Peter Pan Syndrome - 5 Signs That You Are A Man-Child

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  • Опубліковано 21 лип 2023
  • In this video, I'm talking about peter pan syndrome and giving you 5 signs you are still a man-child.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 212

  • @OliverCowlishaw
    @OliverCowlishaw  11 місяців тому +14

    Journalling is the most powerful personal growth tool you have at your disposal. Click to download my free 31 day fillable PDF. It gives you a single high impact prompt every single day. Download here: bit.ly/3ZQ54cx

    • @noahhamilton1026
      @noahhamilton1026 2 місяці тому

      I will never grow up getting high has always been more important than anything else I can think of

    • @Soccercrazyigboman
      @Soccercrazyigboman Місяць тому

      How do you change your relationship with anxiety?

  • @madster01
    @madster01 10 місяців тому +199

    1. You have sexual compulsions (masturbation/porn)
    2. You’re uncommitted (you have ideas, but don’t start/finish them) - pick a project, define a point of completion, stick with it no matter what
    3. You have anxiety - embrace it, don’t run away from it
    4. You avoid responsibility - clarify what’s important for you, commit to it
    5. You’re lying - notice when you lie, start telling the truth
    I like the conclusion “it’s not your fault”. We couldn’t control how we were raised in the childhood. Realizing you’re a man-child is a half-work. What’s important is to not put guilt into our fathers or us, but to try to work with the mess that we are in today, without constant judgement.

    • @Brakka86
      @Brakka86 7 місяців тому +17

      What if I'm a cynical bastard who is philosophically committed to 2 things: freedom & power. That is all I really care about and practically having "power" or control over my own life and choices is non negotiable. For this reason I only begrudgingly work for other people IF I have to and prefer to be a freelancer as opposed to a wage-slave or a boss. I always hated being one of the few ppl in a corporate team that has work ethic and ends up doing most of the work while others slack off. Its better being a professional, setting boundaries, with a good reputation. I also have 0 commitment in relationships especially to the opposite sex in sexual relationships as these eventually devolve into a situation where I'm just trapped and she nags me with demands. That was always the moment I cut ties and bolted. I was told I'm a man-child for refusing to "grow up" and live the same as people in society. To me tho it just seems like the people who say "peter pan syndrome" or "man child" are just trying to trick me into falling in line and being like them. The very thought of complying is repulsive tbh..

    • @Illuminated333
      @Illuminated333 6 місяців тому

      ⁠@@Brakka86you have so much trauma. You present as a dismissive avoidant. Which is a trauma response. The fact you think you are being tricked by this information is enough to make this assessment but your entire comment confirms it. Please stay single unless you plan to get help because people like this destroy healthy people. You want control and power because you don’t feel like you have any.

    • @atomicman9527
      @atomicman9527 5 місяців тому

      ​@@Brakka86man u really have that syndrome the way u write text is clear

    • @JustNit-Kidd69
      @JustNit-Kidd69 3 місяці тому

      ​@@Brakka86 lol you might want to care about intelligence too. Seems like you lack it. Any person with a brain can easily dominate you.

    • @GGamersUnited
      @GGamersUnited 3 місяці тому

      thanks about the father thing mentioned, I struggle hard with that, but I came to realize it myself. We can not pick our parents and we can not turn back time.
      Our fathers, for better or worse, did their best. If I became a father around 28 like my father did, well....I was not ready to be one, I still have to work on a lot of things, but I would have prolly done the same mistakes my father has done with me.
      So yeah, lets work on our daddy and mommy issues, without fully blaming our parents and just keep developing! Society needs strong men! Not some fkn weaklings. We have to grow up, but on our own terms for sure!

  • @theboombody
    @theboombody 14 днів тому +5

    One thing makes you a man-child for sure. You are physically able to perform a job, but you never make any attempt to look for one.

  • @bluehorizon9435
    @bluehorizon9435 6 місяців тому +60

    Jeez, I am 56 and I can identify with all of these 5 signs. Scarey, but true. The journey starts here...

    • @hg3895
      @hg3895 4 місяці тому +7

      It's never too late. You can do this 💪

  • @mr.increediblle7964
    @mr.increediblle7964 Місяць тому +15

    I am a 35 year old and feel like a child. It even impacts the type of conversations that i have with people my age

  • @jordanchilde2177
    @jordanchilde2177 8 місяців тому +93

    I feel 15 still but I am 37 I feel like i am stuck at that time of my life I met my ex-girlfriend. We was together 20 years and I still feel I’m still there 😢

    • @OliverCowlishaw
      @OliverCowlishaw  7 місяців тому +38

      Any memory older than 18 months which still creates an emotional response is a memory you haven't processed yet. We remain the age we were hurt the most, if we don't do the work on ourselves. You've got a journey ahead.

    • @UpgradeReview
      @UpgradeReview 3 місяці тому +12

      Save some money and go to Thailand for a couple weeks to a month. Thank me later

    • @nanouberthe7598
      @nanouberthe7598 2 місяці тому +15

      @@UpgradeReviewsex isnt the solution for everything lmao

    • @Soccercrazyigboman
      @Soccercrazyigboman Місяць тому

      ​@@OliverCowlishaw How do you change your relationship with anxiety

    • @atuanyaalpheusparodychanne641
      @atuanyaalpheusparodychanne641 Місяць тому +1

      @@OliverCowlishaw i feel old i tried to go back to drinking smoking and partying but i cant anymore im 33 with grey hair

  • @Darnell123
    @Darnell123 Місяць тому +14

    Im 25 and i realized im a man child all I do is go to work,smoke weed ,and play the game i live with my mom along with my 3 lil siblings but i pay all the bills no car and dont save money im saying all this because i ask for some words of encouragement, prayers, and harsh criticism/tough love

    • @brock1594
      @brock1594 6 днів тому

      Legit a year behind you fella take it easy on yourself.

    • @teeoneofficial552
      @teeoneofficial552 5 днів тому +2

      Being 25 and living at home is not a bad problem bro that’s quite smart money wise considering you have a bad money habit already. Definitely start working out and learn more ,start reading books from other men and going out more . You will definitely start changing and developing a lot more

    • @Darnell123
      @Darnell123 4 дні тому

      @@teeoneofficial552 thank you i needed to hear this

    • @Darnell123
      @Darnell123 4 дні тому

      @@brock1594 thanks man I’ll try

  • @gigigennaro3303
    @gigigennaro3303 8 днів тому +3

    I'm surrounded by men/boys of this nature. This helped me understand WHY they are like that. It makes sense. My father was a military man. He helped us ALL grow up early on.

  • @mujizen917
    @mujizen917 2 місяці тому +10

    I always thought/believed that keeping the child in me alive was a way of spiritual growth and an act of rebellion towards what society conditions us to be. Reaching 38 now, still living with mom, lost another job recenty, escaping myself with weed, alcohol and videogames, every relationship run away from when things got a hard, every project, job, course enthusiastic started but never completed...yup I am definition of Peter Pan syndrome... I also loved the film Hook when I was an actual kid.
    Thank you for creating this video, it has woken me up in ways nothing else could.

  • @nextifydev
    @nextifydev 18 днів тому +4

    I’ve learned more from this video than 2 years in therapy. Thank you for this value.

  • @klynol
    @klynol Місяць тому +8

    I feel like everything went wrong with me. Im a 24 year old man with aspergers and my father was a drunken, unstable man and my mom was, as you said, very coddling and it made me rely on her. She even abuses this fact to this day. Fortunetly I didn't tick everything on the list but I still have a lot of shaping up to do. Wish me luck, guys because I really need it

  • @judekabongo282
    @judekabongo282 2 дні тому

    I’m 29 years old and yet I am completely honestly a manchild and I’ve been one for far too long and I’m tired of it completely utterly disgustingly tired of it. Thank you so much for this video. I definitely needed it. Thank you for my algorithm for showing me. I will do all of the work necessary to become the full authentic mam that I know I’m capable of being

  • @kyleschneider7692
    @kyleschneider7692 6 місяців тому +18

    Damn son, 26 years old here. Its insane that I'm coming here now, I'm actually up at 3am watching this. I havent watched the video yet, but I'd like to say I appreciate the effort to help those like me. I've looked all over trying to figure out what's up with me. I'm only now starting to realise that my mom got with my step dad who was originally living at his moms when they met. He raised me for 14 years. He was rude, angry, anxious, avoidant. It didn't occur to me that he was a grown child. I mean it did but I didn't think about how it affected me because I hated him. Noticing it now its almost like I've been competing with him on how to be better at being a man child. I hope its possible to get rid of this autopilot tunnel vision ordeal.

    • @Syd_Far-i
      @Syd_Far-i 3 місяці тому

      Just with hope as an energy mate, you have a foundation to work on. Being aware of your shortcomings is the most important step, and you have that. Nothings set in stone, just be mindful and act accordingly. You got this!

  • @thomascraig6814
    @thomascraig6814 8 днів тому +2

    I’m 30 and don’t feel a day over 15 with 15 year old humor, desires, and feelings. I don’t feel like an adult at all. I feel like I pretend to be one.

  • @JacobPetrossian
    @JacobPetrossian 11 місяців тому +11

    The quote about commitment was excellent. Great vid, mate. Keep it up 👊

  • @JMc_1
    @JMc_1 5 місяців тому +6

    This is very good, very good. I like how you broke it down, explained the why, and the exit plan. I think my husband has this. I thought for the longest while he was a narcissist it doesn't really fit his behavior and mindset. Peter Pan syndrome does.

  • @rebeccamccaffrey5897
    @rebeccamccaffrey5897 9 місяців тому +5

    This was really fascinating
    And you a have fantastic presence and explaining things ❤

  • @Majiniko99
    @Majiniko99 Місяць тому +3

    I am 22, I still single because I am not ready to live with someone...
    I don't have a driver licence, I live at my parents home and almost finished my studies, I feel like I can't take care of someone. I stopped social medias some weeks ago, and watching news on TV because 90 % of the time it's bad news. It already feel weird to quit studies because I didn't prepare myself. I heard about man-child and google it. And I know now my weaknesses and I am a Man-Child... so I confirmed my decision !
    Meanwhile I didn't get over this Peter Pan status I promess to stay single. I have a future anxiety to seek a job or the AI, world's conflict, my parents said I am too much mature because I don't watch TikTok, I don't follow big French youtubers (I am a frenchman) and I always dislike to be Mr. everyone and be so different, my classmates always see me like a wierd man but now I don't care like I did some months ago.

  • @SifanZelalem
    @SifanZelalem 28 днів тому +1

    This was pure gold and came at the perfect time, the effort and dedication you put into this really shows. Not just explaining the issue but giving actionable steps to overcome them. You’ve gained a like and a subscriber! 🎉

  • @mongolloyd
    @mongolloyd 3 місяці тому

    Thanks Oliver. This video resonated a shitload with what's happening/ been happening in my life for years.. liked and subbed

  • @COLOFIDUTI
    @COLOFIDUTI Місяць тому +1

    spot on.I clicked expecting a bunch of woowoo shit of manifesting and shit, but turned out to be a really practical set of tips.
    about the video, i was a very anxious kid and became a type a personality and was struck with severe anxiety,the kind that the physical symptons made me avoid life pretty much.After years of avoidance, victim mentality and absolute fear of dying I realised the anxiety was not curse instead it is like my anxiety is a alarm to my true path in life, everytime im not being true and honest with my self and stray away from my path , anxiety comes to remind me what im doing

  • @lucasbracher
    @lucasbracher 2 місяці тому +2

    Thank you. I already heard that before, but the way you presented it made me click things.
    Thank you so much.
    I think I need mature friends to help me, and therapy, of course.

  • @nomadicchef5337
    @nomadicchef5337 14 днів тому

    Great video bro.

  • @thomasgyebi8717
    @thomasgyebi8717 3 дні тому

    I still have a mental immaturity that im trying to overcome maladaptive daydreaming

  • @nicoblanco4348
    @nicoblanco4348 9 місяців тому +13

    Unfortunately I hit all 5 of these points and then some. Im seeking therapy and hoping to get better while I still have time

  • @drewsimpson886
    @drewsimpson886 5 місяців тому +40

    6th sign: Having a generic print of the Mona Lisa balancing on top of an Ikea couch.

  • @jawneethecurious
    @jawneethecurious 3 місяці тому +2

    Pretty good Oliver, pretty good!

  • @KK-sg5gl
    @KK-sg5gl 5 днів тому

    I am unrelentingly devoted to a life of freedom. Financial freedom, freedom of movement, and freedom from unchosen responsibilities.
    Society has a way of bogging people down with extra responsibilities that seem to go along with the responsibility that you choose for yourself.

  • @patrickcowley3786
    @patrickcowley3786 4 місяці тому +1

    Wow Oliver Knows what he's talking about, I have ALL the symptoms.

  • @prim2152
    @prim2152 4 місяці тому +1

    Great video

  • @jasongretencord3326
    @jasongretencord3326 3 місяці тому +4

    I only recently started a serious career and caring about life. I feel like I am inching toward my goals, but at least I have goals now.

    • @theboombody
      @theboombody 14 днів тому

      It never happens in huge strides. ALWAYS by inches. Keep up the good work. Took me 8 years to reach one of my goals, and it was definitely worth it.

  • @connorohare229
    @connorohare229 3 дні тому

    Guilty of 2, 3, and 5 to a subconscious level.

  • @Joedeanbryson
    @Joedeanbryson 11 місяців тому +2

    Guilty, another great video brother!

    • @OliverCowlishaw
      @OliverCowlishaw  11 місяців тому

      Thankyou, brother!

    • @KH-rt3ef
      @KH-rt3ef 9 днів тому

      You’re not an alpha male! You’re not even a sigma male! You’re a Peter Pan boy!!

    • @Jivanmukta84
      @Jivanmukta84 3 дні тому

      You are not guilty. You have not chosen your conditioning. Life reconditions you or not. No choice about it. Nobody choose to remain immature. Nobody chooses to suffer. That's the way how life appears without anybody choosing it.

  • @owenjc9132
    @owenjc9132 5 місяців тому +5

    You'll be a great dad

  • @MaaZy_
    @MaaZy_ 3 місяці тому +11

    “ *Hell is full of parents, especially dads* “
    “_George Carlin_”

  • @niahoad
    @niahoad 2 місяці тому +1

    I regress often to that mindset. Especially after my burnout. I know what I should do, but my depression and anxiety slow me down all the time.

  • @GGamersUnited
    @GGamersUnited 3 місяці тому +3

    OMFG you know your shit!
    I figured a lot of this myself, I am in my 30s now, but did not do much about it in order to fix it. I did fix some, but way more is to go.
    Putting it in so well together in words, it is just amazing and give me confirmation on the right perspective. Also yes, this is not surface level shit, but the good actual stuff we need!
    Thank you! Like and Subbed! :) All the best to you and your family man!

    • @OliverCowlishaw
      @OliverCowlishaw  3 місяці тому +1

      I'm glad you enjoyed mate. Welcome aboard 🔥

  • @zizuzan
    @zizuzan 10 місяців тому +8

    If u really intrestred in this topic, Japanese call this for hikikomori, there is deep understanding of this.

  • @artnunymiss2530
    @artnunymiss2530 2 місяці тому

    Oh my God I wish you could have given this talk to my dad :( He wasted his entire life. It was such a drag to know him. And he could have been such an amazing guy.

  • @WarriorPrime1
    @WarriorPrime1 5 місяців тому

    Brilliant! THanks

  • @lavatr8322
    @lavatr8322 18 днів тому +1

    Out of all that I have 3rd - Anxiety.
    Also I am Socially Inept. I don't know how to make friends. I don't know how to stay in conversation.
    I don't talk to women(whom I get smitten by)
    Also I undervalue myself. And deprecate myself every morning

  • @patricia5886
    @patricia5886 19 днів тому

    You described my husband perfectly. And just realized I can’t help him.😢

  • @Just-A-Guy42069
    @Just-A-Guy42069 21 день тому +2

    Everyone at school has this

  • @haihai5293
    @haihai5293 26 днів тому

    Good video. Its all true.

  • @BaddieZaddie
    @BaddieZaddie Місяць тому

    That last bit of the video is spot on. Regardless of all the false “acceptance” movements going around - nobody gives a flying fuck if a man doesn’t have it figured out. Add the fact that attention has become a scarce resource and you get a deeply troubling society for young men and men dealing with PPS to grow.

  • @garbaczzoltan6255
    @garbaczzoltan6255 9 місяців тому +3

    Thank you for the video. It was very helpful. I can totally relate to everything you mentioned; my story with my parents was a bit different. My father was around but my mom didn’t let him being involved in my childhood. I can relate to being a mommy’s boy and seeking for her comfort in an intimate relationship. Being a gay man it makes it even more twisty because looking for this fulfillment in another man makes it seem very sick from the outside point of view. I would appreciate if you could also talk about this topics related to gay men a bit more. Thanks again Oliver!

  • @vahjyna994
    @vahjyna994 Місяць тому

    I’m 20 but I still feel like I’m maybe 13, 14. Just that kid who would mess about in school with friends and didn’t worry about a single thing in life because “I’ll figure it out later”. Now I just miss being that age and everything is quite overwhelming, hard to find a sense of direction. In some ways I don’t want to grow up and even am slightly scared to, while also wanting to be completely self sufficient and independent and dependable for all those around me. I still try to take action towards anything I can and I try my best to remain disciplined and responsible and mature in all aspects of life but it never feels like I’m truly growing up. Just feels like aging physically with more challenges to face but still stuck in the young years trying to find my way around

  • @iNeo1
    @iNeo1 2 місяці тому +2

    I find this video very confusing, because I feel like I have "Peter Pan Syndrome" to a certain degree, due to absent/passive father and all that, but I'm almost the exact opposite of those 5 signs.

  • @magnusfreeborn
    @magnusfreeborn День тому

    I feel like a slave trapped in a prison.

  • @GnomeEU
    @GnomeEU 15 днів тому +2

    I know I'm a kid in my 40ies.
    Do I care? Nah.
    Do I have to change for anyone? Nah
    Life's good if you're immature.

    • @OliverCowlishaw
      @OliverCowlishaw  14 днів тому

      The world has been deprived of the man you could have been.

    • @GnomeEU
      @GnomeEU 13 днів тому +3

      @@OliverCowlishaw What could i have been? I'm Batman. How can you be cooler than Batman?

    • @christopherrobin361
      @christopherrobin361 7 днів тому

      @@OliverCowlishaw F--- the world, shill.

  • @Daneiladams555
    @Daneiladams555 6 місяців тому +4

    I’m a 52 year old boy
    But I know it’s trauma

  • @mattmobbs2205
    @mattmobbs2205 3 місяці тому

    Love it thanks wish ur videos was long to listen in the bath or bed haha ❤

  • @malu5117
    @malu5117 Місяць тому +2

    I'm all of these but i'm a women

  • @mercurious5053
    @mercurious5053 9 місяців тому +8

    As a single parent (mother) to two boys I'd love to know how to fill the void of the absent father without prohibit the boys' journey into manhood

    • @OliverCowlishaw
      @OliverCowlishaw  9 місяців тому +8

      Encourage them to go to sports clubs. Preferably in a competitive setting where male mentorship is required. Combat sports are ideal, in my opinion.

    • @mercurious5053
      @mercurious5053 9 місяців тому +4

      @@OliverCowlishaw yea, makes sence. Tho I think there's a need for broader, more profound guide lines for single mothers to boys. How to parent so they become good men with confidence, drive and integrity.
      Sports is good, but not enough. Like broccoli is good, but there's more to a healthy diet. Would love a deep-dive into the subject.

    • @niahoad
      @niahoad 2 місяці тому +1

      Encourage them to do any MMA. Mixed Martial Arts, fighting sports. It helped me to grow from a teenager into a Man. With mma, you learn to compose yourself, how to defend yourself, it makes you confident and best part: you learn how to manage your anger.
      Truth is, everybody, every man woman transperson child feels anger from time to time. When you are practicing MMA, you learn to control that anger and turn it into something constructiv. And also, show them the netflix show cobra kai 😉

    • @DiamondMind630
      @DiamondMind630 2 місяці тому

      Give them some simple chores to do daily and check out some books by Jocko W for children

  • @EmsEms81
    @EmsEms81 6 місяців тому +10

    Discovering your partner is a man child as the effort drops is nothing less than revolting. There are role models everywhere as we move through life, it doesn’t always fall on a father. Men 30+ will have met many role models and discovered that remaining a teen isn’t a good thing. In my opinion it’s just easier to not grow up so they choose not to. What’s even more revolting is man children who show their masculinity by belittling women and treating them as subordinates. I see it often. What a joke. (I’m not talking about all men, neither am I anti men, just anti man child in relationships - also I know a few women like this too! )

    • @Mrimperfections777
      @Mrimperfections777 5 місяців тому

      Excuse meeee
      Your talking like a female.?
      What about sub conscious ?
      Most adults are.immature
      CHILDISH
      Peter Pan syndrome comes from trauma as a child..full stop 🛑
      Ask me..
      The man you shit down..
      What was his childhood like?
      Usually a father is to blame..❤

  • @Monsieurgaming311
    @Monsieurgaming311 Місяць тому

    mate, are having call with you for the first time need payments.. did not get that information on the calendly..

  • @danny91pr
    @danny91pr Місяць тому +1

    I watched your video, and I appreciate your point of view. However, in my defense and maybe other people who feel like I do. I think it's important to recognize that all individuals struggle with all of these 5 things to different degrees and at different stages of their lives. And it seems to me you're painting a picture of an idealized man.
    That being said, I think what is the most important trait in an adult. Is self awareness, and the ability to recognize your weaknesses and furthermore the willingness to work towards improving one self everyday.

    • @theboombody
      @theboombody 14 днів тому

      Awareness means nothing without willingness. Sometimes you can be willing without even being aware. You say, "I don't know what good this will do, but I'll do it anyway." And if you do it, you were willing. And that can make a huge difference. Some people are aware of their addictions and just pontificate on them day and night without making any serious effort to do anything else.
      So I believe willingness is 10 times more important than awareness.

    • @danny91pr
      @danny91pr 13 днів тому +1

      @@theboombody yeah I literally said willingness to work towards improving yourself

  • @alanevans7527
    @alanevans7527 4 місяці тому

    Thank you

  • @ronnysarkar
    @ronnysarkar 11 місяців тому +2

    I needed to see this video to know that I was a man-child 6 years ago
    Thank you so much Oliver

  • @biblereadingmum1239
    @biblereadingmum1239 4 місяці тому

    Guilty of a few of these. Im under 20 so there is hope

  • @undard
    @undard День тому

    It's really difficult to watch this video with Tinkerbell screaming "the guy knows nothing about this !!!" In my ear .

  • @DiamondMind630
    @DiamondMind630 3 місяці тому

    Oliver what are your thoughts on ADHD?

  • @Mo3tazDwidar
    @Mo3tazDwidar Місяць тому

    How does this not have a million views?.. man keep going you are great!

  • @neinkalando2519
    @neinkalando2519 15 днів тому

    I have a learning disability and I have a low I.Q 67 so, many things about me reflect that I am a man child even though I live on my own on SSI in state housing

  • @KK-sg5gl
    @KK-sg5gl 5 днів тому

    The music in the background is low volume, thank goodness, but it’s still distracting.

  • @mythmakroxymore1670
    @mythmakroxymore1670 3 місяці тому +1

    Had a rude awakening with woke writers for gaming companies, like Sweet baby, then i saw exactly 2 vids from Jordan Peterson, then i found myself here.
    Idk how much blame to take, or to project to others, because i grew up with adhd and autism. But i’m thankful i have a part time job. I’m 25, and many people would say i’m young. But i don’t think so. I think i’ve thrown away a lot of opportunities between forgetting and refusing to take my meds in college. I wound up detoxing from them while doing garden work at a monastery, and now i’m a garbage guy for a local general store. I feel like i’ll always be asling questions because the only i answers i know are “repeat what you learned” which i adopted at school, “run from your problems and feelings” which i learned when a kid betrayed my opinion of my crush to my whole class, and “just go with it” because i want to be nice to others even if i didn’t always agree. So i became passive, receptive to my whims. But i just got my first chicken cooked with my mom’s help despite her being sick. It… feels bad making her give me the help i need. I wish i grew up sooner. And I fear I’ll wish that every day until my final breath.
    Maybe i should look for some kind of carpentry thing, i got some teaching while at the monastery from building small porches in the hermitage.

  • @rdelamadrid
    @rdelamadrid 5 місяців тому

    How did you get inside my head? The diagnosis I received is ADHD, not this, though.

  • @jsbehucbejizveish
    @jsbehucbejizveish 7 місяців тому +1

    So I have number 1 and 5 but I'm 20 years old, do I have Peter Pan Syndrome?

  • @MememommyXtreme
    @MememommyXtreme 6 місяців тому

    Thanks...

  • @jordanchilde2177
    @jordanchilde2177 8 місяців тому +4

    I have been diagnosed with ADHD about four years ago, but lately I’ve come across this and I feel this fits me a lot more. Is this a thing

    • @roberttorres9360
      @roberttorres9360 5 місяців тому +1

      I just, don't like with most people.. I look back, I could been divorced twice.. I don't drink or do drugs or smoke.
      When your truly a empathic like myself . Avoid certain things.. to keep your brain from mental stress.
      I don't do conventions or gaming.. I read alot.. and hobbies..

  • @KH-rt3ef
    @KH-rt3ef 9 днів тому +1

    You’re the most Peter Pan lookin dude I’ve ever seen 😆

  • @hodes7562
    @hodes7562 2 місяці тому +3

    Damn the wording is so specific ´´looking to climb back inside the womb´´ I had that exact thought when i hugged my mom on lsd, that felling of safety from the outside world.
    I really like this video, seems like my overthinking can lead me to these explanations that seem to be right, only problem is that i don't do anything with that information, even thou I feel better in my own head at least something I guess.
    Everything that you said fits so perfectly, now I just need to actually do something and not just make more excuses to waste time on pointless entertainment that is not even entertaining anymore mostly just a way to escape.

  • @Devilcry2k6
    @Devilcry2k6 2 місяці тому +5

    Here's a list identifying 20 of these fallacies, along with brief explanations:
    1. Hasty Generalization: Generalizing the behavior of some men as "man-child" based on limited observations.
    2. Appeal to Authority: Citing his own experience with men to substantiate broad psychological claims.
    3. Appeal to Ignorance: Suggesting that the absence of a father or male role model is the primary or sole reason for the alleged psychological issues, without substantial evidence.
    4. Begging the Question: Assuming that the "man-child" phenomenon is real and problematic without providing a robust argument to prove this assertion from the outset.
    5. Circular Reasoning: Using the term "Peter Pan syndrome" to describe men who act like children and then using childish behaviors to prove the existence of this syndrome.
    6. False Dichotomy: Suggesting that men either face life head-on or remain in an adolescent state, ignoring other nuanced approaches to life and maturity.
    7. Red Herring: Introducing irrelevant matters like sexual behaviors and their supposed links to emotional connections with mothers to the discussion of maturity.
    8. Straw Man: Misrepresenting the opposition by implying that critics or other viewpoints might trivialize the importance of psychological maturity.
    9. Overgeneralization: Extending the behavior of a few individuals to all men experiencing similar circumstances.
    10. False Cause: Claiming that specific behaviors (like anxiety or sexual compulsions) directly result from a lack of fatherly initiation, without considering other possible psychological or social factors.
    11. Slippery Slope: Suggesting that a lack of traditional initiation rites inexorably leads to lifelong immaturity and psychological issues.
    12. Moralistic Fallacy: Assuming that because becoming a mature, independent man is desirable, the methods proposed (like facing life head-on) are the only correct ways to achieve this.
    13. Bandwagon Fallacy: Implying that because many men reportedly face these issues, the observations and conclusions drawn must be universally applicable and accepted.
    14. Appeal to Emotion: Employing emotional appeals to instill fear about remaining a "man-child" rather than using logical reasons why one should strive for maturity.
    15. Ambiguity: Using vague terms like "emotional dependency" and "man-child" without clearly defining them, making the argument difficult to analyze critically.
    16. Non Sequitur: Claims about sexual behavior and compulsions do not logically follow from the previous arguments about emotional immaturity tied to familial structures.
    17. Cherry Picking: Selecting only those instances that support the narrative of failed adult transitions due to paternal absence, while ignoring cases that contradict this narrative.
    18. Loaded Question: Framing questions and problems in a way that presumes unproven theories about psychological development (like Peter Pan syndrome).
    19. Ad Hominem: Subtly criticizing men who would not watch the video, implying they are in denial or irresponsible, thereby discrediting them rather than addressing their potential arguments.
    20. Appeal to Flattery: Commending viewers simply for watching the video as a way to keep them engaged, rather than focusing purely on delivering factual or helpful content.
    These fallacies detract from the logical integrity of the argument, relying instead on emotional appeal, generalizations, and assumptions rather than evidence-based conclusions.

    • @OliverCowlishaw
      @OliverCowlishaw  2 місяці тому +1

      "Young men who are overpowered by their mothers [often] escape into the realm of the intellect, to escape the mother's power and the animus pressure, by getting into the realm of books and philosophical discussion - which they think mother does not understand. He saves his mental masculinity but sacrifices his phallus: his earthly masculinity and his creativity. The vitality of action, that masculinity which molds the clay, which seizes and molds reality, he leaves behind, for that is too difficult; he escapes into the realm of philosophy. There is no real question behind such philosophy. Such people have no genuine questions. For them it is a kind of play with words and concepts and is entirely lacking in any convincing quality." - Marie-Louise von Franz
      I invite you to put at least as much energy into questioning your motivations here as you did with this comment.
      That is assuming that your comment wasn't a Chat GPT response (which it definitely is).

    • @stephenjones5304
      @stephenjones5304 2 місяці тому +1

      Very nice presentation. And most convincing. Don't worry about the reply from someone who doesn't get it. The question of motivations is irrelevant to the logic you have presented, but not a surprise when someone is logically outgunned. He also made a lot of assumptions about you that have not been proven, as a kind of indirect attempt at insulting you. Also, there is an ego thing going on with the other gentleman. It is all about what is true, not about who has the truth or how it was found (by you or GPT). Overall though, I do like that he is trying to help.

    • @Devilcry2k6
      @Devilcry2k6 2 місяці тому +2

      While I appreciate the dialogue your video has initiated, I am under no obligation to agree with your perspectives. My initial comment was intended to encourage a substantive discussion based on the content and claims you presented. Unfortunately, rather than addressing the points I raised, your response seemed to divert to personal assumptions about my motivations and the tools I used, such as ChatGPT.
      Regarding your usage of Marie-Louise von Franz's quote, it appears to serve as an appeal to authority rather than a direct engagement with the logical criticisms I offered. Von Franz, despite her contributions to psychology, was not immune to the common pitfalls of humanistic theories, such as reliance on authority, confirmation bias, and overgeneralization. These are not trivial academic points but are central to ensuring our discourse is grounded in robust argumentation rather than reverence for authority.
      In your response, there was an opportunity to clarify or deepen the discussion about the psychological themes you explored. Instead, it felt like the complexities of individual and cultural experiences were overshadowed by a broader, possibly oversimplified narrative. For instance, my background, influenced by diverse familial and cultural dynamics, offers a different lens on the role of parental figures, challenging the universality of the scenario depicted in your video.
      Lastly, it seems there is a commercial aspect to your channel’s theme, which might influence the content you produce. While there's nothing inherently wrong with this, it’s vital for viewers to consider potential biases that might arise from entrepreneurial interests, especially when the content touches on personal and societal well-being.

    • @Devilcry2k6
      @Devilcry2k6 2 місяці тому +2

      @@OliverCowlishaw The response from the video uploader contains several rhetorical strategies and potential logical fallacies:
      1. **Ad Hominem**: This fallacy occurs when the argument is directed against the person rather than the position they are maintaining. Here, the uploader suggests that the commenter's motivations need questioning, and implies that the comment lacks genuineness because it might be generated by ChatGPT. This attack on the commenter's motivations and the insinuation about the use of an AI detracts from addressing the actual content of the comment.
      2. **Red Herring**: The uploader introduces a new topic about young men being intellectually dominated by their mothers and escaping into intellectual pursuits, which is not directly relevant to the logical fallacies listed in your original comment. This shifts the focus from the original discussion about logical fallacies in the video to a different psychological analysis, thereby avoiding addressing the issues raised.
      3. **Straw Man**: By suggesting that those who engage deeply in philosophy or intellectual pursuits are merely escaping from reality and that their discussions lack genuine questions or convincing qualities, the uploader is potentially misrepresenting the nature and value of philosophical discourse. This generalization does not engage with the specific arguments you presented and instead criticizes a distorted version of intellectual engagement.
      4. **Genetic Fallacy**: This fallacy involves dismissing a claim based on its origin rather than its merits. The uploader hints at dismissing your comment by questioning whether it was generated by ChatGPT, implying that if it was produced by AI, it is inherently less valid or worthy of consideration.
      5. **Appeal to Motive**: This fallacy occurs when a conclusion is dismissed based on the presumed motives of its proposer rather than the merits of the conclusion itself. The uploader’s suggestion that you should examine your motivations implies that your argument might be biased or personally motivated, which does not address the substance of your comment.
      In defense of using ChatGPT:
      - **Tool for Enhanced Communication**: ChatGPT, like any other tool, aids in communication by helping users articulate their thoughts more clearly and efficiently. It can serve educational purposes, improve writing skills, and facilitate discussion by providing information or framing arguments.
      - **Promotion of Critical Thinking**: Using ChatGPT can promote critical thinking by offering perspectives or arguments that the user might not have considered, encouraging deeper engagement with topics.
      - **Accessibility**: ChatGPT makes complex information more accessible to people who might have barriers to traditional educational resources, thereby democratizing access to knowledge.
      The intent behind using ChatGPT should be to enhance discourse and provide support in formulating well-rounded arguments, not to replace genuine personal engagement. Its use in crafting a comment, as long as it fosters constructive discussion and critical thinking, is a legitimate augmentation of human capabilities.
      -ChatGPT :)

    • @GloryBlazer
      @GloryBlazer 26 днів тому

      @@Devilcry2k6 could you tell me what did you ask chat GPT to generate such a great breakdown of possible imperfections in manner of debate ?

  • @sensus494
    @sensus494 19 днів тому

    This broccoli zoomer speaks wisdom beyond his years.

  • @giuseppeLizzi-rj3er
    @giuseppeLizzi-rj3er Місяць тому

    I still remember being punched in the face when I was in year 4 at primary school I must of been 7 years old I’m 39 years old now I still have no confidence in myself my life has felt like a disaster I lost my mum 6 years ago I still don’t feel like a real man I have to many thoughts and ideas and I honestly don’t feel good about anything

  • @TheColtonStreeter
    @TheColtonStreeter 10 місяців тому

    I was doing good, but then I tried to date and it brought out all of my trauma all over again.

    • @OliverCowlishaw
      @OliverCowlishaw  10 місяців тому +1

      That's what dating and relationships do. Bring our pain/trauma to the surface. Hope you're well, mate.

    • @gr8645
      @gr8645 6 днів тому

      @@OliverCowlishaw Whoa... That could be why I don't enjoy dating. No, I have no interest in fixing that. Only interested in fixing how I make money since I love money more than women. If i can just get to where I can make enough to cover my expenses and not hate what I'm doing, i can be happily single.

  • @Darren-sn4ki
    @Darren-sn4ki Місяць тому

    I have PTSD and narcissistic abuse and childhood trauma and my father was never really in my life my dad cheated on my mom they divorced when I was 13 and I’ve been avoiding my life and stuck in grief and loss and pain emotional trauma and complex trauma

    • @MJ-qb5ph
      @MJ-qb5ph 23 дні тому

      It is devastating - I have the same from my entire nsrcisstic family cult system

  • @adamchavez999
    @adamchavez999 2 місяці тому

    This is 100% my father.

  • @GrandePunto8V
    @GrandePunto8V Місяць тому +1

    What's the female version, syndrome name? Must be one.
    And it's more common than male version nowadays (but males are gaslighted otherwise, shaming tactics, especially in public space).

  • @whereswaldo5740
    @whereswaldo5740 25 днів тому

    What is the female version
    Barbie syndrome?

  • @irakotlik
    @irakotlik 6 місяців тому

    when you watch happily just the right video to send to your wonderful yet peterpanish husband and you realize it speaks to you too 😅😂 we do have a good excuse though - we are artists, so its a bit more tricky because there is conscious choice to keep that wonder ridden free spirit protected and nourished and at the same time grow a strong adult. Not one or the over, but both… which I guess what growing into hero/ess essencially is. Thank you Oliver!! You have super lovely compassionate delivery. There is a term “male mother” you might heard of and these are shaman-like male figures who were the ones to take boys through initiation.. the ones who can hold and embody both - mother’s kindness and father’s clarity and devotion to the one goal.

  • @916nene
    @916nene 9 місяців тому +4

    Is this also why I’m gay?
    My mother was my father and mother at the same time until I was 15, because my dad was always working outside of 🇺🇸, and I learned how to cook, clean and even babysitter my brothers.
    Now I’m gay, I’m 34 but I feel 19. I see my friends and I see them super old looking and I’m say to myself “ew they ugly and fat” and I look at myself and I look super young on the mirror.
    Also I’m afraid to get old the thought scares me so much and idk I keep thinking about things I wanna do but then i realized I’m old not young. I want to be normal and have a family. Even tho I’m gay I haven’t had a boyfriend or girlfriend or sex. I’m just a dam teen. Also my friends are 19-25. Is crazy and embarrassing now

    • @VerdugoSD
      @VerdugoSD 5 місяців тому

      What if you're not gay? lol You sound more confused than anything. Just saying...

    • @user-fm5eh1fi5z
      @user-fm5eh1fi5z Місяць тому

      You're probably a man child based on what you said, but being a man child has nothing to do with being gay. There are many straight guys in the comments relating to being a man child too.

  • @brynax170
    @brynax170 27 днів тому

    Is it bad?

  • @Freethoughtpodcast
    @Freethoughtpodcast 3 дні тому

    I still blame ppl but ima watch

  • @jacqueslee2592
    @jacqueslee2592 6 місяців тому +2

    The cause of this was the economic turmoil in 2008, housing crisis, recession, and pandemic. These socioeconomic crisis were the reason as many men when becoming 18 ended up not fulfilling the milestone of having a job, no less a summer job, to help out with the bills at home or start living on their own or finance college to learn the basic skills of independence. This happened to me and I am in my 30s. I went through isolation and regression, but my health and relationship with family began to deteriorate at 18 as the pressure to become independent and an adult were not fulfilled. My recovery outcomes from 2008 crash and hospitalization would have been better if I had supportive family during hard times, but they just made matters worse that I went on a spiral of decline, then housing crisis and pandemic happened. Moment of silence for all those men who are the lost generation.

  • @Theworldhasgonebonkers
    @Theworldhasgonebonkers 20 днів тому

    I feel 80 but Im only 40😅🤣😂...I take it I'm on the right track then😅

  • @Haybcde
    @Haybcde Місяць тому +2

    Thanks for this video. The guy I like exhibits man child behaviors in his 30s. It’s so hard to be with him, so I think I’m going keep him as friend 😢
    All my friends and family warned me that I should not want to “mommy” a man child (rough life)

  • @shazmanbound1496
    @shazmanbound1496 28 днів тому

    I feel like a psycho inside 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @sashgalaxys8145
    @sashgalaxys8145 27 днів тому

    I think my recently ex boyfriend has this syndromes exactly all. But i broke up ..being rude to him.. thinking its not my job to explain everything.. but he's really a non violent, call and kind person but lies, does things like a child does. After the break up i thought back all his characteristics.. he is actually a man child he just crave for attention and affection..! 😢 he did those mistakes with me out of immaturity. He never waited me to leave him. He wants to talk to me as a friend. He felt affectionate by me. Well I want to support him being a friend!! But how can i ? Should i tell him that he is a man-child ? Wouldn't that hurt him or shock him?? He seems he thinks he is very smart and mature person lol..!! But i really want to be beside him being compassionate, just a listeners..

  • @blackkix1154
    @blackkix1154 2 місяці тому

    Im a manchild but I don't care anymore. I already gave up with life.

  • @jonglass9052
    @jonglass9052 6 місяців тому +1

    The strange this I found about my last relationship {which was after a year and a half of self imposed singledom) was that she believed I pushed her into the mothering role when that’s genuinely the last thing I want. I’ve been through many acts of commitment, overcome addiction, am devoted to my daughter and know that i am also committed to being the man I want to be. I have bipolar and experienced a manic episode which I think triggered her into believing this but I was I’ll - I think this is very different to me being well and did require some input of care. We’ve broken up now as it felt like the relationship polarised us to some degree but more so that she believed something was happening that i honestly don’t agree it was. It still hurts though, I was also 100% committed to her. Better I find someone that can see who I truly am. There was also an age difference….Im 44 and she’s 27.

  • @shiner8375
    @shiner8375 Місяць тому

    I just concentrate on eating healthy, getting in shape, try speaking more directly learning to control the situation once in a while. Make direct eye contact treat women the same as men I mean don’t change your personality for women.

  • @tunshwe760
    @tunshwe760 6 місяців тому +1

  • @BritMemes
    @BritMemes 3 місяці тому

    Im 25 i feel like im 15

  • @nathanericschwabenland88888
    @nathanericschwabenland88888 4 місяці тому +1

    beleive it or not the movie x men made me from a boy a man at age eight from 2000 AD because of mystique its like you think disney princesses are cool well watch this and yet disney owns fox which owns the x men

  • @umayoga4213
    @umayoga4213 6 місяців тому

    🎉

  • @FilthyCasualRacing
    @FilthyCasualRacing 5 місяців тому

    I was told I was a man child simply because I played video games and race RC cars as a hobby. At first I thought yeah maybe, but I don't know that's the case. Sure I watch porn and do the M word, but I don't do it constantly. I suppose it could be "Compulsive" but it's not something I do every single day and ritualize it. I am committed. I have a wife, two kids, and I take care of them and want to be with them and spend time with them. Now I do have anxiety, but... I'm a combat veteran and a lot of my anxiety comes from a different place and I have been getting help (some therapy and zoloft have helped considerably)... Responsibility? I jump into it. I am well respected at work and in my field. I'm a section manager and I deliver on every single project I'm involved in to a very high degree. When it's time for raises I always get a fat one and I don't believe I have had a year where I wasn't awarded a bonus because I always push above and beyond. I don't lie. My wife tells me I should try to sometimes lol. I'm the opposite, just brutally honest. To a fault. I did not really have a father figure. I had an abusive step father, my biological father just bailed, and had to remind myself that this is not how a man is supposed to treat his children so when I had kids I did it VERY different. So I guess my question is this: Is Peter Pan syndrome or Manchildism defined or is it possible to be defined simply by having hobbies that are considered "Childish?" Thoughts?

  • @samueljackson6188
    @samueljackson6188 8 місяців тому +1

    What if your a man but everyone treats you like a child?

  • @rogerkreil3314
    @rogerkreil3314 4 місяці тому

    Interesting….

  • @wedomusic.
    @wedomusic. 7 днів тому