Depression, divorce, and suicidal thoughts: My story
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- Опубліковано 15 тра 2024
- Hello everyone! Today's video is different than my usual makeup tutorials, but it is something I want to share, in the hopes that I can help even one person. Today I'm sharing the story of the darkest time in my life, when depression and suicidal thoughts were a part of my everyday life. I felt completely alone and helpless, but God had a plan for me. I want you to know that God has a plan for you, and you are never alone. If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, or you are in a toxic relationship like I was, I want to give you hope and tell you there is help and healing waiting for you. You matter. I urge you to get help. Please know that I love you and I am here for you, even if we have never met or talked. I love you.
MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES:
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE: 800-273-8255
Online and Affordable Counseling:
- Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/
- Talkspace (for any services not dealing directly with suicide or illegal activity): www.talkspace.com/
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FACEBOOK bit.ly/3oYaTBP
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I have tears in my eyes commenting this video. I’m in the middle of a divorce after an emotional rollercoaster so similar to yours. There were dark days and the only thing holding me here was the love for my family. Seeing you fulfilled, happy and grateful about how your life turned out, fills my heart with hope of a better future for me, too. The message you posted here is powerful, thank you so much for that ❤️
Daianne, I am sending you so much love dear!!! I am so sorry for the hardships and heartbreak you have gone through. Keep trusting in the Lord and I know your happily ever after will come!! You are stronger than you know and so incredibly and fiercely loved by God, don't ever forget it. xoxox
@@merriemakeupartist ❤️
You too huh? Me too
I hope God has blessed you. But if not keep the faith your day is coming just like mines will. God doesn't work on our time but yet he still never late. All praise be to our Father and all glory go to God. Thank you Jesus!! I hope today you are fully blessed. In the name of the Father Amen!
Attention seeking.....nothing more, men have it so much harder and yet have to deal with rejection and hardships. And no one gives a sh!t about our struggles.....
It's interesting when you said things got better for a short time but then went back to the way it was. This was my experience with my ex husband. He would act like he cared and heard me for maybe a week or so but deep down he was just masking to make me feel comfortable. He didn't think I would leave...and I'm so glad I did. He's a covert narccicist.
Covert narcissist. Something I learnt recently. Hope you are doing well! I’m about 6 weeks out and doing quite well.
Love bombing you for a week or two and then things go right back to where they were! They just want to appease you and in your head you're really thinking this time I know he's really going to change we know how that works right? Basically with that is really about is biggest want to smooth things over because you know how forgiving you are because we're always saying I understand I know you're going through a rough time I love you so much... They eat that shit up! How many times have you said to yourself here we go again!!!
My husband's being telling me that I have to do whatever the hell he's telling because I have no backbone to leave this relationship
Man this hurt. Most comments are from women but as a man I felt this too. I am still struggling with the mess she left and damage caused. Thanks for your story. I hope one day I can find someone who will make me feel safe for the first time in a long time.
I know how you feel
Same way I feel.
I cried while watching this , I've been going through a lot lately , struggling with suicidal thoughts, depression and loneliness😭😭😭
Hello friend, I can connect you to the powerful relationship healer that helped me get my ex back after separation, he can also help you..
Message him on whatspp..
♱18287990585📞📞⏭⏭
Sending you love!! Please don't hesitate to get help. Your best days are yet to come!!
I'm a year 1/2 post-divorce and I feel that things are worse now than what they were before my divorce. I struggle every single day and can't seem to find the closure to my marriage and to move on. Everyday I think about my past and my life when I had a family. I feel like no one understands. Everyone tells me to move on but I just can't. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I pray all the time that things will somehow get better ~ that one day I'll be happy again. 😞
I've been going through all these things after my husband of 35 yrs told me he wanted his freedom. I was more than devastated & I thought of ending it many times & still do off & on. I still love him so deeply & I just can't accept the fact that he's doing this.
Thank you so much for your story; I definitely identify with you. But my husband was never abusive in any way. I never ever saw this coming. I'm still in shock over it all & still in a tremendous amount of pain. But thank you again. I really appreciate you telling your story.
Kathy I'm experiencing the same thing. I will pray for you as I need much prayer. I've been married 31 years. I know God can restore, the question is will He? Stay strong.
I’m going through the exact same and I also felt like ending my life but I can’t because I have two beautiful kids to live for. My heart is crushed. I’m hurt, lonely, angry as hell and lost. I don’t know WHY I’m so unworthy of unconditional love and happiness. I literally give up on ever being more than just a mom.
I’m so sorry Kathy.❤️ Please don’t give up hope. You are not alone and there is a beautiful future ahead of you!
God can and will restore, I promise! I have seen it time and time again in my life. I promise you, with all my heart, you are worthy of tremendous blessings, don’t give up hope!❤️
You hang in there mama, don’t you dare give up, or give into the lie that you are unworthy of unconditional love. I promise God is a compensatory God, and He WILL come through and bless you beyond your wildest dreams. If it’s not good, God isn’t done working yet. Sending you love ❤️
You said “if this video can help just one person….”
Well, as a 60 year old man who knows nothing about makeup I came across your video while having the same thoughts as you did back then.
This video helped so much when I first watched it and I have come back to say Thank You. Thank you so much and I really REALLY think you need to speak to groups of people and share your story. It is so genuine and from your heart. I can’t thank you enough!
Your comment means so much.❤️ Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I wish you all the best and a bright future!!!
Don't feel too bad, I am a 50 year old woman, and sadly, I don't know much about makeup either! This video helps me too!
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Sounds like he was a narcissist. Gosh, it’s easy for anyone to be manipulated by a narcissist. You’re such a brave woman for sharing your story ❤️
Thank you so much :)
Going through something similar. I’m on the guys end though. I was such a shity man when I met her and I could be such a good boyfriend but I would slip up and hurt her so often.. I couldn’t emotionally grow up. If I felt like she was in a bad mood it out me in a worse one. If I felt like she was being mean I would try to be even meaner. It’s hard when your compulsive and can’t control how you feel and communicate. I’m starting to change.. I seeked counseling, I’ve worked on my communication, I’ve worked harder on my goals.. unfortunately my marriage is over and even though I tried to change and prove that I could change; she had already moved on, she said she’s happy, and for me to move on. I’ve tried so hard to make this work and to improve for her and myself and it just didn’t work.. I’m having a hard time being on my own.. opportunity, growth, and passion are only worth it when it’s with someone you love.. I hope men out there realize that your wife’s emotions and feelings do matter.. maybe that dream you had doesn’t matter.. maybe your marriage is the best and biggest thing In your life and you just need to realize it..
Wow, I am blown away by your humility and emotional maturity. It takes a great deal of both to own up to one’s past mistakes. I just know you will have great things and wonderful fulfillment in your future. Thank you for your comment!
Wow! It’s great that you know and acknowledge where you went wrong. Wishing you continued healing.
Your dreams matter. Improve for yourself, not others. Than everything you want will come to you.
❤ Thank you for sharing! I just ended a toxic relationship and narcissistic marriage. I can relate to so many things you shared. I am trying to overcome the trauma I endured. I am so grateful I found your video.
Sending you love! You’ve got this!❤️
As a divorced Christian woman, I resonate so much with your story and I appreciate you sharing to know I’m not alone 🤍
happy days will come back what is needed is to keep believing because giving up is not an option.i never dreamt that my marriage will fall apart but yooo life has got surprises.i know one day God make it happen i will rejoice again
I’m in the middle of divorce right now and your video has helped me realize that this pain won’t last forever and God has a plan for my life. I’ve felt so lost. Thank you ❤
You truly blessed me with your story! I cried the entire time because your story is the same as mine, You gave me hope today.
I am a therapist and was looking for help for a client - I found your video - it really helps me both delve deeper into what they are going through but I will also share this - I think it’s important that people can connect with others who have gone through the same things. Thank you for what you do - May God abundantly bless your channel.
Thank you so much❤
Thank you. I’m listening to this a day after he moved out and it is so relatable. Thank you for helping me feel less alone
Thank you so much for sharing! 🤍🙏🏼 So relatable!
Thank you so much for this. I’m in the heat of the same exact thing, divorcing in abusive marriage. It feels like life won’t get better but you are proof that it can. Im so depressed and needed to hear this.
It WILL get better, I promise. Sending you love and hugs!!
Yes I get it, I wish I was dead right now I get the comfort feeling of not being around anymore. If someone you loved treated me this way what could I expect from others so that's how I feel
I'm praying for you the pain is real.
Thank you so much for your transparency!! I NEEDED THIS💗
😭😭😭 thank you for sharing your story. It meant so much !
Thank you so much for this video. Your story and advice really helped me.
Thanks for sharing! I needed this!
Wow I really felt you in the part that watching other you tubers and makeup saved you. That hit me so hard . You tube has been my escape since I was around 12 . I feel so much comfort watching my favourite you tubers
Thank you 🙏 this video means so much when someone understands every emotion you mentioned. Trying to get out of my darkness.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed this today.
You did so well! I am happy for you. Thank you for reaching out, being honest and open to helping others. Don’t forget to love those animals and nature. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story❤
Thank you for your honesty and admitting that the signs were always there yet you chose to look the other way. Most people don't even admit that and seem surprised when things go south. Good luck with your new relationship and don't ignore the signs.
So happy that you shared your story. It is inspiring and gives hope to others. Appreciate your vulnerability. I am so glad that you are remarried and happy. Love it!
Thank you for this 😢
I get this. It hits home so hard. Thank you for sharing ❤
You’re a very BEAUTIFUL soul. Thank you and so glad your happy your words are so meaningful.❤️
This is the kindest video that I have ever seen. Thank you for your kindness ❤️
Thank you SO much for sharing this. I am in tears watching it and seeing your example of going through something so heartwrenching and coming out happy once again. It gives me some hope while my marriage is ending. Your story is helping others through their situations. Thank you!
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that. It helped me feel like someone knows how I feel.
Thank you, Merrie. I am going through this exact situation and needed to hear this. God bless you and for having the courage to discuss this. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing 🙏🏽♥️
Merrie this video has helped me so much. I listen to it on repeat. Thank you. God bless.❤️
Thank you for being so honest and showing the listeners that God cares and helps🙏
Thank you so much for this. I really needed this....
Thank you so much for this video. I was sobbing throughout, because I could relate so much to what you said. I especially needed to hear "God loves you." I forget that often.
Thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you so much for sharing this🤎 God bless you, your family, and you business
Thank you so much for sharing your story, there are two things that make the most impact on me, “you have to stay here” and “I love you, even though I don’t know you”.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so encouraging. I recently divorced and 28 year old. Also married very young at the age of 22. After 3 moths, I am still dealing with the detachment process, blame, resentment and some regrets. I am doing my best to go back to love myself again and embrace the current emotions to the end of being back in peace. Again, thanks for your video and wish you the best luck.
This was so beautiful, Merrie. You are such a light to everyone and I'm so glad you chose to stay so we can know you.
Thank you so much Kailie💗💗💗
You are seriously amazing for sharing your story with us! ❤️ i could really feel the sadness as you told this and I just wanted to reach through and hug you!!! I love your videos and I’m so glad your here to share your talent and beautiful face!!
Thank you so much Bree!! Thank you for all your love and support over the years. You are amazing!!❤️
Thank you sweet, beautiful lady for your encouragement! May God hold you in his hug always ❤
You are one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life.
Thanks for sharing your story and your testimony!! Very brave and I’m sure many will benefit from your experience.
Thank you so much Kami!!💗💗💗
You are amazing, Merrie! Thank you for sharing your story, it was inspired. So many people need to hear this message and know that life is still worth living and your story is proof of that.
Thank you so much Cece!! Everything you said really means so much.❤️❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. I relate very much to your story and am still battling a lot. How amazing for you to be where you are now. All the best to you. 💓
Hi you such an amazing woman.if you need a friend to talk to am here.am going through a lot as well but i can feel that its almost over .
wow such a powerful testimony! brought me to tears..i can see how difficult this was for you to film but glory to God for using you and for you being obedient to share this with millions here on YT! you're an angel and just look at how God is blessing you in abundance for being the hands and feet of Jesus...I came across your bridal makeup videos and then fell in love with her calming voice overs and amazing work of course so I had to stick around and see more, then this 🥲 so encouraging for many..thanks for being fearlessly you! 🙌🏾❤
I love you Merrie♥️♥️ This is helping so many women! You are so inspiring 💕
Thank you Angie!! I love you too!💗
I am crying because you opened my eyes!
thank you so much this has really helped me today x
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I am feeling very emotional. What a powerful testimony and openness you have. I feel like we have had similar experiences. Thank you for sharing your story. Your life has definitely GLOWed UP! I am so happy you found true happiness. :)
I’m sending you so much love!!!! I love what you said about a life glow up-it’s so true!! I’m sorry you have had similar hard experiences, you are so strong.💗
Thank you for opening up ❤
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Merrie, thank you for sharing your story. You are a beautiful soul. I love your vulnerability, strength, and faith. ❤️
Thank you so so much!! xoxoxo
Now you need a video of how you met your husband, how things were different dating than the previous, how you trusted again when you knew he was the one, how long you dated and all that fun stuff!! 👏 I always ask these questions to my brides it’s so fun!!
I love asking these questions to my brides too! It’s always so fun to hear people’s love stories! I might have to film a video like that in the future😊
Right. I didn’t understand what happened or what she was so sad about.
You’re amazing, Merrie! I am so glad you’re here and using your beautiful voice 💕 love you, girl!!
Thank you Brittanie! Love and miss you.💗💗💗
This takes a lot of courage to speak on, you are beautiful inside and out. As as fellow makeup artist I'm so happy you have found your joy. Wishing you all the best!
Thank you so much Emily!! That truly means so much. xoxo
Thank you so much. You have given me the strength to go on and see I some much needed help.
You are a truly wonderful person and should be very proud of yourself.
I hope you are doing well!! Sending you love and hugs❤️
Thank you for sharing your story, your experience will help a lots of people; God is always blessing the strong and brave people. Love you!
Thank you Gina!! I love you so much!
when you said you felt "peace" for the first time in a long time, I felt that so bad. I am still waiting for that moment where I feel that peace
I am going through so much pain and i feel so much better after listening to you ❤
Ty so much for your sincere testimony ❤❤❤❤ I can totally resonate with your story. I too went through suicide ideation. I’m so glad we are both here today!!! GOD IS SO GOOD
This made me love you even more. Thanks for being vulnerable and for sharing, Merrie. 💖
Thank you Lizzie❤️❤️❤️
Just thank you .now I know I wasn’t the only one
Thanks for posting this. I’m going thru something similar. This meant a lot.
What a beautiful testimony! May the Lord bless you for sharing this and the people that need to hear this!
Thank you so much Irina!!
I’m so glad you’re still here Merrie. You are a wonderful, beautiful person.
Thank you Megan. xoxoxo
This is a beautiful video and you are such a beautiful kind soul. Thank you.
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I am going through the same, my wife said she wanted a divorce and went through with it in a period of 2 months. I tried everything, seeking help together, trying to make it work, restore it. Change my attitude, ask for forgiveness, for my attitude, behaviour and mistakes. She did not want to try anything. I am feeling so lonely and rejected. We have 3 kids, I moved to Europe for her and now I am all alone, no close friends or family. I am trusting God for a miracle. I do not know what to do 😢
😢I know how you feel. My husband also dosent want to be with me anymore💔😭.Im so scared💔
@@phelokazisijula5627well, I am so grateful to have found because I’m going through this right now as well. 😢🥺😭 sending so much love and hugs 🫂 to you.
Hi there, how are you doing now? I pray that you are doing better. I'm going through this now. It's horrible and I don't wish it on my worst enemy.
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@@phelokazisijula5627I am now going through the same thing, I hope everything worked out for you
This was wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much❤❤❤
You have a beautiful smile. I'm glad you're still here ❤
Every word, every experience just feels like my story ! Thank you for sharing this, this has saved atleast one life today for which you will get lost of blessings❤❤!!
Just tell yourself everyday that you can ,believe in yourself sending hugs to you.i went through depression after i got divorced i really wanted to make it work but just imagine the pain i was having someone cheating 4 times and i will just forgive her.after all i got told am mot man enough i never dreamt that my marriage will fall apart but yooo life has got surprises
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story!
can so relate to you... I went through the same. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for sharing... You are such an inspiration and I found great comfort and encouragement in your story. I'm going through a divorce right now and my story is very similar to yours... I was a virgin and devout Christian when I married my husband at 31... Thought I found the love of my life and didn't believe in divorce or understand abuse at the time... We've been together 10 years and have two small kids and he has been verbally and emotionally and a few times physically abusive with me... But it was very subtle at first and grew more and more over the years... It's been hard because there were seasons where I truly thought he was progressing and changing but it's been a vicious cycle. I'm grieving because I'm now 41 with a 5-year-old and a 3 year old and I never thought I would be a single mother. On one hand I'm grieving the loss of a dream and a person I thought I knew... On the other hand I'm hopeful and relieved to be moving on to a new chapter I trust that God has great plans in store for us. Again thank you for sharing and being transparent:)
Hello love! I am so sorry for the difficulties and darkness you have experienced! I'm sorry that life has turned out so different than you imagined. You are a beloved daughter of God and He isn't finished with his unimaginably beautiful plan for you. I am sending you hugs and love! xoxo
The similarities between your story and my story are mind-blowing
You posted this one year ago, but I needed to see it now. Thank you for sharing your story and your heart with us. I appreciate you.
Sending you love and prayers!!❤️
I needed to hear this.
Thank you for this massage ❤️ Im in this moment now. Make up is my escape. But this week my thoughts are terrible 😢. I’m out of the abusive relationship almost 2 years but went back for 2 weeks in summer. And it gone worse.
Watched the video with tears. It is truly amazing how courageous you were to step out of the traumatic relationship. Thank you for sharing your experience with the women going through a similar trauma. It is not easy to get out of a narcissistic relationship. It is scary. It was a moment of true happiness when you said that you are now married to a wonderful person. Yes. As you said, we matter. ❤ ❤️
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"You have to stay here.." I felt that in my soul...
What a heartfelt and sincere video. Great communicator; keep it up!
Thank you so much!! I appreciate your kind comment. xoxo
Feeling alone and depression is taking me to dark place , but my kids keep me going, marriage is a toxic mess from manipulating narcissistic wife, thank you watching this video makes me feel I'm not alone . thank you
Important video! Thank you
I can relate to her thinking about how ending her life brought comfort.
You’re very blessed to have such a happy life at such a young age. Your bad experience pit things in perspective. At 71, I still experience depression and suicidal thoughts. I’m glad for you, but you can’t promise an amazing life for anyone. Still you give good advice.
You are beautiful inside and out. Wish you all the blessings in life that you can get.
Thank you so much for this. You don’t even know how much you spoke to my soul; God spoke through you. Your story really resonated with me. You encouraged me and gave me hope that God has not forsaken me and that things will all work out the way it should, even if I can’t see it now. God bless you 🙏🏾💕
I am sending you so much love!!! Things will get better, I promise. God has a beautiful plan for you!
@@merriemakeupartist You are ray of sunshine ☀️. Thank you 🙏🏾.
Thank you for sharing this
hey dearly I'm a living testimony of a great Dr Daniel the relationship restorer only healer who fixed back my broken relationship after being separated for months. He can also help you too no matter how worst the case maybe Dr Daniel will put a smile on your face honey within 3days🚀🚀🚀🚀
Whats@pp him now 🚀🚀🚀
I just left my marriage of 17 years, is being one year and I am still so Sad 😭 I have 3 kids one of them with disabilities. I moved in with my parents we live in one bedroom, we don’t have a lot of money, no vehicle ex kept everything, I had to leave to many problems , I was not valued,respected . Now I am trying to move one and it has being so hard 😢 I lost my self worth, and because I have no job my sibilings had no respect . I just pray and hope to feel better and stronger soon. 😢
Praise God- thank you so much.
Feeling the same pain, glad you found peace.
I'm sending you love and prayers! You can get through this!!
I needed to hear this😢
This randomly popped up, and I'm assuming because my life has been crazy.
My wife of 8 years left 7 months ago, with a random guy. I found out my son wasn't my son, and now I'm a single father.
I've kinda lost myself but my son is keeping my eyes open.
I wish you the best of luck, and I hope the last 5 months have helped.
I'm so sorry John, my heart goes out to you. God has a beautiful way of turning a mess into a miracle--don't give up hope.
Thank you so much, your video is really god sent for me right now because I am in the same situation and it's been only 2 months I have been married.
This helped at a very dark moment today. Thank you.
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oh my word, im going through a divorce as well, and im so grateful that you shared your story. thank you for being vulnerable.
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, I am sending you love and prayers! Thank you for your sweet comment.
Going through with the same pain
This message let's people know they're not alone. But God can also deliver you from anxiety and get off the medication.
Thanks for sharing 🙂