Yes, exactly. There are plenty of people that I do not care for their behavior but I am consistently the same with them. I don’t hate because hate isn’t in me. I might distance myself, but there is no need to treat them unkindly. I get that they can only love me to the extent that they love themselves. It has nothing to do with me. Thanks for pointing this out. ❤
This was a whole SERMON! I NEEDED THIS! I’m tired of employers & fake friends. I have virtually zero friends anymore, confirmed by this powerful message.
A-men 👏 A-men 👏 ToGodBeTheGlory I have never in my life time ever heard any words preach like this 🙌 👏 🙏 😢😢ThankYou so 🙏 ❤ very much 🙏 God has given me this answer..This morning 🌄 all praises to Almighty God f
You cant please everyone. You could be an angel sent from heaven and there will stilll be people who feel some way about you. dont focus on what people feel about you. focus of Your relationship with Jesus
So true and alot of people have some envy or issues they need to work on, as we all do but some people are truly sick.I watched a few smirk when you have an unfortunate event.
its a heck of a thing to help someone you've known since you were kids. Help them get a job, give rides even though they were out of the way. Give them encouragement that it will get better and then find out later they were talking about you like a dog and turned people against you.
Cut off those that don’t value you. ✂️ This could go deeper than just personal relationships, but also how the job values you, your management, and co-workers. Your healthcare providers. Your parents and maybe even your church!
Exactly 💯 The longer you keep a toxic, manipulative, and selfish person in your life, the worse they become over time. They become more bold and more blatantly disrespectful, because boundaries were never set. I’ve seen it firsthand and eventually got these people away from me. It’s not good for anyone’s self esteem to keep these people around. Thanks so much for this! 💜
People truly do what you allow. If you allow it there will never be any change or respect for you coming from them. I dismiss people all the time if they overstep boundaries I set. I remove, delete and block anybody who shows disrespect towards me. I don't care who it is
I had to cut family members off last year cold turkey. Just press a button and you’re gone. So simple and one came at me sideways trying to get cute and I checked her real good. By letting her know you figure it out don’t try to make it look like I’m the issue look at yourself you of piece of garbage~
Some ppl who have not received real love dont know how to love or even show it. You don't know which one you're encountering at the time, but it generally shows more how they are, not you.
That’s not what the video is about tho. Everyone knows who they ‘treat differently’. Look how someone speaks to a janitor versus a manager. That’s how they feel about you.
People will also treat you the way they perceive you. I've realized this and the dangerous part is we can subconsciously shape ourselves according to others perception if we aren't strong or fully grounded in having a solid foundational self
@VeenaMichelle, you are very discerning and spoke a truth. You can have knowledge based on experience, but if you are perceived as not being confident, people will treat you as if you don't. If not careful, you will find yourself questioning your own self and behaving according to their perceptions of you..
Yes people often project their stuff onto others. It usually has nothing to do with you and can be a reflection on how they feel about themselves. Either way, no one should allow themselves to be mistreated, used and abused.
Partially true because people treat you bad because you are accomplishing things that they won't. They have high expectations but low effort. Jealousy, envy and admiration.
Hey beautiful lady how are y'all doing powerful message frist time watching pray for me please no family struggle is real loving hair skin flawless people listen to this woman OMG thanks for sharing blessings 🙏
Hey beautiful lady I have God daughter married ex Military man beats her mistreat kid's he cheats she won't leave him give me some advice to help her leave in comment section thanks for sharing blessings
They also treat you the way they do because that’s just who they are. It’s their character. Some are cool, some are nice, some are jerks, some are just plain rude. You will come across it as long as you live. People are like this everywhere.
@@corsicanlulu Pay attention to why. Are the other people making them feel special? Some people are insecure and need to feel validated all the time. Being kind is not enough for some.
I have an aunt that does this. Every time I see her she brings up the fact that I lost my house 15 years ago. I had just lost a job and was going through a hard time. But I bounced back and I'm much more successful now. Yet she still likes bringing it up.
People, research narcissistic abuse on UA-cam and you will know exactly what this lady is describing and how you can deal with these types of people and also how to heal from codependency. You don't have to suffer. Show yourself self-love and ditch anyone who mistreats you. Be ruthless and have boundaries. No one has time for bullshit mind games. Just surround yourself with empaths who genuinely care about you the same way that you do. Give toxic people the pleasure of your absence because they don't deserve your presence. Start giving to people who really love, support and cherish you. The minute someone (who is supposed to love you) treats you like an enemy, let them go. Don't stick around, wasting your precious time and energy trying to convince them of your worth when they're committed to misunderstanding you. There are much better people in this world who already know your worth. Value them instead.
I have siblings like this. Only choose to see how I acted as a teenager and not the grown up I am now. I have no contact with them now and I have no relationships with them
I took care of and helped to raise my Wife's children and they were treating me disrespectfully and showing ungratefulness for the sacrifices that I made for them I finally got tired and stopped wanting to be associated with them. I Also have a brother who for years treated me like I was a piece of his personal garbage and now we have stopped speaking with each other because of his betrayal and his traitorous behavior towards me. So What you were saying is 100% correct I had to learn that lesson the hard way. A special person in my life told me that "you don't have to kiss no one's azz" and "When someone tells you they azz stink the first time believe it"
@@missctolbertvoh I spoke to her about it and I was told that I was putting between a rock and a hard place... so I started handling it on my own by stopping being so nice and doing everything they wanted. Things did get a bit better and I learned that I had to Make some people respect me. And that I couldnt "buy" love and respect.
There’s NO DIFFERENCE in a marriage either! Some men will marry you knowing that they don’t even really like you but can come up off you and will treat you like garbage bcuz they have you trapped in a marriage that they don’t really want but YOU will try to stick through it and make work! All the while wasting time!
True but in marriage there's supposed to be the taken of the vowels seriously. For better or for worse. This is not excusing bad behavior of your spouse at all. It's unacceptable!!!! However, God gives clearance of divorce for adultery only. Your spouse may have some spiritual things and childhood issues going on with them and need prayer. A marriage is so different from two people shacking up or sleeping together. Married couples have to be more patient and understanding with one another.
Just got out of that situation. 5 years I can’t get back. Dealt with infidelity, a plethora of lies, and other embarrassing mess. Never again. I’m divorced and now at peace.
@@missctolbertvoh That's not the only grounds for divorce abuse is as well God divorced Isreal and remarried her facts so He doesn't condone abuse either people need to only listen to God pray he's the only advisor you need people trust n pray if there's abuse leave don't end up unalived God's will is his word he use a action not just words 😔
they don't have you trapped in a marriage, it was your decision to marry them and you can divorce them too and if a woman will try to stick thought it and make work then that's the woman's mental health issues she needs to deal with to overcome codependency and being a fixer
My mother. My family. My last relationship & his smear campaign against me. I loved him & honored all of them. I was loyal. I have cut off every single person in my life & Feeling very alone. I will never forget this message. Thank you sister for this 💯
U are right. I’ve been abused by my family for years and I’ve finally felt comfortable enough to not spend days or time with them. It feels so good to not be criticized, judged, talked down to, listen to yelling, drama, triggers. The whole time they felt like they hated me but expected me to stay around and be fine with the way they treated me. They don’t care about my safety. Which is a reflection of themselves. It’s funny they think people can’t be happy without them. I am the happiest I’ve ever been. And u are right, no texts, no calls. If I’m not on Facebook, I don’t exist to them. Good then! That’s why I no longer have FB! Snarky comments, disrespectful vibes, bad moods. They can keep that!
So true! People’s energy and actions towards you blatantly shows you how they feel. If they really love and care about you, you would know without a doubt if they did!
You are right, if you want to know a person's character, just watch them, they don't have to say a word, their actions or behavior speak for themselves.
People do to you what you allow them to. No one is perfect, but If I love you, then you should love me back. The words that flow from a person's mouth, and their actions, paints the picture of what they are. Hurt people, hurt people. Don't be anyone's punching bag. You be the better person and walk away.
Sad but true. It happens to me all of the time. My former wife took everything I had and left me. After my accident, my friends ignored me because they didn't benefit from me anymore.
I always say that..stay around someone for just a little bit longer and you'll see their true colors..you just need to pay attention and when you see it believe it
You know, I broke off several situations at work, because of this very thing. You try to treat people with respect and compassion but yet they treat you like you don’t matter or you’re just an afterthought. I will not be taken for granted. You can only do that to me maybe twice. First time I’ll probably give you the benefit of the doubt. Second time, I’m done. I will freeze you out like I never ever knew you and keep it moving.
Absolutely. You can be a good person who is trustworthy and has a good heart and soul but if a person feels a certain way about you based on what they perceive or project, they will treat you as such.
I know how you feel. I feel head over heals for a guy at work and we even kissed and I haven't kissed anyone for 9 years and we flirted with each all the time and hung out but once his ex came back into his life and he kicked me too the curb but I was supportive and wished them both happiness. It hurt a lot but then she broke his heart and came back to me and once we kissed he wasn't interested anymore. I finally had to tell him off and cut it off. Still sad about it .
You teach people how to treat you. Learn how to walk away. No is a complete sentence. One can be of our color but not our kind. Family too. People project how they feel about themselves onto you. Thank you
Completely ignore these people as much as “possible and don’t invest energy, time, emotions into them! Treat them as they are irrelevant and non existent! Narcissistic feed off your energy. Be the example and give them 0
Yes. This is why I don’t deal with people. People throughout my life treated me badly in spite of my caring about them…this includes family members, which is why I am cutting everyone off
REPOST! Preach Big Facts THATS WHY I DONT TRUST NOBODY BUT GOD! And I Have Peeped How People Have Treated Me FOR YEARS AND NOW I HAVE PUT THEM ALL IN GODS HANDS AND IM MOVING ON!💯🙏🏽✨✨
I don't get it either. I think some people just settle and accept certain things because they don't believe they can do better or they don't believe they deserve better
What I’ve learned from this young lady is let go and let God ,you don’t have to have these people in your life ,you give them over to God you continue praying for them, but you don’t have to be involved around them for them to continuously, whether it’s your mother, your father, your daughter, your cousin, your niece, So called friends And X family members. you separate yourself and you pray for them.
Well Understood! That's Why I Cut These Individuals Off 37 Years Ago And Never Looked Back. God Does Not Want His People To Be Doormats! Once God Delivers You From Something You Don't Look/Go Back!
I've learned to stop giving people the benefit of doubt Especially when their hearts are far from God . This goes for kin folks , associates and etc. I don't hate them , but I love them from a distance and will still help them only if God speaks to me to do so but never out of my own emotions. 🙏🏽✝️
Thank you for this! I am no longer allowing people to shade me and not reciprocate kindness because of a fear of being called mean. If I don't like how a person treats me or how I feel when I'm around them, I have the right to remove myself.
Ive gradually cut the users & narcs out, took time. Recently someone who acts like a friend but I never hear from was on the scene acting like my best friend. Why? Turns out shes getting married and needed help. With that I cut her right off. We really need to be wide to these low lifes. As I weeded out these negative relationships. Be prepared there is a time of aloneness in the aftermath because you need to heal. Its essential to got through this to pull you through to the greener pastures on the other side. Stay strong with God.
It was meant for me to see this for confirmation. Last week I decided to block and delete a person because of shady comments and they would always say for the most part I’m just kidding. I didn’t buy it and because I’m evolved on a higher level of consciousness it didn’t bother me like it would the average person. I just simply said to myself this is what you think of me and it stems from a strong jealousy root because I use to work with this person. I come to realize this person admired me but was jealous of me and because I didn’t share the same views about how some of us in our race are pathetic losers. A lot of black folks don’t like to hear it from their own people. But thanks this video came on time for me😊I know longer will waste time for three red flags. The first flag I’m blocking and deleting you!
Jacqueline, l had a similar situation with a former coworkers, I'm not one to call out bad behavior verbally, but what I did was block them, from my phone and pray for them, NOONE SHOULD PUT UP WITH NASTY BEHAVIOR.
I have learned this the hard way. This is why I no longer have friends and I am working on going no contact with family. I grew up being emotionally and verbally abused so it was hard to set boundaries and know my worth!.I let people show me once who they are...then I believe them and move on!
OMG!!!! God sent me this video!!!! I been struggling so much w/this person who calls me her best friend & we get along fine when it’s just us but when other ppl come around she always has to one-up me in some way or say & do something to let everyone know she can belittle me - and after 30 yrs of this I’ve finally decided I have to end this & I don’t have anyone to talk to about it - this video is speaking directly to me
WOW you are definitely talking about me. My ex family members treats me real bad behind my back trying to keep me down but Im just living my life trying to finish my bachelor's degree and move to Texas to start my business.I don't even talk to them no more and I put God in my life he is my guidance today
That’s right, get that degree and keep it moving. You do realize that they are trying to distract you from achieving. When you get your degree, don’t say nothing about your plans. Make them In secret and just go and don’t reveal your address. It will be lonely but your already lonely with them in your life now. Stay focused and God will bring new opportunities and new ppl into your life. God bless you and your future.🙏🏼
@@learningalot231 Yes Lord! God has been in my life for years. And I'm not lonely I'm just alone because God is my friend foremost. He will make sure I get what I need for myself. I praise is holy name already thank him everyday for what he has done for me. And nobody can't prevent me from being successful and definitely not able to take my degree from me once I get it. I pray for family and people that does wrong things towards me. That's what God wants me to do. He will bless me over and over and over again so I never worry about others.
I come from a sick family who ask me to be a caregiver everytime they are in crisis. Instead of thank you, i am devalued, abused,maligned and undermined. My MD told me to stay away from them for the sake of my health. I am much happier now. Thanks for this confirmation 🎉😅😅
It's not how you started, but how you finished.... Stay humble and move forward without the foolishness... He/She is worth your time. No more wasted time/years... because you can NOT get that time back! YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE! 💝🙏🏽🤗
This same message can be spoken about so-called family as well, including some immediate family members. i speak from experience, in my life up until recently. This is right on time and on point.
You described my family to the T. Everything you said, and I mean EVERYTHING is exactly how I'm treated. I'm 72 (going on 48 😉) I'm being ignored like I don't exist,....until they need money. I have 3 boys and one bipolar daughter. When I don't do what they want me to do, or say something that's benefical for their souls (remind them what the Bible says), I get ghosted. No calls, no txt, nothing. Even my grandchildren, (who are old enough to think for themselves, (8-30 years old, don't call.) My family is scattered over the States,.... Texas, Tennessee, South Dakota , Chicago and Georgia. It took a while but God let me know, (the hard way), that I don't need them. He says" I"M ALL YOU NEED, TRUST IN ME AND LEAN NOT TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. So I've put MYSELF on a pedestal and spoils myself. 🙂 Nobody can make me happy like I can. I wish I had a friend like you, you speak the truth and I thank you for your wisdom. I just had to sub.
What I spoke on concerning family is so common. It's wild how many people in your family can really be like this. It's even funny how some of them can turn crazy on and off. I'm not playing with the devil. Blood or not. Period!
@@missctolbertvoh The Bible speaks of how in the last days, men's love will wax cold, and their thoughts will only be for themselves....men will become lovers of themselves. You are such a dear. Love you, my baby sister in Christ.
Many of our relatives have things going on that reflect a current or past relationship, but they take their feelings out on the people close to them. Therefore, you teach them to respect you and not allow yourself to be disrespected.
Thank You for this. I have been giving people the benefit of doubt. After the funeral of my husband, they disappeared from me. They hardly checked on me. They thought they I will be dependent on them but God provided. And is well.
Wow praise God. He has indeed given me wisdom! Since I was a little girl I've been able to see deep into some things and people. I see things in layers
People talk badly about you because it makes them feel better about themselves. People like this have low self-esteem, and to give themselves ego boosts, they quietly humiliate people who may not ever be aware they are being picked on. That being said, UNDER NO AND I MEAN NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU… give even the slightest care in the world about what they are saying.
This really hit home. I'm currently dealing with this from a so called friend, that only calls me for favors. I officially cut him off a couple days ago. And I feel better for it.
I thank God for where I am today ! Cause I may not be where I should be! But I thank God I'm not where I use to be ! I give Praises to God !! Amen 🙏🏽✝️
And this is why being alone is great and powerful! People are just draining and negative towards you being successful they want to bring you down to the level of their miserable life.
I've had to cut off so many people that were draining me. If they are meant to be in your life they will make sure to keep their connection to you. If they were never there for you the moment you stop saying yes to them they will literally fall to the wayside.
I was just praying about this early this morning regarding family! Pouring out my heart to the Lord and letting His presence and Word console me. Opened YT and your vid came up. First time it was recommended. It really spoke to my heart and mentioned my secret prayers. Also, confirmed a way I should handle things going forward. Big THANKS!
You hit it on the nose...just had to be walk away from my nephew who I've always loved to pieces but who has never valued me...learned family tradition..so not all his fault ...treat me like a groupie or I need to kiss his ring...but calls me when he in need ...his actions have shown it clearly i have no value...so I told him tske me back to my place...no contact since...it hurt but I it get ..cant make people love you but you gotta love yourself...love yourself enough to let go of abuse of any kind...
All my life I’ve dealt with this from family, so called friends and strangers. I am just now at my grown age deciding to say no and placing boundaries where they should have been from the start. Pple will most certainly treat you how they see you whether it’s weak, strong etc. I mostly dealt with this with my parents and siblings I finally just said enough is enough now they call me mean, anti social and moody to them.
let them say what they want, Shirly Lee Ralph said "(They don't have to like you, They don't even have to respect you, but when you look in the mirror you better like what you see), You stood up for yourself by cutting them off, you like what you see!
Its better to be alone than to be treated like garbage from so called fake friends. You see once you get rid of them your blood pressure will go down because this is exactly what happened to me.
GOD must wanted me to see this video, such a divine message, Thank you LORD for your Wisdom that you speak through Miss. Tolbert, May her UA-cam channel and more continue to prosper, Amen Amen
they treat you the way they feel about themselves. you accept it based on how you feel about yourself
Now this was exactly what I was thinking.
This!!
💯 correct
Yes, exactly. There are plenty of people that I do not care for their behavior but I am consistently the same with them. I don’t hate because hate isn’t in me. I might distance myself, but there is no need to treat them unkindly.
I get that they can only love me to the extent that they love themselves. It has nothing to do with me.
Thanks for pointing this out. ❤
No they treat you how the feel about you
"People will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Exactly
That. Correct.
Love this ! 😍🙏🏽
Yes indeed ☝🏾
My former boss treated me like I was dumb. Today was my last day of work.
Good for you!!!! Go where you're celebrated!
@@missctolbertvoh thank you.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!
@@siennamillerbroadcast thank you.
Anywhere you go not gonna be perfect but you have a right to be treated with respect.
This was a whole SERMON! I NEEDED THIS! I’m tired of employers & fake friends. I have virtually zero friends anymore, confirmed by this powerful message.
I don't have a lot of friends either. I don't want anybody fake around me
@@missctolbertvoh Yes! Living in Atlanta metro, it seems to be all that’s here unfortunately. Thanks again. I’m a new sub. Glad I found your channel.
Thanks for your subscription! I'm happy you're here with me!
@@missctolbertvohI know that's right.😊😊😊
A-men 👏 A-men 👏 ToGodBeTheGlory I have never in my life time ever heard any words preach like this 🙌 👏 🙏 😢😢ThankYou so 🙏 ❤ very much 🙏 God has given me this answer..This morning 🌄 all praises to Almighty God f
And if you're the person who cannot let go of what someone did in the past, you need to walk away.
I needed to hear this...sometimes having a big heart and a sweet demeanor can make you fall victim to shady and grimey people.
Don't I know it! Lord knows, I'm a witness.🖐🏼
Facts sis 🙏🏿 stay blessed
@@Kevin.Anthony3 💯
so true
Only if You allow them to treat you badly in your kindness. Being Sweet does not mean being Stupid.
You cant please everyone. You could be an angel sent from heaven and there will stilll be people who feel some way about you. dont focus on what people feel about you. focus of Your relationship with Jesus
So true and alot of people have some envy or issues they need to work on, as we all do but some people are truly sick.I watched a few smirk when you have an unfortunate event.
its a heck of a thing to help someone you've known since you were kids. Help them get a job, give rides even though they were out of the way. Give them encouragement that it will get better and then find out later they were talking about you like a dog and turned people against you.
Amen
It would be nice for once when good people meet other good people in life. Leave the rest to battle it out.
@@DelicateDecay interesting comment
Cut off those that don’t value you. ✂️
This could go deeper than just personal relationships, but also how the job values you, your management, and co-workers. Your healthcare providers. Your parents and maybe even your church!
Amen!
I absolutely agree...it ANYONE you interact with.
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN 🎉🎉🎉
That's right...Amen to that!
Family
Exactly 💯 The longer you keep a toxic, manipulative, and selfish person in your life, the worse they become over time. They become more bold and more blatantly disrespectful, because boundaries were never set. I’ve seen it firsthand and eventually got these people away from me. It’s not good for anyone’s self esteem to keep these people around. Thanks so much for this! 💜
People truly do what you allow. If you allow it there will never be any change or respect for you coming from them. I dismiss people all the time if they overstep boundaries I set. I remove, delete and block anybody who shows disrespect towards me. I don't care who it is
@@missctolbertvoh Yes indeed 💯
I had to cut family members off last year cold turkey. Just press a button and you’re gone. So simple and one came at me sideways trying to get cute and I checked her real good. By letting her know you figure it out don’t try to make it look like I’m the issue look at yourself you of piece of garbage~
Even former "family members" including former son!
@@missctolbertvoh I know that's right it doesn't matter who it is
Also the way that people treat you is not about you it's about them a big reflection of them .
That's so true.
Soooooooooooooooooooooo #TRUE 🎉
Some ppl who have not received real love dont know how to love or even show it. You don't know which one you're encountering at the time, but it generally shows more how they are, not you.
That’s not what the video is about tho. Everyone knows who they ‘treat differently’. Look how someone speaks to a janitor versus a manager. That’s how they feel about you.
Yes, and what you said is not a contradiction to the message of those video.
I always say.... If you want to know how someone feels about THEMSELVES..watch how they treat others.... my spirit won't let me treat people cruelly.
💯💯💯
Just Because You Knew Me Then..Doesn't Mean You KNOW Me Now.😊
Exactly 💯
I'm been saying the same thing too
Your spirit irritates their demons is usually the reason for this unprovoked nasty behavior gossip and slander.
That is a no brainer. They get upset for something simple, it is resentment.
People will also treat you the way they perceive you. I've realized this and the dangerous part is we can subconsciously shape ourselves according to others perception if we aren't strong or fully grounded in having a solid foundational self
@VeenaMichelle, you are very discerning and spoke a truth. You can have knowledge based on experience, but if you are perceived as not being confident, people will treat you as if you don't. If not careful, you will find yourself questioning your own self and behaving according to their perceptions of you..
@MZESSENZE yes exactly! Thank you for this informative saying 👏🏽
This lady ain't lying.
Run for cover.
Be absent from their presence.
Learn to live without them.
Or they could be miserable and want to take it out on you.💯💯💯🧠💡.
Yeah that too! Miserable people always want to take out their misery and pain on you
Yes people often project their stuff onto others. It usually has nothing to do with you and can be a reflection on how they feel about themselves. Either way, no one should allow themselves to be mistreated, used and abused.
This is the one!
No Lies told! I don’t care how someone may fake like a person. That evil will show up sooner than later 💜
Soooooooo #TRYE,I've been saying this for a long time,A person's #TRUE character #ALWAYS come 2 da #light ...#EVENTUALLY 🎉
It got to come out exactly
Definitely. You will always be found out.
AMEN 🙏
I don't help people who are selfish now...and family will always take advantage of you the most. We live in a very narcissistic society.
Yes, yes, yes. You can't keep giving folks the benefit of the doubt. Forgive, and keep on moving.
Give them the doubt of the benefit.
Yep
❤🔥🔥🔥truth will set you free this message is 🔥
This is a word!!
Like they say (action speaks louder then words). 💯 facts.
Yes, I also believe that people are projecting Their insecurities on you.
Amen
Yes indeed I always watch facial expressions and behavior never mind the lying tongue
Yes they do!
@@latonyaadams4304Which is why I am getting a DI.VO.RCE!!
Partially true because people treat you bad because you are accomplishing things that they won't. They have high expectations but low effort. Jealousy, envy and admiration.
Sis, you ain’t done nothing but teach AND preach, AMEN🙏🏽🙏🏽
Amen!
Hey beautiful lady how are y'all doing powerful message frist time watching pray for me please no family struggle is real loving hair skin flawless people listen to this woman OMG thanks for sharing blessings 🙏
Hey beautiful lady I have God daughter married ex Military man beats her mistreat kid's he cheats she won't leave him give me some advice to help her leave in comment section thanks for sharing blessings
❤
Beautifully said ❤❤❤
They also treat you the way they do because that’s just who they are. It’s their character. Some are cool, some are nice, some are jerks, some are just plain rude. You will come across it as long as you live. People are like this everywhere.
Absolutely!!!!
The way people treat you is the way they feel about themselves.
Very true!!! Yes!!!
True
Yes! Often times folks are Projecting how they truly feel about themselves onto you or they are stereotyping.
i dont think thats true because i see how they treat me badly but treat other people really nicely and respectfully.....
@@corsicanlulu Pay attention to why. Are the other people making them feel special? Some people are insecure and need to feel validated all the time. Being kind is not enough for some.
I have an aunt that does this. Every time I see her she brings up the fact that I lost my house 15 years ago. I had just lost a job and was going through a hard time. But I bounced back and I'm much more successful now. Yet she still likes bringing it up.
Cut her off. She's not your cheerleader.
@brownbunny04, to hell with that nasty aunt. See her and not notice her.
Toxic
God is ALWAYS on time with a message...
Always!
People treat you the way they feel about THEMSELVES
Absolutely!!!
Take your power back and let them go. Move on to bigger and better things.
Amen you can say that again
I’ve been verbally abused by coworkers, family and so called friends. Now I’m pushing 40 and it only takes one time to disrespect to disrupt my peace.
If a person show you who they are believe them. Let them go. These people are narcissists, don't keep feeding them.
Facts
People, research narcissistic abuse on UA-cam and you will know exactly what this lady is describing and how you can deal with these types of people and also how to heal from codependency. You don't have to suffer. Show yourself self-love and ditch anyone who mistreats you. Be ruthless and have boundaries. No one has time for bullshit mind games. Just surround yourself with empaths who genuinely care about you the same way that you do. Give toxic people the pleasure of your absence because they don't deserve your presence. Start giving to people who really love, support and cherish you. The minute someone (who is supposed to love you) treats you like an enemy, let them go. Don't stick around, wasting your precious time and energy trying to convince them of your worth when they're committed to misunderstanding you. There are much better people in this world who already know your worth. Value them instead.
You are speaking facts. I finally realize who is for me and who is not.
It’s just like being in a toxic relationship and the toxic person leaves the relationship they did you a great service to you.
I have siblings like this. Only choose to see how I acted as a teenager and not the grown up I am now. I have no contact with them now and I have no relationships with them
Yesssss, when people show you who they are,thats what you better believe 💯 % of the time
Yep
I took care of and helped to raise my Wife's children and they were treating me disrespectfully and showing ungratefulness for the sacrifices that I made for them I finally got tired and stopped wanting to be associated with them. I Also have a brother who for years treated me like I was a piece of his personal garbage and now we have stopped speaking with each other because of his betrayal and his traitorous behavior towards me. So What you were saying is 100% correct I had to learn that lesson the hard way. A special person in my life told me that "you don't have to kiss no one's azz" and "When someone tells you they azz stink the first time believe it"
Your wife should have corrected her children. She was wrong allowing them to disrespect you.
@@missctolbertvoh I spoke to her about it and I was told that I was putting between a rock and a hard place... so I started handling it on my own by stopping being so nice and doing everything they wanted. Things did get a bit better and I learned that I had to Make some people respect me. And that I couldnt "buy" love and respect.
Big Facts.
Step kids are the worst
You are right, some siblings are even worse than friends.
There’s NO DIFFERENCE in a marriage either! Some men will marry you knowing that they don’t even really like you but can come up off you and will treat you like garbage bcuz they have you trapped in a marriage that they don’t really want but YOU will try to stick through it and make work! All the while wasting time!
True but in marriage there's supposed to be the taken of the vowels seriously. For better or for worse. This is not excusing bad behavior of your spouse at all. It's unacceptable!!!! However, God gives clearance of divorce for adultery only. Your spouse may have some spiritual things and childhood issues going on with them and need prayer. A marriage is so different from two people shacking up or sleeping together. Married couples have to be more patient and understanding with one another.
phamiliar face, lost
Just got out of that situation. 5 years I can’t get back. Dealt with infidelity, a plethora of lies, and other embarrassing mess. Never again. I’m divorced and now at peace.
@@missctolbertvoh That's not the only grounds for divorce abuse is as well God divorced Isreal and remarried her facts so He doesn't condone abuse either people need to only listen to God pray he's the only advisor you need people trust n pray if there's abuse leave don't end up unalived God's will is his word he use a action not just words 😔
they don't have you trapped in a marriage, it was your decision to marry them and you can divorce them too
and if a woman will try to stick thought it and make work then that's the woman's mental health issues she needs to deal with to overcome codependency and being a fixer
That is so true. People are a trip. Alot of people just want to abuse you, take advantage or steal from you. It has to come to an end.
Don’t be a garbage can for negativity
Right
Sad but true.
My mother. My family. My last relationship & his smear campaign against me. I loved him & honored all of them. I was loyal.
I have cut off every single person in my life & Feeling very alone. I will never forget this message. Thank you sister for this 💯
You're welcome my beautiful sister 😘
1
Most people don't have friends but have God so I choose to have God in my life rather than having many fake people around me.
These type of people deserve to get ghosted.
Yep!!! Period
YOU ARE DOING NOTHING BUT TELLING THE TRUTH. AMEN AND AMEN 🙏
LORD, I know this wisdom is coming from YOU! Amen!!! 🙌
U are right. I’ve been abused by my family for years and I’ve finally felt comfortable enough to not spend days or time with them. It feels so good to not be criticized, judged, talked down to, listen to yelling, drama, triggers. The whole time they felt like they hated me but expected me to stay around and be fine with the way they treated me. They don’t care about my safety. Which is a reflection of themselves. It’s funny they think people can’t be happy without them. I am the happiest I’ve ever been. And u are right, no texts, no calls. If I’m not on Facebook, I don’t exist to them. Good then! That’s why I no longer have FB! Snarky comments, disrespectful vibes, bad moods. They can keep that!
So true! People’s energy and actions towards you blatantly shows you how they feel. If they really love and care about you, you would know without a doubt if they did!
Exactly nothing else other than that makes no sense.
You are right, if you want to know a person's character, just watch them, they don't have to say a word, their actions or behavior speak for themselves.
Exactly just like we know Jesus loves us no doubt He does.
@@beebeesfuntasticadventures6110yep
People do to you what you allow them to. No one is perfect, but If I love you, then you should love me back. The words that flow from a person's mouth, and their actions, paints the picture of what they are. Hurt people, hurt people. Don't be anyone's punching bag. You be the better person and walk away.
Abuse is more than just verbal and physical. There are some out here who will use you up for all they can get. And feel entitled the entire time
Sad but true. It happens to me all of the time. My former wife took everything I had and left me. After my accident, my friends ignored me because they didn't benefit from me anymore.
Guess your former wife and your friends were in cahoots with leaving you alone.
I always say that..stay around someone for just a little bit longer and you'll see their true colors..you just need to pay attention and when you see it believe it
Very true
This video is nothing but the truth!!!! This is why I have set up healthy boundaries with people, whether they like it or not! Family is the worst 😏
You spoke the real
🎤 drop
You are so right, some siblings are worse than friends.
@@beebeesfuntasticadventures6110 Big facts!!!!!
What U say, AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN ,,Sister 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
You know, I broke off several situations at work, because of this very thing. You try to treat people with respect and compassion but yet they treat you like you don’t matter or you’re just an afterthought. I will not be taken for granted. You can only do that to me maybe twice. First time I’ll probably give you the benefit of the doubt. Second time, I’m done. I will freeze you out like I never ever knew you and keep it moving.
This it the total truth
Absolutely. You can be a good person who is trustworthy and has a good heart and soul but if a person feels a certain way about you based on what they perceive or project, they will treat you as such.
I feel like crying, I needed this message a long time ago , it would have saved so much pain/heartache/sadness/stress thank you, thank you , thank you
You're welcome. Don't cry!
I know how you feel. I feel head over heals for a guy at work and we even kissed and I haven't kissed anyone for 9 years and we flirted with each all the time and hung out but once his ex came back into his life and he kicked me too the curb but I was supportive and wished them both happiness. It hurt a lot but then she broke his heart and came back to me and once we kissed he wasn't interested anymore. I finally had to tell him off and cut it off. Still sad about it .
You teach people how to treat you.
Learn how to walk away.
No is a complete sentence.
One can be of our color but not our kind.
Family too.
People project how they feel about themselves onto you.
Thank you
Completely ignore these people as much as “possible and don’t invest energy, time, emotions into them! Treat them as they are irrelevant and non existent! Narcissistic feed off your energy. Be the example and give them 0
Bingo!!! I absolutely agree. I do just that!
Yes. This is why I don’t deal with people. People throughout my life treated me badly in spite of my caring about them…this includes family members, which is why I am cutting everyone off
REPOST! Preach Big Facts THATS WHY I DONT TRUST NOBODY BUT GOD! And I Have Peeped How People Have Treated Me FOR YEARS AND NOW I HAVE PUT THEM ALL IN GODS HANDS AND IM MOVING ON!💯🙏🏽✨✨
This 🎯👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I did the same thing. Enough is enough! Amen!!
Amen!
AMEN AMEN,,SISTER, ME 2🎉
Amen
I am tired of being disrespected in public by people who are not up to me.
Amen!!! Black queen!!! I been preaching the same thing. You gotta watch out for people who only support you when it only benefit them.
You talking truth
@@eavymuturuh3717👍
This is so true the workplace is a war zone.
I never understood “loving” someone who treats you badly. What is there to love about them??
I don't get it either. I think some people just settle and accept certain things because they don't believe they can do better or they don't believe they deserve better
@@missctolbertvoh What you said and (growing up) they may not have an example of what healthy love is/consist of.
What I’ve learned from this young lady is let go and let God ,you don’t have to have these people in your life ,you give them over to God you continue praying for them, but you don’t have to be involved around them for them to continuously, whether it’s your mother, your father, your daughter, your cousin, your niece, So called friends And X family members. you separate yourself and you pray for them.
On point
Well Understood! That's Why I Cut These Individuals Off 37 Years Ago And Never Looked Back. God Does Not Want His People To Be Doormats!
Once God Delivers You From Something You Don't Look/Go Back!
AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN🎉
I've learned to stop giving people the benefit of doubt
Especially when their hearts are far from God .
This goes for kin folks , associates and etc.
I don't hate them , but I love them from a distance and will still help them only if God speaks to me to do so but never out of my own emotions. 🙏🏽✝️
Well said!
Including family. 🙏
Family😔
ESPECIALLY family.
Thank you for this! I am no longer allowing people to shade me and not reciprocate kindness because of a fear of being called mean. If I don't like how a person treats me or how I feel when I'm around them, I have the right to remove myself.
Ive gradually cut the users & narcs out, took time. Recently someone who acts like a friend but I never hear from was on the scene acting like my best friend. Why? Turns out shes getting married and needed help. With that I cut her right off. We really need to be wide to these low lifes.
As I weeded out these negative relationships. Be prepared there is a time of aloneness in the aftermath because you need to heal. Its essential to got through this to pull you through to the greener pastures on the other side. Stay strong with God.
Exactly how they treat you is how they view them selves. They project that unto you. I don’t have time for drama. I need my peace
Amen!
I use to say, "YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU!"
Preach! Say it louder for the people in back 🎤
Trust me, Satan is showing his true colors through people I know, love and care about.
I just cut off 1/3rd of my family after realizing this.
It was meant for me to see this for confirmation. Last week I decided to block and delete a person because of shady comments and they would always say for the most part I’m just kidding. I didn’t buy it and because I’m evolved on a higher level of consciousness it didn’t bother me like it would the average person. I just simply said to myself this is what you think of me and it stems from a strong jealousy root because I use to work with this person. I come to realize this person admired me but was jealous of me and because I didn’t share the same views about how some of us in our race are pathetic losers. A lot of black folks don’t like to hear it from their own people. But thanks this video came on time for me😊I know longer will waste time for three red flags. The first flag I’m blocking and deleting you!
Jacqueline, l had a similar situation with a former coworkers, I'm not one to call out bad behavior verbally, but what I did was block them, from my phone and pray for them, NOONE SHOULD PUT UP WITH NASTY BEHAVIOR.
I have learned this the hard way. This is why I no longer have friends and I am working on going no contact with family. I grew up being emotionally and verbally abused so it was hard to set boundaries and know my worth!.I let people show me once who they are...then I believe them and move on!
OMG!!!! God sent me this video!!!! I been struggling so much w/this person who calls me her best friend & we get along fine when it’s just us but when other ppl come around she always has to one-up me in some way or say & do something to let everyone know she can belittle me - and after 30 yrs of this I’ve finally decided I have to end this & I don’t have anyone to talk to about it - this video is speaking directly to me
WOW you are definitely talking about me. My ex family members treats me real bad behind my back trying to keep me down but Im just living my life trying to finish my bachelor's degree and move to Texas to start my business.I don't even talk to them no more and I put God in my life he is my guidance today
That’s right, get that degree and keep it moving. You do realize that they are trying to distract you from achieving. When you get your degree, don’t say nothing about your plans. Make them In secret and just go and don’t reveal your address. It will be lonely but your already lonely with them in your life now. Stay focused and God will bring new opportunities and new ppl into your life. God bless you and your future.🙏🏼
@@learningalot231 Yes Lord! God has been in my life for years. And I'm not lonely I'm just alone because God is my friend foremost. He will make sure I get what I need for myself. I praise is holy name already thank him everyday for what he has done for me. And nobody can't prevent me from being successful and definitely not able to take my degree from me once I get it. I pray for family and people that does wrong things towards me. That's what God wants me to do. He will bless me over and over and over again so I never worry about others.
I come from a sick family who ask me to be a caregiver everytime they are in crisis. Instead of thank you, i am devalued, abused,maligned and undermined. My MD told me to stay away from them for the sake of my health. I am much happier now. Thanks for this confirmation 🎉😅😅
I am planning to publish my story to inspire others who share my experience 🙏🙏🙏
It's not how you started, but how you finished.... Stay humble and move forward without the foolishness... He/She is worth your time. No more wasted time/years... because you can NOT get that time back! YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE! 💝🙏🏽🤗
Amen!!!!!
If ur kind or nice n respect anyone, thy treat u badly. Move on, dnt waist ur goodness on people who dnt appreciate you.
Sister, you are correct.Many women need to hear this and apply it to their lives.
This same message can be spoken about so-called family as well, including some immediate family members. i speak from experience, in my life up until recently. This is right on time and on point.
Absolutely!
Sis, you’re not lying.
You described my family to the T. Everything you said, and I mean EVERYTHING is exactly how I'm treated. I'm 72 (going on 48 😉) I'm being ignored like I don't exist,....until they need money. I have 3 boys and one bipolar daughter. When I don't do what they want me to do, or say something that's benefical for their souls (remind them what the Bible says), I get ghosted. No calls, no txt, nothing. Even my grandchildren, (who are old enough to think for themselves, (8-30 years old, don't call.) My family is scattered over the States,.... Texas, Tennessee, South Dakota , Chicago and Georgia. It took a while but God let me know, (the hard way), that I don't need them. He says" I"M ALL YOU NEED, TRUST IN ME AND LEAN NOT TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. So I've put MYSELF on a pedestal and spoils myself. 🙂 Nobody can make me happy like I can. I wish I had a friend like you, you speak the truth and I thank you for your wisdom. I just had to sub.
What I spoke on concerning family is so common. It's wild how many people in your family can really be like this. It's even funny how some of them can turn crazy on and off. I'm not playing with the devil. Blood or not. Period!
@@missctolbertvoh The Bible speaks of how in the last days, men's love will wax cold, and their thoughts will only be for themselves....men will become lovers of themselves. You are such a dear. Love you, my baby sister in Christ.
I love you more♥️😘
Yup you ain'tneva lied. I pray for your healing and happiness.
Many of our relatives have things going on that reflect a current or past relationship, but they take their feelings out on the people close to them. Therefore, you teach them to respect you and not allow yourself to be disrespected.
Husband in hospital and OMG THE TRUTH CAME OUT! Family showing me what I never knew. Need to hear this!
Thank You for this. I have been giving people the benefit of doubt. After the funeral of my husband, they disappeared from me. They hardly checked on me. They thought they I will be dependent on them but God provided. And is well.
You're very wise for your age. I was taken for a ride because of being nieve. You're blessed with wisdom. You're telling the story of my life
Wow praise God. He has indeed given me wisdom! Since I was a little girl I've been able to see deep into some things and people. I see things in layers
@@emyleewong3600no but I do one on one sessions
People talk badly about you because it makes them feel better about themselves. People like this have low self-esteem, and to give themselves ego boosts, they quietly humiliate people who may not ever be aware they are being picked on.
That being said, UNDER NO AND I MEAN NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU… give even the slightest care in the world about what they are saying.
'Guarding his phone with his DEAR life!' Took me straight out 😂🤣. She broke ot down. Wake us up, sis!
Lol! I gotta tell y'all the truth!
This really hit home. I'm currently dealing with this from a so called friend, that only calls me for favors. I officially cut him off a couple days ago. And I feel better for it.
Actions speak louder than words!!!✨✨
Absolutely 💯
You trying to genuinely bond with him, but he closes you off😩. He’s doing that because that’s how he feels about you! So true
Yep. He either doesn't want to be emotionally tied to the woman, he's not into her like that or he has someone else so he's keeping a wall up
Thank you for this. That's why I decided to stop talking to a couple of friends.
I ain't goin back 💯 staying solo out here 💯
People treat you the way you let them treat you!!
AMEN 🙏
I thank God for where I am today !
Cause I may not be where I should be! But I thank God I'm not where I use to be ! I give Praises to God !! Amen 🙏🏽✝️
And this is why being alone is great and powerful! People are just draining and negative towards you being successful they want to bring you down to the level of their miserable life.
I've had to cut off so many people that were draining me. If they are meant to be in your life they will make sure to keep their connection to you. If they were never there for you the moment you stop saying yes to them they will literally fall to the wayside.
I was just praying about this early this morning regarding family! Pouring out my heart to the Lord and letting His presence and Word console me.
Opened YT and your vid came up. First time it was recommended. It really spoke to my heart and mentioned my secret prayers. Also, confirmed a way I should handle things going forward. Big THANKS!
Wow! God is so awesome!!!!!
Yes! He truly is! And those that serve Him are lovely💛
100% wholeheartedly agreed...i don't care about words. I listen to their actions towards me, always.
People do to you what you allow them to do. If something doesn’t feel right , STOP.
Actions speak louder then words period .
Yep!
You hit it on the nose...just had to be walk away from my nephew who I've always loved to pieces but who has never valued me...learned family tradition..so not all his fault ...treat me like a groupie or I need to kiss his ring...but calls me when he in need ...his actions have shown it clearly i have no value...so I told him tske me back to my place...no contact since...it hurt but I it get ..cant make people love you but you gotta love yourself...love yourself enough to let go of abuse of any kind...
All my life I’ve dealt with this from family, so called friends and strangers. I am just now at my grown age deciding to say no and placing boundaries where they should have been from the start. Pple will most certainly treat you how they see you whether it’s weak, strong etc. I mostly dealt with this with my parents and siblings I finally just said enough is enough now they call me mean, anti social and moody to them.
let them say what they want, Shirly Lee Ralph said "(They don't have to like you, They don't even have to respect you, but when you look in the mirror you better like what you see), You stood up for yourself by cutting them off, you like what you see!
Its better to be alone than to be treated like garbage from so called fake friends. You see once you get rid of them your blood pressure will go down because this is exactly what happened to me.
GOD must wanted me to see this video, such a divine message, Thank you LORD for your Wisdom that you speak through Miss. Tolbert, May her UA-cam channel and more continue to prosper, Amen Amen