I'd like you to cover more on verbal abuse and how it'll affect you in adulthood since verbal abuse can cause stuff like depression, anger issues, and anxiety
1:01 you fall inlove with potential, not people 1:43 you ignore red flags 2:24 you use them to escape reality 3:02 you avoid conflict 3:45 there's no emotional intimacy 4:30 theres no sacrifice or compromise 5:00 you've lost yourself in love 5:27 a superficial relationship 5:52 you feel an empty happiness
This actually educates me since I've never known what a fantasy bond is, so this really gets me to truly know that I'm not in a fantasy bond. If you want to ask somebody out, go right ahead and have the confidence!
@@elvinfp peachy. What the point in doing anything though Knowing everything I do for her has been a facade Some of my best changes came from the idea of eventually changing enough to where I'd be with her Knowing this is all a ruse, now what. There's no point in taking care of my body. No point in running for class president. No point in going out for sports. What am I supposed to do without any motivation?
@@Dastorm Do it, dummy~ Have your 'revenge' be that you're genuinely _happier_ with yourself for moving on. I'm in the same boat. Finally taking care of _myself_ in ways that I *would've* been doing _all this time_ if _someone_ **(cough cough **_Mom)_**** would've let me do from the start. Codependent women _(suuuuuck)._ My best revenge? Heal myself. 😁 And I have courage and confidence in _you_ that you can figure out how to do the same. Stay open to possibility, and let _real_ love in when it presents itself.
Well, the idea of love is all I've ever really had, so I guess a fantasy bond would be a step up for me. It's funny... I've learned so many things about keeping a relationship together. If only I knew how to start one.
Honestly I think that sometimes being too dreamy and dreaming a lot about crushes isn't actually a bad thing. As long as you know that it's just a fantasy and could not be exactly true. Because the feeling is still extremely positive and sweet. For a lot of people it really helps them cope with the hardships of life and actually feel a lot of happiness. So I'd say it's actually a good thing! 😊🥰💕
Yea, I get your point. As long as you dont take it too far and dont get to attached to the fantasy its not exactly a bad thing. But sometimes it takes constant reminders that its just a fantasy, in which case its not a very good thing and needs to be dealt with. But yes, it can help in certain situations.
You know I've always felt this type of way but never had the words. It felt like I was so in love that when I was alone I would be so confused on why the happiness I felt never felt as deep as it seemed.. I always wondered why I felt better when I was by myself feeling that empty happiness but never knowing why and realizing now part of it is my fantasy of what our relationship could be and only seeing the potential of the person and not the person themselves.. gives me a lot to think about but more clarity. It hurts but I'm thankful. It's hard to say where to go from here but it's nice to know an explanation
what if your fantasy together is your goal? making it better, efficient, satisfying...What if you and another person have a place that is just for the two of you that you can nourish like a garden? A fantasy bond is an ideal vision of the relationship you both must work hard for... it's the same as people who believe in a utopia, and people who are inspired by utopian ideas to makes something less than perfect but still amazing.
I thought it was genuine love because we never got into any conflicts or arguments. But when i saw that avoiding conflict was one of the signs, it hit me. While he’s sweet and all, there were many times where his attitude was.. concerning, to say the least. I dont think he did it deliberately, but ive shed tears because of the things he has said and done. But i never mentioned it because i thought it would be healthier to avoid it, rather than stirring up, what i thought, were “unnecessary” disputes. I've also started letting go of my hobbies, because now all i do is text and talk to him. I guess there’s a chance this was all a fantasy bond after all. Thank you for this, Psych2Go
@@emmaboyett8667 ah right. I forgot about it. I shouldve looked into it before this. I have an anxious attachment style and from how he acts, he may have an avoidant attachment style. I guess we dont really match. Thank you for this!
If you shed tears and he did not respond with concern for your feelings this is not the man for you. Again if you shed tears it is because he crossed some important values and that is a major red flag! Never betray your values for a relationship.keep your dignity you be grateful later.
I just got out of a relationship, realizing that the connection between us wasn't love. This video was something that I needed to see since I was afraid that I did the wrong thing by breaking up even after he begged me not to.Ngl I was blaming myself thinking that I was acting selfish and immature until I saw this vid.Thanks ❤
People don’t like being and vibing alone because for a very long time being alone = is viewed as a something negative and being with someone = something positive or seeing as a happiness. But strategically, and demographically, for centuries, men and women were encouraged to live together simply to have children, that is to say to put more people in this world ! It took centuries after some people began to see that happiness depends on each person ! Even nowadays, the mentality of some people in society does not yet change on this subject and thinks that living alone is depressing or negative, etc because there mentality and the perception of each person are different ! There will never have videos that will encourage people to live and vibing alone in an advertisement for example and seeing as happiness. I’m starting to see little by little in UA-cam videos but it’s very rare ! Most videos is how to be with someone, or like this video fantasy bond, or you have to breakup with your bf, blah blah blah . . . How much you see people very desperate, lunatic, delusional from nonsense thing . . . And think that living alone and vibing alone are the same as loneliness . . . (Which is completely different) The reason why they search some people or feelings to complete inside them . . .
This honestly helped so much, just knowing how I became so attached and confused on why I fell so hard for my ex, because getting over her has been hard but at least I can see clearly now and this video really made me open my eyes.
Timestamps 1). You fall in love with potential not people 1:00 2). You ignore red flags 1:42 3). To use them to escape reality 2:22 4). You avoid conflict at all costs 3:01 5). There's no emotional intimacy 3:44 6). There's no sacrifice or compromise 4:29 7). You're lost yourself in love 5:00 8). A superficial relationship 5:26 9). You feel an empty happiness 5:51 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I clicked this video immediately after getting the notification, because I feel like I have this type of bond with a girl I have a crush on. Even spoke about this (indirectly) with one of my friends from band. I'm starting to reconsider ever getting her phone number (which I got before my junior year ended) and I may just be wasting my time...I may need to look at this video again and see what signs apply to me...
This actually helped me understand the reason why my last relationship ending really didn’t affect me that much and honestly I feel like the majority of these things were happening throughout both sides of the relationship
I was in a fantasy bond for a while and eventually me and that person talked things through:) I this helps me understand what was going on at that moment:) thank you very much for your supportive videos
Oh wow, I didn't expect to find this video as relatable as I did...however, I was absolutely led astray by those ex's because they lied constantly! I did learn to stop ignoring red flags, though....eventually
I've been in fantasy bond since. . .probably before I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia because I've been delusional of having a relationship with some handsome male celebrities I've seen on TV or UA-cam. But after I learned about mindfulness and self love, I realized that those kind of bond is toxic and it's a fantasy bond after I watch this video. 😩 I think I need to learn how to control my delusions with the help of my routine medication that I've got from my psychiatrist. 🤧 It's hard to not thinking and feeling a fantasy bond for me, but I gotta try after I watch this video 😔
Thank you very much. I have not come across fantasy bond idea but it describes very well what I have experienced in my life - admiration of somebody without physical attraction but idealising the person and getting everything done for them.
1:02-- You fall in love with potential,...... 1:43--- You ignore red flags 2:25-- You use them to escape reality 3:02-- You avoid conflict 3:45-- there is no emotional intimacy 4:30-- There is no sacrifice or compromise 5:00-- You have lost yourself in love 5:30-- A superficial relationship 5:54-- You feel an EMPTY happiness
Exactly what i have done in a 32 year marriage. This video is so accurate to the elements in my last 32 years. I chalked it up to bad training. Not learning how to communicate- where these are elements I experienced - but overall I was “In Love” with who he could be. Fantasy Bond
My approach to love might be romantic/fantasizing in theory but practical and patient in practice, like close caring relationships are beautiful but you gotta give it all your nurturing and dedication to sustain them instead of using the other person as a fantasy.
Fantasy is VERY needed for a single person (especially that there is no family and persons to rely on). Without it many people could even commit suicide.
Wow this could not have been timed better, i just got out of a 6year narcissistic abusive relationship and these videos during this tough breakup is showing me so much. How little i know. Thankyou for making these videos. I feel more educated and somewhat safe talking more to people with this information
After watching this, I'd say to fall usually into fantasy love rather than real love :( Some fantasy sure is good and helpful but most failed scenarios really was me daydreaming too much, given what you've said in this video which I too can now see being put well into words.
I think using sacrifice and compromise interchangeably isn't the best way to look at it. Compromise denotes a mutually beneficial agreement where sacrifice is one sided. I would never sacrifice anything completely, but find a compromise that allows both our needs and wants to be met. Perhaps not the exact way we envisioned, but still meeting our needs.
Keep in mind that if you know you can't fully commit to something that's critically important to your partner, it's better to just end things before they start. Always start out what might be a relationship as a close friendship, get to know each other really well before anything serious starts. Make sure you and whoever your partner may be can find a healthy and honest compromise, and if not then just stay friends. I've seen polyamorous (or however you spell that) people who claimed to genuinely love someone who wasn't polyamorous, say that they would stop being polyamorous for that person alone, and pledge loyalty to them alone because they "truly love them". But obviously, every single time in those scenarios, the polyamorous person ends up cheating on their non-polyamorous partner instead of just breaking up with them, most of the time they don't let them know either because they don't want that relationship to end. If that doesn't make sense, forgive me, it's just what I've personally seen 100% of the time, I've yet to see a different outcome. I know that isn't the best example, but it's the most common one I've seen. Also youtube is probably going to remove my comment because it's "hateful" (It's not, it's a cautionary tale based on real life experience. And I have nothing against anyone's opinions, beliefs, etc.)
The first sign I saw was that the captions that showed for this video when I began watching it were in Japanese, lol Otherwise, great and helpful advice! ^-^
Psych2go thank you for always being here whenever I had doubt about relationship and everything your knowledgeble videos are always come to educates me and informe me about various things that I can't even know before that's help a lot for me for everyone ❤❤ and your voice always my favourite girl I wish you happiness 😊
0:50 wow it’s crazy to think I,m no y alone no matter how horrible it seems well I fall on love with people I hate most of the time and also imagine that he would try to notice me but he can’t for whatever reason
I think my ex and I had a fantasy bond. I think she loved her idea of me, not the real me, then the instant I fell off the pedestal she set me on, she took it as total betrayal.
I'm still not sure... I started having feelings for him since I was thinking that it would be so good to love someone. I know I love his personality, not the body, but that's all. Our conversations hurt because I act awkward but he is so nice and he tries to overcome my shyness... sometimes I think I just made my feelings up and sometimes I think it's all real...😢
The body can be fixed easily, just hit the gym, the personality on the other hand not. If he is nice with you and tries to make you overcome your shyness, that speaks for itself, just ask him how he feels about it/sees it, and you can get rid of it for good, you will feel amazing.
Its been 9months since breakup I still daydream about Think of her and say wow how can someone be so fucking beautiful its unreal And think about all the possibilities of what would happen if she was here with me 😔😭
We’re going through the exact same thing. I’m stuck on her beautiful she is and I’ve I would ever find someone as pretty… will I find someone who I can laugh and hand out with…. But I’m realizing there was a lot of things I did not like about her. And these things would become an issue further in the future. So the best option was to break up.
wow. this is exactly what im going through. i have been a hopeless romantic for a long time but ive stopped and now im in a relationship but i am just confused. I related to some of the things in this video for example me trying to mold my partner into what i want them to be at the same time we sacrifice for eachother its like all of them mixed together. I think since its quite early i should give it a little bit and try to be more open and vulnerable about my feelings to them ?
Been confused and feeling conflicted for years, this really explains a lot and helps me understand more. Thanks Psych2Go ❤Your videos are always great at helping me put words to my feelings
This video was really helpful, I've always wondered about my feelings with my partner, and i might think we had a fantasy bond. and it honestly makes much more sense that i expected and explains so much
Hey I kinda need help. “So I kinda recently moved to a public high school and it’s much bigger than my old charter middle school. But I’ve been at my middle school since 1st grade and I had the same friends ever since and since I moved I kinda forgot how to make friends, I became socially awkward, I started to see signs of social anxiety, and most importantly I’ve became depressed due to lack of social communication to other people and well, I don’t really know what to do now. everyone has their own friend group, while I’m over here hiding the fact that I’m depressed. But other people try to talk to me but I respond in a “leave me alone” toned voice, but in reality I want to talk. And I don’t really know what I’m going through right now can you help me?” -yours truly “The 1”
having a fantasy bond to someone while they’re love bombing AND nonchalant towards you goes hard LMFAOAOAOAOOO (i left the situation but still hurts☹️☹️)
Ok so like, I know this is about relationship and stuff😅, but I recently watched...like half of you're whole depression stuff videos because it almost five in the morning and I pulled an all nighter beacuse I couldn't sleep...but what happens if you show most of those signs? But like have no one you know? Like I grew up and was forced to hide everything beacuse of my situation so I could literally be holding a gun to myself and look at someone and be like, yeah, I'm great. But like yeah
Yeah my last relationship, endet up 2,5 months ago, was a mixture of true and this fantasy bond. We both want it but doesnt fit. We Try it several times but u cant escape the truth. And the break up was hard. Very hard😢 The lesson i learned/reminded once more is: Be honest to yourself so you can be honest to other people. Its so important. Because if you honest to yourself and become fine with yourself, you become stable. Find ur inner peace. What probably means you have to face your own demons. Beat your demons and find your balance will shine out of you. It will become part of your energy which other people can sense...and may your further partner too ;) But aim for urself. And the rest will come.
Huh, I was worried I could be having a fantasy bond given how much I idealize my partner (I should change that probably), and how clingy I am with them. But, seeing this, I think our relationship is pretty healthy. I am even more in love with them now.
Just to keep in mind. All of these signs and symptoms can be due to traumatized experiences. That have similar outcomes like avoiding conflict (stone walling). Just talk to your partners and be prepared for whatever happens to be for the best.
Help!!! How do I avoid this happening again then? At this point I don't know what is real anymore :') I don't have much experience dating and tbh it's starting to feel quite daunting...
I have a question. How do males and females bond with each other? I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other. Men and women think very differently from each other. It seems like it's impossible for men and women to emotionally connect with each other. Women do emotionally connect with other women, better than men do. Women can build incredible friendships and become very close to each other in a way men can't bond, and science shows that women can bond very well with each other. Generally, women are even more social than men are. After something bad happens, a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support, whereas a man can isolate himself and grief alone.
Wow, this is going to have a really really _really_ large amount of "That's me" comments, unfortunately. And, *Watering a Plastic Plant* is my new favorite meme for this.. 😔
I find myself fantasizing a lot about being in a relationship. I’ve never been in one. I have certain ideals and expectations but I feel they will never be met by a real person. It’s hard knowing I’ll possibly never be in a relationship due to this. I can’t bear the thought of rejection or heartbreak. I fantasize about relationships I know won’t come true. What does this mean? Is there a deeper meaning behind something like this? I wish to know if anyone is like this as well.
I've had this with one girl where even when we agreed to be platonic we were doing things that I never experienced with a girl and my head interpreted it as a relationship and she cut it off because it became a codependency. Now I'm into a girl who also doesn't like me back and we get along really well as friends and have shared a lot of deep personal connections in both directions (though I feel like I push too hard for it), but she just doesn't feel the same way romantically and partially because of her past. I deeply crave deep emotional connections but even when I think I've formed one it doesn't seem to be returned and I wonder if it was ever love or just a crush. I'm trying to unlike her now to be the platonic friend she needs now, but it's honestly really difficult to let go when this kind of relationship is almost impossible to come by. It doesn't fit the "fantasy bond" described here, but nevertheless I keep being told it's not real and will never be reciprocated. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong if I have all the emotional connection and everything else they say you need to have for a romantic relationship...
1. I form the projection of their potential, based on the information that im able to gather about them. Not necessarily instant, but definitely exists before i get to know them and are usually proven right. 2. I choose the red flags. Id rather know what im dealing with than find out after falling in love
This can apply to friendships as well. This was my situation with a girl I was friends with in the 2nd grade, I had this fantasy about this perfect best friend,who likes all the same stuff I do and it would be us against the world, kind of like the friendships on tv shows like Winx Club and Disney and stuff and I was projecting that onto her, but that wasn't who she was, when she treated me badly or was mean to me and stuff I would ignore it or make excuses for it to preserve the illusion of this perfect friendship where we agreed on everything,never fought etc when when the friendship eventually ended,she decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore and kicked me out of our friend group, I was devastated I was in a depression for over a year.I had to come to terms with the fact that the entire friendship was an illusion and based on my fantasies and that I didn't really know her at all and was putting her on a pedestal.
Wow hahah i jus healed from a fantasy bond. I knew it wasnt love coz U can thate a person u love. Like he was disrespectful, condescending and a cheater. I ignored all red flags
And I'd happily, wait for her but as she said they is not now or ever looking for someone, so I'm well aware that means it wouldn't ever happen. Still glad we are friends though it hurts she is more then worth just being close
@@Dakoda-Scarlettsome people want to be lonely and actually never regret it, both my uncle and aunt are the same. They never got married with someone and they reached their 50s.
I genuinely don't like dreaming about my crush because I know that what I'm thinking isn't actually her. I don't want what my brain is making up, I want her.
From personal experience, it does make you feel emptier inside, bc you have no real connection, you can only miss the surface level things, and the only meaning they give you is physical and visual comfort. Tbh you become disillusioned to who they are, and have an idea of them more than understanding them as a whole.
Question for everyone, how is everyone liking the topics lately? Is there a topic you wish us to cover on? Let us know below!
I'd like you to cover more on verbal abuse and how it'll affect you in adulthood since verbal abuse can cause stuff like depression, anger issues, and anxiety
Im an INFJ, but still suspicious if i am an INFP. Could you make a test for it please?
Anger Issue :D
Personally I’ve loved all the videos I’ve seen you guys posting lately. Love this channel :3
I'm enjoying there being less sexual related topics
1:01 you fall inlove with potential, not people
1:43 you ignore red flags
2:24 you use them to escape reality
3:02 you avoid conflict
3:45 there's no emotional intimacy
4:30 theres no sacrifice or compromise
5:00 you've lost yourself in love
5:27 a superficial relationship
5:52 you feel an empty happiness
3:02 you avoid conflict
Empty happiness is one I feel to much, not that I'm in any relationships though 🫤
Thank you 💙
Thank you!!😊
Thank you 😊
It feels wrong to watch myself being called out in a video.
FRRR
Same 😭😭
Trust that I've been watching psych2go since middle school. You must trust you'll get used to the pain of reality. Lol
Same…
Right 😭
“You know, it's funny; when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.” Wanda from Bojack Horseman
This is actually perfect for me rn because I’ve been being confused on my feelings for a few years.
Glad we released at the right time! If there's another you'd like us to cover more on, do let us know! :)
I have no idea why i got automatic japanese subtitles, but i am loving it
It’s funny, cause the English sub says Default.
Same.One time I got flipino subtitles.
This actually educates me since I've never known what a fantasy bond is, so this really gets me to truly know that I'm not in a fantasy bond. If you want to ask somebody out, go right ahead and have the confidence!
I genuinely hate how much reality this video shattered for me.
Well, now you can begin learning how to form real, meaningful bonds and eventually experience real love.
@@elvinfp peachy.
What the point in doing anything though
Knowing everything I do for her has been a facade
Some of my best changes came from the idea of eventually changing enough to where I'd be with her
Knowing this is all a ruse, now what.
There's no point in taking care of my body.
No point in running for class president.
No point in going out for sports.
What am I supposed to do without any motivation?
@@Dastormlive for you, not for her.
@@normanclatcher hmmmm
We'll see
@@Dastorm Do it, dummy~
Have your 'revenge' be that you're genuinely _happier_ with yourself for moving on.
I'm in the same boat. Finally taking care of _myself_ in ways that I *would've* been doing _all this time_ if _someone_ **(cough cough **_Mom)_**** would've let me do from the start. Codependent women _(suuuuuck)._
My best revenge? Heal myself. 😁
And I have courage and confidence in _you_ that you can figure out how to do the same.
Stay open to possibility, and let _real_ love in when it presents itself.
Well, the idea of love is all I've ever really had, so I guess a fantasy bond would be a step up for me. It's funny... I've learned so many things about keeping a relationship together. If only I knew how to start one.
Fr 😂😂😂
That was a mood
Honestly I think that sometimes being too dreamy and dreaming a lot about crushes isn't actually a bad thing. As long as you know that it's just a fantasy and could not be exactly true. Because the feeling is still extremely positive and sweet. For a lot of people it really helps them cope with the hardships of life and actually feel a lot of happiness. So I'd say it's actually a good thing! 😊🥰💕
I just dream about MONEY and my HOBBIES . . . Totally HAPPINESS
Yes, everything in moderation.
How naive you sound.
Yea, I get your point. As long as you dont take it too far and dont get to attached to the fantasy its not exactly a bad thing. But sometimes it takes constant reminders that its just a fantasy, in which case its not a very good thing and needs to be dealt with. But yes, it can help in certain situations.
You know I've always felt this type of way but never had the words. It felt like I was so in love that when I was alone I would be so confused on why the happiness I felt never felt as deep as it seemed.. I always wondered why I felt better when I was by myself feeling that empty happiness but never knowing why and realizing now part of it is my fantasy of what our relationship could be and only seeing the potential of the person and not the person themselves.. gives me a lot to think about but more clarity. It hurts but I'm thankful. It's hard to say where to go from here but it's nice to know an explanation
I love this female “HUMAN’s”voice
Everyone Happy Now!?!?!? 😃😜😬
Thanks so much J1!
same.
Same makes me more comfortable
Sameee!
That's fantasy not love 😅
what if your fantasy together is your goal? making it better, efficient, satisfying...What if you and another person have a place that is just for the two of you that you can nourish like a garden?
A fantasy bond is an ideal vision of the relationship you both must work hard for... it's the same as people who believe in a utopia, and people who are inspired by utopian ideas to makes something less than perfect but still amazing.
I thought it was genuine love because we never got into any conflicts or arguments. But when i saw that avoiding conflict was one of the signs, it hit me. While he’s sweet and all, there were many times where his attitude was.. concerning, to say the least. I dont think he did it deliberately, but ive shed tears because of the things he has said and done. But i never mentioned it because i thought it would be healthier to avoid it, rather than stirring up, what i thought, were “unnecessary” disputes. I've also started letting go of my hobbies, because now all i do is text and talk to him. I guess there’s a chance this was all a fantasy bond after all. Thank you for this, Psych2Go
That last part got me.
Self centred narcissist.
have a look into attachment theory. It deals with the things youre speaking about
@@emmaboyett8667 ah right. I forgot about it. I shouldve looked into it before this. I have an anxious attachment style and from how he acts, he may have an avoidant attachment style. I guess we dont really match. Thank you for this!
If you shed tears and he did not respond with concern for your feelings this is not the man for you. Again if you shed tears it is because he crossed some important values and that is a major red flag! Never betray your values for a relationship.keep your dignity you be grateful later.
I just got out of a relationship, realizing that the connection between us wasn't love. This video was something that I needed to see since I was afraid that I did the wrong thing by breaking up even after he begged me not to.Ngl I was blaming myself thinking that I was acting selfish and immature until I saw this vid.Thanks ❤
People don’t like being and vibing alone because for a very long time being alone = is viewed as a something negative and being with someone = something positive or seeing as a happiness.
But strategically, and demographically, for centuries, men and women were encouraged to live together simply to have children, that is to say to put more people in this world ! It took centuries after some people began to see that happiness depends on each person !
Even nowadays, the mentality of some people in society does not yet change on this subject and thinks that living alone is depressing or negative, etc because there mentality and the perception of each person are different !
There will never have videos that will encourage people to live and vibing alone in an advertisement for example and seeing as happiness.
I’m starting to see little by little in UA-cam videos but it’s very rare ! Most videos is how to be with someone, or like this video fantasy bond, or you have to breakup with your bf, blah blah blah . . . How much you see people very desperate, lunatic, delusional from nonsense thing . . . And think that living alone and vibing alone are the same as loneliness . . . (Which is completely different) The reason why they search some people or feelings to complete inside them . . .
Crazy how this has been happening for the last few days and this pops up as soon as I wonder why I'm doing this so much
This honestly helped so much, just knowing how I became so attached and confused on why I fell so hard for my ex, because getting over her has been hard but at least I can see clearly now and this video really made me open my eyes.
Timestamps
1). You fall in love with potential not people 1:00
2). You ignore red flags 1:42
3). To use them to escape reality 2:22
4). You avoid conflict at all costs 3:01
5). There's no emotional intimacy 3:44
6). There's no sacrifice or compromise 4:29
7). You're lost yourself in love 5:00
8). A superficial relationship 5:26
9). You feel an empty happiness 5:51
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
One question: can fantasy bond sometimes be paired with a clumsy attempt of creating a true bond with the same person?
these videos become more for me every time you guys post
The amount of eye opening to see a video describe your life is crazy.
I love that these videos come when I need them most. Thanks :)
As a BPD person, this is so difficult to notice. Thanks for this vid, it helps a lot ❤
I clicked this video immediately after getting the notification, because I feel like I have this type of bond with a girl I have a crush on. Even spoke about this (indirectly) with one of my friends from band. I'm starting to reconsider ever getting her phone number (which I got before my junior year ended) and I may just be wasting my time...I may need to look at this video again and see what signs apply to me...
Take your time and watch it again. You may want to write down the "pro's & con's" of your relationship. 😊
This actually helped me understand the reason why my last relationship ending really didn’t affect me that much and honestly I feel like the majority of these things were happening throughout both sides of the relationship
I was in a fantasy bond for a while and eventually me and that person talked things through:) I this helps me understand what was going on at that moment:) thank you very much for your supportive videos
Omg...THANK GOD IM NOT DREAMING. I didn't even realized I have that. I'm glad I found this vid
I don't think I was ready for this one 😭😭
real.
Oh wow, I didn't expect to find this video as relatable as I did...however, I was absolutely led astray by those ex's because they lied constantly! I did learn to stop ignoring red flags, though....eventually
I've been in fantasy bond since. . .probably before I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia because I've been delusional of having a relationship with some handsome male celebrities I've seen on TV or UA-cam. But after I learned about mindfulness and self love, I realized that those kind of bond is toxic and it's a fantasy bond after I watch this video. 😩 I think I need to learn how to control my delusions with the help of my routine medication that I've got from my psychiatrist. 🤧 It's hard to not thinking and feeling a fantasy bond for me, but I gotta try after I watch this video 😔
Stop being so insufferably superficial and shallow.
@@MichaelF-cc8ri You think? Well, I gotta say. I can't do that instantly. It needs process, and it's gonna take a long time. Got it? 😊
I don't believe in fantasy. I believe in humanity and the way love can exist.
This video made me self reflect on my own reelationship
Thank you very much. I have not come across fantasy bond idea but it describes very well what I have experienced in my life - admiration of somebody without physical attraction but idealising the person and getting everything done for them.
In other words, Psych2go, ✨ Delulu ✨
1:02-- You fall in love with potential,......
1:43--- You ignore red flags
2:25-- You use them to escape reality
3:02-- You avoid conflict
3:45-- there is no emotional intimacy
4:30-- There is no sacrifice or compromise
5:00-- You have lost yourself in love
5:30-- A superficial relationship
5:54-- You feel an EMPTY happiness
Exactly what i have done in a 32 year marriage. This video is so accurate to the elements in my last 32 years. I chalked it up to bad training. Not learning how to communicate- where these are elements I experienced - but overall I was “In Love” with who he could be. Fantasy Bond
My approach to love might be romantic/fantasizing in theory but practical and patient in practice, like close caring relationships are beautiful but you gotta give it all your nurturing and dedication to sustain them instead of using the other person as a fantasy.
Fantasy is VERY needed for a single person (especially that there is no family and persons to rely on). Without it many people could even commit suicide.
Very true, it's a strong, self made drug, it's like fear, it protects you in many cases.
Wow this could not have been timed better, i just got out of a 6year narcissistic abusive relationship and these videos during this tough breakup is showing me so much. How little i know. Thankyou for making these videos. I feel more educated and somewhat safe talking more to people with this information
the subtitles say they are in english but I keep seeing japanese text on the “english subtitles”
Wish I'd seen this 5 husband's ago.😢
Honestly this video mostly felt like me and my ex... After awhile I ended up getting tired of it and left.. Now I stay single for myself..
Actually yes! And I realized that I don't love him as much as I thought....
After watching this, I'd say to fall usually into fantasy love rather than real love :(
Some fantasy sure is good and helpful but most failed scenarios really was me daydreaming too much, given what you've said in this video which I too can now see being put well into words.
I had a fantasy bond with a boy, especially a womanizer?(sorry thats what the traductor said im from latin america) and he destroyed me🥰🥰
Anime crushes some folk swem to have especially through fanfics 😂😂😂
I already lost in dreams listening to the VA...😁
This video randomly showed up on my notification and I feel attacked. is this a sign?! 😭
I think using sacrifice and compromise interchangeably isn't the best way to look at it. Compromise denotes a mutually beneficial agreement where sacrifice is one sided. I would never sacrifice anything completely, but find a compromise that allows both our needs and wants to be met. Perhaps not the exact way we envisioned, but still meeting our needs.
Keep in mind that if you know you can't fully commit to something that's critically important to your partner, it's better to just end things before they start. Always start out what might be a relationship as a close friendship, get to know each other really well before anything serious starts. Make sure you and whoever your partner may be can find a healthy and honest compromise, and if not then just stay friends.
I've seen polyamorous (or however you spell that) people who claimed to genuinely love someone who wasn't polyamorous, say that they would stop being polyamorous for that person alone, and pledge loyalty to them alone because they "truly love them". But obviously, every single time in those scenarios, the polyamorous person ends up cheating on their non-polyamorous partner instead of just breaking up with them, most of the time they don't let them know either because they don't want that relationship to end. If that doesn't make sense, forgive me, it's just what I've personally seen 100% of the time, I've yet to see a different outcome. I know that isn't the best example, but it's the most common one I've seen.
Also youtube is probably going to remove my comment because it's "hateful" (It's not, it's a cautionary tale based on real life experience. And I have nothing against anyone's opinions, beliefs, etc.)
The first sign I saw was that the captions that showed for this video when I began watching it were in Japanese, lol
Otherwise, great and helpful advice! ^-^
Me enjoying this video at 2 in the morning knowing that people doesn't even want to stay 60 feet than me 😀
Psych2go thank you for always being here whenever I had doubt about relationship and everything your knowledgeble videos are always come to educates me and informe me about various things that I can't even know before that's help a lot for me for everyone ❤❤ and your voice always my favourite girl I wish you happiness 😊
Why is ur voice so calming and beautiful😭
I LOVE THIS VIDEO SO MUCH!
The voice is so comforting 😭🩷
This is Amanda Silvera 😊
This channel is slowly making me realize I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life
This was in my suggestions, & I’m so glad it was. I really needed this.
Yes sadly it is my greatest flaw, that I desperately need to fix
I NEED BILL CIPHER IN MY LIFE
Not the nacho-
Uh, schizophrenia...
0:50 wow it’s crazy to think I,m no y alone no matter how horrible it seems well I fall on love with people I hate most of the time and also imagine that he would try to notice me but he can’t for whatever reason
I think my ex and I had a fantasy bond. I think she loved her idea of me, not the real me, then the instant I fell off the pedestal she set me on, she took it as total betrayal.
I'm still not sure... I started having feelings for him since I was thinking that it would be so good to love someone. I know I love his personality, not the body, but that's all. Our conversations hurt because I act awkward but he is so nice and he tries to overcome my shyness... sometimes I think I just made my feelings up and sometimes I think it's all real...😢
The body can be fixed easily, just hit the gym, the personality on the other hand not.
If he is nice with you and tries to make you overcome your shyness, that speaks for itself, just ask him how he feels about it/sees it, and you can get rid of it for good, you will feel amazing.
Is it just me or are the English subtitles not English
These are so helpful, thank you ❤
Its been 9months since breakup
I still daydream about
Think of her and say wow how can someone be so fucking beautiful its unreal
And think about all the possibilities of what would happen if she was here with me
😔😭
We’re going through the exact same thing. I’m stuck on her beautiful she is and I’ve I would ever find someone as pretty… will I find someone who I can laugh and hand out with…. But I’m realizing there was a lot of things I did not like about her. And these things would become an issue further in the future. So the best option was to break up.
wow. this is exactly what im going through. i have been a hopeless romantic for a long time but ive stopped and now im in a relationship but i am just confused. I related to some of the things in this video for example me trying to mold my partner into what i want them to be at the same time we sacrifice for eachother its like all of them mixed together. I think since its quite early i should give it a little bit and try to be more open and vulnerable about my feelings to them ?
In other words: LIMERENCE
Been confused and feeling conflicted for years, this really explains a lot and helps me understand more. Thanks Psych2Go ❤Your videos are always great at helping me put words to my feelings
This video was really helpful, I've always wondered about my feelings with my partner, and i might think we had a fantasy bond. and it honestly makes much more sense that i expected and explains so much
So basically a delusionship
I am Water and you are a plastic plant,😗 Story of my Life!!
This is quite an image!
Hey I kinda need help. “So I kinda recently moved to a public high school and it’s much bigger than my old charter middle school. But I’ve been at my middle school since 1st grade and I had the same friends ever since and since I moved I kinda forgot how to make friends, I became socially awkward, I started to see signs of social anxiety, and most importantly I’ve became depressed due to lack of social communication to other people and well, I don’t really know what to do now. everyone has their own friend group, while I’m over here hiding the fact that I’m depressed. But other people try to talk to me but I respond in a “leave me alone” toned voice, but in reality I want to talk. And I don’t really know what I’m going through right now can you help me?”
-yours truly “The 1”
having a fantasy bond to someone while they’re love bombing AND nonchalant towards you goes hard LMFAOAOAOAOOO (i left the situation but still hurts☹️☹️)
Ok so like, I know this is about relationship and stuff😅, but I recently watched...like half of you're whole depression stuff videos because it almost five in the morning and I pulled an all nighter beacuse I couldn't sleep...but what happens if you show most of those signs? But like have no one you know? Like I grew up and was forced to hide everything beacuse of my situation so I could literally be holding a gun to myself and look at someone and be like, yeah, I'm great. But like yeah
Yeah my last relationship, endet up 2,5 months ago, was a mixture of true and this fantasy bond.
We both want it but doesnt fit. We Try it several times but u cant escape the truth. And the break up was hard. Very hard😢
The lesson i learned/reminded once more is:
Be honest to yourself so you can be honest to other people. Its so important. Because if you honest to yourself and become fine with yourself, you become stable. Find ur inner peace. What probably means you have to face your own demons.
Beat your demons and find your balance will shine out of you. It will become part of your energy which other people can sense...and may your further partner too ;) But aim for urself. And the rest will come.
Can this bond go on for a long time? Looks like I went through this for 8 years in LDR.
Huh, I was worried I could be having a fantasy bond given how much I idealize my partner (I should change that probably), and how clingy I am with them.
But, seeing this, I think our relationship is pretty healthy. I am even more in love with them now.
Just to keep in mind. All of these signs and symptoms can be due to traumatized experiences. That have similar outcomes like avoiding conflict (stone walling).
Just talk to your partners and be prepared for whatever happens to be for the best.
So my ex partner was a fantasy bond?.. but why i keep having deep feelings for them? Why i feel like i still Love them til today...
Help!!! How do I avoid this happening again then? At this point I don't know what is real anymore :') I don't have much experience dating and tbh it's starting to feel quite daunting...
I have a question. How do males and females bond with each other? I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other. Men and women think very differently from each other. It seems like it's impossible for men and women to emotionally connect with each other.
Women do emotionally connect with other women, better than men do. Women can build incredible friendships and become very close to each other in a way men can't bond, and science shows that women can bond very well with each other. Generally, women are even more social than men are. After something bad happens, a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support, whereas a man can isolate himself and grief alone.
It should be illegal for me to be this early 😅
Too early! Thank you for being here! ^__^
Wow, this is going to have a really really _really_ large amount of "That's me" comments, unfortunately.
And, *Watering a Plastic Plant* is my new favorite meme for this.. 😔
I find myself fantasizing a lot about being in a relationship. I’ve never been in one. I have certain ideals and expectations but I feel they will never be met by a real person. It’s hard knowing I’ll possibly never be in a relationship due to this. I can’t bear the thought of rejection or heartbreak. I fantasize about relationships I know won’t come true. What does this mean? Is there a deeper meaning behind something like this? I wish to know if anyone is like this as well.
I've had this with one girl where even when we agreed to be platonic we were doing things that I never experienced with a girl and my head interpreted it as a relationship and she cut it off because it became a codependency. Now I'm into a girl who also doesn't like me back and we get along really well as friends and have shared a lot of deep personal connections in both directions (though I feel like I push too hard for it), but she just doesn't feel the same way romantically and partially because of her past. I deeply crave deep emotional connections but even when I think I've formed one it doesn't seem to be returned and I wonder if it was ever love or just a crush. I'm trying to unlike her now to be the platonic friend she needs now, but it's honestly really difficult to let go when this kind of relationship is almost impossible to come by. It doesn't fit the "fantasy bond" described here, but nevertheless I keep being told it's not real and will never be reciprocated. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong if I have all the emotional connection and everything else they say you need to have for a romantic relationship...
The worst thing about this is its a waste of time
Love the video!
Thank you!!
Your voice is soooo relaxing and you're videos are super good love you 💝
This means a lot! Thank you!
1. I form the projection of their potential, based on the information that im able to gather about them. Not necessarily instant, but definitely exists before i get to know them and are usually proven right.
2. I choose the red flags. Id rather know what im dealing with than find out after falling in love
This can apply to friendships as well. This was my situation with a girl I was friends with in the 2nd grade, I had this fantasy about this perfect best friend,who likes all the same stuff I do and it would be us against the world, kind of like the friendships on tv shows like Winx Club and Disney and stuff and I was projecting that onto her, but that wasn't who she was, when she treated me badly or was mean to me and stuff I would ignore it or make excuses for it to preserve the illusion of this perfect friendship where we agreed on everything,never fought etc when when the friendship eventually ended,she decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore and kicked me out of our friend group, I was devastated I was in a depression for over a year.I had to come to terms with the fact that the entire friendship was an illusion and based on my fantasies and that I didn't really know her at all and was putting her on a pedestal.
I haven’t liked anyone for years and this might sound weird but I wish that I could just get a crush (I’m going to go cringe in the corner now)
Wow hahah i jus healed from a fantasy bond. I knew it wasnt love coz U can thate a person u love. Like he was disrespectful, condescending and a cheater. I ignored all red flags
Not sure I've ever felt love, but those I have cared about are purely for who they are.
And I'd happily, wait for her but as she said they is not now or ever looking for someone, so I'm well aware that means it wouldn't ever happen. Still glad we are friends though it hurts she is more then worth just being close
@@Dakoda-Scarlettsome people want to be lonely and actually never regret it, both my uncle and aunt are the same. They never got married with someone and they reached their 50s.
I genuinely don't like dreaming about my crush because I know that what I'm thinking isn't actually her. I don't want what my brain is making up, I want her.
From personal experience, it does make you feel emptier inside, bc you have no real connection, you can only miss the surface level things, and the only meaning they give you is physical and visual comfort. Tbh you become disillusioned to who they are, and have an idea of them more than understanding them as a whole.
Your voice is so calming 😖💓
Thanks for your love!
Can we please switch from dating to LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE!?!?
So none of these describe how I feel about this person. How cooked am I?
Been in a “relationship” like this for 10 years, and it was definitely unrequited. Learned my lesson!