I guarantee that anyone who got offended by this video are indeed guilty of being the type of coworkers I described. I GUARANTEE IT!!! Why would anyone get offended off of information given about how the workplace can be if it's helpful? If none of what I spoke about in this video message applies to you then keep moving forward. Not one person should be considered bitter, antisocial, rude or not a "team player" because they choose to stay to themselves in the workplace. You go to work to showcase your gift, skill, talent and ability for the job title you were hired for. Work is not for anyone to spread rumors, slander, compete with, gossip about, become intimate and romantically involved with their employee's or co-workers. Period! I'm not saying to not be civil. Saying good morning, good afternoon or good evening, depending on what shift you work is in order. However, having conversations that aren't work related isn't mandatory 😒. Keep it professional. For those of you who are speaking on your experience as far as working from home and you claim you don't go through anything I spoke about in this video GREAT FOR YOU! Make no mistake, I know several people who work from home and go through the same things people go through who are physically at work! Arguments...gossip... jealousy...competition... and inappropriate things are rampant with some folks who work from home. Also, certain things are said through emails... remote meetings...or done behind the scenes between employees, supervisors/bosses who work from home. Don't be ignorant to this. If anyone of you have found true love and marriage from meeting a great person at work good for you! Don't assume that everyone will have that experience. If anyone of you have developed awesome friendships with a few coworkers then great for you! These things are possible but not for everyone...it's a case by case basis🤷🏽♀️. Overall, your focus should still be to do your job, get a check and go home once the shift is over. Getting personal on any level is not an obligation of yours. Set boundaries with your co-worker's with no guilt. Don't be manipulated and made to feel guilty because you don't tell your personal business. Everyone is at different levels mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, therefore, getting comfortable and trusting that your coworkers are all trustworthy, honorable and mature is the very thing that could possibly cause you to get hurt, mistreated, offended or even fired after realizing they're not who you expected them to be. Now Get back to work guys! Break is over 😂😅🤭😆
@@adrienneroxanne9833 right!!! So many people don't seem to understand this! This should be common knowledge. Unfortunately so many people go into the workplace to find someone they can get physical with, kick it with or they have a very bad habit of comparing themselves to others. The amount of insecure, jealous, mentally ill and emotionally unstable people I encountered at my old job was unbelievable!
I was always told at work that I was "too quiet" because I treated my co-workers with extreme caution and did not seek to over-socialise with them, if I did not have to. The fact that they found me too quiet meant that they did not know enough of my business, and I was content to have it remain that way.
I actually got written up for acting the way that this content creator is encouraging people to be at work by my ex-boss & an ex-coworker who not only stole a promotion that was meant for me, but she was more than happy to be my married ex-boss's mistress. Can you imagine that?!
Yeah they treat me like an outcast too but they have treated me this way my whole life. Co workers are sneaky they pulled a covid test on me recently and I didn't know I had it of course they sent me home for five days. I'm not even sure what will happen next but I'm thinking of changing jobs if it goes away. I don't want to be at a place were the workers see an outcast as disposable. If it were up to me I'd never work I'd just have money and exsist. I knew they were always awkward around me I'm not going to quit right away over these people and I know they meant well but when they told me I could get sick pay I wasn't sure if I believed it or not because of the way they pulled it on me they keep saying, "no your fine it will be okay!" Right this was planned and to be honest it was kind of hypothetical because sometimes our boss would show up sick too.
I'm finding middle aged women being the worst to deal with at work. They smile in each other's face and stab each other in the back. It's so much gossiping and wanting to know everybody's business and judges people all the time. It's also that one person who is the common denominator that knows and tells everybody's business.
Yes!!! I worked a job where a team lead was always in everybody's business! She felt she was entitled to know everything you had going on at work and outside of work. When people started acting funny around me or other people come to find out it was because of her spreading rumors and lying on particular ones so they could be mistreated. I have never understood why people at work hang out with each other and tell their business to one another. It's so weird and cringey.
Yes! My boss is full of shit and fake. I choose not to get personal with him. He runs his mouth a lot like a little high schoolers. I go to work and get my check. Trust no one that runs their mouth about others. Those are the shit distributors.
@BB23573 I can feel the fake energy from people so I understand you ! I was so In a bad mood because my leadership didn't give us clear guidance yesterday so now I'm going to do things own my own until I get out of this contract
My grandma always told me that i do not have to over explain myself. This stuck with me all my life. As i got older I was lowkey and quiet at school and at work. People even accused me of being mean. Im not mean i just dont owe you anything.
Whenever I hear "We are like a Family here" it's a HUGE red flag for me! 🚩🚩🚩 I have my own family, I don't need more relatives, I'm here to do my job and get money for that, nothing more.
1000% agreed. If this is what a family looks like, a hot, dysfunctional mess full of fakes and frauds, naaa y'all can have that. I'm good with my real family who would never throw me under the bus and try to tarnish my reputation. Again, I'm good 👍🏾
Through my experience, those are the worst kind of people to work with. It means they can be nasty to you because they were taught to say that to new employees.
A word to the wise....don't even give them your home address. They are not your friends and you don' want them coming around your home. Trust me on this one
I hated when my supervisor (woman) said we are like a family.... i said "no we are not, just cause i work here dont mean we gonna have picnics together". They hated me for it, i dont give a rats ass 😂😂😂 happy me happy to be free
If you ever hear your boss or company say that to you just know its some BS within that company. They're great at pretending to care about you. They literally don't care anything about you
Yes that is the most toxic sh to say. My job says that too..I'm not family with not 1 person in that building & they don't need to act like I am towards them either!
Lmao😆😜🤪 brotherCarlos6944, you speak so much truth in that situation. So glad you called out the shady supervisor in front of everyone. Most super- visors are messy like the co-workers.
Well, to some point the Supervisor is right Though lol. Your own genetically family member(s) can B like total strangers & ppl you refuse to be around, Family members act just the same sad but true.
I had to call the Police on one of my coworkers who thought he could cuss me out, yell at me and make threats to me almost everyday for years!! Enough is enough!! This man is on drugs and has no morals or empathy for anyone. He yells and curses out the manager and the owner. They act like they are afraid of him.😢The Police officer told him not to say anything to me. I have never been on a personal level with this man. I watch him from afar...he is not to be trusted!!
@@lindarobinson1980 Im so sorry I can't be around junkies that use drugs and people who smoke and drink I can't babysit those people anymore and they say horrible things and start touching. It's disgusting..
Yup! I have a family member who is literally suffering from PTSD and paranoia bc of being bullied and belittled at work. The situation happened a little over s decade ago and they are STILL struggling.
I agree with all this. A lot of people are WAY TOO QUICK to get close to their coworkers and call them "friends". It's giving, "DESPERATE FOR FRIENDSHIP". It's giving, "I have a high school mindset." It's giving, "I NEED ATTENTION." Like EWW. People need to learn how to walk alone sometimes especially at work. This is why I stay to myself at work. Some people are fake AF.
Every word you spoke is so true. What's crazy to me is how you'll hear coworkers say they aren't friends with anybody at work but they're constantly in each other's faces, telling all of their business to each other and getting personal. Its so weird! I don't even believe in sitting with coworkers and eating lunch with them. I go my separate way. Real talk!
@@missctolbertvoh Facts. I STAY TO MYSELF. Now I'm not rude, I do speak when spoken to. And I make conversation SOMETIMES ABOUT WORK ONLY lol...but trust and believe it's only with like three people. Everybody else at my job is either attention-starved, childish, weird, or just damn ANNOYING.
I feel you! I never fit in anyway so I'm not mad about not connecting with people in the workplace, church, certain family members and people I went to school with. I like going and coming alone. I have never been a entourage or clickish type of person. NEVER
@@missctolbertvoh Me neither. Ignorant people think you're stuck-up when you don't talk to them. I'll be that... if it means not associating myself with bs.
@@cj8803you are 100% right. Is this lady at my job and she's really starving for attention because everywhere I go she's talking and laughing with somebody. It's very rare that I see her by herself. She's always trying to ask me questions about my personal life I'm like why do you need to know that??? I'm here to work this is not a club lol.
Be friendly, not friends. Keep it strictly professional. I learned this the hard way. Your colleagues aren't your friends and they don't care about you. Remain loyal to yourself and don't break your back for a company that doesn't give a damn about you.
It's definitely not. People you work with tend to be extremely fake and phony. They love to make comparisons between you and them. They believe just because you work at the same place as them that it's no way you can have other things going on outside of that job so that you're not a slave to that job!
This is part of why I became a truck driver. I'm so tired of fake, gossipy, messy coworkers I didn't know what to damn do! I'm a loner and an introvert. A solo job where I'm alone with my thoughts is perfect for me. I can read people pretty well, and most people in the workplace are fake and cunning. I don't have time.
Oh myyy . I love this and totally relate. I am an introvert and love my alone time as well !! I was looking ways to be a truck driver for this sole reason . I am in corporate right now
I thought it was just me ima introvert to and a loner also I hate drama and fake ppl also so I just stay to myself altogether u know what's crazy it bothers ppl when they see I'm unbothered the most ppl can't stand that
Those are definitely the ones being who gossip and they're very messy. They typically are also the ones who do inappropriate things behind the scenes as well!
she is 100 percent correct when co-workers keep asking about information about you without telling information about themselves, its a major red-flag. This means their looking for information as future leverage, remember never feel pressured into telling personal information about you or your life story. Never give folks information about yourself to a person who won't do the same.
I literally only keep conversations 10 seconds and under and I walk AWAY! I dont even tell ppl my name. I give them the first LETTER. That's all u getting. You not about to get info on me so u can try to destroy it later. Fricking narcissists!!!
I remember when I got a room for New Year's Eve downtown somewhere and had a good time and I happened to take off around that time and when people ask me what I did I said nothing😂 stay out of my bidness
I learned this the hard way when I was working in the prison system. The cliques, the sycophants and the two-faced coworkers made my job a living hell. It’s pretty sad when the inmates had a stronger moral code than the staff members.
Neighbors are this way too. Just cause we live next door or near each other doesn’t mean I have to get to know you or tell you my business. Loved this video ❤
I moved in my home in 2022. My neighbor allows her 9 year old daughter to come to my house uninvited to play with my 15yo daughter. It irritates my daughter so I told her that she does not have to feel obligated to play with the child so she stopped answering the door. Now the mom has an attitude because we don’t want to be bothered with her child. Oh well, seems like a personal problem for her.
Like I still talk to people at work but I just be nice and just keep it only about work. I don't hang with anyone no more from work. It's just safer that way and it saves any drama from occurring. 🖤
Ruthless rules to follow: 1) Any job u work at observe everyone 2)Understand the hierarchy 3) label everyone and sort out jesters and two face ghouls 4) have a 3-5 year plan 5) share only need to know stuff 6)hate all equally 7) keep to urself …be fair and just 8) record everything …. 9) get urself certs and Roth IRA, etc set up 10) be ruthlessly practical is all you do …so do only what’s in your job description !! 11) learn to pivot 12) understand u work in a dirty pond with dirty fish poo avoid drama but record and have a paper trail ! 13) have a set of headphones 🎧
@@littwerker2281 It the only way I can be nice I have cussed people out Yelled at them Even chased someone out the office All because they thought they could try me the quiet one I have headphones and backup AirPods So I AcT Right :)
@@Shineynsparkles baby listen, I used to serve them a double dose of everything they tried to give me, LOL! now i always kept it 'cute' (never giving them any ammo to use against me), but I'm an elder now, so I used to work with a lot of "Karens" before it became a thing, and I kept them hot & flustered because my work was untouchable! But I've mellowed a bit now (as I draw nigh to retirement).
This video is absolutely 100%. Also, when you present yourself as someone who's just there to work only, they take offense and gang up on you. All of a sudden, there's a coldness amongst all of them.
This! Im going through this now. Even when i try to do the minimum of smiling and saying hi, they ignore me. Stone faced and cold, like they cant stand me all because I dont tell my business or want to be more than a coworker
Office politics is like high school. You need a clique to survive. You need a group. That's the game. You need to find a coworker or friend to hook you up.
I once had a "friend" at a job. She would confide in me and complain about her boss. I would complain to her about certain managers too and tell her other things I didn't like. Until one day, it was becoming obvious that I may be possibly promoted to a position that she wanted. Then, she turned into the most cut throat person I have ever seen. I get called into the bosses office and she is sitting there with the other manager. She straight up told the main boss all of the stuff I had been telling her in private. She literally had written it down. Never in my life have I ever been so backstabbed. I never even knew what that felt like. It was such a betrayal. She literally told the boss in front of me and my jaw just dropped. That's when I learned that she wasn't my friend at all and if anything, she was literally trying to gather dirt on me to use it against me. I immediately started crying, excused myself and went home. I lost that job because of that. I learned a huge lesson that day. This video is very important for people to watch.
Same thing with dating a coworker. It is a risk that you two may be married, but at the same time, he or she can spread terrible secrets about you if you two separate or just have an argument.
I am 63 years old, and I just retired. You nailed it on the head! The amount of time spent gossiping, flirting, stabbing people in the back, it took so much productivity away from my department. It also made it extremely difficult for me to supervise people. Sometimes when we look at someone who is 35 or 40 we think that their maturity will match their age. We have to remember that some people have the social maturity of a 13 year old! Thank you ma’am for this wonderful video! I wish you much success!
Congrats on your retirement! Also, you hit the nail on the head- I'm in a toxic workplace, and when I tell friends about what goes on there, it's EXACTLY like telling stories about little kids in grade one picking on and torturing each other, NOT people in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s!
This is precisely why i never mustered the courage to take up a job for a single day in my life. I thank God and then my husband for that. Now, all i think about is how to prepare my 3 daughters for the inevitable.
I agree! Yet, many of these companies want employees to be "Team players" and hangout at lunch, after work, and such. If you decline and keep to yourself they see you as standoffish and not a team player... Then, they wanna pressure you into these activities. Employers want you to form closer connections with co-workers because they want you to be emotionally invested in that job\company. It's all psychological manipulation smh
They care nothing about you once you're gone. Only a couple will. I keep in contact with a couple of my former coworkers but several labeled me as a friend. It was fake.
Mine hung up on me this morning while I was telling her I was quitting after 3 days because the job isn't right for me, so I was informing them. No respect. I'm glad I dodged a bullet.
I laughed hard when she said people who seem to be friends will turn around and talk bad about each, because this is so true. I noticed that two colleagues who seemed to be buddy buddy both badmouthed each other when the other one was not around. People are so fake at work!
People will also set up to get information out of you as well. They start talking bad about that person to you and then the next day, they are in their face talking and laughing. Now that is very fake.
AMEN. I was so SICK of my coworkers wanting to know EVERYTHING about my life and asking all kind of personal questions. I knew DAMN WELL when I left that company, I would not be keeping in touch with ANY OF THEM.
So, not even when you meet the most amazing person there? Stuff like that does happen... thanks for showing me that there's more of you out there like the one that came and went out of my life for no reason! No hope in this world... 🤷♂️
You don't say anything, because they use it against you. But it is fun to screw with them a lil' if they truly are getting on your nerves, and slip in some misinformation. Some were actually getting smart to this last time I was in an office, and they would "warn" you about getting and digging up "the real truth" on you. It was a "we'll find out about you" vibe they had going on there and they'd say that and huddle in their little group too. Creepy folks if you ask me.
I'm dealing with one right now, and he's a weird black guy who calls himself a Christian, but I noticed that when I tell him ... ONE... thing.. he wants to know more and more about it. I just keep my space most of the time.
@@RTDon AMEN. I was so SICK of my coworkers wanting to know EVERYTHING about my life and asking all kind of personal questions. I knew DAMN WELL when I left that company, I would not be keeping in touch with ANY OF THEM.
Honey you have just described my entire work situation. They talk about me and treat me so bad because I keep to myself. They all flock together, then turn around and talk bad about one another. They're lazy and get mad when they have to do real work, it's disgusting. I go in and do my job and leave. They can't stand it. Everything you're speaking is the truth!
@anniewilkins2620, I am exactly the same way. I come to work mind my own business do my job and go home. I do speak to a couple of people along the way, but most I stay as far away from as I can. I eat lunch by myself, and they call me anti-sociable and I turn and say no! I'm anti-drama!!! I say I am here to do a job, to earn a paycheck so I can go home and pay my bills. I'm not here to be your friend or hang out with you at work and definitely not after work. I told a lot of people during my lifetime, that is how you stay free from toxic people and you just feel better and live longer not having to deal with that type of asinine drama!!
I could work somewhere for 5 years and they still dont know shit about me. If they know your middle name, your favorite color, or your mamas name then you've shared way too much already.
The people on my team like mixing their personal like with work. I’m not into that, but they make you feel like an outcast if you opt out of after work events.
They definitely start to spread rumors and make up stuff about you when separate yourself from them. I'll be an outcast. My last job was very toxic and messy. There were many of them who were extremely jealous and hateful. God snatched me right up outta there. I stayed in prayer about it. I found out a lot once I left.
I agree. They're mad because you don't WANT to rock with them. Which is the equivalent to a child mad at another child for not wanting to be their friend. I stay to myself for a reason.
This is so true. I opt out of going to an office Christmas party at my boss’s house last year. Everyone was bent out of shape to the max about it. They don’t like me and I clearly don’t like any of them. I keep to myself, get my work done and will continue to move in silence until I get a better job.
You seem just like me! I’m friendly enough, but I really don’t want any bs or drama at work. So a lot of people see me as rude and stand-offish. That’s fine with me. I know they aren’t real friends. Lunch time I want nothing to do with coworkers, I take my lunch alone and relax. I’m very careful who I trust, and I don’t befriend people who feed off of drama and gossip!
Yes!! Coworkers are definitely not your real friends. All people in the workplace do is try to compare what you have to what they have. Anything you tell them they use it against you or tell other people at the job then drama comes
Same her I want nothing to do with those people. I used to sit in my car durning lunch just to avoid people wanting to sit with me and start gossiping or trying to get to know me SMH. I work from home now thank god
People are so weird🤣 they getting their feelings because we don’t wanna socialize with them but when we do all they do is talk shit about the next person or complain.. like who would want to be around you in the first place
This happened to me she came to me so nice and ended up bullying me for yrs she died 2 yrs later from a failed tumny tuck. Its the ones that appear to be super nice end up being the worst ones.
I've been burned so many times trying to be friends with people at work over the years. I'm embracing keeping my personal life and work life separate now and not chasing colleagues, co-workers to spend time with me.
Same here. When I moved out of state, a co-worker who I thought was a friend was not. The supervisor was def a jealous hater. She hated the fact, I was very liked by her former boss who hired me. I surpassed them closing leads and wasn’t even there two weeks. Both of them were jealous that I had a loving and caring man that was proud to show me off. Whereas their bitter asses, were both begging their so called men to give them titles. It was so pathetic seeing them begging these men to be with them. (They would be on the phone and you can literally hear them asking) I would literally say to myself like focus on your kids, geez. 🙄 So being I’m older, I would tell them if a man really wants you, you don’t have to beg run or chase them. You two are smart and beautiful women. I was always positive and they were not. The supervisor fired me and couldn’t even give me a reason. All she kept saying I wasn’t a good fit. I’m glad she did, because the long term contract I ended up getting, I worked with 4 people and a manager and up to this day we all still cool. We were a small group and we all had our Caribbean culture in common. It was great vibes and no negative energy.
I was a good ceo for 30 years. I retired and there was lots of tears and goodbyes. All the ‘right things’ were said. I never heard from any of them after I left. I made people rich and well trained professionals. Made no deference.
You should reach out. Whether or not you believe it, your position might intimidate others a bit and make them hesitant to reach out. No one wants to bother the important person! Just something to consider ❤
I'm 36 and barely truly learning this lesson. I'm over trusting, forgive too easy, and chronically overshare (working on it). I'm starting a new job next week after basically getting bullied out of my job of TWELVE YEARS by a group of girls I legitimately thought were true friends. I'm watching this multiple times before I start the new place. They aren't your friends and will screw you in a heartbeat! Thank you for this great advice and reminder! ❤
I'm really sorry that you had to leave your job because of those horrid women. But yes, you MUST keep to yourself. You're there to do your job, earn that money, and go home. Personally, I think it's best to keep to one's self in general. There's a lot of rotten people in the world. I have a feeling that you're an extrovert and that's why you want to get to know people and speak to them, allowing them to learn about you. Please, you have to be strong and just look out for yourself. You can still be nice, just don't get personal. Best of luck.
I am a people’s person by nature, I have learned through the years that it’s best to just stay to yourself. They can be nosey and envious of you if you appear to have it all together. I have a few co workers that I will go out and have cocktails with them only because we have worked together for over 15 years. They are positive people and have proven themselves through the years to be genuine.
Amen. I had a former co worker and we was tight. I mean met my friends and family. Eventually she resigned and moved. We maintain contact for a little, mostly me doing the calling. She didn’t even invite me to her wedding and I was def hurt by that. However she found me years later on Facebook to just be nosey, told me bits and pieces of her life, but STAYED in mines. Her Facebook is on private so you can’t even see her page. I eventually blocked her on LinkedIn.
This shook my wig. You are so right! I’ve noticed a pattern with me being too nice, ESPECIALLY in healthcare. That is a very toxic environment. My recent and current healthcare job I’ve been on some selfish, “I know I’m doing my job right, and I can always go somewhere else if you don’t like it.” I’m loving this message and me being enigmatic vs bubbly to everybody. “The best way to win the game is to not play it.” Got my subscription.
I trained in nursing at a small community hospital where the staff was very incestuous; General Hospital had nothing on this place! It was a fun place to work, but everyone knew everyone else’s business, and the gossip mill was never short of fodder; dating a nurse put me in the mill for a time, and it was incredibly stressful. After graduation, I took a job where nobody knew me. The toxicity of clinical nursing drove me out of the field and into an insurance job after 8 years. Nurses are treated like crap wherever they go, but at least there are no bedpans, hateful visitors, or the requirement to work weekends, holidays and off-shifts.
As a health care worker myself, I feel this 10 million percent! I've been at my current job for about 5 and 1/2 years now, and almost from day one people were talking crap behind my back and spreading rumors about me. And to this day, 90% of my coworkers wonder why after 5 years, they still barely know anything about me. They wonder why I only keep my social media for family and friends outside of work. 🤔
Being honest, I never wanted to play the game. However, I am told if I don't play the political game you lose, no recognition, no promotions. That's why I am in the same position 10+ years. Seems like you have to play to get noticed and all companies are the same in my country so moving makes no difference better the devils you know, at least this way I know who to stay clear of.
I'm 53 and it took about 45 years on this earth to realize that you don't have friends at work, you have colleagues. I've had so many all aged work friends dump me once I change jobs and never understood why. I wish I'd known this from the time I was a teenager. Would have saved me a lot of effort and hurt feelings. I blame sitcoms for making it seem like your coworkers are your family, lol. So I love you for addressing this! You will save a lot of people a lot of time and effort. ❤
Thanks so much! Unfortunately some people were calling this horrible advice and bitterness if you stay to yourself in the workplace. They attempted to make this negative but I know they're probably the very type I described
Yup! I've been work friend "dumped"before and I thought she was my best friend. We did lots of stuff together out of work. I found new job and tried to keep in touch with her several times and she just ghosted. Never felt so used! She would even tell everybody around, this is my bestie!!! Ummmm no, you used me!! I'm glad I'm a stay at home mom now and don't have to deal with that!
@@Whocares158I worked as a server at my brother-in-laws restaurant 20 odd years ago..There was a server that worked Lunch shift til 5:00 with me. She definitely had the biggest mouth ever there, I purposely told her this long super made up story about something that happened to me & told her that it was between her & I Knowing that within one lousy Hour the entire restaurant including some of our regular costumers knew the tall I made up just to prove that she has the biggest Ass mouth ever!! It was such a far fetched story & the Dumb Ass believed & couldn't wait to tell the whole world!! I totally loved it!!! Maybe had I not said that this is confidential between you & I she may not of said anything??!!
YES! I just quit my job of 4-1/2yrs because it was detrimental to my spiritual health, my physical health and my mental health. God is the ONLY one that has my back in each of those areas. Amen!
I knew that wasn't a good idea many moons ago lol. Never ever I will. I had coworkers even wants to pay for the drinks I still tell them no. The Sup and few coworkers they went that night. Few days later I heard the SUP got fired for clocking in employees when the weren't at work the next morning lol. Actually they all got fired 5 of them
These are the same reasons why I chose a job working by myself. I get tired of people attitudes and childish behavior. I don't like gossip, I don't like insincerity and most of all fake personalities. Some days you think you cool with someone, next day you walk in the office and they looking at you funny. Bottom line is, it's hard to please people, people are unhappy in their personal lives and they want you to be unhappy too.
I’m 19 almost 20, fairly new to the workplace, been working at a grocery store for almost a year. Couldn’t agree more! I discovered just how hostile people can be in this job. I always lay low and remember I’m only there for a check.
I always view it as I have to personas Ive got cheerful welcoming customer service/work place then outside of work im just me but it makes it way easier for me to just withdraw from things that happen at work
I’m the same age as you and legit the same I’m here for money not to make friends! My job was so messy …grown people coming up to me asking me why I never talk to them so weird…lol
This is 100% true. I don’t know why people think just because we’re coworkers we are automatically friends. I told a coworker we weren’t friends and she got offended and kept telling everyone, “Renee said we’re not friends.” Ok we’re not friends. She forgot to tell them about all the ugly, snarky comments she made towards me. She forgot to tell them how she’s jealous of me. I tolerated her but when she left I blocked her everywhere. Coworkers are not your friends.
What a nightmare, even if they don't work directly with you. That way lies madness, and probably a chat with HR and your boss's boss. I know. I did that once. Never again, even when someone was interested in me (she was married, no thanks).
@@Cheerleader644860Metaphor. Think about how it could go wrong. Do you want your personnel life to be the work place gossip? How is the other party going to react if/when you break up? And most relationships break up. How will you get bad-mouthed/destroyed? You may be setting yourself up for needing to find another job.
I'm a 17-year-old male who is homeschooled and I've been struggling to understand workplace etiquette. Thanks for this invaluable information, I will keep this in mind! 👍
Never trust someone who freely shares intimate details about their lives. Also, be wary of gossip of all kinds. I would generally avoid talking about people who are not present, even if it doesn't seem that bad, because it can get bad very quickly. Avoid people who inflate the value of their own approval. Be wary of gifts, because a gift may make you feel obligated to that person somehow and can be used against. A gift is something given freely out of generosity, which you owe nothing for. Know your rights as a worker, look up HIPAA statutes and other workplace laws, especially about sick leave and discrimination
It depends on the job. In some careers, networking is required, so it’s best if one learns how to have professional relationships with clients and fellow employees without “dipping ones’s proverbial pen in the company’s ink” -crude but good metaphorical advice. Good luck in your endeavors. 🥂🖖🏼
I agree with you 100% Never let your guard down. Be friendly with coworkers, but don't be friends with fake people. Go to work and go home. Just do your job and keep to yourself
@@user-pn9xp1gz2l exactly why not make convo its just you'd want someone to answer you abt things not abt work if you had some not about work. You made friends in school high school etc at church why ppl feel the need to ignore ppl when talking to you and you might make new friends. Everybody doesn't have fake friends that they made at work.
I'm appalled to see how in this day and age that some people take staying to yourself and keeping your personal business personal as bitterness🤦🏽♀️😒. You under no circumstances are obligated to hang with, be romantically involved with, tell your life story or engage in the character assassination of other employee's in the workplace! You do what works for you though. I'm a firm believer in that but you must ask yourself is that wise in certain situations. I'm sure some people out here have met a real friend in the workplace and thats great. However, this is not everybody's story. When you see coworkers that are busy bodies, messy, rude, argumentative, crap starters and nosey you have the right to ignore them and keep your distance. This doesn't mean you're bitter or anti-social. This means you're using discernment and common sense! Again, for those of you who WFH and you say you're glad you don't have to deal with any of the things people who work in a corporation physically do is wonderful but not 100% safe for every individual WWFH. I know people who are still going through things with upper management right online. The truth comes out on Zoom calls and meetings. There are still people with remote jobs who come across messy employees, jealous employees, competitive employees and cutthroat managers, supervisors and corporate leaders who will lie, set stubbling blocks and try to pry in an employees personal business through emails, Zoom calls and meetings. This doesn't apply to ALL REMOTE WORKERS but for those of you who keep putting out the idea that WFH removes every issue from work is only speaking from your personal experience. A lot happens in the workplace remotely and if you're there physically whether some believe it or not. I can almost guarantee that those of you who said not developing friendships with your coworkers...and keeping yourself away from them on a personal level is negative and paranoia has more than likely slept with some of your coworkers over the course of your work history or you're a messy person within the workplace! I guarantee it!! How some of you got offended off of this video and tried to be combative about it exposes why you're offended! Why be offended simply off me giving reasons why you shouldn't be getting personal with people you work with? If you don't agree then keep it moving. IMO if you're upset about this video and you have a negative outlook and perception of it I guarantee its because it hit home for you and you're the exact type of people I'm referring to in the workplace. REAL TALK!! The bottom line is people should go to work to showcase their skills, gifts and talents according to their job description and title, clock out and go home. If in-between you're blessed to find love or genuine friendships then great for you! Thats your experience. Just be careful mixing business with pleasure and stop being overly comfortable, confident and trusting of coworkers cause you're there to work. People are at different levels mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Some are great at masking their true intentions and character. NOW EVERYONE GET BACK TO WORK CAUSE YOUR BREAK IS OVER😅😂😆🤣😹😭🤭
Thank you! I know I wasn't crazy and I would do just this and older women would be so rude and disrespectful. I would come in, speak and go to my workstation. They were so bothered by me minding my business and also the fact that I caught on so well. I had to leave that toxic environment.
I experienced that too at my old job. Their blood would be boiled cause you didn't tell them your story or any of your personal business for that matter. Coworkers feel obligated to know your personal business. When you keep yourself separated from them then you're labeled as difficult or rude.
I 100% agree with you I left 2 jobs this year alone because of the gossiping, drama, back stabbing, and mind games were too much. I don’t see why people don’t take it seriously enough that stuff after a while takes a toll on you emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically because everyone at my old job quit since management was so bad and kept getting worse which left literally me to pick up the slack until they found new people. I only lasted 2 weeks after the last person quit and now I have to go through the trouble of finding another job which I’m hoping is full of mature ADULTS. My lesson learned is coworkers and management are not your friends you telling them your business can be detrimental to since your also playing with your money it’s really not worth it.
God snatched me from a job recently where it was nothing but family and friends and people were sleeping with each other! The owners daughter was HR! It was a whole mess! I also found out that friends of the owner were getting paid a higher wage than the other workers ! I’ve never in my life experienced such mess in the workplace ! I had to simply move on !
Girl, I seriously needed to hear this today! I’m a lead at a warehouse and I’m nice to everybody at work, but ppl apparently take it wrong… I just found out from a maintenance worker that my supervisor was asking if I had something going on with the guys at work-and I have lunch with this lady twice a week! I ain’t sleeping with nobody, but she starting this rumor on me. Love your message! I’m going to be more guarded from now on!
That's how mess starts. I would stay away from her!! Don't tell her any of your business!! This is why I say what I say in this video. People are really trying to make it like there is nothing wrong with trusting and getting comfortable and cozy with people they work with. This is exactly why you cannot get personal with folks you don't know. Yes its possible to find a trusted friend or love anywhere in life but the chances of it happening with people you're supposed to be professional with is slim to none and its distasteful. The ones who are getting upset about this message are the very ones I talked about. I STAND ON THAT.
Yes! Tell it Ms.Tolbert ! Tell it! You are in the book for real! Esp working with black women ! Men in there too! But these Black Women it’s sad how they can tear each other down! Instead of building each other up and mentoring…. I can’t stand an old dried up hefa that acts so immature! The older women suppose to teach the younger women that’s in the Bible!
You are absolutely spot on. Another thing to consider is that your employer doesn't care one iota about you, either. You are expendable. I've seen all the backstabbing, gossiping, etc , but I was taken off guard by how quickly and easily a company will turn on you. As soon as they start outsourcing, clean out your file cabinets and be prepared. I saw a lot of incredibly smart and valuable employees sent out the door with a box.
Don't fear working with toxic people, you could actually gain control over the situation. One thing about toxic people is they are operating out of fear. Fear is what makes a person have a negative reaction. If those people are operating out of fear, it's because they do not have self-control. Having self-control is a great way to help stop drama in the workplace. Most immature people copy the way other people are, if you are doing your job, they will do theirs, especially if you are a natural leader. Also, when dealing with immature people at work, you can ignore, "ignorance", even if they sit & gossip about you, Really the joke will be on them at the end of the day because they are the ones who are behaving like 15-year-olds in high school again. no matter where we work in life, there will always be someone immature, really, it's up to those who are mature to teach those who are immature by leading by example.
This is one of the few mature, positive comments on this video. Most of the other comments are overly bitter, distrustful, and negative, with no team spirit. No one I would want to hire for my team.
@@calisongbirdMost people are speaking from experience. I can appreciate a positive comment a different perspective, but the truth is the truth. You can take your manager/supervisor hat off now. This is UA-cam not your job.
@@soulspirationgoddess Cool. So if people flood the comment section with racist and negative comments about black people they’ve encountered on the job, that’s just “speaking from their experience” then, right? Ageism is the same principle - and there’s a shit ton of it in the comment thread. I never said I was a manager/supervisor, sweetheart. I’m just a person with common sense. Which is apparently not that common…
I don’t know if my iPhone is picking up on my conversations or what, but I felt like this message was divine. I literally felt in my spirit to keep my personal life personal when it comes to my coworkers. Even if that means removing them from my social media or limiting what I tell them. This couldnt have came at a better time. Thank you!
@@mysmirandam.6618 Thank God you got out. I know how it feels to be able to get out of toxic workplace. Getting out of there is a blessing & hope God continues to bless you✝️🙏🏽🙏🏼💚
@@EpicMoments-jh4ekyou ain’t never lied. People are nosey and want to compare lives especially if it look like you doing alright! Plus I don’t need them in my business when I call out sick😂
It bothers their ego, believe me. They feel like you're OBLIGATED to associate yourselves with them, and you are NOT. I always stay to myself at work. If I DO TALK, it's very rare.
I absolutely agree with you. I'm over 55 and I have learned the hard way that they are NOT true friends. Do NOT give away any personal information. Everyone: please listen to this lady. She speaks the truth.
What’s wrong with maybe talking about your hobbies or where you’re from or something with your coworkers. It’s good to get somewhat close to the people you work with because it makes working easier, right?
This is why I keep to myself. At my last job I didn't talk much the first couple of weeks because it takes me to get to know you to open up. The boss got mad at me for not opening up and told another coworker to tell me to talk more. Then after I started opening up more and helping other people with their jobs if they needed it. They told me I wasn't doing my job properly. I walked out after that. And this is why I stay to myself. The restaurant ended up closing down and going into bankruptcy after I left.
As an introvert, it has got to the point where I can't trust anyone anymore. Even a waitress asking a friendly question, I'll get anxious...thinking, "Why are asking me that?" The world is scary and you have to protect yourself nowadays...
My biggest pet peeve is when coworkers and even managers ask about YOUR LIVING SITUATION. Like why tf do you care if I live with my parents, alone, have roommates, or a partner!? Like y’all need to focus on work more
13:49 Exactly,who cares if you live in Hotel & in a tent in someone's backyard!! Seriously Those are Definitely uncalled for questions & I personally would obviously answer in a very sarcastic manner 😅😆
@@se2664they be tryna count your pockets when they ask that, I told a co worker that I live with my parents and the look on his face was crazy 😂 like we make the same amount, what you expect?!?
You are who you associate with. I had a part-time job for years in retail, and had friendships with coworkers who had very confrontational relationships with management. I figured it was not an issue for me as I never called out, was always on time, worked extra shifts, and exceeded my sales goals every quarter. Boy was I wrong. Eight years later, out selling even full-time employees, never once did I get a raise and was always treated like crap. When I left and gave an ample notice, they couldn't get rid of me fast enough. Found out on the last day that my reputation with management was based solely on who I associated with and not my excellent performance. Don't make the mistake of thinking being exceptional at work will give you a pass on who you associate with.
Amen ma'am! I worked at a huge firm where I thought I had hundreds of friends. When I had to leave to take care of my disabled daughter oh, I sent an email out with my address and phone number telling people they could call or come by anytime. In a mostly white corporate environment, only two people can by later to see how my daughter and I were doing. Both were African-American, truly blessed Souls
This video should be required viewing for anyone entering the workforce. I wish I had seen this video when I entered the workforce back in 1987. I am going to share this with all of my younger family members. Excellent video!
This was a blessing to hear. I work a job with predominately men. It is a pool of affairs,gossip and unfriendliness. But I thank God I know who I am and I keep to myself. I have been called unapproachable and I’m happy about that. So this message was right on time that I’m doing the right thing by keeping to myself. Thank you Sis.
@@GirlieCarolinas Even when I was 17 and worked a side job for a summer as the only girl at a supermarket with a bunch of boys, the amount of gossip was crazy!! Every time in the breakroom all they would do is gossip about the other teenage boys that didn’t have a shift that day. I learned that day that men are no different and should really not be claiming that women create drama when they love to do the same and I make sure to tell ‘em that if they ever wanna act like they’re better 😂
I just made this comment & then see this! Exactly!!! I was friendly to the men (& other females), but it ended at very basic knowledge of each other. I didn't want to know about them & didn't want them knowing about me, so neither of us knew too much -- if & when, the rubber meets the road. And you're never going to catch me sleeping with ANYONE. You'd get passed around like a dish at Christmas dinner. Those guys don't care about these sl*ts. I'm not going to be one or put off the look that I'm being one. I work in corrections, so this is extremely important. It looks so horrible on those females we all hear about, without asking about. 👏🏻
Ugh, the gossipers and the cheaters are people of low moral character. Stay away for your own mental health and your professional well-being. They will knife you in the back and smile to your face.
I had a coworker who tried to guilt trip me into driving him home almost every day. He tried to act super nice to me to manipulate me into doing this. One day, I had something else I needed to do right after work, and I had to explain that I couldn't drive him home that day and it isn't my responsibility. After that, he was super cold to me for weeks and barely spoke to me, and I realized he was just pretending to be friendly in order to use me.
Some coworkers like that nowadays don't value professional workers at heart, only on their "want and need." Karma will gonna get to them and gonna regrets.
Yes I know of a female at my current job who will burden anyone for a ride to and from work so I feel that she is not trying to get her a car as long as she can use somebody anybody to suit her purpose 😊
Companies need to be held accountable for letting their employees bully other co-workers to try & exploit each other to climb that Corp ladder. Not worth it. I shut it all diwn. Don't play.
STRAIGHT FACTS!! I recently left my job and refused to tell people details other than that I was moving out of town. Of course, this seemed to make people even more persistent and annoying. Instead of respecting the obvious and clear boundary that I put up, they kept harassing me for information on where I was moving to and what I was going to do. These are exactly the types of workplaces where bosses say that "we're like a big family here". No thanks, I'll decide exactly who I consider my family.
I do consider my work place family. But to me family is a cold preformative place that i interact with because I need to to survive so there isnt much difference
Sooooo true. I got fired from my last job bc I fell out with my so called "friends". They switched up on me, never took accountability, and got mad at me bc I stopped f'n with them. They went to management, made up a bunch of lies, and them being the management pets, they sided with them. Fired me for "lack of professionalism". What a joke. But it's all good. I found another job, increased my salary significantly, and will be starting Monday ❤. Everything happens for a reason and God had bigger plans for me. Lesson learned, and NEVER AGAIN
@breebubssssssss take it from me. Start making plans to find another job, bc it will not get better and the stress of it all isn't worth it. Depending on the state you live in, you can still collect unemployment if you were fired for "cause." It can't be no petty shit like I was fired for, which is why I was ruled eligible for benefits. Still continue to do your work in the meantime but whether you leave on your terms or theirs, leaving is the solution. Good luck ❤️
@mariamendoza380 sorry to hear that. At least you are aware of the fuckery, as I was completely blindsided. Keep doing your job, remain professional and if it gets too bad, make your exit. These types of high school games at work isn't worth it
I’m a manager at work. I wish my employees would watch this! So many times people get burnt over being buddy buddy with coworkers and the same “besties” will come behind their back and tattle about what they do to me. If people just came to work, did their job, were kind but not obsessed with one another, workplaces would be much better. I never eat lunch with anyone. I eat in my car or in my office. I don’t owe my breaks to anyone I work with! I am there to do my job and go home. That’s it!! Anyone that gossips to you will be the one that is gossiping about you to everyone else with listening ears. I wish I would have listened to this when I first started my job. You are a very wise woman!
Exactly 💯. I don't understand why so many people don't understand this. I don't see anything wrong with just keeping things simple. Hi 👋. Bye 👋...or if there is a short general conversation then ok. Anything else is crossing the line. People you work with are some of the most fake, jealous, disrespectful, dishonest, competitive, opportunistic, morally corrupt, messy, unprofessional and deviant people you'll come across. The fact people get so comfortable and trusting of people they really don't know in the workplace is disturbing to me. I'm happy to hear that you're a manager with integrity!!! Big ups to you!!!!!
It kills me to see coworkers going to lunch together. Misery loves company. Lol they like to suck everyone into that mess. I never understood why people enjoy having sex with coworkers either. It’s just too much. This message needs to go viral✨✨
Very wise woman. For those entering into the workforce, listen to this woman. There’s always drama at work. Do what she says and you can avoid toxic environments.
I recently quit my job , but that one of the best decisions I ever made.. the workplace was not for me. Since I left nobody have called me to check on me but I remember these people each of them have received a gift 🎁 for me .. there even a co worker I brought around my family and this co worker never called me either.. great video lesson learned
I keep to myself and do my job. People think it’s weird when you’re not friendly, I am not here to make friends. I’m here to get a paycheck, thank you.
I keep it professional and formal on the job. The Friend’s and relatives I grew up with, I continue to keep. I set boundaries, won’t be taking any risk with new people, both inside and outside the job. It’s pure madness out here, people can mess you up and ruin your life. Stay safe❤
Absolutely. I don't care how long I've worked with someone you still can't trust them. It's just not my thing with getting familiar with people I have to see everyday. The levels of mess and madness I see out here is crazy. I've seen people at work sleep with the wrong person and even if they wanted to stop they can't because they're so deep in it and if they cut it off depending on who it is they get threatened, harassed and mistreated.
@@missctolbertvoh I’ve even noticed that work friendships don’t last. There’s usually conflict, tension and resentment that builds up until arguments happen because their values, beliefs system and interests is no inline.
@@gdisprint2928 that is very true. People at work will act one way towards you but if they have certain relationships with other people they're moved to act and treat you differently based on what others are saying and telling them about you. When you stand for something and refuse to be sleeping with who you work with and you don't hang out with who you work with and have to see everyday, you're usually cut off by them or avoided until they want to be bothered. That's why you don't allow anyone you work with to disrespect you or bring you into mess.
I fought a co worker, cursed out a few, some tried to get freaky with me . I took me from 17 to 23 to realize socializing at work always end up bad. I love working remote . Plants, distribution centers, CALL CENTERS, fast food, retail, hospitality.. I’ve worked so many . I love how I know how to handle myself better as an adult with co workers and the public. They WILL not call you back if you lost your job unless they wanna get ☕️. ESPECIALLY if it’s a small town. They WILL throw you under the bus behind your back . They will get mad if you don’t talk to them about anything besides work. “Stuck up” used to bother me but not anymore. Call me mean I simply do not care. But then it can turn into workplace bullying which I’ve learned also to always keep a paper trail.
Sleeping with coworkers is messy and sleeping with people with people under or above you in seniority is usually against company policy. No one I work with is privy to my address, my personal life, or anything else. We can be friends at work but once we walk out the door, that relationship is over. She is absolutely correct. And beware of people who are overly nice to you - they're usually jealous or have an ulterior motive.
Everything she’s saying is facts, I’ve been saying this for years to ppl. I don’t associate with nobody, and they have a problem with that. I care less how they feel, don’t involve myself with no shenanigans on any job. I just go to work and go home, I’m not with it. Women please! Stop laughing and joking around with these men on the job, that’s most definitely a danger zone. A lot of men will have a issue with u if your not talking to them. Bc other women be all in their face, they think every woman suppose to do the same. Nip that in the butt at the gate, by keeping your distance. The devil is everywhere, seeking whom he can devour.
I wish I could like this comment a thousand times!! Every word you spoke is true. You must keep your distance from men in the workplace and those messy women!
@@Blessed602Girl you sound like me, men think you are stuck up when you don't engage with them. I don't play with men at the workplace at all because many begin to pass their place and flirt. A lot of other women laugh with these men so they think that all women are the same. No we are not Sir.
@@AriaPringle9053 that’s facts, their vibes just make u uncomfortable when their in your space. Bc u no they trying their best to get a conversation out of u. Their looked over like a elephant in the room, that boils them over, don’t give a damn! about their feelings.
Yep, this video is spot on. I spent my 20s after college navigating the corporate workplace culture traps you speak of. Messy, gossipy coworkers. Married bosses sleeping with subordinates, etc. The manipulative games. Hidden agendas of jealous, toxic colleagues at play. And THE biggest trap: any and all personal details gathered about you WILL be weaponized and used against you later. Honestly can’t understand why this information isn’t required learning for the youth prior to moving into the workforce.
Absolutely should be required learning. Many families are afraid to have certain discussions. The truth is, love drives out fear. You should never want a daughter, son, neice, nephew, etc to have to learn these hard lessons or feel trapped in a toxic workplace for fear of not being able to provide for themselves. The answer is NEVER "that's just the way it is", but often times that will be the advice you get from "family". Stay close to wisdom my dear. God Bless & Continued Success in the workforce.
@@HisBaby-u9u almost caught the Holy Ghost off your post 😂😂💯💯💯 Sadly, thing is directly to the part family plays. My biggest reconciliation was coming to terms with family- and blessed to say my folks are happily married 51 yrs and I grew up in a Soul Food Sunday dinner kinda family on both sides. NOT ONE relative warned me or gave me the real on coworkers. The aggressive office politics, the power cliques, the bosses who expect you to kiss up to gain favor or do dirt including work sabotaging to force your hand if they decide they want you to leave. Smdh I definitely got no advance warning and going through some of the worst treatment including discrimination and sexual harassment, I either got the “thats how it is (as in, be strong enough to put up with it)” or in the final straw cases, I got effin HORRIBLE advice- like talking to HR about an escalating matter when I should’ve been seeking legal counsel, protecting my interests first and not the company. HARD ASF lessons learned alone. BUT, definitely made me stronger, convinced me to always trust my instincts for all workplace situations and not to give a second thought to well meaning family/friends to validate me when I’m convinced most are geared to gaslighting on some give (evil) people the benefit of the doubt. 😂😂😂 No Sir!!! I know the game AND the score now
@@maryanne7161 But that’s passive! It’s one thing for an Elder to teach to prepare a child/young family member for what lays ahead. If they reject that information? It’s on them. But personally, that’s not an Out to excuse simply not giving them necessary, fact of life information. Lol no different than sex or drugs or warning kids to beware and watch out for thieves and predators. Everyone is NOT your friend.
@@seensay2132 No, its fatalistic and pragmatic. I was just trying to state things as they are. I did my bit by warning my daughter. Now, its upto her to heed that warning or keep getting hurt.
After years of workplace misery, I work from home. I decline work social events I’m done with office politics and forced socializing. My bosses know to tread lightly with me
This is true! I'm friendly and bubbly. I had an issue with over sharing and trusting people. Long story short, I'm learning to SHUT UP, NOT OVER SHARE AND TO NOT GOSSIP. I'm at home right now but my husband used to tell me all the time and discern the people I was around. He knew and I learn slowly but surely. God is good!
Idc who the person is, i stay private. I share only what's safe to share. And the part of your coworkers not calling to check up on you after you get fired or decide to stop working, is very true. Also..no romance at work. It will always backfire. Thank you for the amazing work you do. I appreciate it all. Stay blessed.❤❤❤
I've had a few good friends that were co-workers that called me after I was terminated. They just wanted to apologize and tell me they were sorry to hear about what happened. That's a rare occasion for that to happen.
This is 100% spot on, Warehouse jobs are horrible about this. I was always known as the quiet, weird, or stuck-up employee because I never associated with co-workers unless it was work related. I never went to the company cookouts, parties, or any social event that my employer hosted. I took my breaks in my vehicle. Finally, I had a manager call me into his office and scolded me for not being social with the coworkers. I quit the next day. It blows my mind how people literally live for drama and conflict. My peace is something I treasure.
I agree! 100% I was bullied at a job where I refused to let everyone know about my personal life. It was literally like high school surrounded by mean girls. While I enjoyed the work and my boss I finally left and said to her "I just don't fit in here."
I was bullied also and to the point of suicide. I had to walk away from that job. Now, God had another plan for me. I'm an artist and preparing to open my etsy store in the future. Stay encouraged.
Glad u finally had stood up for yourself NEVER allow anyone to make u feel afraid to stand your ground no matter the circumstance as I had learned cause tho my personality overtime sprouted I still never told em much about me cause it ain't they business
I guarantee that anyone who got offended by this video are indeed guilty of being the type of coworkers I described. I GUARANTEE IT!!! Why would anyone get offended off of information given about how the workplace can be if it's helpful?
If none of what I spoke about in this video message applies to you then keep moving forward. Not one person should be considered bitter, antisocial, rude or not a "team player" because they choose to stay to themselves in the workplace. You go to work to showcase your gift, skill, talent and ability for the job title you were hired for. Work is not for anyone to spread rumors, slander, compete with, gossip about, become intimate and romantically involved with their employee's or co-workers. Period!
I'm not saying to not be civil. Saying good morning, good afternoon or good evening, depending on what shift you work is in order. However, having conversations that aren't work related isn't mandatory 😒. Keep it professional. For those of you who are speaking on your experience as far as working from home and you claim you don't go through anything I spoke about in this video GREAT FOR YOU!
Make no mistake, I know several people who work from home and go through the same things people go through who are physically at work! Arguments...gossip... jealousy...competition... and inappropriate things are rampant with some folks who work from home. Also, certain things are said through emails... remote meetings...or done behind the scenes between employees, supervisors/bosses who work from home. Don't be ignorant to this.
If anyone of you have found true love and marriage from meeting a great person at work good for you! Don't assume that everyone will have that experience.
If anyone of you have developed awesome friendships with a few coworkers then great for you! These things are possible but not for everyone...it's a case by case basis🤷🏽♀️. Overall, your focus should still be to do your job, get a check and go home once the shift is over. Getting personal on any level is not an obligation of yours. Set boundaries with your co-worker's with no guilt. Don't be manipulated and made to feel guilty because you don't tell your personal business.
Everyone is at different levels mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, therefore, getting comfortable and trusting that your coworkers are all trustworthy, honorable and mature is the very thing that could possibly cause you to get hurt, mistreated, offended or even fired after realizing they're not who you expected them to be.
Now Get back to work guys! Break is over 😂😅🤭😆
🤣🤣🤣 Exactly and their parents should have told them that too.
@@adrienneroxanne9833 right!!! So many people don't seem to understand this! This should be common knowledge. Unfortunately so many people go into the workplace to find someone they can get physical with, kick it with or they have a very bad habit of comparing themselves to others. The amount of insecure, jealous, mentally ill and emotionally unstable people I encountered at my old job was unbelievable!
Facts 💯
Especially the quiet ones.
@catspawgardner3213 lol quiet ones meaning you don't come to work and tell all your business lmao! 🤭🤣😂 When people do that I just shake my head lmfao.
Coworkers are not your friends. I learned the hard way.
Coworkers are fake as they come
@@missctolbertvoh You got that right!
I LEARNED THE HARD WAY TOO!!!!
I've had lots of jobs in my life and I only made one friend.
Me too. I'm walking amongst sharks
I was always told at work that I was "too quiet" because I treated my co-workers with extreme caution and did not seek to over-socialise with them, if I did not have to. The fact that they found me too quiet meant that they did not know enough of my business, and I was content to have it remain that way.
I love that you stayed to yourself!
that’s the way to be at work that’s exactly how I am..I’ve been called rude because of it but who cares
I actually got written up for acting the way that this content creator is encouraging people to be at work by my ex-boss & an ex-coworker who not only stole a promotion that was meant for me, but she was more than happy to be my married ex-boss's mistress. Can you imagine that?!
Yeah they treat me like an outcast too but they have treated me this way my whole life. Co workers are sneaky they pulled a covid test on me recently and I didn't know I had it of course they sent me home for five days. I'm not even sure what will happen next but I'm thinking of changing jobs if it goes away. I don't want to be at a place were the workers see an outcast as disposable. If it were up to me I'd never work I'd just have money and exsist.
I knew they were always awkward around me I'm not going to quit right away over these people and I know they meant well but when they told me I could get sick pay I wasn't sure if I believed it or not because of the way they pulled it on me they keep saying, "no your fine it will be okay!" Right this was planned and to be honest it was kind of hypothetical because sometimes our boss would show up sick too.
@@LawofMosesHereimagine only being able to socialize at work and trying to force others who don’t care about you to …care lmao
I'm finding middle aged women being the worst to deal with at work. They smile in each other's face and stab each other in the back. It's so much gossiping and wanting to know everybody's business and judges people all the time. It's also that one person who is the common denominator that knows and tells everybody's business.
Yes!!! I worked a job where a team lead was always in everybody's business! She felt she was entitled to know everything you had going on at work and outside of work. When people started acting funny around me or other people come to find out it was because of her spreading rumors and lying on particular ones so they could be mistreated. I have never understood why people at work hang out with each other and tell their business to one another. It's so weird and cringey.
I wonder why some middle aged women are like this because I have also worked with them.
Pete I think they're like this because they're bitter or have no life. Sometimes a persons job is all they have
Yup their insecure and intimidated we step in our power and authentic self ❤
I AGREE!!! I was just saying this, in my experience women ages 40-60 are the worst.
Coworkers are NOT friends lol. All they do is backstab and talk about you when you aren't around. No ma'am 😂
Facts yup I'm done with the bullsht
Yes! My boss is full of shit and fake. I choose not to get personal with him. He runs his mouth a lot like a little high schoolers. I go to work and get my check. Trust no one that runs their mouth about others. Those are the shit distributors.
@BB23573 I can feel the fake energy from people so I understand you ! I was so In a bad mood because my leadership didn't give us clear guidance yesterday so now I'm going to do things own my own until I get out of this contract
@adrienneroxanne9833 True.
or they will be disrespectful to you because they know they can get away with it and boss wont say anything
This is why I prefer to work from home. In the privacy and tranquility where there are no distractions, no drama, this has been the greatest blessing.
Girl you are truly blessed I hope I can get a remote job too
Me too I work from home never had so much peace and tranquility in my life .talk about the best environment , it’s gets no better …
Same here! All of this. 🥰👏🏾💯
Yes. Been working at home for years
Exactly! Remote work is what's up!!! Don't hv to deal w/ all that drama when you WFH.
My grandma always told me that i do not have to over explain myself. This stuck with me all my life. As i got older I was lowkey and quiet at school and at work. People even accused me of being mean. Im not mean i just dont owe you anything.
Exactly!
You sound negative and distrustful.
Facts
This is so right
Good stuff🍎
Whenever I hear "We are like a Family here" it's a HUGE red flag for me! 🚩🚩🚩 I have my own family, I don't need more relatives, I'm here to do my job and get money for that, nothing more.
1000% agreed. If this is what a family looks like, a hot, dysfunctional mess full of fakes and frauds, naaa y'all can have that. I'm good with my real family who would never throw me under the bus and try to tarnish my reputation. Again, I'm good 👍🏾
😂😂😂😂
Work is only that time of day between sleeping and doing what you want to do ❤
I'm like, I can't even stand my family's micro managing, nagging, and control.
Through my experience, those are the worst kind of people to work with. It means they can be nasty to you because they were taught to say that to new employees.
I stay quiet af at my job they be askin me questions like they’re the feds
Oh no way! Unacceptable! Don't tell them any of your business!
😂😂😂😂😂
A word to the wise....don't even give them your home address. They are not your friends and you don' want them coming around your home. Trust me on this one
@@DayTwo-w8n I understand thanks for the info brodie✊🏿
😂
I hated when my supervisor (woman) said we are like a family.... i said "no we are not, just cause i work here dont mean we gonna have picnics together". They hated me for it, i dont give a rats ass 😂😂😂 happy me happy to be free
If you ever hear your boss or company say that to you just know its some BS within that company. They're great at pretending to care about you. They literally don't care anything about you
they ran that mess on me too! I said if we're family why wasn't I invited to your wedding? She had just gotten married and invited selected few.
Yes that is the most toxic sh to say. My job says that too..I'm not family with not 1 person in that building & they don't need to act like I am towards them either!
Lmao😆😜🤪
brotherCarlos6944, you speak so much truth in that situation. So glad you called out the shady supervisor in front of everyone. Most super-
visors are messy like
the co-workers.
Well, to some point the Supervisor is right Though lol. Your own genetically family member(s) can B like total strangers & ppl you refuse to be around, Family members act just the same sad but true.
Work and coworkers can traumatize you for years from treating you badly and belittling you.
Nobody wants to help, nobody cares or sees you as an actual human. Not with this skin tone.
I had to call the Police on one of my coworkers who thought he could cuss me out, yell at me and make threats to me almost everyday for years!! Enough is enough!! This man is on drugs and has no morals or empathy for anyone. He yells and curses out the manager and the owner. They act like they are afraid of him.😢The Police officer told him not to say anything to me. I have never been on a personal level with this man. I watch him from afar...he is not to be trusted!!
@@lindarobinson1980 Im so sorry I can't be around junkies that use drugs and people who smoke and drink I can't babysit those people anymore and they say horrible things and start touching. It's disgusting..
@@lindarobinson1980owner need to remove him. Its simple. They to emotional and don't have leadership skills. I jsugest to chose a different job
Yup! I have a family member who is literally suffering from PTSD and paranoia bc of being bullied and belittled at work. The situation happened a little over s decade ago and they are STILL struggling.
I agree with all this. A lot of people are WAY TOO QUICK to get close to their coworkers and call them "friends". It's giving, "DESPERATE FOR FRIENDSHIP". It's giving, "I have a high school mindset." It's giving, "I NEED ATTENTION." Like EWW. People need to learn how to walk alone sometimes especially at work. This is why I stay to myself at work. Some people are fake AF.
Every word you spoke is so true. What's crazy to me is how you'll hear coworkers say they aren't friends with anybody at work but they're constantly in each other's faces, telling all of their business to each other and getting personal. Its so weird! I don't even believe in sitting with coworkers and eating lunch with them. I go my separate way. Real talk!
@@missctolbertvoh Facts. I STAY TO MYSELF. Now I'm not rude, I do speak when spoken to. And I make conversation SOMETIMES ABOUT WORK ONLY lol...but trust and believe it's only with like three people. Everybody else at my job is either attention-starved, childish, weird, or just damn ANNOYING.
I feel you! I never fit in anyway so I'm not mad about not connecting with people in the workplace, church, certain family members and people I went to school with. I like going and coming alone. I have never been a entourage or clickish type of person. NEVER
@@missctolbertvoh Me neither. Ignorant people think you're stuck-up when you don't talk to them. I'll be that... if it means not associating myself with bs.
@@cj8803you are 100% right. Is this lady at my job and she's really starving for attention because everywhere I go she's talking and laughing with somebody. It's very rare that I see her by herself. She's always trying to ask me questions about my personal life I'm like why do you need to know that??? I'm here to work this is not a club lol.
Be friendly, not friends. Keep it strictly professional. I learned this the hard way. Your colleagues aren't your friends and they don't care about you. Remain loyal to yourself and don't break your back for a company that doesn't give a damn about you.
Correct. You'll break your back for a company and in the end if something goes down they won't be supportive at all.
Very Well Said Mate.👍🏾👍🏾✊🏾✊🏾👑👑
Facts!
Amen!
That last part I'm learning in my thirties
I've always maintained this attitude there's no such thing as work friendships.
It's definitely not. People you work with tend to be extremely fake and phony. They love to make comparisons between you and them. They believe just because you work at the same place as them that it's no way you can have other things going on outside of that job so that you're not a slave to that job!
These are facts
@@missctolbertvoh my co workers think that I don't know anything about them they don't know anything about me or my past
How to deal with cunning manipulative people
Agreed 👍. Would you be friends with an FBI agent or a state trooper? Absolutely not!!!!
Best advise given to me starting my career: don’t volunteer information to fill the silence
Right!!! Exactly 💯
A rule that I have to follow 🙏
This is part of why I became a truck driver. I'm so tired of fake, gossipy, messy coworkers I didn't know what to damn do! I'm a loner and an introvert. A solo job where I'm alone with my thoughts is perfect for me. I can read people pretty well, and most people in the workplace are fake and cunning. I don't have time.
Oh myyy . I love this and totally relate. I am an introvert and love my alone time as well !! I was looking ways to be a truck driver for this sole reason . I am in corporate right now
So nice to see there are people like me 😊❤
💯💯💯💯
I thought it was just me ima introvert to and a loner also I hate drama and fake ppl also so I just stay to myself altogether u know what's crazy it bothers ppl when they see I'm unbothered the most ppl can't stand that
Good morning ladies, We're Empathy, we don't have time for the foolishness on any level
I hate being questioned by coworkers. Usually the ones that ask questions are the ones spreading gossip
Those are definitely the ones being who gossip and they're very messy. They typically are also the ones who do inappropriate things behind the scenes as well!
she is 100 percent correct when co-workers keep asking about information about you without telling information about themselves, its a major red-flag. This means their looking for information as future leverage, remember never feel pressured into telling personal information about you or your life story. Never give folks information about yourself to a person who won't do the same.
@laeacani omg LOL!!!! I'M IN TEARS😆🤣😂
Exactly 💯💜🙏🏾💜
Ex wife felt the need tuh give her coworker (work husband) pussé & throat bc “he’s around daily , & headed in the same direction in life.”
@DutchRucannon omg!!!!! Wooooow!!!!! That's crazy!!!
@@missctolbertvoh that’s guys 20s & up reality .
My mother always told me that... just keep conversations GENERAL!!
I agree. Absolutely!
@@missctolbertvoh 🙌🏾🙌🏾💯
I literally only keep conversations 10 seconds and under and I walk AWAY! I dont even tell ppl my name. I give them the first LETTER. That's all u getting. You not about to get info on me so u can try to destroy it later. Fricking narcissists!!!
I always took lunch by myself,and when they asked what i did on the weekend i always said nothing.
I remember when I got a room for New Year's Eve downtown somewhere and had a good time and I happened to take off around that time and when people ask me what I did I said nothing😂 stay out of my bidness
Lmfaoooooo 😂 did they call you boring or said something smart afterwards?
@@adrienneroxanne9833 LOL
NO juat stare
@@E-ticket562 lol 😆 they usually say something smart when I don't tell them my business. Yep I'm boring lmao 🤣
I learned this the hard way when I was working in the prison system. The cliques, the sycophants and the two-faced coworkers made my job a living hell. It’s pretty sad when the inmates had a stronger moral code than the staff members.
Wowwww
Yup
Damn. The inmates had stronger moral code? That’s crazy!
Exactly. I worked as a CO. Just the absolute worst coworkers
Anyone in a badge is a sleazy , amoral, snake.
This is why I love working from home. People Always ask me “isn’t that boring” nope! I don’t miss the office politics at all. Great message.
Right! I miss working from home.
I want to work from home, but most of the jobs are customer service.
So right
I want that myself
God knows I want so desperately to work from home. I have some health issues & do need to work.✝️🙏🏽🙏🏼💚
Neighbors are this way too. Just cause we live next door or near each other doesn’t mean I have to get to know you or tell you my business. Loved this video ❤
I have never became friends with my neighbors.
That’s why I make a quick scan around before I place my trash can at the curb…. I do not want to talk 😂😂😂
I moved in my home in 2022. My neighbor allows her 9 year old daughter to come to my house uninvited to play with my 15yo daughter. It irritates my daughter so I told her that she does not have to feel obligated to play with the child so she stopped answering the door. Now the mom has an attitude because we don’t want to be bothered with her child. Oh well, seems like a personal problem for her.
@@ITURNWINEINTOWATER Florida
@@NikkiNiNiNi I don’t like it either. I have a thirteen year old son. The neighborhood kids annoy him… touching his things, asking for snacks 😂😂
I believe in the 4 Ps- Professional, Polite, pleasant and always PRIVATE.
I absolutely love this!!! ❤😘
BINGO!
I've cut all my ties with everyone at work. They don't need to know me. They only need to know I get the job done.
Right!
Like I still talk to people at work but I just be nice and just keep it only about work. I don't hang with anyone no more from work. It's just safer that way and it saves any drama from occurring. 🖤
Ruthless rules to follow:
1) Any job u work at observe everyone
2)Understand the hierarchy
3) label everyone and sort out jesters and two face ghouls
4) have a 3-5 year plan
5) share only need to know stuff
6)hate all equally
7) keep to urself …be fair and just
8) record everything ….
9) get urself certs and Roth IRA, etc set up
10) be ruthlessly practical is all you do …so do only what’s in your job description !!
11) learn to pivot
12) understand u work in a dirty pond with dirty fish poo avoid drama but record and have a paper trail !
13) have a set of headphones 🎧
...I hollered ta headphones because I panic if I can't find mine, smh
@@littwerker2281 It the only way I can be nice
I have cussed people out
Yelled at them
Even chased someone out the office
All because they thought they could try me the quiet one
I have headphones and backup AirPods
So I AcT Right :)
@@Shineynsparkles baby listen, I used to serve them a double dose of everything they tried to give me, LOL! now i always kept it 'cute' (never giving them any ammo to use against me), but I'm an elder now, so I used to work with a lot of "Karens" before it became a thing, and I kept them hot & flustered because my work was untouchable! But I've mellowed a bit now (as I draw nigh to retirement).
Noise-canceling headphones!
Some say if you want to get ahead in the workplace you have to go up and beyond, i.e., help your manager do their job.
This video is absolutely 100%. Also, when you present yourself as someone who's just there to work only, they take offense and gang up on you. All of a sudden, there's a coldness amongst all of them.
Yes‼️🎯
That is so freaking true. I don't like how people are..
Very true
This! Im going through this now. Even when i try to do the minimum of smiling and saying hi, they ignore me. Stone faced and cold, like they cant stand me all because I dont tell my business or want to be more than a coworker
Office politics is like high school. You need a clique to survive. You need a group. That's the game. You need to find a coworker or friend to hook you up.
I once had a "friend" at a job. She would confide in me and complain about her boss. I would complain to her about certain managers too and tell her other things I didn't like. Until one day, it was becoming obvious that I may be possibly promoted to a position that she wanted. Then, she turned into the most cut throat person I have ever seen. I get called into the bosses office and she is sitting there with the other manager. She straight up told the main boss all of the stuff I had been telling her in private. She literally had written it down.
Never in my life have I ever been so backstabbed. I never even knew what that felt like. It was such a betrayal. She literally told the boss in front of me and my jaw just dropped. That's when I learned that she wasn't my friend at all and if anything, she was literally trying to gather dirt on me to use it against me.
I immediately started crying, excused myself and went home. I lost that job because of that.
I learned a huge lesson that day. This video is very important for people to watch.
I'm sorry you had to go through that!
@@missctolbertvoh aw thanks! I appreciate your video! Great job!
@@XCHADHIGGINSX shame on you for trusting a woman. I’m a gay man and I only trust men even if they’re straight. Women are horrible.
Same thing with dating a coworker. It is a risk that you two may be married, but at the same time, he or she can spread terrible secrets about you if you two separate or just have an argument.
I am 63 years old, and I just retired. You nailed it on the head! The amount of time spent gossiping, flirting, stabbing people in the back, it took so much productivity away from my department. It also made it extremely difficult for me to supervise people. Sometimes when we look at someone who is 35 or 40 we think that their maturity will match their age. We have to remember that some people have the social maturity of a 13 year old! Thank you ma’am for this wonderful video! I wish you much success!
After putting up with all that, I wish you a happy and enjoyable retirement.
I agree and enjoy your retirement
Congrats on your retirement! Also, you hit the nail on the head- I'm in a toxic workplace, and when I tell friends about what goes on there, it's EXACTLY like telling stories about little kids in grade one picking on and torturing each other, NOT people in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s!
This is precisely why i never mustered the courage to take up a job for a single day in my life. I thank God and then my husband for that.
Now, all i think about is how to prepare my 3 daughters for the inevitable.
@@maryanne7161you sound like an excellent mother - a full time job in and of itself, to be sure.
I agree! Yet, many of these companies want employees to be "Team players" and hangout at lunch, after work, and such. If you decline and keep to yourself they see you as standoffish and not a team player... Then, they wanna pressure you into these activities. Employers want you to form closer connections with co-workers because they want you to be emotionally invested in that job\company. It's all psychological manipulation smh
Righttt and I’m not interested in being emotionally invested AT ALL
Yeah fuck all that.
The company only sees us as numbers. Do your job and go home. The company ain’t worth it.
Yep and my excuse is always (im a single mom) I have to go get my kids or they have a game or a recital or something 😂
I cut that crap out. I don't except nothing free.
I agree especially about coworkers not keeping that same friendly energy after you leave.🤷🏿♂️
They care nothing about you once you're gone. Only a couple will. I keep in contact with a couple of my former coworkers but several labeled me as a friend. It was fake.
@@missctolbertvoh 🙏🏾Bless you 👸🏽👑
Bless you too!! All the days of your life you will be blessed!
Mine hung up on me this morning while I was telling her I was quitting after 3 days because the job isn't right for me, so I was informing them. No respect. I'm glad I dodged a bullet.
@@lauragraves4342 they did you a favor. 90% of your co workers are fake anyway. They want nothing to do with you outside of the workplace.
I laughed hard when she said people who seem to be friends will turn around and talk bad about each, because this is so true. I noticed that two colleagues who seemed to be buddy buddy both badmouthed each other when the other one was not around. People are so fake at work!
People will also set up to get information out of you as well. They start talking bad about that person to you and then the next day, they are in their face talking and laughing. Now that is very fake.
@@BB23573 I see that all the time in the workplaces. It is sad.
AMEN. I was so SICK of my coworkers wanting to know EVERYTHING about my life and asking all kind of personal questions. I knew DAMN WELL when I left that company, I would not be keeping in touch with ANY OF THEM.
So, not even when you meet the most amazing person there? Stuff like that does happen... thanks for showing me that there's more of you out there like the one that came and went out of my life for no reason! No hope in this world... 🤷♂️
You don't say anything, because they use it against you. But it is fun to screw with them a lil' if they truly are getting on your nerves, and slip in some misinformation. Some were actually getting smart to this last time I was in an office, and they would "warn" you about getting and digging up "the real truth" on you. It was a "we'll find out about you" vibe they had going on there and they'd say that and huddle in their little group too. Creepy folks if you ask me.
I'm dealing with one right now, and he's a weird black guy who calls himself a Christian, but I noticed that when I tell him ... ONE... thing.. he wants to know more and more about it. I just keep my space most of the time.
SAY IT AGAIN!!!!
@@RTDon AMEN. I was so SICK of my coworkers wanting to know EVERYTHING about my life and asking all kind of personal questions. I knew DAMN WELL when I left that company, I would not be keeping in touch with ANY OF THEM.
Honey you have just described my entire work situation. They talk about me and treat me so bad because I keep to myself. They all flock together, then turn around and talk bad about one another. They're lazy and get mad when they have to do real work, it's disgusting. I go in and do my job and leave. They can't stand it. Everything you're speaking is the truth!
@anniewilkins2620, I am exactly the same way. I come to work mind my own business do my job and go home. I do speak to a couple of people along the way, but most I stay as far away from as I can. I eat lunch by myself, and they call me anti-sociable and I turn and say no! I'm anti-drama!!! I say I am here to do a job, to earn a paycheck so I can go home and pay my bills. I'm not here to be your friend or hang out with you at work and definitely not after work. I told a lot of people during my lifetime, that is how you stay free from toxic people and you just feel better and live longer not having to deal with that type of asinine drama!!
Thank you for sharing 🙏 I can definitely relate
Yesssssss! I do the same. Work my ass off and go home. I love the company I work for💯💕
I’m in the exact same boat!!!
Tell them to F off
Don’t over share. Privacy is power.
I could work somewhere for 5 years and they still dont know shit about me. If they know your middle name, your favorite color, or your mamas name then you've shared way too much already.
Lol!!! Exactly 💯
The people on my team like mixing their personal like with work. I’m not into that, but they make you feel like an outcast if you opt out of after work events.
They definitely start to spread rumors and make up stuff about you when separate yourself from them. I'll be an outcast. My last job was very toxic and messy. There were many of them who were extremely jealous and hateful. God snatched me right up outta there. I stayed in prayer about it. I found out a lot once I left.
Ask God for holyspirit he will let you see easily who is ok and who is not, but this message is helpful fr fr
I agree. They're mad because you don't WANT to rock with them. Which is the equivalent to a child mad at another child for not wanting to be their friend. I stay to myself for a reason.
@@cj8803you nailed it🔨👏🏾
This is so true. I opt out of going to an office Christmas party at my boss’s house last year. Everyone was bent out of shape to the max about it. They don’t like me and I clearly don’t like any of them. I keep to myself, get my work done and will continue to move in silence until I get a better job.
You seem just like me! I’m friendly enough, but I really don’t want any bs or drama at work. So a lot of people see me as rude and stand-offish. That’s fine with me. I know they aren’t real friends. Lunch time I want nothing to do with coworkers, I take my lunch alone and relax. I’m very careful who I trust, and I don’t befriend people who feed off of drama and gossip!
Yes!! Coworkers are definitely not your real friends. All people in the workplace do is try to compare what you have to what they have. Anything you tell them they use it against you or tell other people at the job then drama comes
This is so me. I prefer to work through lunch and just leave early. I’m friendly but I like to keep my work life separate.
Oh well there issue not yours.
That part!
Same her I want nothing to do with those people. I used to sit in my car durning lunch just to avoid people wanting to sit with me and start gossiping or trying to get to know me SMH. I work from home now thank god
I stayed alone at my workplace. They were mad when I was selfish, but they got close to me to destroy me. I never should have let my guard down.
Yes, my sister..
People are so weird🤣 they getting their feelings because we don’t wanna socialize with them but when we do all they do is talk shit about the next person or complain.. like who would want to be around you in the first place
They tried to destroy me, but like a Phoenix...
i reread your comment. I am so sorry. My questions, to anyone moving too close is...(I SEE YOU) .. HOW EXACTLY CAN I HELP YOU???
This happened to me she came to me so nice and ended up bullying me for yrs she died 2 yrs later from a failed tumny tuck. Its the ones that appear to be super nice end up being the worst ones.
Your professionalism is your protection.
Amen to this. Never understood why people treat work like its high school
Junior High.
haha thats a true description... Its because some people never grew out of that mentality
*it’s
A lot of people stayed in that stage. So sad and annoying af
My high school days are over. I'm 57 years old, so I prefer to be alone at work. I don't really talk to my coworkers at all. Period.
I've been burned so many times trying to be friends with people at work over the years. I'm embracing keeping my personal life and work life separate now and not chasing colleagues, co-workers to spend time with me.
I just learned this the hard way. It’s a valuable lesson.
Same here. When I moved out of state, a co-worker who I thought was a friend was not. The supervisor was def a jealous hater. She hated the fact, I was very liked by her former boss who hired me. I surpassed them closing leads and wasn’t even there two weeks. Both of them were jealous that I had a loving and caring man that was proud to show me off. Whereas their bitter asses, were both begging their so called men to give them titles. It was so pathetic seeing them begging these men to be with them. (They would be on the phone and you can literally hear them asking) I would literally say to myself like focus on your kids, geez. 🙄 So being I’m older, I would tell them if a man really wants you, you don’t have to beg run or chase them. You two are smart and beautiful women. I was always positive and they were not. The supervisor fired me and couldn’t even give me a reason. All she kept saying I wasn’t a good fit. I’m glad she did, because the long term contract I ended up getting, I worked with 4 people and a manager and up to this day we all still cool. We were a small group and we all had our Caribbean culture in common. It was great vibes and no negative energy.
@@PrincessKimoSaki oh lord if these were black womenswear they were typical mammys & pick mes
@@se2664yes one was Black American, she was light skin with green eyes. The other one was Black American (Paternal) & Filipina (Maternal) mixed.
Work Place is where you meet the deceptive People to secure their Spot in the company
Bingo!!! Boom 💥 that is exactly what goes on. Many of them brown nose bosses and supervisors so they can secure their spot in the company. It's sad!
U are speaking truth, they will do whatever it takes, to make themselves look good.
Some managers also hang out with colleagues on a personal level and retaliate against others who they have conflict with.
That is so true. I saw that with my eyes in the workplace!
I was a good ceo for 30 years. I retired and there was lots of tears and goodbyes. All the ‘right things’ were said. I never heard from any of them after I left. I made people rich and well trained professionals. Made no deference.
You should reach out. Whether or not you believe it, your position might intimidate others a bit and make them hesitant to reach out. No one wants to bother the important person! Just something to consider ❤
@@dandelionkisssreach out for what? Those folks don’t care about him/her. Enjoy your retirement and don’t never look back.
They don't owe you anything.
I've experienced that too.
In my case, I tried to reach out to a leader who I really felt made an impact on me and enjoyed a friendship.
I never heard back!
I'm 36 and barely truly learning this lesson. I'm over trusting, forgive too easy, and chronically overshare (working on it). I'm starting a new job next week after basically getting bullied out of my job of TWELVE YEARS by a group of girls I legitimately thought were true friends. I'm watching this multiple times before I start the new place. They aren't your friends and will screw you in a heartbeat!
Thank you for this great advice and reminder! ❤
Yes ma'am, the chronically over share....I totally get it and regret it.
We all learn in life , better now you have that experience, it will allow you to move better , turn your trumas into superpowers
I wish you a backbone. I treat the workforce like I treat the streets.
I'm really sorry that you had to leave your job because of those horrid women. But yes, you MUST keep to yourself. You're there to do your job, earn that money, and go home. Personally, I think it's best to keep to one's self in general. There's a lot of rotten people in the world. I have a feeling that you're an extrovert and that's why you want to get to know people and speak to them, allowing them to learn about you. Please, you have to be strong and just look out for yourself. You can still be nice, just don't get personal. Best of luck.
"Girls??? They sound like gossip HAGS!!!" 😂😂😂😂😂
I am a people’s person by nature, I have learned through the years that it’s best to just stay to yourself. They can be nosey and envious of you if you appear to have it all together. I have a few co workers that I will go out and have cocktails with them only because we have worked together for over 15 years. They are positive people and have proven themselves through the years to be genuine.
Amen. I had a former co worker and we was tight. I mean met my friends and family. Eventually she resigned and moved. We maintain contact for a little, mostly me doing the calling. She didn’t even invite me to her wedding and I was def hurt by that. However she found me years later on Facebook to just be nosey, told me bits and pieces of her life, but STAYED in mines. Her Facebook is on private so you can’t even see her page. I eventually blocked her on LinkedIn.
This shook my wig. You are so right! I’ve noticed a pattern with me being too nice, ESPECIALLY in healthcare. That is a very toxic environment. My recent and current healthcare job I’ve been on some selfish, “I know I’m doing my job right, and I can always go somewhere else if you don’t like it.” I’m loving this message and me being enigmatic vs bubbly to everybody. “The best way to win the game is to not play it.” Got my subscription.
Welcome aboard!! Thanks for your subscription!! I'm happy you're here with me!
I trained in nursing at a small community hospital where the staff was very incestuous; General Hospital had nothing on this place! It was a fun place to work, but everyone knew everyone else’s business, and the gossip mill was never short of fodder; dating a nurse put me in the mill for a time, and it was incredibly stressful. After graduation, I took a job where nobody knew me. The toxicity of clinical nursing drove me out of the field and into an insurance job after 8 years. Nurses are treated like crap wherever they go, but at least there are no bedpans, hateful visitors, or the requirement to work weekends, holidays and off-shifts.
As a health care worker myself, I feel this 10 million percent! I've been at my current job for about 5 and 1/2 years now, and almost from day one people were talking crap behind my back and spreading rumors about me. And to this day, 90% of my coworkers wonder why after 5 years, they still barely know anything about me. They wonder why I only keep my social media for family and friends outside of work. 🤔
Aggy not shook ya wig lol IGHT lol I feel ya I was like dat in the beginning
Facts 💯. Never volunteer your personal information with coworkers.
True story
I like this>>>”Sometimes the way you win the game is simply not to play it!”… thank you ma’am!!!!
Being honest, I never wanted to play the game. However, I am told if I don't play the political game you lose, no recognition, no promotions. That's why I am in the same position 10+ years. Seems like you have to play to get noticed and all companies are the same in my country so moving makes no difference better the devils you know, at least this way I know who to stay clear of.
I'm 53 and it took about 45 years on this earth to realize that you don't have friends at work, you have colleagues. I've had so many all aged work friends dump me once I change jobs and never understood why. I wish I'd known this from the time I was a teenager. Would have saved me a lot of effort and hurt feelings. I blame sitcoms for making it seem like your coworkers are your family, lol. So I love you for addressing this! You will save a lot of people a lot of time and effort. ❤
Thanks so much! Unfortunately some people were calling this horrible advice and bitterness if you stay to yourself in the workplace. They attempted to make this negative but I know they're probably the very type I described
Those types love to gossip about everyone's business.
Yup! I've been work friend "dumped"before and I thought she was my best friend. We did lots of stuff together out of work. I found new job and tried to keep in touch with her several times and she just ghosted. Never felt so used! She would even tell everybody around, this is my bestie!!! Ummmm no, you used me!! I'm glad I'm a stay at home mom now and don't have to deal with that!
Omg yes!!! Workplace sitcoms of the 90s absolutely gave that impression!
@@Whocares158I worked as a server at my brother-in-laws restaurant 20 odd years ago..There was a server that worked Lunch shift til 5:00 with me. She definitely had the biggest mouth ever there, I purposely told her this long super made up story about something that happened to me & told her that it was between her & I Knowing that within one lousy Hour the entire restaurant including some of our regular costumers knew the tall I made up just to prove that she has the biggest Ass mouth ever!! It was such a far fetched story & the Dumb Ass believed & couldn't wait to tell the whole world!! I totally loved it!!! Maybe had I not said that this is confidential between you & I she may not of said anything??!!
YES! I just quit my job of 4-1/2yrs because it was detrimental to my spiritual health, my physical health and my mental health. God is the ONLY one that has my back in each of those areas. Amen!
Well said!
I had to learn the hard way not to hangout with people I work with outside of work, thank you for this message.
I knew that wasn't a good idea many moons ago lol. Never ever I will. I had coworkers even wants to pay for the drinks I still tell them no. The Sup and few coworkers they went that night. Few days later I heard the SUP got fired for clocking in employees when the weren't at work the next morning lol. Actually they all got fired 5 of them
These are the same reasons why I chose a job working by myself. I get tired of people attitudes and childish behavior. I don't like gossip, I don't like insincerity and most of all fake personalities. Some days you think you cool with someone, next day you walk in the office and they looking at you funny. Bottom line is, it's hard to please people, people are unhappy in their personal lives and they want you to be unhappy too.
Right! Exactly!! One minute they'll be talking and smiling at you and the next minute they'll be silent. Just a lot of off behavior🤦🏽♀️
❤❤❤
Thissss
Right on the money! It’s the “crabs in a bucket” mentality.
I’m 19 almost 20, fairly new to the workplace, been working at a grocery store for almost a year. Couldn’t agree more! I discovered just how hostile people can be in this job. I always lay low and remember I’m only there for a check.
I always view it as I have to personas Ive got cheerful welcoming customer service/work place then outside of work im just me but it makes it way easier for me to just withdraw from things that happen at work
I’m the same age as you and legit the same I’m here for money not to make friends! My job was so messy …grown people coming up to me asking me why I never talk to them so weird…lol
@@unluckyomens370 at work I act like a robot, both to coworkers and customers. If someone asks how I am I just say good.
@@janrebie I agree. sometimes in customer service we have to just remain a robot so we don’t go crazy.
Working in a supermarket is like living in a soap opera atmosphere
I too am private. First day of my job coworker had the nerve to ask - “how old are you”? 😮
my response old enough. Unbelievable.
Wow! So disrespectful!
This is 100% true. I don’t know why people think just because we’re coworkers we are automatically friends. I told a coworker we weren’t friends and she got offended and kept telling everyone, “Renee said we’re not friends.” Ok we’re not friends. She forgot to tell them about all the ugly, snarky comments she made towards me. She forgot to tell them how she’s jealous of me. I tolerated her but when she left I blocked her everywhere. Coworkers are not your friends.
This comment got me anxious, my name is Renée as well. So I thought someone exposed me online. But I got this as well.
I agree 100% don’t sleep with anyone that you work with. I have preached this for 26 yrs
Don’t poop where you eat
@@sharonmcdoniel9392 I'm trying to wrap my mind around this. Is that a metaphor or you meant it literally.
What a nightmare, even if they don't work directly with you. That way lies madness, and probably a chat with HR and your boss's boss. I know. I did that once. Never again, even when someone was interested in me (she was married, no thanks).
True
@@Cheerleader644860Metaphor. Think about how it could go wrong. Do you want your personnel life to be the work place gossip? How is the other party going to react if/when you break up? And most relationships break up. How will you get bad-mouthed/destroyed? You may be setting yourself up for needing to find another job.
All FACTS! Also, DO NOT connect with co-workers on social media.
I'm a 17-year-old male who is homeschooled and I've been struggling to understand workplace etiquette. Thanks for this invaluable information, I will keep this in mind! 👍
The golden rule is the most important conduct. The problem is that for the vast majority of adult humans this confuct does not apply to most people.
Never trust someone who freely shares intimate details about their lives. Also, be wary of gossip of all kinds. I would generally avoid talking about people who are not present, even if it doesn't seem that bad, because it can get bad very quickly. Avoid people who inflate the value of their own approval. Be wary of gifts, because a gift may make you feel obligated to that person somehow and can be used against. A gift is something given freely out of generosity, which you owe nothing for. Know your rights as a worker, look up HIPAA statutes and other workplace laws, especially about sick leave and discrimination
Good for you learn from others bad experiences. You will do good in life 😊 I learned the hard way not to freely trust people, trust must be earned.
Lay low see no hear no speak no
It depends on the job. In some careers, networking is required, so it’s best if one learns how to have professional relationships with clients and fellow employees without “dipping ones’s proverbial pen in the company’s ink” -crude but good metaphorical advice. Good luck in your endeavors. 🥂🖖🏼
I agree with you 100%
Never let your guard down. Be friendly with coworkers, but don't be friends with fake people. Go to work and go home. Just do your job and keep to yourself
EXACTLY!!!! That’s the best tactic. Don’t trust these people. Just always keep your guard up.
@@user-pn9xp1gz2l exactly why not make convo its just you'd want someone to answer you abt things not abt work if you had some not about work. You made friends in school high school etc at church why ppl feel the need to ignore ppl when talking to you and you might make new friends. Everybody doesn't have fake friends that they made at work.
I'm appalled to see how in this day and age that some people take staying to yourself and keeping your personal business personal as bitterness🤦🏽♀️😒. You under no circumstances are obligated to hang with, be romantically involved with, tell your life story or engage in the character assassination of other employee's in the workplace! You do what works for you though. I'm a firm believer in that but you must ask yourself is that wise in certain situations. I'm sure some people out here have met a real friend in the workplace and thats great. However, this is not everybody's story. When you see coworkers that are busy bodies, messy, rude, argumentative, crap starters and nosey you have the right to ignore them and keep your distance. This doesn't mean you're bitter or anti-social. This means you're using discernment and common sense! Again, for those of you who WFH and you say you're glad you don't have to deal with any of the things people who work in a corporation physically do is wonderful but not 100% safe for every individual WWFH. I know people who are still going through things with upper management right online. The truth comes out on Zoom calls and meetings. There are still people with remote jobs who come across messy employees, jealous employees, competitive employees and cutthroat managers, supervisors and corporate leaders who will lie, set stubbling blocks and try to pry in an employees personal business through emails, Zoom calls and meetings. This doesn't apply to ALL REMOTE WORKERS but for those of you who keep putting out the idea that WFH removes every issue from work is only speaking from your personal experience. A lot happens in the workplace remotely and if you're there physically whether some believe it or not. I can almost guarantee that those of you who said not developing friendships with your coworkers...and keeping yourself away from them on a personal level is negative and paranoia has more than likely slept with some of your coworkers over the course of your work history or you're a messy person within the workplace! I guarantee it!! How some of you got offended off of this video and tried to be combative about it exposes why you're offended! Why be offended simply off me giving reasons why you shouldn't be getting personal with people you work with? If you don't agree then keep it moving. IMO if you're upset about this video and you have a negative outlook and perception of it I guarantee its because it hit home for you and you're the exact type of people I'm referring to in the workplace. REAL TALK!! The bottom line is people should go to work to showcase their skills, gifts and talents according to their job description and title, clock out and go home. If in-between you're blessed to find love or genuine friendships then great for you! Thats your experience. Just be careful mixing business with pleasure and stop being overly comfortable, confident and trusting of coworkers cause you're there to work. People are at different levels mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Some are great at masking their true intentions and character. NOW EVERYONE GET BACK TO WORK CAUSE YOUR BREAK IS OVER😅😂😆🤣😹😭🤭
Thank you! I know I wasn't crazy and I would do just this and older women would be so rude and disrespectful. I would come in, speak and go to my workstation. They were so bothered by me minding my business and also the fact that I caught on so well. I had to leave that toxic environment.
I experienced that too at my old job. Their blood would be boiled cause you didn't tell them your story or any of your personal business for that matter. Coworkers feel obligated to know your personal business. When you keep yourself separated from them then you're labeled as difficult or rude.
Thank you. For this discernment
I 100% agree with you I left 2 jobs this year alone because of the gossiping, drama, back stabbing, and mind games were too much. I don’t see why people don’t take it seriously enough that stuff after a while takes a toll on you emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically because everyone at my old job quit since management was so bad and kept getting worse which left literally me to pick up the slack until they found new people. I only lasted 2 weeks after the last person quit and now I have to go through the trouble of finding another job which I’m hoping is full of mature ADULTS. My lesson learned is coworkers and management are not your friends you telling them your business can be detrimental to since your also playing with your money it’s really not worth it.
What does WWFH MEAN?
God snatched me from a job recently where it was nothing but family and friends and people were sleeping with each other! The owners daughter was HR! It was a whole mess! I also found out that friends of the owner were getting paid a higher wage than the other workers ! I’ve never in my life experienced such mess in the workplace ! I had to simply move on !
I just was in a very similar situation!
@@notjustaprettyface the only reason I stayed even a little bit was proximity to my home and good pay but never again!
Girl, I seriously needed to hear this today! I’m a lead at a warehouse and I’m nice to everybody at work, but ppl apparently take it wrong… I just found out from a maintenance worker that my supervisor was asking if I had something going on with the guys at work-and I have lunch with this lady twice a week! I ain’t sleeping with nobody, but she starting this rumor on me. Love your message! I’m going to be more guarded from now on!
That's how mess starts. I would stay away from her!! Don't tell her any of your business!! This is why I say what I say in this video. People are really trying to make it like there is nothing wrong with trusting and getting comfortable and cozy with people they work with. This is exactly why you cannot get personal with folks you don't know. Yes its possible to find a trusted friend or love anywhere in life but the chances of it happening with people you're supposed to be professional with is slim to none and its distasteful. The ones who are getting upset about this message are the very ones I talked about. I STAND ON THAT.
Yes! Tell it Ms.Tolbert ! Tell it! You are in the book for real! Esp working with black women ! Men in there too! But these Black Women it’s sad how they can tear each other down! Instead of building each other up and mentoring…. I can’t stand an old dried up hefa that acts so immature! The older women suppose to teach the younger women that’s in the Bible!
Yes u can't be too nice, just cordial some people take being too nice like u trying to hit on them or u looking for favors.
we're just too nice :( some people or I feel like the vast majority dont even know what being nice is anymore
Thinking the same thing👉🏽 needed to hear this💪🏾
You are absolutely spot on. Another thing to consider is that your employer doesn't care one iota about you, either. You are expendable. I've seen all the backstabbing, gossiping, etc , but I was taken off guard by how quickly and easily a company will turn on you. As soon as they start outsourcing, clean out your file cabinets and be prepared. I saw a lot of incredibly smart and valuable employees sent out the door with a box.
They indeed will do that! You'll think you can trust managers, HR and corporate but they're just as foul and messy as some of the employees
Don't fear working with toxic people, you could actually gain control over the situation. One thing about toxic people is they are operating out of fear. Fear is what makes a person have a negative reaction. If those people are operating out of fear, it's because they do not have self-control. Having self-control is a great way to help stop drama in the workplace. Most immature people copy the way other people are, if you are doing your job, they will do theirs, especially if you are a natural leader. Also, when dealing with immature people at work, you can ignore, "ignorance", even if they sit & gossip about you, Really the joke will be on them at the end of the day because they are the ones who are behaving like 15-year-olds in high school again. no matter where we work in life, there will always be someone immature, really, it's up to those who are mature to teach those who are immature by leading by example.
I definitely agree!
brilliant comment ❤
This is one of the few mature, positive comments on this video.
Most of the other comments are overly bitter, distrustful, and negative, with no team spirit. No one I would want to hire for my team.
@@calisongbirdMost people are speaking from experience. I can appreciate a positive comment a different perspective, but the truth is the truth. You can take your manager/supervisor hat off now. This is UA-cam not your job.
@@soulspirationgoddess Cool. So if people flood the comment section with racist and negative comments about black people they’ve encountered on the job, that’s just “speaking from their experience” then, right? Ageism is the same principle - and there’s a shit ton of it in the comment thread.
I never said I was a manager/supervisor, sweetheart. I’m just a person with common sense. Which is apparently not that common…
I don’t know if my iPhone is picking up on my conversations or what, but I felt like this message was divine. I literally felt in my spirit to keep my personal life personal when it comes to my coworkers. Even if that means removing them from my social media or limiting what I tell them.
This couldnt have came at a better time. Thank you!
My coworkers will not have access to my social media. People will look you up just to see what you have going on. I don't go by my name
Divine timing for me too. Just came out of a toxic workplace
@@EpicMoments-jh4ek That's exactly what I do & feel. Our social media time & info. is non of their business. God bless you✝️🙏🏽🙏🏼💚
@@mysmirandam.6618 Thank God you got out. I know how it feels to be able to get out of toxic workplace. Getting out of there is a blessing & hope God continues to bless you✝️🙏🏽🙏🏼💚
@@EpicMoments-jh4ekyou ain’t never lied. People are nosey and want to compare lives especially if it look like you doing alright! Plus I don’t need them in my business when I call out sick😂
I love showing people at work how little i care about them. I ignore them on purpose if it isnt work related.
I WISH I had your confidence @arielperez797😂
I’m dealing with that right now a lot of my co workers being looking at me funny because I stay to myself a lot and just do my job.
It bothers their ego, believe me. They feel like you're OBLIGATED to associate yourselves with them, and you are NOT. I always stay to myself at work. If I DO TALK, it's very rare.
Same here...I socialize about the actual work but never personal things I don't want them to know. I keep my personal life separate from work life.
@@cj8803but how do you handle backbiting or nitpicking that most times comes after that?
I absolutely agree with you. I'm over 55 and I have learned the hard way that they are NOT true friends. Do NOT give away any personal information. Everyone: please listen to this lady. She speaks the truth.
What’s wrong with maybe talking about your hobbies or where you’re from or something with your coworkers. It’s good to get somewhat close to the people you work with because it makes working easier, right?
This is why I keep to myself. At my last job I didn't talk much the first couple of weeks because it takes me to get to know you to open up. The boss got mad at me for not opening up and told another coworker to tell me to talk more. Then after I started opening up more and helping other people with their jobs if they needed it. They told me I wasn't doing my job properly. I walked out after that. And this is why I stay to myself. The restaurant ended up closing down and going into bankruptcy after I left.
Wow the restaurant closed down and went bankrupt!!!! Thats major! Your presence there obviously made a difference
Never forget. Just because people graduated from high school...doesn't mean they graduated from high school (mentally).
Exactly! 💯
As an introvert, it has got to the point where I can't trust anyone anymore. Even a waitress asking a friendly question, I'll get anxious...thinking, "Why are asking me that?" The world is scary and you have to protect yourself nowadays...
My biggest pet peeve is when coworkers and even managers ask about YOUR LIVING SITUATION. Like why tf do you care if I live with my parents, alone, have roommates, or a partner!? Like y’all need to focus on work more
@@se2664 exactly 💯 😁
13:49 Exactly,who cares if you live in Hotel & in a tent in someone's backyard!! Seriously Those are Definitely uncalled for questions & I personally would obviously answer in a very sarcastic manner 😅😆
@@se2664they be tryna count your pockets when they ask that, I told a co worker that I live with my parents and the look on his face was crazy 😂 like we make the same amount, what you expect?!?
You are who you associate with. I had a part-time job for years in retail, and had friendships with coworkers who had very confrontational relationships with management. I figured it was not an issue for me as I never called out, was always on time, worked extra shifts, and exceeded my sales goals every quarter. Boy was I wrong. Eight years later, out selling even full-time employees, never once did I get a raise and was always treated like crap. When I left and gave an ample notice, they couldn't get rid of me fast enough. Found out on the last day that my reputation with management was based solely on who I associated with and not my excellent performance. Don't make the mistake of thinking being exceptional at work will give you a pass on who you associate with.
It’s the women in their 50’s at my job that’s the worst just messy I stay to my self
Yes!! It's very sad!
Amen ma'am! I worked at a huge firm where I thought I had hundreds of friends. When I had to leave to take care of my disabled daughter oh, I sent an email out with my address and phone number telling people they could call or come by anytime. In a mostly white corporate environment, only two people can by later to see how my daughter and I were doing. Both were African-American, truly blessed Souls
Corporate America and the health care setting are filled with toxicity
This video should be required viewing for anyone entering the workforce. I wish I had seen this video when I entered the workforce back in 1987. I am going to share this with all of my younger family members. Excellent video!
Thank you so much! I think so too
This was a blessing to hear. I work a job with predominately men. It is a pool of affairs,gossip and unfriendliness. But I thank God I know who I am and I keep to myself. I have been called unapproachable and I’m happy about that. So this message was right on time that I’m doing the right thing by keeping to myself. Thank you Sis.
Isn’t it funny how women get razzed on by men for being gossipy and dramatic when they’re worse than we are lol???
@@GirlieCarolinas Even when I was 17 and worked a side job for a summer as the only girl at a supermarket with a bunch of boys, the amount of gossip was crazy!! Every time in the breakroom all they would do is gossip about the other teenage boys that didn’t have a shift that day. I learned that day that men are no different and should really not be claiming that women create drama when they love to do the same and I make sure to tell ‘em that if they ever wanna act like they’re better 😂
I just made this comment & then see this! Exactly!!! I was friendly to the men (& other females), but it ended at very basic knowledge of each other. I didn't want to know about them & didn't want them knowing about me, so neither of us knew too much -- if & when, the rubber meets the road. And you're never going to catch me sleeping with ANYONE. You'd get passed around like a dish at Christmas dinner. Those guys don't care about these sl*ts. I'm not going to be one or put off the look that I'm being one. I work in corrections, so this is extremely important. It looks so horrible on those females we all hear about, without asking about. 👏🏻
Ugh, the gossipers and the cheaters are people of low moral character. Stay away for your own mental health and your professional well-being. They will knife you in the back and smile to your face.
@@GirlieCarolinasquit being sexiest. There’s shitbags in all genders and colors You’re gossiping right now 😂
Amen!!!!!, am quitting my workplace and i pray God blesses me with a new job
Praying you get the job that’s just right for you with no drama
Be patient God knows what he's doing keep the faith 🙏 you will get the right job for you.
Thanks so much sisters
It’s coming 🙏🏽
Be sure to line up another job before leaving your current one…unless you have 1 to 3 mths savings to pay your bills, etc.
I had a coworker who tried to guilt trip me into driving him home almost every day. He tried to act super nice to me to manipulate me into doing this. One day, I had something else I needed to do right after work, and I had to explain that I couldn't drive him home that day and it isn't my responsibility. After that, he was super cold to me for weeks and barely spoke to me, and I realized he was just pretending to be friendly in order to use me.
Oh wow! This is why I say coworkers are fake as they come!
I had a similar situation when I asked them for gas money they switch up on me quick
Some coworkers like that nowadays don't value professional workers at heart, only on their "want and need." Karma will gonna get to them and gonna regrets.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that experience. The worst type of coworkers are the ones that pretend to be nice in order to take advantage of you.
Yes I know of a female at my current job who will burden anyone for a ride to and from work so I feel that she is not trying to get her a car as long as she can use somebody anybody to suit her purpose 😊
Companies need to be held accountable for letting their employees bully other co-workers to try & exploit each other to climb that Corp ladder. Not worth it. I shut it all diwn. Don't play.
I totally agree!!! Yes!!
STRAIGHT FACTS!! I recently left my job and refused to tell people details other than that I was moving out of town. Of course, this seemed to make people even more persistent and annoying. Instead of respecting the obvious and clear boundary that I put up, they kept harassing me for information on where I was moving to and what I was going to do. These are exactly the types of workplaces where bosses say that "we're like a big family here". No thanks, I'll decide exactly who I consider my family.
I do consider my work place family. But to me family is a cold preformative place that i interact with because I need to to survive so there isnt much difference
A company that calls their staff family, it's a red flag. My family is abusive and parasitical.
Agree.😊
@@unluckyomens370Poor thing.
The "We're family" at the workplace is pure bs "No, We're not family never have been & never will be."
Sooooo true. I got fired from my last job bc I fell out with my so called "friends". They switched up on me, never took accountability, and got mad at me bc I stopped f'n with them. They went to management, made up a bunch of lies, and them being the management pets, they sided with them. Fired me for "lack of professionalism". What a joke. But it's all good. I found another job, increased my salary significantly, and will be starting Monday ❤. Everything happens for a reason and God had bigger plans for me. Lesson learned, and NEVER AGAIN
Congrats on your new job!!! I'm so happy for you!!
@missctolbertvoh thank you so much 😁
@breebubssssssss take it from me. Start making plans to find another job, bc it will not get better and the stress of it all isn't worth it. Depending on the state you live in, you can still collect unemployment if you were fired for "cause." It can't be no petty shit like I was fired for, which is why I was ruled eligible for benefits. Still continue to do your work in the meantime but whether you leave on your terms or theirs, leaving is the solution. Good luck ❤️
It’s happening to me right now!!!! It’s horrible!!!!
@mariamendoza380 sorry to hear that. At least you are aware of the fuckery, as I was completely blindsided. Keep doing your job, remain professional and if it gets too bad, make your exit. These types of high school games at work isn't worth it
I’m a manager at work. I wish my employees would watch this! So many times people get burnt over being buddy buddy with coworkers and the same “besties” will come behind their back and tattle about what they do to me. If people just came to work, did their job, were kind but not obsessed with one another, workplaces would be much better. I never eat lunch with anyone. I eat in my car or in my office. I don’t owe my breaks to anyone I work with! I am there to do my job and go home. That’s it!! Anyone that gossips to you will be the one that is gossiping about you to everyone else with listening ears. I wish I would have listened to this when I first started my job. You are a very wise woman!
Exactly 💯. I don't understand why so many people don't understand this. I don't see anything wrong with just keeping things simple. Hi 👋. Bye 👋...or if there is a short general conversation then ok. Anything else is crossing the line. People you work with are some of the most fake, jealous, disrespectful, dishonest, competitive, opportunistic, morally corrupt, messy, unprofessional and deviant people you'll come across. The fact people get so comfortable and trusting of people they really don't know in the workplace is disturbing to me. I'm happy to hear that you're a manager with integrity!!! Big ups to you!!!!!
It kills me to see coworkers going to lunch together. Misery loves company. Lol they like to suck everyone into that mess. I never understood why people enjoy having sex with coworkers either. It’s just too much. This message needs to go viral✨✨
I agree with every single thing you said here! These are my exact sentiments!
Very wise woman. For those entering into the workforce, listen to this woman. There’s always drama at work. Do what she says and you can avoid toxic environments.
I recently quit my job , but that one of the best decisions I ever made.. the workplace was not for me. Since I left nobody have called me to check on me but I remember these people each of them have received a gift 🎁 for me .. there even a co worker I brought around my family and this co worker never called me either.. great video lesson learned
I keep to myself and do my job. People think it’s weird when you’re not friendly, I am not here to make friends. I’m here to get a paycheck, thank you.
I keep it professional and formal on the job. The Friend’s and relatives I grew up with, I continue to keep. I set boundaries, won’t be taking any risk with new people, both inside and outside the job. It’s pure madness out here, people can mess you up and ruin your life. Stay safe❤
Absolutely. I don't care how long I've worked with someone you still can't trust them. It's just not my thing with getting familiar with people I have to see everyday. The levels of mess and madness I see out here is crazy. I've seen people at work sleep with the wrong person and even if they wanted to stop they can't because they're so deep in it and if they cut it off depending on who it is they get threatened, harassed and mistreated.
@@missctolbertvoh I’ve even noticed that work friendships don’t last. There’s usually conflict, tension and resentment that builds up until arguments happen because their values, beliefs system and interests is no inline.
@@gdisprint2928 that is very true. People at work will act one way towards you but if they have certain relationships with other people they're moved to act and treat you differently based on what others are saying and telling them about you. When you stand for something and refuse to be sleeping with who you work with and you don't hang out with who you work with and have to see everyday, you're usually cut off by them or avoided until they want to be bothered. That's why you don't allow anyone you work with to disrespect you or bring you into mess.
So right
I fought a co worker, cursed out a few, some tried to get freaky with me . I took me from 17 to 23 to realize socializing at work always end up bad. I love working remote . Plants, distribution centers, CALL CENTERS, fast food, retail, hospitality.. I’ve worked so many . I love how I know how to handle myself better as an adult with co workers and the public. They WILL not call you back if you lost your job unless they wanna get ☕️. ESPECIALLY if it’s a small town. They WILL throw you under the bus behind your back . They will get mad if you don’t talk to them about anything besides work. “Stuck up” used to bother me but not anymore. Call me mean I simply do not care. But then it can turn into workplace bullying which I’ve learned also to always keep a paper trail.
Sleeping with coworkers is messy and sleeping with people with people under or above you in seniority is usually against company policy. No one I work with is privy to my address, my personal life, or anything else. We can be friends at work but once we walk out the door, that relationship is over. She is absolutely correct. And beware of people who are overly nice to you - they're usually jealous or have an ulterior motive.
Absolutely correct
I wish someone gave me this advice 30 years ago. It would save me so much energy, time, and disappointment.
Everything she’s saying is facts, I’ve been saying this for years to ppl. I don’t associate with nobody, and they have a problem with that. I care less how they feel, don’t involve myself with no shenanigans on any job. I just go to work and go home, I’m not with it. Women please! Stop laughing and joking around with these men on the job, that’s most definitely a danger zone. A lot of men will have a issue with u if your not talking to them. Bc other women be all in their face, they think every woman suppose to do the same. Nip that in the butt at the gate, by keeping your distance. The devil is everywhere, seeking whom he can devour.
I wish I could like this comment a thousand times!! Every word you spoke is true. You must keep your distance from men in the workplace and those messy women!
@@missctolbertvoh Facts….
@@Blessed602Girl you sound like me, men think you are stuck up when you don't engage with them. I don't play with men at the workplace at all because many begin to pass their place and flirt. A lot of other women laugh with these men so they think that all women are the same. No we are not Sir.
@@AriaPringle9053 that’s facts, their vibes just make u uncomfortable when their in your space. Bc u no they trying their best to get a conversation out of u. Their looked over like a elephant in the room, that boils them over, don’t give a damn! about their feelings.
The entitlement these men feel in the workplace is crazy. Like sir, get over yourself. Not every woman is going to be feeling you. 😒
I agree with you 100%. Don’t let them visit your home number one! At work, you are there for business. Thanks for all that you said!!!!
Yep, this video is spot on. I spent my 20s after college navigating the corporate workplace culture traps you speak of. Messy, gossipy coworkers. Married bosses sleeping with subordinates, etc. The manipulative games. Hidden agendas of jealous, toxic colleagues at play. And THE biggest trap: any and all personal details gathered about you WILL be weaponized and used against you later. Honestly can’t understand why this information isn’t required learning for the youth prior to moving into the workforce.
Absolutely should be required learning. Many families are afraid to have certain discussions. The truth is, love drives out fear. You should never want a daughter, son, neice, nephew, etc to have to learn these hard lessons or feel trapped in a toxic workplace for fear of not being able to provide for themselves. The answer is NEVER "that's just the way it is", but often times that will be the advice you get from "family". Stay close to wisdom my dear. God Bless & Continued Success in the workforce.
@@HisBaby-u9u almost caught the Holy Ghost off your post 😂😂💯💯💯 Sadly, thing is directly to the part family plays. My biggest reconciliation was coming to terms with family- and blessed to say my folks are happily married 51 yrs and I grew up in a Soul Food Sunday dinner kinda family on both sides. NOT ONE relative warned me or gave me the real on coworkers. The aggressive office politics, the power cliques, the bosses who expect you to kiss up to gain favor or do dirt including work sabotaging to force your hand if they decide they want you to leave. Smdh I definitely got no advance warning and going through some of the worst treatment including discrimination and sexual harassment, I either got the “thats how it is (as in, be strong enough to put up with it)” or in the final straw cases, I got effin HORRIBLE advice- like talking to HR about an escalating matter when I should’ve been seeking legal counsel, protecting my interests first and not the company. HARD ASF lessons learned alone. BUT, definitely made me stronger, convinced me to always trust my instincts for all workplace situations and not to give a second thought to well meaning family/friends to validate me when I’m convinced most are geared to gaslighting on some give (evil) people the benefit of the doubt. 😂😂😂 No Sir!!! I know the game AND the score now
The problem is most people want to learn things the hard way. No amount of warnings, advice etc will work.
Didn't work for me nor for my daughter
@@maryanne7161 But that’s passive! It’s one thing for an Elder to teach to prepare a child/young family member for what lays ahead. If they reject that information? It’s on them. But personally, that’s not an Out to excuse simply not giving them necessary, fact of life information. Lol no different than sex or drugs or warning kids to beware and watch out for thieves and predators. Everyone is NOT your friend.
@@seensay2132 No, its fatalistic and pragmatic. I was just trying to state things as they are. I did my bit by warning my daughter. Now, its upto her to heed that warning or keep getting hurt.
After years of workplace misery, I work from home. I decline work social events I’m done with office politics and forced socializing. My bosses know to tread lightly with me
This is true! I'm friendly and bubbly. I had an issue with over sharing and trusting people. Long story short, I'm learning to SHUT UP, NOT OVER SHARE AND TO NOT GOSSIP. I'm at home right now but my husband used to tell me all the time and discern the people I was around. He knew and I learn slowly but surely. God is good!
Wonderful! We all live and learn sis!!! You'll never be the same when you realize your mistakes but turn them around
Amen, same!
Idc who the person is, i stay private. I share only what's safe to share. And the part of your coworkers not calling to check up on you after you get fired or decide to stop working, is very true. Also..no romance at work. It will always backfire. Thank you for the amazing work you do. I appreciate it all. Stay blessed.❤❤❤
Well said. You're correct! You must keep it to hello, good morning, good evening or have a great day and keep it moving
I've had a few good friends that were co-workers that called me after I was terminated. They just wanted to apologize and tell me they were sorry to hear about what happened. That's a rare occasion for that to happen.
This is 100% spot on, Warehouse jobs are horrible about this. I was always known as the quiet, weird, or stuck-up employee because I never associated with co-workers unless it was work related. I never went to the company cookouts, parties, or any social event that my employer hosted. I took my breaks in my vehicle. Finally, I had a manager call me into his office and scolded me for not being social with the coworkers. I quit the next day. It blows my mind how people literally live for drama and conflict. My peace is something I treasure.
I agree! 100% I was bullied at a job where I refused to let everyone know about my personal life. It was literally like high school surrounded by mean girls. While I enjoyed the work and my boss I finally left and said to her "I just don't fit in here."
I anit never leaving my job for bad coworkers. You have to battle through it.
@@you_only_have_4000_weeksI’m struggling with this rn, how do u ignore favoritism?
I was bullied also and to the point of suicide. I had to walk away from that job. Now, God had another plan for me. I'm an artist and preparing to open my etsy store in the future. Stay encouraged.
Glad u finally had stood up for yourself NEVER allow anyone to make u feel afraid to stand your ground no matter the circumstance as I had learned cause tho my personality overtime sprouted I still never told em much about me cause it ain't they business
@@you_only_have_4000_weekswell that is if that job don't bring your nerves over the top cause some folks just don't tolerate bullshit forever