Stop Toxic People In Their Tracks | Navy SEAL Wisdom
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- Опубліковано 17 гру 2023
- Former Navy SEAL and Extreme Ownership co-author Jocko Willink and TOPGUN and Echelon Front Instructor Dave Berke give you the steps to stop toxic people in your life.
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My experience is that bad management always covers for their bad managers and team leads. They do not want to solve the issues.
100%
People in managerial positions are terrified to admit mistakes or wrongdoing because it will lead to being undermined.
I have often told my kids, if someone is acting out and hard to get along with, there is probably something in their life that you don’t know about. I have had to work with some nasty people and I just keep everything straight business, not sharing stories or personal information.
Good approach. But sometimes I think there is nothing in their life that's so bad - they're just horrible people. When I've had close family members dying, I never went to work and tried to be obnoxious to other people. You are 100% right about never sharing stories or personal info - they will ALWAYS repeat and twist it to others later.
@@goodyeoman4534yeah keep your cards close to your chest but sometimes they’ll start asking things about you to get information about you to use it against you or try to make you look stupid/bully you. Idk what to do in that situation because if somebody asked you “where do you live at?” How do you dodge the question without seeming like an asshole?
You gotta keep in mind other peoples opinion of you, if you come on too strong or aggressive to the bully, others will see that and just think you’re being a dick when they don’t see the subtle mind games the bully is playing with you to torment you.
Then when it comes down to it, those other people won’t have your back because they’ll say “well you were rude to this person here”
I agree with you 100 percent. Some people just need to get laid more often as well! That’s putting it bluntly but it’s the truth.
@@isolatedbutjacked7036 The more you say, the more they can twist. Yes, they can twist silence too, but with far less success. Plus, staying silent REALLY winds them up.
Nice way to live life buddy.
Not at all a dull life with no funny and interesting interactions or discussions!
Stop caring about what people think of you or what they make of your story.
I get your point, but I think its a good quote not a way of life pal
From my experience the laziest people are the most toxic
100%
Read as *most broken* from this discussion.
Amen!
The best leader is constantly training their replacement
Laziest people need to find a better fit that sparks their real fuel. 6 months in, if they're only going downhill - time to go - life is short. Time to do the real work.
Regardless of what they say, how's their attitude and energy most days? That's a hell of a lot more honest than the words.
Narcissistic bosses are the worst to deal with.
100%. There is no reconciliation with a narc boss.
and even if there was reconciliation, its always going to be YOU admitting YOU failed THEM. LOL
@@acangial1
@@slonktonkster9680never break, racist narcs are the worst.never ending torment, their such a drag living in the past, everyday.
Honeypot them, then exploit their weakness and poor judgement. Keep your distance from the BAIT, maintain your plausible deniability. You want to control them, not destroy your job or the company. EVERY narcissist has their kink, your job is to use it to trap them.
@1101agaoj how do you honeypot someone. Could you help point me in the right direction of the honeypot
I worked for a company where people on all levels were toxic. I moved on, this company wasn’t worthy of my efforts and talent.
What company?
Same
@te9591 CDW
Same. I was VP of a company and the owner enjoyed pitting one manager against the other, drama lover. I was #10 to resign in disgust after 30 months working there and 6 years into the company's existence. He has since fired senior manager #11 & #12. This is a small company of ~100 people. It is a joke. He was President of bigger companies (always had a boss himself), but left to his own devices he created a hellhole of yes men.
@sburns2421 i was in a shiddy fast food job where the store manager would not correct behavior so toxicity would escalate to crew violence and he would sit back and laugh about it. And i believe that the managerial crew would laugh at the videos in private.
Dealing with nutty managers and co-workers is all part of the challenge of work. It takes tremendous discipline and maturity to deal with troubled people but it educates you emotionally.
This
@@randombutrelevant1606I buy this more than the “tolerate until you die” and “toughen up”approach stated by this op. My time isn’t worth dealing with shit like that.
This dismisses the immaturity that exists in the workplace and how many levels of deception are always at play.
Cemeteries are full of indispensable people!
Ego is kept in check by strong leadership period. You do not get paid to come to work and dislike others.
What if the other person is only a dick when the leader is not around?
I dont get paid to like em either
I can dislike anyone I want without them knowing and if your not pulling your weight I definitely won't like you.
@MajikalCowpoke At minimum it should be neutral. Stress is a business and life killer
The time spent to talk behind someone's back is the time not spend on doing tasks. So proper response is "Shut up and go back to your work !!!".
There are only two options possible. Someone is really toxic and impossible to work with, or he is much better then others and is perceived as threat by others so they want him to get laid off.
Management stuff simply do not even consider the second option out of convenient or ignorance. So they usually get rid of "troublesome" guy. The problem only occurs when the guy is irreplaceable ...
I both situation, the worker who has time to talk behind his back, is not doing his job !
I work with a toxic asf lady... the best way to deal with her is to ignore her... stop responding to her emails etc... people are only in power for as long as you continue to subordinate yourself... as soon as you remove yourself from the situation the whole thing come crashing down like a house of cards
@@brandibrat226 Yup. I love how the person you responded to never had anything to say in response to this. And also, to the person you responded to, it doesn't always come crashing down like a house of cards, sometimes it just stays the same, other times it comes crashing down on you instead of them...
@@PhillyEaglesFanatic it always comes crashing down like a house of cards, your comment alone suggests you are probably one of the toxic asf people are having to work with that I am talking about.
Work related - yes - but anything else - no. And dont offer up any charity because you will simply be subscribing to their shit. My point was - if you are in a toxic relationship - leave , if you are in a dead end job with toxic people - leave (and maybe start a business?), if you are surrounded by negative people in a friendship group etc - leave. You will soon make friends. Going out on your own, standing on your own two feet and doing things yourself is the most liberating self-help thing you can do for yourself.
@@_____7704 "it always comes crashing down like a house of cards" Not always. Sometimes it does, but not always. You are making a very absolute, across the board statement as if it happens 100% of the time, without fail, in all situations. When it does come crashing down, it varies on who it comes crashing down on.
"your comment alone suggests you are probably one of the toxic asf people are having to work with that I am talking" Seriously dude? What makes you say that? I have dealt with plenty of crappy and toxic behavior in the workplace, I just recently "escaped" from once such place. Slap full of toxic assholes. Hypocritical f**kers with fragile egos, the classic dish it out but can't take it, antagonistic pricks, and oppositional defiant traits in all but maybe one of them. Lol.
I'm not a toxic coworker. Im also not a perfect coworker mind you.
If I have any trait verging on toxic, it's complaining subtly or outright to my fellow coworkers about ridiculous bullshit from management because they are a disaster instead of just sucking it up and getting the work done.
@@_____7704 Still waiting for a response from you on my last comment above from 17 hours ago.
We need to teach our children how to handle toxic people and bullies in their youth. I told my son that the teacher, coach or student that grate on your nerves in school are still out in the real world when you become an adult.
Wish my parents taught me this but they were really immature and were also my bullies
Hate to be the bad guy but... sometimes everyone else is actually the problem. It is possible that the "problem guy" is actually surrounded by idiots.
100 percent. Especially in tech and engineering
I really doubt everyone else is the problem. Probably you’re delusional. Or you have purposely made yourself irreplaceable (unpromotable).
They have done studies that show psychopaths create chaos and appear to be the best because they thrive in their own shit.
Character assassination is a key tool of poor management. To single out certain workers as toxic is usually a tactic to delegitimize their valid issues, concerns, or grievances. Quite often, the most toxic people at jobs are the most outgoing, charismatic., and entertaining.
Everyone is useful, no one is necessary. Stay humble.
Hats off to the CEO for recognizing the problem, so many managers shrug their shoulders when this occurs.
Because they are managers, not leaders...Boeing is a perfect example of late; - in 28 years, I had one manager that was a leader, and he resigned his position after about a year and went back to being a worker. He then focused on being an adjunct professor part time until he earned a full time position and left the company.
I've seen alpt of people in tenure positions actually sabotage new good employees because they saw them as a threat. It's a sad, and a very too often occurrence.
I will never forget being told by my father i was fired from a job because i made the crew i was hired on to work for look bad by working circles around them(i was taught to work until its done right) I believe a rake is better then an air blower for a lawn, i dont spread deicer in front of doorways so it can be tracked all over the insides of businesses, this kind of logic has made me persona non grata to those whom see that as a threat instead of an ally. Breaks my heart too cause theres nothing more satisfying then going to a jobsite and making it better then when ya got there man! I guess im just built diff being raised by a korean war vet
It's crazy because people get like scared. I'm similar
Don’t ever work at a charity. It’s even worse in that sector.
I had this happen to me when I began as a CNA. I worked circles around my coworkers, thinking I was doing what I was supposed to be doing and doing it because it was important and caring about the residents needs. Little did I know this would cause me to become targeted and disliked by my coworkers. So much so that I began to hate coming into work and confused to why I was having all this trouble with coworkers when I simply showed up and did my job to the best of my ability each day. Then I found that this was the case in every healthcare scenario I worked in. The healthcare industry is only in business to make money. In no way does caring for and treating a patients needs enter the top priority for healthcare in this country. And additionally, I've concluded that you have to be heartless and have a gossipy, clique-forming, high school girls type of attitude to fit in and last.
I pray all of you stay true to your integrity, even in the face of the crabs in the bucket...you're golden, rare.
@@gangstadrz9326 Government, too. Government jobs tend to attract uncompetitive men, who all just want to keep sucking on the taxpayers teet until they retire so they can still suck on it some more. Whining about how offended someone is, is just a form of soft bullying. The thing about having a command voice is that it evokes action, something most prior service military and police understand but is deemed offensive by the weak. Same thing with throwing the bell curve in elementary school. You throw the bell curve for all the normal and slow kids, you're gonna get hated. Probably even by the teacher as well.
I work for a boss who nit picks everything. I dread having conversations with them because it's always stupid pointless shit they want changed and then you have to go back to clients asking them for the stupid shit the boss wants and you're the one that has to deal with client attitudes because even you know you're asking them for dumb shit, but it's what the boss wants.
Identify the behavior, address the behavior directly, with concern and respect. Allow the person the avenue to explain themselves or vent. Finally, Communicate what needs to be corrected and give the person the ultimatum as to how the behavior needs to change.
15:30. “If they beat me, and I fail, good on them.” This is a rare type of honor, and it stems from ownership.
We either win or we learn. Either is GOOD.
That is a Moronic quote.
There is a caveat to that. If the person gets beat under the same conditions or if the other person is doing so by going above and beyond what is expected. Like working nights and weekends, not taking any time off, etc. Like a business purposely taking a loss to undercut a competitor.
EchelonFront not every has to be a lesson. Sometimes you just fail at life.
No one is irreplaceable!
Except for Elon Musk.
Everyone is replaceable, the trick is to be easier to put up with than you are to be replaced
Bullshit
Because truly irreplaceables don't get paid what they're worth so they leave, hence inevitable replacement
I am!
Traditional mindset: Like our James Grant did as We too since the day he was knighted to then be appointed as the 1st Sheriff of their 2 separate GRANT Counties in the Highlands appointed🗡️,no shield 🛡️ or armor. Just Highland Sheriff going it alone, every day. Now overnight, in hopes of helping those at greatest time of THEIR need
I was conceived to full fill the family line that one day was started a legacy in Strathspey of 1206.
An oath, Also know today as “Protect and Serve”….( All others before one’s self & never back down but, “Stand Fast!” -King and Chieftain of Clan Grant. 0:22 🏴
(* and , yes today we still go out with little to no sense of Self Preservation nor the mental capacity to retreat. I still Patrol 3 areas solo from 22:00 - 07:00 those hours the other 3 PDs are On Call overnights + me. ( Would be nice to have a K9 along 🐕🦺❤)
Leadership is about being insightful and having the courage to confront all challenges with immediacy.
I know that know one gives a crap about some random strangers advice on the internet…but learn my advice here. Keep your coworkers close, but keep them coworkers. They don’t need to be your best friend, or know every personal detail in your life. Nor do you need to know their personal business.
That’s the key to success in the workplace. It’s a balance.
This scenario is true for micromanagers. It's clear that the solution is a top-down approach. The problem happens is if the leaders do not want to take action on not having bottlenecks.
Lawrence Taylor said one smart thing. He realized that when he retired, there was an NFL game the next week. Most everyone is replaceable.
The team still has to succeed, no matter who is the coach, director, or leader. Decentralized Command is the only way to prepare for an unforeseen departure.
Bruh, if you want to play basketball on the '95 Bulls you gotta pass Jordan the ball.
If you have time, your advice is rock solid. If not…
If your product is software and if you have a hard deadline to build it and if the toxic employee is indispensable, then you have to ask yourself “what is the objective?”. If the objective is a social experiment, then take all the time in the world and fix your employee. If your objective is to build quality software on time, then tighten your chin strap. You’re too late to send your toxic, but valuable employee home and Mr. Toxic doesn’t have time to train his replacement. There comes a point in software projects where throwing more people at the problem will not help and taking away a key player, albeit toxic, can’t help either.
Talk to Mr. Toxic. If that helps, problem solved. Otherwise, get this iteration of software development behind you and replace Mr. Toxic at the beginning of the next production cycle. The sun will come out, birds will sing and the entire culture of the team will improve.
"We don't want to train his replacement as a hedge against getting rid of him" But that's exactly what happens every time
Maybe it's just me but I was asked at one point a few years ago if I was training anyone to do the things that I could do and I said "isn't that how you get replaced?" and my boss said, "no, that"s how you get promoted"
Since that short conversation I still work for the same company and I've been promoted 3 times.
It’s a primary responsibility of doing a job to ensure that job can get done without you. If you are in an organization where people are holding power by holding knowledge or some other trickery, start looking for a new team. If you aren’t on the inside of the scam, you will get cheated until you get ejected.
Many exceptions, of course. There's a bunch of backend programmers fresh off college and a full stack greybeard on the team. What is he supposed to do, take 10+ years of his life to teach them what he has learned, much of which may well rely on logical/mathematical/analytical talent that cannot actually be taught?@@nunyabidness3075
that is the problem with manager who didn't give any instructions but expecting everything to go as planned...😅
Finally, people who realise that specialisation is not a good thing, both for the organisation, and for the individual.
I just got canned from a toxic tech company about the same size as your example. They let me go for lack of sales right after my quarterly review where they said everything was great, keep it up. They were being acquired and also told me to put a hold on sales, so the entire thing made no sense. On top of that the COO, CEO and HR Manager all started crying on the Zoom call with me. People are so weird, why couldn't they just admit they had been acquired and the new leadership didn't like me? I was a manager so I knew we had a 3 strike policy as well as performance improvement plan as part of our process as I had used them on staff I had managed. I was like where are my 3 strikes?
When some doors close, others open. Be ready for the next opportunity. But take the time to analyze why the new leadership didn't like you. What could you have done to improve your relationship with your leadership? Take the lessons learned from this experience and apply them going forward.
@leifbabin1512 this is the hardest thing to accept about the philosophy your company promotes- learning that just because something bad happened to you (getting fired), it doesn't mean it was your fault, but you can always learn and grow from an experience and do something about it. Which is difficult to hear (for me personally, at least) because I have often preferred to just be pissed and sad in non-productive ways instead of acting
Sometimes people have narcissism and other toxic personalities. Also, some folks want their people to be in their new company. Not folks they don't know. Many reasons. I would try to just move on. Folks are particular in the business world and its hard to change mindsets.
I can tell you why they lied. They dont want to admit to employment security that they had no valid reason, so they make something up and hope you dont file for unemployment and dispute their bullshit. I got fired 1 day after giving notice for family medical leave, no reason given. Spoke to HR and they admitted it was unethical and against the law. Sued and all management involved were fired. They are better off making up some bullshit excuse.
Damn that's bs
My coworker is lazy. Constantly unmotivated. He’s depressed and lost right now and I am sick and tired of his shit. Makes every excuse in the book. “My dad died, lost my job of 12 years, got really sick, etc”. I wish this dude would get his shit together and man up. I work alone by the way…
There's also a situation that people are looking like they're becoming toxic because they're getting very frustrated with the lack of cooperation, communication, and follow through from their co-workers and their management. It's best to talk with management see if there can actually be any solutions, but too often management says hey let's just check back in a couple months and nothing really changes. In my opinion the best thing to do in that situation if nobody is listening to any kind of good sets then just leave that company. Don't tolerate it. Let them fail, and let them regret not working with you!
Contrary to popular belief, management can't actually affect change on a grassroots level. Much that we would like to see them perform in this way
The job of a manager is to respond to crisis or effectively handle complaints against the brand. They aren't equipped to be interpersonal or even to have influence. This is why I don't address personal concerns. Just let it ride until it becomes a pressing matter that leadership absolutely have to address in the way only they can
It isn't in their brain structure to reroute misunderstandings. The best you could hope for is exactly as you said, check back in a couple months. This is because the issue of poor communication has to be on the docket and resemble company wide change, otherwise it doesn't fall into the wheel house of concern
This is why it's on you to bring it to attention as an initiative. Again, their role is to spot check topical concerns. A disgruntled customer, a blown over sign, excessive toilet paper use
Their measure of control is to make monument of what they put their hands to when it comes time for a reckoning. It probably goes back to old hunter gatherer methods of rewards for valor. Letting the whole tribe see what initiative looks like. They get a surge of chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin for their troubles. A bit more autonomy and maybe a larger helping of the game for that evening
If you are struggling to maintain communication, this is because your ambition runs contrary to that effect. The chief is really looking for ways to strengthen his own resolve and wants to motivate his tribe to seek out solutions and ideas to that end. If you're not driving deep and padding out the big score in spite of routine challenges, it doesn't net him any more progress toward reassurance. Go and do 85 burpees, etc
This is disappointing because excessive sharpening actually makes the instrument blunt. You would hope that a team leader would have some interest in teaching a man to fish. Instilling core values and bonding techniques. Good communication isn't about favoritism, it's about keeping synergy in the line and preparedness for when the stakes bring pressure
Most leadership is focused on keeping the company lean. Motivating it's members by challenging their ego. Obviously people are going to be enthusiastic about scoring more money. All I'm saying is that manhood should involve significant bonds between you and your fellow man. In addition to keeping the core ethics of what it would be like to assume responsibility when it becomes your time. You're going to have to be around other people in pursuit of that aim. But what's most important is what kind of enabling factors remain once the chief is gone. Will the core maintain or will they fall apart and tear at each other's throats the moment he leaves?
@@ramblincapuchin9075 that sounds like bullshit. You can make sure to hire the right people, and fire people that aren't doing their job properly
Sounds like a perfect example of humans saying "we dont like you but we can use you and lie about you to steal your work." Oh the ol Oppenheimer special. Nikkola Tesla special. The list goes on and on.
Exactly. They are talking about this like he is a shift supervisor at Wendy’s.
“Empire building” is what making yourself invaluable at work is known as I believe.
It happens on a blue collar level too, locking up necessary tools in their toolbox for example.
Empire building is something completely different.
@@davidnelson7719 different to what?
@@pm3577 To what you just described. Just google the term.
All companies need to have the employees rate and evaluate their supervisors which always brings those egos down and shows if the work team is behind them and working for them not against each other. Trust me supervisors have been the cause of loosing really good employees. Don't let a bad supervisor run your company name down so nobody wants to work there... this yearly evaluation really is an eye opener for companies
I was asked to do that in my exit meeting w/HR and she got snarky with me when she asked for examples and I provided her with multiple examples.
Im IT, I have a tech degree and many years of experience in private sector, my supervisor has a degree in music theory and got the job as director of IT because his boyfriend was on staff. He was terrified of confrontation, let other staff members talk down to us, and was always playing victim when he would start a rumor and get called out about it.
HR told me “he’s just they shy type” I asked if that was what the organization looks for in a leader & she ignored me. 😐😐
Ego is the bane of humanity; a false self to cover up the true (vulnerable) self. I guarantee you there is something going on in this person's life. In my humble opinion, the council conversations are the best approach to help this person help himself -that's team work. Allow this guy the choice to reset and come back in a better individual. And if he won't take the carrot then apply the stick. Remember, other employees are watching this scenario and will interpret whatever implicit/explicit message upper management's actions show. Great topic!
In most companies, when they have someone that is a rock star, works hard, gets things done, and suddenly are focusing on finding that person a ¨backup¨, and feign concern that they are going to get hit by a bus, then you know they are being disengenous, are trying to find replacement for you, and that it is time for you to find a new job.
Never ceases to amaze me that these videos come up just when I need them. Helps reassure and guide my approach to situations that come up. Keep up the good work, it’s appreciated.
I mean... its possible they come up because you are being spied on by your technology.
You need to be careful with the narcissists too, sometimes it will be one of those people, at the beginning they are all nice and resourceful and stuff and once they get to a position in power like being the only one who can run something or to be at the top of the ladder they show the true personality, the book Dangerous personalities may be a good pairing for this piece of advice
That's why it's so important to take the time to find the person that is the right fit not only for the job, but the company or team.
It's really hard to screen before hand, but I get don't keep people around that don't fit.
I feel I've become a bit toxic myself. I really try hard not to let things people do to bother me but i find myself overreacting to things that annoys me. I have just gotten over a chronic illness and my body and mind aren't the same as they used to be. Now I've hurt my back at work and i think i may need a surgery and of course my work is trying to avoid it by going through physio and rehab but it's ongoing. There are also people who are on limited duties due to age or injury and i feel i have to cover those people and i don't believe it's my problem they can't do their work properly. On top of this i have a 2 year old who has autism (suspected) and a 6 month old who has had bad reflux and has been very difficult. I really feel i need to move on because that's not who i see myself as or it's not the person i want yo be. I sometimes walk into work and see some of my coworkers and i get a feeling of dread and my stomach actually does laps. When the particular people don't show up i feel much better. Sorry for ranting i needed to get it off my chest. I'm trying to sort out my feelings.
Don’t feel bad expressing that. I’m a veteran and after 8yrs of service (3 tours) I never gave myself any time to decompress, I immediately started working part time and going to school full time. I don’t have any kids but I can imagine the added pressure it adds. My first corporate job was great until I found out 2/5 of my department had actually experience & a degree in our IT field, the others got hired on because they were friends w/the CEO or have been there since the place opened. I took on a lot more work & started noticing my supervisor giving the credit to his friend he hired on, she was given so much freedom and treated us like we were her employees, would snap her fingers in our face then start talk yelling at you for defending yourself. I hold stress in my back and let me tell you holding in my anger started triggering old wounds, made me sick, and I found myself so depressed that I needed to go to mental health. The final straw was when I caught my boss opening up an old ticket I closed and adding a comment that said “customer never received help” when I confronted him about it he said I didn’t do it quick enough……😐 After I clocked out I never returned again.
I think pulling someone aside, saying i want so-and-so trained up and to take lead is a bad idea. I've seen this happen- the SME will think something is up. Not only will they not adequately train the other guy, chances are they'll think the writing is on the wall, and they'll cut their losses and go somewhere else with no backup.
NOBODY is irreplaceable..
NOBODY is above reproach..
I'd had the best and the absolute worst bosses at this one company. After many years working there, the worst boss was so toxic that I finally decided to quit. I never figured out why, but he hated me. He seemed friendly at first, but then I started hearing about 'things that weren't out in the open' about him. I tried so hard to move to different departments. He always did things to stop me from being able to move. He kept me there in that miserable situation (at the peak of the housing crisis). I was trapped.
Probably jealous of you. Some people have marked narcissistic traits and they can't hand that other people may have more knowledge than them.
Thx for your service.. Jocko
Damn, first thing I'm doing when i get to work today, is making myself replaceable, for the company 🙏
I have started and sold a few small companies, every one can be replaced. Upper management should realize that top notch people are probably more important than the CEO, COO.
From a cofounder CTO, the organizational chart review is always a good way to put a CTO in place. Typically in larger companies, the CTO can be in the second or third lower tier of the C-suite below the COO and CEO. Egos and insecurities are the worst on leadership teams. For example, a weak-minded divide-and-conquer CEO will kill the company.
Love this discussion. Top notch, on all counts and scenarios. I particularly like the ending sentiment, and the layer regarding single points of failure and the use of the phrase “what if they ‘get hit by a bus’?” - use it all the time lol.
I have been the person on the other end who has a considerable amount of knowledge and there have been two businesses that have failed after I left them. There were people that felt I was difficult, and I was, I had to be, in a position like CTO or CISO, if you fail compliance or planning compliance people go to jail, lives are ruined, companies fold. In a small company anyone who is doing their job well is irreplaceable. There were plenty of people that if you let them go the company would be in jeopardy. From my perspective the people who complained about that couldn't take over the job I did, were threatened by the level of expertise, and/or generally trying to manipulate for power. When I left one of the companies, I provided them with everything they needed to replace my functions if the next person was willing to put in the same hours, I left volumes of documentation, automated systems, I tried to always work to the goal of being able to pass my job to someone else, because you can't advance if you don't.
The only reason a single person in an organization is "irreplaceable", is because the rest of the team have been duped into a paradigm. E V E R Y O N E is replaceable. Everyone.
I'm not gloating, but I've left places because I was placed in an unfair work split and the business crashed, but that's not my fault that the rest of the team did not care enough to complete the jobs necessary for success
I wish I had read Jocko's books 6 years ago so I could of handled my self better went I had to deal with lazy, manipulative, toxic coworkers, but at least now....I have no coworkers. I still work, but only have me and my boss to deal with. My son bought several of Jocko's books about 4 years ago and it changed his life!
Good Deal Dave is such a good foil for Jocko.
This advice is very startup specific. Ideal corporation runs as Dave says, average corporation (middle 87.5%) are training a replacement to keep wages down. In a large corporation, you are at war for resources with other departments and having someone who knows how to do a mission critical task and is the only one who can do that is a game changer for that dynamic. It accrues more budget, more headcount, and greater political power in the long run. A leader recognizes these highly competent individual contributors, gathers them as they can, and protects all of the other personnel they are responsible for by leveraging that political power to avoid layoffs for their team.
As an operations manager, I've learned over the years that I take all of the blame, and none of gain. That means I'm the the barrier between my men and upper management. This simply means that whatever happens, it is never, ever, because of what my men do. I imagine it's the same for the military.
Such a manager exists?!
It's also the same if you're a man and you're married to a woman.
Not always
And shouldering that blame with humility is what earns you the respect of your peers and your team.
That sort of respect is hard to come by, and deeply undervalued in today’s cutthroat corporate environments.
Nah. That’s not how leadership works. It’s not a blame vs gain equation.
Merry Christmas
Ive worked in and around Construction and a few good people but a lot of egos and toxic masculinity who refuse to pass knowledge and have some sort of nepotism to the boss. This doesnt start and end with construction as many companies are toxic hell holes soul suckers. My advice is if your working around negativity then look for jobs with less interaction with co workers. Ive done crew style work and felt annoyed paired with all kinds of personalities.
Nor does it start and end with men. Women are every bit the same way in the same situations. Many times, they're worse.
@@tetedur377I'd say men are worse... You kinda expect women to be catty but the amount of bitchassness in so many of the men these days makes your blood boil.
This literally came at the right time. Thank you
We all need to be reminded of these things from time to time.
I'd you 100% truly want the team to do well and improve from there, ego is the biggest shortcoming.
.. the problem in the business world is , most all companies want to run it with everyone thinking competitively and by doing so with its members, the way it is set up, it’s jockeying everyone against one another.
The individual suffers because he learns that in order to make it up or at least try, one has to simply put up a ‘front’ , a facade, that says, “I can do it better than anyone else “ and the facade is usually consist of a combination of , indifference, hostility, intimidation, Unfriendliness, arrogance Etc .
More money more status , we’ll cut for it .
As The old adage goes: The bigger you are, the harder you are to fuck with.
-Some guy
Fatter? Or, muscled? Either doesn't mean squat. I've met dudes who were on steroids and buff as F who couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag. So, size isn't indicative of being knowledgeable on fighting tactics. I've met big dudes without an ounce of confidence. Fat ones... duh! But the muscular types, too.
@@whomeye2168 So if you're a bully, are you going to pick on the skinny guy or the man who looks like he will stuff you into a locker if you piss him off?
Money is the motive
Everyone else can kick rocks
I am now in a leadership role and have come to understand that it's not always about recruiting the most qualified but also about recruiting the right person. If your coworkers hate your guts after multiple jobs then the problem may be you.
I needed too see this video thank you
Look there is a fine line here. There are literally books titled how to become indispensable. That should be everyone's goal frankly. But if you have someone who is constantly causing drama that's an issue. There is a huge difference in being indispensable and a great employee and being indispensable and being a terrible employee. If there is constant friction between a leader and their staff then they need to go.
@ 5,55 I loved working as the third party where they hired me because of others not making it on time, I hat to install wireing for the a shopping malls ventilation where they had already put ceiling on armstrong under ladder.
I think this happens a lot in tech folks. They've had to fight to prove themselves to gain any footing. The competition to be in that position is FIERCE.
Once they make it, they can't turn it off, they're always going to be trying to prove themselves. (And probably quietly eliminating competition) so they will be in the position of being irreplicable.
It really isn't something they can stop. It comes off as ego, but it's really masked insecurity. Like many things in life.
Valuable information - Thanks guys.
Thanks for watching.
Right on. Keep getting after it.
I can relate as the guy with the ego. I feel I need to progress in my job. My supervisor gave me someone to train, but constantly pulls him away to do menial bs tasks, so I am still left as the only one in my role. I have been passed up three times for promotion because I am the only one trained to do what I do and I simply want to transfer to a different dept
"escalation of counseling" requires some degree of authority (and leadership obviously)... but without the authority, it's hard to reign in an ego problem. often boomers in the e-suite like to delegate responsibility, but don't delegate the corresponding authority. makes it hard to manage in these kinds of circumstances.
Killer take on it!
This is a great video. Escalation and progressive counseling(discipline) works with MOST people. Meeting 2, 3, 4 NEED to be documented
I would even say that making sure you know how to council. its important because at the end of the day as a leader you are there to influence people to willingly follow you. Key work, “Willingly”.
Good Leadership works towards creating the healthy environment for the future and does not work towards being a master puppeteer.
That’s how they know what strings can be pulled and what strings can be cut...
They not only get in there and tie knots...
They work it all out so that the “show goes on”...
The prima donna is typically both loved and hated because of the nature of people... jealousy and all that jazz gets involved.
But the prima donna that supports the production and recognizes that they are in the spotlight because of the crew doing their work superbly and making them look so good.
Reflecting that respect to the team and taking their bows for the team.
Without acting like a “prima donna” is cherished by those who know the real deal and score.
There are the extroverted personalities that want to be “alpha’s”...
But typically they are trying to create the Zoo scenario situation and eat first.
That’s not a actual alpha.
Every situation that the pack faces is a team event.
Every team member does their part based on what they are capable of.
The pack takes care of the pack.
Every member has their part to do.
Incompetent people fear competent people.
Incompetent people require scapegoats and engage in blame shifting behaviors.
Real leadership does not avoid accountability and transparency where appropriate.
Rewards should be based on actual merit not social engineering and rhetorical labels.
If the reward structures are built properly the work gets done by those who got the work done.
For some people this is problematic because they don’t actively engage.
They defer the work and responsibility. Then they get bent out of shape because they are not in the loop.
They are not in loop because they were hiding in their office.
Often all that’s required for management to be good management...
Is to lurk about and be approachable.
Suddenly your informed and influential... even when you cannot perform the work involved because that’s not your skill set.
But you heard about everything and paid attention to details.
Knowledge is power.
Many want their position and money to be more important than knowledge and ability.
They are often in powerful positions and the reason why things are not “allowed” to much be better.
They get in their own way and limit their success and the success of the organization.
When that’s the truth of the situation...
They are often unaware of it or completely aware of it.
Either way they will not acknowledge reality.
Lots of great points.
I teach and work with teens in education. I tell them daily school is not just for maths, English, science etc, it's a place you can on the whole be safely educated in dealing with people you like, dislike, trust, don't trust. This prepares you for life after education
Good stuff.
I had a Warrant Officer in my section who was nothing but toxic, but he did have the technical knowledge that it was necessary to keep him around. Guy couldn't even stand laughing in the section and would tell people to stop.
I would take the approach to foster a program with them to explain to them that we need to start a documentation backend that describes operational, procedural, etc., etc. processes that other people could follow. Exactly from a risk management perspective, there should be nothing bad about this approach nor confrontational. This approach also allows you to not have difficult conversations or overstep any boundaries that could offend them.
Great vid. I miss the good old days where you could go out back and knuckle up.
Might feel good but sure as shoot ain’t the way. Otherwise that’s how every conflict would be approached. But I understand the feeling though. Sure can relate 😅
This is a very complicated topic, the parameters for the evaluation of this topic set up in this particular example.. reflect only a very very small portion of the possible circumstances... it is a very good and valid observation, for the health of not only a community, but the community, nation, and worlds industrial viability. Again... the particular parameters set up in this example, are only a very small example, of a very large body of possibilities which may exhibit similar symptoms. Not an easy topic to handle in many cases... if you find the reason for the symptoms are that guys dependence on imported, or cheap labor, or if he is dependent on another example who is effectively irreplacable, and stressed due to that... you can fire and replace fifteen of those toxic guys and never get over the problem.
Love this ✨️
Awesome content.
This perfectly outlines what the military did to me lol my last job, I constantly tried to make sure others on the team had gouge defining what I was working on for the “bus” factor. My boss would always correct me and say “the lottery factor”. If your military training was done right, you shouldn’t ever want to be the only person who can do something because there’s a mission and a team tasked with that mission, not one person….civilians get tremendously confused by NOT wanting “job security”.
i work in an environment with both seasonal and full time employees.
MANY seasonal workers, when "fed up", just finish their shift (or not), go home, pack up and go.
partof this is people who just go to work and want to drama or garbage.
The other is ones that say "i don't need this" and just walk away.
It seems to me that the ones who leave in the middle of the night are cowards.
The ones that say "nah, not dealing with your sh-t anymore" and walk off are not cowards. They stood up for themselves. GOOD.
magivally, anybody who does the latter always lands on their feet. The others, well, do not...generally
As a mechanic, I've dealt with team players. I call them, the union. And in the union, you're allowed to make massive mistakes. Sometimes, the type of mistakes that put people's lives in danger. Or create economic oppression, at a massive scale. Just show up to work with a hangover, and do the best you can..... With a hangover..... Don't worry...... If you get caught being drunk on the job..... The union will protect you.
Over the last 30 years I have spent 85% of my career, fixing, their collective mistakes.
Management comes to me and says..... Mr mckinnon.... We want you to be a team leader. I said..... No.
I can't afford to take that kind of cut in pay.
People are often too liberal when branding others toxic. We often brand them as toxic because they’re not going along with MY program. They’re not doing what I want them or need them to do so I can feel ok. It’s easier to point the finger at somebody else and cast them aside than to look at my part and understand whether or not I am being a control freak as a result of my unhealthy emotional dependency. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me. I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. So I have to be very mindful and practice rigorous acceptance.
This is a good outlook. Toxic workplaces certainly exist, but the term is often jumped to, too quickly.
Putting yourself in that mindset can make it self-fulfilling.
that’s common sense, thanks for typing out a whole essay to say the obvious, literally to everyone.
Took me a second to realize this was not Jocko's original channel. Surprised this channel doesn't have more subs
We are working to spread the message. Thanks for the encouragement.
Needed this, this town is infested with this, can’t wait for breaks, constantly whines about work load at work, lives for the weekend and drags ass at work. One person after another is trying to out do the other and when they notice something, instead of getting involved or teaching, they just escalate the problem to the next person or group. They prefer people who don’t care about the job yet keep them around because they are told to care. I’m all for following a good leader but when my coworkers are both lifting me up and throwing me away, I toss up my hands and quit because the group failed
Work for yourself. In an interview a few months ago an owner talked about her problem employee. I was not booked adequately by this employee and I in turn gave clients my number to text me if they called to book me and was told I was not available. I was accused of stealing clients. I was told by co-workers they were not booked adequately either. The owner did not want to deal with the issue. She just wanted to hike and play soccer. I left.
I’m thinking that if I can’t find a replacement right away then I do what it takes to keep him from loosing the place as a leader and making it a priority to meet these timelines and stay alive.
Ranger sayings 101: "No-one is irreplaceable."
That’s only true if you have the military funneling people to you 😂 yeah nobody is irreplaceable to the government, they have trillions of unearned stolen tax dollars, they inflate the dollar, they use force to gain compliance, and there are thousands that grow up wanting to be there
Agreed, this should fall under Business Continuity Management. Processes and procedures should be in place in case anything happens to critical business assets, this includes people.
There is no "checking the ego" with a toxic narcissist. They rule using fear and you can not win, only distance yourself to protect yourself.
Sadly where I work we are so top-heavy with EGO, that no one is safe. Such a hostile place. Employees have "learned helplessness" and just give up.
It's all about controlling you. Toxic people have no qualms about penetrating your boundaries and stealing your peace, that way, your power is drained and they can do with you what they will. Stay firm.
My boss did this to me!!
Over 4 years
Now I’m almost out due to how much work this other co worker absorbed.
I was the manager and she was admin.
People don’t rlly know that sitting back and watching and learning has more negative impacts then you think man ESP in the subconscious when it is indirect. Cause we learn but knowledge also takes away from how u view someone else and then how they view the person viewing u
6:10-6:30 Brutal.
As someone coming from a software background I interpret this story a little different: New hire COO with no idea what the company does disrespects the CTO who built the company from scratch (guessing he used to be CEO but demoted himself because he doesn't like marketing). Learn to check your ego and listen to people who know more.
Had this problem in my company my boss was putting so much responsibly on me which was fine but the boss also was putting so much passcodes and such on me that the company wouldn’t even be able to execute typical duties without those passcodes, without me being there. The company couldn’t mobilize with the trucks they had without the passcodes. What was the point of having the men show up? Even just for maintenance?
The narcissist on the team will be the nicest person on the team... they might be calling for this person to get fired, and this person that is annoyed knows it... or it could be the opposite... but only a ceo, who is familiar with narcissism is going to figure it out.