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I was scapegoated by a mob of narcissists at my former workplace and it was awful…silver lining: I’m now privy to what narcissistic wounding and rage is, and how to identify a narcissist. I’ve learned more about discernment, my codependent habits, boundary setting, my own narcissistic traits…I’m learning about all of the traits and habits that placed me in resonance with attracting abuse and drama, and I’m healing it. I’m certainly not excusing their behavior….absolutely NOT, but rather than be the victim I’m taking responsibility and therefore my power back. And imo that’s the answer to this dilemma, is to take the time you need to heal your trauma, and learn how to individuate. ❤
@kristinanderson1983 my "no muscle" is very strong, too. I'm very independent and have a good sense of how to set and respect healthy boundaries. My biggest problem is that I'm too forgiving and give too much grace. But is that really a bad thing? I mean, I understand it greatly contributes to my appeal to narcissists, but I don't want to lose that part of myself in order to counter sick people. The very notion of that is pretty sad. I'm still trying to work through the best way for me, personally, to navigate these people. I refuse to believe that becoming more like them is the answer, but I think the world would have you believe that is the solution.
@ I’ve wondered about this too, and I think you are onto something about finding your own way. Maybe it’s like learning how to dance, when you learn a technique you integrate all the steps to improvise in a satisfactory and unique way.
The goal is to turn you New Age while you heal. It is religious terrorism to force that on groups such as Christians just to see if it will work or destroy them.
When I was 12 or 13, I went with my best friend and her dad to play miniature golf (crazy golf) and I was really poor at putting. About halfway through the round, I got frustrated and hit the golf ball way too hard and it rolled down towards the edge of the road. I humped down with a dour expression and when I looked back up at my friend and her dad, I saw that they were enjoying themselves, not really caring if they sunk the putts or not. And, a major realisation came to me. I knew I was not as good at this game as my friend, but suddenly I knew that wasn't the point. I decided right then and there that there were always going to be people who excelled at some things and it was alright. I made a conscious decision to stop being jealous or envious of other people. It served no good purpose. I knew in that moment, as I observed my friend and her dad laughing and bonding that it was much better to try my best but have a good time, even if I didn't play all that well. I resumed playing with a light heart. I took that lesson to heart ever since, and my life has been so much better for it. As I grew up I celebrated my friend's achievements and victories, and also my own with equal vigor. Life became much more fun, less competitive, and joyful. I feel blessed to have reached that awareness when I was young. Nowadays I have multiple friendships that have lasted decades. I delight in the fact that even in my 50s I have so many friends of all ages. I love when children joke with me that I'm "old" but still relish playing silly games like tag and shoot hoops with 12 year olds. Life is so wonderful when we chose to be happy and accept our limitations without reproach. I firmly believe that people can change their outlook if they change their self-perception. And, funny enough, years later, I became a great golfer, too! Be happy and grateful for what you have and live with love in your heart. ❤
It's interesting how he responded to "How do I know if I'm a narcissist?" He actually describes in his answer how victims in constant contact with narcissists might feel. Narcissists know how to find their victims, and most victims have been groomed to be narcissistic supply. Narcissists are unfair, they make you feel empty, you long for a better relationship with them or long to get away from them, you can't connect to them and they won't allow you to properly connect to others because they triangulate and manipulate which wreaks havoc in your relationships with others, and they cause people to feel anxious with their crazy making. Narcissists systematically make their victims feel like they're the ones with the problem. My answer to that question of "How do you know if you're a narcissist?" You never wonder if you are. That's how you know.
Not even close. Do you think narcs either confirm or deny it to themselves if confronted? 95% percent of them don’t wonder if they are, being perfect in every way.
I've recently experienced severe vandalism related to envy from a person who posed as a friend for 20+ years. I didn't think highly of this person when I met them in '98-'99. I didn't want to be prejudiced. I tried giving him a chance. I learned a lot from him, he is a few years older than me. In '08 I out performed him in a measurable arena. And I didn't know we were competing. They didn't try harder, their actions just became covertly vindictive, destructive, and dangerous. Some people can't stand to see someone, who they believe is beneath them, succeed.
A lot of these people are damaged in childhood from entitlement and being spoiled feeling like they weren't important enough for their own parents to care and spend the time to instruct, guide and discipline them properly.
Boom. I am witnessing this firsthand. It often start with their parents. The failures of their parents. Why I think we are seeing such an uptick of Narcissism these days. Often, parents of who fall under the Millennials umbrella, didn't care, didn't "parent". So they grew up doing whatever they felt like doing with little to no consequences. This scenario is unfolding right in front of my eyes. In one way it's sad, in another way it is infuriating as now my own child is forced to deal with it, in a 3rd generation way. So I am on this channel to educate myself as much as possible, in order to help my own child navigate these often nightmarish individuals.
Absolutely accurate, many parents felt money and a well-to-do facade was a legit replacement for parental guidance and attunement.. and we’re seeing the fruits of that now
Do not attempt to practice empathy and compassion with a cluster B. They will absolutely leverage it against you, and by the time you realize this, it will be too late.
That's not true for bpd, stop spreading lies and hurting people, and bpd is in process of being reevaluated because it's more similar to trauma responses and emotional regulation, which with help gets better. People with bpd can be empathetic, compassionate and when they hurt someone they feel deep pain and regret over it and do apologize. It's different for some, unique individuals that might unfortunately have several conditions at once but on its own bpd is not like narcissism disorder. The wonderful lady that created a program to help with bpd decades ago, Marsha Linehan, had it herself and only disclosed that a few years ago when it was safe to do so because it's the most misunderstood and stigmatized mental condition. Just because you came across one example and are frustrated, doesn't mean it's fair to unjustly stereotype.
When I was young, we had "counter culture". We had no desire to eliminate of delete anybody. We just wanted to be left alone to live our lives. There were no Karens and people weren't offended by every single word.
I love Dr. Drew ! There isn't a more self reflective, wise, intelligent, and caring professional in our public media out there. Every time i had the pleasure to accidentally come across him speaking....on what ever topic...i always learn something. Such a great man ❣
No... if you have been insulted by someone on a date for no reason.. that is a narcissist. Narcissists love to insult you and break you down to get you to worship them. They will test you to see how much you will take on the abuse scale.. they will even go as far as to date you JUST to break up with you.
In my experience some of the most openly religious people are narcissists. They do that obnoxious "I'll pray for you" when someone disagrees with them. They think they alone get to preach God's plan.
My husband's late mother was an envious person. She was So negative and always complained. She even went after some of her own grandchildren out of envy. It was really sick.
Yes, ironically they are often narcissist because projection is a tactic that they often default to in defense of their pathology or they may have trauma from narcissist which is why they anticipate it everywhere.
7:28 This! This is, unfortunately, the kind of narcissistic behavior my mother and grandmother and aunts take. I’m so glad to hear this kind of narcissistic behavior called out. Too often it is overlooked or even rewarded, and that’s how it continues to persist in the culture.
Many would say, IMO, that that is exactly how we got into this mess of narcissism in our youth on up in the present day. Too much supporting of our children's emotions and needs. We need discussions / debates on how to attend to those needs in healthy ways that gird children with a thicker skin ( not implying that sensitive temperaments become calloused, not in the slightest ). Jonathan Haidt has spoken on this for years, i.e. to not coddle children into fragile souls that become quite riddled with narcissism, IIRC. The pendulum towards feelings has swung too far, as much as I do embrace feelings and are grateful for them!
You're confusing coddling of children and outsourcing parenting to all kinds of support systems and tools like ipads, phones, tv, Xbox, babysitters, schools, family members, day care for babies vs before for toddlers that are almost ready for school. All of those outsourced support systems and material goods, cannot replace or be good enough for children's emotional and mental needs directly from their parents, their primary caretakers. Parents are generally even more checked out and detached today than they were decades ago and with all the distractions they take the easier way out and give in to their kids demands, while also listening to random modern day advice of not saying no to your child, with all of that kids end up confused, unsupported, anxious, detached et cetera On the other hand you have parents that are not just distracted and disinterested but those that are emotionally and mentally immature so they project that onto kids and create codependency, enmeshment, parentification and sometimes emotional incest so that the parent fills their holes instead of working on themselves through therapy, having healthy age appropriate friends, working on their relationship with their spouse and family, getting a hobby and so on.
Control. manipulationn, lying, faalse aaccusations, projection & gaslighting. Detroyed my family. Our triune God & yes living in His Word is the only hope & way to survive & choose to thrive though all has been stolen from you. Pray for them til your dying day.
You forgot they never apologize , admit anything, and never take responsibility. They only have excuses. I'm sorry about your family. It destroyed mine, too. I allowed my wife to walk over me, but my parents were narcissists, too. It's what they did and didn't do that hurts. I had to go no contact with both of them eventually.
Both of my parents were narcissists. Chaos was normal to me. My childhood sweetheart found her perfect victim early. I finally realized a few years ago after 30 years, what she was. Infidelity was never an issue. But everything else was on the table. The real dangerous narcissists hide everything behind closed doors. They would never talk to you around friends like they do at home without witness. I have learned how to use this knowledge to keep her at bay. They are truly like children
I was married to a narcissist. Abandoned by her father, sexual abuse. I made the mistake of thinking that loving her enough would make her better. I never gave up on our marriage and she divorced me after 20 years. She never had the courage to seek counseling or therapy.
I suffered from many narcissistic traits and behaviors. I managed to reform my disposition and make life livable. If you want to recover from narcissism, you can. But you have to want to. There are a few cases of irredeemable narcissism, but that number is exaggerated. Don't feel like you're doomed to suffer from narcissism for life.
I entered this world through a narc birthing canal. She died when I was 65, so I've had a lifelong education from living it. She's not the only one in my family or in my life. I think I may know one of the BIG things that could cause narcissism. I've mentioned it to a few professionals with channels here, but nobody will address it. I see what I see.
My ex was picking her nails when we went to therapy and the therapist was literally talking to us while kind of motioning towards her with his hands while still being completely engaged because I really loved her and wanted it to work. She was 35, I was 36 when we met and she said at one point she could get any guy she wants and that was an eye opener because I knew there were certain behaviors that no one would be able to deal with some of the behaviors I was seeing. Hardest thing I have ever done is leave her. She was beautiful and very charming, great smile, great sex, etc but she got jealous of my ex wife because she was pretty to but I assured her I was in love and honestly was. Know it’s not my fault but I literally felt stupid for wanting her to love me or wondered why I still loved her after some pretty horrible things were said.
I live in California and I agree. Way too much ridiculous laws and pandering to people who don't deserve it. California used to arguably be the best state in the U.S. to live in.
I've noticed this too. Sometimes it doesn't make sense to me since leftists are supposedly more educated and read more. And theres plenty of narcissists who are conservative too. But the leftist leaning narcissists for sure act far more immature. You especially can see this in protests or demonstrations from leftist college students.
He's wrong about jealousy. Jealousy is the feeling one experiences when something you have is threatened by someone or something. Example: your spouse's love or attention, by their friend, work, schooling. Or your daughter's affection for another mother or father figure. Or your teacher's favorism toward another student (after favoring you). Envy is coveting what someone else has that you don't have: a spouse, wealth, good grades.
He's right that we are in the midst of a narcissism epidemic. However, he couldn't be more wrong about the nature of narcissism. Narcissists don't have a deep-down sense of shame. They are too shallow to have anything deep down, and they feel no shame. Shame is the feeling that goes along with being in a subordinate social position, which narcissists refuse to occupy. Narcissists are people who are trying to occupy a higher rung on the social ladder than they can successfully defend. If they perceive that someone is challenging their social rank, they can become enraged. The so-called narcissistic rage is just dominance aggression. Dominance aggression is something that occurs in animals that are too primitive mentally to recognize themselves in a mirror, so it can exist even without a sense of self. The "narcissistic supply" that narcissists so desperately crave is just expressions of fawning submission from subordinates. The difference between "grandiose narcissism" and "fragile narcissism" is merely the absence or presence of a perceived challenge to their social rank. Narcissists can go from grandiose to fragile in a nanosecond if they encounter someone who is unquestionably superior to them in some way or if someone simply refuses to fawn on them. I correct other people's grammar for a living. As a result, I have seen far more raging narcissists than most psychiatrists have.
Narcissism hadn't changed. It's become a scapegoat. When people look out for their own interests, less capable people will pull out the narcissist card. There are psychopaths, but it's too easy to call somebody a narcissist who doesn't let you get away with screwing around.
You're a narc yourself, you're ignorant on the topic, or you never were targeted by a narc. Which is it? And remember, the truth doesn't need your awareness or permission to be true.
@angelbulldog4934 Why would I let myself be targeted by a narcissist? It's just an excuse for being a gullible victim. Sometimes I wonder if those who are blaming their woes on "narcs" are the narcissists... but it's one of those words that has come to mean whatever the speaker thinks it means.
@@elgringoecMost people dont look out for their own interests at the expense of others. This is known as machiavellianism and is one of three interrelated personality traits that make up the dark triad (the other two are narcissism and psychopathy).
10:27 “Healthy Narcissism” = Esteem, while “Unhealthy Narcissism” = Ego, which is projected separation leading to empathic failure and envy towards destruction.
thats a very insightful interview!! some years ago i realised for myself 'we are living in the age of the self' well, i better replace 'self' with 'narcissism'
We all need therapy and healing 7:59 now. We’ve suffered months of narcissistic abuse just by listening to some of the political candidates who think they are right, and tell us that they know everything. Narcissists don’t change.
It's not only USA... sadly i'm speaking of experience and very ill, it took ages (NOT ONE doctor...) to discover this myself, thanks to good wise people online who inform us... hugs from Beligium
I blame a lot of this on the law of attraction stuff. I've read a few books and generally it's about you, you, you, you. flush all the people that need help and force only on you. Life is about balance, and it ain't all about you!
@@kni9ght You are definitely correct on that! Most wont/ever see that tho, because their heads are so far up their own butts. I see it every day. Kindness to each other is pretty much gone unfortunately.
Nahhhh, law of attraction is about self love, it’s just being misused as a main character tool. Its a self love hack that reminds you of your core self so that you can become solid in your morals/values and not let another person, no matter how close they are to you, especially narcissistic people, take over your own autonomy. Life IS about balance and the law of attraction is about manifesting who you are into form. You can clearly see what someone is about by what where why and who they are surrounded by and how they use this tool. Scapegoating LofA is not it.
If you were not subject to bad childhood trauma, then you have no idea what you're talking about. To try to minimize/invalidate another person's experience = textbook NPD stuff.
Step one: survive. Step two: make life easier, pursue happiness Step three: everyone is narcissistic and directionless Step four: medicate everyone until happy
Thanks again. Gotta be a nerd on the Dr.'s description of Jealously (I have a bit of a Greek Frenzy generated imparitives to object). His description of Envy is splended, and resonates to the Envy spiral of Socialists. I often liken it to Aphrodite's Girl from Iponema effect on the mob. Jealousy is harder to speek impeccably on. Coveting of what is already yours. In light of Yahweh's reputation, I ask if "he" wants to be known, or works against it. Very Melpomene. Keep up the great work.
Blaming it on genetics or trauma is a red herring since not all siblings in one family will become narcissistic. You can easily find a person who is a narcissist but his siblings are not even though they lived in the same household and experienced the same 'trauma' - a grossly overused word. Genetics is wrong because your genetics aren't fixed. They are dynamic & result from interaction with environment & lifestyle.
Trauma how some woke people use it has become overused and trivial. Actual trauma from a bad childhood, from emotional neglect, from absent parents, from parents fights, from overly strict disciplining and similar - those are real trauma examples, they profoundly change the child's development and they carry that burden with them into adulthood usually until they manage to get some proper help. Genetics is a smaller component to behavior and the environment in which the child grew up in has more of an impact on how they turn out. It goes for both physical and mental health.
The one narcissist (really more of a sociopath) I had the displeasure to be a business partner with seemed to have no ability to self reflect, no empathy circuit. I wasted so much time trying to get him to "learn" from his fuckups, how his behaviour hurt me, the people around him, our customers, our business, but soon realized he just lacked that ability altogether, lacked the ability to care about anyone outside of him, including his own family. I would have just as much luck trying to talk to a brick wall. So glad I cut my losses from that businesses and ended the relationship. Consider yourself lucky to meet someone like this earlier on in life so you can run away like hell next time encountering this personality type. Never worth it to avoid those early red flags, don't rationalize it, just disengage altogether.
1:32. It makes sense. This might not be correct at all but this was 1 generation after Vietnam, PTSD was only just beginning to be recognised, symptoms were still untreated and one of the symptoms of that can be narcissism. This was a time when physical and emotional abuse was still considered a normal parenting strategy and was to an extent institutionalised especially with the Cain, so we now have around 3 generations (ww1-vietnam) if not more essentially raised in undiagnosed PTSD. Surely that has to cause a spike in Narcissism
Failure as a gift today doesn't work when there's so many new things that make old things no longer practical, such as how everyone needs a cellphone on them at all times to have opportunities. I don't believe it's narcissism for someone to be able to see that they're disadvantaged against their own choices yet face the responsibility. Eventually some of these issues will be extremely consequential on society, such as the declining birth rate and increasing excessive death rate.
The Hebrew God is the best thing to ever happen to humanity and people want to be rid of it "because I'm so clever and have desires" 🤡 Morons. The good news is they're easy to avoid having real relationships with 😂
@@michellesecrett1 Most personality disorders are incurable. Why that is is unclear, as far as I know. My guess is that the individuals think they are perfect or that others are at fault. Therefore, they do not want to change their mind. If it's genetic, you can't change your mind. That's what I was taught in psychology at university. That everyone can change their mind is wishful thinking, which is very prominent within certain ideologies. They believe in equality and their ideology is ruined unless everyone is malleable. It is inconceivable that some people are simply better than others.
You are very misinformed. Pathological narcissism is treatable. The issue is that there aren't enough specialists to treat them. Psychoanalytic therapy seems to be the closest to figuring it out. Perhaps listen to Otto Kernberg, Diana Diamond, Frank Yeomans. The Heal NPD channel will also open up that rabbit hole. Codependents also play a huge role in enabling people who treat them poorly. We all need to focus on becoming emotionally mature and learning how to protect ourselves.
@@niklasmolen4753incorrect. It's just that people don't understand how to treat it. Psychoanalysis is probably the most successful. The psychiatric field hasn't got a clue. Even the DSM5 misunderstands pathological narcissism
They become psychologists/psychiatrist to hide the fact that they are narcissists. There are many such. Many other factors come into play, so they can do their job well, even though they are bad individuals.
I noticed that the narcissist experts on UA-cam don't really go into much detail about that, even though to me it's a huge social problem. It's mostly women who constantly do selfies and I've noticed that the women who do this, when you pay attention to their posts and what they have to say, they don't seem to have much of a personality. Yet they can easily get the attention of men just for how she looks.
I think we arrived here "all at once" due to a ton of dysfunctional families that were tied to specific jobs and those children are at specific ages . Also once 1 opens up others recognise they have similar issue
Hello sir… I’ll add that I’ve experienced narcissists to accuse others of being narcissistic. A defense mechanism known as projection. When confronted with their own behavior, they deflect blame onto others to protect their self-image, often inaccurately accusing others of doing the very exact thing the person is doing themselves. This is type of accusation is so absurdly out of sync with reality that it disorients and confuses others; distorting reality for the other who is projected upon (and for onlookers too!) Which makes the person being projected upon, and others, more easily manipulated for the benefit of the narccisist’s power and control objectives. This is easiest to do upon folks in a minority group who have less of a voice (less power.) Narcissists who live in a more dominant social group know this power imbalance exists, & use this to their advantage. Narcissists might incite wholly unempathetic mob-mentality campaigns against projected-upon others whom the narcissist has named as the dangerous mob in order to distract and deflect from others seeing their own unhealed fragile inner child, and their normal (though intolerable) human vulnerability. But that’s just my experience of this personality type. If only everyone knew it is possible that we can be loved as we are! Dark parts and all! No shame! I hope that everyone who feels left behind by all the social movements lately, who feels left out and hurt and exiled in the midst of cancel culture, who feels lost sense of who they are, and just wants to feel like they actually matter in this world - I found out late in life that when you’re ready to be truly seen, coming in with curiosity and emotional vulnerability, you’ll be welcomed with a love you’ve didn’t know existed, so deeply & genuinely! 🫶 I’m sorry you’ve been hurt Dr Drew, and will pray and hope for inclusion and healing for all who feel like their very identity isn’t allowed to exist whenever other people insist that their minority identity be respected (“cancelled.”) Especially all the white folks and cis men who are hurting so deeply right now. Anger and lashing out comes from pain, so while it seems on the surface that there’s hate or bigotry, it’s clear that it’s mostly just a shitton of prolonged soul suffering. So while it’s important to name that acts of hatred are effed up and behavior that harms people should certainly be “cancelled,” the people who do the actions should not be told they are irredeemably broken or cancellable, rather that they are valuable, and they belong and have a place in this circle even when they mess up. 🥂Here’s to a better world for us all where we’re all caring, curious about each others experiences of being alive, we take care of one another while also expecting accountability (room for folks to take responsibility for themselves, ) & we all feel like we truly belong. 🏴☠️🇺🇸🏳️🌈🎈This is something we can freely give ourselves and eachother, no purchase neccesary! I invite you, person reading this, to hold this prayer with me & my friends if you feel called to. 🌸
Feelings indeed matter. But what's crucial is that we all understand that feelings are easily-manipulated through the incredibly powerful propaganda that we are constantly subjected to. Just think of what all has occurred over the past 5 years alone? Also, to not deal with the truth cause/source of the problematic, recurring bad feeling that one has.. and rather try to blame another person for "causing" that in us, is all kinds of dysfunctional and is essentially what NPD is. NPDs hold others responsible for the crappy feelings that they have, that they refuse to work on.
I used to get so annoyed at woke and SJW messaging until I realized that the worst elements are really just coming from narcissists. They don’t represent the views of normal people.
So it begs the question, what is the precursor for the childhood trauma that eventually leads to narcissism?? Is it completely random with ebbs and flows from historical events. Or is it planned?? Are seeds planted and grown in such a way to guarantee cultural “churn” -a thinning of the herd so to speak??
We’re born with our personalities. Environment can influence us in a positive or negative way. Parents aren’t supposed to be everything to us, and if you expect that when they drop the ball in a game they’re still learning, often this is where our issues start with the “idea” that parents are all knowing gods, when they’re simply people who had kids. So, as an adult, it’s our responsibility to be honest with ourselves and find out who WE are, without manipulating others in order to help us do that. No “therapy” needed!🤷🏽♀️
The primary cause of how children turn out are parents. This has been shown through so many studies so far and even if you observe family dynamics often enough you will notice that, that is if you are willing to accept the truth. Many parents find that truth very very inconvenient are usually the loudest and quickest to shed that responsibility from themselves. They use excuses such as "nobody's perfect" and "i had it worse than you" and the infamous "be grateful for a roof over your head and food" as if excuses like that are appropriate. In their mind they are, in their mind they picture themselves as great parents but their children's eventual future lives are living proof that says otherwise.
at 12:57 Dr Drew said that Narcissistic personality disorder wasn't as common in the 1800's. That would concur with the bible's prediction in 2 Timothy chapter 3 that in the end days men would be "lovers of their own selves"... sounds like narcissism to me! Here's the rest of the passage..
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Tools Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.
Pathological narcissism is one of the three interrelated dark personality traits. Pathological narcissism is the anithesis of being a decent person. The other end of the spectrum is altruism. Sense of Shame and empathy are primary deterrents to performing harmful actions towards others. Narcissists avoid shame and lack empathy. Further, narcissists delude them selves and create a false idealised self, thus they dont think there is anything wrong with what they do. They transfer blame and shame onto their victims to protect the false self.
My brothers and sisters trust God when you pray because it works. He said all we need to do is ask in prayers. My testimony spans from when I was jobless and faced a lot of financial issues, but when I prayed for financial breakthroughs, he answered me by making me a mansion owner, and I still earn $97,000 after 28 days of trading. and you stay and doubt that he doesn't answer prayers. Make that altar now and spend time there. A change is on the way. Amen!!
YES!! That's exactly her name (Kate Elizabeth Becherer)so many people have recommended highly about her and am just starting with her from ☺️Ottawa Canada 🇨🇦
Envy has been the root to anti- semitism for so long. They are envious of our intelligence and success and our ability to make wonderful things out of nothing or despite the hatred.
The problem with non-psychology people "specializing" in personality disorders is that it is colored by their own biases and experience. Narcissism isn't anything like what this or most people say it is on UA-cam. You only have to read a few good books and papers to know he is being widely anecdotal in his account and this talk has little practical value.
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found the emotionally stunted white supremacist. Your parents emotionally neglected you in a profound way.
I was scapegoated by a mob of narcissists at my former workplace and it was awful…silver lining: I’m now privy to what narcissistic wounding and rage is, and how to identify a narcissist. I’ve learned more about discernment, my codependent habits, boundary setting, my own narcissistic traits…I’m learning about all of the traits and habits that placed me in resonance with attracting abuse and drama, and I’m healing it. I’m certainly not excusing their behavior….absolutely NOT, but rather than be the victim I’m taking responsibility and therefore my power back. And imo that’s the answer to this dilemma, is to take the time you need to heal your trauma, and learn how to individuate. ❤
Boundaries are one of my best friends. My "no" muscle is very strong.
@@angelbulldog4934 🙏🏽
@kristinanderson1983 my "no muscle" is very strong, too. I'm very independent and have a good sense of how to set and respect healthy boundaries. My biggest problem is that I'm too forgiving and give too much grace. But is that really a bad thing? I mean, I understand it greatly contributes to my appeal to narcissists, but I don't want to lose that part of myself in order to counter sick people. The very notion of that is pretty sad. I'm still trying to work through the best way for me, personally, to navigate these people. I refuse to believe that becoming more like them is the answer, but I think the world would have you believe that is the solution.
@ I’ve wondered about this too, and I think you are onto something about finding your own way. Maybe it’s like learning how to dance, when you learn a technique you integrate all the steps to improvise in a satisfactory and unique way.
The goal is to turn you New Age while you heal. It is religious terrorism to force that on groups such as Christians just to see if it will work or destroy them.
When I was 12 or 13, I went with my best friend and her dad to play miniature golf (crazy golf) and I was really poor at putting. About halfway through the round, I got frustrated and hit the golf ball way too hard and it rolled down towards the edge of the road. I humped down with a dour expression and when I looked back up at my friend and her dad, I saw that they were enjoying themselves, not really caring if they sunk the putts or not. And, a major realisation came to me. I knew I was not as good at this game as my friend, but suddenly I knew that wasn't the point. I decided right then and there that there were always going to be people who excelled at some things and it was alright. I made a conscious decision to stop being jealous or envious of other people. It served no good purpose. I knew in that moment, as I observed my friend and her dad laughing and bonding that it was much better to try my best but have a good time, even if I didn't play all that well. I resumed playing with a light heart. I took that lesson to heart ever since, and my life has been so much better for it. As I grew up I celebrated my friend's achievements and victories, and also my own with equal vigor. Life became much more fun, less competitive, and joyful. I feel blessed to have reached that awareness when I was young. Nowadays I have multiple friendships that have lasted decades. I delight in the fact that even in my 50s I have so many friends of all ages. I love when children joke with me that I'm "old" but still relish playing silly games like tag and shoot hoops with 12 year olds. Life is so wonderful when we chose to be happy and accept our limitations without reproach. I firmly believe that people can change their outlook if they change their self-perception.
And, funny enough, years later, I became a great golfer, too!
Be happy and grateful for what you have and live with love in your heart. ❤
This is such a nice story. Thank you for sharing.
It's interesting how he responded to "How do I know if I'm a narcissist?"
He actually describes in his answer how victims in constant contact with narcissists might feel. Narcissists know how to find their victims, and most victims have been groomed to be narcissistic supply.
Narcissists are unfair, they make you feel empty, you long for a better relationship with them or long to get away from them, you can't connect to them and they won't allow you to properly connect to others because they triangulate and manipulate which wreaks havoc in your relationships with others, and they cause people to feel anxious with their crazy making. Narcissists systematically make their victims feel like they're the ones with the problem.
My answer to that question of "How do you know if you're a narcissist?"
You never wonder if you are. That's how you know.
Narcs are drawn to empaths like me. They mistake my kindness for weakness. BIG mistake!
❤
Sure…
Seek therapy
Not even close. Do you think narcs either confirm or deny it to themselves if confronted? 95% percent of them don’t wonder if they are, being perfect in every way.
"Seek therapy"
Spoken like a true narcissist. I see you.
Selflessness was replaced by entitlement and vain post-camera self-idolatry.
Cluster A personality disorders are the "mad". Cluster B are the "bad". Cluster C are the "sad". That's how psychiatrists refer to them in shorthand.
TY
I've recently experienced severe vandalism related to envy from a person who posed as a friend for 20+ years. I didn't think highly of this person when I met them in '98-'99. I didn't want to be prejudiced. I tried giving him a chance. I learned a lot from him, he is a few years older than me. In '08 I out performed him in a measurable arena. And I didn't know we were competing. They didn't try harder, their actions just became covertly vindictive, destructive, and dangerous.
Some people can't stand to see someone, who they believe is beneath them, succeed.
🙌
A lot of these people are damaged in childhood from entitlement and being spoiled feeling like they weren't important enough for their own parents to care and spend the time to instruct, guide and discipline them properly.
Boom. I am witnessing this firsthand. It often start with their parents. The failures of their parents. Why I think we are seeing such an uptick of Narcissism these days. Often, parents of who fall under the Millennials umbrella, didn't care, didn't "parent". So they grew up doing whatever they felt like doing with little to no consequences. This scenario is unfolding right in front of my eyes. In one way it's sad, in another way it is infuriating as now my own child is forced to deal with it, in a 3rd generation way. So I am on this channel to educate myself as much as possible, in order to help my own child navigate these often nightmarish individuals.
Absolutely accurate, many parents felt money and a well-to-do facade was a legit replacement for parental guidance and attunement.. and we’re seeing the fruits of that now
That explains my disfunction
Do not attempt to practice empathy and compassion with a cluster B. They will absolutely leverage it against you, and by the time you realize this, it will be too late.
Amen!
Too late in which way?
@@seriouscat2231 In the way that they will have the power to destroy you.
That's not true for bpd, stop spreading lies and hurting people, and bpd is in process of being reevaluated because it's more similar to trauma responses and emotional regulation, which with help gets better. People with bpd can be empathetic, compassionate and when they hurt someone they feel deep pain and regret over it and do apologize. It's different for some, unique individuals that might unfortunately have several conditions at once but on its own bpd is not like narcissism disorder. The wonderful lady that created a program to help with bpd decades ago, Marsha Linehan, had it herself and only disclosed that a few years ago when it was safe to do so because it's the most misunderstood and stigmatized mental condition. Just because you came across one example and are frustrated, doesn't mean it's fair to unjustly stereotype.
He’s saying what we’re all thinking about cancel culture but are afraid to say publicly
When I was young, we had "counter culture". We had no desire to eliminate of delete anybody. We just wanted to be left alone to live our lives. There were no Karens and people weren't offended by every single word.
Let's be honest, the democratic party. Many of us flew the coop when we realized we were cohabitating with narcs.
I used to think that I was narcissistic but now I know I’m amazing.
I love Dr. Drew ! There isn't a more self reflective, wise, intelligent, and caring professional in our public media out there. Every time i had the pleasure to accidentally come across him speaking....on what ever topic...i always learn something. Such a great man ❣
Very good! Thankyou for the video 😊 sharing it now 🙏
No... if you have been insulted by someone on a date for no reason.. that is a narcissist. Narcissists love to insult you and break you down to get you to worship them. They will test you to see how much you will take on the abuse scale.. they will even go as far as to date you JUST to break up with you.
In my experience some of the most openly religious people are narcissists. They do that obnoxious "I'll pray for you" when someone disagrees with them.
They think they alone get to preach God's plan.
Blasphemy 🙏🏽
@@ExecutiveZombieRofl 😂
That’s blasphemy. You can hate religious people all you want but that doesn’t make you right.
@@Rscottphillips maybe you should pray for...
Interesting. I haven't experienced that, although I've heard of people doing that. I'll pray for you. (sorry, I had to add that).
My husband's late mother was an envious person. She was So negative and always complained.
She even went after some of her own grandchildren out of envy. It was really sick.
Has anyone ever met someone, whom thinks everyone else is a narcisist?
Yes, ironically they are often narcissist because projection is a tactic that they often default to in defense of their pathology or they may have trauma from narcissist which is why they anticipate it everywhere.
😂😂😂
*Who
@@peaceandllov Whom, who🤷😂
@@josefheinz5309 Good points.
7:28 This! This is, unfortunately, the kind of narcissistic behavior my mother and grandmother and aunts take. I’m so glad to hear this kind of narcissistic behavior called out. Too often it is overlooked or even rewarded, and that’s how it continues to persist in the culture.
8:18 he’s talking about what is often called “Virtue Signaling”
Until our culture can go back to supporting the emotional/relational needs of children, all mental health issues will continue to rise. IMHO
Many would say, IMO, that that is exactly how we got into this mess of narcissism in our youth on up in the present day. Too much supporting of our children's emotions and needs. We need discussions / debates on how to attend to those needs in healthy ways that gird children with a thicker skin ( not implying that sensitive temperaments become calloused, not in the slightest ). Jonathan Haidt has spoken on this for years, i.e. to not coddle children into fragile souls that become quite riddled with narcissism, IIRC. The pendulum towards feelings has swung too far, as much as I do embrace feelings and are grateful for them!
Necessarily, true
You're confusing coddling of children and outsourcing parenting to all kinds of support systems and tools like ipads, phones, tv, Xbox, babysitters, schools, family members, day care for babies vs before for toddlers that are almost ready for school. All of those outsourced support systems and material goods, cannot replace or be good enough for children's emotional and mental needs directly from their parents, their primary caretakers. Parents are generally even more checked out and detached today than they were decades ago and with all the distractions they take the easier way out and give in to their kids demands, while also listening to random modern day advice of not saying no to your child, with all of that kids end up confused, unsupported, anxious, detached et cetera
On the other hand you have parents that are not just distracted and disinterested but those that are emotionally and mentally immature so they project that onto kids and create codependency, enmeshment, parentification and sometimes emotional incest so that the parent fills their holes instead of working on themselves through therapy, having healthy age appropriate friends, working on their relationship with their spouse and family, getting a hobby and so on.
Control. manipulationn, lying, faalse aaccusations, projection & gaslighting. Detroyed my family. Our triune God & yes living in His Word is the only hope & way to survive & choose to thrive though all has been stolen from you. Pray for them til your dying day.
You forgot they never apologize , admit anything, and never take responsibility. They only have excuses. I'm sorry about your family. It destroyed mine, too. I allowed my wife to walk over me, but my parents were narcissists, too. It's what they did and didn't do that hurts. I had to go no contact with both of them eventually.
Both of my parents were narcissists. Chaos was normal to me. My childhood sweetheart found her perfect victim early. I finally realized a few years ago after 30 years, what she was. Infidelity was never an issue. But everything else was on the table. The real dangerous narcissists hide everything behind closed doors. They would never talk to you around friends like they do at home without witness. I have learned how to use this knowledge to keep her at bay. They are truly like children
Worthwhile discussion. Thanks, Dad.
Excellent video! I’m so impressed with the variety of guest you have on.
I was married to a narcissist. Abandoned by her father, sexual abuse. I made the mistake of thinking that loving her enough would make her better. I never gave up on our marriage and she divorced me after 20 years. She never had the courage to seek counseling or therapy.
The Golden Rule SO SO SO relevant and important Thanks Drew
I suffered from many narcissistic traits and behaviors. I managed to reform my disposition and make life livable. If you want to recover from narcissism, you can. But you have to want to. There are a few cases of irredeemable narcissism, but that number is exaggerated. Don't feel like you're doomed to suffer from narcissism for life.
Not true. Narcissism is pretty set. NPD cannot be moved. Either you aren’t doing as well as you think, or you are a unicorn
I love this podcast and how much effort you have invested into production quality. Seriously deserves more views.
Great information, thanks to you and Dr Drew !!!
I entered this world through a narc birthing canal. She died when I was 65, so I've had a lifelong education from living it. She's not the only one in my family or in my life. I think I may know one of the BIG things that could cause narcissism. I've mentioned it to a few professionals with channels here, but nobody will address it. I see what I see.
@@angelbulldog4934 please share here if you don't mind. I'm intrigued.
Please share ! ❤
What is it?!
The only way a narcissist could ever change is if circumstances "force" him to change. It's the only way. Forget words, because he'll lie his ass off!
My ex was picking her nails when we went to therapy and the therapist was literally talking to us while kind of motioning towards her with his hands while still being completely engaged because I really loved her and wanted it to work. She was 35, I was 36 when we met and she said at one point she could get any guy she wants and that was an eye opener because I knew there were certain behaviors that no one would be able to deal with some of the behaviors I was seeing. Hardest thing I have ever done is leave her. She was beautiful and very charming, great smile, great sex, etc but she got jealous of my ex wife because she was pretty to but I assured her I was in love and honestly was. Know it’s not my fault but I literally felt stupid for wanting her to love me or wondered why I still loved her after some pretty horrible things were said.
Easy brother she did things you liked.
Missed the point. She *could* gte any man she wanted, and obviously did in her 20s. Giant red flag, a may-day parade even.
Envy CAN destroy. Dont let it! Jealousy is a valid feeling within boundaries.
Amen
Absolutely ❤ Pride and Envy are terrible and lead to very bad things. Pride is the gateway drug to even worse behavioral problems.
What happens when narcissm spreads? It turns into California.
LOL!
Partially true. Overpopulation and a mentally ill society of materialism, mental illness breeds mental illness
Good one
I live in California and I agree. Way too much ridiculous laws and pandering to people who don't deserve it. California used to arguably be the best state in the U.S. to live in.
@Dj.D25 I agree...but what I find fascinating, with regard to laws, is the need to constantly create new ones.
All of the narcissists that I remember observing also revealed that they have a leftist/collectivist ideological bent. ☝🏻
I've noticed this too. Sometimes it doesn't make sense to me since leftists are supposedly more educated and read more. And theres plenty of narcissists who are conservative too. But the leftist leaning narcissists for sure act far more immature. You especially can see this in protests or demonstrations from leftist college students.
He's wrong about jealousy.
Jealousy is the feeling one experiences when something you have is threatened by someone or something.
Example: your spouse's love or attention, by their friend, work, schooling. Or your daughter's affection for another mother or father figure. Or your teacher's favorism toward another student (after favoring you).
Envy is coveting what someone else has that you don't have: a spouse, wealth, good grades.
This was very helpful, thank you
Dr. Drew, God sees everything!
He's right that we are in the midst of a narcissism epidemic. However, he couldn't be more wrong about the nature of narcissism. Narcissists don't have a deep-down sense of shame. They are too shallow to have anything deep down, and they feel no shame. Shame is the feeling that goes along with being in a subordinate social position, which narcissists refuse to occupy. Narcissists are people who are trying to occupy a higher rung on the social ladder than they can successfully defend. If they perceive that someone is challenging their social rank, they can become enraged. The so-called narcissistic rage is just dominance aggression. Dominance aggression is something that occurs in animals that are too primitive mentally to recognize themselves in a mirror, so it can exist even without a sense of self. The "narcissistic supply" that narcissists so desperately crave is just expressions of fawning submission from subordinates. The difference between "grandiose narcissism" and "fragile narcissism" is merely the absence or presence of a perceived challenge to their social rank. Narcissists can go from grandiose to fragile in a nanosecond if they encounter someone who is unquestionably superior to them in some way or if someone simply refuses to fawn on them. I correct other people's grammar for a living. As a result, I have seen far more raging narcissists than most psychiatrists have.
Narcissism hadn't changed. It's become a scapegoat. When people look out for their own interests, less capable people will pull out the narcissist card. There are psychopaths, but it's too easy to call somebody a narcissist who doesn't let you get away with screwing around.
A narcissist is someone who looks out for their own interests at the expense of others.
You're a narc yourself, you're ignorant on the topic, or you never were targeted by a narc. Which is it? And remember, the truth doesn't need your awareness or permission to be true.
@angelbulldog4934
Why would I let myself be targeted by a narcissist? It's just an excuse for being a gullible victim. Sometimes I wonder if those who are blaming their woes on "narcs" are the narcissists... but it's one of those words that has come to mean whatever the speaker thinks it means.
@@jamesjames5896
That makes sense. That kinda describes all of us, the difference being when and where to draw the line.
@@elgringoecMost people dont look out for their own interests at the expense of others. This is known as machiavellianism and is one of three interrelated personality traits that make up the dark triad (the other two are narcissism and psychopathy).
Don't be part of a mob. You can be a unique beast!
Yup. Mobs are never in the right.
It’s a spiritual disease.
I tend to agree with this in some respects.
The top tier narcissists do not have a spirit. They are just full of cogs and gears inside. Everyone in their lives just serve a purpose.
Dr. Drew is great, so intelligent.. I used to watch him on Celebrity Rehab n he helped me through my addiction n am now sober for 13 years now..
10:27 “Healthy Narcissism” = Esteem, while “Unhealthy Narcissism” = Ego, which is projected separation leading to empathic failure and envy towards destruction.
thats a very insightful interview!!
some years ago i realised for myself 'we are living in the age of the self'
well, i better replace 'self' with 'narcissism'
We all need therapy and healing 7:59 now. We’ve suffered months of narcissistic abuse just by listening to some of the political candidates who think they are right, and tell us that they know everything. Narcissists don’t change.
Rage + aggression = hangry (metabolic dysfunction)
Food not therapy… 👍
Idk my guy, I have known some marines that kick people through a wall with a full belly lmao.
I agree with everything the Doc said. Great questions and thanks for the interview.
It's not only USA... sadly i'm speaking of experience and very ill, it took ages (NOT ONE doctor...) to discover this myself, thanks to good wise people online who inform us... hugs from Beligium
I blame a lot of this on the law of attraction stuff. I've read a few books and generally it's about you, you, you, you. flush all the people that need help and force only on you. Life is about balance, and it ain't all about you!
That’s a good point and main character syndrome is rampant, we’re all a side character in other people’s story
LOL OK 😂😂
@@kni9ght You are definitely correct on that! Most wont/ever see that tho, because their heads are so far up their own butts. I see it every day. Kindness to each other is pretty much gone unfortunately.
Nahhhh, law of attraction is about self love, it’s just being misused as a main character tool. Its a self love hack that reminds you of your core self so that you can become solid in your morals/values and not let another person, no matter how close they are to you, especially narcissistic people, take over your own autonomy. Life IS about balance and the law of attraction is about manifesting who you are into form. You can clearly see what someone is about by what where why and who they are surrounded by and how they use this tool. Scapegoating LofA is not it.
@ yeah, everybody talks about investments and such but kindness is the only one you can 10x to get back a hundred fold with no taxes
Great conversation! Thank you for this video
Very good, although so-called 'trauma' is totally overblown.
If you were not subject to bad childhood trauma, then you have no idea what you're talking about.
To try to minimize/invalidate another person's experience = textbook NPD stuff.
Yup, started studying this during covid to try to protect myself from my family.
Step one: survive.
Step two: make life easier, pursue happiness
Step three: everyone is narcissistic and directionless
Step four: medicate everyone until happy
Thanks again.
Gotta be a nerd on the Dr.'s description of Jealously (I have a bit of a Greek Frenzy generated imparitives to object).
His description of Envy is splended, and resonates to the Envy spiral of Socialists. I often liken it to Aphrodite's Girl from Iponema effect on the mob.
Jealousy is harder to speek impeccably on. Coveting of what is already yours. In light of Yahweh's reputation, I ask if "he" wants to be known, or works against it. Very Melpomene.
Keep up the great work.
Thank you Dr Drew!
"In crowds it is stupidity and not mother wit that is accumulated."
Gustave Le Bon, on explaining narcissism and modern woke culture
You can see it in the justice system or should i say, vengeance system.
The Just Us system.
Wonderful interview, so well done
Blaming it on genetics or trauma is a red herring since not all siblings in one family will become narcissistic. You can easily find a person who is a narcissist but his siblings are not even though they lived in the same household and experienced the same 'trauma' - a grossly overused word. Genetics is wrong because your genetics aren't fixed. They are dynamic & result from interaction with environment & lifestyle.
Trauma how some woke people use it has become overused and trivial.
Actual trauma from a bad childhood, from emotional neglect, from absent parents, from parents fights, from overly strict disciplining and similar - those are real trauma examples, they profoundly change the child's development and they carry that burden with them into adulthood usually until they manage to get some proper help.
Genetics is a smaller component to behavior and the environment in which the child grew up in has more of an impact on how they turn out. It goes for both physical and mental health.
I think that the school system encourages narcissism right through college. America, in the last 100 years, has been built on a narcissistic concept.
Capitalism
No.
Beautiful🌹Thank You Dr. Drew♥️
Good discussion thank you. Fortunately there is a God above and he still heals those who will be healed.
Insightful. Thank you
Thank you so so much dr drew.
The one narcissist (really more of a sociopath) I had the displeasure to be a business partner with seemed to have no ability to self reflect, no empathy circuit. I wasted so much time trying to get him to "learn" from his fuckups, how his behaviour hurt me, the people around him, our customers, our business, but soon realized he just lacked that ability altogether, lacked the ability to care about anyone outside of him, including his own family. I would have just as much luck trying to talk to a brick wall. So glad I cut my losses from that businesses and ended the relationship. Consider yourself lucky to meet someone like this earlier on in life so you can run away like hell next time encountering this personality type. Never worth it to avoid those early red flags, don't rationalize it, just disengage altogether.
Camera, golden rule, thanks
good video , subbed. Thanks!
We have too much trauma, because there is not enough Resilience in the world ...
Etiquete, Golden Rule Ready…😎🙌🏽
1:32. It makes sense. This might not be correct at all but this was 1 generation after Vietnam, PTSD was only just beginning to be recognised, symptoms were still untreated and one of the symptoms of that can be narcissism. This was a time when physical and emotional abuse was still considered a normal parenting strategy and was to an extent institutionalised especially with the Cain, so we now have around 3 generations (ww1-vietnam) if not more essentially raised in undiagnosed PTSD. Surely that has to cause a spike in Narcissism
Failure as a gift today doesn't work when there's so many new things that make old things no longer practical, such as how everyone needs a cellphone on them at all times to have opportunities. I don't believe it's narcissism for someone to be able to see that they're disadvantaged against their own choices yet face the responsibility. Eventually some of these issues will be extremely consequential on society, such as the declining birth rate and increasing excessive death rate.
In summary: Act like God is watching at all times. Funny how advice can be millennia old and still valid.
Doesn't have to be god.
There is always someone who sees/knows what you are doing. Even if nobody says anything.
The Hebrew God is the best thing to ever happen to humanity and people want to be rid of it "because I'm so clever and have desires" 🤡 Morons. The good news is they're easy to avoid having real relationships with 😂
Oh Vey… Dr. Drew, 🥵
I have Anger, Sorrow and Rebuking Lucifer (full narcissist) stories. 🤕
I have victory also tho! 😊 Phew. 🙏🏽😎
Called. “Christ.” 🫡
Dr. Drew misses the mark here. Sorry, the narcissist cannot change. Telling a narcissist to "adopt the golden rule daily" is an utter joke!!!
That’s an online myth. Anyone can change if they work on themselves hard enough
@@michellesecrett1 Most personality disorders are incurable. Why that is is unclear, as far as I know. My guess is that the individuals think they are perfect or that others are at fault. Therefore, they do not want to change their mind. If it's genetic, you can't change your mind.
That's what I was taught in psychology at university.
That everyone can change their mind is wishful thinking, which is very prominent within certain ideologies. They believe in equality and their ideology is ruined unless everyone is malleable. It is inconceivable that some people are simply better than others.
@niklasmolen4753
"These are aweful people and can never change." I feel that sets an extremely dangerous precedent.
You are very misinformed. Pathological narcissism is treatable. The issue is that there aren't enough specialists to treat them. Psychoanalytic therapy seems to be the closest to figuring it out. Perhaps listen to Otto Kernberg, Diana Diamond, Frank Yeomans. The Heal NPD channel will also open up that rabbit hole. Codependents also play a huge role in enabling people who treat them poorly. We all need to focus on becoming emotionally mature and learning how to protect ourselves.
@@niklasmolen4753incorrect. It's just that people don't understand how to treat it. Psychoanalysis is probably the most successful. The psychiatric field hasn't got a clue. Even the DSM5 misunderstands pathological narcissism
I’d like to read the book you mentioned, THE GIFT OF FAILURE. Who authored it?
So scientific.
what happens when a narcissist becomes a psychiatrist.
They become psychologists/psychiatrist to hide the fact that they are narcissists. There are many such. Many other factors come into play, so they can do their job well, even though they are bad individuals.
They play abusive games with people seeking help.
*celebrity psychiatrist
What would you classify the obsession people have of posting nothing but pictures of themselves on instagram? Id call that abject Narcissism.
I noticed that the narcissist experts on UA-cam don't really go into much detail about that, even though to me it's a huge social problem. It's mostly women who constantly do selfies and I've noticed that the women who do this, when you pay attention to their posts and what they have to say, they don't seem to have much of a personality. Yet they can easily get the attention of men just for how she looks.
Drew should be an expert on this by now working next to Adam for the past 25 years.
Most people are repulsive- I stay away from them as much as possible.
Keep your circle small.
I think we arrived here "all at once" due to a ton of dysfunctional families that were tied to specific jobs and those children are at specific ages . Also once 1 opens up others recognise they have similar issue
Im the past it went all over the place but no one had therapy nor awareness.
Great insights here; I think the good doctor is describing all the "Karen's" and road rage we see so much of.
And the paranoid.. people who feel they are victims when they are clearly not victims.
Hello sir… I’ll add that I’ve experienced narcissists to accuse others of being narcissistic. A defense mechanism known as projection. When confronted with their own behavior, they deflect blame onto others to protect their self-image, often inaccurately accusing others of doing the very exact thing the person is doing themselves. This is type of accusation is so absurdly out of sync with reality that it disorients and confuses others; distorting reality for the other who is projected upon (and for onlookers too!) Which makes the person being projected upon, and others, more easily manipulated for the benefit of the narccisist’s power and control objectives. This is easiest to do upon folks in a minority group who have less of a voice (less power.) Narcissists who live in a more dominant social group know this power imbalance exists, & use this to their advantage. Narcissists might incite wholly unempathetic mob-mentality campaigns against projected-upon others whom the narcissist has named as the dangerous mob in order to distract and deflect from others seeing their own unhealed fragile inner child, and their normal (though intolerable) human vulnerability. But that’s just my experience of this personality type.
If only everyone knew it is possible that we can be loved as we are! Dark parts and all! No shame!
I hope that everyone who feels left behind by all the social movements lately, who feels left out and hurt and exiled in the midst of cancel culture, who feels lost sense of who they are, and just wants to feel like they actually matter in this world - I found out late in life that when you’re ready to be truly seen, coming in with curiosity and emotional vulnerability, you’ll be welcomed with a love you’ve didn’t know existed, so deeply & genuinely! 🫶
I’m sorry you’ve been hurt Dr Drew, and will pray and hope for inclusion and healing for all who feel like their very identity isn’t allowed to exist whenever other people insist that their minority identity be respected (“cancelled.”) Especially all the white folks and cis men who are hurting so deeply right now. Anger and lashing out comes from pain, so while it seems on the surface that there’s hate or bigotry, it’s clear that it’s mostly just a shitton of prolonged soul suffering. So while it’s important to name that acts of hatred are effed up and behavior that harms people should certainly be “cancelled,” the people who do the actions should not be told they are irredeemably broken or cancellable, rather that they are valuable, and they belong and have a place in this circle even when they mess up. 🥂Here’s to a better world for us all where we’re all caring, curious about each others experiences of being alive, we take care of one another while also expecting accountability (room for folks to take responsibility for themselves, ) & we all feel like we truly belong. 🏴☠️🇺🇸🏳️🌈🎈This is something we can freely give ourselves and eachother, no purchase neccesary! I invite you, person reading this, to hold this prayer with me & my friends if you feel called to. 🌸
How someone feels? when they know deep inside that they are bad people.
Feelings indeed matter.
But what's crucial is that we all understand that feelings are easily-manipulated through the incredibly powerful propaganda that we are constantly subjected to.
Just think of what all has occurred over the past 5 years alone?
Also, to not deal with the truth cause/source of the problematic, recurring bad feeling that one has.. and rather try to blame another person for "causing" that in us, is all kinds of dysfunctional and is essentially what NPD is.
NPDs hold others responsible for the crappy feelings that they have, that they refuse to work on.
I’ve noticed this as well. How do u tell a narcissist they are one?
you don't EVER tell someone that they are a narcissist; they will annihilate you verbally and sometimes physically
I used to get so annoyed at woke and SJW messaging until I realized that the worst elements are really just coming from narcissists. They don’t represent the views of normal people.
So it begs the question, what is the precursor for the childhood trauma that eventually leads to narcissism?? Is it completely random with ebbs and flows from historical events. Or is it planned?? Are seeds planted and grown in such a way to guarantee cultural “churn” -a thinning of the herd so to speak??
We’re born with our personalities. Environment can influence us in a positive or negative way. Parents aren’t supposed to be everything to us, and if you expect that when they drop the ball in a game they’re still learning, often this is where our issues start with the “idea” that parents are all knowing gods, when they’re simply people who had kids. So, as an adult, it’s our responsibility to be honest with ourselves and find out who WE are, without manipulating others in order to help us do that. No “therapy” needed!🤷🏽♀️
The primary cause of how children turn out are parents. This has been shown through so many studies so far and even if you observe family dynamics often enough you will notice that, that is if you are willing to accept the truth. Many parents find that truth very very inconvenient are usually the loudest and quickest to shed that responsibility from themselves. They use excuses such as "nobody's perfect" and "i had it worse than you" and the infamous "be grateful for a roof over your head and food" as if excuses like that are appropriate. In their mind they are, in their mind they picture themselves as great parents but their children's eventual future lives are living proof that says otherwise.
@@AA-iy4gmtrue only if you accept “their” behavior as the truth.
Perhaps it is the understanding of narcissism that has improve rather than the rates per se.
at 12:57 Dr Drew said that Narcissistic personality disorder wasn't as common in the 1800's. That would concur with the bible's prediction in 2 Timothy chapter 3 that in the end days men would be "lovers of their own selves"... sounds like narcissism to me! Here's the rest of the passage..
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
Tools
Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.
But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.
So i hear this as an advertisement for "Narcissism". Let me become a better narcissist to combat the elevated levels in society.
Can a narcissist stop themselves from doing/saying damaging things? Can they be a narc but still be a decent person?
Pathological narcissism is one of the three interrelated dark personality traits. Pathological narcissism is the anithesis of being a decent person. The other end of the spectrum is altruism. Sense of Shame and empathy are primary deterrents to performing harmful actions towards others. Narcissists avoid shame and lack empathy. Further, narcissists delude them selves and create a false idealised self, thus they dont think there is anything wrong with what they do. They transfer blame and shame onto their victims to protect the false self.
My brothers and sisters trust God when you pray because it works. He said all we need to do is ask in prayers. My testimony spans from when I was jobless and faced a lot of financial issues, but when I prayed for financial breakthroughs, he answered me by making me a mansion owner, and I still earn $97,000 after 28 days of trading. and you stay and doubt that he doesn't answer prayers. Make that altar now and spend time there. A change is on the way. Amen!!
Excuse me for real?,how is that
possible I have struggling
financially, how was that possible?
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I always appreciate God for his kindness upon my life
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Past generations were taught to place their burdens on Christ. Ask your grandparents for a Bible.
Somebody's watching me.
Envy has been the root to anti- semitism for so long. They are envious of our intelligence and success and our ability to make wonderful things out of nothing or despite the hatred.
The problem with non-psychology people "specializing" in personality disorders is that it is colored by their own biases and experience. Narcissism isn't anything like what this or most people say it is on UA-cam. You only have to read a few good books and papers to know he is being widely anecdotal in his account and this talk has little practical value.