As an INTJ, I absolutely agree with this. I really like to know the situation beforehand so that I can figure out all the possibilities and prepare the best course of action. Rushing things just increases the failure rate tremendously and I hate that.
@@InternetLiJo It particularly irks me when someone says "Come on, get ready. We have to go somewhere". I don't know what the destination is or the purpose of it. Is it even worth the trouble? How do I dress for it? Do I have to take something with me? Is it going to affect any of my other plans? All of this could be prevented by simply providing me with the details beforehand so that I could prepare a very efficient plan, it could be flawless. But now I have to do the same thing with so much uncertainty and lesser efficiency. Wouldn't that frustrate you too? Haha.
Oh yes. It also bothers me when people rush me emotionally. "FEEL THIS ALREADY!!!!" Chill bro, I will feel things in my own good time, you rushing me into this with your Fe will just make me want to doorslam you real soon.
Infj here 👋 Haha sorry that'd be me sometimes 😂 my feelings flow so quickly. Like I can't stay angry at something or someone for a longer period of time and I have a hard time being patient with my husband's Fi at times since he likes to sit with his feelings for a bit and I'm like "We're wasting time staying in this emotion for too long! Let's talk it through right away and get on with our lives!"🤣 haha but I did learn a lot from it 👍
@@JellyIsland Can't relate since my Fi is tertiary, most of the time I am just way too slow to realize I am feeling something or if I do realize, I keep pushing that feeling away to deal with it later, because I don't have time for that crap lol.
@@JellyIsland I get wanting to just move quickly to continue to make progress, but there are times when the same conflict arises after you've talked so many times that it becomes difficult to completely stop the Fi loop and get out of taking it personally. But alas, staying quiet about it and processing and trying to flip the perspective from, "I can't believe my wife continues to do X, that we've talked about before! I'm holding up my end of the said discussion... wtf" to, "Okay, is X not being done because I am truly engaging in the way that we spoke about? Am I enabling her to do X as optimally as we agreed to? Is she maybe not engaging in X as efficiently because she doesn't feel well? If that's the case, how can I help? Is this only affecting me, or could it also be effecting X? What's the fastest way to resolve this in a non-combative, non- aggressive manny because if she becomes defensive we're not going to accomplish anything and turn. A 15 minute interaction into a 4 hour conflict..."
My personal favorite is asking my boss "Do you want it right or right now? Your choice. I am good either way." He always quietly walks away. One day his head really is going to explode.
It really gets me when I follow a procedure TO THE LETTER and people ask me "what the HELL are you DOing???? We do it THIS way.". That is some scary sh* t.
The modern store is sensory hell. I need all the calmness (I go when there's as few other shoppers as possible) and the time to take everything in and not be overwhelmed !
For groceries I order online with their app. I pick the groceries up at the back door of the store. No delivery for me. Pickup has a cheaper fee. 2 Euros for minimal order of 30 Euros. I hate it when delivery comes and I am on the pot. Or any other incovenient time. Delivery timesslots are half a day upto a whole day. Pick up your groceries when you can quick check if everything is in it. No impulse buys. Just your grocery list.
Slow shopping, meaning looking at everything slowly, feeling the fabrics and checking prices in peace with all the time of the day is a delight. Shopping with salespeople breathing down your neck, too many people and too little time is hell!
This is why I've enjoyed working in telecom for 30+ years. I voluntarily work the night shift. Why? • Everyone wants the day shift. Yay! I get the night shift all to myself. Don't have to deal with the energy drain. • Because there are fewer people at work, I can get everything done as quickly and easily as possible without the nonsense office politics or anything else, and then loads of free time to do other things (I know tons of others who would be _bored_ with that). • Less traffic getting to and from work (less energy drain again). • Fewer people at the supermarket. While they're all working, I'm in a store that's practically empty (see the pattern emerging? LOL) • Sunday night, when everyone is going to bed to get work on Monday, I'm at the last showing of a movie, so I'm the *ONLY* one in the theater - a private showing just for me! You'd think I was anti-social or something.
My problem isn't people rushing me, it's people wanting things done that I haven't planned for. My mother has been doing this a lot lately. If you want me to do something, give me some forewarning. I don't respond well to surprises.
ENTJ here! I SOOOOO related to this! I have a very similar experience. Even though I have this specific process down to pat and similar ones, I still feel the same pressure to be lethally efficient. My strategy starts (and this has been a practice for over a decaded now) on entry at the store. I also have similar processes for a plethora of other things. The formula works. If I have cash, I have the exact amount calculated before hand so my budget is fully compliant. I military style collect items on my list in order and have a loose packing order into the basket or trolley. It's always the same order walking down the isles and packing structure. My bags are ready by the time I get to the cashier but I repack everything into the basket or trolley to organise into the bags at the packing counter later. The entire proces for a small shop takes 2 min and for a bigger one max 10 and that is pushing it. That gives me enough time to deliver a charming compliment the person in line behind me on something to invoke an amazing level of patients in them. I still finish as quickly as possible but with someone urging me to take my time. Much more effective and efficient and calmer. I love systems an processes like this for everything!
Ugggh yes! As an INTJ Tattoo Artist I get very frustrated when anyone tries to rush me. I have a system that works to include a full consultation to weed out impatient people. Every now and then an impatient gets through and its awful.
Probably the most frustrating thing is that in most situations, I have already planned out the most optimal strategy, so having someone else come in and introduce a new variable is like having someone throw a monkey wrench into a well oiled machine, which will only derail the process and make things take longer than they should. It's like if you're trying to juggle and someone randomly throws a ball at you. My go-to solution to this problem is instead of yielding to their pressure to speed up, I intentionally slow down and focus on what I'm doing while completely ignoring that other person as if they don't exist.
When I'm being rushed it automatically feels like I'm being setup for failure, because I can't make the best out of the situation by considering/examining/perfecting everything that is at stake. My brain just shuts down and I can feel paralyzed, like I'm already giving up on the task ; because I guess, might as well not bother to try if it's not gonna be good enough.
I don't even like dealing with my credit card, wallet, and receipt. Please do not add in cash or change. The change goes in a completely separate change purse, the cash in a separate part of my wallet, and the receipt goes in some bag where it won't get wet. I will go as fast as I can, but don't hand me a million things at check out. I also am completely inefficient at self check out because I need to pack bags perfectly, and the bags never open, I can lick my fingers because of the damn masks, etc. I hate shopping.
I have a golden rule which has really helped me to learn new ways of dealing with the world: I do not rush at weekends. I will purposefully slow down and take my time with tasks e.g chores, visiting people, cooking etc. Normally in the working week I whizz through these things and do not really register them and that kind of energy leads to burn out fast. When I do slow down I find I have more time to build efficiency in during the working week. I'll do thoughtful forward prep for working week me and it makes me feel a lot better. Maybe this will help someone else out there, idk...
So true. I am alone during the day--even then, I try to empty and re-load the dishwasher and make a cup of tea and a snack in an as efficient manner as possible. And I feel stressed when I make an obvious 'mistake'--like going to the fridge twice for milk and cheese, or whatever. All of this pressure is manufactured by me and me alone.
I do something similar but have started to purposely zoom out my perspective when that happens and look at long term optimization to realize how insignificant the short term optimizations really are. Go to the fridge 3 extra times. In the big picture it won’t matter.
I took up ice skatiing to work on my Se. - Was going really well last couple weeks till as i was on my own in the class - yesterday i was joined by 3 other noobs and now the coach is coaching a bigger group with in the class thats way ahead of me. - Needless to say II felt rushed and BANG > toe pick > back slam > and now im lying here wiith a strained back and neck and in a LOT of pain - exactly as i predicted. Now i'm going to go to my own corner of the lesson and do my own thing in my own way or get private coaching.
We are not being rude; we have things to take care of too. Ex fast food drive-throughs, I know they are being timed and want you driving off the second their windows closes; I have been told this. But; I have to put my money away & the receipts as well as put my straw in my drink. This is my side of the previous transaction and are things I cannot do while driving or walking. This should not be seen as polite or rude. THEY CAN WAIT.
Anyone else see messages to 'rush or make this thing' and then internalize this and not reply immediately? Yet are of course working on the item in question? sometimes I don't even like to respond to status updates because that in itself is too much external energy. but just know I got you. I Like to reply with here it is, not I'm working on it.
I hate when cashiers do that.... yea people can wait but i still get kinda anxious knowing that people are behind me so what i do is just throw everything into my grocery bag or purse (whichever is easier) and then sort things out later quietly in peace 😌 It’s self-inflicted temporary chaos that i think is better than dealing with outside chaos from others which i don’t have control over 🙃
This describes me me completely. Don't rush me, and I will actually complete a task Faster. There are mainly 2 reasons for this, as I see it. #1, I like to take my time to ensure EVERYTHING is done in a manner that it should be. And Secondly, I have always had an issue with "authority"...if I think someone Wants me to do a certain task, it makes me not want to do it. That one I've had to learn to deal with in the adult world.
One time I was at the supermarket putting my items on the belt, and as I started unloading my last bag a woman came up behind me and started putting her own stuff on as well. I said 'I'm not done yet" but she just stared at me. I had to physically hand her stuff back to her to make room for my shopping, and she got weird about it. Unobservant people.
As an intj with cashier experience, I can attest to the frustration on the other end when flow is not optimal, and I would try to make the experience faster and better for ppl. But I can agree and assure you, they Can wait.
They CAN wait. It’s no biggie. Think how many people we’ve all waited on who don’t actually care about anyone else being affected by their conceited actions. If you’re ruining someone’s day because you needed a few extra seconds to put your money back in your wallet at the counter, that person is already beyond having a ruined day.
Spot on was just thinking about this very same thing. You can choose between staying calm and sticking to the plan. Waiting for more facts before you decide to draw a conclusion or make a decision. Or you can cave into emotional extroverted preassures and hurry up which ussually makes you make a worse decision or clouds judgment.
Absolutely. On another note, INTJs need extended time on tests. This is just the way we work. We want to be thorough yet precise and ultimately 100% accurate (we really care on a personal level about what we're entering as the answer); melding the two in perfect balance takes some time, but it is still bound by a legitimate time constraint, especially with respect to standardized tests. It's frustrating to me that we're expected to perform academically under a standard that isn't optimal for communicating to the teacher/school/board what we know.
Why am I crying while watching this? As an INTJ, I should really remind myself that I can take my time. I am always afraid that if I delay a decision or action, I am losing time and other things I am not aware of. I guess I have to think of the best formula to do things more efficiently. Thank you for this video!!!
i thought i was the only one feeling rushed when paying for groceries :D having someone with you who can lend a helping hand would be ideal, that made me realize why when i go with my dad things go smoothly because we divide the tasks
It's funny, I RARELY even have cash on me for this very reason. It's not that I have an aversion to carrying cash, it's that I don't want to deal with the change, which pocket it goes in, etc....As for being rushed, I completely understand. I break a decision (such as a purchasing decision) down into steps. Step 1, research online. Step 2, go to a store and look at the items in person. Touch, examine, look at the package, decide it's not quite what I want. Return to step 1. After doing more research, there is no product in existence that does what I want, so ultimately the original item is the closest I'll get. Step 3, order on Amazon. Just an FYI, a really big purchase such as a car, house, boat, whatever can take up to 2 years of decisions. This has led me to buy expensive, high quality things since I know to replace it will be a headache and Se overload.
I relate to this so much. If faced with a task that I care about, I always put it off, procrastinate, or spend ages thinking about it before delving into it because it's so much more comforting to remain in the introverted functions, because I can already anticipate how perfectionistic I'll attempt to be once focused on it and that stresses me out.
Love this video thanks LiJo! This is so true; I hate being rushed in life, and yet once I am forced to finish something in rush and if the result is not what I or other person want, I got frustrated and annoyed, the anxiety and anger eats me a bit inside. Luckily, my wife told me that I need to relax and they can wait. Bless her :D
Lots of good insights here. As an INTJ, I have to slot every new piece of information or new process into my existing understanding of how the world works. This takes a little time, but once it’s there, it’s there permanently. If I’m rushed, it feels like driving off with something balanced on the car roof instead of it being safe in the trunk.
Resonated pretty well with me - I have also recently learnt this. Have been through lot of anxiety and name-calling due to this, but acceptance on my part has made life easier.
I so appreciate your education on INTJs! I'm in a new relationship with an INTJ and as an INFP it can be really difficult for me to intuit what's happening in his head. I've been watching your videos to help increase my ability to empathize with him. You're awesome!
As the sensory channels are running close to max all the time, to ‘speed’ up either puts the sensory channels into overload with random items being dropped or I have to consciously decide what channels can be dropped to keep it manageable. Dropping inputs makes me feel like my output is subpar which is unpleasant, however in reality others probably don’t notice since they aren’t aware of what I left out. I have to remind myself of this disparity that exists between my brain and what others see and hear from me and that is ok to let the brain go into idle for a while and avoid mansplaining.
Yes. I quit a part time job because of this. I was hired with few hours, for 3 months. I went to work 2-3 days tops a week, so they didn't fully teach me how the meals were prepared. When I wanted to learn, due to that I was only the days they were fully booked, they couldn't teach me properly. So when they put me to prepare the meals, they change me to the grill. Which is fine to me. I prefered pour the meat and give them to make the meals. The restaurant had to close because of the building had to get better. I was relocated to other restaurant from the franchise (It wasn't fast food) The first day, they had everything set in a different place and they didn't need the amount of stuff that in the one I was. So I had to do the job of two and fast. The supervisor was the mother of the founder, so.... It was a disaster. I felt like a total failure. Incapable of doing nothing. Useless. Slowing the team. I knew that the next time it would be worse, because she didn't have patience and she was like: you already have to know how to prep the meals. And I explained her what happened: I did one job not 2 or three at the same time. I was in the Salad preparation and had to clead my place. Ok. But there I had to set the salads, wash the dishes and refill the meat, taking it from the freezer in the storage. I was lost😅 But in that restaurant were 4 instead of 12 people to do the job, because it was smaller and it has never been fully booked as the other one. So, she was mad with me. It was my fault after all. If the attacks were in a personal level, I wouldn't mind, but working? Oh no. Due to that, the next interactions were more than akward, I quitted, because they even cut more hours. I worked 15h-20h and now 4h-8h per week. Bye. -intj female. (It is a large rant, I know. I quitted, studied a short certificate from the government and working in a big company now, in a desk. Much better😌. The next step is grow my hustle job and make the business flourish to quit this one and focus on mine)
(ISTP) As a savior Se, the INTJ's in my life really appreciate the things I do for them in the real world. And since I enjoy making them feel good (Fe) I do so in abundance! In turn, where I'm all about the moment, they use their Ni to help me feel grounded in the progress of things moving forward.
GOOD TO SEE that this happens to other INTJs. not that its good that it happens but its comforting to know that this happens to more than just me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) it is ABSOLUTELY ALL in our quest for perfection (i know...) BUT, also KNOW that it happens to other people, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not that that ^ makes it excusable but; KNOW that even though perfection ABSOLUTELY IS something to aim for, it EXTRAORDINARILY RARELY EVER occurs... regardless of the above ^, KNOW in spite of all that could go wrong as long as YOU FEEL you are exerting your best effort and even though it may not be 'perfect'; then thats still THE BEST THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE considering the restraints of the situation. THAT ^ VERY thought comforts me in such times. i KNOW. ABSOLUTELY. FOR SURE.
Excellent video Lindsay! I feel exactly like this when I go shopping. I rush myself because I think others are rushing me and then everything goes wrong LOL but them can rlly wait!! - INTJ
This resonates. I hate being rushed because people don't understand that I already figured out how much time I need to do whatever I'm doing and their rushing me isn't going to change that, it's only going to stress me out.
Story of my life. I've realized though that sometimes it's my own Te that projects the need for rush to other people's requests. They CAN wait, they're even willing to wait and don't expect my immediate reaction, note taken, now I need to practice more.
I love INTJ's! One of the few I can actually vibe with, relate to, and bounce ideas off one another. One of the best things I love about INTJ is that they are unapologetically, defiantly themselves and great independent thinkers.
"Do not disturb me." Also enrages me to the ground as an INTJ, I feel an urge to scream an beat at the person who did this to me and I'm pretty sure they notice it because it's written all over my face.
What I can't stand is when they put the paper money in your hand and then put the coins on top so that they just slide right off onto the floor. People don't think anymore, neither the cashiers nor the supervisors. In the "old days" cashiers were taught how to give change back. And I never let them keep the change.
I’m not an INTJ but I hate being rushed too. When people rush me, I freeze and screw up more I just get more nervous I need to do things at my own time. It’s like my brain freezes. And that “they can wait” comment, is so true, and so easy to forget. I hate my Fe. I wish I was a selfish prick 😂
I can really relate to this but with FE rather than TE! I hate the same scenario but it's more about stresses of what other people will be thinking and how I might be disrupting their flow rather than my own. Why do they put change on top of the receipt in one hand, I always hated that so much. You have the bag of purchased items in the other hand. I used to just close my hand and scurry to a wall to sort myself out afterwards. Why such stress over such a stupid little thing? 😂
the change on top of the receipt is probably efficient way for the cashier but is so impractical from the customer's perspective, like you have to have the second hand free to put the change in that second hand, then put the receipt into the bag, then put the change into the wallet it takes more time then handing the change and the receipt one by one
can't agree more. tbh I won't shift this blame to others, BUT just a self-observation, most of the time when people rushed me, I would be less on-time and more stressed. yet if no ones rush me at all, things are always on the right track and well done. I hate being rushed, especially when I want to articulate my thoughts clearly. some friends like to rush on a conversation/debate or rush to get my opinion, i become less willing to talk with them. "Give my brain time, bro."
It’s totally the same for me INFJ. _Younger, when parents wanted me to do things I don’t want to do, or told me at the last minute « we go, you come » (what, where, to do what, to see who, I don’t want, I am not prepared physically and mentally for this) _During my last 9 years relationship with an ENTJ (was a good relationship for me) I hated when he told me « there is party this evening » we had to eat fast, prepare fast. I am a very calm and quiet person, don’t afraid me, or rush me with no meaningful or useless stuff. My heart may race. Rush me is one of the thing which can make me upset and angry. Give me the time to prepare physically and mentally, if it the case I want do it. My time, my energy are important.
Lol, I'm intp and I hate being rushed as well. I have noticed it mostly since being married to an istp. Now it makes sense. His high Se and my low Se don't mix in these situations. With my Si third slot I definitely care about getting places on time. But it's my inferior Fe that makes me feel like I have to cater to other people. If someone wants to get going and I'm not ready, I'm disappointing/annoying them. If I'm fumbling at the register and the person behind me is being pushy, I feel like I have to hurry so they can be on their way. I feel that the physical world intrudes upon my interior world when I'm being rushed. Maybe being an intuitive doesn't help. Or maybe for me, it's the Ti not wanting to be rushed? And yes, I actually will probably be faster if I am not being rushed by another person because I won't have that extra anxiety. "They can wait" *mind blown* lol
So if I understand correctly, the Te basically shuts down when rushed which leads to all sorts of inefficiencies. Any kind of chaos will do this, ergo, anyone deliberately introducing chaos into the life of the INTJ, whether personally or ideologically, will typically be met with appropriate scorn and derision.
I would say Te recognizes that "rushing" is occuring because the situation isn't externally working optimally. Ni knows things can't be done faster because if its clumsy nature with Se and therefore the pressure is assumed as real.
As an INTJ I always had the same thing. Very relateable. Untill I started playing high speed strategy games with strict time limits like Chess and Poker. (speed versions) Helped me a lot getting over this 'rushed' feeling in more common every day situations. Learning how to make discisions fast as INTJ = superpower!
Hello internet friend LiJo. If I understand function stacks correctly, it might be because of INTJs demon Se. As Objective Personality put it(better than I can put it), it's okay to take guesses. And as you said, it's okay to wait as well. I'd refrain commenting on someone that I don't know anything about any further but please assume this is a good gesture to show you some support towards your process of personality growth. :) Then I'd want to rant as well. As an IxxP, I also don't like people rushing and telling me what to do. It's not like I don't know what to do or when to rush, it's simply not the moment to decide yet. For example, I want to buy something. Whilst I'm browsing, someone tells me 'Just buy it'. For me, buying an item is not as simple as that. It needs to be supported with why I'm buying one, do I need one, what's the economical benefit/utility it has, is it the best I could get in the market, etc. At the end, it is still I, whom needs to pay for that item and use it. If I were to get some groceries, when there's so many choices, I'd pull up my calculator and begin to kick in weight to price ratios. Lol someone rushing me through that surely gonna be annoyed big time.
I need to save my energy. I need to be prepared for any future events. It’s the reason I hate rush. And I hate people telling me what to do or how to do if I already know it.
Because i was small for my age, except my mouth, i had a lot of problems with these bullies. But i used these same bullies in my work, when i was designing something, to protect me from these ever demanding project managers...
Omg...this resonates perfectly with how I feel everytime I have to pass thru security before taking a flight..I plan ahead and have the process defined and played out in my brain but it always feels rushed and overwhelming.
When I was in high school, PE was a nightmare some days. Se overload; in a game of kick ball, I dropped the ball like 4 times when it was kicked to me in outfield. Similar to your currency analogy lol
I can relate to feeling rushed in line but for me it comes from a different place. As an ENTP, I feel the social pressure of the expected time to move along, which I assume is coming from Fe. Although we can rush folks on ideation, I also dislike being rushed from ideation to execution before we’ve thought it through (even if “it” is something I don’t care about). I’ll try to be a bit more patient with those who don’t answer questions rapidly because that’s where I get impatient (cringe at the pregnant pause).
Yes! The cashier example is what I've thought about so much. I deliberately try to not be rushed. It's so hard to focus when people are breathing over your shoulder. Covid doesn't make it any easier too. The other thing is, Ni is screaming at me "Society shouldn't be this way/people need to have more patience." So I set the example based on my moral princicples. And I appear to be an ass with no situational awareness. The truth is far from that. Honesty when people try to rush an INTJ it has the opposite effect. It gives us more information to process. Our brains are already designed for efficiency. I beleive in doing things as fast as possible. But that doesn't mean I do them quickly.
If I feel rushed to do something or like I’m not in control of the timeline I either ignore the request completely or I tell whoever is requesting said action item “Don’t tell me what to do”, within reason, of course. I was thinking about inferior Se the other day and I always feel rushed getting out of the car because I have to get all my sensory stuff together before I can get out of the car, and nine times out of ten my husband is waiting for me to get out of the car. Thank you for sharing!!
Recently I had this incident where I was rushed by cashier to the point where he was being rude and I ended up paying him extra. I got really mad and then I decided to work on a mental blueprint that allows me to efficiently deal with rushed situations. Though its still in initial stage, I can see better results already.
I THOUGHT I WAS JUST WEIRD FOR NOT WANTING TO CARRY CASH/CHANGE! This clicks so hard in regards to to me taking so long to accomplish my tasks, especially anything in regards to Se. I worked as a refrigeration technician for about a year, and MAN was my hand speed SLOW... It felt like I had to absolutely orient every single thing before allowing myself to just do the thing. Reflecting on it now, it definitely felt like I was so anxious about my dexterity, not wanting to break something in my process of trying fix the thing. I kept looping through procedure in my head and being fidgety before just gritting my teeth and working. I know my supervisor at the time also caught on to how I would hyper focus on the problem without thinking of Se solutions... like something as simple and setting a jig to work as efficiently as possible without me having to try to control everything (would make me envy octopuses because of having 8 arms) I had never considered that solution by my analysis because I was so focused on the mental gymnastics of how I would contorted myself to fit the environment, rather than utilizing my environment to make my job easier for me. I always doubted myself being an INTJ, but that was at such a surface and shallow level, the more I learn about MBTI and functions with the Function stack, SO MUCH MORE MAKES SENSE IN MY LIFE.
@@InternetLiJo Thank you for producing this content, it's incredibly eye opening seeing the process from the outside in. Even though we have the ability to shift perspectives, we still fall victim to being creatures of our own habits and definitely continue to have our own blind spots. My wife is an ISTJ, and I'm sure I've been bugging the crap out of her with all of my questioning of, "Aw geez... do I do this? What about that? I'm so sorry if I end up doing X!"
Wow. When I was asked to contribute for a case study I was surprised my partner was done writing a draft. Like what? But when I saw it, partner wrote irrelevant and unnecessary info which discouraged me to continue workin on it bec I know it'd just end up with compromised quality. While it has benefits, mental rush also has tons of setbacks.
My biggest example of this is dealing with South Carolina drivers tailgating me. I have had SOOOO much practice dealing with "they can wait" 😂😂 I am so calm now with someone else trying to rush me. Especially since I put a bumper sticker on my car that says, "do you follow Jesus this close?" 😏
This happens to me at work a lot of times, I have a timeline to do a project and suddenly that changes so i have to do it half the time. Then i rush and somewhere in all that rushing i see everything going wrong becouse of this rushing and thats when i take a timeout. Then i tell them to stuff this new plan where the sun doesn't shine.
I HATE being rushed, specially in the mornings. I wake up 30min earlier than necessary just to move slowly around the house.
Oh SAME. I give myself so much buffer time simply because of how slow I go.
Nice tip I should try that because normally when I try to wake up and immediately get on with the day I feel very slow and grumpy
As an INTJ, I absolutely agree with this. I really like to know the situation beforehand so that I can figure out all the possibilities and prepare the best course of action. Rushing things just increases the failure rate tremendously and I hate that.
rushing things increases failure - EXACTLY.
@@InternetLiJo It particularly irks me when someone says "Come on, get ready. We have to go somewhere". I don't know what the destination is or the purpose of it. Is it even worth the trouble? How do I dress for it? Do I have to take something with me? Is it going to affect any of my other plans?
All of this could be prevented by simply providing me with the details beforehand so that I could prepare a very efficient plan, it could be flawless. But now I have to do the same thing with so much uncertainty and lesser efficiency. Wouldn't that frustrate you too? Haha.
Oh yes. It also bothers me when people rush me emotionally. "FEEL THIS ALREADY!!!!" Chill bro, I will feel things in my own good time, you rushing me into this with your Fe will just make me want to doorslam you real soon.
😂😂😂🙌🏻
Infj here 👋 Haha sorry that'd be me sometimes 😂 my feelings flow so quickly. Like I can't stay angry at something or someone for a longer period of time and I have a hard time being patient with my husband's Fi at times since he likes to sit with his feelings for a bit and I'm like "We're wasting time staying in this emotion for too long! Let's talk it through right away and get on with our lives!"🤣 haha but I did learn a lot from it 👍
@@JellyIsland Can't relate since my Fi is tertiary, most of the time I am just way too slow to realize I am feeling something or if I do realize, I keep pushing that feeling away to deal with it later, because I don't have time for that crap lol.
@@JellyIsland I get wanting to just move quickly to continue to make progress, but there are times when the same conflict arises after you've talked so many times that it becomes difficult to completely stop the Fi loop and get out of taking it personally. But alas, staying quiet about it and processing and trying to flip the perspective from, "I can't believe my wife continues to do X, that we've talked about before! I'm holding up my end of the said discussion... wtf" to, "Okay, is X not being done because I am truly engaging in the way that we spoke about? Am I enabling her to do X as optimally as we agreed to? Is she maybe not engaging in X as efficiently because she doesn't feel well? If that's the case, how can I help? Is this only affecting me, or could it also be effecting X? What's the fastest way to resolve this in a non-combative, non- aggressive manny because if she becomes defensive we're not going to accomplish anything and turn. A 15 minute interaction into a 4 hour conflict..."
My personal favorite is asking my boss "Do you want it right or right now? Your choice. I am good either way." He always quietly walks away. One day his head really is going to explode.
THIS 🙌🏻
It really gets me when I follow a procedure TO THE LETTER and people ask me "what the HELL are you DOing???? We do it THIS way.". That is some scary sh* t.
👏
INTJ - don't rush me
INFJ - don't lie to me
I'm INXJ. Don't do _either_ to me!
Me an INFP with high Fi
Don't tell me the things it certainly depends on the feels
The modern store is sensory hell. I need all the calmness (I go when there's as few other shoppers as possible) and the time to take everything in and not be overwhelmed !
sensory HELL.
For groceries I order online with their app.
I pick the groceries up at the back door of the store.
No delivery for me.
Pickup has a cheaper fee. 2 Euros for minimal order of 30 Euros.
I hate it when delivery comes and I am on the pot. Or any other incovenient time. Delivery timesslots are half a day upto a whole day.
Pick up your groceries when you can quick check if everything is in it.
No impulse buys. Just your grocery list.
Slow shopping, meaning looking at everything slowly, feeling the fabrics and checking prices in peace with all the time of the day is a delight. Shopping with salespeople breathing down your neck, too many people and too little time is hell!
I especially hates those sales that follow us and keep asking what do we want...
This is why I've enjoyed working in telecom for 30+ years. I voluntarily work the night shift. Why?
• Everyone wants the day shift. Yay! I get the night shift all to myself. Don't have to deal with the energy drain.
• Because there are fewer people at work, I can get everything done as quickly and easily as possible without the nonsense office politics or anything else, and then loads of free time to do other things (I know tons of others who would be _bored_ with that).
• Less traffic getting to and from work (less energy drain again).
• Fewer people at the supermarket. While they're all working, I'm in a store that's practically empty (see the pattern emerging? LOL)
• Sunday night, when everyone is going to bed to get work on Monday, I'm at the last showing of a movie, so I'm the *ONLY* one in the theater - a private showing just for me!
You'd think I was anti-social or something.
"No, that's not what I was going to say."
The worst thing someone can do is ask me a question and interrupt my answer.
Ya can't expect good decisions to be on the fly... Don't force the Ni plane to land prematurely
Lol thank you!
Beautifully stated.
Entj here, am I a joke to you😂
My problem isn't people rushing me, it's people wanting things done that I haven't planned for. My mother has been doing this a lot lately. If you want me to do something, give me some forewarning. I don't respond well to surprises.
DON'T LOOK AT ME WHEN IM TRYING TO FIX YOUR TECH ISSUES
But really, if I don't get rushed to do things. Stuff would not get done till last minute
LOL it's like another component that doesn't work - the observer
Ne: In more general extroverted functions rush the introverted functions.
Ni: Let me get back to you on that.
ENTJ here! I SOOOOO related to this! I have a very similar experience. Even though I have this specific process down to pat and similar ones, I still feel the same pressure to be lethally efficient. My strategy starts (and this has been a practice for over a decaded now) on entry at the store. I also have similar processes for a plethora of other things. The formula works. If I have cash, I have the exact amount calculated before hand so my budget is fully compliant. I military style collect items on my list in order and have a loose packing order into the basket or trolley. It's always the same order walking down the isles and packing structure. My bags are ready by the time I get to the cashier but I repack everything into the basket or trolley to organise into the bags at the packing counter later. The entire proces for a small shop takes 2 min and for a bigger one max 10 and that is pushing it. That gives me enough time to deliver a charming compliment the person in line behind me on something to invoke an amazing level of patients in them. I still finish as quickly as possible but with someone urging me to take my time. Much more effective and efficient and calmer. I love systems an processes like this for everything!
Ugggh yes! As an INTJ Tattoo Artist I get very frustrated when anyone tries to rush me. I have a system that works to include a full consultation to weed out impatient people. Every now and then an impatient gets through and its awful.
Oh gosh that would be a very frustrating situation considering the precision involved in that kind of work!
Probably the most frustrating thing is that in most situations, I have already planned out the most optimal strategy, so having someone else come in and introduce a new variable is like having someone throw a monkey wrench into a well oiled machine, which will only derail the process and make things take longer than they should. It's like if you're trying to juggle and someone randomly throws a ball at you. My go-to solution to this problem is instead of yielding to their pressure to speed up, I intentionally slow down and focus on what I'm doing while completely ignoring that other person as if they don't exist.
When I'm being rushed it automatically feels like I'm being setup for failure, because I can't make the best out of the situation by considering/examining/perfecting everything that is at stake. My brain just shuts down and I can feel paralyzed, like I'm already giving up on the task ; because I guess, might as well not bother to try if it's not gonna be good enough.
Exactly!
I don't even like dealing with my credit card, wallet, and receipt. Please do not add in cash or change. The change goes in a completely separate change purse, the cash in a separate part of my wallet, and the receipt goes in some bag where it won't get wet. I will go as fast as I can, but don't hand me a million things at check out.
I also am completely inefficient at self check out because I need to pack bags perfectly, and the bags never open, I can lick my fingers because of the damn masks, etc.
I hate shopping.
Shopping is terrible. If I can't order it online I don't need it lol
Another truism that helps here, "Slow is smooth, smooth is fast"
I have a golden rule which has really helped me to learn new ways of dealing with the world: I do not rush at weekends.
I will purposefully slow down and take my time with tasks e.g chores, visiting people, cooking etc. Normally in the working week I whizz through these things and do not really register them and that kind of energy leads to burn out fast.
When I do slow down I find I have more time to build efficiency in during the working week. I'll do thoughtful forward prep for working week me and it makes me feel a lot better.
Maybe this will help someone else out there, idk...
LOVE that rule. I try to do that on sundays, for half the day.
So true. I am alone during the day--even then, I try to empty and re-load the dishwasher and make a cup of tea and a snack in an as efficient manner as possible. And I feel stressed when I make an obvious 'mistake'--like going to the fridge twice for milk and cheese, or whatever. All of this pressure is manufactured by me and me alone.
Wow, I do it too. I feel stressed when I even do too "many" clicks when I could optimize it. Ex: delete each word separately instead of using ctrl+A
I do something similar but have started to purposely zoom out my perspective when that happens and look at long term optimization to realize how insignificant the short term optimizations really are. Go to the fridge 3 extra times. In the big picture it won’t matter.
YES... we manufacture it. It isn't real, but it seems so real. It feels like a sin to waste time with an incorrect flow of matter through space.
I took up ice skatiing to work on my Se. - Was going really well last couple weeks till as i was on my own in the class - yesterday i was joined by 3 other noobs and now the coach is coaching a bigger group with in the class thats way ahead of me. - Needless to say II felt rushed and BANG > toe pick > back slam > and now im lying here wiith a strained back and neck and in a LOT of pain - exactly as i predicted. Now i'm going to go to my own corner of the lesson and do my own thing in my own way or get private coaching.
As an INTJ, I also can’t stand to be rushed. Great video as always.
Always a pleasure seeing you here Frank!
I don’t like to be rushed that’s why I always plan and think ahead 🙂
We are not being rude; we have things to take care of too. Ex fast food drive-throughs, I know they are being timed and want you driving off the second their windows closes; I have been told this. But; I have to put my money away & the receipts as well as put my straw in my drink. This is my side of the previous transaction and are things I cannot do while driving or walking. This should not be seen as polite or rude. THEY CAN WAIT.
Anyone else see messages to 'rush or make this thing' and then internalize this and not reply immediately? Yet are of course working on the item in question? sometimes I don't even like to respond to status updates because that in itself is too much external energy. but just know I got you. I Like to reply with here it is, not I'm working on it.
Yes lol
YES! this, "they can wait" I always say that to myself lately. and be as sloth as I can be. made my anxiety way down.
Being efficient and relatively fast, I rarely get rushed, but when it happens it really hits like you described it, thanks
I hate when cashiers do that.... yea people can wait but i still get kinda anxious knowing that people are behind me so what i do is just throw everything into my grocery bag or purse (whichever is easier) and then sort things out later quietly in peace 😌 It’s self-inflicted temporary chaos that i think is better than dealing with outside chaos from others which i don’t have control over 🙃
They can wait. I love this! This perspective changes things. Spot on once again. Thank you for sharing! INTJ.
This describes me me completely. Don't rush me, and I will actually complete a task Faster. There are mainly 2 reasons for this, as I see it. #1, I like to take my time to ensure EVERYTHING is done in a manner that it should be. And Secondly, I have always had an issue with "authority"...if I think someone Wants me to do a certain task, it makes me not want to do it. That one I've had to learn to deal with in the adult world.
One time I was at the supermarket putting my items on the belt, and as I started unloading my last bag a woman came up behind me and started putting her own stuff on as well. I said 'I'm not done yet" but she just stared at me. I had to physically hand her stuff back to her to make room for my shopping, and she got weird about it. Unobservant people.
You can't rush perfection! #1 response on ppl who try to rush me and the perfection process
Thank you and yes! Unless there is a real emergency do not rush me!
👽🙌🏻
As an intj with cashier experience, I can attest to the frustration on the other end when flow is not optimal, and I would try to make the experience faster and better for ppl. But I can agree and assure you, they Can wait.
They CAN wait. It’s no biggie. Think how many people we’ve all waited on who don’t actually care about anyone else being affected by their conceited actions. If you’re ruining someone’s day because you needed a few extra seconds to put your money back in your wallet at the counter, that person is already beyond having a ruined day.
🙌🏻
Spot on was just thinking about this very same thing. You can choose between staying calm and sticking to the plan. Waiting for more facts before you decide to draw a conclusion or make a decision.
Or you can cave into emotional extroverted preassures and hurry up which ussually makes you make a worse decision or clouds judgment.
Absolutely. On another note, INTJs need extended time on tests. This is just the way we work. We want to be thorough yet precise and ultimately 100% accurate (we really care on a personal level about what we're entering as the answer); melding the two in perfect balance takes some time, but it is still bound by a legitimate time constraint, especially with respect to standardized tests. It's frustrating to me that we're expected to perform academically under a standard that isn't optimal for communicating to the teacher/school/board what we know.
It's happening to me right now, thanks for making this video. I wondered if other INTJs also felt the same. This is good, thank you.
Why am I crying while watching this? As an INTJ, I should really remind myself that I can take my time. I am always afraid that if I delay a decision or action, I am losing time and other things I am not aware of. I guess I have to think of the best formula to do things more efficiently. Thank you for this video!!!
My pleasure Mercy
i thought i was the only one feeling rushed when paying for groceries :D having someone with you who can lend a helping hand would be ideal, that made me realize why when i go with my dad things go smoothly because we divide the tasks
It's funny, I RARELY even have cash on me for this very reason. It's not that I have an aversion to carrying cash, it's that I don't want to deal with the change, which pocket it goes in, etc....As for being rushed, I completely understand. I break a decision (such as a purchasing decision) down into steps. Step 1, research online. Step 2, go to a store and look at the items in person. Touch, examine, look at the package, decide it's not quite what I want. Return to step 1. After doing more research, there is no product in existence that does what I want, so ultimately the original item is the closest I'll get. Step 3, order on Amazon. Just an FYI, a really big purchase such as a car, house, boat, whatever can take up to 2 years of decisions. This has led me to buy expensive, high quality things since I know to replace it will be a headache and Se overload.
I can relate as an INFJ with inferior Se overwhelm. Great video!
I relate to this so much. If faced with a task that I care about, I always put it off, procrastinate, or spend ages thinking about it before delving into it because it's so much more comforting to remain in the introverted functions, because I can already anticipate how perfectionistic I'll attempt to be once focused on it and that stresses me out.
It's hard to not want to bring order to chaos...but is so relieving to let it go...
Love this video thanks LiJo! This is so true; I hate being rushed in life, and yet once I am forced to finish something in rush and if the result is not what I or other person want, I got frustrated and annoyed, the anxiety and anger eats me a bit inside. Luckily, my wife told me that I need to relax and they can wait. Bless her :D
Lots of good insights here. As an INTJ, I have to slot every new piece of information or new process into my existing understanding of how the world works. This takes a little time, but once it’s there, it’s there permanently. If I’m rushed, it feels like driving off with something balanced on the car roof instead of it being safe in the trunk.
Of course! I usually start dressing up an hour earlier whenever I gotta go somewhere so, I can plan few things on my way.
Really great idea you shared. Will use it. May give me some peace of mind when thing's don't go as planned.
I’m so glad someone put it into words ha!
Resonated pretty well with me - I have also recently learnt this. Have been through lot of anxiety and name-calling due to this, but acceptance on my part has made life easier.
"Keep the change."
[Please. YOU'D be the one doing ME (and everyone behind me) the favor.]
I so appreciate your education on INTJs! I'm in a new relationship with an INTJ and as an INFP it can be really difficult for me to intuit what's happening in his head. I've been watching your videos to help increase my ability to empathize with him. You're awesome!
Awesome you are seeking to understand him better!
As the sensory channels are running close to max all the time, to ‘speed’ up either puts the sensory channels into overload with random items being dropped or I have to consciously decide what channels can be dropped to keep it manageable. Dropping inputs makes me feel like my output is subpar which is unpleasant, however in reality others probably don’t notice since they aren’t aware of what I left out. I have to remind myself of this disparity that exists between my brain and what others see and hear from me and that is ok to let the brain go into idle for a while and avoid mansplaining.
Yes.
I quit a part time job because of this.
I was hired with few hours, for 3 months. I went to work 2-3 days tops a week, so they didn't fully teach me how the meals were prepared. When I wanted to learn, due to that I was only the days they were fully booked, they couldn't teach me properly. So when they put me to prepare the meals, they change me to the grill. Which is fine to me. I prefered pour the meat and give them to make the meals.
The restaurant had to close because of the building had to get better.
I was relocated to other restaurant from the franchise (It wasn't fast food)
The first day, they had everything set in a different place and they didn't need the amount of stuff that in the one I was.
So I had to do the job of two and fast.
The supervisor was the mother of the founder, so.... It was a disaster.
I felt like a total failure. Incapable of doing nothing. Useless. Slowing the team. I knew that the next time it would be worse, because she didn't have patience and she was like: you already have to know how to prep the meals.
And I explained her what happened: I did one job not 2 or three at the same time.
I was in the Salad preparation and had to clead my place. Ok.
But there I had to set the salads, wash the dishes and refill the meat, taking it from the freezer in the storage.
I was lost😅
But in that restaurant were 4 instead of 12 people to do the job, because it was smaller and it has never been fully booked as the other one. So, she was mad with me. It was my fault after all.
If the attacks were in a personal level, I wouldn't mind, but working? Oh no.
Due to that, the next interactions were more than akward, I quitted, because they even cut more hours.
I worked 15h-20h and now 4h-8h per week.
Bye.
-intj female.
(It is a large rant, I know. I quitted, studied a short certificate from the government and working in a big company now, in a desk.
Much better😌. The next step is grow my hustle job and make the business flourish to quit this one and focus on mine)
(ISTP) As a savior Se, the INTJ's in my life really appreciate the things I do for them in the real world. And since I enjoy making them feel good (Fe) I do so in abundance! In turn, where I'm all about the moment, they use their Ni to help me feel grounded in the progress of things moving forward.
As an INFJ, I can 100% relate😩
GOOD TO SEE that this happens to other INTJs. not that its good that it happens but its comforting to know that this happens to more than just me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)
it is ABSOLUTELY ALL in our quest for perfection (i know...) BUT, also KNOW that it happens to other people, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not that that ^ makes it excusable but; KNOW that even though perfection ABSOLUTELY IS something to aim for, it EXTRAORDINARILY RARELY EVER occurs...
regardless of the above ^, KNOW in spite of all that could go wrong as long as YOU FEEL you are exerting your best effort and even though it may not be 'perfect'; then thats still THE BEST THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE considering the restraints of the situation.
THAT ^ VERY thought comforts me in such times. i KNOW.
ABSOLUTELY.
FOR SURE.
It's our reality!
Excellent video Lindsay! I feel exactly like this when I go shopping. I rush myself because I think others are rushing me and then everything goes wrong LOL but them can rlly wait!! - INTJ
"they can wait" it's gonna be my new mantra now on
This resonates. I hate being rushed because people don't understand that I already figured out how much time I need to do whatever I'm doing and their rushing me isn't going to change that, it's only going to stress me out.
Also, I never realized this was an INTJ thing. I can be impatient too though😂
Story of my life. I've realized though that sometimes it's my own Te that projects the need for rush to other people's requests. They CAN wait, they're even willing to wait and don't expect my immediate reaction, note taken, now I need to practice more.
I love INTJ's! One of the few I can actually vibe with, relate to, and bounce ideas off one another. One of the best things I love about INTJ is that they are unapologetically, defiantly themselves and great independent thinkers.
"Do not disturb me." Also enrages me to the ground as an INTJ, I feel an urge to scream an beat at the person who did this to me and I'm pretty sure they notice it because it's written all over my face.
What I can't stand is when they put the paper money in your hand and then put the coins on top so that they just slide right off onto the floor. People don't think anymore, neither the cashiers nor the supervisors. In the "old days" cashiers were taught how to give change back. And I never let them keep the change.
I’m not an INTJ but I hate being rushed too. When people rush me, I freeze and screw up more I just get more nervous I need to do things at my own time. It’s like my brain freezes.
And that “they can wait” comment, is so true, and so easy to forget. I hate my Fe. I wish I was a selfish prick 😂
@Has Goodles Are you an INFJ or guessing that I am? Because yes I’m an INFJ lol
I can really relate to this but with FE rather than TE! I hate the same scenario but it's more about stresses of what other people will be thinking and how I might be disrupting their flow rather than my own. Why do they put change on top of the receipt in one hand, I always hated that so much. You have the bag of purchased items in the other hand. I used to just close my hand and scurry to a wall to sort myself out afterwards. Why such stress over such a stupid little thing? 😂
Yes I think it's very similar for those with Ni on top :)
the change on top of the receipt is probably efficient way for the cashier but is so impractical from the customer's perspective, like you have to have the second hand free to put the change in that second hand, then put the receipt into the bag, then put the change into the wallet
it takes more time then handing the change and the receipt one by one
can't agree more. tbh I won't shift this blame to others, BUT just a self-observation, most of the time when people rushed me, I would be less on-time and more stressed. yet if no ones rush me at all, things are always on the right track and well done.
I hate being rushed, especially when I want to articulate my thoughts clearly. some friends like to rush on a conversation/debate or rush to get my opinion, i become less willing to talk with them. "Give my brain time, bro."
It’s totally the same for me INFJ.
_Younger, when parents wanted me to do things I don’t want to do, or told me at the last minute « we go, you come » (what, where, to do what, to see who, I don’t want, I am not prepared physically and mentally for this)
_During my last 9 years relationship with an ENTJ (was a good relationship for me) I hated when he told me « there is party this evening » we had to eat fast, prepare fast.
I am a very calm and quiet person, don’t afraid me, or rush me with no meaningful or useless stuff. My heart may race. Rush me is one of the thing which can make me upset and angry. Give me the time to prepare physically and mentally, if it the case I want do it. My time, my energy are important.
Lol, I'm intp and I hate being rushed as well. I have noticed it mostly since being married to an istp. Now it makes sense. His high Se and my low Se don't mix in these situations. With my Si third slot I definitely care about getting places on time. But it's my inferior Fe that makes me feel like I have to cater to other people. If someone wants to get going and I'm not ready, I'm disappointing/annoying them. If I'm fumbling at the register and the person behind me is being pushy, I feel like I have to hurry so they can be on their way.
I feel that the physical world intrudes upon my interior world when I'm being rushed. Maybe being an intuitive doesn't help. Or maybe for me, it's the Ti not wanting to be rushed?
And yes, I actually will probably be faster if I am not being rushed by another person because I won't have that extra anxiety.
"They can wait"
*mind blown* lol
Ha! This was seriously my thing as a kid (and now at times). You could never rush me to do anything.
So if I understand correctly, the Te basically shuts down when rushed which leads to all sorts of inefficiencies.
Any kind of chaos will do this, ergo, anyone deliberately introducing chaos into the life of the INTJ, whether personally or ideologically, will typically be met with appropriate scorn and derision.
I would say Te recognizes that "rushing" is occuring because the situation isn't externally working optimally. Ni knows things can't be done faster because if its clumsy nature with Se and therefore the pressure is assumed as real.
As an INTJ I always had the same thing. Very relateable. Untill I started playing high speed strategy games with strict time limits like Chess and Poker. (speed versions)
Helped me a lot getting over this 'rushed' feeling in more common every day situations.
Learning how to make discisions fast as INTJ = superpower!
I love poker, heads up hold 'em 🙌🏻
Hello internet friend LiJo. If I understand function stacks correctly, it might be because of INTJs demon Se. As Objective Personality put it(better than I can put it), it's okay to take guesses. And as you said, it's okay to wait as well. I'd refrain commenting on someone that I don't know anything about any further but please assume this is a good gesture to show you some support towards your process of personality growth. :)
Then I'd want to rant as well. As an IxxP, I also don't like people rushing and telling me what to do. It's not like I don't know what to do or when to rush, it's simply not the moment to decide yet. For example, I want to buy something. Whilst I'm browsing, someone tells me 'Just buy it'. For me, buying an item is not as simple as that. It needs to be supported with why I'm buying one, do I need one, what's the economical benefit/utility it has, is it the best I could get in the market, etc. At the end, it is still I, whom needs to pay for that item and use it. If I were to get some groceries, when there's so many choices, I'd pull up my calculator and begin to kick in weight to price ratios. Lol someone rushing me through that surely gonna be annoyed big time.
I hate how teachers rush kids to solve faster using byhearted techniques, while I prefer to work on it logically.
I need to save my energy. I need to be prepared for any future events. It’s the reason I hate rush. And I hate people telling me what to do or how to do if I already know it.
Because i was small for my age, except my mouth, i had a lot of problems with these bullies. But i used these same bullies in my work, when i was designing something, to protect me from these ever demanding project managers...
I haven't watched the whole video yet (so INTJ)but I know what this is all about and I just ranted about this in front of my co-workers yesterday.
Because I don't like conflict I don't kick back at people pressuring me or behaving impolitely to me when I probably should.
Omg...this resonates perfectly with how I feel everytime I have to pass thru security before taking a flight..I plan ahead and have the process defined and played out in my brain but it always feels rushed and overwhelming.
This is gold 💛⭐
When I was in high school, PE was a nightmare some days. Se overload; in a game of kick ball, I dropped the ball like 4 times when it was kicked to me in outfield. Similar to your currency analogy lol
I can relate to feeling rushed in line but for me it comes from a different place. As an ENTP, I feel the social pressure of the expected time to move along, which I assume is coming from Fe. Although we can rush folks on ideation, I also dislike being rushed from ideation to execution before we’ve thought it through (even if “it” is something I don’t care about). I’ll try to be a bit more patient with those who don’t answer questions rapidly because that’s where I get impatient (cringe at the pregnant pause).
Gosh...I relate so much. I literally predicted she would say that telling an intj to not rush would actually make us go faster cause that’s how I feel
Hahah you know it 🖤
Yes! The cashier example is what I've thought about so much.
I deliberately try to not be rushed. It's so hard to focus when people are breathing over your shoulder. Covid doesn't make it any easier too.
The other thing is, Ni is screaming at me "Society shouldn't be this way/people need to have more patience." So I set the example based on my moral princicples. And I appear to be an ass with no situational awareness. The truth is far from that.
Honesty when people try to rush an INTJ it has the opposite effect. It gives us more information to process. Our brains are already designed for efficiency.
I beleive in doing things as fast as possible. But that doesn't mean I do them quickly.
Yess - I want to do them fast, I know that is the best way, execution wise however 😬
If I feel rushed to do something or like I’m not in control of the timeline I either ignore the request completely or I tell whoever is requesting said action item “Don’t tell me what to do”, within reason, of course. I was thinking about inferior Se the other day and I always feel rushed getting out of the car because I have to get all my sensory stuff together before I can get out of the car, and nine times out of ten my husband is waiting for me to get out of the car. Thank you for sharing!!
Recently I had this incident where I was rushed by cashier to the point where he was being rude and I ended up paying him extra. I got really mad and then I decided to work on a mental blueprint that allows me to efficiently deal with rushed situations. Though its still in initial stage, I can see better results already.
Yes!! Thank you.
Don't rush me my mind is processing what the next move should be lmao.
THIS
I THOUGHT I WAS JUST WEIRD FOR NOT WANTING TO CARRY CASH/CHANGE!
This clicks so hard in regards to to me taking so long to accomplish my tasks, especially anything in regards to Se. I worked as a refrigeration technician for about a year, and MAN was my hand speed SLOW... It felt like I had to absolutely orient every single thing before allowing myself to just do the thing. Reflecting on it now, it definitely felt like I was so anxious about my dexterity, not wanting to break something in my process of trying fix the thing. I kept looping through procedure in my head and being fidgety before just gritting my teeth and working. I know my supervisor at the time also caught on to how I would hyper focus on the problem without thinking of Se solutions... like something as simple and setting a jig to work as efficiently as possible without me having to try to control everything (would make me envy octopuses because of having 8 arms) I had never considered that solution by my analysis because I was so focused on the mental gymnastics of how I would contorted myself to fit the environment, rather than utilizing my environment to make my job easier for me.
I always doubted myself being an INTJ, but that was at such a surface and shallow level, the more I learn about MBTI and functions with the Function stack, SO MUCH MORE MAKES SENSE IN MY LIFE.
So glad you found it helpful. Yes I’m all about the functions, I couldn’t care less about the Mbti “16 personalities” archetype bullshit lol.
@@InternetLiJo Thank you for producing this content, it's incredibly eye opening seeing the process from the outside in. Even though we have the ability to shift perspectives, we still fall victim to being creatures of our own habits and definitely continue to have our own blind spots. My wife is an ISTJ, and I'm sure I've been bugging the crap out of her with all of my questioning of, "Aw geez... do I do this? What about that? I'm so sorry if I end up doing X!"
Wow. When I was asked to contribute for a case study I was surprised my partner was done writing a draft. Like what? But when I saw it, partner wrote irrelevant and unnecessary info which discouraged me to continue workin on it bec I know it'd just end up with compromised quality. While it has benefits, mental rush also has tons of setbacks.
I hate rushing and i hate giving pressure so
Yes.
My biggest example of this is dealing with South Carolina drivers tailgating me. I have had SOOOO much practice dealing with "they can wait" 😂😂
I am so calm now with someone else trying to rush me. Especially since I put a bumper sticker on my car that says, "do you follow Jesus this close?" 😏
Haha I resonate with the Cashier scenario so much. I almost always feel that way at the store
Ahhhhh it’s real
Just because you can’t Se, doesn’t mean you should get overwhelmed by pressure from your Te. Yes 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I’m just happy the intro music is back.
I feel like my last comment was seen:)
Lol it was. 😉
Do you always know the right things to say or did it take years of practice? Lol
This happens to me at work a lot of times, I have a timeline to do a project and suddenly that changes so i have to do it half the time. Then i rush and somewhere in all that rushing i see everything going wrong becouse of this rushing and thats when i take a timeout. Then i tell them to stuff this new plan where the sun doesn't shine.
I have to send this video to my mom. We know what we're doing, why won't they leave us alone?
I have had friends who left the store because I couldn't choose, 😂
Lol I do that to people who take too long as well deciding what they want
this is why I now always just take a snickers, it's the best option, it has everything
Great topic, looking forward to it!!
INTJ, 66yrs, still hate it AND I hate it even more now!