As an INTJ, I depend purely on originality to be "cool," because I've found that any time I try to imitate, it comes off as awkward. Since I'm very quiet, calculating, analytical and deep in thought, I can be seen as "weird," but I have accepted this to the utmost in social settings. When someone decides to talk to me, I usually have something interesting to say that they hadn't thought about- creates its own sort of gravitas. I'm finally at peace with being the mysterious quiet one.
@@knowahnosenothing4862 Yes I think this is precisely it. SF coolness is really easy for NT types to see. but NT coolness is harder for SF types to see. So you end up having this really well crafted personality that only other NT types can appreciate. Maybe NFs too. But S types think you're uncool, and unless you learn how to speak in their language too you never get the appreciation and social status you deserve
I'm still out, this is my last year of teaching and going to get masters somewhere in the EU. Mentally getting ready for winter over here since the nights are long
Everyone has their own kind of beauty in themselves. In my eyes someone is the most beautiful, if they let their own strengths shine through, instead of trying to be something else without good reason. Sensory appearance is not the only thing appealing to me, I just can sense the character... THIS is true beauty. I know, you get to hear this all the time, but I think it's true 🤷♂
I just found your channel this week (YT suggested it after a Frank James video). I'm really enjoying the content. There's not a lot of INTJ-specific information around from actual INTJs. You get us because you ARE us. Not only is your content informative, you're an inspiration that tells us that yes, we INTJs CAN be interesting and entertaining in our own INTJ way.
That spill at the end ❤️ As INTJ I've tried so hard to be cool since primary school and in last class in high school I've understood that being myself make me much cooler. Now, when I'm 29 yo i know that my Se was yelling "YOO, WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, YOU ARE DOING IT SO POORLY, THAT EVERYONE FEEL MUCH AWKWARD THAN YOU", but ofc I was so sure, that i can figure that coolness out and trick everybody just because I want this. As INTJ I know, that we can learn basically everything if we observe something long enougth, yet we forget, that without excercise in reality we know only theory. So for young INTJ's who maybe tryhard to be cool - you are cool already, just embrace that weirdness. And if someone are laught out from you, just do what we are doing the best - STARE XD (English is my second language, so sorry for mistakes)
I personally can confirm that the stare tactic works. At first its weird, but soon after people seem to enjoy THE STARE and all quietness and mystery of it, lol xD
In socionics, functions of INTj -> Ti-Ne-Si-Fe -> the J stands for “Judging” and Ti (just like Te) is a Judging function, not a perceiving one… meanwhile.. in socionics INTp , the P stands for Perceiving, a perceiving function an intuitive like Ni… so INTP really is what you call intj…. Ni - Te - Fi -Se …….. you owe to your subscribers to stop spreading misinformation Ti - concerned with logical consistency Ne -seeing every possible outcome Si - not liking new things Fe- having most problems in the people sphere. It was subtle but it’s time this intj crap nonsense comes to an end
Loved this video! It's funny when we work on an SF thing and then we secretly want someone to notice the hard work and dedication it took to accomplish the goal but in reality, no one cares because it's a basic sensory thing that any SF user can just do effortlessly.
I'm a INTJ and event manager for a major brand. Usually this works great as when I do my job well, no one notices I'm even there - because things just flow. Nonetheless, sometimes I'm need to address everyone as the emcee/host. What I've learned (because it's not natural) is that all things are jazz. Jazz has a structure, tempo and key - but all things within those boundaries are improvised. Basically, when I find myself in one of these situations, I need to identify the structure, tempo and tone needed - then improvise the rest so that it doesn't seem overly impromptu or rehearsed. It's always a thrilling out-of-body experience. A glass of wine would probably help.
Omg, hearing you describe the "I can do that, I can figure this out and nail it" mentality had me laughing out loud. I've done this all my life with all the traits I admire and will never naturally be. I've tried so hard to be extroverted and spontaneous because I adore those qualities in others but I've always felt awkward and wondered why. 😅
30 Years younger me sitting at a banquet table with girlfriend at the time, and her parents, and some other highfalutin folks. I was the epitome of cool as i hacked away on the rawhide they called a porkchop. Then I looked up. All eyes were on me as liquid spilled from everyone's glasses due to my violent attempts at coolness. 🤷♂ Fast forward 30 years. Coolness is out the window. I just try really hard to be myself. I sit at a table, throw my baited line in the conversational pond and see if someone bites. More often than not there's another awkward person looking for connection. 😁
I love your content lijo. You da bomb. One thing that absolutely blows my mind is people who skateboard. I'm in college rn so I see a lot of people skateboarding to class. I can't figure out how they are so comfortable standing on a tiny platform with wheels. It freaks me out.
Haha yes, I totally hear you! I've taken a couple hard falls while rollerblading and I can't imagine tumbling off a skateboard so close to traffic. Makes me sweat just thinking about it
Your channel has helped me so much. Thank you LiJo. You have brought up tons of topics I have overlooked but resonate with the second you bring it up. In regards to peacocking, what I have experienced is if you are able find a "genuine why" in doing something, others will truly admire you when they notice you. Do genuine, don't do peacock. Love your videos. Take care!
I would say that the reason anyone might think I am cool is the same reason people might think I'm weird. Basically, embracing being different and having a lot of varied, deep interests/hobbies. It's better to wrap it in a rehearsed veneer of Fe because even INTJs like being on the receiving end of Fe. But still, recognize that your strengths and weaknesses might be the same thing, depending on who is judging. Don't change yourself, just be polite and find your people in life.
Wait- the story of you realizing one day in middle school that everyone did their hair is exactly what I went through--except even later....at around high school. I always knew that my hair was messy but I never cared and it wasn't on my mind until one day I suddenly realised that it probably impacted how people viewed me and thought about me. I also noticed that people actually put effort into styling themselves, where as I used to just assume that they were just "naturally" like that.
Thanks for another good one Lindsey! When I was younger I sometimes tried to be cool by emphasizing my creative and original side, but it never worked! This was usually quite embarrassing! What worked was staying quiet and learning to better entertain and stimulate myself without expecting much from others.
I don't remember what it was, but I definitely remember peacocking about something I tried really hard to "get" and it definitely came across as weird as the thing was "normal" and "easy" to do. 🙄 I've learned to just say "thank you" even though I really struggle accepting compliments.
I've reached a certain level of coolnes, but that is largely by being detached yet competent. I'm still far from the most popular, but my wit, bluntness, and knowledge has won me some support. :P
Same, bluntness and seemingly spontaneous comments can be so funny. Little do they know my minds been racing this whole time and I only said the last sentence of a long string of thoughts lol
It probably has something to do with the fact I was homeschooled, but I didn’t really have this problem. Since I wasn’t brought up in a public school setting, I never felt pressured to fit in or try to imitate what people viewed as cool. I never tried to be anything other than myself, and I was completely happy being known as the quiet guy (and apparently being a 6 foot tall, 115 lb. guy who doesn’t talk much and also doesn’t make a sound when he walks is intimidating to some people lol).
I feel like I'm always trying new things so I probably come off "peacocky" all the time, lol. So uncomfortable. Interesting topic. Thank you for bringing this to my awareness so I can over analyze my actions even further, lol.
I think that’s normal for INTJs. It’s always seemed like when I deliberately try to peacock it goes down in epic Hindenburg crash style embarrassment and catastrophe. Then at some random moment I do something completely impromptu and unplanned and everyone is utterly amazed that I pulled it off/ survived.🤣 I used to stress and dwell over it up until about age 35. I’m 50 now and I just laugh and DGAF.
I'm 24 and still trying to figure out how to dress and how to style my hair and beard >< oh and sitting comfortably in a restaurant table can also be a struggle sometimes lmao
Oh I've given up on the whole sitting naturally at a restaurant lol. But yes, styles so important, especially as a way to express ourselves when we're completely tongue-tied. For myself at least, I literally wear things I'm interest in, like a frog purse or certain gemstones with fun processes as to how they're created so if all conversation fails, at least we can talk about frogs.
One of my biggest problems with trying to type myself is I'm legally blind. So I'm bad at the sensory by default. It's like ... yeah, I could still be a Sensing type, just disadvantaged. Like I don't spill things often, but when I do is it because I have demon sensing or I just can't f-ing see it? XD It's funny when you think about all the anecdotes that hint to demon sensing - a lot of them could be caused by bad vision and/or sensory processing disabilities. It's like ... well damn. lol
Also, how you talk about life, the world, what's in your mind, is a big indicator of your cognitive process. Are you referencing real life - things you've heard, felt, experienced, or things that are undefined/conceptual?
I'm an INTJ and I think you are very cool. Maybe I prioritise information more, but I respect a more formal approach to things because it shows seriousness and careful consideration.
I noticed that people only see me as a cool person when I let myself be whatever I am at that moment... can be dark, analytical, mysterious with a bit of my ego showing or can be naturally excited over the smallest things and get high on being competitive. I change my persona when I am in different social settings, and when they realize I'm much more than what they thought of me as a whole, they instantly see me as cool, although I just showed them a bit more (not everything - I would never do that to anyone).
As an INFP I didn't see this coming. I'm sure I would pick up on the discomfort, hesitancy to engage in conversation, and flat affect, but may interpret it as irritation, hostility, or having a bad day. I can read others quite well most of the time, but never INTJs. I never think of INTJs as being unable to do anything! So, there's hope for a little interaction after all? Not too much interaction, though. I'm an introvert as well.
Hearing your perspective is always fascinating to me as an ESFP. The middle school epiphany blew my mind. 🤯 I actually had an epiphany in my late 20s that was the reverse of that: I suddenly realized I don't HAVE to style my hair to be seen. Never had I felt so free before then! Now, sometimes I do my hair before going somewhere, but 99% of the time I'm home and all I do is brush it in the morning and scrunchy it when needed (babies, cooking, etc.). Even to go into the public realm, I generally only do a simple but neat bun or braid. 👌 I also recently organized all of my kids' homeschool materials and had to send pictures to someone because I was so excited and proud of myself. 😂 I watched a video of Rose and Catherine this morning, actually. My husband typed me as Catherine's type-twin so I've been watching her as a way to do my NF sleep kind of, like using consume to track my patterns. Lol. So far my main takeaway is that she's more alpha than I am, which is embarrassing because she's younger than I am.
Wow you blew my mind with your realization of the inverse, how you realized you didn't have to do your hair. Hahah that's amazing. I can't say I for sure get it now, and it absolutley has to be a conscious task that I have to "take on" in a sense. Nice on the organization bit! Bet that felt great to finish.
Thank you for putting this into words. I'm trying to get an INTJ female friend into mbti as it would really help her. You've hit the nail on the head with SF Peacocking. Hopefully can have better conversations about it now.
I appear to be talkative and outgoing, so that I could establish network with people. Just because it seems like the thing I need to do to survive for what I do. However, I need plenty of alone time to regroup or recharge for doing that. When I am switched off from that talkative and easy going mode, I am not going out, not socialising, and do not knock on my door.
Fashion. SF peacocking is very obvious with intj through fashion. It's that outfit we think is cool, but it's often so out of place, it's wearing a tuxedo to work, or the trenchcoat with combat boots. We all have done this with the sf in mind.
And this is where a lot of people get turned off by me. Trying to be cool is looking for acceptance, but I realized I had to accept myself first. I don't bother trying to fit in too much these days, I'd rather be with real people who accept me for the real me. I guess we INTJs should realize that we're already cool since people always come to us when they need something (usually answers) anyway.
I hardly learnt my lesson when i was 10 : something very stupid i won't mention involving Se made me think "Hey if that stupid guy can do it i can, because obviously my brain performs better". Two seconds later, worst fail of my short life, but good lesson learnt. Thanks for the great video and the horrible sip at the end !
That's totally it, we can SF but... it takes more time, it's not natural and spontaneous. It will be planned. Like you, thinking about what I'm going to say, and drinking at the same time, can lead to disaster. If I think while I'm eating or drinking, chances are I'll bite my lip, cheek, or tongue. I need extra mental concentration to do well 2 things in same time. Be on Earth, on our body, or be in the space in our mind, we have to choose^^. What ? It is possible to do 2 things perfectly and correctly in same time? I always thought humans couldn't do this. Honestly, I'd rather see an INTJ try SF and be awkward (I find that clumsiness/"peacocking" cute) than see an SF type do it naturally. INTJs who step out of their comfort zone and show their vulnerability, and try to improve them, I really appreciate. I am attracted by the others INTJ.
My first steps to having a career were in retail, and awkward did not begin to describe me back then! I now work in sales, designing kitchens. I have to sit in a room with people for 2-3 hours at a time, and I'm pretty good at it. I think we can be good at anything we want to be good at, but the process probably won't be pretty 😂
LOL my peacocking as an INTJ is that i brag a lot about being able to drive stick shift (manual car), even though i have not done it in almost 3 years and is probably not the best at it😂
As an INTJ that sounded like the least INTJ thing ive ever heard. My need to maximize efficiency would never allow for clumsiness. Not saying im charismatic but those small details you called focus to would never cross my mind
as an intj who was raised in a highly artistic family, from a young age i've adopted this fake it till you make it strategy and attitude towards what i thought was cool, namely charisma, charm and so on. now, going into my 30s, i don't really give a shit about looking cool + that might actually be a part of my charisma.
Hahah I think a lot of INTJs apply this strategy. Ni is confident throwing a dart in a direction where the target "should" be based on other data points that have led us to aim that way. I'm with you, I see more and more how just being comfortable being myself is the most "cool" I can be.
I got a few cool things I can do, im not sure if they count as peacocking but they're pretty unique I can clap extremely loudly, deeply and very high pitched I can go down two steps at a time on any staircase very fast so I can go twice as fast as anyone going down 1 at a time I have a strong grip (not too big a of an ability tbh) i've got some others but these are the main ones that people seem very impressed by intj btw
I remember you saying once that you were working very hard to either do a cartwheel or a handstand i don't remember which. This reminded me of it. How is that coming along?
I hear that. These days I’ve been focusing less on what is cool and more on just being comfortable in whatever situation I’m in. If I’m comfortable I’m more myself which is cool enough I think.
@@InternetLiJo Agreed, also to a certain degree I will say, whatever you are - own it. People mostly respond to someone being genuine and also 'cool' is defined different for various types of people. I'm not saying we shouldn't work to improve the weaker sides of our character, but part of working on them is also accepting them.
True. I witnessed this once from a guy and it was so obvious that they were going thru specific motions purposefully. Unfortunately it was his actual personality that blew his chances (blunt, objectifying out loud).
I sincerely have given up on the concept of being perceived as cool. But being original? Regardless of how strange? I've totally adopted that. Ever since I was a kid, I realized I wasn't going to fit in exactly how I wanted so I settled for what I did best, which was saying things I genuinely was interested in and cracking jokes as I saw them. Half the time they fell flat, and people began perceiving the bad jokes with the good as part of my natural charm. 🤪 It's not even an act anymore, I'm a fully formed dork and frankly I'm the most relaxed when I'm comfortable enough to indulge in my niche interests and tell my plethora of embarrassing stories.
Not working on it. I see no point in being cool. Tried couple of times, it was awkward and I embarrassed myself. It takes too much energy trying to be someone you were never meant to be. Of course we can figure it out, learn, put a mask on and act it out. Is it worth it? Anyhow, it's (sometimes) fascinating to see how natural cool people behave but, analyzing their behavior, I realized it's on the oppositive side of what I want to be. Furthermore, the cooler you are, the more attention you tend to draw on yourself. And this would be a proper nightmare!
"Being cool" has always struck me as superficial nonsense, so I have never had any desire to pursue it. Oddly, though, I attract people who are fascinated by my directness. They tend to be over socialized/programmed people who are conditioned not to speak their minds and not to point out when something is blatantly ridiculous. I am that person saying the emperor has no clothes, and these people seem to love that.
Incredible explanation haha, in middle school I had the same experience, except I used a water fountain to "gel" my hair omfg I remember ppl poking fun about it. And then in college I had emo hair which I loved. It's interesting how our weakness can become something we love pursuing for life though (art/aesthetics in this case?)
From some point really early on in my childhood, for me to be in the spotlight was somewhere near death, so this is like a three or four decade thing for this INTJ. But what the hell does that matter? The boy is just shy. He will grow out of it.
Quick question, does the following resonate with you? I became a software engineer because all of my friends wanted to be djs and actors and I just wanted to be different :)
I honestly just think people see me being myself and must think I look like a real debbie downer. My default from across the room demeanour. I suppose it’s COOL when I do in fact talk to people and I surprise them so much they basically fall off their chair. Hehe. 💥
What type(s) would be like "I could eventually figure out how to plan ahead, get things done, and set & reach goals, but I'd really have to work at it. I wish I could get my ish together and take initiative, step up into leadership rules, be assertive for myself, keep my home clean, and do that whole rat race thing for financial success." I also wish I could see a tangible/physical/mechanical problem and figure out how to fix it, but that's more of a _wouldn't it be nice?_ kind of thing than an _I'm actually going to figure out out_ kind of thing. I assume this is a type with lower Te, but I don't really know.
I do peacock or have been called blunt but that's only when im in a group of people. If someone is being rude or a smartass I'll wait a couple seconds after they speak and tell them what I feel..
I feel like I have the tendency to peacock because I want others to know that I know a great deal about something. I really struggle with reigning it in, because I know I come off as overbearing the moment anyone brings up my "thing."
I actually don't do this. I used to when I was in school I guess, but everyone does in school. I genuinely have zero interest in outside approval, I already know myself to be cool, because I believe I am cool, and my opinion is the only one that matters.
and, yet, in spite of ANY type of thing (or things) that can possibly be construed as 'cool'; perhaps THE ABSOLUTELY COOLEST THING that ANYone can do IS to be ABSOLUTELY UNAPOLOGETICALLY GENUINE. so, THE THING to do IS to just, simply be yourself - whatever that might be. IF other people around you think that youre cool, THEN GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you found your people. if they dont find it cool, then perhaps consider finding other people - OR - other ways to go about doing what you are doing. ABSOLUTELY. FOR SURE. - intj
I hate Peacocking of any sort. I like natural, ego-free, honest ppl. With that ‘I can figure it out’…(true)…now how do I convince others I’m right? 🤔🤔🤔
Aghh FAVORITE.... Well I can tell you my favorite album of all time is probably Sextant - Herbie Hancock. Song... probably Portrait of Tracy by Jaco Pastorius. Aside from being one of the most beautiful songs, it was also one of the pieces that helped me to get my scholarship in collage. Not many 18 year olds playing that piece at the time haha.
@@InternetLiJo you opened my eyes today. I didn’t realize just how heavily and how often Portrait of Tracy was sampled in the hip hop/r&b community. Most famously, I would say, by SWV’s “Rain.” Never a dull moment with you, Lindsay! Also. Surely you mean college?
@@N0URii I mean you can say don't stereotype and think like intellectual, in comparison to other types, INTJs do not peacock, does that mean they never peacock? OFC nah...
In socionics, functions of INTj -> Ti-Ne-Si-Fe -> the J stands for “Judging” and Ti (just like Te) is a Judging function, not a perceiving one… meanwhile.. in socionics INTp , the P stands for Perceiving, a perceiving function an intuitive like Ni… so INTP really is what you call intj…. Ni - Te - Fi -Se …….. you owe to your subscribers to stop spreading misinformations just to your own gain, actually, addressing the fact you’re IN FACT INTP (which would be intj with intp’s functions but thanks to the nonsense manipulations that have been made to Jung’s theory by a logic lacking INFP that only made colourful characters and pushed the inherent tendency in human nature to separate in groups). You should have realised this already. But she preferred to morph reality according to her subjective model of logic and truth
A person with Ti as a first or second function may not be great at giving balanced emotional expression, but the Ti truth will eventually come out and they will likely just let you know :)
As an INTJ, I depend purely on originality to be "cool," because I've found that any time I try to imitate, it comes off as awkward. Since I'm very quiet, calculating, analytical and deep in thought, I can be seen as "weird," but I have accepted this to the utmost in social settings. When someone decides to talk to me, I usually have something interesting to say that they hadn't thought about- creates its own sort of gravitas. I'm finally at peace with being the mysterious quiet one.
I completely agree. Embracing our uniqueness I think is cool and sometimes, rather endearing.
It's lonely at the top? I think it might be a case of some people are too dumb to understand how cool you actually are.
@@knowahnosenothing4862 Yes I think this is precisely it. SF coolness is really easy for NT types to see. but NT coolness is harder for SF types to see. So you end up having this really well crafted personality that only other NT types can appreciate. Maybe NFs too. But S types think you're uncool, and unless you learn how to speak in their language too you never get the appreciation and social status you deserve
"As an INTJ" - always draws the same cringe response, keep larping sperg lol
Me too
Blows my mind when I see someone that is very charismatic and well spoken. I get inspired then I just default in being up in my head
Ah - super relatable. You still out of the US my friend? How are things over there?
I'm still out, this is my last year of teaching and going to get masters somewhere in the EU. Mentally getting ready for winter over here since the nights are long
Everyone has their own kind of beauty in themselves. In my eyes someone is the most beautiful, if they let their own strengths shine through, instead of trying to be something else without good reason. Sensory appearance is not the only thing appealing to me, I just can sense the character... THIS is true beauty.
I know, you get to hear this all the time, but I think it's true 🤷♂
I just found your channel this week (YT suggested it after a Frank James video). I'm really enjoying the content. There's not a lot of INTJ-specific information around from actual INTJs. You get us because you ARE us. Not only is your content informative, you're an inspiration that tells us that yes, we INTJs CAN be interesting and entertaining in our own INTJ way.
Thanks James! Welcome to the channel 😊
That spill at the end ❤️
As INTJ I've tried so hard to be cool since primary school and in last class in high school I've understood that being myself make me much cooler. Now, when I'm 29 yo i know that my Se was yelling "YOO, WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, YOU ARE DOING IT SO POORLY, THAT EVERYONE FEEL MUCH AWKWARD THAN YOU", but ofc I was so sure, that i can figure that coolness out and trick everybody just because I want this. As INTJ I know, that we can learn basically everything if we observe something long enougth, yet we forget, that without excercise in reality we know only theory.
So for young INTJ's who maybe tryhard to be cool - you are cool already, just embrace that weirdness. And if someone are laught out from you, just do what we are doing the best - STARE XD
(English is my second language, so sorry for mistakes)
I personally can confirm that the stare tactic works. At first its weird, but soon after people seem to enjoy THE STARE and all quietness and mystery of it, lol xD
@@delibery366 If someone could handle THE STARE, then it is worthy
Like this might just try it
In socionics, functions of INTj -> Ti-Ne-Si-Fe -> the J stands for “Judging” and Ti (just like Te) is a Judging function, not a perceiving one… meanwhile.. in socionics INTp , the P stands for Perceiving, a perceiving function an intuitive like Ni… so INTP really is what you call intj…. Ni - Te - Fi -Se ……..
you owe to your subscribers to stop spreading misinformation
Ti - concerned with logical consistency
Ne -seeing every possible outcome
Si - not liking new things
Fe- having most problems in the people sphere.
It was subtle but it’s time this intj crap nonsense comes to an end
Loved this video! It's funny when we work on an SF thing and then we secretly want someone to notice the hard work and dedication it took to accomplish the goal but in reality, no one cares because it's a basic sensory thing that any SF user can just do effortlessly.
I'm a INTJ and event manager for a major brand. Usually this works great as when I do my job well, no one notices I'm even there - because things just flow. Nonetheless, sometimes I'm need to address everyone as the emcee/host. What I've learned (because it's not natural) is that all things are jazz. Jazz has a structure, tempo and key - but all things within those boundaries are improvised. Basically, when I find myself in one of these situations, I need to identify the structure, tempo and tone needed - then improvise the rest so that it doesn't seem overly impromptu or rehearsed. It's always a thrilling out-of-body experience. A glass of wine would probably help.
Love the analogy - as someone who played in a jazz big band for 8+ years haha. I absolutely agree.
That’s the most elegant analogy I’ve heard in a long time. I’m gonna steal that for sure!😉
Omg, hearing you describe the "I can do that, I can figure this out and nail it" mentality had me laughing out loud. I've done this all my life with all the traits I admire and will never naturally be. I've tried so hard to be extroverted and spontaneous because I adore those qualities in others but I've always felt awkward and wondered why. 😅
I've found a word "cock" in this video.
I'm impressed. Very good video.
hahah there goes my monetization status 🤣
@@InternetLiJo comments can affect your monetisation status?
I like that butterfly resting on your couch.
30 Years younger me sitting at a banquet table with girlfriend at the time, and her parents, and some other highfalutin folks. I was the epitome of cool as i hacked away on the rawhide they called a porkchop. Then I looked up. All eyes were on me as liquid spilled from everyone's glasses due to my violent attempts at coolness. 🤷♂ Fast forward 30 years. Coolness is out the window. I just try really hard to be myself. I sit at a table, throw my baited line in the conversational pond and see if someone bites. More often than not there's another awkward person looking for connection. 😁
I love your content lijo. You da bomb. One thing that absolutely blows my mind is people who skateboard. I'm in college rn so I see a lot of people skateboarding to class. I can't figure out how they are so comfortable standing on a tiny platform with wheels. It freaks me out.
Haha yes, I totally hear you! I've taken a couple hard falls while rollerblading and I can't imagine tumbling off a skateboard so close to traffic. Makes me sweat just thinking about it
Your channel has helped me so much. Thank you LiJo. You have brought up tons of topics I have overlooked but resonate with the second you bring it up. In regards to peacocking, what I have experienced is if you are able find a "genuine why" in doing something, others will truly admire you when they notice you. Do genuine, don't do peacock. Love your videos. Take care!
Appreciate your kind words - thank you!
I would say that the reason anyone might think I am cool is the same reason people might think I'm weird. Basically, embracing being different and having a lot of varied, deep interests/hobbies. It's better to wrap it in a rehearsed veneer of Fe because even INTJs like being on the receiving end of Fe.
But still, recognize that your strengths and weaknesses might be the same thing, depending on who is judging. Don't change yourself, just be polite and find your people in life.
Wait- the story of you realizing one day in middle school that everyone did their hair is exactly what I went through--except even later....at around high school. I always knew that my hair was messy but I never cared and it wasn't on my mind until one day I suddenly realised that it probably impacted how people viewed me and thought about me. I also noticed that people actually put effort into styling themselves, where as I used to just assume that they were just "naturally" like that.
I'm professional 😎.. at stumbling over myself and spilling drinks🍸 😅
If I hand you something - it will 100% be wet, and neither of us will know why.
🤣
Thanks for another good one Lindsey! When I was younger I sometimes tried to be cool by emphasizing my creative and original side, but it never worked! This was usually quite embarrassing! What worked was staying quiet and learning to better entertain and stimulate myself without expecting much from others.
I don't remember what it was, but I definitely remember peacocking about something I tried really hard to "get" and it definitely came across as weird as the thing was "normal" and "easy" to do. 🙄 I've learned to just say "thank you" even though I really struggle accepting compliments.
Yeah same with the compliments. They make me want to wiggle away and hide.
Well you’re doing a great job, cuz your room & self look awesome! ❤
I've reached a certain level of coolnes, but that is largely by being detached yet competent. I'm still far from the most popular, but my wit, bluntness, and knowledge has won me some support. :P
A bit of wit goes a long way 😊
Same, bluntness and seemingly spontaneous comments can be so funny. Little do they know my minds been racing this whole time and I only said the last sentence of a long string of thoughts lol
It probably has something to do with the fact I was homeschooled, but I didn’t really have this problem. Since I wasn’t brought up in a public school setting, I never felt pressured to fit in or try to imitate what people viewed as cool. I never tried to be anything other than myself, and I was completely happy being known as the quiet guy (and apparently being a 6 foot tall, 115 lb. guy who doesn’t talk much and also doesn’t make a sound when he walks is intimidating to some people lol).
I feel like I'm always trying new things so I probably come off "peacocky" all the time, lol.
So uncomfortable. Interesting topic. Thank you for bringing this to my awareness so I can over analyze my actions even further, lol.
hahahahah ♥️♥️
I think that’s normal for INTJs. It’s always seemed like when I deliberately try to peacock it goes down in epic Hindenburg crash style embarrassment and catastrophe. Then at some random moment I do something completely impromptu and unplanned and everyone is utterly amazed that I pulled it off/ survived.🤣 I used to stress and dwell over it up until about age 35. I’m 50 now and I just laugh and DGAF.
i have been looking for this analysis - this has exceptionally explained a lot about my personality type
I'm 24 and still trying to figure out how to dress and how to style my hair and beard ><
oh and sitting comfortably in a restaurant table can also be a struggle sometimes lmao
Oh I've given up on the whole sitting naturally at a restaurant lol. But yes, styles so important, especially as a way to express ourselves when we're completely tongue-tied. For myself at least, I literally wear things I'm interest in, like a frog purse or certain gemstones with fun processes as to how they're created so if all conversation fails, at least we can talk about frogs.
@@emberflash1641 yes! i also find it to be super important, focusing on the SF makes everything in my life better
@@Magani79 totally! 😁
Really loving the improvements in production. For some reason I feel like I’m being thrown into a Crash Course video.
Lol one of the things on my list I need to get to.
As an INTJ, I have to admit that this information can help ppl who can't understand me easily
One of my biggest problems with trying to type myself is I'm legally blind. So I'm bad at the sensory by default. It's like ... yeah, I could still be a Sensing type, just disadvantaged. Like I don't spill things often, but when I do is it because I have demon sensing or I just can't f-ing see it? XD
It's funny when you think about all the anecdotes that hint to demon sensing - a lot of them could be caused by bad vision and/or sensory processing disabilities. It's like ... well damn. lol
Also, how you talk about life, the world, what's in your mind, is a big indicator of your cognitive process. Are you referencing real life - things you've heard, felt, experienced, or things that are undefined/conceptual?
My flashy armour is meant to both impress and intimidate...to keep away the peasants yet also show them how it's done.
I'm an INTJ and I think you are very cool. Maybe I prioritise information more, but I respect a more formal approach to things because it shows seriousness and careful consideration.
I noticed that people only see me as a cool person when I let myself be whatever I am at that moment... can be dark, analytical, mysterious with a bit of my ego showing or can be naturally excited over the smallest things and get high on being competitive. I change my persona when I am in different social settings, and when they realize I'm much more than what they thought of me as a whole, they instantly see me as cool, although I just showed them a bit more (not everything - I would never do that to anyone).
As an INFP I didn't see this coming. I'm sure I would pick up on the discomfort, hesitancy to engage in conversation, and flat affect, but may interpret it as irritation, hostility, or having a bad day. I can read others quite well most of the time, but never INTJs. I never think of INTJs as being unable to do anything! So, there's hope for a little interaction after all? Not too much interaction, though. I'm an introvert as well.
Hearing your perspective is always fascinating to me as an ESFP. The middle school epiphany blew my mind. 🤯 I actually had an epiphany in my late 20s that was the reverse of that: I suddenly realized I don't HAVE to style my hair to be seen. Never had I felt so free before then! Now, sometimes I do my hair before going somewhere, but 99% of the time I'm home and all I do is brush it in the morning and scrunchy it when needed (babies, cooking, etc.). Even to go into the public realm, I generally only do a simple but neat bun or braid. 👌 I also recently organized all of my kids' homeschool materials and had to send pictures to someone because I was so excited and proud of myself. 😂
I watched a video of Rose and Catherine this morning, actually. My husband typed me as Catherine's type-twin so I've been watching her as a way to do my NF sleep kind of, like using consume to track my patterns. Lol. So far my main takeaway is that she's more alpha than I am, which is embarrassing because she's younger than I am.
Wow you blew my mind with your realization of the inverse, how you realized you didn't have to do your hair. Hahah that's amazing. I can't say I for sure get it now, and it absolutley has to be a conscious task that I have to "take on" in a sense. Nice on the organization bit! Bet that felt great to finish.
@@InternetLiJo I get what you mean. 😄
Well she is a fellow ESFP (as much as this dumb system works) so ofc she understands you
Thank you for putting this into words. I'm trying to get an INTJ female friend into mbti as it would really help her. You've hit the nail on the head with SF Peacocking. Hopefully can have better conversations about it now.
Truly just a part of the human experience. Can be quite silly all the same 😅
I appear to be talkative and outgoing, so that I could establish network with people. Just because it seems like the thing I need to do to survive for what I do. However, I need plenty of alone time to regroup or recharge for doing that. When I am switched off from that talkative and easy going mode, I am not going out, not socialising, and do not knock on my door.
Fashion. SF peacocking is very obvious with intj through fashion. It's that outfit we think is cool, but it's often so out of place, it's wearing a tuxedo to work, or the trenchcoat with combat boots. We all have done this with the sf in mind.
Awe she did a live and I missed it!!! Was this just a premier, but not an actual live?
Just a premiere - not a live! :)
I laughed so hard at the end lol xD xD xD great video ^^
LMAO glad you saw that clip 🤣
And this is where a lot of people get turned off by me. Trying to be cool is looking for acceptance, but I realized I had to accept myself first. I don't bother trying to fit in too much these days, I'd rather be with real people who accept me for the real me. I guess we INTJs should realize that we're already cool since people always come to us when they need something (usually answers) anyway.
I hardly learnt my lesson when i was 10 : something very stupid i won't mention involving Se made me think "Hey if that stupid guy can do it i can, because obviously my brain performs better". Two seconds later, worst fail of my short life, but good lesson learnt.
Thanks for the great video and the horrible sip at the end !
As an INTJ I have finally figured out how to start developing a more intentional clothing style and I peacock to my sister haha
That's totally it, we can SF but... it takes more time, it's not natural and spontaneous. It will be planned.
Like you, thinking about what I'm going to say, and drinking at the same time, can lead to disaster. If I think while I'm eating or drinking, chances are I'll bite my lip, cheek, or tongue.
I need extra mental concentration to do well 2 things in same time. Be on Earth, on our body, or be in the space in our mind, we have to choose^^.
What ? It is possible to do 2 things perfectly and correctly in same time? I always thought humans couldn't do this.
Honestly, I'd rather see an INTJ try SF and be awkward (I find that clumsiness/"peacocking" cute) than see an SF type do it naturally.
INTJs who step out of their comfort zone and show their vulnerability, and try to improve them, I really appreciate. I am attracted by the others INTJ.
Yes great way of saying it - the SF is planned :)
My first steps to having a career were in retail, and awkward did not begin to describe me back then! I now work in sales, designing kitchens. I have to sit in a room with people for 2-3 hours at a time, and I'm pretty good at it. I think we can be good at anything we want to be good at, but the process probably won't be pretty 😂
you look seriously divine … and bit intimidating and simply clean
LOL
my peacocking as an INTJ is that i brag a lot about being able to drive stick shift (manual car), even though i have not done it in almost 3 years and is probably not the best at it😂
my x wife always laughed at me cause i got my dinner on me 😎i took it as a badge of honour LOL-Thanks for the video 🤗
Love it!!
5:45 Stop calling me out, woman. 😂😂
lol 😂, mine is recall of wide variety of different things. As I get older, more and more looks of confusion as my information is severely dated.
As an enfp, this is ridiculously adorable. Have seen it in action many times
**blushes**
As an INTJ that sounded like the least INTJ thing ive ever heard. My need to maximize efficiency would never allow for clumsiness. Not saying im charismatic but those small details you called focus to would never cross my mind
as an intj who was raised in a highly artistic family, from a young age i've adopted this fake it till you make it strategy and attitude towards what i thought was cool, namely charisma, charm and so on. now, going into my 30s, i don't really give a shit about looking cool + that might actually be a part of my charisma.
Hahah I think a lot of INTJs apply this strategy. Ni is confident throwing a dart in a direction where the target "should" be based on other data points that have led us to aim that way. I'm with you, I see more and more how just being comfortable being myself is the most "cool" I can be.
the fangirling lmaoooooo
2:30 COMPLETELY called out in this moment
Feeling the inferior Se with you!
...Oh, the slurping at the end! 🤦♀️
😄
I got a few cool things I can do, im not sure if they count as peacocking but they're pretty unique
I can clap extremely loudly, deeply and very high pitched
I can go down two steps at a time on any staircase very fast so I can go twice as fast as anyone going down 1 at a time
I have a strong grip (not too big a of an ability tbh)
i've got some others but these are the main ones that people seem very impressed by
intj btw
I remember you saying once that you were working very hard to either do a cartwheel or a handstand i don't remember which. This reminded me of it. How is that coming along?
INTP is being a smartegg - is that peacocking?
BTW I'm not a native and this word is so descriptive. I learned few things today! Thanks
Haha not peacocking, you just likely are a "smartegg" which might be my new favorite term!
I too am a smartegg ..
Hi LiJo,
to me you do come across very cool. Just my honest 2 cents.
I'm working on trying to make being a little bit weird be perceived as being cool. Not sure if it's going my way so far.
I hear that. These days I’ve been focusing less on what is cool and more on just being comfortable in whatever situation I’m in. If I’m comfortable I’m more myself which is cool enough I think.
@@InternetLiJo Agreed, also to a certain degree I will say, whatever you are - own it. People mostly respond to someone being genuine and also 'cool' is defined different for various types of people. I'm not saying we shouldn't work to improve the weaker sides of our character, but part of working on them is also accepting them.
True. I witnessed this once from a guy and it was so obvious that they were going thru specific motions purposefully. Unfortunately it was his actual personality that blew his chances (blunt, objectifying out loud).
I thought I Was alone in the beverage spills Olympics . work around is screwed on lid straw with a one cap. boom we have containment
I sincerely have given up on the concept of being perceived as cool. But being original? Regardless of how strange? I've totally adopted that. Ever since I was a kid, I realized I wasn't going to fit in exactly how I wanted so I settled for what I did best, which was saying things I genuinely was interested in and cracking jokes as I saw them. Half the time they fell flat, and people began perceiving the bad jokes with the good as part of my natural charm. 🤪 It's not even an act anymore, I'm a fully formed dork and frankly I'm the most relaxed when I'm comfortable enough to indulge in my niche interests and tell my plethora of embarrassing stories.
🤣 people have learned to like my bad jokes as well. But it's only fair because I also like other peoples bad jokes. They do have charm.
Not working on it. I see no point in being cool. Tried couple of times, it was awkward and I embarrassed myself. It takes too much energy trying to be someone you were never meant to be. Of course we can figure it out, learn, put a mask on and act it out. Is it worth it? Anyhow, it's (sometimes) fascinating to see how natural cool people behave but, analyzing their behavior, I realized it's on the oppositive side of what I want to be. Furthermore, the cooler you are, the more attention you tend to draw on yourself. And this would be a proper nightmare!
"Being cool" has always struck me as superficial nonsense, so I have never had any desire to pursue it. Oddly, though, I attract people who are fascinated by my directness. They tend to be over socialized/programmed people who are conditioned not to speak their minds and not to point out when something is blatantly ridiculous. I am that person saying the emperor has no clothes, and these people seem to love that.
Incredible explanation haha, in middle school I had the same experience, except I used a water fountain to "gel" my hair omfg I remember ppl poking fun about it. And then in college I had emo hair which I loved. It's interesting how our weakness can become something we love pursuing for life though (art/aesthetics in this case?)
Holding the cup with both hands and Yet!
lmao I just realized that as I watched this video back again 🤣🤣
While I enjoy the fact that you were fangirling, I also love and enjoy the editing in this video 😂
THANK YOU!! The meta of this video is that I tried harder than usual to make it look cool 🥲
I was quite horrified by the INTJ type description at first and thought NF's were in much a better spot.
I (ENTP) love it when my INTJ fiancé tries to act cool but it doesn’t work lol, it’s cute and endearing.
From some point really early on in my childhood,
for me to be in the spotlight was somewhere near death,
so this is like a three or four decade thing for this INTJ.
But what the hell does that matter?
The boy is just shy. He will grow out of it.
Quick question, does the following resonate with you? I became a software engineer because all of my friends wanted to be djs and actors and I just wanted to be different :)
Haha god knows what anyone else is doing, I'm probably most out of touch with that piece 😅
😂 ...i can figure out pretty much everything..🙂
I honestly just think people see me being myself and must think I look like a real debbie downer. My default from across the room demeanour. I suppose it’s COOL when I do in fact talk to people and I surprise them so much they basically fall off their chair. Hehe. 💥
What type(s) would be like "I could eventually figure out how to plan ahead, get things done, and set & reach goals, but I'd really have to work at it. I wish I could get my ish together and take initiative, step up into leadership rules, be assertive for myself, keep my home clean, and do that whole rat race thing for financial success." I also wish I could see a tangible/physical/mechanical problem and figure out how to fix it, but that's more of a _wouldn't it be nice?_ kind of thing than an _I'm actually going to figure out out_ kind of thing.
I assume this is a type with lower Te, but I don't really know.
I just realized. Are all INTJs Kaiki Deishuu?
I do peacock or have been called blunt but that's only when im in a group of people. If someone is being rude or a smartass I'll wait a couple seconds after they speak and tell them what I feel..
I feel like I have the tendency to peacock because I want others to know that I know a great deal about something. I really struggle with reigning it in, because I know I come off as overbearing the moment anyone brings up my "thing."
Serious question: would a 102-year-old INTJ still be “future oriented”? And what would that look like?
I actually don't do this. I used to when I was in school I guess, but everyone does in school. I genuinely have zero interest in outside approval, I already know myself to be cool, because I believe I am cool, and my opinion is the only one that matters.
Good Video
Glad you enjoyed
Yes…everything is figure-out-able - it’s what I’m known for at work 😅. Except for how to be cool, never been cool - just weird 😊
Weird is pretty cool to me 😎
I’m sorry but… never have I ever tried to be cool 😂
and, yet, in spite of ANY type of thing (or things) that can possibly be construed as 'cool'; perhaps THE ABSOLUTELY COOLEST THING that ANYone can do IS to be ABSOLUTELY UNAPOLOGETICALLY GENUINE.
so, THE THING to do IS to just, simply be yourself - whatever that might be.
IF other people around you think that youre cool, THEN GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you found your people. if they dont find it cool, then perhaps consider finding other people - OR - other ways to go about doing what you are doing.
ABSOLUTELY.
FOR SURE.
- intj
100000% That's what I've come to embrace, just learning how to be comfortable (in any extroverted manner) just being myself.
I hate Peacocking of any sort. I like natural, ego-free, honest ppl.
With that ‘I can figure it out’…(true)…now how do I convince others I’m right? 🤔🤔🤔
Just like drinking cola and felt like king of the world while walking on road act like I don't care about anyone 😁
I come for the Se… and stay for the Ni
🔥🔥🔥🔥
I would make a terrible rich person lol
Irrelevant but important:
Favorite band or song?
Aghh FAVORITE.... Well I can tell you my favorite album of all time is probably Sextant - Herbie Hancock. Song... probably Portrait of Tracy by Jaco Pastorius. Aside from being one of the most beautiful songs, it was also one of the pieces that helped me to get my scholarship in collage. Not many 18 year olds playing that piece at the time haha.
@@InternetLiJo you opened my eyes today.
I didn’t realize just how heavily and how often Portrait of Tracy was sampled in the hip hop/r&b community. Most famously, I would say, by SWV’s “Rain.”
Never a dull moment with you, Lindsay!
Also. Surely you mean college?
This is awesome. -not INTJ
WHAT?
INTJs do not peacocks, they are usually very secretive and hate to be center of the attention...
Everyone does the peacocks 🦚 and the peacocks look different for each time. Have you ever seen an albino peacock? Those are fascinating!
Dont generelizing based on your only experience, we are not fully the same even tho we are intj
@@N0URii I mean you can say don't stereotype and think like intellectual, in comparison to other types, INTJs do not peacock, does that mean they never peacock? OFC nah...
hope you reimbursed your then partner after they built snugg for you. classic INTJ
We're co founders, we still work on the project together :)
Listen I don't have the dictionary for the language you are speaking. Can you speak English?
In socionics, functions of INTj -> Ti-Ne-Si-Fe -> the J stands for “Judging” and Ti (just like Te) is a Judging function, not a perceiving one… meanwhile.. in socionics INTp , the P stands for Perceiving, a perceiving function an intuitive like Ni… so INTP really is what you call intj…. Ni - Te - Fi -Se ……..
you owe to your subscribers to stop spreading misinformations just to your own gain, actually, addressing the fact you’re IN FACT INTP (which would be intj with intp’s functions but thanks to the nonsense manipulations that have been made to Jung’s theory by a logic lacking INFP that only made colourful characters and pushed the inherent tendency in human nature to separate in groups). You should have realised this already. But she preferred to morph reality according to her subjective model of logic and truth
Hi LiJo, as an INTJ how do you know if the ENTP is just being friendly or flirting (like genuinely interested in you) ?
A person with Ti as a first or second function may not be great at giving balanced emotional expression, but the Ti truth will eventually come out and they will likely just let you know :)