yep. Especially this young generation. There is severe disconnect that Im seeing in these young punks who think they're always right and that they never could do wrong and nothing is their fault. Worst of all. Dont seem to realize that nobody likes them and are just tolerated. And Im only 4-5 years apart from these idiots and they're fucking adults! yet I handle the problems and everything at my job better than they can while they just complain. Had this kid. I hate to call em a kid since he is 24 but he isnt mature nor mature looking. Doesnt seem to get the idea of what the job expects him to do. Is not on-task, stares uncomfortably. And then acts like he doesnt do anything wrong and complains. Worst of all. Tried to threaten violence upon me despite not realizing he isnt 6'4 and bulletproof. I do not know what world where anybody would find what he said to me as acceptable behaviour on how to do deal with any issue at the workplace. If you got a problem. Keep it to yourself and do your job. Some folks are just there to work and not play around. But he was irrational and didnt care. Just wanted me to go along with his B.S or else he gonna throw hands on me. It was a lose-lose for me.
I have often told my kids, if someone is acting out and hard to get along with, there is probably something in their life that you don’t know about. I have had to work with some nasty people and I just keep everything straight business, not sharing stories or personal information.
Good approach. But sometimes I think there is nothing in their life that's so bad - they're just horrible people. When I've had close family members dying, I never went to work and tried to be obnoxious to other people. You are 100% right about never sharing stories or personal info - they will ALWAYS repeat and twist it to others later.
@@goodyeoman4534yeah keep your cards close to your chest but sometimes they’ll start asking things about you to get information about you to use it against you or try to make you look stupid/bully you. Idk what to do in that situation because if somebody asked you “where do you live at?” How do you dodge the question without seeming like an asshole? You gotta keep in mind other peoples opinion of you, if you come on too strong or aggressive to the bully, others will see that and just think you’re being a dick when they don’t see the subtle mind games the bully is playing with you to torment you. Then when it comes down to it, those other people won’t have your back because they’ll say “well you were rude to this person here”
@@isolatedbutjacked7036 The more you say, the more they can twist. Yes, they can twist silence too, but with far less success. Plus, staying silent REALLY winds them up.
Nice way to live life buddy. Not at all a dull life with no funny and interesting interactions or discussions! Stop caring about what people think of you or what they make of your story. I get your point, but I think its a good quote not a way of life pal
Same. I was VP of a company and the owner enjoyed pitting one manager against the other, drama lover. I was #10 to resign in disgust after 30 months working there and 6 years into the company's existence. He has since fired senior manager #11 & #12. This is a small company of ~100 people. It is a joke. He was President of bigger companies (always had a boss himself), but left to his own devices he created a hellhole of yes men.
@sburns2421 i was in a shiddy fast food job where the store manager would not correct behavior so toxicity would escalate to crew violence and he would sit back and laugh about it. And i believe that the managerial crew would laugh at the videos in private.
No-one in this thread can be more right. I'll add this: admitting a problem exists opens the doors for THEIR bosses to question THEM, and exposes their backs to the knives of their juniors. Machiavelli would love the US corporate world
Dealing with nutty managers and co-workers is all part of the challenge of work. It takes tremendous discipline and maturity to deal with troubled people but it educates you emotionally.
@@randombutrelevantI buy this more than the “tolerate until you die” and “toughen up”approach stated by this op. My time isn’t worth dealing with shit like that.
@@user-yk1cw8im4h um... good luck in any environment that contains humans. They're all like this. Also, consider looking in the mirror. It's a difficult place too. And well worth the time.
I dealt with all sorts of coworkers at a job for over two decades. We all got along and were a team, end of story. Quality people. Then they hired actual emotionally disturbed people and gave them the ability to be free random. There is a point at which this shit don't fly.
Honeypot them, then exploit their weakness and poor judgement. Keep your distance from the BAIT, maintain your plausible deniability. You want to control them, not destroy your job or the company. EVERY narcissist has their kink, your job is to use it to trap them.
Laziest people need to find a better fit that sparks their real fuel. 6 months in, if they're only going downhill - time to go - life is short. Time to do the real work. Regardless of what they say, how's their attitude and energy most days? That's a hell of a lot more honest than the words.
Because they are managers, not leaders...Boeing is a perfect example of late; - in 28 years, I had one manager that was a leader, and he resigned his position after about a year and went back to being a worker. He then focused on being an adjunct professor part time until he earned a full time position and left the company.
The time spent to talk behind someone's back is the time not spend on doing tasks. So proper response is "Shut up and go back to your work !!!". There are only two options possible. Someone is really toxic and impossible to work with, or he is much better then others and is perceived as threat by others so they want him to get laid off. Management stuff simply do not even consider the second option out of convenient or ignorance. So they usually get rid of "troublesome" guy. The problem only occurs when the guy is irreplaceable ... I both situation, the worker who has time to talk behind his back, is not doing his job !
We need to teach our children how to handle toxic people and bullies in their youth. I told my son that the teacher, coach or student that grate on your nerves in school are still out in the real world when you become an adult.
I remember growing up in a small town. Gossipy as hell. My town was so small and judgey, we couldn't keep a priest. They'd leave as " drunks" not sure if they started that way or we made them drink...teachers were horrible to poorer kids. If the parents were considered poor, the kids didn't stand a chance. You learn early how work places work when when your teacher is throwing a book across the room and it slams against the wall above a kid's head and nothing happens.
My coworker is lazy. Constantly unmotivated. He’s depressed and lost right now and I am sick and tired of his shit. Makes every excuse in the book. “My dad died, lost my job of 12 years, got really sick, etc”. I wish this dude would get his shit together and man up. I work alone by the way…
I work alone most of the times and then depending on workload, theyll put someone there and im like " WHHHYYYY!" Send em' back!! Its areason their " floating!"
I work with a toxic asf lady... the best way to deal with her is to ignore her... stop responding to her emails etc... people are only in power for as long as you continue to subordinate yourself... as soon as you remove yourself from the situation the whole thing come crashing down like a house of cards
@@brandibrat226 Yup. I love how the person you responded to never had anything to say in response to this. And also, to the person you responded to, it doesn't always come crashing down like a house of cards, sometimes it just stays the same, other times it comes crashing down on you instead of them...
@@PhillyEaglesFanatic it always comes crashing down like a house of cards, your comment alone suggests you are probably one of the toxic asf people are having to work with that I am talking about.
Work related - yes - but anything else - no. And dont offer up any charity because you will simply be subscribing to their shit. My point was - if you are in a toxic relationship - leave , if you are in a dead end job with toxic people - leave (and maybe start a business?), if you are surrounded by negative people in a friendship group etc - leave. You will soon make friends. Going out on your own, standing on your own two feet and doing things yourself is the most liberating self-help thing you can do for yourself.
@@_____7704 "it always comes crashing down like a house of cards" Not always. Sometimes it does, but not always. You are making a very absolute, across the board statement as if it happens 100% of the time, without fail, in all situations. When it does come crashing down, it varies on who it comes crashing down on. "your comment alone suggests you are probably one of the toxic asf people are having to work with that I am talking" Seriously dude? What makes you say that? I have dealt with plenty of crappy and toxic behavior in the workplace, I just recently "escaped" from once such place. Slap full of toxic assholes. Hypocritical f**kers with fragile egos, the classic dish it out but can't take it, antagonistic pricks, and oppositional defiant traits in all but maybe one of them. Lol. I'm not a toxic coworker. Im also not a perfect coworker mind you. If I have any trait verging on toxic, it's complaining subtly or outright to my fellow coworkers about ridiculous bullshit from management because they are a disaster instead of just sucking it up and getting the work done.
I work for a small medical clinic, we all work together and get the job done. Our HR manager does not put up with a toxic person, she attempts to work things out…….but sometimes they simply need to go away.
I am now in a leadership role and have come to understand that it's not always about recruiting the most qualified but also about recruiting the right person. If your coworkers hate your guts after multiple jobs then the problem may be you.
I work for a boss who nit picks everything. I dread having conversations with them because it's always stupid pointless shit they want changed and then you have to go back to clients asking them for the stupid shit the boss wants and you're the one that has to deal with client attitudes because even you know you're asking them for dumb shit, but it's what the boss wants.
I really doubt everyone else is the problem. Probably you’re delusional. Or you have purposely made yourself irreplaceable (unpromotable). They have done studies that show psychopaths create chaos and appear to be the best because they thrive in their own shit.
Character assassination is a key tool of poor management. To single out certain workers as toxic is usually a tactic to delegitimize their valid issues, concerns, or grievances. Quite often, the most toxic people at jobs are the most outgoing, charismatic., and entertaining.
The 'problem guy' could be the only one doing the correct job. Like group projects in college... How many hard workers are reported as toxic for not playing the everyone was productive game?
There is a caveat to that. If the person gets beat under the same conditions or if the other person is doing so by going above and beyond what is expected. Like working nights and weekends, not taking any time off, etc. Like a business purposely taking a loss to undercut a competitor.
I know that know one gives a crap about some random strangers advice on the internet…but learn my advice here. Keep your coworkers close, but keep them coworkers. They don’t need to be your best friend, or know every personal detail in your life. Nor do you need to know their personal business. That’s the key to success in the workplace. It’s a balance.
Thismis too abs9lute. 80% of people meet their romantic partner at work! Forbes and BRW iterated studies. Many demanding jobs have so few down hours, that your colleagues are all you see. You have to use discernment and judgement in all cases but this absolute rule is too limited. At Burger King maybe, but in a law firm, finance or academic, it won’t work.
Ego is the bane of humanity; a false self to cover up the true (vulnerable) self. I guarantee you there is something going on in this person's life. In my humble opinion, the council conversations are the best approach to help this person help himself -that's team work. Allow this guy the choice to reset and come back in a better individual. And if he won't take the carrot then apply the stick. Remember, other employees are watching this scenario and will interpret whatever implicit/explicit message upper management's actions show. Great topic!
All companies need to have the employees rate and evaluate their supervisors which always brings those egos down and shows if the work team is behind them and working for them not against each other. Trust me supervisors have been the cause of loosing really good employees. Don't let a bad supervisor run your company name down so nobody wants to work there... this yearly evaluation really is an eye opener for companies
If you have time, your advice is rock solid. If not… If your product is software and if you have a hard deadline to build it and if the toxic employee is indispensable, then you have to ask yourself “what is the objective?”. If the objective is a social experiment, then take all the time in the world and fix your employee. If your objective is to build quality software on time, then tighten your chin strap. You’re too late to send your toxic, but valuable employee home and Mr. Toxic doesn’t have time to train his replacement. There comes a point in software projects where throwing more people at the problem will not help and taking away a key player, albeit toxic, can’t help either. Talk to Mr. Toxic. If that helps, problem solved. Otherwise, get this iteration of software development behind you and replace Mr. Toxic at the beginning of the next production cycle. The sun will come out, birds will sing and the entire culture of the team will improve.
Never ceases to amaze me that these videos come up just when I need them. Helps reassure and guide my approach to situations that come up. Keep up the good work, it’s appreciated.
I am! Traditional mindset: Like our James Grant did as We too since the day he was knighted to then be appointed as the 1st Sheriff of their 2 separate GRANT Counties in the Highlands appointed🗡️,no shield 🛡️ or armor. Just Highland Sheriff going it alone, every day. Now overnight, in hopes of helping those at greatest time of THEIR need I was conceived to full fill the family line that one day was started a legacy in Strathspey of 1206. An oath, Also know today as “Protect and Serve”….( All others before one’s self & never back down but, “Stand Fast!” -King and Chieftain of Clan Grant. 0:22 🏴 (* and , yes today we still go out with little to no sense of Self Preservation nor the mental capacity to retreat. I still Patrol 3 areas solo from 22:00 - 07:00 those hours the other 3 PDs are On Call overnights + me. ( Would be nice to have a K9 along 🐕🦺❤)
I've seen alpt of people in tenure positions actually sabotage new good employees because they saw them as a threat. It's a sad, and a very too often occurrence.
Yes, this could be the issue i have with a coworker… it seems to me that she want to do it all. She’s really looking to get as much power in the business that she can. In fact, it’s exactly what’s what they say is happening… she’s not easily replaceable! So she comes away with her big ego, toxic behavior…. I had a fight with her about her way she treats me and went to the management. They told me they know her behavior but because she’s running the show, she just can do whatever she want’s to so to speak… although I admire her hard work but I can’t stand it that I’m the one who gets het toxic side… I’m actually really observant and I noticed that she acts friendly towards other coworkers and clients. But i get a lot of crap from her.
I'm dealing with a new 28 year old supervisor who thinks she has the 'supervisor privilege' literally taking advantage of her job (texting/personal phone calls constanly, sitting at her desk doing nothing) - Im 40 &I know exactly what I am doing on my job, but something is not right with her. idk...
There's also a situation that people are looking like they're becoming toxic because they're getting very frustrated with the lack of cooperation, communication, and follow through from their co-workers and their management. It's best to talk with management see if there can actually be any solutions, but too often management says hey let's just check back in a couple months and nothing really changes. In my opinion the best thing to do in that situation if nobody is listening to any kind of good sets then just leave that company. Don't tolerate it. Let them fail, and let them regret not working with you!
Contrary to popular belief, management can't actually affect change on a grassroots level. Much that we would like to see them perform in this way The job of a manager is to respond to crisis or effectively handle complaints against the brand. They aren't equipped to be interpersonal or even to have influence. This is why I don't address personal concerns. Just let it ride until it becomes a pressing matter that leadership absolutely have to address in the way only they can It isn't in their brain structure to reroute misunderstandings. The best you could hope for is exactly as you said, check back in a couple months. This is because the issue of poor communication has to be on the docket and resemble company wide change, otherwise it doesn't fall into the wheel house of concern This is why it's on you to bring it to attention as an initiative. Again, their role is to spot check topical concerns. A disgruntled customer, a blown over sign, excessive toilet paper use Their measure of control is to make monument of what they put their hands to when it comes time for a reckoning. It probably goes back to old hunter gatherer methods of rewards for valor. Letting the whole tribe see what initiative looks like. They get a surge of chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin for their troubles. A bit more autonomy and maybe a larger helping of the game for that evening If you are struggling to maintain communication, this is because your ambition runs contrary to that effect. The chief is really looking for ways to strengthen his own resolve and wants to motivate his tribe to seek out solutions and ideas to that end. If you're not driving deep and padding out the big score in spite of routine challenges, it doesn't net him any more progress toward reassurance. Go and do 85 burpees, etc This is disappointing because excessive sharpening actually makes the instrument blunt. You would hope that a team leader would have some interest in teaching a man to fish. Instilling core values and bonding techniques. Good communication isn't about favoritism, it's about keeping synergy in the line and preparedness for when the stakes bring pressure Most leadership is focused on keeping the company lean. Motivating it's members by challenging their ego. Obviously people are going to be enthusiastic about scoring more money. All I'm saying is that manhood should involve significant bonds between you and your fellow man. In addition to keeping the core ethics of what it would be like to assume responsibility when it becomes your time. You're going to have to be around other people in pursuit of that aim. But what's most important is what kind of enabling factors remain once the chief is gone. Will the core maintain or will they fall apart and tear at each other's throats the moment he leaves?
“Empire building” is what making yourself invaluable at work is known as I believe. It happens on a blue collar level too, locking up necessary tools in their toolbox for example.
I will never forget being told by my father i was fired from a job because i made the crew i was hired on to work for look bad by working circles around them(i was taught to work until its done right) I believe a rake is better then an air blower for a lawn, i dont spread deicer in front of doorways so it can be tracked all over the insides of businesses, this kind of logic has made me persona non grata to those whom see that as a threat instead of an ally. Breaks my heart too cause theres nothing more satisfying then going to a jobsite and making it better then when ya got there man! I guess im just built diff being raised by a korean war vet
I had this happen to me when I began as a CNA. I worked circles around my coworkers, thinking I was doing what I was supposed to be doing and doing it because it was important and caring about the residents needs. Little did I know this would cause me to become targeted and disliked by my coworkers. So much so that I began to hate coming into work and confused to why I was having all this trouble with coworkers when I simply showed up and did my job to the best of my ability each day. Then I found that this was the case in every healthcare scenario I worked in. The healthcare industry is only in business to make money. In no way does caring for and treating a patients needs enter the top priority for healthcare in this country. And additionally, I've concluded that you have to be heartless and have a gossipy, clique-forming, high school girls type of attitude to fit in and last.
@@gangstadrz9326 Government, too. Government jobs tend to attract uncompetitive men, who all just want to keep sucking on the taxpayers teet until they retire so they can still suck on it some more. Whining about how offended someone is, is just a form of soft bullying. The thing about having a command voice is that it evokes action, something most prior service military and police understand but is deemed offensive by the weak. Same thing with throwing the bell curve in elementary school. You throw the bell curve for all the normal and slow kids, you're gonna get hated. Probably even by the teacher as well.
I do the same and the predictable reaction of people who didn't do it before is "overachiever". When the workplace is better than it was before I showed up, that is proof I'm valuable and I know it. Only lazy people who got away with skirting under the radar see it as a threat. Notice how this situation coensides with low pay/ zero upward mobility.
When one feels irreplaceable then resentment due to the stress of the position. Once the feeling of irreplaceability goes away then the feeling of needing/wanting to contribute more naturally comes back
I wish I had read Jocko's books 6 years ago so I could of handled my self better went I had to deal with lazy, manipulative, toxic coworkers, but at least now....I have no coworkers. I still work, but only have me and my boss to deal with. My son bought several of Jocko's books about 4 years ago and it changed his life!
The team still has to succeed, no matter who is the coach, director, or leader. Decentralized Command is the only way to prepare for an unforeseen departure.
I just got canned from a toxic tech company about the same size as your example. They let me go for lack of sales right after my quarterly review where they said everything was great, keep it up. They were being acquired and also told me to put a hold on sales, so the entire thing made no sense. On top of that the COO, CEO and HR Manager all started crying on the Zoom call with me. People are so weird, why couldn't they just admit they had been acquired and the new leadership didn't like me? I was a manager so I knew we had a 3 strike policy as well as performance improvement plan as part of our process as I had used them on staff I had managed. I was like where are my 3 strikes?
When some doors close, others open. Be ready for the next opportunity. But take the time to analyze why the new leadership didn't like you. What could you have done to improve your relationship with your leadership? Take the lessons learned from this experience and apply them going forward.
@leifbabin1512 this is the hardest thing to accept about the philosophy your company promotes- learning that just because something bad happened to you (getting fired), it doesn't mean it was your fault, but you can always learn and grow from an experience and do something about it. Which is difficult to hear (for me personally, at least) because I have often preferred to just be pissed and sad in non-productive ways instead of acting
Sometimes people have narcissism and other toxic personalities. Also, some folks want their people to be in their new company. Not folks they don't know. Many reasons. I would try to just move on. Folks are particular in the business world and its hard to change mindsets.
I can tell you why they lied. They dont want to admit to employment security that they had no valid reason, so they make something up and hope you dont file for unemployment and dispute their bullshit. I got fired 1 day after giving notice for family medical leave, no reason given. Spoke to HR and they admitted it was unethical and against the law. Sued and all management involved were fired. They are better off making up some bullshit excuse.
I feel I've become a bit toxic myself. I really try hard not to let things people do to bother me but i find myself overreacting to things that annoys me. I have just gotten over a chronic illness and my body and mind aren't the same as they used to be. Now I've hurt my back at work and i think i may need a surgery and of course my work is trying to avoid it by going through physio and rehab but it's ongoing. There are also people who are on limited duties due to age or injury and i feel i have to cover those people and i don't believe it's my problem they can't do their work properly. On top of this i have a 2 year old who has autism (suspected) and a 6 month old who has had bad reflux and has been very difficult. I really feel i need to move on because that's not who i see myself as or it's not the person i want yo be. I sometimes walk into work and see some of my coworkers and i get a feeling of dread and my stomach actually does laps. When the particular people don't show up i feel much better. Sorry for ranting i needed to get it off my chest. I'm trying to sort out my feelings.
Toxicity from others has taught me the importance of not reacting. If it’s not them today, it’ll be someone else tomorrow. Sometimes I take it personally, a lot of times I don’t understand what’s being said, but I can usually hear the intent. Hurt people hurt people. It’s not my job to figure out why. All I can control is how I behave. What other people do or why they do it isn’t my problem.
This advice is very startup specific. Ideal corporation runs as Dave says, average corporation (middle 87.5%) are training a replacement to keep wages down. In a large corporation, you are at war for resources with other departments and having someone who knows how to do a mission critical task and is the only one who can do that is a game changer for that dynamic. It accrues more budget, more headcount, and greater political power in the long run. A leader recognizes these highly competent individual contributors, gathers them as they can, and protects all of the other personnel they are responsible for by leveraging that political power to avoid layoffs for their team.
I have started and sold a few small companies, every one can be replaced. Upper management should realize that top notch people are probably more important than the CEO, COO.
I think this happens a lot in tech folks. They've had to fight to prove themselves to gain any footing. The competition to be in that position is FIERCE. Once they make it, they can't turn it off, they're always going to be trying to prove themselves. (And probably quietly eliminating competition) so they will be in the position of being irreplicable. It really isn't something they can stop. It comes off as ego, but it's really masked insecurity. Like many things in life.
This is an incredible video, but i hate how common an unchecked ego can ruin what should be a well oiled machine. I actually just quit my job today because of a extremley toxic manager, and the managers above him refusing to do anything about it because he's basically irreplaceable. I had asked the general manager 2 weeks ago to have a converstation with the 2 toxic people everyone was frustrated with. I even told him that my recent unexcused calloffs had been because I couldnt convince myself to go in and experience the same toxicity day after day. The manager did nothing about it for 2 weeks, and when i followed up with him.about it, he said he had gotten busy putting a spreadsheet together and hadnt talked to them yet. Quit without notice a couple days later (today), and called the manager out on his inaction. He had no defense.
It doesn't matter how talented a toxic person is. The havoc they wreak on the team and the organization is unacceptable. Look at how much time and effort is being considered just to get this person back in line. In the mean time they're continuing to poison everything they touch.
I think pulling someone aside, saying i want so-and-so trained up and to take lead is a bad idea. I've seen this happen- the SME will think something is up. Not only will they not adequately train the other guy, chances are they'll think the writing is on the wall, and they'll cut their losses and go somewhere else with no backup.
Maybe it's just me but I was asked at one point a few years ago if I was training anyone to do the things that I could do and I said "isn't that how you get replaced?" and my boss said, "no, that"s how you get promoted" Since that short conversation I still work for the same company and I've been promoted 3 times.
It’s a primary responsibility of doing a job to ensure that job can get done without you. If you are in an organization where people are holding power by holding knowledge or some other trickery, start looking for a new team. If you aren’t on the inside of the scam, you will get cheated until you get ejected.
Many exceptions, of course. There's a bunch of backend programmers fresh off college and a full stack greybeard on the team. What is he supposed to do, take 10+ years of his life to teach them what he has learned, much of which may well rely on logical/mathematical/analytical talent that cannot actually be taught?@@nunyabidness3075
I have been the person on the other end who has a considerable amount of knowledge and there have been two businesses that have failed after I left them. There were people that felt I was difficult, and I was, I had to be, in a position like CTO or CISO, if you fail compliance or planning compliance people go to jail, lives are ruined, companies fold. In a small company anyone who is doing their job well is irreplaceable. There were plenty of people that if you let them go the company would be in jeopardy. From my perspective the people who complained about that couldn't take over the job I did, were threatened by the level of expertise, and/or generally trying to manipulate for power. When I left one of the companies, I provided them with everything they needed to replace my functions if the next person was willing to put in the same hours, I left volumes of documentation, automated systems, I tried to always work to the goal of being able to pass my job to someone else, because you can't advance if you don't.
From a cofounder CTO, the organizational chart review is always a good way to put a CTO in place. Typically in larger companies, the CTO can be in the second or third lower tier of the C-suite below the COO and CEO. Egos and insecurities are the worst on leadership teams. For example, a weak-minded divide-and-conquer CEO will kill the company.
It’s so many assumptions around people who are truly gifted and talented. If someone comes off “irreplaceable,” I believe the person perceiving has the ego problem and needs to self reflect.
As a mechanic, I've dealt with team players. I call them, the union. And in the union, you're allowed to make massive mistakes. Sometimes, the type of mistakes that put people's lives in danger. Or create economic oppression, at a massive scale. Just show up to work with a hangover, and do the best you can..... With a hangover..... Don't worry...... If you get caught being drunk on the job..... The union will protect you. Over the last 30 years I have spent 85% of my career, fixing, their collective mistakes. Management comes to me and says..... Mr mckinnon.... We want you to be a team leader. I said..... No. I can't afford to take that kind of cut in pay.
Sounds like a perfect example of humans saying "we dont like you but we can use you and lie about you to steal your work." Oh the ol Oppenheimer special. Nikkola Tesla special. The list goes on and on.
You need to be careful with the narcissists too, sometimes it will be one of those people, at the beginning they are all nice and resourceful and stuff and once they get to a position in power like being the only one who can run something or to be at the top of the ladder they show the true personality, the book Dangerous personalities may be a good pairing for this piece of advice
This perfectly outlines what the military did to me lol my last job, I constantly tried to make sure others on the team had gouge defining what I was working on for the “bus” factor. My boss would always correct me and say “the lottery factor”. If your military training was done right, you shouldn’t ever want to be the only person who can do something because there’s a mission and a team tasked with that mission, not one person….civilians get tremendously confused by NOT wanting “job security”.
Identify the behavior, address the behavior directly, with concern and respect. Allow the person the avenue to explain themselves or vent. Finally, Communicate what needs to be corrected and give the person the ultimatum as to how the behavior needs to change.
I'd had the best and the absolute worst bosses at this one company. After many years working there, the worst boss was so toxic that I finally decided to quit. I never figured out why, but he hated me. He seemed friendly at first, but then I started hearing about 'things that weren't out in the open' about him. I tried so hard to move to different departments. He always did things to stop me from being able to move. He kept me there in that miserable situation (at the peak of the housing crisis). I was trapped.
You can’t manage all people the same way. Different personality types have different motivation, quirks, and strengths. It takes all those differences to have a successful team if they are managed appropriately. I once used the analogy of the Navy’s carrier battle group to understand how people function on a team. Understand and utilize the differences to your advantage as a manager and keep everyone on course.
I had a Warrant Officer in my section who was nothing but toxic, but he did have the technical knowledge that it was necessary to keep him around. Guy couldn't even stand laughing in the section and would tell people to stop.
I would take the approach to foster a program with them to explain to them that we need to start a documentation backend that describes operational, procedural, etc., etc. processes that other people could follow. Exactly from a risk management perspective, there should be nothing bad about this approach nor confrontational. This approach also allows you to not have difficult conversations or overstep any boundaries that could offend them.
There is no "checking the ego" with a toxic narcissist. They rule using fear and you can not win, only distance yourself to protect yourself. Sadly where I work we are so top-heavy with EGO, that no one is safe. Such a hostile place. Employees have "learned helplessness" and just give up.
Ive worked in and around Construction and a few good people but a lot of egos and toxic masculinity who refuse to pass knowledge and have some sort of nepotism to the boss. This doesnt start and end with construction as many companies are toxic hell holes soul suckers. My advice is if your working around negativity then look for jobs with less interaction with co workers. Ive done crew style work and felt annoyed paired with all kinds of personalities.
@@tetedur377I'd say men are worse... You kinda expect women to be catty but the amount of bitchassness in so many of the men these days makes your blood boil.
3:25 escalation of counseling3:45 concern 5:00 5:35 big ego guy 6:45 See the risks where ur exposed 10:00 write em up then fire em, timeline 11:00 ego 12:00 train his replacement 13:30 15:00 taking his job
A problem that Jocko has here is a sense of infallibility of leadership. “I’m the COO; therefore I’m in charge.” The problem with ego is usually not the person displaying something toxic; it’s usually a reaction to something very malignant in the structure.
This scenario is true for micromanagers. It's clear that the solution is a top-down approach. The problem happens is if the leaders do not want to take action on not having bottlenecks.
As an operations manager, I've learned over the years that I take all of the blame, and none of gain. That means I'm the the barrier between my men and upper management. This simply means that whatever happens, it is never, ever, because of what my men do. I imagine it's the same for the military.
And shouldering that blame with humility is what earns you the respect of your peers and your team. That sort of respect is hard to come by, and deeply undervalued in today’s cutthroat corporate environments.
I teach and work with teens in education. I tell them daily school is not just for maths, English, science etc, it's a place you can on the whole be safely educated in dealing with people you like, dislike, trust, don't trust. This prepares you for life after education
It depends on what they "bring to the table"...so to speak. If there is an employee/associate/supervisor who can work their assigned duties, create a functional/positive work environment/atmosphere, retain employees, and is trustworthy, that is GOLD.
That step one “is everything okay?” Is so important. Because of that approach, our team learned that one worker wasn’t blowing things off; she was dealing with a medical situation that compromised her memory. Solution: we collaborated on productivity tools to help her stay organized. We learned that another was acting out of character due to a near death in his family. Solution: we offered an open door for him to accept any reasonable support he needed from us, which alone softened his approach, and we cut him a little slack while he regrouped. Soon he was back to himself as mvp for our team. Guess what? He did the same for others when they were going through a personal emergency. Sure, not everyone will respond favorably to that step, but that’s what the later escalation steps are for. (The later being something I could use more practice in).
Sometimes the organization can be better served by giving know-it-alls more to do, and disguise it as responsibility 😊😊😊. They usually just need to feel important.
This is great from a leadership perspective, but if you’re a subordinate dealing with a toxic team member there feels like little to nothing to do. Leaders/ supervisors need to be able to have the balls to deal with the issues, and the intuition to see them. It feels like those qualities are few and far between in modern supervision.
Like it or not, there will always be people who can't easily be replaced. Those people are the ones who shine way way brighter than the norm for many reasons. Just having boots to fill that hole doesn't repair the hole beneath those boots.
Love this discussion. Top notch, on all counts and scenarios. I particularly like the ending sentiment, and the layer regarding single points of failure and the use of the phrase “what if they ‘get hit by a bus’?” - use it all the time lol.
I would even say that making sure you know how to council. its important because at the end of the day as a leader you are there to influence people to willingly follow you. Key work, “Willingly”.
"escalation of counseling" requires some degree of authority (and leadership obviously)... but without the authority, it's hard to reign in an ego problem. often boomers in the e-suite like to delegate responsibility, but don't delegate the corresponding authority. makes it hard to manage in these kinds of circumstances.
Needed this, this town is infested with this, can’t wait for breaks, constantly whines about work load at work, lives for the weekend and drags ass at work. One person after another is trying to out do the other and when they notice something, instead of getting involved or teaching, they just escalate the problem to the next person or group. They prefer people who don’t care about the job yet keep them around because they are told to care. I’m all for following a good leader but when my coworkers are both lifting me up and throwing me away, I toss up my hands and quit because the group failed
Been working 40 years. I always bail out ASAP of toxic jobs. Done it about 4 times. Always found better jobs. Sometimes I politely mentioned I was looking for a better job that had a better work environment that suited me. Bad people need to be left alone and left behind.
im having these issues with a manager (as a supervisor / lower management) he attacks ppl one on one but is fairly ok in group situations. he only ever comes to me with negativity and criticism, and hes the only one that does it. But not only me but everyone he talks too. He also doesnt care about stuff unless it effects him directly, or feels that it does. Based on my position and that im asked to continue carrying out those duties, i cant believe that all im worthy of is criticism. everyone else thinks i do my job well, even other parties outside of our company. about to have a meeting with the CoO next week
Might feel good but sure as shoot ain’t the way. Otherwise that’s how every conflict would be approached. But I understand the feeling though. Sure can relate 😅
We had our top salesman who is the older brother of my business partner abruptly left our organization because felt deceived and he his thoughts about situations were right without clarity. He’s a great person and means well But mismanages his emotions that have a detrimental impact. Making money is great and solves many problems but the destruction of relationships and proximity can be heavier on your conscious than having your toe ran over by a car. Though I can have victim coated perception, the garden of opportunity is ready for a fresh new start. Abundantly greatful
I can relate as the guy with the ego. I feel I need to progress in my job. My supervisor gave me someone to train, but constantly pulls him away to do menial bs tasks, so I am still left as the only one in my role. I have been passed up three times for promotion because I am the only one trained to do what I do and I simply want to transfer to a different dept
People are often too liberal when branding others toxic. We often brand them as toxic because they’re not going along with MY program. They’re not doing what I want them or need them to do so I can feel ok. It’s easier to point the finger at somebody else and cast them aside than to look at my part and understand whether or not I am being a control freak as a result of my unhealthy emotional dependency. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me. I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. So I have to be very mindful and practice rigorous acceptance.
This is a good outlook. Toxic workplaces certainly exist, but the term is often jumped to, too quickly. Putting yourself in that mindset can make it self-fulfilling.
I have met quite a few toxic individuals in the workplace. And from my experience it never improves. This is because people are what they are. I have tried every technique, and some of them will work for a while. Then a week or two later, you are back to square one with them! One of the problems is and this one is what managers and leaders do. Is they are aware of the toxic individual, and this is whether you have mentioned them or not. And the toxic individuals leader usually take the easy lazy option and they don't do anything about the problems that this one person can cause. This of course compounds your own disappointment and frustration. And with that you may decide to take another job. Or you can do the formal complaint thing. Bottom line is, it never ends well with ignorant toxic coworkers!
This is a very complicated topic, the parameters for the evaluation of this topic set up in this particular example.. reflect only a very very small portion of the possible circumstances... it is a very good and valid observation, for the health of not only a community, but the community, nation, and worlds industrial viability. Again... the particular parameters set up in this example, are only a very small example, of a very large body of possibilities which may exhibit similar symptoms. Not an easy topic to handle in many cases... if you find the reason for the symptoms are that guys dependence on imported, or cheap labor, or if he is dependent on another example who is effectively irreplacable, and stressed due to that... you can fire and replace fifteen of those toxic guys and never get over the problem.
This dismisses the immaturity that exists in the workplace and how many levels of deception are always at play.
yep. Especially this young generation. There is severe disconnect that Im seeing in these young punks who think they're always right and that they never could do wrong and nothing is their fault. Worst of all. Dont seem to realize that nobody likes them and are just tolerated.
And Im only 4-5 years apart from these idiots and they're fucking adults! yet I handle the problems and everything at my job better than they can while they just complain.
Had this kid. I hate to call em a kid since he is 24 but he isnt mature nor mature looking. Doesnt seem to get the idea of what the job expects him to do. Is not on-task, stares uncomfortably. And then acts like he doesnt do anything wrong and complains.
Worst of all. Tried to threaten violence upon me despite not realizing he isnt 6'4 and bulletproof. I do not know what world where anybody would find what he said to me as acceptable behaviour on how to do deal with any issue at the workplace. If you got a problem. Keep it to yourself and do your job. Some folks are just there to work and not play around. But he was irrational and didnt care. Just wanted me to go along with his B.S or else he gonna throw hands on me. It was a lose-lose for me.
I have often told my kids, if someone is acting out and hard to get along with, there is probably something in their life that you don’t know about. I have had to work with some nasty people and I just keep everything straight business, not sharing stories or personal information.
Good approach. But sometimes I think there is nothing in their life that's so bad - they're just horrible people. When I've had close family members dying, I never went to work and tried to be obnoxious to other people. You are 100% right about never sharing stories or personal info - they will ALWAYS repeat and twist it to others later.
@@goodyeoman4534yeah keep your cards close to your chest but sometimes they’ll start asking things about you to get information about you to use it against you or try to make you look stupid/bully you. Idk what to do in that situation because if somebody asked you “where do you live at?” How do you dodge the question without seeming like an asshole?
You gotta keep in mind other peoples opinion of you, if you come on too strong or aggressive to the bully, others will see that and just think you’re being a dick when they don’t see the subtle mind games the bully is playing with you to torment you.
Then when it comes down to it, those other people won’t have your back because they’ll say “well you were rude to this person here”
I agree with you 100 percent. Some people just need to get laid more often as well! That’s putting it bluntly but it’s the truth.
@@isolatedbutjacked7036 The more you say, the more they can twist. Yes, they can twist silence too, but with far less success. Plus, staying silent REALLY winds them up.
Nice way to live life buddy.
Not at all a dull life with no funny and interesting interactions or discussions!
Stop caring about what people think of you or what they make of your story.
I get your point, but I think its a good quote not a way of life pal
I worked for a company where people on all levels were toxic. I moved on, this company wasn’t worthy of my efforts and talent.
What company?
Same
@te9591 CDW
Same. I was VP of a company and the owner enjoyed pitting one manager against the other, drama lover. I was #10 to resign in disgust after 30 months working there and 6 years into the company's existence. He has since fired senior manager #11 & #12. This is a small company of ~100 people. It is a joke. He was President of bigger companies (always had a boss himself), but left to his own devices he created a hellhole of yes men.
@sburns2421 i was in a shiddy fast food job where the store manager would not correct behavior so toxicity would escalate to crew violence and he would sit back and laugh about it. And i believe that the managerial crew would laugh at the videos in private.
My experience is that bad management always covers for their bad managers and team leads. They do not want to solve the issues.
100%
People in managerial positions are terrified to admit mistakes or wrongdoing because it will lead to being undermined.
No-one in this thread can be more right. I'll add this: admitting a problem exists opens the doors for THEIR bosses to question THEM, and exposes their backs to the knives of their juniors. Machiavelli would love the US corporate world
They will fail;
Even Spotify,
even Uber- had ineffectual leadership that was the driving force behind,
then became the Egomaniac.
This.
Dealing with nutty managers and co-workers is all part of the challenge of work. It takes tremendous discipline and maturity to deal with troubled people but it educates you emotionally.
This
@@randombutrelevantI buy this more than the “tolerate until you die” and “toughen up”approach stated by this op. My time isn’t worth dealing with shit like that.
@user-yk1cw8im4h what did he say?
@@user-yk1cw8im4h um... good luck in any environment that contains humans. They're all like this. Also, consider looking in the mirror. It's a difficult place too. And well worth the time.
I dealt with all sorts of coworkers at a job for over two decades. We all got along and were a team, end of story. Quality people. Then they hired actual emotionally disturbed people and gave them the ability to be free random. There is a point at which this shit don't fly.
Everyone is useful, no one is necessary. Stay humble.
Anybody. Everybody. Is replaceable at workplace
Both of your statements are true.
Narcissistic bosses are the worst to deal with.
100%. There is no reconciliation with a narc boss.
and even if there was reconciliation, its always going to be YOU admitting YOU failed THEM. LOL
@@acangial1
@@slonktonkster9680never break, racist narcs are the worst.never ending torment, their such a drag living in the past, everyday.
Honeypot them, then exploit their weakness and poor judgement. Keep your distance from the BAIT, maintain your plausible deniability. You want to control them, not destroy your job or the company. EVERY narcissist has their kink, your job is to use it to trap them.
@1101agaoj how do you honeypot someone. Could you help point me in the right direction of the honeypot
From my experience the laziest people are the most toxic
100%
Read as *most broken* from this discussion.
Amen!
The best leader is constantly training their replacement
Laziest people need to find a better fit that sparks their real fuel. 6 months in, if they're only going downhill - time to go - life is short. Time to do the real work.
Regardless of what they say, how's their attitude and energy most days? That's a hell of a lot more honest than the words.
Cemeteries are full of indispensable people!
Hats off to the CEO for recognizing the problem, so many managers shrug their shoulders when this occurs.
Because they are managers, not leaders...Boeing is a perfect example of late; - in 28 years, I had one manager that was a leader, and he resigned his position after about a year and went back to being a worker. He then focused on being an adjunct professor part time until he earned a full time position and left the company.
Ego is kept in check by strong leadership period. You do not get paid to come to work and dislike others.
What if the other person is only a dick when the leader is not around?
I dont get paid to like em either
I can dislike anyone I want without them knowing and if your not pulling your weight I definitely won't like you.
@MajikalCowpoke At minimum it should be neutral. Stress is a business and life killer
The time spent to talk behind someone's back is the time not spend on doing tasks. So proper response is "Shut up and go back to your work !!!".
There are only two options possible. Someone is really toxic and impossible to work with, or he is much better then others and is perceived as threat by others so they want him to get laid off.
Management stuff simply do not even consider the second option out of convenient or ignorance. So they usually get rid of "troublesome" guy. The problem only occurs when the guy is irreplaceable ...
I both situation, the worker who has time to talk behind his back, is not doing his job !
We need to teach our children how to handle toxic people and bullies in their youth. I told my son that the teacher, coach or student that grate on your nerves in school are still out in the real world when you become an adult.
I remember growing up in a small town. Gossipy as hell. My town was so small and judgey, we couldn't keep a priest. They'd leave as " drunks" not sure if they started that way or we made them drink...teachers were horrible to poorer kids. If the parents were considered poor, the kids didn't stand a chance. You learn early how work places work when when your teacher is throwing a book across the room and it slams against the wall above a kid's head and nothing happens.
@@deniseelalala85no one “makes” someone drink. That’s a personal choice on how to handle their stress.
My coworker is lazy. Constantly unmotivated. He’s depressed and lost right now and I am sick and tired of his shit. Makes every excuse in the book. “My dad died, lost my job of 12 years, got really sick, etc”. I wish this dude would get his shit together and man up. I work alone by the way…
😆
I work alone most of the times and then depending on workload, theyll put someone there and im like " WHHHYYYY!" Send em' back!! Its areason their " floating!"
I work with a toxic asf lady... the best way to deal with her is to ignore her... stop responding to her emails etc... people are only in power for as long as you continue to subordinate yourself... as soon as you remove yourself from the situation the whole thing come crashing down like a house of cards
@@brandibrat226 Yup. I love how the person you responded to never had anything to say in response to this. And also, to the person you responded to, it doesn't always come crashing down like a house of cards, sometimes it just stays the same, other times it comes crashing down on you instead of them...
@@PhillyEaglesFanatic it always comes crashing down like a house of cards, your comment alone suggests you are probably one of the toxic asf people are having to work with that I am talking about.
Work related - yes - but anything else - no. And dont offer up any charity because you will simply be subscribing to their shit. My point was - if you are in a toxic relationship - leave , if you are in a dead end job with toxic people - leave (and maybe start a business?), if you are surrounded by negative people in a friendship group etc - leave. You will soon make friends. Going out on your own, standing on your own two feet and doing things yourself is the most liberating self-help thing you can do for yourself.
@@_____7704 "it always comes crashing down like a house of cards" Not always. Sometimes it does, but not always. You are making a very absolute, across the board statement as if it happens 100% of the time, without fail, in all situations. When it does come crashing down, it varies on who it comes crashing down on.
"your comment alone suggests you are probably one of the toxic asf people are having to work with that I am talking" Seriously dude? What makes you say that? I have dealt with plenty of crappy and toxic behavior in the workplace, I just recently "escaped" from once such place. Slap full of toxic assholes. Hypocritical f**kers with fragile egos, the classic dish it out but can't take it, antagonistic pricks, and oppositional defiant traits in all but maybe one of them. Lol.
I'm not a toxic coworker. Im also not a perfect coworker mind you.
If I have any trait verging on toxic, it's complaining subtly or outright to my fellow coworkers about ridiculous bullshit from management because they are a disaster instead of just sucking it up and getting the work done.
@@_____7704 Still waiting for a response from you on my last comment above from 17 hours ago.
I work for a small medical clinic, we all work together and get the job done. Our HR manager does not put up with a toxic person, she attempts to work things out…….but sometimes they simply need to go away.
I am now in a leadership role and have come to understand that it's not always about recruiting the most qualified but also about recruiting the right person. If your coworkers hate your guts after multiple jobs then the problem may be you.
I work for a boss who nit picks everything. I dread having conversations with them because it's always stupid pointless shit they want changed and then you have to go back to clients asking them for the stupid shit the boss wants and you're the one that has to deal with client attitudes because even you know you're asking them for dumb shit, but it's what the boss wants.
That boss wants changes that interface clients? They are either trying to sabotage you OR they’re just so toxic and dumb that you should run. Run.
@@dadigitechmanmostly should be. Within reason.
Hate to be the bad guy but... sometimes everyone else is actually the problem. It is possible that the "problem guy" is actually surrounded by idiots.
100 percent. Especially in tech and engineering
I really doubt everyone else is the problem. Probably you’re delusional. Or you have purposely made yourself irreplaceable (unpromotable).
They have done studies that show psychopaths create chaos and appear to be the best because they thrive in their own shit.
Character assassination is a key tool of poor management. To single out certain workers as toxic is usually a tactic to delegitimize their valid issues, concerns, or grievances. Quite often, the most toxic people at jobs are the most outgoing, charismatic., and entertaining.
Spoken like a true toxic guy lol just kidding your right it can be
The 'problem guy' could be the only one doing the correct job. Like group projects in college... How many hard workers are reported as toxic for not playing the everyone was productive game?
15:30. “If they beat me, and I fail, good on them.” This is a rare type of honor, and it stems from ownership.
We either win or we learn. Either is GOOD.
That is a Moronic quote.
There is a caveat to that. If the person gets beat under the same conditions or if the other person is doing so by going above and beyond what is expected. Like working nights and weekends, not taking any time off, etc. Like a business purposely taking a loss to undercut a competitor.
EchelonFront not every has to be a lesson. Sometimes you just fail at life.
@@lolwtnick4362lessons can always be learned from failure…
I know that know one gives a crap about some random strangers advice on the internet…but learn my advice here. Keep your coworkers close, but keep them coworkers. They don’t need to be your best friend, or know every personal detail in your life. Nor do you need to know their personal business.
That’s the key to success in the workplace. It’s a balance.
Thismis too abs9lute. 80% of people meet their romantic partner at work! Forbes and BRW iterated studies. Many demanding jobs have so few down hours, that your colleagues are all you see. You have to use discernment and judgement in all cases but this absolute rule is too limited. At Burger King maybe, but in a law firm, finance or academic, it won’t work.
Ego is the bane of humanity; a false self to cover up the true (vulnerable) self. I guarantee you there is something going on in this person's life. In my humble opinion, the council conversations are the best approach to help this person help himself -that's team work. Allow this guy the choice to reset and come back in a better individual. And if he won't take the carrot then apply the stick. Remember, other employees are watching this scenario and will interpret whatever implicit/explicit message upper management's actions show. Great topic!
Leadership is about being insightful and having the courage to confront all challenges with immediacy.
All companies need to have the employees rate and evaluate their supervisors which always brings those egos down and shows if the work team is behind them and working for them not against each other. Trust me supervisors have been the cause of loosing really good employees. Don't let a bad supervisor run your company name down so nobody wants to work there... this yearly evaluation really is an eye opener for companies
If you have time, your advice is rock solid. If not…
If your product is software and if you have a hard deadline to build it and if the toxic employee is indispensable, then you have to ask yourself “what is the objective?”. If the objective is a social experiment, then take all the time in the world and fix your employee. If your objective is to build quality software on time, then tighten your chin strap. You’re too late to send your toxic, but valuable employee home and Mr. Toxic doesn’t have time to train his replacement. There comes a point in software projects where throwing more people at the problem will not help and taking away a key player, albeit toxic, can’t help either.
Talk to Mr. Toxic. If that helps, problem solved. Otherwise, get this iteration of software development behind you and replace Mr. Toxic at the beginning of the next production cycle. The sun will come out, birds will sing and the entire culture of the team will improve.
Never ceases to amaze me that these videos come up just when I need them. Helps reassure and guide my approach to situations that come up. Keep up the good work, it’s appreciated.
I mean... its possible they come up because you are being spied on by your technology.
No one is irreplaceable!
Except for Elon Musk.
Everyone is replaceable, the trick is to be easier to put up with than you are to be replaced
Bullshit
I am!
Traditional mindset: Like our James Grant did as We too since the day he was knighted to then be appointed as the 1st Sheriff of their 2 separate GRANT Counties in the Highlands appointed🗡️,no shield 🛡️ or armor. Just Highland Sheriff going it alone, every day. Now overnight, in hopes of helping those at greatest time of THEIR need
I was conceived to full fill the family line that one day was started a legacy in Strathspey of 1206.
An oath, Also know today as “Protect and Serve”….( All others before one’s self & never back down but, “Stand Fast!” -King and Chieftain of Clan Grant. 0:22 🏴
(* and , yes today we still go out with little to no sense of Self Preservation nor the mental capacity to retreat. I still Patrol 3 areas solo from 22:00 - 07:00 those hours the other 3 PDs are On Call overnights + me. ( Would be nice to have a K9 along 🐕🦺❤)
Currently I am as we have a sinking lid policy
I've seen alpt of people in tenure positions actually sabotage new good employees because they saw them as a threat. It's a sad, and a very too often occurrence.
Very common and like you said, sad
I've seen this in my current job
Shows the management is dumb AF, if that pattern hasn’t been observed and acted on. Very expensive for the business.
Yes, this could be the issue i have with a coworker… it seems to me that she want to do it all. She’s really looking to get as much power in the business that she can. In fact, it’s exactly what’s what they say is happening… she’s not easily replaceable! So she comes away with her big ego, toxic behavior…. I had a fight with her about her way she treats me and went to the management. They told me they know her behavior but because she’s running the show, she just can do whatever she want’s to so to speak… although I admire her hard work but I can’t stand it that I’m the one who gets het toxic side… I’m actually really observant and I noticed that she acts friendly towards other coworkers and clients. But i get a lot of crap from her.
@@rik-keymusic160time to update your resume and find a new job. That sh*t’s toxic as hell.
I'm dealing with a new 28 year old supervisor who thinks she has the 'supervisor privilege' literally taking advantage of her job (texting/personal phone calls constanly, sitting at her desk doing nothing) - Im 40 &I know exactly what I am doing on my job, but something is not right with her. idk...
There's also a situation that people are looking like they're becoming toxic because they're getting very frustrated with the lack of cooperation, communication, and follow through from their co-workers and their management. It's best to talk with management see if there can actually be any solutions, but too often management says hey let's just check back in a couple months and nothing really changes. In my opinion the best thing to do in that situation if nobody is listening to any kind of good sets then just leave that company. Don't tolerate it. Let them fail, and let them regret not working with you!
Contrary to popular belief, management can't actually affect change on a grassroots level. Much that we would like to see them perform in this way
The job of a manager is to respond to crisis or effectively handle complaints against the brand. They aren't equipped to be interpersonal or even to have influence. This is why I don't address personal concerns. Just let it ride until it becomes a pressing matter that leadership absolutely have to address in the way only they can
It isn't in their brain structure to reroute misunderstandings. The best you could hope for is exactly as you said, check back in a couple months. This is because the issue of poor communication has to be on the docket and resemble company wide change, otherwise it doesn't fall into the wheel house of concern
This is why it's on you to bring it to attention as an initiative. Again, their role is to spot check topical concerns. A disgruntled customer, a blown over sign, excessive toilet paper use
Their measure of control is to make monument of what they put their hands to when it comes time for a reckoning. It probably goes back to old hunter gatherer methods of rewards for valor. Letting the whole tribe see what initiative looks like. They get a surge of chemicals, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin for their troubles. A bit more autonomy and maybe a larger helping of the game for that evening
If you are struggling to maintain communication, this is because your ambition runs contrary to that effect. The chief is really looking for ways to strengthen his own resolve and wants to motivate his tribe to seek out solutions and ideas to that end. If you're not driving deep and padding out the big score in spite of routine challenges, it doesn't net him any more progress toward reassurance. Go and do 85 burpees, etc
This is disappointing because excessive sharpening actually makes the instrument blunt. You would hope that a team leader would have some interest in teaching a man to fish. Instilling core values and bonding techniques. Good communication isn't about favoritism, it's about keeping synergy in the line and preparedness for when the stakes bring pressure
Most leadership is focused on keeping the company lean. Motivating it's members by challenging their ego. Obviously people are going to be enthusiastic about scoring more money. All I'm saying is that manhood should involve significant bonds between you and your fellow man. In addition to keeping the core ethics of what it would be like to assume responsibility when it becomes your time. You're going to have to be around other people in pursuit of that aim. But what's most important is what kind of enabling factors remain once the chief is gone. Will the core maintain or will they fall apart and tear at each other's throats the moment he leaves?
@@ramblincapuchin9075 that sounds like bullshit. You can make sure to hire the right people, and fire people that aren't doing their job properly
@@ramblincapuchin9075*effect change 😉
That's why it's so important to take the time to find the person that is the right fit not only for the job, but the company or team.
It's really hard to screen before hand, but I get don't keep people around that don't fit.
NOBODY is irreplaceable..
NOBODY is above reproach..
“Empire building” is what making yourself invaluable at work is known as I believe.
It happens on a blue collar level too, locking up necessary tools in their toolbox for example.
Empire building is something completely different.
@@davidnelson7719 different to what?
@@pm3577 To what you just described. Just google the term.
I will never forget being told by my father i was fired from a job because i made the crew i was hired on to work for look bad by working circles around them(i was taught to work until its done right) I believe a rake is better then an air blower for a lawn, i dont spread deicer in front of doorways so it can be tracked all over the insides of businesses, this kind of logic has made me persona non grata to those whom see that as a threat instead of an ally. Breaks my heart too cause theres nothing more satisfying then going to a jobsite and making it better then when ya got there man! I guess im just built diff being raised by a korean war vet
It's crazy because people get like scared. I'm similar
I had this happen to me when I began as a CNA. I worked circles around my coworkers, thinking I was doing what I was supposed to be doing and doing it because it was important and caring about the residents needs. Little did I know this would cause me to become targeted and disliked by my coworkers. So much so that I began to hate coming into work and confused to why I was having all this trouble with coworkers when I simply showed up and did my job to the best of my ability each day. Then I found that this was the case in every healthcare scenario I worked in. The healthcare industry is only in business to make money. In no way does caring for and treating a patients needs enter the top priority for healthcare in this country. And additionally, I've concluded that you have to be heartless and have a gossipy, clique-forming, high school girls type of attitude to fit in and last.
I pray all of you stay true to your integrity, even in the face of the crabs in the bucket...you're golden, rare.
@@gangstadrz9326 Government, too. Government jobs tend to attract uncompetitive men, who all just want to keep sucking on the taxpayers teet until they retire so they can still suck on it some more. Whining about how offended someone is, is just a form of soft bullying. The thing about having a command voice is that it evokes action, something most prior service military and police understand but is deemed offensive by the weak. Same thing with throwing the bell curve in elementary school. You throw the bell curve for all the normal and slow kids, you're gonna get hated. Probably even by the teacher as well.
I do the same and the predictable reaction of people who didn't do it before is "overachiever".
When the workplace is better than it was before I showed up, that is proof I'm valuable and I know it. Only lazy people who got away with skirting under the radar see it as a threat.
Notice how this situation coensides with low pay/ zero upward mobility.
When one feels irreplaceable then resentment due to the stress of the position. Once the feeling of irreplaceability goes away then the feeling of needing/wanting to contribute more naturally comes back
I wish I had read Jocko's books 6 years ago so I could of handled my self better went I had to deal with lazy, manipulative, toxic coworkers, but at least now....I have no coworkers. I still work, but only have me and my boss to deal with. My son bought several of Jocko's books about 4 years ago and it changed his life!
Lawrence Taylor said one smart thing. He realized that when he retired, there was an NFL game the next week. Most everyone is replaceable.
The team still has to succeed, no matter who is the coach, director, or leader. Decentralized Command is the only way to prepare for an unforeseen departure.
Bruh, if you want to play basketball on the '95 Bulls you gotta pass Jordan the ball.
that is the problem with manager who didn't give any instructions but expecting everything to go as planned...😅
OR actively sabotaging other departments and then questioning when thing's go wrong
Damn, first thing I'm doing when i get to work today, is making myself replaceable, for the company 🙏
I just got canned from a toxic tech company about the same size as your example. They let me go for lack of sales right after my quarterly review where they said everything was great, keep it up. They were being acquired and also told me to put a hold on sales, so the entire thing made no sense. On top of that the COO, CEO and HR Manager all started crying on the Zoom call with me. People are so weird, why couldn't they just admit they had been acquired and the new leadership didn't like me? I was a manager so I knew we had a 3 strike policy as well as performance improvement plan as part of our process as I had used them on staff I had managed. I was like where are my 3 strikes?
When some doors close, others open. Be ready for the next opportunity. But take the time to analyze why the new leadership didn't like you. What could you have done to improve your relationship with your leadership? Take the lessons learned from this experience and apply them going forward.
@leifbabin1512 this is the hardest thing to accept about the philosophy your company promotes- learning that just because something bad happened to you (getting fired), it doesn't mean it was your fault, but you can always learn and grow from an experience and do something about it. Which is difficult to hear (for me personally, at least) because I have often preferred to just be pissed and sad in non-productive ways instead of acting
Sometimes people have narcissism and other toxic personalities. Also, some folks want their people to be in their new company. Not folks they don't know. Many reasons. I would try to just move on. Folks are particular in the business world and its hard to change mindsets.
I can tell you why they lied. They dont want to admit to employment security that they had no valid reason, so they make something up and hope you dont file for unemployment and dispute their bullshit. I got fired 1 day after giving notice for family medical leave, no reason given. Spoke to HR and they admitted it was unethical and against the law. Sued and all management involved were fired. They are better off making up some bullshit excuse.
Damn that's bs
I feel I've become a bit toxic myself. I really try hard not to let things people do to bother me but i find myself overreacting to things that annoys me. I have just gotten over a chronic illness and my body and mind aren't the same as they used to be. Now I've hurt my back at work and i think i may need a surgery and of course my work is trying to avoid it by going through physio and rehab but it's ongoing. There are also people who are on limited duties due to age or injury and i feel i have to cover those people and i don't believe it's my problem they can't do their work properly. On top of this i have a 2 year old who has autism (suspected) and a 6 month old who has had bad reflux and has been very difficult. I really feel i need to move on because that's not who i see myself as or it's not the person i want yo be. I sometimes walk into work and see some of my coworkers and i get a feeling of dread and my stomach actually does laps. When the particular people don't show up i feel much better. Sorry for ranting i needed to get it off my chest. I'm trying to sort out my feelings.
Toxicity from others has taught me the importance of not reacting. If it’s not them today, it’ll be someone else tomorrow. Sometimes I take it personally, a lot of times I don’t understand what’s being said, but I can usually hear the intent. Hurt people hurt people. It’s not my job to figure out why. All I can control is how I behave. What other people do or why they do it isn’t my problem.
This advice is very startup specific. Ideal corporation runs as Dave says, average corporation (middle 87.5%) are training a replacement to keep wages down. In a large corporation, you are at war for resources with other departments and having someone who knows how to do a mission critical task and is the only one who can do that is a game changer for that dynamic. It accrues more budget, more headcount, and greater political power in the long run. A leader recognizes these highly competent individual contributors, gathers them as they can, and protects all of the other personnel they are responsible for by leveraging that political power to avoid layoffs for their team.
Work with a guy that has claimed he is untouchable multiple times. I finally told him the only thing that is untouchable is your ego.
I have started and sold a few small companies, every one can be replaced. Upper management should realize that top notch people are probably more important than the CEO, COO.
I think this happens a lot in tech folks. They've had to fight to prove themselves to gain any footing. The competition to be in that position is FIERCE.
Once they make it, they can't turn it off, they're always going to be trying to prove themselves. (And probably quietly eliminating competition) so they will be in the position of being irreplicable.
It really isn't something they can stop. It comes off as ego, but it's really masked insecurity. Like many things in life.
This is an incredible video, but i hate how common an unchecked ego can ruin what should be a well oiled machine.
I actually just quit my job today because of a extremley toxic manager, and the managers above him refusing to do anything about it because he's basically irreplaceable.
I had asked the general manager 2 weeks ago to have a converstation with the 2 toxic people everyone was frustrated with. I even told him that my recent unexcused calloffs had been because I couldnt convince myself to go in and experience the same toxicity day after day.
The manager did nothing about it for 2 weeks, and when i followed up with him.about it, he said he had gotten busy putting a spreadsheet together and hadnt talked to them yet.
Quit without notice a couple days later (today), and called the manager out on his inaction. He had no defense.
It doesn't matter how talented a toxic person is. The havoc they wreak on the team and the organization is unacceptable. Look at how much time and effort is being considered just to get this person back in line. In the mean time they're continuing to poison everything they touch.
I think pulling someone aside, saying i want so-and-so trained up and to take lead is a bad idea. I've seen this happen- the SME will think something is up. Not only will they not adequately train the other guy, chances are they'll think the writing is on the wall, and they'll cut their losses and go somewhere else with no backup.
"We don't want to train his replacement as a hedge against getting rid of him" But that's exactly what happens every time
Maybe it's just me but I was asked at one point a few years ago if I was training anyone to do the things that I could do and I said "isn't that how you get replaced?" and my boss said, "no, that"s how you get promoted"
Since that short conversation I still work for the same company and I've been promoted 3 times.
It’s a primary responsibility of doing a job to ensure that job can get done without you. If you are in an organization where people are holding power by holding knowledge or some other trickery, start looking for a new team. If you aren’t on the inside of the scam, you will get cheated until you get ejected.
Many exceptions, of course. There's a bunch of backend programmers fresh off college and a full stack greybeard on the team. What is he supposed to do, take 10+ years of his life to teach them what he has learned, much of which may well rely on logical/mathematical/analytical talent that cannot actually be taught?@@nunyabidness3075
I have been the person on the other end who has a considerable amount of knowledge and there have been two businesses that have failed after I left them. There were people that felt I was difficult, and I was, I had to be, in a position like CTO or CISO, if you fail compliance or planning compliance people go to jail, lives are ruined, companies fold. In a small company anyone who is doing their job well is irreplaceable. There were plenty of people that if you let them go the company would be in jeopardy. From my perspective the people who complained about that couldn't take over the job I did, were threatened by the level of expertise, and/or generally trying to manipulate for power. When I left one of the companies, I provided them with everything they needed to replace my functions if the next person was willing to put in the same hours, I left volumes of documentation, automated systems, I tried to always work to the goal of being able to pass my job to someone else, because you can't advance if you don't.
From a cofounder CTO, the organizational chart review is always a good way to put a CTO in place. Typically in larger companies, the CTO can be in the second or third lower tier of the C-suite below the COO and CEO. Egos and insecurities are the worst on leadership teams. For example, a weak-minded divide-and-conquer CEO will kill the company.
It’s so many assumptions around people who are truly gifted and talented. If someone comes off “irreplaceable,” I believe the person perceiving has the ego problem and needs to self reflect.
As a mechanic, I've dealt with team players. I call them, the union. And in the union, you're allowed to make massive mistakes. Sometimes, the type of mistakes that put people's lives in danger. Or create economic oppression, at a massive scale. Just show up to work with a hangover, and do the best you can..... With a hangover..... Don't worry...... If you get caught being drunk on the job..... The union will protect you.
Over the last 30 years I have spent 85% of my career, fixing, their collective mistakes.
Management comes to me and says..... Mr mckinnon.... We want you to be a team leader. I said..... No.
I can't afford to take that kind of cut in pay.
Sounds like a perfect example of humans saying "we dont like you but we can use you and lie about you to steal your work." Oh the ol Oppenheimer special. Nikkola Tesla special. The list goes on and on.
Exactly. They are talking about this like he is a shift supervisor at Wendy’s.
You need to be careful with the narcissists too, sometimes it will be one of those people, at the beginning they are all nice and resourceful and stuff and once they get to a position in power like being the only one who can run something or to be at the top of the ladder they show the true personality, the book Dangerous personalities may be a good pairing for this piece of advice
Communication and trust is vital not only in an employment situation, but in living scenarios as well !
This perfectly outlines what the military did to me lol my last job, I constantly tried to make sure others on the team had gouge defining what I was working on for the “bus” factor. My boss would always correct me and say “the lottery factor”. If your military training was done right, you shouldn’t ever want to be the only person who can do something because there’s a mission and a team tasked with that mission, not one person….civilians get tremendously confused by NOT wanting “job security”.
Identify the behavior, address the behavior directly, with concern and respect. Allow the person the avenue to explain themselves or vent. Finally, Communicate what needs to be corrected and give the person the ultimatum as to how the behavior needs to change.
I'd had the best and the absolute worst bosses at this one company. After many years working there, the worst boss was so toxic that I finally decided to quit. I never figured out why, but he hated me. He seemed friendly at first, but then I started hearing about 'things that weren't out in the open' about him. I tried so hard to move to different departments. He always did things to stop me from being able to move. He kept me there in that miserable situation (at the peak of the housing crisis). I was trapped.
Probably jealous of you. Some people have marked narcissistic traits and they can't hand that other people may have more knowledge than them.
If he hated you, why would he try to stop you from leaving? That makes no sense. I would think he would want you to leave.
You can’t manage all people the same way. Different personality types have different motivation, quirks, and strengths. It takes all those differences to have a successful team if they are managed appropriately. I once used the analogy of the Navy’s carrier battle group to understand how people function on a team. Understand and utilize the differences to your advantage as a manager and keep everyone on course.
If they are more suitable for the job, good for me and good for the team. Keeping your ego in check is key!
I had a Warrant Officer in my section who was nothing but toxic, but he did have the technical knowledge that it was necessary to keep him around. Guy couldn't even stand laughing in the section and would tell people to stop.
Management is something learned, that you get better at the more you do it ... 10,000 slap shots
I would take the approach to foster a program with them to explain to them that we need to start a documentation backend that describes operational, procedural, etc., etc. processes that other people could follow. Exactly from a risk management perspective, there should be nothing bad about this approach nor confrontational. This approach also allows you to not have difficult conversations or overstep any boundaries that could offend them.
There is no "checking the ego" with a toxic narcissist. They rule using fear and you can not win, only distance yourself to protect yourself.
Sadly where I work we are so top-heavy with EGO, that no one is safe. Such a hostile place. Employees have "learned helplessness" and just give up.
Ive worked in and around Construction and a few good people but a lot of egos and toxic masculinity who refuse to pass knowledge and have some sort of nepotism to the boss. This doesnt start and end with construction as many companies are toxic hell holes soul suckers. My advice is if your working around negativity then look for jobs with less interaction with co workers. Ive done crew style work and felt annoyed paired with all kinds of personalities.
Nor does it start and end with men. Women are every bit the same way in the same situations. Many times, they're worse.
@@tetedur377I'd say men are worse... You kinda expect women to be catty but the amount of bitchassness in so many of the men these days makes your blood boil.
3:25 escalation of counseling3:45 concern 5:00
5:35 big ego guy
6:45 See the risks where ur exposed
10:00 write em up then fire em, timeline
11:00 ego 12:00 train his replacement 13:30
15:00 taking his job
A problem that Jocko has here is a sense of infallibility of leadership. “I’m the COO; therefore I’m in charge.” The problem with ego is usually not the person displaying something toxic; it’s usually a reaction to something very malignant in the structure.
This scenario is true for micromanagers. It's clear that the solution is a top-down approach. The problem happens is if the leaders do not want to take action on not having bottlenecks.
As an operations manager, I've learned over the years that I take all of the blame, and none of gain. That means I'm the the barrier between my men and upper management. This simply means that whatever happens, it is never, ever, because of what my men do. I imagine it's the same for the military.
Such a manager exists?!
It's also the same if you're a man and you're married to a woman.
Not always
And shouldering that blame with humility is what earns you the respect of your peers and your team.
That sort of respect is hard to come by, and deeply undervalued in today’s cutthroat corporate environments.
Nah. That’s not how leadership works. It’s not a blame vs gain equation.
I teach and work with teens in education. I tell them daily school is not just for maths, English, science etc, it's a place you can on the whole be safely educated in dealing with people you like, dislike, trust, don't trust. This prepares you for life after education
My boss did this to me!!
Over 4 years
Now I’m almost out due to how much work this other co worker absorbed.
I was the manager and she was admin.
Very few people are irreplaceable.
It depends on what they "bring to the table"...so to speak. If there is an employee/associate/supervisor who can work their assigned duties, create a functional/positive work environment/atmosphere, retain employees, and is trustworthy, that is GOLD.
That step one “is everything okay?” Is so important. Because of that approach, our team learned that one worker wasn’t blowing things off; she was dealing with a medical situation that compromised her memory. Solution: we collaborated on productivity tools to help her stay organized. We learned that another was acting out of character due to a near death in his family. Solution: we offered an open door for him to accept any reasonable support he needed from us, which alone softened his approach, and we cut him a little slack while he regrouped. Soon he was back to himself as mvp for our team. Guess what? He did the same for others when they were going through a personal emergency.
Sure, not everyone will respond favorably to that step, but that’s what the later escalation steps are for. (The later being something I could use more practice in).
Sometimes the organization can be better served by giving know-it-alls more to do, and disguise it as responsibility 😊😊😊. They usually just need to feel important.
This is great from a leadership perspective, but if you’re a subordinate dealing with a toxic team member there feels like little to nothing to do. Leaders/ supervisors need to be able to have the balls to deal with the issues, and the intuition to see them. It feels like those qualities are few and far between in modern supervision.
Like it or not, there will always be people who can't easily be replaced. Those people are the ones who shine way way brighter than the norm for many reasons. Just having boots to fill that hole doesn't repair the hole beneath those boots.
Good advice "Good" bring it on. Be happy for competition and colleagues wanting to take you on. Be Good at the challenge.
Love this discussion. Top notch, on all counts and scenarios. I particularly like the ending sentiment, and the layer regarding single points of failure and the use of the phrase “what if they ‘get hit by a bus’?” - use it all the time lol.
This is a great video. Escalation and progressive counseling(discipline) works with MOST people. Meeting 2, 3, 4 NEED to be documented
I would even say that making sure you know how to council. its important because at the end of the day as a leader you are there to influence people to willingly follow you. Key work, “Willingly”.
I'd you 100% truly want the team to do well and improve from there, ego is the biggest shortcoming.
A pop shield / pop screen would be a nice addition to improve the quality of your audio tracks.
"escalation of counseling" requires some degree of authority (and leadership obviously)... but without the authority, it's hard to reign in an ego problem. often boomers in the e-suite like to delegate responsibility, but don't delegate the corresponding authority. makes it hard to manage in these kinds of circumstances.
Needed this, this town is infested with this, can’t wait for breaks, constantly whines about work load at work, lives for the weekend and drags ass at work. One person after another is trying to out do the other and when they notice something, instead of getting involved or teaching, they just escalate the problem to the next person or group. They prefer people who don’t care about the job yet keep them around because they are told to care. I’m all for following a good leader but when my coworkers are both lifting me up and throwing me away, I toss up my hands and quit because the group failed
Been working 40 years. I always bail out ASAP of toxic jobs. Done it about 4 times. Always found better jobs. Sometimes I politely mentioned I was looking for a better job that had a better work environment that suited me. Bad people need to be left alone and left behind.
In my experience everyone is replaceable
im having these issues with a manager (as a supervisor / lower management) he attacks ppl one on one but is fairly ok in group situations. he only ever comes to me with negativity and criticism, and hes the only one that does it. But not only me but everyone he talks too. He also doesnt care about stuff unless it effects him directly, or feels that it does.
Based on my position and that im asked to continue carrying out those duties, i cant believe that all im worthy of is criticism. everyone else thinks i do my job well, even other parties outside of our company.
about to have a meeting with the CoO next week
Great vid. I miss the good old days where you could go out back and knuckle up.
Might feel good but sure as shoot ain’t the way. Otherwise that’s how every conflict would be approached. But I understand the feeling though. Sure can relate 😅
This was very eye opening and helpful. Thank you for sharing this
Working as a team should be the most important. Know it alls or think they’re know it alls can be as dangerous as the lowest performer.
We had our top salesman who is the older brother of my business partner abruptly left our organization because felt deceived and he his thoughts about situations were right without clarity. He’s a great person and means well
But mismanages his emotions that have a detrimental impact. Making money is great and solves many problems but the destruction of relationships and proximity can be heavier on your conscious than having your toe ran over by a car. Though I can have victim coated perception, the garden of opportunity is ready for a fresh new start. Abundantly greatful
This literally came at the right time. Thank you
We all need to be reminded of these things from time to time.
Thank y’all for letting me enjoy my sit in…
I can relate as the guy with the ego. I feel I need to progress in my job. My supervisor gave me someone to train, but constantly pulls him away to do menial bs tasks, so I am still left as the only one in my role. I have been passed up three times for promotion because I am the only one trained to do what I do and I simply want to transfer to a different dept
ANYONE is replaceable
said de most NPCest "person" in utube
People are often too liberal when branding others toxic. We often brand them as toxic because they’re not going along with MY program. They’re not doing what I want them or need them to do so I can feel ok. It’s easier to point the finger at somebody else and cast them aside than to look at my part and understand whether or not I am being a control freak as a result of my unhealthy emotional dependency. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me. I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. So I have to be very mindful and practice rigorous acceptance.
This is a good outlook. Toxic workplaces certainly exist, but the term is often jumped to, too quickly.
Putting yourself in that mindset can make it self-fulfilling.
that’s common sense, thanks for typing out a whole essay to say the obvious, literally to everyone.
I have met quite a few toxic individuals in the workplace. And from my experience it never improves. This is because people are what they are.
I have tried every technique, and some of them will work for a while.
Then a week or two later, you are back to square one with them!
One of the problems is and this one is what managers and leaders do. Is they are aware of the toxic individual, and this is whether you have mentioned them or not. And the toxic individuals leader usually take the easy lazy option and they don't do anything about the problems that this one person can cause.
This of course compounds your own disappointment and frustration.
And with that you may decide to take another job.
Or you can do the formal complaint thing.
Bottom line is, it never ends well with ignorant toxic coworkers!
Is this guy literally describing the company I am working for? The small tech start up and the CTO….he is describing where I work.
This is a very complicated topic, the parameters for the evaluation of this topic set up in this particular example.. reflect only a very very small portion of the possible circumstances... it is a very good and valid observation, for the health of not only a community, but the community, nation, and worlds industrial viability. Again... the particular parameters set up in this example, are only a very small example, of a very large body of possibilities which may exhibit similar symptoms. Not an easy topic to handle in many cases... if you find the reason for the symptoms are that guys dependence on imported, or cheap labor, or if he is dependent on another example who is effectively irreplacable, and stressed due to that... you can fire and replace fifteen of those toxic guys and never get over the problem.