Teacher Supports Then Dates Former Inmate Who Stabbed His Lover | Matthew Terry Case Analysis
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- Опубліковано 23 лис 2023
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze case of Matthew Terry?
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It's an old story. Woman falls in love with violent man who has history of hurting women but she thinks it won't happen to HER!!!
Different women are sometimes strangely attracted to violent men. They of course do not get to choose what turns them on. They can witness the fact that "bad boys" turn them on if they are paying attention. These kinds of women steam roll or totally ignore nice guys. It is what it is.
Damn close to a Darwin Award. Trust behavior patterns, not what you see in front of you at the moment
They always think they can change them.
So many women are delusional
those are call pathetic lonely women!
This is a prime example of why trying to save grown men never works.
True. People don't change. They only hide their real self for so long.
I think it’s an example of why trying to save violent criminals doesn’t work. When people say “I can fix him” (or her) they’re usually not talking about convicted felons lmao
So true once the foundation has been washed out from underneath there is nothing you can do
Is not the women fault, they are genetically wire to love those kind of men, google has done a study on that behavior, in fact multiple studies have shown women are wire to like violent abusive selfish men, so she was just following her natural programming, just like men are just horny simps that will jump out of a bridge to get sex, its just genetics
The fault is on the DA and judges that release him from jail, on beliefs that an apology and a smile is enough, "everyone makes small mistakes like beheading people" mentality is the problem
I don't believe there was any saving this guy.
Really shocking that stabbing someone 7 times (once in the throat) would result in a sentence of 3 to 10 years with a parole after only 3 years.
But if u protest a stolen election;solitary confinement forever
In germany that's about the max. sentence you'd get from doing that.
I see court cases here on YT where someone gets a DUI with no one hurt and they get longer sentences than this. WTH!!!
If he was a Clinton he wouldn't have done any time at all
white boy privilege that's all 😂
You know it's bad when Dr. Grande moves to the timeline of the FIRST crime 😂
literal lol, read that just about when he said it in real time for me 😆
(Not that the crimes are any less horrific… you are a fan, you get it, I digress).
This ‼️😂
💯😂
kinda obvious its worse if there are two crimes.
Say it with me: ABUSERS DON’T CHANGE.
So true!! Never!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏
No but y'all stay with em anyway!😁
My Lord - he stabbed her multiple times and was only sentenced to 3 years? That makes no sense whatsoever.
His actions are exactly what prisons and capital punishment were designed for. Prisons are not built to punish anyone (as this makes no sense), nor are they built to rehab anyone. They were made to sequester dangerous people from peaceful, but vulnerable society. This justice system has been failing at doing its job of protecting innocent society for a while now.
The A&E documentary on this case seemed to indicate that he came from a wealthy well connected family and they used their influence to get him off easily.
@@kingdele01 I wonder what his well-connected family thought when he did it again.
@@kingdele01 Oh and he was white too... I don't believe he was completely lovey dovey while he wasn't drinking although I don't know the guy,, just that mean drunks usually have some predisposition to dominating or controlling behavior and rationalize it by claiming "I was drunk",, and while some dysfunctional drunks get verbally plaintive or obsessive,, this category is usually known as whiny drunks and not mean drunks... But THIS guy,, going for a knife, and then going for the neck....... I can see why the jury found him guilty of first-degree,, and also the claiming that she was eliminated by some shadowy burglar,, give me a break..... I would have sentenced him to life plus another hundred years for stupidity.......
It MAKES SENSE THAT FED IS ALLSO EVIL KNOW HE WILL MURDER AGAIN. THERE SUB HUMAN IN NEGATIVE JOB. NOT HUMAN SUB HUMAN THERE NEGATIVE
"He attacked another woman with a knife, but that doesn't mean he'll attack me with a knife," -Kay, probably.
People don't change. Don't give them a second chance, or you could end up dead in a second.
Even if she had been dancing with another man, that is her prerogative. She was doomed one way or another due to Matthew’s personality and love of alcohol. If it hadn’t been the dancing, it would’ve been something equally minor. What a pathetic human being he is. 😢
Right eventually there would be something that would make him angry enough to hurt her plus he got such a slap on the wrist.
Where were her friends and family to try and say Kay why are you dating someone who has offed someone already, where were the people to try and shake her into reality. But at the end of the day she knew what she was signing up for.
When people tell you(or SHOW you) who they really are, BELIEVE THEM.🤦🤦🤦
Amen!
Some women know this but have a disease called codependency. They get to know someone and think they can help them. Most of these women come from dysfunctional homes and sadly it becomes a cycle like alcoholism.
@@Alice-ov3rd They also have a Cinderella complex thinking there will be that knight in shining armor some day.
One of the best quotes ever! When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Maya Angelou knew what was up babes.
I don't understand people who date people who have been convicted for serious crimes like assault...I am so scared of violent people that I can't even stand people who bang tables in anger yet Kay knew this man had stabbed someone 7 times and still dated him. It is truly baffling.
We have an entire generation who ignores their instincts and logic because it might be “racist”.
For some reason my reply disappeared. I'm assuming that despite it not being offensive or mean YT's fussy bots decided it had to go.
Anyway, the crux of it was that I agree that how you are is healthy and normal.
She, the same as alot of women thinks she can "change" him...
I don't get it either. 14:31
Never date a criminal
Wise words to abide by.
Avoid dating apps
Oh Christ... HOW ABOUT,, never date an attempted murderer, how's that?
@@micnorton9487attempted murderers are criminals. Just more safe. 🙃
Very simple
Some people forfeit the right to breathe air. Matthew Terry is one of them. The justice system was an abysmal failure in these cases. Condolences to the bereaved.
I remember this case. That Kay girl vouched for this scumbag in court and claimed that he was a good man even after he tried to murder that woman. It’s hard to feel bad for her, she earned the Darwin Award.
This new victim blaming mentality seems strange to me. I've seen it three times in the comment section now to include yours. I wonder how it is gaining popularity, since it doesn't withstand the slightest contact with common sense.
I don't think victim blaming is new and the reason that it's a longstanding perspective is because of the contact with common sense. We all know people who seem to seek out dangerous people and situations, then when they're hurt, they're a victim. A victim we all saw heading down that path.
@@michaelmur7691 I never said victim blaming is new. I said it seems to be gaining in popularity these days. I just wonder how since most people believe they are intelligent.
@@troy3456789 On the contrary, victim blaming in cases like this is the epitome of common sense. If I see someone put their hand in a fire, and they get burned, then it is the height of idiocy to go put my hand in the same fire. Yes, how dare people point out that dating a violent stabber was not a smart idea!
@@troy3456789 so true, we bow to your omniscience and endless compassion, truly you are a shining example to us all. Inexplicable things happen, there's no fault to be held by any, all that can be done is weep bitter tears of remorse and regret. 🥇 Here's your "person of the year" award.
I’ll show this case to people that blame victims. I have no doubt the second woman thought it was the fault of the first woman, something she did wrong and that she herself would be “better” and therefore fine. Nope. Dudes just a psychopath and nothing you say or do will change that. As we see an extremely benign interaction caused him to become murderous.
This is not a question of victim blaming. It is more like a woman who didn't have good judgement in mate selection.
- Dr. Grande didn't cover the fact that she left her husband to be with this scumbag, possibly because she thought he was more romantic or that he was "the one"!
- She also ignored all the warnings given her by the other victim.
This is more of the excessive optimism and lack of willingness to face reality that's pervasive with many youngish people today.
@@kingdele01 nah. She 100% had to think the first woman did something to cause him to act out that way. She believed she wouldn’t provoke him the way “she did” so she’d be safe. Her logic was flawed. But nobody would go into a relationship with someone like that thinking “yeah he might stab me one day, but he’s better than my hubby” lol.
@@kingdele01 I’ve also known someone personally who dated a violent s*x offender while he was still in prison. Like started dating while he was still locked up. Her mindset was completely about how the victim “asked for it” it and that he was the real victim. He ended up almost murdering her when he was finally out. Their mindset is that the bad guys are actually good guys that were pushed too far.
@@Cashhhhew I definitely didn't say she thought he could kill her. I think she is overly optimistic and thought the guy loved her too much to do such things to her.
@@Cashhhhew
Also the reason why I brought up her departure from her husband was because of many people leave reasonable committed relationships to pursue new relationships the following:
- they easily get manipulated with lies and superficial charm
- they also have been conditioned into thinking that there is someone out there, for them, called "The ONE" (or soulmates). And this "ONE" will always be handsome, tall, witty, funny, charming, romantic, successful, 100% responsive to their emotions, etc...
Therefore, they leave their good marriages, that provide them certainty and stability, to go chase after a dream, which is just a passing vapor.
Kay made some risky choices and put herself in danger. It’s sad that people who commit these crimes are allowed to continue living amongst the rest of us.
How is this different from blaming the victim?
Sure, she had no part in her murder and ignoring his stabby behavior was not her fault at all. She's female! So she cannot be at fault even if she acted like a reckless fool with a Death Wish.@@troy3456789
@@troy3456789 pointing out that someone has made idiotic choices is not victim blaming. ITs merely pointing out a fact. no one is saying she deserved it but Id say she practically asked for it.. she knew what hed done yet CHOSE to get involved with him.
Darwin Award of the day.
@@troy3456789 This is not an either-or situation.
Here is what we now know about codependency. According to Wikipedia, "In psychology, codependency is a theory that attempts to explain imbalanced relationships where one person enables another person's self-destructive behavior such as addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Definitions of codependency vary, but typically include high self-sacrifice, a focus on others' needs, suppression of one's own emotions, and attempts to control or fix other people's problems. People who self-identify as codependent exhibit low self-esteem, but it is unclear whether this is a cause or an effect of characteristics associated with codependency. Codependency is not limited to married, partnered, or romantic relationships, as co-workers, friends, and family members can be codependent as well."
Here is what we now know about epigenetics, which according to Wikipedia is 'in biology, epigenetics are stable heritable traits that cannot be explained by changes in DNA sequence, and the study of a type of stable change in cell function (known as a mark) that does not involve a change to the DNA sequence. The Greek prefix epi- (ἐπι- "over, outside of, around") in epigenetics implies features that are "on top of" or "in addition to" the traditional (DNA sequence based) genetic mechanism of inheritance. Epigenetics usually involves a change that is not erased by cell division, and affects the regulation of gene expression. Such effects on cellular and physiological phenotypic traits may result from environmental factors, or be part of normal development. They can lead to cancer.'
For instance, through exposure to high concentrations of neurotoxins, cognitive-emotional brain structure, function, and chemistry can be thrown off balance, such as when the anxiety hormone Cortisol, which mediates the freeze, flight, fight, and/or fawn response is elevated for a prolonged period of time through a deficiency of physiological, safety, love and belonging, and growth needs during critical growth periods of the human developmental life span from womb to tomb. Researchers in trauma-sensitive care are aware that the brain grows from the bottom-up and recovers from the top-down from a range of Adverse Childhood Experiences. A good empirical and experiential education is important to self-esteem/self-confidence and self-actualization in coping with life's challenges and moral transcendence in a U-turn back toward God's face beyond the narcissistic self to selflessness, as children learn what they live by means of combinations of group dynamics. Apart from a personal relationship with God, parental abuse and/or neglect result in siblings forming codependent relationships with each other, while huddling together in self-soothing ritualistic behavior and in subsequently forming friendships with others who share similar bad parenting experiences. In my opinion, this is the basis for unholy relationships, which perpetuate addictive behavior, such as substance abuse, across generations.
To want to be loved so badly that you put your entire life at risk is truly so unspeakably sad. TY, Dr Grande for an excellent commentary ❤
Matthew was pathologically jealous with a Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde personality. Alcohol consumption unleashed a homicidal maniac with the strange need to shuck his pants. His modus operandi and photos from the first and second crimes were like mirror images. His first spouse was very lucky to have survived. It’s too bad the second spouse threw caution to the wind despite being aware and fore warned.
Removing their pants is a behaviour I’ve seen before in a person who would get violent when drunk. My guess is it seems too be connected to some kind of primal, aggressive emotion fuelled by alcohol. It’s very scary to be alone with people in this state of mind.
It is unbelievable to me that that first violent attack garnered a sentence of only 3 years...that is truly shocking. Someone like this should be in custody far, far longer, where they have no access to drugs/alcohol. The fact that he continued to drink after knowing what he does when drunk shows a total lack of remorse. I don't believe this "type" of person is actually capable of regret and feeling for others, other than "objects" in relation to themselves.
yep attempted murder
The true NPC, absolute disregard for his own like and the lives of others with absolute self awareness
Domestic assault. 100% the cops were in his side on this one.
@@artdjesus6267 Bollocks! Stop being so hysterical.
@@artdjesus6267.. maybe,, an ADW charge in Minnesota carries a pretty stiff sentence especially when you attack the victim in the neck and nearly kill them... I don't know how his attorney was able to talk the jury into only assault with intent to cause bodily harm,, because if not attempted murder it's still assault with a deadly weapon......
So sad. A woman I know married a man who was previously in prison for 15 years for killing someone in a bar fight. He tried to Strangler her while they were married. I don't understand why some women are attracted to criminals. Unbelievable!
It's just so weird to me that someone would not have those basic standards in their expectation of who they're with. I wouldn't even go near a person who has hurt an animal, so I can't imagine the complete lack of fussiness it would take someone to date a person who has stabbed another.
I mean, I dated an a** for a while, he had an ankle bracelet for allegedly beating up a dude who was abusing a lady, figured maybe he has self control problems and just missing a few brain cells. I had no proof whether it's true or not but once I discovered stuff he was lying about, researched his bg about the bracelet and woah and behold. He violated a restraining order regarding DV. I think some people deserve second chances depending on what crimes you committed, but definitely not this guy.
People have a habit of lying too. Whose to say he didn't lie about the circumstances which made the lady believe him
they are pathetic losers!
I can understand that more than this. A bar fight doesn’t mean he would definitely be violent to her (but I’m sorry he was). But having stabbed a romantic partner should rule out all future romances without any need for further thought.
@@icturner23 maybe I should have clarified. It wasn't a bar fight. His retelling was "I saw this guy just beating his girlfriend outside a grocery store. I went to help the girl out, she reported me to the cops." Never was there mentioning of a restraining order... There are plenty of other lies he said like his favorite "nephew". His adoptive mother (he's an orphan allegedly) lost a child so he has a tattoo for that miscarried baby. Later on I discovered he is in fact, a father. Not against him being a father, was truly upset over lying to me about it (Which instigated my looking into his bg).
This is a true warning to anyone dating someone with violent, jealous tendencies (especially those that amplify while drinking). Neither of these women thought it would ever really go this far.
Watching this analysis makes me grateful that I broke up with a few certain someone’s back in my 20’s. Some people have extreme rage under the surface. You see it in their obsessions and the things they create in their mind. If you can’t make sense of someone’s thinking, trust that they are not living in this reality.
Well stated. Signs are there. Observe and act. The life you save may be your own.
Some women are drawn to men like this, sadly.
Well said.
I disagree completely. Most people who are jealous have a very justified reason.
The real problem in this case is addiction and the violent tendencies of this guy when drinking. She should have known better than to take him out drinking while on parole for getting violent with a woman while drinking.
@@tarstarkuszkinda wild to blame her and not the violent criminal but ok 😂
never underestimate just how much of a monster someone can become when under the influence of alcohol.
Exactly.
Alcohol is a Poison.
POS should have gotten 40 years for his FIRST crime.
How tragic! Guys I came out of an abusive marriage. Once your partner gets violent with you, it will not be the last time and the attacks will only get more brutal!
I am so very sorry you had to go thru that. I am glad you got away with your life, truly. You never know how far an abuser will go to keep you in line. And for those of us who watch a lot of true crime content, we’ve seen many times where that line ends. For women and men who are victims. ❤ stay strong friend and I hope the ptsd isn’t too awful - once that curtain has been pulled back to expose how truly awful some people can be, people who claim to love us, it’s hard to not expect that in every relationship moving forward.
The poor innocent guy at the bar who 'raised the roof' is probably traumatized to an extent.
"It's murder on the dance floor..."
Intoxicated people cannot be reasoned with. Such a tragic story. 😢
alcohol affects different people differently. My wife turns into a foul mouth violent rage machine when she drinks. I am a quiet peaceful drunk, and I quit drinking a few years ago (because I can't find any redeeming qualities in it). I think my adventure into mindfulness might have something to do with it.
@@troy3456789totally agreed. My oldest sister and our brother the 2 alcoholic in family. My sister gets loud and talks crazy with RED face very annoying. My brother he get angry and short temper he can get violent as well. He know her front tooth out when they were both drunk as a skunk. To this day they're both like that when they have liquor in their system. I don't drink period can't stand the smell of liquor I vomit lol.
@@glow1815 Be thankful that alcohol makes you sick. It's the same way with pot for me. It makes my ears fry and ring like crazy. I am lucky.
It's wise to avoid people that abuse drugs and alcohol.
@@skycloud4802 well put. Some people, maybe even many people believe some drugs or some alcohol is probably okay, so it sort of nullifies such a statement.
Few drug and alcohol abusers believe they have a problem.
I'm sure he was a charmer, and acted normally most of the time. It's difficult to believe what some people are capable of.
Happens a lot. It happened to me. Even when you know their history, you think maybe it will be different for you, or the abuser will convince you that the other woman was just somehow bad to him.
Unfortunately, I think we have been conditioned nowadays to be overly optimistic and assuming that negative things wouldn't happen to us.
For instance, some young women would knowingly get into situations with F-boys and get bent out of shape whenever he kicks them out of his rotation to make room for another naive girl.
You fell for that? Set higher standards
I hope you’re safe and thriving now.
@@darrylg3861being a dick to an abuse victim? Sounds like you need to set higher standards for being a decent person.
Ugh, yeah. Been there. You know what I hate? When I'm dating or getting to know a guy, and he swears up and down that he walked in on his then-girlfriend having sex with his then-best-friend, in his bed. How often does that actually happen? I'm always like, "I'm sorry to hear that, but you do realize that you're setting me up to suffer for that, right?" And he's all like, what? And I say, "Your ex-girlfriend cheated on you with your best friend in your bed. So now, going forward, as soon as you think I lied to you about something minor, you're going to get angry about it; and in your mind, your anger will be justifiable because of how your ex-girlfriend treated you. As though I'm to blame for it! Buh-bye." Experience is a great teacher. Sigh. I hope things are going better for you lately!
In my past I have certainly made mistakes, but I cannot fathom blatantly ignoring the obvious fact that he attempted to murder the first woman, unbelievable
Good grief. Unbelievable how much people are willing to forget/forgive when looking for a mate.
That change in personality when drinking is scary 😨
You have to be pretty desperate to hook up with a guy like that; I don’t know what she was thinking!
He appeared to have a not terrible personality when he was not drunk. She only encountered him when he was not drunk or unable to get alcoholic beverages. Other than that, your comment is not different from victim blaming. I guess if a person rapes someone, it's because they brought it upon themselves by wearing too few clothes?
Victim blaming seems very popular these days despite the fact it doesn't withstand the slightest contact with common sense. I am curious about why this is happening a lot more these days.
I was thinking the same thing like maybe she had low self esteem which is crazy because she was a good looking woman
@@allencollins9951 ahh, more victim blaming. So weird to see this in my opinion.
@troy3456789 I'm not blaming her what I was saying based on her looks she could have had any man she wanted I'm just curious why she would pick him it baffles me is all
@@troy3456789 I really didn't read your 1st comment until now you did shed some light on her choice
3 years for attempted murder with a knife?
Somehow the first conviction was not for attempted murder.
That's why the first trial he shouldn't have been charged with attempted murder but rather assault with a deadly weapon and the seriousness of the knife attack would have pushed it to probably 20 years... But the guy probably had a good lawyer, he was white, there were important black people to put in jail for selling a pound of weed or an ounce of meth,, so you know...
I wonder where the baby was when Michele went to the hospital and he got arrested?
Denial is big symptom of alcoholism both for the user AND the family members.
With law enforcement I’m sure
What's also scary is just how common men like Matthew are. Nice sober, then jealous, violent monsters when drunk.
Women too for that matter.
Absolutely creepy that he was found with a shirt but no pants on both times.
Very strange...there's definitely something going on there.
It was possibly just what he normally slept in every night, and both times was ready for bed despite being in a drunken rage.
Soul,, DEFINITELY,, he wasn't like OJ Simpson and donned a black hat for the event, he took off his pants and grabbed a kitchen knife and went to work... Strange this guy didn't try the story, "some guy came to give my wife's glasses back, and ended up stabbing her, and I chased him out into the woods,, where he accosted me at knifepoint and ordered me to take off my pants,, and I didn't get a good look at him but I will be on a manhunt for the real killer till the day I die...." Was just about as credible as the story he told...... So that still doesn't explain the pants......
@@It-is-me...Melsie... maybe but who takes off their pants as a PRELIMINARY to a stabbin? Presumably both times the guy got hot AFTER GOING TO THE BAR,, maybe the guy didn't drink at home or didn't drink much or didn't get the weird paranoid effect when he didn't drink in public.... If I was in a rage at someone over something, well I probably would just work it out with them or leave but the point is,, you think he'd just sit and watch TV or stock around the house, apparently was making something to eat the first time and just went berserk... Second time they both come home, and he was being weird enough so she went into the bedroom and locked the door,, so why would the guy take his pants off before he kicked in the door? WEEEE-EErd...
I thought so too. It made me think he was getting back at a "mommy" figure, or was punished being forced to pull down his pants by a dad with mommy unable to stop it- so many subconscious reasons to hate a woman, most seem to begin in fear in the home they grew up in. The fact both of his partners acted like they loved him, tried to appease and reassure him but only heightened his determination to kill them while undressed tells me he is a psychopath, and that the alcohol only loosens him up to do what he secretly wants to do while sober. He's playing a role sober, and being himself when drinking, and it seems to do with betrayal, perhaps even being a "trans" or a regression to childhood punishment when being spanked and being very fearful. He doesn't seem to be compelled to go out and murder/rape just any random woman, just ones he allows to get close to him w/out him being close at all. Fear to resentment to blind hatred. Doesn't use a brick, or a hammer or a gun - the amateur psychologist in me says he's basically a frustrated girl in a male body; and somebody in his early years made him ashamed and frightened, repeatedly. Drunk he doesn't want to rape them, he wants total control and them to fear him, suffer until he can cut their heads off.....Or he's a clever snake who may think rightly he could get a lesser sentence because of his "illness", as in "alcoholism is a disease", just like he did before, and is basically a serial killer, w/benefits. He somehow needs a relationship with a woman before he gets to the point of secretly wanting her dead in his daylight, sober phase, then deliberately gets inebriated to find fault with her, and is intrepid in insisting she's guilty of something that weakens him in his own eyes, reminds him of a time he was powerless and humiliated and physically hurt/or some horrendous betrayal or failure by the first female in his life. I actually don't have a clue, but it's speculating about the difference between say, a Ted Bundy, and that Drew Peterson kind of man. (The one who drowns his wives with his bare hands in bathtubs...?) And this guy taking off his clothes has to have some very strong connection to the acting out, IMHO. (It's sad to think his last victim felt so desperate to have a man in her life she created a fantasy world to be with someone like this. Or had a lifetime of magical thoughts before he turned up in it.)🤷😱
Why does he always have to take his pants off after stabbing a woman?
Um . . .
It happens to me too when I binge drink. I wake up wondering why I did that 🤷🏼
She tried to be happy in her life living with a dangerous person. This is so sad.
THANK YOU,, finally someone who isn't calling her a bunch of nasty names just because she was a little naive and hopeful.... 👍
It's called stupidity
I am not religious at all. I stopped drinking a couple years ago. I realized that alcohol doesn't seem to have any redeeming qualities. It's basically committing slow suicide; plus if I have been drinking I am a bit mentally impaired. It's kind of dumb.
You can distract yourself from your reality, or you can numb yourself from it, or you can embrace reality and this moment right now. It's all up to you, and it is worth looking into.
I too stopped drinking 5 years ago, alcohol tastes terrible too, even the flavoured cocktails awalys leave a bad taste in the mouth. In addition, the hangover, bloating and mental impairment when drunk i's not worth it. Even my bank account thanks me, alcohol is expensive!
So well stated, it is wonderful to be sober and feel life again
@@pinky567 I don't know what took me so long to have that realization. At one point, my mother said that alcoholic beverages cause cancer. I thought that was crazy, until I looked it up, then discovered she is right. That played a big part in my behavior changes.
I remember MASH growing up, and they looked so successful and happy drinking after work (all without the reality of how bad it is)
Some people should never go near alcohol, and for those who know it turns them into belligerent ar5es then they should do the right thing and never drink so they don't subject others to their drunk and horrible selves.
But for many of us (most?) it's nice to have a drink. We enjoy the taste, and it's fun as our happiness and feel good levels go up. It's not all bad.
@@troy3456789.. I agree completely, however I have a disorder of mood related to PTSD and other disorders and therefore I have to have some sort of intoxicant, I would never use alcohol because it's a solvent not a drug but the point is, cannabis works...
I still cannot understand why people think that someone who commits destructive behaviour will not do so again.
This is where magical thinking ends up.....
I feel for Michelle. Kaye had many clues but thought she could change the man. Tragic.
"🎶Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to be used by you.Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused. Who am I to disagree?"🎶 Sweet Dreams Eurythmics
That song was about BDSM, lol.
Jane Austin shaking her head in her grave.. a female teacher who did not understand the point of her work.." If he knows what's good for him he'll fix himself." Maybe she was more of a Bronte fan who was all about the " I can fix him" fantasy... or worse Mary Shelley, " I can make him."
What a funny reference to female writers. Now it made me want to read Bronte. Jane is a little extreme. That is why she did not get married.
You know, I really think judges and parole board members should be the first places ex-inmates get to live when released. Maybe then, these people will think twice about the impact of their decisions.
A while back I wanted to be a criminal psychologist.
Now after Dr Grande I want to be a comedian!
Good choice, much better to be a comedian than a criminal.
Drinking to me is the most glaring common denominator. So many problems happen when alcohol is involved 😢
Drink brings out the true person, in his case he was an angry bitter jealous man who was unfit to be around women.
The best way to predict future behavior is to look at past behavior
Another example of our messed up justice system!! He should've never been let out !! Prayers for the victims 🙏 And thank you Dr for all your hard work !!
This is a sad story. A couple of years ago a friend of mine lost her daughter. Her daughter had been dating a man who had been in prison for attacking his ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend with a knife. After the man was released from prison he met my friend's daughter. He was possessive and jealous. When my friend's daughter broke off the relationship with this man he stole her phone and started posting erroneously on her snap chat. My friend's daughter went to Hudson, New Hampshire to visit friends. When she got home the man she had broken up with was waiting for her. He got into her pick up truck and shot her in the head. The summer before my friend's daughter was murdered my friend lost her oldest son.
About 45 years ago I worked with a waitress at a restaurant. She went on a date with a male prisoner from a minimum security prison in our town. So minimum, in fact, that if you drove on the back road where the facility was, you could see inmates playing baseball or fishing on the little bridge you drive over. But in that year, or within a couple years, there were a number of incidents where some prisoners did some awful things in the public. One man hijacked a car using a hatchet. Another man murdered a young teacher in the hotel he was a janitor in a work-release program. I actually saw one escapee calling for a ride at the local bar. Later that night, the police chief knocked on my car window while I was making out with my girlfriend, and asked me if I had seen anything because there was an escaped prisoner. I told him what I saw, a guy at the bar earlier who looked like he was trying to be secretive and using the phone and telling whoever he was talking to where to pick him up.
But in my friend's case, the prisoner she "dated" sliced her face 22 times with a knife. She lie there covered in blood pleading with the man to just let her die. He left, but she didn't die and is alive today, but her face had terrible scars for life. I really can't explain women, this thing they have about "bad boys," that often turns out like the rest of us would expect. As for the minimum security prison, it was closed with finality not long after.
Why did he always take off his pants and get arrested in his underwear? Once questionable but twice?
Blaming this on alcohol seems lazy. Most people who drink obviously do ‘not’ stab their partners.
Whatever is at the root of this man’s rage and jealousy issues - it’s undoubtedly more than alcohol.
Narcissistic nature at heart.
@@jimmyf2077Alcohol helps to reveal what the individual has hidden inside them, removing inhibitions. The alcohol just helps to bring it out... but it's something inside the individual that existed in any case.
@@Liverpool5095 I think they intended to point out that it may be "sleeping" inside the person until they wake it up using alcohol, but you cannot know what's inside you when you are drunk before you are, so if alcohol was not that common, the evil might have been, in some cases, sleeping all their life without ever waking up...
Drink people are not safe and are not to be trusted.
Some people become irrationally and violently angry when consuming alcohol, some don't. Please avoid the first type.
How horrific! Such tragic cases for both Michelle (and her son) and Kay😪
Just like infidelity, the intoxication hardly leads to anything good.
I’ve witnessed so many terrible things in my life, and fortunately, I’ve never developed a desire for alcohol.
I can not tell you how many men I've known that act like this. Extraordinarily insecure & jealous which leads to a smothering controlling nature.
Hardest working podcaster. Thank you Dr. Grande!
He should have never been released from prison, and she knew what she was getting into to
I am curious as to whether there may perhaps be some degree of grandiosity or narcissism with women who date criminals? I've not considered it from this perspective before but I do wonder if they somehow believe they're so special that they can turn the offender into a good person. I know they'll be a high degree of low self-esteem within this group, but I wonder what else might be going on. Further, could there be some degree of certainty whilst dating a criminal, almost 'I know they are a bad person; I can't therefore be taken by surprise". I find it fascinating.
Possibly I would think. Plus, the guy would be dependent on them to some degree.
Codependents.
Surprisingly enough,, some women seem to hang out with criminals because they feel they'll be safer...... That is, when they go out, that the tough guy persona of a criminal will keep them protected........ Of course, the guy just getting into a serious fight over nothing might be sort of a problem, but I suppose they don't consider that......
What could go wrong?
When a woman is desperate - in this case it baffles me why, she’d believe anything.
It’s too bad that even being aware of what this trash was capable of, someone somewhere would be willing to take a chance with the trash.
A lack of character judgement is to blame here.
I think this was the first time in an intro where Dr. Grande states there was a first and second crime.
Both my ex husbands were violent alcoholics. They didn’t always drink a lot but when they did they were monsters. One time my 2nd husband of 23 years and I went to New Orleans. We got separated on Bourbon Street and there was no phone reception so I went back to our room one block over and waited on him to come home. When he did he was in a rage snarling and growling throwing lamps at me I quickly threw my stuff in a suitcase and ran out of the room drug the suitcase down two flight of stairs (couldn’t wait on the elevator or he would catch me) threw my suitcase in the car and drove three hours home at one in the morning. He had to take a greyhound bus home the next day and I refused to pick him up at the bus station.
Unfortunate & ill advised risk on her part. He's disgusting, intruder excuses are ridiculous. Can't always blame alcohol..mostly its the person's mental illness/darkness underneath. Thanks Dr G😊💚💚
Maybe their attorneys come up with these ridiculous excuses.
@@aliciagriggs8531 Unlikely. They're not allowed to lie.
How does a woman with her education not see the warning signs and just hook up anyway? A fatal folly of foolishness.
It's called hybristophilia
Ugly and desperate for love.
Omg I got wrapped into a very similar scenario, viscious people attach themselves to kind people.
The fear of being alone is profound enough in some to lull them into taking huge chances; they ignore historical evidence and ongoing evidence of peril every single day until it is too late. The alcohol just offered a break from acknowledging the danger for a while, and then it became the accelerant to the fire that had always been smoldering.
He was always going to murder someone. If it wasn't Kaye it would have been someone else.
Daily reminder of how much people suck
and why it's better to be lonely
Daily!
@@RabidCulture-fr6cx alone need not mean lonely. Jesus, I place my trust in Thee 🙏
@@mangafq8 I still live in reality vs fantasy clouds to cope.
This dude is coward. Both times waited until he was alone to be violent which tells you his behavior wasn’t all that clouded by alcohol. In the second crime he never went for the guy, his misogyny is nauseating.
I truly hope he never gets out of prison!!!!!
When others go dark on Black Friday, you bring the light, Dr. Grande! Thank you for giving redeeming value to this story. When you say, “Matthew betrayed a lover who believed in him for his one true love, alcohol,” you reveal a truth oftentimes overlooked. You give me pause to think.
I feel horrible for all involved.... including the other dancing man. Dude did nothing wrong and a woman was executed because of it.
I was thinking this too! Obviously it wasn't the man's fault at all, but I imagine he feels horrible 😞
I think that defence’s explanation of some intruder should not be allowed - it’s a blatant lie and perjury
Leave it to an attorney who’s “just doing his job.” smh
Exactly. They need to prove this; otherwise a pathetic attempt to avoid consequences.
@@pipermccool You don't like defence attorneys? You'd dislike the alternative far more.
By the way, plenty of defence attorneys are in fact very people.
@@It-is-me...Melsie... This is true..... In the absolutely horrific instance of the Lululemon murder case,, one female black store employee killed a female white store employee by bludgeoning her with about 12 different steel tools she found in a toolbox, beating her 349 times, and when asked how many blows the victim was conscious for, the corner said, all of them... HORRIBLE case that started out with the defendant,, her first name is Brittany I can't remember her last name, claiming that both her and jana, the other store employee, were accosted by two robbers and Brittany was s assaulted while Jana was murdered....... Turned out Brittany was lying,, she wasn't actually s assaulted,, Jenna had caught her stealing something and Brittany became so enraged she just snapped....... And at one point in the trial, her attorney just basically said, yes, Brittany did it....... She snapped...... In this way, keeping her out of first-degree premeditated and he kept it as a first degree unpremeditated whatever that means, even though the horrific nature of the crime meant that she will never see another free day......
@@pipermccool..there are some like that,, once when I was waiting for my pretrial for drugs,, this public pretender who was defending this black guy, said, your honor my client claims he's the victim of racist treatment by the police and by the homeowner. My client was traveling down the road with his friend, the car broke down, and my client went to get help...... He went to a farmhouse door at 2:00 a.m., knocked, and even though it was pretty warm decided that it was an emergency so he had to go in the house to use the phone...... The door was unlocked, my client denies forcing the door even though there was evidence that the door was forced, and was looking around for the telephone. My client was using a flashlight that he brought along because he thought he might need to look for a telephone in the middle of the night, and my client was ooking in drawers and in the pantry closet only because my client was searching for the telephone. My client said he didn't turn on a light because he already had a flashlight, and he was so shocked when the homeowner appeared with his own flashlight, holding a 12 gauge shotgun, that a knife that my client didn't bring with him and that wasn't from inside the house, magically appeared in his hand, and when the homeowner said drop the knife and turn on the light, boy, my client immediately did as he was asked, and immediately lay on the floor when the big bad white homeowner told him to and proceeded to call the police. When the police got there, they asked my client, a black man from inner city minneapolis, what he was doing cruising with his friend in the middle of the night in a rural area 35 mi north of the city where he didn't know anyone. My client explained his story,, he and a friend were looking for an apple orchard that they could visit when it got light (and apparently when it got to be September because this was early may,, 1992,, in central Minnesota) said the homeowner was just a big bad racist who doesn't understand that black people should be allowed to just open people's doors and root around for things in the middle of the night,, that he wanted to charge the homeowner for basically kidnapping or some related stupid ass s***, and the cops just chuckled and said, we'll see what happens in court....... The homeowners shotgun was not taken,, mainly because there wasn't a round in there when the police got there,, and anyway that my client is claiming to be completely innocent.
Prosecuting attorney starts asking, you say you were with your friend right? Yeah. And you say your friend's car broke down so you went to get help. Yeah. So why didn't the police find your friend or his car when they got there? He must have got it running. And he didn't come back to pick you up? No. And he was your friend? Yes. So you say you went to the homeowners door and knocked is that right? Yeah. And they didn't answer? No. So you went in? Yeah. Did you force entry? No. The police report says the door looks like it was forced. Maybe someone forced it some other time. Uh-huh. So you already had a flashlight when you went in? Yeah. Do you always carry a flashlight when you're cruising in a car? I think the defense attorney objected to that because it was irrelevant or something, and the prosecutor just waved it off and said,, so you were looking for a telephone. Yeah. In drawers and in the refrigerator. Well I don't know where people keep their telephone. But you didn't turn on the light to make it easier for you to see the telephone. I guess I didn't think of it. So when the homeowner came in, what happened? He called me the n-word and told me to get my butt on the floor or he blow my head off. So you got on the floor? Yeah. Did he ask you why you were in his house? Yeah.
At this point the prosecutor just sat there and waited, just staring at the guy. I was staring back and forth like it was a tennis match, a purely incredulous look on my face, and the prosecutor finally said loudly, AND YOU F****** SAID? I was looking for a phone. So you say in the statement, the homeowner was a racist. Yeah. Why? Because he thought I was there to steal something. Did he ask if you were there to steal something? No. Your friend had pretty good luck, getting his car running and making it back home. But of course, with the situation, we have to look for him too. Pause. You wouldn't want to tell us his name, maybe he can confirm your story? No I better not.
No further questions your honor.
I couldn't help it, it wasn't my case and it wasn't my business but I started laughing..... The judge didn't really buy it either and set the guy's bail at $100,000 or some ungodly sum,, I was being charged with having an amphetamine lab and my bail was only $40,000...
Point is you won't BELIEVE what some attorneys will say, even if they're not being paid for it really.......
I quit drinking 13 years ago after two trips to rehab and it is my experience that as addiction is such a personal thing in why people drink, that the ways and reasons that they can change or be unreasonable when drunk, are a personal “thing” as well and usually are consistent. That is why some alcoholics constantly repeat stories or talk about the same subjects consistently when they are intoxicated. If someone is violent only when intoxicated, then it’s usually a good rule of thumb to avoid that person when they drink alcohol.
Well yeah but it's easy for us to say,, she was wrong, but in nine out of 10 cases she would have been right... In AA they say, about one third of people who go to rehab or some other Rock bottom events, stop right away, another third may relapse continuously but show some improvement, and the out of luck last third don't consider quitting and their life probably gets worse.... She drew that out of luck last choice,, and I prefer to think of her as a compassionate but naive woman who tried and the only jerk in this story is the idiot who killed her.......
It amazes me how women choose guys like this, while I (an accomplished man who wouldn’t hurt a flee) could barely get a response to a ‘good morning’ greeting when I was on a dating site.
Most dating site profiles aren’t actually active. They make it hard to delete your profile on those sites because more members means selling more subscriptions.
I know someone who uses fake pictures on a dating site profile because she likes the attention but she would never actually go out on a date.
Most of us women would not go near a criminal, and I for one wouldn't go near anyone who's harmed an animal let alone stabbed someone multiple times.
@@It-is-me...Melsie of course I’m not speaking of all women, just the ones that have and do.
"I can change him" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
People under estimate how much alcohol can change or amplify some some people until it’s too late. This guy is what we call a real Dr heckle and Mr Hyde.
Alcohol is a substance that affects different people in very different ways. Some people do get nicer upon consuming but others can turn into monsters. Generally, alcohol is a very bad 'drug' that most people do not understand or appreciate the consequences of its use.
There were more women he terrorized who testified at the sentencing phase 😢 RIP Kay.
Great analysis! Unfortunately she was so blinded by love that she could t see that she was dancing with the devil😢🌵🩷
I’ve watched every single one of Dr. grandes UA-cam videos. I no longer go to bars (not even to eat food ) and I drink about five times a year -only on special occasions.
You should analyze why women are attracted to criminals. 😶
Some women. Not all.
Trauma. The more neurotic the woman the higher likelihood to date an antisocial. It’s evolutionary. Dating the biggest junkyard dog equals safety! Especially in dangerous societies! Dating the mafia boss is the best option. Willing to bet money she has some childhood abuse.
Hybristophilia…
Not only women. Men also. Look at all the men the awful Susan Smith has fawning over her.
Dark triad traits
No sympathy for Kay - she specifically picked him from prison, and disrespected his first victim in doing so.
The only positive here is no kids were involved, unlike in the case of Faith Green. She picked a prisoner who slaughtered his whole family.
She supported him, campaigned for his early release and then married him. The prisoner thanked Faith by slaughtering her family too.
I fully want to agree with you. But most of us get to mess up and not get killed. Who hasn't thought they'd be the different one for someone that treated them like $hit?
If this is not blaming the victim, how is it different from victim blaming? I am curious. Is every victim of a violent crime worthy of blame for their injury or demise?
@@MarieBSleepin Most of us mess up without getting killed, because we don't mess up to the point of dating extremely violent prisoners.
I fully DO agree with you. I can only imagine that Kay's thought process went something along the lines of "oh, Michelle must have just not been strong enough to handle him. He just didn't love her enough to change. He won't hurt me cause I'm somehow better than her." Just complete disrespect and disregard for this woman. She somehow thought that she wouldn't make the same mistakes or mess up or make him mad ever, which just implies that Michelle must have somehow done something wrong, something so outrageous that this good normal gentle man was driven to blind homicidal rage. KAY was the victim-blamer in this scenario.
In no way did she deserve what happened, but she KNEW what she was getting into. I have zero sympathy for her either. She walked into a fire and thought she was too good to be burned.
@@troy3456789 By your logic, blaming a drink driver who gets killed is "victim blaming".
I'm not saying she DESERVED it - only that she deliberately took an extreme risk, when she had endless partners to choose from outside of prison.
Getting arrested covered in blood and without pants twice in your life???? What a jerk
So sad. She seemed like a lovely person. 🌹 This guy? What a piece of work. There should be deep psychological research into these insane type personalities that so heartlessly hurt others. "Hope" doesn't count here. I find it hard ro believe that his "craziness" wasn't identified in the time he was incarcerated. Justice is truly blind, especially when degree holding humans aren't schooled enough and/or smart enough to notice. Three years holding him obviously didn't change him. He's pathologically narcissistic, and when filled with evil spirits; he was homicidal. I believe this murder was avoidable. 💭🙏🏼👼🏼
9:44-9:48...This is a VERY accurate statement, regardless of alcohol use. Very insightful.
2.4k in 7 minutes, nice Dr G!
Another version of this case states Kay was present during Matthew's trial and was giving the woman he attempted to kill nasty looks.
System fails again after the heinous first attack combined with Kay's gullibility to buy into this clown. Matt's prison BFs better beware if hooch finds its way into the slammer.
Florida...again!!!
"I never thought the leopards would eat MY face," sobbed the woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.
So many unexplainable situations in this world. Thanks, Grande, for bringing us your even and balanced view and analysis of so many of them.❤ We benefit from your videos.
you da bes Dr G
Don't drink.
I have met women like Kay that somehow think they can "fix" guys like Matthew, despite all the warning signs and testimony of others.
Why do women date men like that? He stabs his first girlfriend, and you expect him to not stab you?
Alcoholism is a disease of denial not only with the alcoholic but with family and friends and people around him. They're always convinced convinced they can handle it.
Why would a reasonably attractive teacher want to date a violent prisoner ?
I think many underestimate the severe dangers of alcohol.
I watched this trial. It boggled my mind why such a normal woman who seemed to have her life together would commit to a man who had such a dark history of domestic violence when drunk would stay with him when he showed signs of being aggressive when drunk around her. Also quite staggering how he wasn’t found guilty of attempted murder with his first wife given the severity of her injuries. Maybe a sign of how we still tend to not give the appropriate weight to the impact of DV or victim blaming. Like could Kay have believed on some level that the first wife somehow bought that attack on herself? What makes a person turn a blind eye to so many red flags?
Hard to feel sorry for that woman when she dated a man that was in prison for stabbing his ex smh.
He stabbed his ex 7 times, it shows he was always a murderer. Why date someone that violent?