💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
Shame will make me angry for days on end. Angry at myself, resentfully envious of others, full of impotent rage, violent fantasies, existential hatred at the universe.
Why do you feel/act this way? Is it because you knew better but didn’t do better? Then, yes, I would agree with this response. However, if you didn’t know better or some experiences led your past behavior; give yourself some grace. You have grown enough to know this (fill in the blank) was wrong. You have grown enough to realize this mistake. GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE. We all make mistakes.🩵
When I started therapy, my therapist said ‘there will be times when you want to quit therapy, cancel sessions etc. Those are the times when it’s most important for you to push yourself to come in’. Years later I realize he is so right!!
I'm at hopelessness. I never realised it a shame issue😢😢. I am so grateful for content creators like yourselves who choose to share some of this information 🙏🏾. Thank you.
Please never give up hope. 🙏 I hope you can reach out to someone. Even if you don’t tell them your whole life story or anything about your trauma. Even just being with people can help you a little bit.
This is me, exactly. Shame is hard for me to define and I have no insight but depression and the ideation and actions are all there. I isolate. Thank you for being so clear. You really ring true.
I love the exploration of the link between shame and FEAR - we shame ourselves (and others) when something activates fear, and one of the biggest sources of fear is change, i.e. the unknown. People I work with often describe fear and shame sitting very similarly in the body and I think this is why.
This is so relevant...you have helped me to feel like I'm not alone-that my completely irrational thoughts and actions are coping mechanisms that I can now identify and THEN choose how to react. There is hope! Thank you so much, Tim! God bless you and yours!
Omg Yes. This is 💯 on point. I have made many extremely healthy life decisions and now I’m isolated and can barely function because of the shame and never stop. My question is why do we feel shame when the abuse,violence and abandonment was placed upon us. We were just little kids. Mine is crippling anxiety so I definitely live with my own thoughts. Tim you never cease to amaze me. I havent slept in five years. I have approx two hours a night. Everyone else is a 10 and feel like a zero. I paint and paint but I’m too afraid to share it. It’s a huge topic and so much work to be done. I am wishing everyone so much healing ❤️🩹
Thank you for this video 😢😢 and thank you for everything that you teach 🙏 ❤️ at least I know I'm not alone. We're all here and healing because of you! ✨️✨️✨️
Spot on as always. My brain gets very logical sometimes. And I have to remind myself when I'm listening that in my mind I'm not actually saying those terms that you use but that my thoughts regardless of the words that I'm using mean what you're saying that's confusing I have to come back and edit
@@janeyrevanescence12 Go to some stores and have some simple, brief conversations with employees. For example, at a grocery store ask where to find something, and then express gratitude; say, "Thank-you", and mean it. Ask a butcher if they have a favorite spice rub for pork, or how to cook a really good hamburger, and say, "Thank you". Compliment the checkout person about their friendliness, or an item of clothing. Remember, doing something good for someone else is good for you, you are succeeding, and, learning to do good towards yourself. Simply put, notice when you help your "self", and say, "Thank-you". Express gratitude, over and over, for the simplest of things. Initiate simple interactions with others, even it they are strangers.
🔥Heavenly Father give me your strength being a single mother is one of the most difficult job in the world both have special needs. Please help me. Lord I will lean on you to renew my spirit each and every day give me courage while I struggle to provide for my sons. Every month is a battle to pay my bills. Jesus help me to always put your will first.❤️💕
Shame leads people to self-destain which leads people to escape themselves which leads to addictions, even addictions to a fantasy self and false masks.
Remember, this is what's behind any narcissistic person. Don't be unkind even if you need make protective issues. Two things: we are intrinsically ONE - all of 'us' - and you do not know who can heal and how deep and how quick. God knows. Not you. Humble yourself.
Good god. The only shame thought in the first section I didnt immediately identify with was lying to others, and even then, when I thought about it, I do lie about how badly I'm doing internally. So even that I cant say doesn't apply. Clearly I'm not nearly as healed as I thought.
@@FooMantis One of the first steps to getting better is recognizing our needs. Seems to me the ‘self awareness’ piece is in your thinking process. Hope you have someone to process this with. Stay on the path, don’t look back and don’t give up. You’re worth the work.
With regards to all these videos on this channel, a video on how dating in todays day'n'age is possible would be very interesting. Because its probably two broken people coming together. Also with respect to the current divorce rate, which is quite high. It seems like people nowadays are completely unable to live together, especially men & women.
💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.
Shame will make me angry for days on end. Angry at myself, resentfully envious of others, full of impotent rage, violent fantasies, existential hatred at the universe.
@@AlastorTheNPDemon Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Fucking yes
Sweet Jesus, help me. This is me beyond accurately. Prayers for all the Me's out there 🙏
Why do you feel/act this way? Is it because you knew better but didn’t do better? Then, yes, I would agree with this response. However, if you didn’t know better or some experiences led your past behavior; give yourself some grace. You have grown enough to know this (fill in the blank) was wrong. You have grown enough to realize this mistake. GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE. We all make mistakes.🩵
🫂
When I started therapy, my therapist said ‘there will be times when you want to quit therapy, cancel sessions etc. Those are the times when it’s most important for you to push yourself to come in’. Years later I realize he is so right!!
Isolation feeds shame. That's a good point.
I'm at hopelessness. I never realised it a shame issue😢😢. I am so grateful for content creators like yourselves who choose to share some of this information 🙏🏾. Thank you.
Please never give up hope. 🙏 I hope you can reach out to someone. Even if you don’t tell them your whole life story or anything about your trauma. Even just being with people can help you a little bit.
This is me, exactly. Shame is hard for me to define and I have no insight but depression and the ideation and actions are all there. I isolate. Thank you for being so clear. You really ring true.
I love the exploration of the link between shame and FEAR - we shame ourselves (and others) when something activates fear, and one of the biggest sources of fear is change, i.e. the unknown. People I work with often describe fear and shame sitting very similarly in the body and I think this is why.
This is so relevant...you have helped me to feel like I'm not alone-that my completely irrational thoughts and actions are coping mechanisms that I can now identify and THEN choose how to react.
There is hope! Thank you so much, Tim! God bless you and yours!
The emotions that i have towards my emotions are my problem.
Same here ✌️
Omg that statement is so freaking true. Most accurate statement I have ever read online
this is exactly what I have been dealing with recently. im so happy i found this channel, I feel so understood 😓
This is literally what I needed to hear. I am healing and have made a lot of healthy progress, but I have this urge to diminish myself.
Omg Yes. This is 💯 on point. I have made many extremely healthy life decisions and now I’m isolated and can barely function because of the shame and never stop. My question is why do we feel shame when the abuse,violence and abandonment was placed upon us. We were just little kids. Mine is crippling anxiety so I definitely live with my own thoughts. Tim you never cease to amaze me.
I havent slept in five years. I have approx two hours a night. Everyone else is a 10 and feel like a zero. I paint and paint but I’m too afraid to share it. It’s a huge topic and so much work to be done. I am wishing everyone so much healing ❤️🩹
You’re a gift to us 💔❤️🩹♥️
I feel ya but for me I can’t even paint anymore
Thank you for this video 😢😢 and thank you for everything that you teach 🙏 ❤️ at least I know I'm not alone. We're all here and healing because of you! ✨️✨️✨️
Most of my life has been a shame based reaction.
OMG 😳 the actions are all me at one time or another.
Spot on as always. My brain gets very logical sometimes. And I have to remind myself when I'm listening that in my mind I'm not actually saying those terms that you use but that my thoughts regardless of the words that I'm using mean what you're saying that's confusing I have to come back and edit
What if you don't have any safe friends to be with when the shame is triggered? What do you do then?
@@janeyrevanescence12 Go to some stores and have some simple, brief conversations with employees. For example, at a grocery store ask where to find something, and then express gratitude; say, "Thank-you", and mean it. Ask a butcher if they have a favorite spice rub for pork, or how to cook a really good hamburger, and say, "Thank you". Compliment the checkout person about their friendliness, or an item of clothing. Remember, doing something good for someone else is good for you,
you are succeeding, and, learning to do good towards yourself. Simply put, notice when you help your "self", and say, "Thank-you". Express gratitude, over and over, for the simplest of things. Initiate simple interactions with others, even it they are strangers.
🔥Heavenly Father give me your strength being a single mother is one of the most difficult job in the world both have special needs. Please help me. Lord I will lean on you to renew my spirit each and every day give me courage while I struggle to provide for my sons. Every month is a battle to pay my bills. Jesus help me to always put your will first.❤️💕
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
Blessings from Småland 💫🇸🇪
Shame leads people to self-destain which leads people to escape themselves which leads to addictions, even addictions to a fantasy self and false masks.
Mr. Tim , 🙏🙏🙏 as always !
Excellent timing for this Excellent resource. Thank you.
Thank you, Tim.
Shame has cost me so much. So very very much. But every moment I grieve or avoid or check out is another moment shame has stolen from me. Fuck.
Isolating myself 😢
Isolation is my go to coping mechanism
Remember, this is what's behind any narcissistic person. Don't be unkind even if you need make protective issues.
Two things: we are intrinsically ONE - all of 'us' - and you do not know who can heal and how deep and how quick. God knows. Not you. Humble yourself.
Good god. The only shame thought in the first section I didnt immediately identify with was lying to others, and even then, when I thought about it, I do lie about how badly I'm doing internally. So even that I cant say doesn't apply. Clearly I'm not nearly as healed as I thought.
@@FooMantis One of the first steps to getting better is recognizing our needs. Seems to me the ‘self awareness’ piece is in your thinking process. Hope you have someone to process this with. Stay on the path, don’t look back and don’t give up. You’re worth the work.
With regards to all these videos on this channel, a video on how dating in todays day'n'age is possible would be very interesting. Because its probably two broken people coming together.
Also with respect to the current divorce rate, which is quite high. It seems like people nowadays are completely unable to live together, especially men & women.
✅ good video
How do we navigate without shame? Everyone is good and anything I do is okay, no matter what? Huh?
.