If anyone is watching this and thinking, “you only gave it a week, people will reach out”: It’s been over 2 years and I’ve had ZERO past coworkers reach out. I messaged a couple on LinkedIn to check in, but was not responded to. Coworkers are NOT your friends, they’re your 9-5 team members.
And then when they need something (when they find out you work at their desired company), then out of the blue they reach out to you. I just ignore them. You are right. Coworkers are not your friends.
Hey man sorry you feel that way but I feel that work is work and we shouldn’t look for friends at work until you get to know them but as for as my opinion you can have work friends. It would have to be mutual understanding of boundaries between work and outside of work
@@andrewbrendan1579 That’s a good question dude. If they were ordered to stop talking to me it’s their lost. I am to this day still friends with coworkers from jobs 10 plus yrs ago
That truly sucks. However, considering your former boss was a bit of a douche, could it be possible he restricted your former coworkers from staying in touch with you?
Yeah but it’s that the same for all friendships? You make friends in school. Move to a different town and you don’t see or hear from most of them ever again.
Many ppl find their spouses/partners at work. Where else is anyone going to see you on an everyday level. Even though it's a controlled environment it can work. As you can see what ppl's character is like. Same with friends.
Josh - I have worked in Technology for 28 years now and I can tell you from my experience that nobody cares. I, like you, have worked my butt off, but at the end of the day they don't care about you. I have finally gotten it just these past few years. Work just provides a lifestyle...that's it. It's not worth it to miss family functions, etc for work. When you're gone, they'll forget about you. They won't sit around thinking "Wow, Josh really worked hard". That just won't happen. This is the beginning of you understanding that. Every company will be the same moving forward - remember that.
I had one boss who continued to reach out and go to dinner with me for a couple years after I quit. She also invited me to her family thanksgiving one year which I graciously accepted. We did eventually stop communicating but I do think you can make some genuine connections at work. Sometimes.
same reason we paid everything off refi ed our house and i quit the rat race...American coporations dont give a dam about you, you are a commodity and if you are not making money for them you are out of there...screw them!
Exactly. It's great to enjoy your job but never ever think you're work defines you. They'll cut you loose and forget you no matter how great you were. Never live for the weekends partying. Try to see each day as a magical day where something great can happen.
That's not true. I had to get a reference for another job recently and the recruiter reached out to my first employer. She told me that they said that they still talk about me there and how good of a worker I was. And it's been 6 years since I worked there. I reached out to them to thank them for the reference and my previous boss told me my name constantly comes up at the Christmas parties and work events. Everyone really loved me there. There are rare moments in life where you can make a lasting impression on people.
@@signalfire15 Yes, there will be times you make a lasting impression on people, but once those people are gone from the company there will be no more talk of what a hard worker you were. In your particular instance the individual was asked for input about your performance and your former coworker clearly wanted to provide a positive response because sometimes people do have relationships at work, but Companies have resources. Anyone you don’t have a personal relationship with will always see you as a resource because that is what the company wants. They want to be able to use you for what they need and dispose of you when they want and compensate you at the lowest cost possible. I worked for a company for 34 years and was laid off. My company escorts people out on their last day. It’s pretty standard.
That’s what I do. It is work and that’s what we are there for. I would rather be known for doing a great job at work rather than being ‘popular’ with colleagues.
My mother told me the same thing, what she didn't tell me was how unacceptable that behavior is to my coworkers and how they will undermine your efforts, smear campaign you, and create a toxic environment for you, they begin to view you as the enemy, it's the.... if you're not one of us, you must be one of them, mindsets
@@iiCounted-op5jx….the world has become incredibly Non-Social, so it is incredibly limited. I’m from Gen X & communication was a thing then, not so much anymore. I wish you well, buddy..
@@iiCounted-op5jx nothing is written in stone. There are always exceptions to every rule. It's possible you could make a lifelong friend at work, but tread carefully. The workplace is an environment fraught with pitfalls and landmines. Sometimes, people aren't what they appear to be. Sadly, employers often foster a culture that pits employees against one another. The best advice I can give is, keep your business to yourself, no matter how friendly your coworkers may seem to be.
Thank you. This is the best advice for me. I bought lunches for two of my co-workers. Both of them never thanked me for the free meals. Instead they gossiped about me to other co-workers. I thought they were my friends. I was wrong.
Its sad that people are fake at work. I dont think you should be friends with every person or that that should be a goal. But life is about connections and we spend a majority of our time at work. Why people can’t just be genuine anymore and are fake, competing, gossiping, just not caring at all about anything, is just sad to me. It shows the state of the world. We shouldn’t have to worry about if people are going to go behind our backs and being mean like that 😕
It’s because if you act in an authentic way, with a sense of humor, or honesty about situations then HR will be on your ass. Corporations don’t want people forming genuine connections otherwise people will start to share their greivences and unite
If a company says, "we are like family," run in the opposite direction! It's a head-game to gain your trust and trick you into believing the relationship is something that it is not. When it comes to working for someone else, your only loyalty should be to yourself. People at work are not your friends.
@@nicholascarroll1225 yep! Cults pray on people who are lost and searching for connection. No friends? We'll be your friend. No family? We'll be your family.
They try so hard at my company to force relationships outside of work! I have already learned a long time ago to just mind my own business, perform my job well period. I don't want or feel the need to share anything about my life outside of work (which is wonderful and I intend for it to remain that way). Its not good to mix the 2 worlds.
At the job that I recently resigned from, my supervisor organized a Christmas gathering for our team to attend a function after work. I made up an excuse that I couldn't attend due to other priorities. I didn't want to because there was a lot of hidden animosity and backbiting among team members. I wanted to only interact with my coworkers on the job and not outside working hours. My supervisor wasn't pleased with it and made a big deal that I wasn't engaging enough with my coworkers, stating that we are family and need to be connected for support. This is when I realized that I was being pressured to go along with her agenda. It's ridiculous. Not only do you have to put up with their nonsense on the job, but you are coerced into socializing with them on your off time whether you want to or not.
Yes I was offered a job in Hong Kong many years ago and I knocked it back for this reason. Sure, you got to have housekeepers to smooth the way but at what price is your loss of privacy and sense of self? The hours were excessive and there was a strong drinking culture and the competition to display wealth was wearing. Also I don't speak Cantonese, or Mandarin and felt it would lead to issues. This proved to be a wise decision. People think it's all about money but it's your life to value or waste.
People who I thought were my friends at work were actually going behind my back and telling My supervisor bad things about me. Stay away from those who seem nosy about your life. They're just looking for gossip material to tell someone else and can be used against you.
that's the entire workforce in each hospital in Ca. areas. You have to figure out what you were willing to share and that way if the info is used against you, it doesn't hurt. But you have to give them some info, otherwise they feel like you don't like them and they gang up against you.Where as other states i've worked in, it's not required for you to reveal info about yourself and it's not seen as negative.
I've had people I didn't even talk to do that to me because (I found out later) they were afraid I'd take their job at some point. Apparently, I was better at doing their old job than they were. I was 'let go' because, and I am not kidding, I was seen rolling my eyes. **insert eye roll here**
This is so common. It's especially common if you're bright, hardworking, and really competent. If you exceed goals too much, to do too well, even your own boss will consider you a threat. Never mistake ANYONE in HR as your friend, and never assume they are there to help you, even if you are being truly harassed. If anything, they'll take notes to create a fake file of "documentation" of complaints and errors. They will do anything to keep from having to pay you for unemployment or workmen's comp injuries, even when it's GLARINGLY their fault. I was so naive about all this when I was younger. Now I try to help others who don't know these things.
I love making good friends at work, but it's very rare. I have started viewing work as a means to an end. I cannot wrap up my emotions in my work like I used to (If I can help it). I am still human after all. But some people have taken my attitude towards work as me not caring. But it's really me putting my job in it's proper place. If I wanted to maintain my personal happiness I had to disconnect emotionally from the job.
Never got how hard times define relationships. Truth is most hard times people invite into their own lives then look for their friends to save them. Nah, you did the hole, now dig your way out. Self accountability is the key. I don't ask you to suffer with me and I won't choose to suffer with you.
Be cordial, be friendly but always maintain professionalism. In my mom's 40 years of working, she made just a handful of friends and only one of them helped her out when she fell on hard times. Real friendships at work are incredibly rare.
Coming upon 6 years at my current job, and out of nowhere people are people are treating me as if I've said or done something toxic. People who once were genuine and forthcoming, now ignore me, and yet I've not been addressed for any actions, on a professional or unprofessional level. To say I've made friends at work, it would be truthful, but its about 2-3 people out of hundreds of people I've associated with. I'd say don't bank on making friends at work, just be respectful and receptive.
What you have with coworkers is camaraderie, not friendship. This is a mutual trust and shared goals and generally trying to keep the peace. People typically leave their personal life and baggage outside of work. This begins and ends with your job. Don't confuse it with true friendship.
@@user-bb6vp7zw7i lol you do know the worlds best leaders or business owners are loners and introverts ? Ask Jeff bezos, Elon musk, and bill gates. All known introverts or weirdo’s in your book and they are worth billions. Y’all extroverts will join the rat race while the loners quietly strategize and become more successful.
Never think of coworkers as friends; and, be very careful and selective of sharing your personal life, information, etc., with coworkers. Work smart, be smarter.
Agreed. And take the ‘we’re a family’ company values etc. with a grain of salt. Its a HR thing, its not real. Keep your real friendships and family strong outside of work so you never forget who you are and that you have support beyond the workplace.
Anyone who is comfortable in solitude life have no problem following your rules such as be very careful and selective of sharing your personal life, information, etc, with coworkers. Work smart, be smarter. A person needs to be independent enough to not be attach to anyone. Only people who aren't comfortable in solitude life would make excuses of hurting themselves for attention. So anyone who goes to work needs to live for themselves.
You share information especially about your personal life, I'll say within a week just about everyone will know about it. Co-workers are NOT your friends.
In my experience, work is just work. I worked 10 years with a good company, the owner (I thought cared about me outside the workplace). He even showed up to the hospital when I was sick. I got let goed without notice. I got escorted out of the office almost immediately. My coworker watched me pack up what I could in a few minutes. No goodbyes and I was in shock. This all happened so fast. I just arrived to the office at about 8:00am. I rode my motorcycle about a mile down the road and I pulled over to a side street and cried my ass off.
Yeah, some people are just awful. That's why I'm not doing no 2 weeks notice stuff. I'm leaving when I feel like it to avoid stuff like that. People faking themselves until the end. No thanks.
Agreed. I was given advice to not give two weeks but I had put so much energy into the people and company that I thought they deserved the extra effort
@@JoshHitti and they repaid that by escorting you out of the building like you’re a thief! You should of said something spiteful and sarcastic on your way out 😂
A job is just a job. They work hard to get you to feel like you’re part of something because they know that a team with connection and morale will work harder. But ultimately we’re all just cogs to them, nothing more nothing less. I’m sorry that you had to learn this the hard way. At least you’re still young so you can use the awareness to your advantage in your career and the play the game without getting hurt. Never put your heart into someone else’s company.
That's most corporation and government job are design like that. No hard feelings. just consider it as another real life experience on your resume. lol
100% true. they are not your friends, they are your competitors pretending to be your friends to suit their own work/career agenda, if you get promoted they will be jealous and their attitude towards you will change, if you leave for pastures new they will not reach out as again they are jealous you are bettering yourself and they aren't. I have learnt this the hard way a few times over, the last time really hit home and its such a shame people are like this.
This is not true. This is wholly situational and work place environment dependent. Have worked in the same company for 17 years and have worked with many people at many different levels. We ALL routed for each other and celebrated achievements and promotions and meant it. I feel so many people go into positions with a solely self centered view these days that It’s next to impossible to find anyone who is there for anything but a paycheck. Folks I’ve known at my company for 10+ years we feel the same. Most folks who have been there 5 years or less don’t feel the same, and usually don’t last longer than 2-5 years before they move on for a different pay check.
This is so true, people change their attitude when you leave for a better position. Suddenly they dont reach out, talk with me. As if I did something to them
There was a story on Reddit of a guy who was popular at his old job for like fifteen years. They all had a blast at the company picnics and sometimes even hung out after work etc. he felt like genuine friends with many of his coworkers. Then he leaves to another company after getting a rise in pay he couldn’t turn down. He leaves on amicable terms. Well, what do you know. He hears through the grapevine vine that his former coworkers talk all the time about how he doesn’t deserve it and is going to cause the new company and fail and blah blah blah obviously jealous of his promotion. Lesson: never be friends with these people
I had a coworker who got fired after 9 years of service, honestly felt bad for him, after seeing how he was used, treated, lied too. His picture is still on their company board too, so I’m not even comfortable in the workplace anymore, cause imagine working that long for a company, just for them to toss you out like you’ve meant nothing to them all those years.
When I resigned from the hospital I had worked for for 7 years (I’m an ER physician) due to a passively aggressive bully from the new director and some nurses badmouthing about me (and remaining anonymous) behind my back, I was shocked to realize what I once naively regarded as my home (hospital) was just a concrete jungle of survival where “close work friends” are just fair-weather illusions disappearing magically when it starts to rain. Nobody wants to be involved. Actually, I was surprised to see that the few people that reached out to me were the ones that I actually used to keep distance from at work for my own perception of personality incompatibility etc. I learned that we cannot tell the book by its cover.
I finally escaped (early retired) from hospital employment. I feel like I'm going through all the stages of grief and ptsd. 35 years of absolute misery. I'm now concentrating on exercise healthy eating and emotional health. Best wishes to you.
I’ve worked at the hospital now for 14 years and I can say the hospital environment is very toxic! Especially since covid. Everyone is burnt out and turning against each other. Every unit is short staffed now because of stress leave. Maybe leaving the hospital was a blessing in disguise for you.
Sorry to hear that man, I’m actually going through the same thing except I work in pathology lab. I was very naive my first year thinking everyone was my friend and later hearing stupid rumors about me. I observed that the really friendly ones are the ones that talk behind your back. Anyways I hope you’re in a better work place and working with much better people. I’m close to completing my 4th year and actually transitioning to tech in 2023. I know it’s probably gonna be the same in my next company, but at least I’ll get a fresh start and probably just mind my own business.
That's the world we live in. Once you're no longer valuable to your team members and so-called co-worker friends, you'll get ghosted by all or nearly all of them. This is true in people's personal and professional lives. In current times, people are less likely to value you for your good character and values or anything that yields true friendship than they are to only want you around to recognize them in some way and to avoid boredom.
Companies don’t give a shit about you, I’m soooo happy to finally be working for myself. I spent 7 years in the tourism industry working for a small (toxic) family owned company… when I gave my 2 week notice everyone was pissed and gave me the silent treatment for my final 2 weeks (so I didn’t do anything, just watched UA-cam and I’m sure they had a lot of fun trying to pick up my duties after I left, lol…especially since no one knew how to do my job except for me)
At the end of the day you are just a number on the payroll, they would drop you like a stone if they needed to reduce cost. Never get emotionally involved with a company, as that makes it harder to leave. All their values are just bullshit, so learn to use these words and just replicate them back at appraisal time. It's all a game, who can bullshit the most.
Yes, the only value that any company has is profit. We should also only value personal profit from these places. If you aren’t getting what you need, drop them like they would drop you
This is so true! I never get too friendly or personal with coworkers and they make assumptions about me and why I’m quiet and don’t talk. I’m friendly but that’s it. When I leave the company I have peace that nobody has any personal info to use against me
Absolutely true. In my almost 30 years of being an adult none of my friends are people I met at work. Connections were cut as soon as I left. I quit every place that called itself a ' family': I'd rather join a cult
I had lots of friends through homeschooling my kids. After 21 years, I finally ‘aged-out.’ Aged-out means a child is 18 years old. At this point we relocated to Australia. I decided I did not want to make new friends. I was so burned out for dealing with friends. I have truly enjoyed the last 6 years.
An older book called “Swimming With The Sharks” by some CEO said that every slogan, mission statement, etc., should be taken as its opposite in meaning. This is profound, and it made me carefully assess (in my mind) what claptrap is currently being peddled by whatever organization I’m in. The bigger the organization, the more every statement is really the opposite in meaning. This works quite well.
I learned that when I left my teaching job to be a stay at home mom. My "friends" all disappeared eventhough I tried to maintain these "friendships". I was very shocked.
@@Dhehdhhd7dhdjd I did. In retrospect they were jealous because after having a baby in 2007 I decided to stay at home. Best decision as my son is now 16. My only regret is the time & energy I invested in those "friendships".
You were living for yourself during that time. Of course, your friends had no choice but to move on. You did quit teaching to be a stay home mom so your friends lost touch with you. Part of keeping your friends is not to leave them. Once you leave, your friends will have no choice but to move on. When you leave your teaching job, you leave your coworkers. There is no surprise because you reap what you sow.
I worked at Lowes for 5 years and never had any friends other than the people I talked with on a regular bases. I recently was let go and none of them bothered to text me or ask about me even for the ones I told I would miss. Such a waste of my life but at least got me through school.
Aaron, i knew the whole " we are one family " one the blokes at work left after 16 years. He'd been with the company since the age of 16. Apprentice to area manager. No leaving do, nothing. He invited 8 of colleagues to his stag do none of them showed up. I was chuffed when he asked me to be attend and it showed he valued my presence around him. The atmosphere was fun but quieter that evening the whole time i thought wow " fake work friends".
Even though I have been at my job for 15 years, 99% of the people who talk to me at work I just think to myself, "why are they talking to me?" Once a co-worker leaves, you never hear from them again even though they give you their private email. I fell for that a couple of times.
@@what3899 ya I did, but half the time they wouldn't respond or at work it would just be general stuff we talk about. Unless I directly asked about doing something they wouldn't really give me the time of day.
Damn it's pretty disheartening hearing people have these experiences. I worked at Walmart for 6 years and I've met 4 people I consider close friends (one of them is currently my boyfriend). We go on vacations together and We still make time to hang out every now and then eventho we all have different jobs now. I love those guys. Some of the best people I've ever met.
Sometimes I miss having friends, but then I remember how miserable and betrayed I felt relying on people-family, coworkers, etc...and then I immediately start feeling better again.
I didn’t learn this lesson until my late 30s!! I saw the warning signs, but at that time I was insistent on making my working colleagues my “friends”. To make a LONG story short, I was slandered so badly that I had to leave my work. The good news: The day I left around the time that I entered my 40s, my life did a complete turn around…Thank God! Those betrayals that I suffered through simply made me a much WISER and STRONGER person. I now have many friends, and none of them are co-workers! P.S. At any kind of work you do, DO NOT confide in ANYONE…Keep your private life / home completely private from work.
So true! Work "friends" aren't your friends just because you go to happy hour together and talk shit about work. Friendship is about connection, acceptance, and platonic love. I've tried to connect with work people, but is never stuck. 😔
@@JoshHitti I've realised probably my only true friend is my sister. Everyone else has come and gone or doesn't really know me but I am very fortunate to have always had a great relationship with her.
Agree with this so much. I talk shit with my coworker thru text. I feel like so much shit after telling her stuff. Sometimes I’ve gotten slightly personal…and then I have to realize she’s not my friend.
It’s so nice to see someone else confirm my thoughts and perspective. Things that I’ve always felt. Trust no one but yourself. I’ve found this out through experience. When the time comes no one’s got your back. I really despise pretentious relationships but I find no other way out when I work with others.
That's a really sad way to approach things. I have to honestly say, in my 25+ years in corporate America that I've rarely experienced that. It's all in the way YOU build relationships and trust with your co-workers and/or company.
Well with that attitude how can you expect to be proven wrong? You won’t endear yourself to anyone by letting them know they aren’t trustworthy and your perspective is the only one that counts. Unfortunately I see more and more people with viewpoints like yours in the workplace. I’m not going out of my way to make connections with people who have already decided I’m not worth making a connection with.
The majority of us (as we get older) tend to view work as just that..... work. When you're in your 20's and even 30's, you are more incline to pursue social interests/activities and even friendships with your fellow colleagues. However, as most of us settle into our 40's and beyond, we tend to put a distance between ourselves and those we work with (socially) because we come to realize that we are there to do a job, not become friends with our colleagues. And you know what, that's absolutely fine. All you need from your co-workers is for them to maintain a polite and professional attitude towards you. You don't need to be in each other's personal business. Getting too chummy with the people you work with can backfire on you in a big way. Keep it simple. Be polite, stick to the basic pleasantries and maintain a respectful and professional attitude. Steer clear of the drama lovers, gossip hounds and negative naysayers because they will suck the life out of you. And if you are in a work environment like that, then really assess if that's where you want to be.
@O B - Most of us have family and friends outside of work to fulfill the needs we have to interact with others. Whilst it's not uncommon to become friends with people you work with (been there and done it in my 20's and 30's), it's not where the majority of us find our main social outlet as we get older. I'm reminded of a comment Jerry Seinfeld once said. Most of us eventually reach a point where we don't have an interest of wanting to make new friends. Or as he put it "audition for a spot in your life!". Why? - Because a real friendship takes time to form. You establish that with people over years. Through shared interests, experiences and memories. I know as I get older (inching into my late 40's), the likelihood of being able to find that again (in a work environment) from scratch is something I'm not holding my breath on, nor is it something I have a vested interest in seeking out. Even more so if your colleagues are of different ages, and at different points in their life to you. I'm currently working in a team of people significantly younger than me whom I have little in common with. Don't get me wrong, no issues personally or professionally, but they are at stages in their lives I was at years ago (going out clubbing, in and out of relationships, dealing with parents etc). Consequently, their conversations and what they're into holds little interest to me on a personal level. But again, no issues work wise Again, if you become friends with work colleagues and you later fall out with them, things tend to get awkward very quick. I've seen it happen more than once.
It's a sad truth but yes, coworkers are not your friends, I've learned that the hard way over the years. Even when I worked in a small, seemingly tight-knit company, where I thought we were pretty close because we'd often hang out outside of work and we had a lot of nice, sometimes deep conversations, they all forgot about me the second I left and I haven't heard from any of them since. Now I just do my job and try to be cordial with everyone but I honestly don't care about being friends with anyone at work.
I have made real friends at work, including my best friend. That said, I have been let down before thinking someone was a friend. Recently, I have coworkers that have been lying or withholding information from me. Everyone is out for themselves and in competition to stand out and gain favor with superiors. It's a horrible environment.
Going to a job is almost like watching a TV show/movie. People are just acting or pretending so that they can get money, secret information, etc. Therefore, you need to play along with them and succeed on your role too.
The fact that they never cared about you but pretended is the most devastating. It's like, if you don't like me, just tell me "fu€k off and leave me alone." Please. Just do that instead of giving me a fake smile and acting like you like me at work. It'll hurt, but it hurts a he11 of a lot less than getting my hopes up.
@@bilbobaggins9451happened to me too but I am not disappointed nor mad at them why because they taught me a lessoned. I learned not to trust coworkers no matter how nice they are. I am still friendly to them but I also observe them as well and zip my lips about everything. Works for me and I'm happier. I don't need work friends.
The minute I hear that " We're family here " bulls**t, I immediately check out. I fell for that crap for too long. I even had one boss make a ultimatum: " Your weekend with your kids, or your job! " I walked out. There's more to life than work.
I think that happens a lot because so many employees get treated like shit, and then rage-quit and try to sabotage their employer. So companies often over-react to employees quitting. That's why the last time I quit after working 5.5 years for a company, i didnt even bother to give a 2 week notice. I just sent a text to my boss stating "I am resigning.... all my equipment is at my desk". i had previously left my laptops/monitors and all my work equipment at my desk beforehand. There's no way i will ever give 2 weeks (or more) notice anymore. I've seen the exact behavior you describe too many times.
The whole "security" escort out of the building is kinda stupid too. If someone really wanted to sabotage and retaliate, they could do so before announcing their resignation...
I just received an offer for a new job and the fear of giving notice is the biggest barrier to accepting it. I have to keep reminding myself that literally none of the people at my job will think about me again after I’m gone
I have learned this as well. I’m currently a SAHM now but 10 years ago, I was non-renominated after working as a classroom teacher at a particular school for 3 years. Upon my non-renomination, none of my work “friends” were around on my last day at work. They all just kind of disappeared as I unpacked my classroom decor and belongings, and prepared to go home. No one reached out to me. I remember just feeling sad and let down too. I’m sorry you had to go through that but at least it was an experience and a lesson learned. Sorry for my long essay 😅 Thank you for sharing!
Have you seen Abbot Elementary? One of the advice they gave the main lead was to have a life (friends) outside of work. That really hit me because most of my friends are my coworkers. If I leave my job, there goes my social life.
I have been in business for over 30 years and much of that time as a manager leading large teams. Here’s some unsolicited advice. Be the change you want to see even when those around you are petty/uncaring. You did the right thing in putting in an honest days work for 6 years and trying to help them through your exit. I hope you take comfort and pride in being a great human. I have had the exact same experience as you. Unfortunately I did spend some time being upset by the actions that my employer and some colleagues took. Now I look back with pride. I have helped countless employees on my team to get promoted and in some cases leave for a competitor because it was the best thing for that employee. This is how I choose to live my life. Trust me there are more of us out there. Well done, you are succeeding in being a great person and in the end, what is more important than that.
People need to start realizing you go to work to make money because you need it not because you love it. Your family is your family. Stop expecting or wanting a work family, it doesn’t exist. Enjoy your life outside of work - work for money
Yeah, it's just a job. Once you die, it won't come with you. When you leave to go home, just leave work at work, and worry about work........ only at work! Life's too short. To find friends, join a club, church group, etc. Be friends with people you don't work with. Work isn't social.
I worked at a bank 11 years ago, where management did something like that to a coworker, and I was too scared to even look at the guy and smile as they were escorting him out of the building, for fear of retaliation from management. I wish I had the courage to walk out with the guy and quit as well. Sorry that happened to you. It's narcissistic abuse. I'm glad you don't have to waste another day at that place, and I really hope you have a 10 out of 10 experience at your new job.
Escorted means get the hell out of this place we don’t need you anymore unless you know the security escorting you out and they wish you the best of luck with everything and give you a handshake 🤝.
This is not unusual. I went through the same thing recently. I left my place of work after 4 years and no one reached out to me. I was forced to leave, I didn't want to leave. It took me a long time to realize your only there to work and nothing else. Your just a number which can be replaced at a drop of a dime. Don't give anymore energy being bitter, they don't deserve it.
Yup I learned that lesson when I was 16 and started work. My parents told me dont trust your co workers don't share your personal life with them because word gets around and can use those words to hurt you. You have one goal. Get paid. Do the best of your abilities and go the hell home! Work isn't designed to make friends thats what school was for. Its called WORK for a reason I currently work as a nurse and one day I decided to go back to a hospital. I quit before I was let go because the manager told me I wasn't being engaging witb the staff.....I told the manager shes a joke and immature. I quit on the spot. People who only care to work to gossip and make friends have ZERO life or have a miserable one
Learned this lesson the hard way in my early 20s. You can be friendly with coworkers and yes, occasionally, there is a gem or two who you can pull from the workplace and trust… but we MUST have our own social circles outside of work, or else we become dependent on the workplace for more than just a salary. Plus, whether it’s warranted or not, people lose respect when they know certain things about your personal life. First-time watcher of your channel, here 🙋🏽♂️. Looking forward to more of your content. All the best at your new job!!!
This happened to me! So embarrassing and such a slap in the face when you’ve given so much of your time, care, and energy to an organization! 😢 They wouldn’t even let me say goodbye to the group of students I had been working with. That seems especially damaging to just have faculty disappear out of kids lives with no explanation and no goodbye. SMH
Wow! That’s disgusting. That was an awful thing for them to just let those kids think you didn’t care or want to say goodbye. Kids get attached to people so easily. Have you thought about reaching out to them through email or a letter? You’re right, though. Most companies don’t give 2 shits. It’s heartbreaking.
Most co-workers are two faced and certainly not a friend. They'll smile to your face, but stab you in the back just to get ahead career wise if they had to. Very very rare to have a real, long term friend from former work places. I can count on one hand the ones that I still keep in touch with/meet up for drinks years later. The rest were never friends and good riddance!
I learned this lesson a long time ago. Also having an opinion in the workplace is one of the most dangerous things you can have in a workplace, also your employer has no loyalty to you. Ps I worked in an Orwellian call center a few years ago, I can confirm all the rumours. From my experience I found colleagues were every bit as bad as customers (customers could hide behind their phone)- colleagues smiled at your face and went behind your back (and were protected by HR and senior staff). I regret these can make you cynical and bitter, but that's life. Have a good day reader
i enjoy having boundaries. my co workers have never been my friends. if they try to start over sharing, you simply explain or express it’s not appropriate and don’t find that professional. get friends who don’t work at your same business, and you can easily be friend people anywhere else online or in person. theres 8 billion of us here….lmao let’s co workers be your awesome co workers. people don’t know how to just be cordial. it’s totally ok to be.
I love this video. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I worked for a company that was toxic and I dealt with extreme micromanaging; they also wanted us to tell our customers, "welcome to our family." I had to literally go into therapy because of this job. It was disgusting and after four long years of dealing with them, I finally got another job that doesn't cause me nearly as much stress. So, I understand how poorly these employers can treat people. So sorry you went through that.
Hi Josh I’ve been following you for a while. Just wanted to thank you for being vulnerable with your videos. Not sure if your intention is to help others but you have helped me a great deal. Your videos make me reflect on my own journey of not having friends. This video hit hard. I’ve had instances where people claiming to be friends but in reality doing shady things behind my back to get ahead-not fun. What I’ve learned is that it’s ok to be friendly with people but ultimately realize that they are your coworkers and that’s it. Wishing you the best for you and your wife.
Hmm interesting, awkward. Being escorted out could be taken as a badge of honor. Speaking as someone who experienced considerable betrayal from siblings (Not my parents! who humbled themselves & became true friends) your old job exhibited the dark side of family. Management/HR can be amazingly low consciousness, unrecovered codependent control freaks. That said, the umbrella issue is dual relationships. Coworkers sometimes can become friends. I became a bodyworker, sometimes friends become clients, & vice versa. But then all friendships evolve, & sometimes end. It's not a defect, rather a reality. Friendships of all kinds can be fragile
I've been 'escorted' out of workplaces before, having to resist the the temptation to do something crazy on the way out ... Josh, if you're reading this, I wouldn't take any of this personally. When I've left or even been fired, I see it as a liberation :) I've felt relief. Look forward, spin that negative energy crap into gold and do well in the new job. Avoid looking back.
Everything is control and fear based. No common sense, freedom, responsibility, meaning, loyalty, honor, good will....no fuckin hope. Long ago I have accepted it will all only get worse, nothing I care about matters to anyone else, anything I do will not be noticed or appreciated by anyone accept for twisted reasons of jealousy. The less these bastards know about you the better. You should probably disclose a couple things. But really just making up a bunch of shit to fuck with their heads and keep them from harming you is best. If anything be the guy who is known to put in hard work, but also the guy who fucks off. If you can balance that it's a real sweet spot. Also keep others from ever thinking they will get away with treating you with disrespect. Make them believe they will be met with violence even. Even if you never would. Let them believe you wouldn't hesitate to go to prison if someone deserved dealing with. Be right up front and loud about what's ok and what's not. Joke around with the ones who always cracking dirty jokes, play it cool and calm and idgaf in front of the females. Don't even speak to them... It drives them crazy! Especially if ur good looking.
Sorry to hear about what you had to experience at this last job, but I'm glad you found something that seems to be a better fit. Not everyone will have a heart like yours, and it hurts to learn that others don't have the same amount of care that you put into something. I was suddenly and unexpectedly fired from my job in Digital Communications at the end of November of last year, and it came as a complete blindside. I was escorted out of the building, as well. I shutdown for days and couldn't think straight or make sense of things. I'll never forget how I was made to feel. When I first landed the job, I thought I had finally found my place. I threw myself into my work, streamlined many of their processes, raved about how much I enjoyed being there, and always talked so highly of my colleagues and director (all of whom I thought I had great relationships with). Every morning that I walked into the building, I was proud to be there. It's been over a month now since I was let go and I'm still stuck in some feelings. Angry. Confused. Disheartened. Uncertain. I've been taking some much needed downtime before putting myself back out there to allow space for recovery and reevaluation. This experience tinkered with my mind the same way a first heartbreak does. Although I've accepted what happened, and although I'm disappointed about losing a solid job, I think I'm most upset about how the situation was handled. To know I wasn't worth the truth is a heavy pill to swallow. My director turned very cold out of the blue and I didn't deserve it, nor was there any justification for it. And instead of giving me the decency to box my personal belongings or arranging to have them boxed on my behalf so that I could take them home with me, it took multiple follow-up requests and a little over three weeks for me to get access to my things -- and they mailed them to me. The way I was let go makes me question the reality I was living while I was there. Only two of my direct coworkers reached out (but even them reaching out felt like they were more curious rather than concerned) and another individual I worked very closely with who was part of IT on a different floor. Having those two coworkers lingering on my Instagram account became very triggering, and eventually I had to block them because I lost all trust. Coworkers are not really our friends as much as we might want them to be. More than a month later and I still feel the sting of betrayal. It's like I was on an isolated island the entire time without my knowledge. Looking back in hindsight, it makes sense why I was asked to create process and procedure documentation for parts of my role prior to the day of my exit. They were planning to dispose of me. When I was first asked to start creating the documentation, I had a strange feeling about it but gave the benefit of the doubt as the director was fairly new and I figured it was part of her management style. Just thinking about how much I used to rave about the place and the people in it makes me sick to my stomach. This experience put into perspective just how much of a number you are when you work under someone else. It also taught me to never get too comfortable regardless of where you land on the ladder of success and that everything in this lifetime has an expiration date attached to it. I'm grateful I still have side hustles to lean on. I will only come back from this stronger and hungrier, turning pain into power. And I hope this new job is going well for you and that it leads you to where you want to be.
Work friends are just friends of utility. It’s unfortunate but very true. That goes for almost any friendship in life at work, school, church. While there are exceptions, I’d say 99% of the time this is true.
Something similar happened to me earlier this year, i was let go by the business i worked for and the attitude of literally everyone there shifted when i wasn’t gonna bring in money anymore. “We’re a family” is the biggest lie i ever believed. I realized that no one i work with is gonna see you as equal once you leave. Goes to show when people reach out to you, you find the people that actually have a heart. I feel for you man but in my mind, good riddance to the people who aren’t real.
I can definitely relate to all that happened to you! Been there! The humiliation of being escorted from the building, treated like a criminal after giving my blood, sweat and tears for 5 years. Even Manager of The Year the year before. So no..they really don’t give a rip about us when it gets right down to it. Congratulations on your new job! You will be fine!
Sorry for your experience with this company and their awful policies. I remember some companies here in Australia doing something similar. The way they treat people will come back to bite them and no-one will want to work for them anymore. You have moved onward and upwards! Keep going!
Glad I seen this. I was pure pressure to give a co-worker a ride home twice & I didn’t feel comfortable doing it, but she kept begging that she really needed a ride so I gave it to her, & I tried running to my car the second time to avoid it, but another co worker was like “Don’t leave her here by herself without giving her a ride home” like thats supposed to be my fucking problem . I’m 18 about to be 19 in a month, & she’s 50 years old (And a manager) and I can’t believe she would pressure A 18 year old who recently completed high school to do such a big task like that & I felt like what I did was dangerous & not safe . I don’t work there no more & I Quit that job 4 months ago .
Sounds like the manager may have been up to something, like Mrs. Robinson in the movie "The Graduate". That manager who should have been far better prepared for transportation sounds like she may have been wanting to involve you in an inappropriate relationship.
You didn't feel safe or a big task? DRIVING SOMEONE HOME IS A BIG TASK 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 unless they have shown any signs such as inappropriate discussions or trying to touch you YOU'RE THE EPITOMY of the term snowflake! Driving someone home as long as nothing inappropriate has happened...IS NO BIG GOD DAMN DEAL 🤣🤣🤣🤣 grow up
Even in my school and university years I had this perceptions that the connections I have were rooted in the fact that we were forced to spend 5 days of the week together. So I never considered classmates my real friends until we ended the studies and the connection was kept through effort.
This just happened to me, 3 weeks ago. I was a senior director and with the company for over 3 years. It is a small staff and I *thought* we were all so close. I offered two weeks notice and to assist with any transition and the ED told me she accepts my resignation effective immediately. So I had to pack my stuff and go. Since then, my “friends” who all used to text me several times a day have pretty much cut me off. The surprising thing about the whole handling of it, and in your case too, they really screwed the organization by not allowing us to aid in transition and remaining cordial so that we would be open to being available for questions or assistance. Oh well! Onward and upward!
Family is your only true friends that will look out for you. Everyone else is beyond fake and don't give af about you. Maybe they'll give you a modicum of notice if you do something for them, but beyond that, they don't care.
If you want to know whether a co-worker is a friend, ask yourself this: Do you hang out with any of these people outside of work? The only work friendships I have that were true friendships are the ones where we started doing things outside of work. They're the only ones that lasted when one of us changed jobs. I'm in my early 40s and I have 4 friendships that started in the workplace.
The only era of my work career I made friends was when I was bright eyed and brand new to the workforce - some of best friends were from my first job. However, after some experiences after that at other jobs, I learned that you are entirely correct and it is best to keep a certain guard up with your coworkers.
I'm glad I came across this. I'm dealing with a lot at my job. I feel like I'm in High school. Been faithful for the company for 5 years and I can't push another year due to the betrayal and work overload. I realized I'm being overworked and underpaid while others stand around and talk.
True. But it'd be nice to have some people to care about you on the weekends. Instead it's just crushing loneliness all the time. Even when I'm at work, I feel alone.
That is WILD. I always thought it was weird when my old company would mention stuff like we’re a “family” and stuff like that. It’s always seemed very performative. This kind of happened to me last year. I was unexpectedly laid off this time last year for financial reasons and lack of work for me. I’ve always kept my personal life and professional life separate. (Because of situations like this) Unless unavoidable and that happened once. The only person who knew about what was going on was the President of the company and he was the nicest and most accommodating and is the ONLY person I consider a friend because he went above and beyond for me. He actually wanted to get me back but when he asked it was too late 🤷🏾♂️ Thankfully a company found me in December, gave me everything I asked for, and I am completely remote. Which is the ideal situation for me. 💁🏾♂️😊
Well after 15 years of giving many hours overtime and cancelled vacations, I was laid off (it was a personal vendetta from a horrible boss) the week before my 65th birthday. Yep they truly don't care!!!
Have to add my experience to this. I worked for 3 years at a Telecom company as their IT Administrator, and when my boss left, I essentially became the defacto IT director. I was a one-man team working 13+ hours days to get all of the technology needs of the company handled. I sacrificed so much thinking that they would see my loyalty and reward me. Wrong. I was unceremoniously fired without warning, and they treated me no less than a criminal on my way out. Immediately remote wiped my computer, and even used attorneys to get equipment from my house instead of just calling/emailing me to ask for it. I learned the hard way that the company does NOT care about you. You are a resource to them and nothing more. You're a liability to be dealt with whom they demand you pledge your loyalty while offering none in return.
Wow I’m sorry you had to endure that after everything you gave them your 100% loyal to that company. I’m glad that all you people share your experiences of bad toxic workplace environments as I learn from each and everyone one of your stories. I wasn’t aware of these circumstances till I made myself aware of these issues which I used for do’s and dont’s if things start to escalate or problems start to occur
I've had a rollercoaster career where I've forged friendships with colleagues at a number of companies, people whom I'd come to know quite personally outside of the office. Whenever I'd leave a company, I've always been shocked by how much those relationships were sustained by where we worked. I take my friendships very seriously, having grown up in the absence of friends up until my last couple of years of high school; as such, I'd routinely be struck hard by what I perceived to be a total lack of interest from work friends in keeping a connection going. But I've come to learn 1.) I do the same thing when a colleague moves on - there's something about being out of sight that does make it easy to be out of mind; and 2.) this isn't the case with every colleague - there are some who will reciprocate, although I admit it's a very small percentage. Over the past decade I've had to condition myself to expect relationships at work to live and die by employment, yet allow myself to give people the benefit of the doubt and actively reach out / show that I still consider them a friend outside of work. That last part is exponentially harder to keep doing, but had I not kept putting out some effort, I wouldn't have a few solid friends whom I met through work, and who do indeed reciprocate over the years. Sharing my two cents', and raising my hand to say I've definitely gone through a number of things you mentioned in this video. Congrats on the new job btw. :)
So very true. I have been with my company for 21 years and non of the management cares about my team anymore. They work us too death and quite frankly they don’t care. Everyone else gets off holidays, week off for holidays, etc but not us. I don’t think they would care less if any of my team walked away even though we bring in multimillions each year in contracts. It’s truly sad
I purposely do not attend any work social functions. These events open to problems and will make your work life challenging. I keep work purely professional. I am polite and entertain only small talk with colleagues, i never overshare or talk about my private life. Its the only way to keep a level of sanity.
I'm 46. I've seen a lot go down on jobs. This was a lesson for sure. This is how most places operates. This will harden you, but trust me, in the best way possible. Wishing you a better environment in your next endeavor.
I quit my job of 6 years at the end of 2020 mostly due to stress. I ended up basically just quitting on the spot. None of my coworkers reached out to me, but to be fair I didn't reach out to any of them either. I've never given 2 weeks notice when quitting a job. Wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors. You seem like a really smart guy, with a good work ethic, who's also likeable, so I'm sure you'll do well
Totally agree. Co-workers are nothing once you leave a company. And Never leave any personal belongings at any job, you never know when they will walk you out.
The personal items on my desk are things I can live without should anything happen. I love setting creepy sh*t on my desk. It unnerves those who may want to linger.
I’m just a stranger on the internet, but you have such a kind and warm energy. I’m so sorry this has been such a painful experience. I hope this new job brings people that match your energy! I know exactly how you feel!
If anyone is watching this and thinking, “you only gave it a week, people will reach out”: It’s been over 2 years and I’ve had ZERO past coworkers reach out. I messaged a couple on LinkedIn to check in, but was not responded to.
Coworkers are NOT your friends, they’re your 9-5 team members.
And then when they need something (when they find out you work at their desired company), then out of the blue they reach out to you. I just ignore them. You are right. Coworkers are not your friends.
Hey man sorry you feel that way but I feel that work is work and we shouldn’t look for friends at work until you get to know them but as for as my opinion you can have work friends. It would have to be mutual understanding of boundaries between work and outside of work
I wonder if the former co-workers you that have not been in touch with you were ordered to have no contact with you.
@@andrewbrendan1579 That’s a good question dude. If they were ordered to stop talking to me it’s their lost. I am to this day still friends with coworkers from jobs 10 plus yrs ago
That truly sucks. However, considering your former boss was a bit of a douche, could it be possible he restricted your former coworkers from staying in touch with you?
It’s rare to find a real friend at work. It’s situational friendship, once the situation is over so is the friendship
Yep. Once they leave, that's it no matter how close you thought you were..
Not always. I have a few friends from jobs I had years ago. They are rare but can be found.
Yeah but it’s that the same for all friendships? You make friends in school. Move to a different town and you don’t see or hear from most of them ever again.
Many ppl find their spouses/partners at work. Where else is anyone going to see you on an everyday level. Even though it's a controlled environment it can work. As you can see what ppl's character is like. Same with friends.
It's difficult to make lifelong friends after high school. For most people their closest friends are from high school.
Josh - I have worked in Technology for 28 years now and I can tell you from my experience that nobody cares. I, like you, have worked my butt off, but at the end of the day they don't care about you. I have finally gotten it just these past few years. Work just provides a lifestyle...that's it. It's not worth it to miss family functions, etc for work. When you're gone, they'll forget about you. They won't sit around thinking "Wow, Josh really worked hard". That just won't happen. This is the beginning of you understanding that. Every company will be the same moving forward - remember that.
I had one boss who continued to reach out and go to dinner with me for a couple years after I quit. She also invited me to her family thanksgiving one year which I graciously accepted. We did eventually stop communicating but I do think you can make some genuine connections at work. Sometimes.
same reason we paid everything off refi ed our house and i quit the rat race...American coporations dont give a dam about you, you are a commodity and if you are not making money for them you are out of there...screw them!
Exactly. It's great to enjoy your job but never ever think you're work defines you. They'll cut you loose and forget you no matter how great you were. Never live for the weekends partying. Try to see each day as a magical day where something great can happen.
That's not true. I had to get a reference for another job recently and the recruiter reached out to my first employer. She told me that they said that they still talk about me there and how good of a worker I was. And it's been 6 years since I worked there. I reached out to them to thank them for the reference and my previous boss told me my name constantly comes up at the Christmas parties and work events. Everyone really loved me there. There are rare moments in life where you can make a lasting impression on people.
@@signalfire15 Yes, there will be times you make a lasting impression on people, but once those people are gone from the company there will be no more talk of what a hard worker you were. In your particular instance the individual was asked for input about your performance and your former coworker clearly wanted to provide a positive response because sometimes people do have relationships at work, but Companies have resources. Anyone you don’t have a personal relationship with will always see you as a resource because that is what the company wants. They want to be able to use you for what they need and dispose of you when they want and compensate you at the lowest cost possible. I worked for a company for 34 years and was laid off. My company escorts people out on their last day. It’s pretty standard.
When I got my first job, my mother told me, "Go to work, do your job, go home." So simple yet so difficult for many.
Especially if your manager wants to fuck but you just want to make money...
That’s what I do. It is work and that’s what we are there for. I would rather be known for doing a great job at work rather than being ‘popular’ with colleagues.
It's no simple. You can not always make excuses for after work parties/meetings.... One has to be mature, psychological training... Set boundaries.
Facts
My mother told me the same thing, what she didn't tell me was how unacceptable that behavior is to my coworkers and how they will undermine your efforts, smear campaign you, and create a toxic environment for you, they begin to view you as the enemy, it's the.... if you're not one of us, you must be one of them, mindsets
"Be friendly, not friends" is my motto!
I agree but what if they start to hold that against you?!
so then where else are u gonna make friends?
@@iiCounted-op5jx….the world has become incredibly Non-Social, so it is incredibly limited.
I’m from Gen X & communication was a thing then, not so much anymore.
I wish you well, buddy..
@@iiCounted-op5jx nothing is written in stone. There are always exceptions to every rule.
It's possible you could make a lifelong friend at work, but tread carefully. The workplace is an environment fraught with pitfalls and landmines. Sometimes, people aren't what they appear to be.
Sadly, employers often foster a culture that pits employees against one another. The best advice I can give is, keep your business to yourself, no matter how friendly your coworkers may seem to be.
Thank you. This is the best advice for me. I bought lunches for two of my co-workers. Both of them never thanked me for the free meals. Instead they gossiped about me to other co-workers. I thought they were my friends. I was wrong.
Its sad that people are fake at work. I dont think you should be friends with every person or that that should be a goal. But life is about connections and we spend a majority of our time at work. Why people can’t just be genuine anymore and are fake, competing, gossiping, just not caring at all about anything, is just sad to me. It shows the state of the world. We shouldn’t have to worry about if people are going to go behind our backs and being mean like that 😕
😢
I came here to say the same thing. It makes me really sad as well because of the amount of time we spend at work (just like you said).
It’s because if you act in an authentic way, with a sense of humor, or honesty about situations then HR will be on your ass. Corporations don’t want people forming genuine connections otherwise people will start to share their greivences and unite
If a company says, "we are like family," run in the opposite direction! It's a head-game to gain your trust and trick you into believing the relationship is something that it is not. When it comes to working for someone else, your only loyalty should be to yourself. People at work are not your friends.
Every company that I have worked for that has used that phrase in the hiring process, has been like family. An extremely toxic and dysfunctional one.
@@cathybutcher4826 exactly. Excellent point.
@@cathybutcher4826
😂😂😂😂😂
I agreed.
That is also how cults operate. Definitely a warning sign.
@@nicholascarroll1225 yep! Cults pray on people who are lost and searching for connection. No friends? We'll be your friend. No family? We'll be your family.
💯 coworkers are NOT your friends. Watch what happens two weeks after quitting. You'll never hear from them again.
Pretty much
Omg so true
Yep.....I've had countless jobs in my 25 years of working and have made no friends from them.
That is so true
you can also apply that logic to school, why doesn't anyone say "classmates are NOT your friends" 🤦♂🤦♂
The workplace in general consists of:
1. Games
2. Manipulation
3. Con artists
4. A$$ kissing
5. Bullying
In short, Narcissism.
So true
100% true
💯
@@ExoticalT369😂😂😂😂
They try so hard at my company to force relationships outside of work!
I have already learned a long time ago to just mind my own business, perform my job well period. I don't want or feel the need to share anything about my life outside of work (which is wonderful and I intend for it to remain that way). Its not good to mix the 2 worlds.
At the job that I recently resigned from, my supervisor organized a Christmas gathering for our team to attend a function after work. I made up an excuse that I couldn't attend due to other priorities. I didn't want to because there was a lot of hidden animosity and backbiting among team members. I wanted to only interact with my coworkers on the job and not outside working hours. My supervisor wasn't pleased with it and made a big deal that I wasn't engaging enough with my coworkers, stating that we are family and need to be connected for support. This is when I realized that I was being pressured to go along with her agenda. It's ridiculous. Not only do you have to put up with their nonsense on the job, but you are coerced into socializing with them on your off time whether you want to or not.
Yes I was offered a job in Hong Kong many years ago and I knocked it back for this reason. Sure, you got to have housekeepers to smooth the way but at what price is your loss of privacy and sense of self? The hours were excessive and there was a strong drinking culture and the competition to display wealth was wearing. Also I don't speak Cantonese, or Mandarin and felt it would lead to issues. This proved to be a wise decision. People think it's all about money but it's your life to value or waste.
I couldn’t give a rats if my co-workers liked me or not.. I go to work, I do my job, I go home, I make money. I’m not there to make friends!
Same here
I gotta say I think that the workplace must be a nicer environment to be in if everyone doesn't hate your guts though...
so then where the heck else are you supposed to make friends?
Think they are all fake friends now.
@@nursejoed lol I didn’t say be an asshole to your co-workers.. what I mean is I wouldn’t be buddies with them and hang out outside of work!
People who I thought were my friends at work were actually going behind my back and telling My supervisor bad things about me. Stay away from those who seem nosy about your life. They're just looking for gossip material to tell someone else and can be used against you.
that's the entire workforce in each hospital in Ca. areas. You have to figure out what you were willing to share and that way if the info is used against you, it doesn't hurt. But you have to give them some info, otherwise they feel like you don't like them and they gang up against you.Where as other states i've worked in, it's not required for you to reveal info about yourself and it's not seen as negative.
This. 100%
Cause they are bored
I've had people I didn't even talk to do that to me because (I found out later) they were afraid I'd take their job at some point. Apparently, I was better at doing their old job than they were. I was 'let go' because, and I am not kidding, I was seen rolling my eyes. **insert eye roll here**
This is so common. It's especially common if you're bright, hardworking, and really competent.
If you exceed goals too much, to do too well, even your own boss will consider you a threat.
Never mistake ANYONE in HR as your friend, and never assume they are there to help you, even if you are being truly harassed. If anything, they'll take notes to create a fake file of "documentation" of complaints and errors. They will do anything to keep from having to pay you for unemployment or workmen's comp injuries, even when it's GLARINGLY their fault.
I was so naive about all this when I was younger. Now I try to help others who don't know these things.
I also agree that this "work is family" is way overplayed. It's a leading line to trying to manipulate you.
It's brainwashing.
agree 100%
It's narcissism. ☹
@@mike90317 Read Edward Bernays Propaganda, its exactly what it is.
I love making good friends at work, but it's very rare. I have started viewing work as a means to an end. I cannot wrap up my emotions in my work like I used to (If I can help it). I am still human after all. But some people have taken my attitude towards work as me not caring. But it's really me putting my job in it's proper place. If I wanted to maintain my personal happiness I had to disconnect emotionally from the job.
you find out who your real friends are when you go through hard times -
When you resign you find out who your "real" work friends are lol
So true!
Never got how hard times define relationships. Truth is most hard times people invite into their own lives then look for their friends to save them. Nah, you did the hole, now dig your way out. Self accountability is the key. I don't ask you to suffer with me and I won't choose to suffer with you.
@@thegodblogger3812 That's true. But, it's still nice to have some support from friends, right ?
@@SpringNotes It's nice, yeah. But I refuse to be disappointed when they don't come through. A friend indeed is a friend NOT IN NEED. 😒
Be cordial, be friendly but always maintain professionalism. In my mom's 40 years of working, she made just a handful of friends and only one of them helped her out when she fell on hard times. Real friendships at work are incredibly rare.
Coming upon 6 years at my current job, and out of nowhere people are people are treating me as if I've said or done something toxic. People who once were genuine and forthcoming, now ignore me, and yet I've not been addressed for any actions, on a professional or unprofessional level. To say I've made friends at work, it would be truthful, but its about 2-3 people out of hundreds of people I've associated with. I'd say don't bank on making friends at work, just be respectful and receptive.
What you have with coworkers is camaraderie, not friendship. This is a mutual trust and shared goals and generally trying to keep the peace. People typically leave their personal life and baggage outside of work.
This begins and ends with your job. Don't confuse it with true friendship.
Wise. To know the distinction.
Great distinction
definitely how i view things
definitely how i view things
Nah I'm good. I aint keeping nothing fake.
I am the loner of my current work environment. Its been serving me well.
I aspire to be this 😍😍😍
I did this at my previous job and they tried to tell me I lack team work skills lol
@@user-bb6vp7zw7i lol you do know the worlds best leaders or business owners are loners and introverts ? Ask Jeff bezos, Elon musk, and bill gates. All known introverts or weirdo’s in your book and they are worth billions. Y’all extroverts will join the rat race while the loners quietly strategize and become more successful.
As long as you do your job they have to accept it
it's a blessed space to be in, and a launchpad to a substantially better situation... trust!
Never think of coworkers as friends; and, be very careful and selective of sharing your personal life, information, etc., with coworkers. Work smart, be smarter.
Agreed. And take the ‘we’re a family’ company values etc. with a grain of salt. Its a HR thing, its not real. Keep your real friendships and family strong outside of work so you never forget who you are and that you have support beyond the workplace.
Anyone who is comfortable in solitude life have no problem following your rules such as be very careful and selective of sharing your personal life, information, etc, with coworkers. Work smart, be smarter. A person needs to be independent enough to not be attach to anyone. Only people who aren't comfortable in solitude life would make excuses of hurting themselves for attention. So anyone who goes to work needs to live for themselves.
You share information especially about your personal life, I'll say within a week just about everyone will know about it. Co-workers are NOT your friends.
Smart advice!
In my experience, work is just work. I worked 10 years with a good company, the owner (I thought cared about me outside the workplace). He even showed up to the hospital when I was sick. I got let goed without notice. I got escorted out of the office almost immediately. My coworker watched me pack up what I could in a few minutes. No goodbyes and I was in shock. This all happened so fast. I just arrived to the office at about 8:00am. I rode my motorcycle about a mile down the road and I pulled over to a side street and cried my ass off.
That is awful!
😂😂😂 Sorry
Yeah, some people are just awful. That's why I'm not doing no 2 weeks notice stuff. I'm leaving when I feel like it to avoid stuff like that. People faking themselves until the end. No thanks.
This is why l like seasonal work. You aren’t in a job long enough to give a damn.
The same is true for me. I always like doing seasonal/ temporary work. I worked for a temporary service for many years.
And employers wonder why people don't give their notice anymore...
Agreed. I was given advice to not give two weeks but I had put so much energy into the people and company that I thought they deserved the extra effort
@@JoshHitti and they repaid that by escorting you out of the building like you’re a thief! You should of said something spiteful and sarcastic on your way out 😂
@@JoshHitti I dont give notice to no employer anymore. The only time I would do that is when im retiring.
@Josh Hitti You have shown here you have true strength of character, hold your head up high and good luck in your new job.
@@mariekano9730 but I thought if you don’t give notice you don’t get references?
A job is just a job. They work hard to get you to feel like you’re part of something because they know that a team with connection and morale will work harder. But ultimately we’re all just cogs to them, nothing more nothing less. I’m sorry that you had to learn this the hard way. At least you’re still young so you can use the awareness to your advantage in your career and the play the game without getting hurt. Never put your heart into someone else’s company.
Exactly. It’s all transactional! I’ve learned over the years. Don’t be down.
I grab one friend that stays for years longer from each one of my jobs. Idk… that’s just been my experience.
That's most corporation and government job are design like that. No hard feelings. just consider it as another real life experience on your resume. lol
Live with your team!enjoy
Cost of goods! Most definitely!
100% true. they are not your friends, they are your competitors pretending to be your friends to suit their own work/career agenda, if you get promoted they will be jealous and their attitude towards you will change, if you leave for pastures new they will not reach out as again they are jealous you are bettering yourself and they aren't. I have learnt this the hard way a few times over, the last time really hit home and its such a shame people are like this.
100 percent agree
This is not true. This is wholly situational and work place environment dependent. Have worked in the same company for 17 years and have worked with many people at many different levels. We ALL routed for each other and celebrated achievements and promotions and meant it. I feel so many people go into positions with a solely self centered view these days that It’s next to impossible to find anyone who is there for anything but a paycheck. Folks I’ve known at my company for 10+ years we feel the same. Most folks who have been there 5 years or less don’t feel the same, and usually don’t last longer than 2-5 years before they move on for a different pay check.
@@sha2596 Both can be true.
This is so true, people change their attitude when you leave for a better position. Suddenly they dont reach out, talk with me. As if I did something to them
There was a story on Reddit of a guy who was popular at his old job for like fifteen years. They all had a blast at the company picnics and sometimes even hung out after work etc. he felt like genuine friends with many of his coworkers. Then he leaves to another company after getting a rise in pay he couldn’t turn down. He leaves on amicable terms. Well, what do you know. He hears through the grapevine vine that his former coworkers talk all the time about how he doesn’t deserve it and is going to cause the new company and fail and blah blah blah obviously jealous of his promotion. Lesson: never be friends with these people
I had a coworker who got fired after 9 years of service, honestly felt bad for him, after seeing how he was used, treated, lied too. His picture is still on their company board too, so I’m not even comfortable in the workplace anymore, cause imagine working that long for a company, just for them to toss you out like you’ve meant nothing to them all those years.
a person told me something years ago that I never forget and I saw it in many places, he told me "always keep in mind that companies have no heart"
100% true unfortunately.
I’ve worked for many people that have said things like “don’t take it personal; it’s [just] business.” After being disrespectful and abusive.
This has happened to me and it makes me sick to my stomach. The corporate world is often disgusting…
When I resigned from the hospital I had worked for for 7 years (I’m an ER physician) due to a passively aggressive bully from the new director and some nurses badmouthing about me (and remaining anonymous) behind my back, I was shocked to realize what I once naively regarded as my home (hospital) was just a concrete jungle of survival where “close work friends” are just fair-weather illusions disappearing magically when it starts to rain. Nobody wants to be involved. Actually, I was surprised to see that the few people that reached out to me were the ones that I actually used to keep distance from at work for my own perception of personality incompatibility etc. I learned that we cannot tell the book by its cover.
I finally escaped (early retired) from hospital employment. I feel like I'm going through all the stages of grief and ptsd. 35 years of absolute misery. I'm now concentrating on exercise healthy eating and emotional health.
Best wishes to you.
I’ve worked at the hospital now for 14 years and I can say the hospital environment is very toxic! Especially since covid. Everyone is burnt out and turning against each other. Every unit is short staffed now because of stress leave. Maybe leaving the hospital was a blessing in disguise for you.
Sounds like it was your fault.
Sorry to hear that man, I’m actually going through the same thing except I work in pathology lab. I was very naive my first year thinking everyone was my friend and later hearing stupid rumors about me. I observed that the really friendly ones are the ones that talk behind your back. Anyways I hope you’re in a better work place and working with much better people. I’m close to completing my 4th year and actually transitioning to tech in 2023. I know it’s probably gonna be the same in my next company, but at least I’ll get a fresh start and probably just mind my own business.
stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family
That's the world we live in. Once you're no longer valuable to your team members and so-called co-worker friends, you'll get ghosted by all or nearly all of them. This is true in people's personal and professional lives. In current times, people are less likely to value you for your good character and values or anything that yields true friendship than they are to only want you around to recognize them in some way and to avoid boredom.
When I kept my distance at work team members kept ask questions about my personal life and they automatically thought I was a cold person lol 😆
Companies don’t give a shit about you, I’m soooo happy to finally be working for myself. I spent 7 years in the tourism industry working for a small (toxic) family owned company… when I gave my 2 week notice everyone was pissed and gave me the silent treatment for my final 2 weeks (so I didn’t do anything, just watched UA-cam and I’m sure they had a lot of fun trying to pick up my duties after I left, lol…especially since no one knew how to do my job except for me)
@@yayoudo1 I make adult content, hah
Yeah. I worked for a family business (which ended up closing, thank God) and it was the worst place ever! Will never again do that!
@@Just-Jaci😂😂😂oh wow. @adult content. Daaaamn.
Also, family owned businesses are the devil
😝😆😂😂
@@Just-JaciI bet you make bank on that huh! I’m considering into looking into this type of work lol
At the end of the day you are just a number on the payroll, they would drop you like a stone if they needed to reduce cost. Never get emotionally involved with a company, as that makes it harder to leave. All their values are just bullshit, so learn to use these words and just replicate them back at appraisal time. It's all a game, who can bullshit the most.
Absolutely spot on.
Yep. This even applies to a family business. Wish I didn’t sacrifice as much as I did for it but I’ve learned my lesson.
stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family
Well said James!!!
Yes, the only value that any company has is profit. We should also only value personal profit from these places. If you aren’t getting what you need, drop them like they would drop you
This is so true! I never get too friendly or personal with coworkers and they make assumptions about me and why I’m quiet and don’t talk. I’m friendly but that’s it. When I leave the company I have peace that nobody has any personal info to use against me
Absolutely true. In my almost 30 years of being an adult none of my friends are people I met at work. Connections were cut as soon as I left. I quit every place that called itself a ' family': I'd rather join a cult
When you leave they forget you
I had lots of friends through homeschooling my kids. After 21 years, I finally ‘aged-out.’
Aged-out means a child is 18 years old. At this point we relocated to Australia. I decided I did not want to make new friends. I was so burned out for dealing with friends. I have truly enjoyed the last 6 years.
An older book called “Swimming With The Sharks” by some CEO said that every slogan, mission statement, etc., should be taken as its opposite in meaning. This is profound, and it made me carefully assess (in my mind) what claptrap is currently being peddled by whatever organization I’m in. The bigger the organization, the more every statement is really the opposite in meaning. This works quite well.
One of them is “we value work life balance”….this is one of the biggest lies!!!
That book was published in 1988 by Harvey B Mackay.A wonderful read and i’ve owned it for years and still read it.A classic!.
@@leedaniels7196 Thank you for that information! I should get another copy. It’s such a great book!
@@claudiacanales2662 OMG! That is perfect. You know your nights and weekends are theirs when you hear that!
@@starrycrown You are quite welcome!.Bought it six years ago and i still read it and keep it on my desk.A phenomenal book!.
I learned that when I left my teaching job to be a stay at home mom. My "friends" all disappeared eventhough I tried to maintain these "friendships". I was very shocked.
😂😂😂
@@Dhehdhhd7dhdjd I did. In retrospect they were jealous because after having a baby in 2007 I decided to stay at home. Best decision as my son is now 16. My only regret is the time & energy I invested in those "friendships".
It really sucks when you realize a relationship is only continuing to exist because you are putting in the effort and never the other person
You were living for yourself during that time. Of course, your friends had no choice but to move on. You did quit teaching to be a stay home mom so your friends lost touch with you. Part of keeping your friends is not to leave them. Once you leave, your friends will have no choice but to move on. When you leave your teaching job, you leave your coworkers. There is no surprise because you reap what you sow.
@@hp2546 terrible take. Must be trolling
I worked at Lowes for 5 years and never had any friends other than the people I talked with on a regular bases. I recently was let go and none of them bothered to text me or ask about me even for the ones I told I would miss. Such a waste of my life but at least got me through school.
Aaron, i knew the whole " we are one family " one the blokes at work left after 16 years. He'd been with the company since the age of 16. Apprentice to area manager. No leaving do, nothing. He invited 8 of colleagues to his stag do none of them showed up. I was chuffed when he asked me to be attend and it showed he valued my presence around him. The atmosphere was fun but quieter that evening the whole time i thought wow " fake work friends".
Even though I have been at my job for 15 years, 99% of the people who talk to me at work I just think to myself, "why are they talking to me?" Once a co-worker leaves, you never hear from them again even though they give you their private email. I fell for that a couple of times.
Did you reach out to them though?
@@what3899 ya I did, but half the time they wouldn't respond or at work it would just be general stuff we talk about. Unless I directly asked about doing something they wouldn't really give me the time of day.
Damn it's pretty disheartening hearing people have these experiences. I worked at Walmart for 6 years and I've met 4 people I consider close friends (one of them is currently my boyfriend). We go on vacations together and We still make time to hang out every now and then eventho we all have different jobs now. I love those guys. Some of the best people I've ever met.
Sometimes I miss having friends, but then I remember how miserable and betrayed I felt relying on people-family, coworkers, etc...and then I immediately start feeling better again.
I didn’t learn this lesson until my late 30s!! I saw the warning signs, but at that time I was insistent on making my working colleagues my “friends”. To make a LONG story short, I was slandered so badly that I had to leave my work. The good news: The day I left around the time that I entered my 40s, my life did a complete turn around…Thank God! Those betrayals that I suffered through simply made me a much WISER and STRONGER person. I now have many friends, and none of them are co-workers! P.S. At any kind of work you do, DO NOT confide in ANYONE…Keep your private life / home completely private from work.
So true! Work "friends" aren't your friends just because you go to happy hour together and talk shit about work. Friendship is about connection, acceptance, and platonic love. I've tried to connect with work people, but is never stuck. 😔
Great points, especially on what friendship actually means. Cheers
Same here. Extremely difficult making true lasting friendships at work. I've seen it happen with other people, but not in my case.
@@JoshHitti I've realised probably my only true friend is my sister. Everyone else has come and gone or doesn't really know me but I am very fortunate to have always had a great relationship with her.
Agree with this so much. I talk shit with my coworker thru text. I feel like so much shit after telling her stuff. Sometimes I’ve gotten slightly personal…and then I have to realize she’s not my friend.
stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family
It’s so nice to see someone else confirm my thoughts and perspective. Things that I’ve always felt. Trust no one but yourself. I’ve found this out through experience. When the time comes no one’s got your back. I really despise pretentious relationships but I find no other way out when I work with others.
That's a really sad way to approach things. I have to honestly say, in my 25+ years in corporate America that I've rarely experienced that. It's all in the way YOU build relationships and trust with your co-workers and/or company.
stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family
Well with that attitude how can you expect to be proven wrong? You won’t endear yourself to anyone by letting them know they aren’t trustworthy and your perspective is the only one that counts. Unfortunately I see more and more people with viewpoints like yours in the workplace. I’m not going out of my way to make connections with people who have already decided I’m not worth making a connection with.
@@sha2596 facts
The majority of us (as we get older) tend to view work as just that..... work. When you're in your 20's and even 30's, you are more incline to pursue social interests/activities and even friendships with your fellow colleagues.
However, as most of us settle into our 40's and beyond, we tend to put a distance between ourselves and those we work with (socially) because we come to realize that we are there to do a job, not become friends with our colleagues. And you know what, that's absolutely fine.
All you need from your co-workers is for them to maintain a polite and professional attitude towards you. You don't need to be in each other's personal business.
Getting too chummy with the people you work with can backfire on you in a big way. Keep it simple. Be polite, stick to the basic pleasantries and maintain a respectful and professional attitude.
Steer clear of the drama lovers, gossip hounds and negative naysayers because they will suck the life out of you. And if you are in a work environment like that, then really assess if that's where you want to be.
Truth.
@O B - Most of us have family and friends outside of work to fulfill the needs we have to interact with others.
Whilst it's not uncommon to become friends with people you work with (been there and done it in my 20's and 30's), it's not where the majority of us find our main social outlet as we get older.
I'm reminded of a comment Jerry Seinfeld once said. Most of us eventually reach a point where we don't have an interest of wanting to make new friends. Or as he put it "audition for a spot in your life!". Why? - Because a real friendship takes time to form. You establish that with people over years.
Through shared interests, experiences and memories. I know as I get older (inching into my late 40's), the likelihood of being able to find that again (in a work environment) from scratch is something I'm not holding my breath on, nor is it something I have a vested interest in seeking out. Even more so if your colleagues are of different ages, and at different points in their life to you.
I'm currently working in a team of people significantly younger than me whom I have little in common with. Don't get me wrong, no issues personally or professionally, but they are at stages in their lives I was at years ago (going out clubbing, in and out of relationships, dealing with parents etc). Consequently, their conversations and what they're into holds little interest to me on a personal level. But again, no issues work wise
Again, if you become friends with work colleagues and you later fall out with them, things tend to get awkward very quick. I've seen it happen more than once.
stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family
Woohooboy you are 150% spot on!!!
@O B you find hobbies outside of work. For me I have hobbies that allow me to meet people.
This kind of rough experience hurts, but it toughens us up. It also teaches us how to be a better manager/colleague and not do the same.
It's a sad truth but yes, coworkers are not your friends, I've learned that the hard way over the years. Even when I worked in a small, seemingly tight-knit company, where I thought we were pretty close because we'd often hang out outside of work and we had a lot of nice, sometimes deep conversations, they all forgot about me the second I left and I haven't heard from any of them since. Now I just do my job and try to be cordial with everyone but I honestly don't care about being friends with anyone at work.
Same as school project mates. After project, go our own way
😂😂😂
I have made real friends at work, including my best friend. That said, I have been let down before thinking someone was a friend. Recently, I have coworkers that have been lying or withholding information from me. Everyone is out for themselves and in competition to stand out and gain favor with superiors. It's a horrible environment.
I went through the same thing in 2019 May God bless you on your new journey
Going to a job is almost like watching a TV show/movie. People are just acting or pretending so that they can get money, secret information, etc. Therefore, you need to play along with them and succeed on your role too.
F that stupid bs
Even if you switch departments or teams, it’s amazing how quick people can turn on you
The fact that they never cared about you but pretended is the most devastating. It's like, if you don't like me, just tell me "fu€k off and leave me alone." Please. Just do that instead of giving me a fake smile and acting like you like me at work. It'll hurt, but it hurts a he11 of a lot less than getting my hopes up.
@@bilbobaggins9451happened to me too but I am not disappointed nor mad at them why because they taught me a lessoned. I learned not to trust coworkers no matter how nice they are. I am still friendly to them but I also observe them as well and zip my lips about everything. Works for me and I'm happier. I don't need work friends.
The minute I hear that " We're family here " bulls**t, I immediately check out. I fell for that crap for too long. I even had one boss make a ultimatum: " Your weekend with your kids, or your job! " I walked out. There's more to life than work.
I think that happens a lot because so many employees get treated like shit, and then rage-quit and try to sabotage their employer. So companies often over-react to employees quitting. That's why the last time I quit after working 5.5 years for a company, i didnt even bother to give a 2 week notice. I just sent a text to my boss stating "I am resigning.... all my equipment is at my desk". i had previously left my laptops/monitors and all my work equipment at my desk beforehand. There's no way i will ever give 2 weeks (or more) notice anymore. I've seen the exact behavior you describe too many times.
Nice. I like that you texted the boss and that was it. Massive power move!
Eff them all seriously
Wish l could do that lol
Unless I've been treated well, I've quit jobs without 2 weeks notice. Employees can get fired any time unexpectedly, so why can't we quit immediately?
The whole "security" escort out of the building is kinda stupid too. If someone really wanted to sabotage and retaliate, they could do so before announcing their resignation...
In most of work places only back stabbers and narcissts can survive..people with empathy,honesty can not survive
That's why I live very frugal now, and want to quit in 5 years to stay away from work place people and their power games.
I just received an offer for a new job and the fear of giving notice is the biggest barrier to accepting it. I have to keep reminding myself that literally none of the people at my job will think about me again after I’m gone
So much toxicity in companies. So disgusting.
I learnt that lesson from the Godfather; never mix Family with business
There’s actually a lot of life lessons one can learn from watching The Godfather films.
All roads lead to Rome.
Also stay away from oranges
corny as hell. the family in that movie is a LITERAL family
Godfather has so many gems to adhere in business lol
I have learned this as well. I’m currently a SAHM now but 10 years ago, I was non-renominated after working as a classroom teacher at a particular school for 3 years. Upon my non-renomination, none of my work “friends” were around on my last day at work. They all just kind of disappeared as I unpacked my classroom decor and belongings, and prepared to go home. No one reached out to me. I remember just feeling sad and let down too. I’m sorry you had to go through that but at least it was an experience and a lesson learned. Sorry for my long essay 😅 Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing! I’m sure it was jarring to not have anyone reach out, it’s wild to me
@@JoshHitti It was. Best wishes to you at your new company 🎉
@Miss Sunrise I agree. I feel people use the word “friend” very loosely here in the states.
Exact same thing happened to me after 13 years at the same job, when I left everyone just ghosted me. It hurt.
Have you seen Abbot Elementary? One of the advice they gave the main lead was to have a life (friends) outside of work. That really hit me because most of my friends are my coworkers. If I leave my job, there goes my social life.
I have been in business for over 30 years and much of that time as a manager leading large teams. Here’s some unsolicited advice. Be the change you want to see even when those around you are petty/uncaring. You did the right thing in putting in an honest days work for 6 years and trying to help them through your exit. I hope you take comfort and pride in being a great human. I have had the exact same experience as you. Unfortunately I did spend some time being upset by the actions that my employer and some colleagues took. Now I look back with pride. I have helped countless employees on my team to get promoted and in some cases leave for a competitor because it was the best thing for that employee. This is how I choose to live my life. Trust me there are more of us out there. Well done, you are succeeding in being a great person and in the end, what is more important than that.
People need to start realizing you go to work to make money because you need it not because you love it. Your family is your family. Stop expecting or wanting a work family, it doesn’t exist.
Enjoy your life outside of work - work for money
Yeah, it's just a job. Once you die, it won't come with you. When you leave to go home, just leave work at work, and worry about work........ only at work! Life's too short.
To find friends, join a club, church group, etc. Be friends with people you don't work with.
Work isn't social.
I worked at a bank 11 years ago, where management did something like that to a coworker, and I was too scared to even look at the guy and smile as they were escorting him out of the building, for fear of retaliation from management. I wish I had the courage to walk out with the guy and quit as well. Sorry that happened to you. It's narcissistic abuse. I'm glad you don't have to waste another day at that place, and I really hope you have a 10 out of 10 experience at your new job.
hey babe how r u , u have gold heart,
Escorted means get the hell out of this place we don’t need you anymore unless you know the security escorting you out and they wish you the best of luck with everything and give you a handshake 🤝.
This is not unusual. I went through the same thing recently. I left my place of work after 4 years and no one reached out to me. I was forced to leave, I didn't want to leave. It took me a long time to realize your only there to work and nothing else. Your just a number which can be replaced at a drop of a dime. Don't give anymore energy being bitter, they don't deserve it.
Yup I learned that lesson when I was 16 and started work. My parents told me dont trust your co workers don't share your personal life with them because word gets around and can use those words to hurt you. You have one goal. Get paid. Do the best of your abilities and go the hell home! Work isn't designed to make friends thats what school was for. Its called WORK for a reason
I currently work as a nurse and one day I decided to go back to a hospital. I quit before I was let go because the manager told me I wasn't being engaging witb the staff.....I told the manager shes a joke and immature. I quit on the spot. People who only care to work to gossip and make friends have ZERO life or have a miserable one
Learned this lesson the hard way in my early 20s. You can be friendly with coworkers and yes, occasionally, there is a gem or two who you can pull from the workplace and trust… but we MUST have our own social circles outside of work, or else we become dependent on the workplace for more than just a salary. Plus, whether it’s warranted or not, people lose respect when they know certain things about your personal life. First-time watcher of your channel, here 🙋🏽♂️. Looking forward to more of your content. All the best at your new job!!!
Co workers are not your friends. They will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. 😢
This happened to me! So embarrassing and such a slap in the face when you’ve given so much of your time, care, and energy to an organization! 😢
They wouldn’t even let me say goodbye to the group of students I had been working with. That seems especially damaging to just have faculty disappear out of kids lives with no explanation and no goodbye. SMH
Yeah and then that affects them because they probably think you didnt care enough to say goodbye
@@meesamagill1193 right!
stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family
Wow! That’s disgusting. That was an awful thing for them to just let those kids think you didn’t care or want to say goodbye. Kids get attached to people so easily. Have you thought about reaching out to them through email or a letter?
You’re right, though. Most companies don’t give 2 shits. It’s heartbreaking.
Most co-workers are two faced and certainly not a friend. They'll smile to your face, but stab you in the back just to get ahead career wise if they had to. Very very rare to have a real, long term friend from former work places. I can count on one hand the ones that I still keep in touch with/meet up for drinks years later. The rest were never friends and good riddance!
Most work places are toxic greed, not for the greater good.. THATS WHY NO ONE IS YOUR FRIEND. YOU MUST BE IN YOUR PURPOSE WHICH MOST PEOPLE ARENT.
I learned this lesson a long time ago. Also having an opinion in the workplace is one of the most dangerous things you can have in a workplace, also your employer has no loyalty to you. Ps I worked in an Orwellian call center a few years ago, I can confirm all the rumours. From my experience I found colleagues were every bit as bad as customers (customers could hide behind their phone)- colleagues smiled at your face and went behind your back (and were protected by HR and senior staff). I regret these can make you cynical and bitter, but that's life. Have a good day reader
i enjoy having boundaries. my co workers have never been my friends. if they try to start over sharing, you simply explain or express it’s not appropriate and don’t find that professional. get friends who don’t work at your same business, and you can easily be friend people anywhere else online or in person. theres 8 billion of us here….lmao let’s co workers be your awesome co workers. people don’t know how to just be cordial. it’s totally ok to be.
I love this video. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I worked for a company that was toxic and I dealt with extreme micromanaging; they also wanted us to tell our customers, "welcome to our family." I had to literally go into therapy because of this job. It was disgusting and after four long years of dealing with them, I finally got another job that doesn't cause me nearly as much stress. So, I understand how poorly these employers can treat people. So sorry you went through that.
Hi Josh
I’ve been following you for a while. Just wanted to thank you for being vulnerable with your videos. Not sure if your intention is to help others but you have helped me a great deal. Your videos make me reflect on my own journey of not having friends. This video hit hard. I’ve had instances where people claiming to be friends but in reality doing shady things behind my back to get ahead-not fun. What I’ve learned is that it’s ok to be friendly with people but ultimately realize that they are your coworkers and that’s it. Wishing you the best for you and your wife.
Hmm interesting, awkward. Being escorted out could be taken as a badge of honor. Speaking as someone who experienced considerable betrayal from siblings (Not my parents! who humbled themselves & became true friends) your old job exhibited the dark side of family. Management/HR can be amazingly low consciousness, unrecovered codependent control freaks. That said, the umbrella issue is dual relationships. Coworkers sometimes can become friends. I became a bodyworker, sometimes friends become clients, & vice versa. But then all friendships evolve, & sometimes end. It's not a defect, rather a reality. Friendships of all kinds can be fragile
I've been 'escorted' out of workplaces before, having to resist the the temptation to do something crazy on the way out ... Josh, if you're reading this, I wouldn't take any of this personally. When I've left or even been fired, I see it as a liberation :) I've felt relief. Look forward, spin that negative energy crap into gold and do well in the new job. Avoid looking back.
You should of said something sarcastic to them on your way out lmao. Btw, never heard of people being escorted out of the building for resigning?! Wtf
Big Facts
Lmaoooooo😂😂😂😂
Everything is control and fear based. No common sense, freedom, responsibility, meaning, loyalty, honor, good will....no fuckin hope. Long ago I have accepted it will all only get worse, nothing I care about matters to anyone else, anything I do will not be noticed or appreciated by anyone accept for twisted reasons of jealousy.
The less these bastards know about you the better. You should probably disclose a couple things. But really just making up a bunch of shit to fuck with their heads and keep them from harming you is best. If anything be the guy who is known to put in hard work, but also the guy who fucks off. If you can balance that it's a real sweet spot. Also keep others from ever thinking they will get away with treating you with disrespect. Make them believe they will be met with violence even. Even if you never would. Let them believe you wouldn't hesitate to go to prison if someone deserved dealing with. Be right up front and loud about what's ok and what's not. Joke around with the ones who always cracking dirty jokes, play it cool and calm and idgaf in front of the females. Don't even speak to them... It drives them crazy! Especially if ur good looking.
I was trespassed at my last job for not covering up crimes committed by coworkers.
Sorry to hear about what you had to experience at this last job, but I'm glad you found something that seems to be a better fit. Not everyone will have a heart like yours, and it hurts to learn that others don't have the same amount of care that you put into something. I was suddenly and unexpectedly fired from my job in Digital Communications at the end of November of last year, and it came as a complete blindside. I was escorted out of the building, as well. I shutdown for days and couldn't think straight or make sense of things. I'll never forget how I was made to feel. When I first landed the job, I thought I had finally found my place. I threw myself into my work, streamlined many of their processes, raved about how much I enjoyed being there, and always talked so highly of my colleagues and director (all of whom I thought I had great relationships with). Every morning that I walked into the building, I was proud to be there. It's been over a month now since I was let go and I'm still stuck in some feelings. Angry. Confused. Disheartened. Uncertain. I've been taking some much needed downtime before putting myself back out there to allow space for recovery and reevaluation. This experience tinkered with my mind the same way a first heartbreak does. Although I've accepted what happened, and although I'm disappointed about losing a solid job, I think I'm most upset about how the situation was handled. To know I wasn't worth the truth is a heavy pill to swallow. My director turned very cold out of the blue and I didn't deserve it, nor was there any justification for it. And instead of giving me the decency to box my personal belongings or arranging to have them boxed on my behalf so that I could take them home with me, it took multiple follow-up requests and a little over three weeks for me to get access to my things -- and they mailed them to me. The way I was let go makes me question the reality I was living while I was there. Only two of my direct coworkers reached out (but even them reaching out felt like they were more curious rather than concerned) and another individual I worked very closely with who was part of IT on a different floor. Having those two coworkers lingering on my Instagram account became very triggering, and eventually I had to block them because I lost all trust. Coworkers are not really our friends as much as we might want them to be. More than a month later and I still feel the sting of betrayal. It's like I was on an isolated island the entire time without my knowledge. Looking back in hindsight, it makes sense why I was asked to create process and procedure documentation for parts of my role prior to the day of my exit. They were planning to dispose of me. When I was first asked to start creating the documentation, I had a strange feeling about it but gave the benefit of the doubt as the director was fairly new and I figured it was part of her management style. Just thinking about how much I used to rave about the place and the people in it makes me sick to my stomach. This experience put into perspective just how much of a number you are when you work under someone else. It also taught me to never get too comfortable regardless of where you land on the ladder of success and that everything in this lifetime has an expiration date attached to it. I'm grateful I still have side hustles to lean on. I will only come back from this stronger and hungrier, turning pain into power. And I hope this new job is going well for you and that it leads you to where you want to be.
Work friends are just friends of utility. It’s unfortunate but very true. That goes for almost any friendship in life at work, school, church. While there are exceptions, I’d say 99% of the time this is true.
stupid democrats destroy the nuclear family and then expect their jobs to be their family
Omg how do you make friends at all then 😂
Something similar happened to me earlier this year, i was let go by the business i worked for and the attitude of literally everyone there shifted when i wasn’t gonna bring in money anymore. “We’re a family” is the biggest lie i ever believed. I realized that no one i work with is gonna see you as equal once you leave. Goes to show when people reach out to you, you find the people that actually have a heart. I feel for you man but in my mind, good riddance to the people who aren’t real.
Also, i worked a different job and the people there were completely different. Its luck of the draw i guess
I can definitely relate to all that happened to you! Been there! The humiliation of being escorted from the building, treated like a criminal after giving my blood, sweat and tears for 5 years. Even Manager of The Year the year before. So no..they really don’t give a rip about us when it gets right down to it. Congratulations on your new job! You will be fine!
😂😂lmaoooooo
Sorry for your experience with this company and their awful policies. I remember some companies here in Australia doing something similar. The way they treat people will come back to bite them and no-one will want to work for them anymore. You have moved onward and upwards! Keep going!
Glad I seen this. I was pure pressure to give a co-worker a ride home twice & I didn’t feel comfortable doing it, but she kept begging that she really needed a ride so I gave it to her, & I tried running to my car the second time to avoid it, but another co worker was like “Don’t leave her here by herself without giving her a ride home” like thats supposed to be my fucking problem . I’m 18 about to be 19 in a month, & she’s 50 years old (And a manager) and I can’t believe she would pressure A 18 year old who recently completed high school to do such a big task like that & I felt like what I did was dangerous & not safe . I don’t work there no more & I Quit that job 4 months ago .
Good for you man you aren’t a personal Uber driver like tf lol
Sounds like the manager may have been up to something, like Mrs. Robinson in the movie "The Graduate". That manager who should have been far better prepared for transportation sounds like she may have been wanting to involve you in an inappropriate relationship.
You didn't feel safe or a big task? DRIVING SOMEONE HOME IS A BIG TASK 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 unless they have shown any signs such as inappropriate discussions or trying to touch you YOU'RE THE EPITOMY of the term snowflake! Driving someone home as long as nothing inappropriate has happened...IS NO BIG GOD DAMN DEAL 🤣🤣🤣🤣 grow up
@andrewbrendan1579 Yea I feel like she was trying to "ride" something else. Extreme predatory behavior.
Even in my school and university years I had this perceptions that the connections I have were rooted in the fact that we were forced to spend 5 days of the week together. So I never considered classmates my real friends until we ended the studies and the connection was kept through effort.
Facts. Once the class ends yall stop talking
This just happened to me, 3 weeks ago. I was a senior director and with the company for over 3 years. It is a small staff and I *thought* we were all so close. I offered two weeks notice and to assist with any transition and the ED told me she accepts my resignation effective immediately. So I had to pack my stuff and go. Since then, my “friends” who all used to text me several times a day have pretty much cut me off. The surprising thing about the whole handling of it, and in your case too, they really screwed the organization by not allowing us to aid in transition and remaining cordial so that we would be open to being available for questions or assistance. Oh well! Onward and upward!
😂😂😂
I'm shocked about how they treated you! That's horrible. You have all the right to feel the way you feel right now.
It's time for change! Live life to your fullest passion. Unity and love for all that choose 🦋🌎♾️💛
2:00 too often, when they say the workplace is like a family, it’s a dysfunctional family. The first time I heard that I realized how true it is.
Family is family. Work is work.
Family is your only true friends that will look out for you. Everyone else is beyond fake and don't give af about you. Maybe they'll give you a modicum of notice if you do something for them, but beyond that, they don't care.
If you want to know whether a co-worker is a friend, ask yourself this: Do you hang out with any of these people outside of work? The only work friendships I have that were true friendships are the ones where we started doing things outside of work. They're the only ones that lasted when one of us changed jobs. I'm in my early 40s and I have 4 friendships that started in the workplace.
That's why there was a mass "I QUIT" during the pandemic many wanted to live and did "their own dreams".
The only era of my work career I made friends was when I was bright eyed and brand new to the workforce - some of best friends were from my first job. However, after some experiences after that at other jobs, I learned that you are entirely correct and it is best to keep a certain guard up with your coworkers.
I'm glad I came across this. I'm dealing with a lot at my job. I feel like I'm in High school. Been faithful for the company for 5 years and I can't push another year due to the betrayal and work overload. I realized I'm being overworked and underpaid while others stand around and talk.
They had to replace me with 4 people. Four! LOL
@@deborahcurtis1385 lol That means you are very Valuable!
I do not go to work looking to make friends. I am there for a paycheck, to learn all that I can while there, and then move on atthe appropriate time!
True. But it'd be nice to have some people to care about you on the weekends. Instead it's just crushing loneliness all the time. Even when I'm at work, I feel alone.
That is WILD.
I always thought it was weird when my old company would mention stuff like we’re a “family” and stuff like that. It’s always seemed very performative.
This kind of happened to me last year. I was unexpectedly laid off this time last year for financial reasons and lack of work for me. I’ve always kept my personal life and professional life separate. (Because of situations like this) Unless unavoidable and that happened once. The only person who knew about what was going on was the President of the company and he was the nicest and most accommodating and is the ONLY person I consider a friend because he went above and beyond for me. He actually wanted to get me back but when he asked it was too late 🤷🏾♂️
Thankfully a company found me in December, gave me everything I asked for, and I am completely remote. Which is the ideal situation for me. 💁🏾♂️😊
Well after 15 years of giving many hours overtime and cancelled vacations, I was laid off (it was a personal vendetta from a horrible boss) the week before my 65th birthday. Yep they truly don't care!!!
Time to retire anyways. Consider it a gift.
That's awful. Hope that you are ok.
YOU DO NOT HAVE FRIENDS AT WORK. EVER. THESE PEOPLE ARE SNAKES.
Have to add my experience to this. I worked for 3 years at a Telecom company as their IT Administrator, and when my boss left, I essentially became the defacto IT director. I was a one-man team working 13+ hours days to get all of the technology needs of the company handled. I sacrificed so much thinking that they would see my loyalty and reward me. Wrong. I was unceremoniously fired without warning, and they treated me no less than a criminal on my way out. Immediately remote wiped my computer, and even used attorneys to get equipment from my house instead of just calling/emailing me to ask for it. I learned the hard way that the company does NOT care about you. You are a resource to them and nothing more. You're a liability to be dealt with whom they demand you pledge your loyalty while offering none in return.
Wow!!! 😂😂😂😂
Wow I’m sorry you had to endure that after everything you gave them your 100% loyal to that company. I’m glad that all you people share your experiences of bad toxic workplace environments as I learn from each and everyone one of your stories. I wasn’t aware of these circumstances till I made myself aware of these issues which I used for do’s and dont’s if things start to escalate or problems start to occur
I've had a rollercoaster career where I've forged friendships with colleagues at a number of companies, people whom I'd come to know quite personally outside of the office. Whenever I'd leave a company, I've always been shocked by how much those relationships were sustained by where we worked. I take my friendships very seriously, having grown up in the absence of friends up until my last couple of years of high school; as such, I'd routinely be struck hard by what I perceived to be a total lack of interest from work friends in keeping a connection going. But I've come to learn 1.) I do the same thing when a colleague moves on - there's something about being out of sight that does make it easy to be out of mind; and 2.) this isn't the case with every colleague - there are some who will reciprocate, although I admit it's a very small percentage.
Over the past decade I've had to condition myself to expect relationships at work to live and die by employment, yet allow myself to give people the benefit of the doubt and actively reach out / show that I still consider them a friend outside of work. That last part is exponentially harder to keep doing, but had I not kept putting out some effort, I wouldn't have a few solid friends whom I met through work, and who do indeed reciprocate over the years. Sharing my two cents', and raising my hand to say I've definitely gone through a number of things you mentioned in this video. Congrats on the new job btw. :)
Beautifully said. I needed this.
So very true. I have been with my company for 21 years and non of the management cares about my team anymore. They work us too death and quite frankly they don’t care. Everyone else gets off holidays, week off for holidays, etc but not us. I don’t think they would care less if any of my team walked away even though we bring in multimillions each year in contracts. It’s truly sad
Working is for salary. Salary is the compensation given for shxxxt work. That’s why people given a salary
I purposely do not attend any work social functions. These events open to problems and will make your work life challenging. I keep work purely professional. I am polite and entertain only small talk with colleagues, i never overshare or talk about my private life. Its the only way to keep a level of sanity.
I'm 46.
I've seen a lot go down on jobs.
This was a lesson for sure.
This is how most places operates. This will harden you, but trust me, in the best way possible. Wishing you a better environment in your next endeavor.
Your coworkers can be your enemies once they become quiet, the battle is on!
I quit my job of 6 years at the end of 2020 mostly due to stress. I ended up basically just quitting on the spot. None of my coworkers reached out to me, but to be fair I didn't reach out to any of them either. I've never given 2 weeks notice when quitting a job. Wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors. You seem like a really smart guy, with a good work ethic, who's also likeable, so I'm sure you'll do well
If your company doesn't give you two weeks notice to fire you, you shouldn't give them two weeks to quit
Totally agree. Co-workers are nothing once you leave a company. And Never leave any personal belongings at any job, you never know when they will walk you out.
Bingo. Never leave anything personal at work.
Absolutely agree with this. Never have any personal items at your desk.
The personal items on my desk are things I can live without should anything happen. I love setting creepy sh*t on my desk. It unnerves those who may want to linger.
I’m just a stranger on the internet, but you have such a kind and warm energy.
I’m so sorry this has been such a painful experience. I hope this new job brings people that match your energy! I know exactly how you feel!