garycordle5295
    @garycordle5295 2 роки тому +416

    Observe don't absorb and don't play with the pig's 🐷 you'll get dirty everytime.

  • @juliaj.6543
    @juliaj.6543 Рік тому +6

    .... leaving the monster .... .... results in ultimate independent freedom and happiness !!!

  • @Lucida1818
    @Lucida1818 2 роки тому +15

    I’m no longer in touch with any of them
    No Contact

  • @sheilaestrada4361
    @sheilaestrada4361 Рік тому +56

    Don’t engage, don’t react or jump to their demands, give honest responses when they try to gaslight you show them a mirror “ wow you have a negative opinion on other people “ “ you really like to be mean ” .. whatever they are doing point it out and walk away.

    • @SLS64
      @SLS64 Рік тому +12

      It's a waste of time pointing it out ,and it gives them a supply hit Less said the better.

    • @rondasparks
      @rondasparks Рік тому +2

      Yes ! Do not give in to them, do not react to them, do not do anything nice for them! Do not show that you are angry at all because they will just keep on until you blow !

    • @davidlafleche1142
      @davidlafleche1142 Рік тому +1

      Actually, you're better off just saying "No" and nothing else. You can have a million logical reasons to say "No," but you're talking to a wall. A narcissist will NEVER accept your reasons.

  • @ANDROID697
    @ANDROID697 Рік тому +46

    Let them feel the presence of your absence. 😎

    • @PiciPot
      @PiciPot Місяць тому

      If your presence never mattered, your absence will not be noted.

  • @shellyfilippi
    @shellyfilippi Рік тому +61

    Expose them. They are never sorry. You let them back they will finish you. No way!

    • @nijaj9157
      @nijaj9157 Рік тому +6

      I wish I knew about narcissism before. My soon to be ex admitted that he was saving his image after we got back together because I asked why he begged me to come back and apologized all (what he did and even acknowledged something that he used to deny) if you wanna be the same man and no change. He showed me his true face after I was pregnant his second baby. I went back because we had a child together and he promised to go to a therapy.( I thought that he was struggling with anger issues because he used to get mad at me if I refuse to do some demands that seem to be inappropriate to me. Example, to tell me to go to backseat from the front seat of the car when my son cries at the back while the car is running. He refused to pull over which seems ok to me. He is like you are a bad wife you don’t to do what I tell you to do. The scream and yelling I can’t talk about it. It was crazy. It was like this everyday over little things like I don’t have my own opinion. I left him, separated for two years not living with him. He finally admitted his mistakes and I was happy that he acknowledged his wrongdoing and apologized and that he wanted to change because I wanted my son to see his dad everyday. Once I was pregnant again with second baby, I was told to change myself and accept him as he is. He didn’t wanna change because all the change for the last year before I came back was saving his image as he said. He told me if I leave again, my family or people who know us will think the problem is me not him. I am venting here because no one understands what I am going through right now. I stopped giving him a reaction but still he yells over little things. He yelled at me last night night over marker on the walls in my son’s room. When I told him it’s midnight, and our son is still a small child, he kept talking and demanding that I have to clean it by tomorrow night. I didn’t talk to him and left him while he was talking.
      I can’t simply leave now but planning to leave.

    • @shellyfilippi
      @shellyfilippi Рік тому +3

      @@nijaj9157 I pray for your peace that is well deserved. You'll never be happy for you got sick from. He's too immature for you and you need somebody better than that. Continue to pray because God is the only one that will help you through this besides people that you could trust. Please be careful with those were close to him because they will be his watchers and it's flying monkeys plan on something and exiting immediately and quickly I pray to God you find peace wherever you may go with your children. Continue to pray to God because he's listening to you. God sees you. May the Almighty GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

    • @ronpflugrath2712
      @ronpflugrath2712 Рік тому +1

      The children can get played by them you may find down the road. They suck as employers lie cheat and screw their help

  • @soldier_of_love
    @soldier_of_love Рік тому +32

    Omg the narcissist rage is over the top. 😌 They'll do anything to get your attention back. I accepted a car regrettably. I gave it back and he was there left with no more tricks😆

  • @karishort1891
    @karishort1891 2 роки тому +200

    My relationship with my ex narcissist was like fighting over toys with a 3 year old boy. It was maddening and I'm so grateful I finally left and am FREE 🙏 This is a great video! Very informative!!

    • @RelationshipRefuge
      @RelationshipRefuge  2 роки тому +11

      I'm so glad you're free, too, Kari :) Thanks for being here!

    • @renec.4803
      @renec.4803 Рік тому +3

      That’s funny 😂

    • @michaeldingman9029
      @michaeldingman9029 Рік тому +8

      The FEMALE NARCISSIST that I was
      Involved with seem to Always act like a very LITTLE CHILD, THINKING that She was Super Entitled to GET or Receive from different people *( and myself included )* to have Many Material Items, that the People
      & I *( Myself )* could never Supply for her to have for her Full Complete Source of NEEDS / What a Nightmare!!. I am truly Thankful that I have GOTTEN OUT Finally NOW.

    • @MaryStirland-zg6cq
      @MaryStirland-zg6cq Рік тому +1

      😊😅😅😊😊😅😊😅😅😊😅😊

    • @evitamaja0318
      @evitamaja0318 Рік тому +5

      That's exactly what arguing with a narcissist is like...might as well be a toddler. Just don't. Don't bother wasting time.

  • @pam8962
    @pam8962 Рік тому +12

    They truly don't care

  • @FM-gv4yl
    @FM-gv4yl 2 роки тому +175

    Forgive yourself and never look back ! Extremly helpful piece of advice Thank You

  • @blueberrypie3452
    @blueberrypie3452 Рік тому +112

    Best way to deal with a narcissist is to walk away and ghost them

    • @KathyJewell-m6p
      @KathyJewell-m6p Рік тому +6

      That’s what I did

    • @reneehyslip4549
      @reneehyslip4549 Рік тому +1

      I did this .. have either one of yours Hoovered you? Mine is self entitled and has ego.

    • @realtalk4994
      @realtalk4994 Рік тому +2

      If you find yourself in a situation you can't easily get away from though, the #1 thing to do is minimize the damage they can do to you. Act in ways you know can't be twisted, watch out for their attempts to hoover or belittle or dig, and show complete disinterest. You don't have to react rude or negatively, just bored. If you do this, they will also get bored because they aren't getting a reaction.

    • @Beautifulsoul4041
      @Beautifulsoul4041 Рік тому +2

      Best advice

    • @linalg10
      @linalg10 4 місяці тому +2

      That’s what I did through reverse discard. I wish I would’ve left before giving them the upper hand by provoking me. Even though I left - they still get to take credit as - they get to say they caused me to leave.🤦🏾‍♂️

  • @LilTrunksFr
    @LilTrunksFr Рік тому +22

    Truth 💯 no longer their puppet. Reject them. They make you sick literally

  • @Marina-vl6eu
    @Marina-vl6eu 2 роки тому +70

    I took all the presents and gifts he left at my door, my parents house and PO box, but didn t take the hoover. 😁 i think i deserved them in exchange for all the abuse. More than an year of no contact and beggining to feel quite very well. I found the most amazing job (i make good money), still single, but satisfied.

  • @stephaniepiazzese2602
    @stephaniepiazzese2602 Рік тому +27

    I have an open case with adult Protective services. It’s been a real eye opener, renting a room in my home to a young lady who began to take over, and bully me. I know now she is a NPD.
    Just exhausting.

    • @rondasparks
      @rondasparks Рік тому +1

      Hope you evicted her ! If not get eviction papers, fill them out , get them notarized and give them to the JP's office in your area of residence and get her out of there !

  • @pam8962
    @pam8962 Рік тому +8

    Leave them permanently 😊❤

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 3 місяці тому +2

    Live your best life! Ignore the crap out of them

  • @crazycow8049
    @crazycow8049 Рік тому +28

    Hoovered 2 times . The lies , deceit , abuse and silent treatment were quick to come . Can't be bothered any more.

  • @QueenBee-fg1iz
    @QueenBee-fg1iz 2 роки тому +32

    I have done all 8 of them when he hovered me 3 months ago and he has not bothered me since. Finally at peace. 💪🏻

  • @Pfsif
    @Pfsif 2 роки тому +97

    Indifference is nirvana, but you must go through contempt.

    • @drumdad54sdl47
      @drumdad54sdl47 2 роки тому +8

      There is a thin line between the two..

    • @davidjthayer7417
      @davidjthayer7417 Рік тому +7

      Through contempt !! It's brutal when it's your own, and even worse when the narc projects theirs onto you !!!

  • @mikebaguley9092
    @mikebaguley9092 Рік тому +12

    No thank you! I don't drink poison, setting new goals for myself without disruptive influences. Have a fabulous day take care 🕊

  • @heathereagleson1098
    @heathereagleson1098 Рік тому +45

    Not only was a raised by a narcissistic mom, but I’ve been in relationships with a couple narcissists. I’m definitely on to them and some of these I learned myself. Thanks so much for validating my suspicions!

    • @aurora8749
      @aurora8749 Рік тому +3

      Same. I think maybe we recognize the narcissist in serious partners subconsciously and find it comforting because we grew up wifh

  • @glenncowan6669
    @glenncowan6669 3 місяці тому +2

    That's it!! That is what causes you to be confused. They like negative attention far more than positive attention . They like the negative feedback your giving them because it confirms that they are disempowering you .

  • @onur-a-k
    @onur-a-k Рік тому +48

    Be more ruthless than them when you're dealing with them

    • @therealkoolaidandkale
      @therealkoolaidandkale Рік тому +4

      Facts. 😂 Depending on the situation, I insult your ass RIGHT tf back with my petty ass, block you if you're giving me the silent treatment so that you get my silence forever and I am sarcastic or will just plain laugh in their face- probably both at the same damned time- when they start throwing out all of their tactics: guilt, shame, rage, blame, gaslighting.....
      If I haven't left already, I'm naming the tactics as they're throwing them ("Unh-UH..... did he really just try to guilt trip me?! 😂 Oop... there goes the 'rage' with his Pee-Wee Herman- looking-ahhh.") while laughing and probably throwing out a petty "Ya momma". 😩🤣
      They HATE me and I LOVE it. 🙌🏾

    • @cynicalafflictional1725
      @cynicalafflictional1725 Рік тому +2

      ❤❤

    • @michaelspencer3586
      @michaelspencer3586 Рік тому +3

      Yeah. Go ghost mode

  • @pamswantek9142
    @pamswantek9142 Рік тому +5

    Last 9 years have been bad but the last 2.5 got worse then after he had two strokes it became 10 times worse. Neither of his sons would help deal with him. He has been giving his boys everything, hiding martial assets, cashing out life insurance policies,and selling items. I am done they can deal with him. He was a control freak and chased my boys /daughter in-laws, family, and friends away! Only could be with his boys and multiple different girlfriends and one wife.m/ grand daughters. He has been trying to turn it all around on me that I am the one who is nuts. My goodness this video explains it all to me! He has been like a spoiled two year old and he got very mean when I stood up to him and told him to move out!( my place before our marriage 25 years ago). His wonders boys can deal with his crap now.

  • @andreashinsg
    @andreashinsg Рік тому +13

    I needed these... ive been in a rollercoaster in my marriage, he will create a fight, go missing for months, hoovering & love bombing like nothing happened..and repeat over and over again

  • @breakthroughmoment1647
    @breakthroughmoment1647 Рік тому +25

    My covert narcissistic mother is also a rager. Your advice on saying “whatever” and leaving the room or simply leaving the room as they’re speaking, was very helpful! Normally, she’s always the one that does a hit-and-run, “screw you!”

    • @ganymeade5151
      @ganymeade5151 Рік тому +8

      Kind of like a street outlaw type narcissist. Those types rage at other drivers. Terrorize other drivers. Vroom their engines loudly while zooming by; nearly clipping other cars; cut off other drivers, run drivers off the road. Have nasty stickers and sighs on their cars. Roadway Narcissists.

  • @elainesmith5313
    @elainesmith5313 Рік тому +3

    They are never sorry! Don't gas light yourselves. Concentrate on improving yourself. They are on The Cycle Program, which is always predictable.
    I used a calendar to react his new supply and discard. Being vested financially it was not an option to leave. So I educated myself and just watched for years. Refused to leave...consulted with an attorney. Set my boundaries and moved forward. Balked at the Hoovering and no emotions. He eventually employed in 2022. He had contracted a sexual disease and developed cancer...and even with TX did not cure. So he died and I hurried him. Sold the home and property and moved on. I know this sound cold, but I am a very empathic person....with ALOT of compassion for people who are truly hurting. They are Fake and that is something we must realize. It's a SHOW!
    DO NIT GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT
    STARVE THEM!!!

  • @larrybrevelle
    @larrybrevelle Рік тому +11

    Narcissist don’t close the doors on old supply because they create paths of least resistance. Closing the doors mean they cannot come back. However when they need to abandon the new supply they don’t want to work hard to fill the loneliness void. They’re not coming back because they want you back but use people as temporary door mats while the acquire even newer supply. Once that is accomplished be ready for the next devaluation and discard to occur. I was married 24 years and never understood why my narcissistic ex would wash, rinse, and repeat the cycle. Once I started learning about narcissistic abuse the light started shinning in the darkness never to turn off again.

  • @elizabethandiosa4579
    @elizabethandiosa4579 Рік тому +32

    Awesome. So true. Dumping the toxic waste, then levelling up and living in awareness, compassion and safety far away from the abusers is best. I say abusers plural because 99.9% of the time the abuser always has like minded support and enablers. Keep them away from your circle.

    • @cynicalafflictional1725
      @cynicalafflictional1725 Рік тому +4

      So true😅 then they try to twist your words to upset others into a triangulation argument. The bullshit is literally putting words in my mouth and trying to speak for me. But then, people actually meet me and I am nothing like they said, worse for them is that their childish bitterness is the complete opposite of my own personality. It's like night and day, and it's annoying yet obvious behavior.

    • @juliamason8240
      @juliamason8240 4 місяці тому

      Thank 🎉you

  • @amykyns15
    @amykyns15 Рік тому +13

    ‘Consuming someone else’s world’
    Words I’ve been trying to find for how the N can’t just ‘be’ in a room. They have to talk, entertain, prod, poke etc…while I’m watching a movie. 🤯
    ALL.the.time.

    • @lynzannabel6990
      @lynzannabel6990 Рік тому +2

      @Amykins 💕🌸 Exhausting isn't it? Just broke away from the 'N' and I'm loving it. 💜

    • @amykyns15
      @amykyns15 Рік тому +1

      @@lynzannabel6990It is exhausting. Some relief in having words to explain it tho. I’m noticing the ‘consuming’ every where we go. Having to be noticed at some level ALL THE TIME.

  • @joanbaczek2575
    @joanbaczek2575 Рік тому +5

    My narcissist came right out and said “ so you not gonna fight for me?” I was so confused by his random statement now I know why he must have had another supply I was competing against only I didn’t know about it.

  • @rachaelt3294
    @rachaelt3294 Рік тому +11

    Dealing with an in law like this. I now avoid her. After she tried to confuse and hurt my son emotionally, he was only 6 years old, I no longer let my kids stay there.

    • @Fellyx222
      @Fellyx222 9 місяців тому +1

      My younger sister is Narc. My wife is beginning to take notice of her attitudes as well. I will never let my kids have anything with her.
      The way she was going I thought that by now she should have been happily married cos she has loads of friends both male and female. But we can all see how things are faked.
      Let everyone live there lives alone and in peace.

  • @AZDC99
    @AZDC99 2 роки тому +170

    9:40 "Whatever you do, stop telling them that you're ON TO THEM and start showing them!" That's what I started doing at the end. I didn't do it to get them angry, but I'm not going to lie... inadvertently I enjoyed seeing THE STEAM of their NOT SO successfully veiled frustration SCREAMING out of their ears when they could not manipulate me the way that they wanted to anymore. (All with a pathetic fake indifferent MASK for a face from them THEN... When they knew that I KNEW.. that's when their needless battleships started sinking left and right!)

    • @WellnesspodcastTV
      @WellnesspodcastTV 2 роки тому +4

      😂🤣🤣

    • @joshuaanzalone2060
      @joshuaanzalone2060 2 роки тому +25

      Yes when they no longer can manipulate you they go into rage.

    • @ladyllf48
      @ladyllf48 Рік тому +3

      I went no contact, he was good. He texted I'm great n discarded me.

    • @Batya-Grace
      @Batya-Grace Рік тому +3

      Even if she was narcissistic, the fact that you “enjoyed” seeing her steam, is a form of sadism. Check yourself too! She may be narcissistic, but you’re a whole new level of evil. You would have never done that if you loved her and wanted to heal the relationship. I can understand if you say there was no repairing it, but to receive enjoyment with another’s pain is, as I said before, sadistic. It’s good that you can avoid manipulation, but it’s not right to enjoy their pain, because narcissism is rooted in fear of abandonment and insecurities.

    • @zarlodious1
      @zarlodious1 Рік тому +14

      @@Batya-Grace Come on they got joy from ONE punch versus the barrage of beatings the narcs put us through God Himself will throw Satan into the Lake of Fire and we will ALL rejoice not because of our sadism but because the enemy was so terrible.

  • @wmhhealth2018
    @wmhhealth2018 Рік тому +11

    I literally got every one of these correct. I had been in a 3 year relationship with a covert female narcissist from 2018-2021 and was wholly unaware of narcissists. The discard although a co-discard was devastating for me. I did deep shadow work for a year to heal. Fast forward to the fall of 2022 and I met another woman. I was suspicious of her from the get go. I essentially was in observation mode throughout the entanglement. I had learned so much from the previous relationship. Ultimately I rejected her one and only hoover which looked like a discard but was actually a hoover and an attempt to triangulate me against a back burner supply. I accepted the discard and walked away and immediately blocked her. Her fuel matrix has completely collapsed and she is working with only low grade sources many of whom she has little to no interest in now that I'm out of the picture.

  • @gypsyrayne890
    @gypsyrayne890 2 роки тому +15

    This is What I'm going through.
    I didn't want anything to do with this Game.
    Told her I was Done.

  • @carolsanborn5332
    @carolsanborn5332 Рік тому +10

    You made me LOL when you said ," It doesn't make a lick of difference..." It really doesn't. They will only be good for as long as they think they have to on the surface +hide a ton of unacceptable games they are playing just out of your range to want to find out. Know what you're dealing with. They are very hard on your nerves +patience. If I hadn't been trained how to tollerate abuse by sibblings (+be convinced until now that this is how normal relationships work ,- where you give 110% out of love; they give what they think they have to , haggling with you to get the best deal that they think benefits them, out of God knows what motivates them - but it's not love for you ), I wouldn't be able to endure his secret shenanigans. I'm in too deep at 67+yrs old to cut him out of my life completely ( but I insist that we no longer share body fluid contact). Protect yourself survivors, if you want to survive. If they have cheated, there is always the risk that they'll hoover their adultery partner + of course they're not gonna tell you. They may even say they're idiots, but they either don't think they can change or they know it. Regardless of which, they haven't enough integrity to warn you themselves- you must protect yourself +not trust their future faking. They say they can change, but you better count the cost before you trust a pathological liar.

  • @therealkoolaidandkale
    @therealkoolaidandkale Рік тому +3

    Hi, new here. Never seen the video before today, but 8?!!! Girrrl. I've only got ONE: block & delete forever.

  • @reneemellott8612
    @reneemellott8612 Рік тому +12

    Oh my goodness!!! This was soooooo good!!!
    I wish I would’ve had this video to listen to when I was going through my divorce 12 years ago. To this day, memories of being married to the Narcissist haunts me. I am so glad I was able to get out and realize what was going on because I too thought I was going crazy!!
    My goal now is to try and help other people ❤ I hope the right people find these videos and it’s able to help them move on in life!!! God bless whoever is reading this 🙏

  • @dianahummel1874
    @dianahummel1874 Рік тому +6

    Thank you Kim. I have been watching UA-cam videos on this subject for 3 & 1/2 yrs, since my daughter discovered a long term affair of her husband's, with a much younger woman, who was his ex supply, and also married. He had begun his smear campaign on my daughter MONTHS before she ever knew. He told lies about to his mommy ( his #1 lifetime flying monkey), my daughters friends and neighbors, and to this day, my granchildren's teachers. I knew he was a narcissist 20 yrs ago and warned my daughter. He stalked her relentlessly. She eas 20 and he was a 28 yr old divorced police officer with 3 children. He had an affair with a married coworker while 1st wife was prrgnant with their 3rd child. He is the most arrogant, deceitful, manipulative, vengeful, hateful, pathological liar. He is using Parental Alienation tactics on my 4 grandchildren, ages 6, 8, 12, & 15. Pure child abuse. The children are suffering greatly. I intend to send this parryicular video to all of my daughter's ex friends, as it is the most outstanding video I have seen onn this subject.

  • @squizitzithatsitalianforyu4782

    Hamster wheel conversation 😂

  • @mingo2024
    @mingo2024 Рік тому +64

    Do NOT tell them or SHOW them anything! This is extremely dangerous advice. Once you realize, you begin to grayrock and quietly form an escape plan.
    Love your videos. Thank you Kim!

    • @Lavenderrose73
      @Lavenderrose73 Рік тому +5

      She did warn at the beginning not to do that (or any of these) if there has been physical abuse.

    • @colleencarpenter1200
      @colleencarpenter1200 Рік тому +1

      Yes...that's what I had to do

    • @Matt-602
      @Matt-602 Рік тому +1

      Agreed! That's what I did with a former ex-sibling* and a former male friend. In fact, I backslid a few times before I finally did it for good. THERE'S NO LAW THAT SAYS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER THE DOOR OR PHONE (shall they show up unannounced trying to catch you off guard). But, anyway, I instantaneously re-enacted my exit plan. In my case since there was no cohabitation in those instances--I instantly knew it was a time when they tried to sneak in one last devaluation too many on me.
      I didn't even have to think about it by that point.. I thought about it for too long before already and was just ready to go "NO MORE" to them for good.
      Life is so much better on the other side! No more cognitive dissonance which just leads to feelings of self-betrayal

  • @joshuaanzalone2060
    @joshuaanzalone2060 2 роки тому +8

    I'm glad and happy as hell that they will never hoover ever again

  • @michellesmith7104
    @michellesmith7104 Рік тому +3

    This has really made me feel much better. I had to file a protective order on my narcissistic husband who tried to use force entry into my home. Now he’s highly upset and mad. I was feeling sorry for him and didn’t know why.

    • @RelationshipRefuge
      @RelationshipRefuge  Рік тому +2

      It's ridiculous how they do this sort of thing and then get mad when you try to protect yourself. If not for what they've done, you wouldn't be forced to take that kind of action.

  • @tintina2753
    @tintina2753 Рік тому +50

    Thank you, I feel so empowered because I’ve followed almost all these steps and I just got out . The smear campaign is at an all time high but I’m determined to ignore and move on 🙏🏾

  • @deborahfavors6521
    @deborahfavors6521 Рік тому +5

    Thank you so much ... this is the confirmation that I needed to exit stage left. My only regret now is that after I said I needed a break, (started seeing red flags), I let him back in my life after 3 months because I missed him and didn't want to start over with someone new. Unfortunately, he did and so the lies and deceit began. It's time to move on for good.

  • @CynthiaLouwho
    @CynthiaLouwho Рік тому +6

    You have a very calming voice and I truly appreciate that. Thank you.😊

  • @patrickhovanec-zx7gq
    @patrickhovanec-zx7gq 2 місяці тому +1

    They always have new supply in background. They are ,liars cheaters, never hold the accountability.

  • @traci7595
    @traci7595 2 роки тому +16

    I saw this question somewhere that really resonated with me as a woman stuck in a heteronormative relationship with a narcissistic man who refuses to believe he can't "be the exception" when I tell him I am no longer interested in men overall. I've come to know my true self.
    The question I read was:
    "What are you sacrificing through self-preservation?"

  • @aliceroberts1980
    @aliceroberts1980 2 роки тому +57

    My Narcissistic husband is now going to the Doctor actually hunting for something that could be wrong with him and oh they found some abnormalities in his blood I said oh well that’s nice walked away

    • @WandaEnlightened
      @WandaEnlightened 2 роки тому +9

      Hahahaha you are awesome!

    • @WellnesspodcastTV
      @WellnesspodcastTV 2 роки тому +6

      I would have loved to see his face! 😂😀😃

    • @keishafarrell8517
      @keishafarrell8517 2 роки тому +3

      Guess that hit him hard though😬😁

    • @imdeb510
      @imdeb510 2 роки тому +1

      Are you indirectly suggesting you caused him that "abnormality" somehow!?

    • @WellnesspodcastTV
      @WellnesspodcastTV 2 роки тому +6

      @@imdeb510 The narc will probably blame it on her!

  • @WellnesspodcastTV
    @WellnesspodcastTV 2 роки тому +17

    I no longer give a damn about narcissists. They are so furious and I have the last laugh!

  • @sonja0707
    @sonja0707 3 місяці тому +1

    I am also an empath and have active ear. The trauma bonding is dying and so im so fedup that he has not integrity no slef respect and doesnt care how messy it gets he will not get out of my home.im getting so depressed

  • @batteryincorporated
    @batteryincorporated 2 роки тому +52

    This video again came exactly at the right moment in my journey, thank you so much. It’s the second time so I know what to do but it doesn’t make it less hurtful. Thanks to your info (especially) like this you saved me from another pointless rumination session and see the abusers for what they are. You are the true healing OG Kim. Thank you so much ❤

  • @true_riley007
    @true_riley007 Рік тому +17

    if you discover someone is narcissist just don't interact anymore. Don't wist YOUR LIFE!

    • @sonyaspratlin891
      @sonyaspratlin891 5 місяців тому +1

      A lot easier said than done...but I'm getting there! Helps knowing I'm not alone in the loneliness 🙏

    • @ShellyElle
      @ShellyElle 3 місяці тому

      Yeah but it can be tricky bc we know how they are so we have to back out slowly.

  • @pam8962
    @pam8962 Рік тому +6

    Give them absolutely nothing to go on 😅😂😅

  • @kristinheatherstarone6905
    @kristinheatherstarone6905 Рік тому +5

    Petty tyrants- the main character in their own drama show.

  • @NitrosDen
    @NitrosDen Рік тому +16

    My mother is an abusive narcissist and I've tried all of these including articles on toxic parents/grandparents and narcissists. She recently said to me "have you ever heard of elder abuse? Your an elder abuser". She's always trying to turn things around and deflect everything. She tells my family lies to make me look at fault, yet I've always been the outcast, and they only see the side of her that she wants themn to see, and they don't live with her. I started video and audio recording her. because she has also manipulated my autistic daughter. And she always says this stuff with a snide smirk on her face. I can honestly say I hate my mother!

  • @diana0620
    @diana0620 Рік тому +7

    Identical description of my ex bf. Best I've heard describing narcissism

  • @keishafarrell8517
    @keishafarrell8517 2 роки тому +37

    Thank You so much Kim, I NEEDED to hear this today because I'm going through a situation right now with a Narcisstic one, I chose to walk away on 10th Sep 2022, after 6 years. I'm on a journey of healing right now from this day forth, Thank You so much for making this video.

    • @RelationshipRefuge
      @RelationshipRefuge  2 роки тому +5

      You are more than welcome, Keisha! Wishing you all the best and sending hugs :)

  • @Tarotwithcandy
    @Tarotwithcandy 6 місяців тому +2

    Hello Kim Saeed it’s been so long since I’ve tuned to your channel, you’ve given me much help over the years. I’ve been years recovering and healing learning, so thanks so so much and it’s so good to see that you’re still doing your good work it’s much needed and well appreciated so thanks so much Kim.❤❤❤❤

    • @RelationshipRefuge
      @RelationshipRefuge  5 місяців тому +1

      Thank you for your kind words. Sending hugs for your continued healing ❤

  • @sueelliott4793
    @sueelliott4793 Рік тому +13

    Narcassistic abuse does not have to be a partner, in my case it is my adult daughter who I share a rental with. I am out of tears and I will miss my grandchildren but I have to get out and cut her off for my own wellbeing,

    • @thetoast144
      @thetoast144 2 місяці тому

      Same here . Found out today She is the epitome of narcissism. Learned it from the best, her grandma, mom, husband, the deep state, and even her hero Joseph Smith founder of mormonism

    • @cyrillebeaudry4485
      @cyrillebeaudry4485 2 місяці тому

      Im sad for you. Good luck

  • @gherimilanian1603
    @gherimilanian1603 Рік тому +5

    This is tremendous and insightful, Ms. Kim! 👏 I have been married to such an individual for over three decades and have been brought to stagnacy in my life. Thanks for this insightful information. Stay blessed!

  • @bridgesart
    @bridgesart Рік тому +8

    I love your common sense descriptions.

  • @soledadgonzalez7617
    @soledadgonzalez7617 Рік тому +4

    Thanks sooo much !!! It does help me a lot !! I work with a narcissist , I hate it !! She feeds on my hate !! Drives me crazy !! And I do look crazy to me and others !!! I should have no feelings towards a hater narcissist ! I will overcome ! Its not worthy of thinking or any kind of feeling no more ! Really appreciate your advice ! I choose my mental health !!!

  • @emanueltavares353
    @emanueltavares353 2 роки тому +9

    Videos like this, saves peoples lives....

  • @GillianSteele
    @GillianSteele Рік тому +10

    Right on sister. You are spot on! I have dealt with more than my fair share of these manipulative a..holes.

  • @pamblalock8736
    @pamblalock8736 Рік тому +2

    What about when you're adult son emulates his narcissist father. Hoovering, then blaming. Same treatment ?

  • @anniesweetheart6587
    @anniesweetheart6587 Рік тому

    I learned to play a lovely guitar. It filled my attention. I gave joy to people. I had a detail of dressing artistically, to add to a performance. I stayed healthy, to keep my singing breath & strength. I stopped rescuing, treated adults like adults.

  • @dargeo1406
    @dargeo1406 Рік тому +4

    Signed him up for mental help reminders after he tried to reconnect again without any explanation or apology for just disappearing 8years ago. He’s a serious cheater, abusive manipulator. I just want him EXPOSED, so he can’t abuse anyone else. Of course that’s impossible because they are slick…🤷‍♀️

  • @jermanelawrence7400
    @jermanelawrence7400 Рік тому +6

    Empty space (seeking attention to anger u to obsorb ur energy so disgusting 😮

  • @lindablackwell4852
    @lindablackwell4852 Рік тому +1

    Verbally cutting you down and coming back and doing it again.

  • @TC-yx3bs
    @TC-yx3bs Рік тому +17

    this is all very helpful - thank you. i have experienced all of these tactics by them.
    it’s such a nightmare.
    it is hard to get past the instinctive reactions!!! and to get those thoughts out of your head.
    meditation and prayer is helping me detach and return to my truth.

  • @micheleh5169
    @micheleh5169 Рік тому +1

    Thank you so much! I’m 62, my mother is 81. I have lived with what I always considered to be controlling…which seem to go hand in hand with narcissism. You have clarified so much for me! She has the beginning stages of dementia, but still has her wits about her. I recently moved in with her to care for her. Big mistake! The dementia has multiplied the narcissism by 100%. She knows everything to trigger me. I need to begin to make a conscious effort not to react to her manipulation and abuse. She and her ex “boyfriend “ have abused me in every way to the point that I overdosed. I am saving your video so it can help empower me and guide me to be stronger and remember your knowledge and advice. Again thank you so much!! 🤗❤️

  • @deepakmalhotra
    @deepakmalhotra Рік тому +5

    Just found your channel you beautiful soul!❤ thank you so much for helping us! May God always bless you..

  • @sheilablanton4894
    @sheilablanton4894 2 роки тому +12

    Yess this is exactly what they do ..an this is exactly what we should do ...nothing cut off your feelings an them as well...i was with a very vindictive nacrsissic man..they are dangerous...i so much happier sence i discarded him ..they are cowards as well ..my son got wind of how he was treating me..an it was completely over...he ran to tha police even after he had abuse me for years...behind close doors...im so glad HE'S GONE !!!! THANK YOU JESUS !!! ..I FEEL FOR THE NEW SUPPLY..

  • @carolanderson2773
    @carolanderson2773 Рік тому +11

    They will even threaten suicide while hovering.

  • @GhaniSahar
    @GhaniSahar 2 роки тому +17

    Wooow,so powerful tips,total detachment is the final solution to keep oneself safe from entrapping in the vortex of narcissistic abuse,stay cheerful nd blessed Dear Mam,Kim Saeed for ur stunning nd illuminating talking 🤩🌹

  • @greghayes9118
    @greghayes9118 Рік тому +3

    That was a very accurate profile of a narcissist. My ex girlfriend is definitely a narcissist going by this description.

  • @biteynibbles8444
    @biteynibbles8444 Рік тому +5

    Very informative. Thank you. Better than other relationship coachs who often make the viewer feel like something is wrong with us (needy, gullible, too nice, overweight, etc) for loving a narcissist or 2-timer.

  • @visionbishop9517
    @visionbishop9517 Рік тому +1

    That fan blowing is driving me crazy,I cant!!!

  • @octoberdawn1087
    @octoberdawn1087 Рік тому +5

    Here for the pep talk. Thank you!!! 🙏 these are all exactly what is happening

  • @marcrud1250
    @marcrud1250 Рік тому +6

    Described the woman I divorced after 27 years of "marriage" perfectly....

  • @tranquility9325
    @tranquility9325 2 роки тому +23

    You go girl! Yes, yes and yes. Thanks Kim 😊

  • @tiffanymyers639
    @tiffanymyers639 Рік тому

    #3 stop being vulnerable and emotional with them ……. ℹ needed this

  • @katrinamiles7464
    @katrinamiles7464 Рік тому +1

    So glad I found this channel

  • @cynthiarunge4858
    @cynthiarunge4858 Рік тому +15

    If you stay in relationship you keep the door of the devil open on your life

  • @laurieberry162
    @laurieberry162 Рік тому +1

    I don’t know. I don’t want them in my life.

  • @tammystours5171
    @tammystours5171 Рік тому +4

    Excellent vid! Just watch Phil Collins song : I Don’t Care Anymore! SAYS IT ALL!
    Pretty sure Mr Collins crossed paths with one of these pathetic creatures!

  • @traceybiles2061
    @traceybiles2061 Рік тому +7

    They are not only doing this to you thy are doing g it to the rest of the harem garage.

  • @carolineroberts1237
    @carolineroberts1237 Рік тому +1

    Love, love, love, LOVE!! this... Did I say I LOVE this.
    I am so grateful thank you.
    🙏🙏🙏

  • @KimberlyGray-cd3lt
    @KimberlyGray-cd3lt 4 місяці тому +2

    If you notice something off about them,like in there conversation,or they have no reasoning,run most likely they have the traits.