THERES PLENTY OF MATURE MEN THAT GOT CUCKED OUT BY ANOTHER DUDE, WIFE TOOK THE KIDS, AND CLEANED OUT THE BANK ACCOUNT. I WILL KEEP ACTING LIKE PETER PAN!
Hello Oliver, I like your video and how it has shown these issues in myself. I know you have a perspective of a heterosexual man. How would this be applied to homosexual men?
Does “Peter pan syndrome” matter if I go to work, pay the bills, fund my own hobbies and interests? I spent a whole day collecting shiny rocks early in my career and earned a nick name that will stick around forever, it’s a good one apparently. Acting childlike is not inherently bad, unless it is causing strife in your life. I find freedom in doing what I want. I don’t think you’re describing a “man child” per se, I think you’re describing immaturity in general, for everyone.
I always thought/believed that keeping the child in me alive was a way of spiritual growth and an act of rebellion towards what society conditions us to be. Reaching 38 now, still living with mom, lost another job recenty, escaping myself with weed, alcohol and videogames, every relationship run away from when things got a hard, every project, job, course enthusiastic started but never completed...yup I am definition of Peter Pan syndrome... I also loved the film Hook when I was an actual kid. Thank you for creating this video, it has woken me up in ways nothing else could.
I think you are right in that. BUT! There is a difference between child-like curiosity and young spirit, and avoiding responsibility while simultaneously escaping challenges by engaging in addiction and harmful behaviour. It's never too late to change. Keep the youthful essence, but also take responsibility for your own actions mate. Good luck brother!
That’s a belief I have, but I think true maturity and one aspect of spiritual development is about embracing responsibility and controlling one’s impulses. A healthy child-like mentality is enjoying life and having curiosity, PLEASE keep these aspects but gradually embrace your responsibilities and don’t let bad impulses make you choose bad decisions.
I handled things in the same way, you're not alone. I've stopped drinking and I've been living on my own now for 4 months. Yeah it's scary but, definitely worth it. Take a chance!
I like one of the fan theories about that movie. Because Peter Pan can't grow up, he murders everyone, before they get too old to stay in Neverland, thus, making Captain Hook the good guy.
I feel 15 still but I am 37 I feel like i am stuck at that time of my life I met my ex-girlfriend. We was together 20 years and I still feel I’m still there 😢
Any memory older than 18 months which still creates an emotional response is a memory you haven't processed yet. We remain the age we were hurt the most, if we don't do the work on ourselves. You've got a journey ahead.
1. You have sexual compulsions (masturbation/porn) 2. You’re uncommitted (you have ideas, but don’t start/finish them) - pick a project, define a point of completion, stick with it no matter what 3. You have anxiety - embrace it, don’t run away from it 4. You avoid responsibility - clarify what’s important for you, commit to it 5. You’re lying - notice when you lie, start telling the truth I like the conclusion “it’s not your fault”. We couldn’t control how we were raised in the childhood. Realizing you’re a man-child is a half-work. What’s important is to not put guilt into our fathers or us, but to try to work with the mess that we are in today, without constant judgement.
What if I'm a cynical bastard who is philosophically committed to 2 things: freedom & power. That is all I really care about and practically having "power" or control over my own life and choices is non negotiable. For this reason I only begrudgingly work for other people IF I have to and prefer to be a freelancer as opposed to a wage-slave or a boss. I always hated being one of the few ppl in a corporate team that has work ethic and ends up doing most of the work while others slack off. Its better being a professional, setting boundaries, with a good reputation. I also have 0 commitment in relationships especially to the opposite sex in sexual relationships as these eventually devolve into a situation where I'm just trapped and she nags me with demands. That was always the moment I cut ties and bolted. I was told I'm a man-child for refusing to "grow up" and live the same as people in society. To me tho it just seems like the people who say "peter pan syndrome" or "man child" are just trying to trick me into falling in line and being like them. The very thought of complying is repulsive tbh..
@@Brakka86you have so much trauma. You present as a dismissive avoidant. Which is a trauma response. The fact you think you are being tricked by this information is enough to make this assessment but your entire comment confirms it. Please stay single unless you plan to get help because people like this destroy healthy people. You want control and power because you don’t feel like you have any.
thanks about the father thing mentioned, I struggle hard with that, but I came to realize it myself. We can not pick our parents and we can not turn back time. Our fathers, for better or worse, did their best. If I became a father around 28 like my father did, well....I was not ready to be one, I still have to work on a lot of things, but I would have prolly done the same mistakes my father has done with me. So yeah, lets work on our daddy and mommy issues, without fully blaming our parents and just keep developing! Society needs strong men! Not some fkn weaklings. We have to grow up, but on our own terms for sure!
There might be a difference between having a young mindset and being a man-child. I am software developer, 38, working mostly with people aged 22-32. I am curious like a child 😂 Still I developed my career, I live on my own and are responsible. It's different if you have your things put together but you have a young mindset. I see a lot of people who are old-young. Plenty of people in their 30's or 40's who gave up on life and lost youthful energy. I prefer to have that young energy, even if people will call me a Peter Pan 😅
I don't think the absence of a father is necessarily a hard link to being a man-child. My father passed away when I was 8, and it forced me to have to take on more responsibility and handle and conquer a far deeper emotional journey and anxiety, than I ever would had he still been alive.
I think he was saying it the other way round: being a man-child has a "hard link" to absence of the father; this does not entail that absent fathers therefore result in immaturity.
Well my father left when i was 7 and im 20 now and i am a man child. My mother became the man in the house and to this day decides what i should do and what to say
I'm 40 and feel like a teenager still. I don't feel it's a struggle at all. I love it. It probably helps I'm settled down and married with children to a woman that likes my playful nature. I'm not ashamed of it at all.
There's being young at heart and then there is this syndrome were you let others raise you or you avoid mature personal relationships or responsibilities.
Im 25 and i realized im a man child all I do is go to work,smoke weed ,and play the game i live with my mom along with my 3 lil siblings but i pay all the bills no car and dont save money im saying all this because i ask for some words of encouragement, prayers, and harsh criticism/tough love
Being 25 and living at home is not a bad problem bro that’s quite smart money wise considering you have a bad money habit already. Definitely start working out and learn more ,start reading books from other men and going out more . You will definitely start changing and developing a lot more
Damn son, 26 years old here. Its insane that I'm coming here now, I'm actually up at 3am watching this. I havent watched the video yet, but I'd like to say I appreciate the effort to help those like me. I've looked all over trying to figure out what's up with me. I'm only now starting to realise that my mom got with my step dad who was originally living at his moms when they met. He raised me for 14 years. He was rude, angry, anxious, avoidant. It didn't occur to me that he was a grown child. I mean it did but I didn't think about how it affected me because I hated him. Noticing it now its almost like I've been competing with him on how to be better at being a man child. I hope its possible to get rid of this autopilot tunnel vision ordeal.
Just with hope as an energy mate, you have a foundation to work on. Being aware of your shortcomings is the most important step, and you have that. Nothings set in stone, just be mindful and act accordingly. You got this!
I think people confuse being young-minded with being child-minded. If you put your things together, you are responsible adult, have plans for future and execute them - nothing wrong here. I prefer to surround myself with like-minded people than be forced to "act" like "an adult". Which is what? If you don't have those 5 signs you are all right. There are plenty of people who have a youngish sense of humor and a ton of hobbies, also having younger energy. If you try to "act" older - most likely you will loose that energy and grow old quickly
@@HCforLife1 I don’t have a job, have a fear of driving despite years of trying to learn to do it, never have been on a date, and live with my parents. Trust me, I’m 15 in all respects.
I'm 33 and don't feel like an adult, can't drive neither. But I feel fine, I mange to date and get married. I got some responsabilities and I don't want to have children. I want all my time to my wife and I. And I feel young at mind.
Feels like life has no real purpose. Marriages are a crock, buying a house is too expensive, starting a business- near impossible. Might as well be alone and enjoy life.
I feel like this video is full of generalizations. It poses the assumption that anxiety is something you can control. I doubt that anyone who claims this had panic attacks in their life. I would like to know the research this guy bases his arguments on
This man speaks nothing but facts. Before music, I studied psychology major in university. He’s terms are simple, but the principal concepts are spot on with many men nowadays (INCLUDING myself). Took many years of my life to finally “cut the umbilical cord”.
fun fact: peter pan became peter pan because his mother literally abandoned him (it's in the original book). he mentally went to "neverland" to deal with the trauma of having a mother who didn't love him. I wonder, to the degree that "peter pan syndrome" is prevalent among men in the world, how much of it is trauma that men have of their mothers refusing to actually be mothers? their mothers robbed them of a true childhood, so they spend the rest of their lives in search of the childhood they never had. sure, we talk about "toxic masculinity" a great deal, but it's time to talk about toxic femininity.
How about both parents not being parents? And yes, the longing for a childhood one has never had is a very omnipresent feeling for those who, on top of severe developmental disabilities, were also completely neglected.
Thank you Oliver - this is such a positive constructive video and you provide hope for those struggling with PP Syndrome. I am going to start making positive changes because of your channel. Thanks bro!
I thought I was fine and normal, and then I got married at 26 and all of these thoughts and feelings opened up like a floodgate. I am turning 29 now, still married and happy, but I am still struggling with this feeling of inadequacy. I struggle to engage in idle conversations with older men as my anxiety shoots through the roof and i feel fear and embarrassment as if i was 6 years old again. Father issues are weird.
My dad left when I was 17/18. Never had that father figure since, I'm now 35, still at home, no job, don't drive, trying my hardest to get off pharma drugs.
I'm surrounded by men/boys of this nature. This helped me understand WHY they are like that. It makes sense. My father was a military man. He helped us ALL grow up early on.
This is very good, very good. I like how you broke it down, explained the why, and the exit plan. I think my husband has this. I thought for the longest while he was a narcissist it doesn't really fit his behavior and mindset. Peter Pan syndrome does.
I am 22, I still single because I am not ready to live with someone... I don't have a driver licence, I live at my parents home and almost finished my studies, I feel like I can't take care of someone. I stopped social medias some weeks ago, and watching news on TV because 90 % of the time it's bad news. It already feel weird to quit studies because I didn't prepare myself. I heard about man-child and google it. And I know now my weaknesses and I am a Man-Child... so I confirmed my decision ! Meanwhile I didn't get over this Peter Pan status I promess to stay single. I have a future anxiety to seek a job or the AI, world's conflict, my parents said I am too much mature because I don't watch TikTok, I don't follow big French youtubers (I am a frenchman) and I always dislike to be Mr. everyone and be so different, my classmates always see me like a wierd man but now I don't care like I did some months ago.
TV news in the US is horrible. I rarely watch it, instead getting my news from outside the US like the BBC or Canadian news. Anything local or somewhere else, I tend to read the online "newspapers" for information, thank you Search Engines for quickly putting the world's newspapers on my screen in a matter of seconds. (Fwiw, I know each country's/regions media is tailored to influence their population's opinions, but it's a lot easier to spot such biases when you're not the focus of their writing...and it's very interesting to see how similar in bias most media sources are!)
Btw, 22 is still young to expect adult maturity. The conventional wisdom is that guys don't really become men until 25 or so, so take it easy on yourself. Keep looking to become better, take pride in paying your own way in Life, and things will get better _because_ you will be paying your own way!
@@Name-ps9fx This, this video has nothing to do with someone who is 22. This is perfectly normal behaviour for that age. The brain does not even fully mature until mid 20s.
In my mid twenties I was floundering quite a bit. Not moving forward. My father sat me down and told me that I was going to wake up decades from now and ask where all the time went. In my 30’s that’s exactly what happened. Listen to the men that honestly care about your growth, and if you don’t have them in your life, find some. Literally go looking for some. That’s the greatest treasure you can realize as a young man.
I’m a man child and I don’t suffer any of these “symptoms”. Except maybe the commitment part, but that has to do with my view of women and the risk vs reward is too great, not because I still have a child mind. I own it. I don’t lie, exaggerate stories to make me look big/tough. I’m not stuck in the time of my life I “was most hurt”. The opposite actually. I’m stuck in the time period that life was the greatest. I know this guy wants to help, but really sounds like opinion as opposed to profession. I’m no psychologist, but I did study it as a minor for 3 years of college. This is one of those things you can’t mass everyone together for one answer. Each person is unique in their experience and why they didn’t mature into “manhood”.
I’m 29 years old and yet I am completely honestly a manchild and I’ve been one for far too long and I’m tired of it completely utterly disgustingly tired of it. Thank you so much for this video. I definitely needed it. Thank you for my algorithm for showing me. I will do all of the work necessary to become the full authentic man that I know I’m capable of being
Dear God, you have no idea how accurately you just described my life, from the absent father to the overbearing mother to an inability toward commitment (am 41, never been in a serious relationship). I am just now, finally, at long last, wising up to all this, and I just want to say thank you for this very helpful and inspiring video. Have you written a book about this? I would read it.
I'm glad it resonated mate. I also realised how difficult it can be to acknowledge these patterns in yourself. It takes courage to do so and I acknowledge that in you. I haven't yet written a book about this. But I realise this is a book I need to write. Thank you for the confirmation.
Thank you. I already heard that before, but the way you presented it made me click things. Thank you so much. I think I need mature friends to help me, and therapy, of course.
Hikikomori are not the same thing, a man child may have an active life, a hikikomori does not even go outside. It is a far more severe condition than just being deeply immature and emotionally stunted.
What's the female version, syndrome name? Must be one. And it's more common than male version nowadays (but males are gaslighted otherwise, shaming tactics, especially in public space).
strangely enough, just as Peter Pan has its own Disney animated feature, Cinderella does too... even stranger, the female equivalent of Peter Pan Syndrome is literally called the Cinderella Complex.
Fact check: It’s actually really healthy to tap into our inner child. So “man child” is not the appropriate term. We should be healing our Inner child and tapping back into it.
Important thing is to acquire some real skills that would permit you to give valuable and honest services to others. That could be anything from being a janitor to lawyer or scientist, but one has to be sure that it adds some real value to the community.
I was abused to a point where I couldn't become an adult until I was thirty. Left to learn how to live by comic books, cartoons, and by grandparents until I was 12. Child abuse should be a crime. But it's not. Now that I'm more mature, I'm fucked to chase carrots to better my life as I just got a career at 40. So unless my abusive parents get charged and I get more money, I see zero point of growing up further then I am today.
Actual sign of an inner manchild: You watch these kind of videos and let other men tell you what to do because you didnt have a father figure. You are being taken advantage of. Stop the video, do whats good for you - done deal. Bam.
"Don't let other men tell you what to do" *tells other men what to do Sorry. The irony is too good not to point out. But at the root of it, yes. Fatherlessness is the reason for this. It's one of the worst things to happen to Western society. I am taking advantage of nobody. We all need help occasionally. I hire coaches for fitness, therapy and business. Are they taking advantage of me? And I agree. Get off UA-cam and take action. Too much infotainment is another addiction. There's nothing I can say on a video that will be more important than taking the actions you need to succeed.
@@OliverCowlishaw last part is exactly what i mean, get off this whole section of youtube. But thats when the views stop, cant have that so gotta keep those poor bastards in a rabbit hole and invent problems. And naw, you do take advantage and you know it, and i know it, and anyone thinking critically knows that you go that route, its lucrativ after all.
I thought joining the Marines at 22 would be my "coming of age" experience. I was in basic for about 10 days before I fractured my femoral neck, landing me in a wheelchair for 8 weeks, then transitioned to crutches for another 6 weeks. Ended up being medically discharged. This left me feeling defeated, came back home and haven't done much with myself since then. Hopping between random, low end jobs. Lots of alcohol and weed. 31 years old now and still living at home, I've suspected for years that I'm a "man-child".
@@OliverCowlishaw It wasn't. After I was injured I was moved to MRP (medical rehabilitation platoon). It was an old, moldy barracks tucked away in the back of parris island. Those 8 weeks In was in a wheelchair the only time I left the building was in the morning to go to PT at the navy hospital. Wasn't allowed to go to the chow hall because having the other recruits see someone in a wheelchair would affect morale. So my 3 meals a day were after everyone else got done eating. AKA for 8 weeks all my meals were lukewarm at best. No phone calls. Writing letters was my only contact with the outside world. Thank god I was with a bunch of really cool, solid dudes who helped lift me up. That experience made me appreciate the small things in life. I learned how strong and resilient I was.
Oh my God I wish you could have given this talk to my dad :( He wasted his entire life. It was such a drag to know him. And he could have been such an amazing guy.
I'm 48, and a lot of this is true in my case. As an artist, I finally completed a major project this year, but it took me 29 years. The other projects, I started long ago and they're still sitting around half done. Some are done, but I never put them through the final process. I've never married, have no children, and I always run to Mother and Father in times of trouble. However, I will say, Peter Pan Syndrome has kept me looking young for the most part, and at this point in my life's journey, I feel at peace with it. I notice that ones who have 'grown up', seem not unhappy, but bored. They've met their spouse, had some kids, and now they just work and sleep. I work also, yet I'm blessed to have the time to stop and smell the sunflowers. Thanks for the videos, and God bless.
I grew up in the 80's and I'm part of that generation where the parents had to work and our generation was forgot about. Also, as a Gay man I realized that we couldn't experience our live's and feelings like our straight counterparts were able to do. Like socializing and going on dates, I think that's why a lot of Gay men are into comic books and things like that. We were unable to grow. I regressed instead of progressed. Not to mention an emotionally unavailable mother and a father who always worked. I'm trying to be an adult now and it is scary but, it's been worth it. Thanks for bringing up this topic.
Thanks for the extra motivation. Been really turning my life around the past few years since hitting 30 and wasting my 20's. Just turned 33 and I'm doing 200% better. But still have tons to work on. Ive had anxiety/panic disorder diagnosed since some trauma as a teenager. And Ive gotten better at making myself work through those situations instead of avoiding them completely. But a lot of things are still holding me back. Just gotta take those jumps. Much love everyone. Keep trying your best each day. Haven't met any of you, but I love you. ❤️ It gets better the more you challenge yourself. I promise.
A lot of this I can relate to . My life has always been a mess and losing my mother to Cancer when I was 23 may not have helped . Now I'm 60 and a carer for my 96 year old dad , along with my brother . So now it may be to late to do much about it .
OMFG you know your shit! I figured a lot of this myself, I am in my 30s now, but did not do much about it in order to fix it. I did fix some, but way more is to go. Putting it in so well together in words, it is just amazing and give me confirmation on the right perspective. Also yes, this is not surface level shit, but the good actual stuff we need! Thank you! Like and Subbed! :) All the best to you and your family man!
If that’s an actual picture of you at your current age, you look very good! You must maintain a very healthy lifestyle combined with having good genetics.
I definitely had several of these signs, but have worked through many of my challenges. 1. Emotionally disconnected from my mother. 2. Cultivated healthy relationships, namely with my 2nd wife. 3. Made the continual continuous decision to be honest, to take on challenges and seek out and work on long term goals. There is always the struggle to face the challenges of life, but thankfully, I have good support and I am willing to be honest with them, reflect on the challenges, and do something positive about them.
Had a rude awakening with woke writers for gaming companies, like Sweet baby, then i saw exactly 2 vids from Jordan Peterson, then i found myself here. Idk how much blame to take, or to project to others, because i grew up with adhd and autism. But i’m thankful i have a part time job. I’m 25, and many people would say i’m young. But i don’t think so. I think i’ve thrown away a lot of opportunities between forgetting and refusing to take my meds in college. I wound up detoxing from them while doing garden work at a monastery, and now i’m a garbage guy for a local general store. I feel like i’ll always be asling questions because the only i answers i know are “repeat what you learned” which i adopted at school, “run from your problems and feelings” which i learned when a kid betrayed my opinion of my crush to my whole class, and “just go with it” because i want to be nice to others even if i didn’t always agree. So i became passive, receptive to my whims. But i just got my first chicken cooked with my mom’s help despite her being sick. It… feels bad making her give me the help i need. I wish i grew up sooner. And I fear I’ll wish that every day until my final breath. Maybe i should look for some kind of carpentry thing, i got some teaching while at the monastery from building small porches in the hermitage.
The thumbnail and title hooked me in. But I didn't watch the video, the video watched me... I've felt this way for years and had no way to explain the feeling to anyone...
Is this also why I’m gay? My mother was my father and mother at the same time until I was 15, because my dad was always working outside of 🇺🇸, and I learned how to cook, clean and even babysitter my brothers. Now I’m gay, I’m 34 but I feel 19. I see my friends and I see them super old looking and I’m say to myself “ew they ugly and fat” and I look at myself and I look super young on the mirror. Also I’m afraid to get old the thought scares me so much and idk I keep thinking about things I wanna do but then i realized I’m old not young. I want to be normal and have a family. Even tho I’m gay I haven’t had a boyfriend or girlfriend or sex. I’m just a dam teen. Also my friends are 19-25. Is crazy and embarrassing now
You're probably a man child based on what you said, but being a man child has nothing to do with being gay. There are many straight guys in the comments relating to being a man child too.
@@OliverCowlishaw yea, makes sence. Tho I think there's a need for broader, more profound guide lines for single mothers to boys. How to parent so they become good men with confidence, drive and integrity. Sports is good, but not enough. Like broccoli is good, but there's more to a healthy diet. Would love a deep-dive into the subject.
Encourage them to do any MMA. Mixed Martial Arts, fighting sports. It helped me to grow from a teenager into a Man. With mma, you learn to compose yourself, how to defend yourself, it makes you confident and best part: you learn how to manage your anger. Truth is, everybody, every man woman transperson child feels anger from time to time. When you are practicing MMA, you learn to control that anger and turn it into something constructiv. And also, show them the netflix show cobra kai 😉
"Physically able", but there's also "mentally able." I have incredibly high levels of PTSD and am unable to even leave my apartment some days. In my mind, I want to, but that signal simply does not get to my body...and if I try to force it, I get overwhelmed and literally shut down, waking up a day or two later. I just say this because there are people who still think mental illness is not real.
@@Name-ps9fx Well, people shell-shocked coming back from a war, or escaping an abusive family are definitely going to have mental issues that others can sympathize with. Somebody claiming they're traumatized because they ran out of quarters at the arcade and couldn't get the prize they wanted is a different story.
spot on.I clicked expecting a bunch of woowoo shit of manifesting and shit, but turned out to be a really practical set of tips. about the video, i was a very anxious kid and became a type a personality and was struck with severe anxiety,the kind that the physical symptons made me avoid life pretty much.After years of avoidance, victim mentality and absolute fear of dying I realised the anxiety was not curse instead it is like my anxiety is a alarm to my true path in life, everytime im not being true and honest with my self and stray away from my path , anxiety comes to remind me what im doing
Here's a list identifying 20 of these fallacies, along with brief explanations: 1. Hasty Generalization: Generalizing the behavior of some men as "man-child" based on limited observations. 2. Appeal to Authority: Citing his own experience with men to substantiate broad psychological claims. 3. Appeal to Ignorance: Suggesting that the absence of a father or male role model is the primary or sole reason for the alleged psychological issues, without substantial evidence. 4. Begging the Question: Assuming that the "man-child" phenomenon is real and problematic without providing a robust argument to prove this assertion from the outset. 5. Circular Reasoning: Using the term "Peter Pan syndrome" to describe men who act like children and then using childish behaviors to prove the existence of this syndrome. 6. False Dichotomy: Suggesting that men either face life head-on or remain in an adolescent state, ignoring other nuanced approaches to life and maturity. 7. Red Herring: Introducing irrelevant matters like sexual behaviors and their supposed links to emotional connections with mothers to the discussion of maturity. 8. Straw Man: Misrepresenting the opposition by implying that critics or other viewpoints might trivialize the importance of psychological maturity. 9. Overgeneralization: Extending the behavior of a few individuals to all men experiencing similar circumstances. 10. False Cause: Claiming that specific behaviors (like anxiety or sexual compulsions) directly result from a lack of fatherly initiation, without considering other possible psychological or social factors. 11. Slippery Slope: Suggesting that a lack of traditional initiation rites inexorably leads to lifelong immaturity and psychological issues. 12. Moralistic Fallacy: Assuming that because becoming a mature, independent man is desirable, the methods proposed (like facing life head-on) are the only correct ways to achieve this. 13. Bandwagon Fallacy: Implying that because many men reportedly face these issues, the observations and conclusions drawn must be universally applicable and accepted. 14. Appeal to Emotion: Employing emotional appeals to instill fear about remaining a "man-child" rather than using logical reasons why one should strive for maturity. 15. Ambiguity: Using vague terms like "emotional dependency" and "man-child" without clearly defining them, making the argument difficult to analyze critically. 16. Non Sequitur: Claims about sexual behavior and compulsions do not logically follow from the previous arguments about emotional immaturity tied to familial structures. 17. Cherry Picking: Selecting only those instances that support the narrative of failed adult transitions due to paternal absence, while ignoring cases that contradict this narrative. 18. Loaded Question: Framing questions and problems in a way that presumes unproven theories about psychological development (like Peter Pan syndrome). 19. Ad Hominem: Subtly criticizing men who would not watch the video, implying they are in denial or irresponsible, thereby discrediting them rather than addressing their potential arguments. 20. Appeal to Flattery: Commending viewers simply for watching the video as a way to keep them engaged, rather than focusing purely on delivering factual or helpful content. These fallacies detract from the logical integrity of the argument, relying instead on emotional appeal, generalizations, and assumptions rather than evidence-based conclusions.
"Young men who are overpowered by their mothers [often] escape into the realm of the intellect, to escape the mother's power and the animus pressure, by getting into the realm of books and philosophical discussion - which they think mother does not understand. He saves his mental masculinity but sacrifices his phallus: his earthly masculinity and his creativity. The vitality of action, that masculinity which molds the clay, which seizes and molds reality, he leaves behind, for that is too difficult; he escapes into the realm of philosophy. There is no real question behind such philosophy. Such people have no genuine questions. For them it is a kind of play with words and concepts and is entirely lacking in any convincing quality." - Marie-Louise von Franz I invite you to put at least as much energy into questioning your motivations here as you did with this comment. That is assuming that your comment wasn't a Chat GPT response (which it definitely is).
Very nice presentation. And most convincing. Don't worry about the reply from someone who doesn't get it. The question of motivations is irrelevant to the logic you have presented, but not a surprise when someone is logically outgunned. He also made a lot of assumptions about you that have not been proven, as a kind of indirect attempt at insulting you. Also, there is an ego thing going on with the other gentleman. It is all about what is true, not about who has the truth or how it was found (by you or GPT). Overall though, I do like that he is trying to help.
While I appreciate the dialogue your video has initiated, I am under no obligation to agree with your perspectives. My initial comment was intended to encourage a substantive discussion based on the content and claims you presented. Unfortunately, rather than addressing the points I raised, your response seemed to divert to personal assumptions about my motivations and the tools I used, such as ChatGPT. Regarding your usage of Marie-Louise von Franz's quote, it appears to serve as an appeal to authority rather than a direct engagement with the logical criticisms I offered. Von Franz, despite her contributions to psychology, was not immune to the common pitfalls of humanistic theories, such as reliance on authority, confirmation bias, and overgeneralization. These are not trivial academic points but are central to ensuring our discourse is grounded in robust argumentation rather than reverence for authority. In your response, there was an opportunity to clarify or deepen the discussion about the psychological themes you explored. Instead, it felt like the complexities of individual and cultural experiences were overshadowed by a broader, possibly oversimplified narrative. For instance, my background, influenced by diverse familial and cultural dynamics, offers a different lens on the role of parental figures, challenging the universality of the scenario depicted in your video. Lastly, it seems there is a commercial aspect to your channel’s theme, which might influence the content you produce. While there's nothing inherently wrong with this, it’s vital for viewers to consider potential biases that might arise from entrepreneurial interests, especially when the content touches on personal and societal well-being.
@@OliverCowlishaw The response from the video uploader contains several rhetorical strategies and potential logical fallacies: 1. **Ad Hominem**: This fallacy occurs when the argument is directed against the person rather than the position they are maintaining. Here, the uploader suggests that the commenter's motivations need questioning, and implies that the comment lacks genuineness because it might be generated by ChatGPT. This attack on the commenter's motivations and the insinuation about the use of an AI detracts from addressing the actual content of the comment. 2. **Red Herring**: The uploader introduces a new topic about young men being intellectually dominated by their mothers and escaping into intellectual pursuits, which is not directly relevant to the logical fallacies listed in your original comment. This shifts the focus from the original discussion about logical fallacies in the video to a different psychological analysis, thereby avoiding addressing the issues raised. 3. **Straw Man**: By suggesting that those who engage deeply in philosophy or intellectual pursuits are merely escaping from reality and that their discussions lack genuine questions or convincing qualities, the uploader is potentially misrepresenting the nature and value of philosophical discourse. This generalization does not engage with the specific arguments you presented and instead criticizes a distorted version of intellectual engagement. 4. **Genetic Fallacy**: This fallacy involves dismissing a claim based on its origin rather than its merits. The uploader hints at dismissing your comment by questioning whether it was generated by ChatGPT, implying that if it was produced by AI, it is inherently less valid or worthy of consideration. 5. **Appeal to Motive**: This fallacy occurs when a conclusion is dismissed based on the presumed motives of its proposer rather than the merits of the conclusion itself. The uploader’s suggestion that you should examine your motivations implies that your argument might be biased or personally motivated, which does not address the substance of your comment. In defense of using ChatGPT: - **Tool for Enhanced Communication**: ChatGPT, like any other tool, aids in communication by helping users articulate their thoughts more clearly and efficiently. It can serve educational purposes, improve writing skills, and facilitate discussion by providing information or framing arguments. - **Promotion of Critical Thinking**: Using ChatGPT can promote critical thinking by offering perspectives or arguments that the user might not have considered, encouraging deeper engagement with topics. - **Accessibility**: ChatGPT makes complex information more accessible to people who might have barriers to traditional educational resources, thereby democratizing access to knowledge. The intent behind using ChatGPT should be to enhance discourse and provide support in formulating well-rounded arguments, not to replace genuine personal engagement. Its use in crafting a comment, as long as it fosters constructive discussion and critical thinking, is a legitimate augmentation of human capabilities. -ChatGPT :)
I know that I have man-child tendencies. Growing up, I suffer abuse and bullying for most of my life. Because of that, it had me stuck without realizing it. Each time I've climbed up the ladder educational and career-wise I fall right back to square 1 when I am, whenever I am in the room I look at myself as the smallest person in the room, and the lack of respect I get from otters. I am going through all of that because I've never become a greater man out of the abuse. I learned to forgive and survive. But haven't learned how to protect myself, conquer, and win. I am now on my journey to becoming one of the best martial artists. I started this journey in my early 30’s. I am 37 now. I wish I'd started this when I was younger. However, financial issues, life, and being bonded to religion did not allow me to. For me, martial arts is a major step I've skipped to help with my development as a man; a major step that I've always wanted to take. 🤦🏾♂️
I watched your video, and I appreciate your point of view. However, in my defense and maybe other people who feel like I do. I think it's important to recognize that all individuals struggle with all of these 5 things to different degrees and at different stages of their lives. And it seems to me you're painting a picture of an idealized man. That being said, I think what is the most important trait in an adult. Is self awareness, and the ability to recognize your weaknesses and furthermore the willingness to work towards improving one self everyday.
Awareness means nothing without willingness. Sometimes you can be willing without even being aware. You say, "I don't know what good this will do, but I'll do it anyway." And if you do it, you were willing. And that can make a huge difference. Some people are aware of their addictions and just pontificate on them day and night without making any serious effort to do anything else. So I believe willingness is 10 times more important than awareness.
Think many alcoholics that I've known have man child syndrome. Really its not easy when those were the type of people u were drawn to as well. As we get older we need to realize that heavy drinking was holding us back from becoming better adults. Its easy to drink to escape but heavy drinking slowly tears your body apart and causes you to age rapidly. Many of us with ADHD have trouble completing goals as well. It also depends on your goals as some might not be obtainable. I've done a lot and recently got the monkey of alcohol almost complety off my back. Its not easy to do but its possible.
I REALLY don't get your point... I am childish, I enjoy making people smile over my idiotic mistakes. I have psychosomatic general anxiety disorder and I take daily medication for it, I work hard because Papa left during the pandemic and all of my money is going towards putting my sister through university. I had the chance to, so I stayed so she could have the chance as well, I'm 27, and I display all of the symptoms. I panic very easily, I'm constantly fighting procrastination and depression hits like a fucking truck but I'm there, working my ass off for her and for the people I can help, yet I have all the signs, so what? Does that make me a manchild? Am i a manchild for thinking my Papa left off too early and now I'm having to take care of everything? I should act mature just because it's fitting for a mature role? I know this isn't your intention but your video sincerely ticked me off the wrong way... I'm childish, I play Pokemon when I have time, I enjoy flirting, so what? I'm I not a strong man? What's your point... what IS your point?
I’m 47 years old, often feeling like 7 or 17, but rarely 47. Through many years, I’ve often jokingly said, that I suffer from Peter Pan syndrome without knowing the term was used by others.
You are not guilty. You have not chosen your conditioning. Life reconditions you or not. No choice about it. Nobody choose to remain immature. Nobody chooses to suffer. That's the way how life appears without anybody choosing it.
Wow, really impressed with everything about this video - obviously the message being the main point. Pleasantly surprised to hear you highlight the archetype of initiation - and the lack of it in our society.
The cure for this is just doing the work. Whatever work that needs to be done, you do it. Even if you don't have a job, surely there is something that you can do. Preparing meals for example, cleaning the house, cleaning yourself, any domestic work. Try to get an online remote job if you're good with computers. Maybe there is someone whom you can help. Never be idle, always do something. Even breathing exercises or meditation, it's a kind of work too.
This is good advice. It’s about staying active so you keep improving yourself (in different areas of life as well as by staying active!). For remote, online jobs, one could look into customer service or tutoring!
Many of us have dysfunctional childhoods and we adapt behaviors as coping mechanisms and we carry these into our adulthood. I have worked in psych and healthcare for 34 years and there is a very eye-opening book titled "Adult Children: Secrets of Dysfunctional families" written by John & Linda Friel. This book is recommended by many therapists and can give most of us insight into the roles that we may have developed in childhood and can help us challenge and modify those behaviors.
Damn the wording is so specific ´´looking to climb back inside the womb´´ I had that exact thought when i hugged my mom on lsd, that felling of safety from the outside world. I really like this video, seems like my overthinking can lead me to these explanations that seem to be right, only problem is that i don't do anything with that information, even thou I feel better in my own head at least something I guess. Everything that you said fits so perfectly, now I just need to actually do something and not just make more excuses to waste time on pointless entertainment that is not even entertaining anymore mostly just a way to escape.
Thanks Oliver. Always need that extra push to get off my butt. Instead of just sitting in this chair and watching life drift away. This year end I gotta get my business running anyhow. Commitments. That word stuck to me. 🎉
I feel like I'm a Peter pan at 57, because I've achieved nothing much in my life, it's embarrassing to me. I do not have these 5 flaws you mention. Never had a personal relationship. Never got my driver's license. Lost virginity at 43. Had spinal that affected me from age 19. Whatever little I receive from social services I give the excess to helping others in need, so I have zero life savings. I own a tiny two room home without basic utilities. My spare time is usually spent doing volunteer charity work. It's a stress free lifestyle but embarrassing to seem like a loser.
Thank you for the video. It was very helpful. I can totally relate to everything you mentioned; my story with my parents was a bit different. My father was around but my mom didn’t let him being involved in my childhood. I can relate to being a mommy’s boy and seeking for her comfort in an intimate relationship. Being a gay man it makes it even more twisty because looking for this fulfillment in another man makes it seem very sick from the outside point of view. I would appreciate if you could also talk about this topics related to gay men a bit more. Thanks again Oliver!
Living with my mom until 27 really kept me from maturing. She had this idea that I still can't take care of myself, especially when I just turned 47. And still wants me to move back home. It's just sad.
I just, don't like with most people.. I look back, I could been divorced twice.. I don't drink or do drugs or smoke. When your truly a empathic like myself . Avoid certain things.. to keep your brain from mental stress. I don't do conventions or gaming.. I read alot.. and hobbies..
These signs can be said about different cases, and each case can be narrated in different ways so if you're losing in life and you have these signs, it doesn't mean you're the same as others with similar signs.
Download my free 31-days shadow work journal and start your journey of personal growth: bit.ly/3ZQ54cx
I will never grow up getting high has always been more important than anything else I can think of
How do you change your relationship with anxiety?
THERES PLENTY OF MATURE MEN THAT GOT CUCKED OUT BY ANOTHER DUDE, WIFE TOOK THE KIDS, AND CLEANED OUT THE BANK ACCOUNT. I WILL KEEP ACTING LIKE PETER PAN!
Hello Oliver, I like your video and how it has shown these issues in myself. I know you have a perspective of a heterosexual man. How would this be applied to homosexual men?
Does “Peter pan syndrome” matter if I go to work, pay the bills, fund my own hobbies and interests? I spent a whole day collecting shiny rocks early in my career and earned a nick name that will stick around forever, it’s a good one apparently. Acting childlike is not inherently bad, unless it is causing strife in your life. I find freedom in doing what I want. I don’t think you’re describing a “man child” per se, I think you’re describing immaturity in general, for everyone.
I always thought/believed that keeping the child in me alive was a way of spiritual growth and an act of rebellion towards what society conditions us to be. Reaching 38 now, still living with mom, lost another job recenty, escaping myself with weed, alcohol and videogames, every relationship run away from when things got a hard, every project, job, course enthusiastic started but never completed...yup I am definition of Peter Pan syndrome... I also loved the film Hook when I was an actual kid.
Thank you for creating this video, it has woken me up in ways nothing else could.
I think you are right in that. BUT! There is a difference between child-like curiosity and young spirit, and avoiding responsibility while simultaneously escaping challenges by engaging in addiction and harmful behaviour. It's never too late to change. Keep the youthful essence, but also take responsibility for your own actions mate. Good luck brother!
That’s a belief I have, but I think true maturity and one aspect of spiritual development is about embracing responsibility and controlling one’s impulses. A healthy child-like mentality is enjoying life and having curiosity, PLEASE keep these aspects but gradually embrace your responsibilities and don’t let bad impulses make you choose bad decisions.
I handled things in the same way, you're not alone. I've stopped drinking and I've been living on my own now for 4 months. Yeah it's scary but, definitely worth it. Take a chance!
I like one of the fan theories about that movie.
Because Peter Pan can't grow up, he murders everyone, before they get too old to stay in Neverland, thus, making Captain Hook the good guy.
Try law of attraction. That s what I do
Jeez, I am 56 and I can identify with all of these 5 signs. Scarey, but true. The journey starts here...
It's never too late. You can do this 💪
Me too at 53, you're not alone in feeling you're in between worlds.
Go for it but don't go for it because someone else thinks you should. Do it because YOU feel you should.
Me too......damn.
You're worth the journey of finding out
I feel 15 still but I am 37 I feel like i am stuck at that time of my life I met my ex-girlfriend. We was together 20 years and I still feel I’m still there 😢
Any memory older than 18 months which still creates an emotional response is a memory you haven't processed yet. We remain the age we were hurt the most, if we don't do the work on ourselves. You've got a journey ahead.
Save some money and go to Thailand for a couple weeks to a month. Thank me later
@@UpgradeReviewsex isnt the solution for everything lmao
@@OliverCowlishaw How do you change your relationship with anxiety
@@OliverCowlishaw i feel old i tried to go back to drinking smoking and partying but i cant anymore im 33 with grey hair
1. You have sexual compulsions (masturbation/porn)
2. You’re uncommitted (you have ideas, but don’t start/finish them) - pick a project, define a point of completion, stick with it no matter what
3. You have anxiety - embrace it, don’t run away from it
4. You avoid responsibility - clarify what’s important for you, commit to it
5. You’re lying - notice when you lie, start telling the truth
I like the conclusion “it’s not your fault”. We couldn’t control how we were raised in the childhood. Realizing you’re a man-child is a half-work. What’s important is to not put guilt into our fathers or us, but to try to work with the mess that we are in today, without constant judgement.
What if I'm a cynical bastard who is philosophically committed to 2 things: freedom & power. That is all I really care about and practically having "power" or control over my own life and choices is non negotiable. For this reason I only begrudgingly work for other people IF I have to and prefer to be a freelancer as opposed to a wage-slave or a boss. I always hated being one of the few ppl in a corporate team that has work ethic and ends up doing most of the work while others slack off. Its better being a professional, setting boundaries, with a good reputation. I also have 0 commitment in relationships especially to the opposite sex in sexual relationships as these eventually devolve into a situation where I'm just trapped and she nags me with demands. That was always the moment I cut ties and bolted. I was told I'm a man-child for refusing to "grow up" and live the same as people in society. To me tho it just seems like the people who say "peter pan syndrome" or "man child" are just trying to trick me into falling in line and being like them. The very thought of complying is repulsive tbh..
@@Brakka86you have so much trauma. You present as a dismissive avoidant. Which is a trauma response. The fact you think you are being tricked by this information is enough to make this assessment but your entire comment confirms it. Please stay single unless you plan to get help because people like this destroy healthy people. You want control and power because you don’t feel like you have any.
@@Brakka86man u really have that syndrome the way u write text is clear
@@Brakka86 lol you might want to care about intelligence too. Seems like you lack it. Any person with a brain can easily dominate you.
thanks about the father thing mentioned, I struggle hard with that, but I came to realize it myself. We can not pick our parents and we can not turn back time.
Our fathers, for better or worse, did their best. If I became a father around 28 like my father did, well....I was not ready to be one, I still have to work on a lot of things, but I would have prolly done the same mistakes my father has done with me.
So yeah, lets work on our daddy and mommy issues, without fully blaming our parents and just keep developing! Society needs strong men! Not some fkn weaklings. We have to grow up, but on our own terms for sure!
I feel like a teenager until my back reminds me that I'm 50. 😂
Amen to that
I am a 35 year old and feel like a child. It even impacts the type of conversations that i have with people my age
There might be a difference between having a young mindset and being a man-child. I am software developer, 38, working mostly with people aged 22-32. I am curious like a child 😂 Still I developed my career, I live on my own and are responsible. It's different if you have your things put together but you have a young mindset. I see a lot of people who are old-young. Plenty of people in their 30's or 40's who gave up on life and lost youthful energy. I prefer to have that young energy, even if people will call me a Peter Pan 😅
@@HCforLife1 Better to be Peter Pan than Captain Hook
@@HCforLife1why don't you just feel miserable to blend into the crowd?
Help i'm a man trapped in a boyz body 🤣
@@celestialstar5563 Stay trapped then
I like how you don't approach video games/toys/cartoons as if it's a problem, because the attitudes of man-children are deeper than that
If the alternative to video games/ cartoons is to be saddled with a wife and screaming kids then I'll take Sonic the hedgehog any fucking time 😂😂
I agree, family men judge me for owning a classic car and being into cars in general. But they probably play call of duty with the bros all weekend
Me too @@chriswilkinson7636
I don't think the absence of a father is necessarily a hard link to being a man-child. My father passed away when I was 8, and it forced me to have to take on more responsibility and handle and conquer a far deeper emotional journey and anxiety, than I ever would had he still been alive.
That's right, this video is pure Bs.
I think he was saying it the other way round: being a man-child has a "hard link" to absence of the father; this does not entail that absent fathers therefore result in immaturity.
Well my father left when i was 7 and im 20 now and i am a man child. My mother became the man in the house and to this day decides what i should do and what to say
... Well that can't be right because I... 😂
I feel like a slave trapped in a prison.
This^
My adhd and depression is my prison.
@@dsweet5859 I was referring to government.
@@magnusfreeborn I think I know how you feel since I'm against government.
6th sign: Having a generic print of the Mona Lisa balancing on top of an Ikea couch.
😂
🤣
Really liked your video! And also great to see you're a good sport
I mean, it's not beer posters or hockey jerseys
A Mona Lisa is actually a pretty classy piece of art...could be a fuzzy print of bulldogs playing poker LOL!
To each his own, it's all good!
I'm 40 and feel like a teenager still. I don't feel it's a struggle at all. I love it. It probably helps I'm settled down and married with children to a woman that likes my playful nature. I'm not ashamed of it at all.
There's being young at heart and then there is this syndrome were you let others raise you or you avoid mature personal relationships or responsibilities.
Im 25 and i realized im a man child all I do is go to work,smoke weed ,and play the game i live with my mom along with my 3 lil siblings but i pay all the bills no car and dont save money im saying all this because i ask for some words of encouragement, prayers, and harsh criticism/tough love
Legit a year behind you fella take it easy on yourself.
Being 25 and living at home is not a bad problem bro that’s quite smart money wise considering you have a bad money habit already. Definitely start working out and learn more ,start reading books from other men and going out more . You will definitely start changing and developing a lot more
@@teeoneofficial552 thank you i needed to hear this
@@brock1594 thanks man I’ll try
u r Peter Pan
I only recently started a serious career and caring about life. I feel like I am inching toward my goals, but at least I have goals now.
It never happens in huge strides. ALWAYS by inches. Keep up the good work. Took me 8 years to reach one of my goals, and it was definitely worth it.
Unfortunately I hit all 5 of these points and then some. Im seeking therapy and hoping to get better while I still have time
Good luck, mate.
Religion is the best solution
I'm 64 and still get Doosh Chills when I go to the Toy Aisle at TARGET.
@@lonwolf8245 no Diddy 🤣
Damn son, 26 years old here. Its insane that I'm coming here now, I'm actually up at 3am watching this. I havent watched the video yet, but I'd like to say I appreciate the effort to help those like me. I've looked all over trying to figure out what's up with me. I'm only now starting to realise that my mom got with my step dad who was originally living at his moms when they met. He raised me for 14 years. He was rude, angry, anxious, avoidant. It didn't occur to me that he was a grown child. I mean it did but I didn't think about how it affected me because I hated him. Noticing it now its almost like I've been competing with him on how to be better at being a man child. I hope its possible to get rid of this autopilot tunnel vision ordeal.
Just with hope as an energy mate, you have a foundation to work on. Being aware of your shortcomings is the most important step, and you have that. Nothings set in stone, just be mindful and act accordingly. You got this!
“ *Hell is full of parents, especially dads* “
“_George Carlin_”
I’m 30 and don’t feel a day over 15 with 15 year old humor, desires, and feelings. I don’t feel like an adult at all. I feel like I pretend to be one.
I think people confuse being young-minded with being child-minded. If you put your things together, you are responsible adult, have plans for future and execute them - nothing wrong here. I prefer to surround myself with like-minded people than be forced to "act" like "an adult". Which is what? If you don't have those 5 signs you are all right. There are plenty of people who have a youngish sense of humor and a ton of hobbies, also having younger energy. If you try to "act" older - most likely you will loose that energy and grow old quickly
Yeah, I'm a total miscast as an adult... I'm a kid in a man's body.
@@HCforLife1 I don’t have a job, have a fear of driving despite years of trying to learn to do it, never have been on a date, and live with my parents. Trust me, I’m 15 in all respects.
Everybody is pretending no matter the age and jus winging it this is all of our 1st time at life
I'm 33 and don't feel like an adult, can't drive neither. But I feel fine, I mange to date and get married. I got some responsabilities and I don't want to have children. I want all my time to my wife and I. And I feel young at mind.
Feels like life has no real purpose. Marriages are a crock, buying a house is too expensive, starting a business- near impossible. Might as well be alone and enjoy life.
Yes I tried with women and came to conclusion that it isn't worth it. I guess it's like this until the end, just me doing my stupid boy things alone
It's just a label. People go through different shit. Some far worst than others.
Is what a subject of PPS would say
@@SleepySloth2705What you just said means you haven't been through anything.
A label can help, it gives one a direction to start towards. Just keep in mind it's just a label, and can change as things develop.
I feel like this video is full of generalizations. It poses the assumption that anxiety is something you can control. I doubt that anyone who claims this had panic attacks in their life.
I would like to know the research this guy bases his arguments on
@@Bemenhorst He said anxiety caused by being a manchild. That doesnt mean that every person with anxiety = manchild.
This man speaks nothing but facts. Before music, I studied psychology major in university. He’s terms are simple, but the principal concepts are spot on with many men nowadays (INCLUDING myself). Took many years of my life to finally “cut the umbilical cord”.
Appreciate you, mate.
Your music is utterly incredible by the way.
The quote about commitment was excellent. Great vid, mate. Keep it up 👊
Thanks, mate.
fun fact: peter pan became peter pan because his mother literally abandoned him (it's in the original book). he mentally went to "neverland" to deal with the trauma of having a mother who didn't love him. I wonder, to the degree that "peter pan syndrome" is prevalent among men in the world, how much of it is trauma that men have of their mothers refusing to actually be mothers? their mothers robbed them of a true childhood, so they spend the rest of their lives in search of the childhood they never had. sure, we talk about "toxic masculinity" a great deal, but it's time to talk about toxic femininity.
How about both parents not being parents? And yes, the longing for a childhood one has never had is a very omnipresent feeling for those who, on top of severe developmental disabilities, were also completely neglected.
I’ve learned more from this video than 2 years in therapy. Thank you for this value.
I’m a 52 year old boy
But I know it’s trauma
I feel like a dead person forced to keep on living
You’re the most Peter Pan lookin dude I’ve ever seen 😆
I definitely have a babyface.
Thank you Oliver - this is such a positive constructive video and you provide hope for those struggling with PP Syndrome. I am going to start making positive changes because of your channel. Thanks bro!
I thought I was fine and normal, and then I got married at 26 and all of these thoughts and feelings opened up like a floodgate. I am turning 29 now, still married and happy, but I am still struggling with this feeling of inadequacy. I struggle to engage in idle conversations with older men as my anxiety shoots through the roof and i feel fear and embarrassment as if i was 6 years old again. Father issues are weird.
those older men don't even remember your conversations or you. with men it's in one ear and out the other.
My dad left when I was 17/18. Never had that father figure since, I'm now 35, still at home, no job, don't drive, trying my hardest to get off pharma drugs.
I'm surrounded by men/boys of this nature. This helped me understand WHY they are like that. It makes sense. My father was a military man. He helped us ALL grow up early on.
Are you a woman-child?
Mine was a military man too. And yet did everything possible in his power to not be a father.
This is very good, very good. I like how you broke it down, explained the why, and the exit plan. I think my husband has this. I thought for the longest while he was a narcissist it doesn't really fit his behavior and mindset. Peter Pan syndrome does.
I am 22, I still single because I am not ready to live with someone...
I don't have a driver licence, I live at my parents home and almost finished my studies, I feel like I can't take care of someone. I stopped social medias some weeks ago, and watching news on TV because 90 % of the time it's bad news. It already feel weird to quit studies because I didn't prepare myself. I heard about man-child and google it. And I know now my weaknesses and I am a Man-Child... so I confirmed my decision !
Meanwhile I didn't get over this Peter Pan status I promess to stay single. I have a future anxiety to seek a job or the AI, world's conflict, my parents said I am too much mature because I don't watch TikTok, I don't follow big French youtubers (I am a frenchman) and I always dislike to be Mr. everyone and be so different, my classmates always see me like a wierd man but now I don't care like I did some months ago.
TV news in the US is horrible. I rarely watch it, instead getting my news from outside the US like the BBC or Canadian news. Anything local or somewhere else, I tend to read the online "newspapers" for information, thank you Search Engines for quickly putting the world's newspapers on my screen in a matter of seconds.
(Fwiw, I know each country's/regions media is tailored to influence their population's opinions, but it's a lot easier to spot such biases when you're not the focus of their writing...and it's very interesting to see how similar in bias most media sources are!)
Btw, 22 is still young to expect adult maturity. The conventional wisdom is that guys don't really become men until 25 or so, so take it easy on yourself. Keep looking to become better, take pride in paying your own way in Life, and things will get better _because_ you will be paying your own way!
@@Name-ps9fx This, this video has nothing to do with someone who is 22. This is perfectly normal behaviour for that age. The brain does not even fully mature until mid 20s.
In my mid twenties I was floundering quite a bit. Not moving forward. My father sat me down and told me that I was going to wake up decades from now and ask where all the time went. In my 30’s that’s exactly what happened. Listen to the men that honestly care about your growth, and if you don’t have them in your life, find some. Literally go looking for some. That’s the greatest treasure you can realize as a young man.
I'm a child trapped in a broken old man's body.
Why not fix your body
I’m a man child and I don’t suffer any of these “symptoms”. Except maybe the commitment part, but that has to do with my view of women and the risk vs reward is too great, not because I still have a child mind. I own it. I don’t lie, exaggerate stories to make me look big/tough. I’m not stuck in the time of my life I “was most hurt”. The opposite actually. I’m stuck in the time period that life was the greatest.
I know this guy wants to help, but really sounds like opinion as opposed to profession. I’m no psychologist, but I did study it as a minor for 3 years of college. This is one of those things you can’t mass everyone together for one answer. Each person is unique in their experience and why they didn’t mature into “manhood”.
I’m 29 years old and yet I am completely honestly a manchild and I’ve been one for far too long and I’m tired of it completely utterly disgustingly tired of it. Thank you so much for this video. I definitely needed it. Thank you for my algorithm for showing me. I will do all of the work necessary to become the full authentic man that I know I’m capable of being
God bless you… you’re brave! I wish you success !❤
@@angelab.804 thank you!
Why all that hate? How does it affects you?
I’m a woman, but have found this video extremely useful!
This is one of the best and most important videos I've ever seen in my life.
😂
@@michaelanderson7708 Yuck it up all you want, but the reality is, something compelled you to check out this video too, ya goofy.
Dear God, you have no idea how accurately you just described my life, from the absent father to the overbearing mother to an inability toward commitment (am 41, never been in a serious relationship). I am just now, finally, at long last, wising up to all this, and I just want to say thank you for this very helpful and inspiring video. Have you written a book about this? I would read it.
I'm glad it resonated mate. I also realised how difficult it can be to acknowledge these patterns in yourself. It takes courage to do so and I acknowledge that in you.
I haven't yet written a book about this.
But I realise this is a book I need to write. Thank you for the confirmation.
Thank you. I already heard that before, but the way you presented it made me click things.
Thank you so much.
I think I need mature friends to help me, and therapy, of course.
If u really intrestred in this topic, Japanese call this for hikikomori, there is deep understanding of this.
There's actually a really good anime based on that called Welcome to the NHK
Hikikomori are not the same thing, a man child may have an active life, a hikikomori does not even go outside. It is a far more severe condition than just being deeply immature and emotionally stunted.
What's the female version, syndrome name? Must be one.
And it's more common than male version nowadays (but males are gaslighted otherwise, shaming tactics, especially in public space).
strangely enough, just as Peter Pan has its own Disney animated feature, Cinderella does too... even stranger, the female equivalent of Peter Pan Syndrome is literally called the Cinderella Complex.
Fact check: It’s actually really healthy to tap into our inner child. So “man child” is not the appropriate term. We should be healing our Inner child and tapping back into it.
beta
Important thing is to acquire some real skills that would permit you to give valuable and honest services to others. That could be anything from being a janitor to lawyer or scientist, but one has to be sure that it adds some real value to the community.
I was abused to a point where I couldn't become an adult until I was thirty. Left to learn how to live by comic books, cartoons, and by grandparents until I was 12. Child abuse should be a crime. But it's not. Now that I'm more mature, I'm fucked to chase carrots to better my life as I just got a career at 40. So unless my abusive parents get charged and I get more money, I see zero point of growing up further then I am today.
Actual sign of an inner manchild: You watch these kind of videos and let other men tell you what to do because you didnt have a father figure.
You are being taken advantage of. Stop the video, do whats good for you - done deal. Bam.
"Don't let other men tell you what to do"
*tells other men what to do
Sorry. The irony is too good not to point out.
But at the root of it, yes. Fatherlessness is the reason for this. It's one of the worst things to happen to Western society.
I am taking advantage of nobody. We all need help occasionally. I hire coaches for fitness, therapy and business. Are they taking advantage of me?
And I agree. Get off UA-cam and take action. Too much infotainment is another addiction. There's nothing I can say on a video that will be more important than taking the actions you need to succeed.
@@OliverCowlishaw last part is exactly what i mean, get off this whole section of youtube. But thats when the views stop, cant have that so gotta keep those poor bastards in a rabbit hole and invent problems. And naw, you do take advantage and you know it, and i know it, and anyone thinking critically knows that you go that route, its lucrativ after all.
@@VALY-zm2tk follow your own advice, mate.
@@OliverCowlishaw Good decision to back out, but then again, its a lucrative space you chose. Good luck
Anime PFP, classic.
I thought joining the Marines at 22 would be my "coming of age" experience. I was in basic for about 10 days before I fractured my femoral neck, landing me in a wheelchair for 8 weeks, then transitioned to crutches for another 6 weeks. Ended up being medically discharged. This left me feeling defeated, came back home and haven't done much with myself since then. Hopping between random, low end jobs. Lots of alcohol and weed. 31 years old now and still living at home, I've suspected for years that I'm a "man-child".
Thanks for sharing, brother. That couldn't have been easy getting an injury so soon into the Marines like that.
@@OliverCowlishaw It wasn't. After I was injured I was moved to MRP (medical rehabilitation platoon). It was an old, moldy barracks tucked away in the back of parris island. Those 8 weeks In was in a wheelchair the only time I left the building was in the morning to go to PT at the navy hospital. Wasn't allowed to go to the chow hall because having the other recruits see someone in a wheelchair would affect morale. So my 3 meals a day were after everyone else got done eating. AKA for 8 weeks all my meals were lukewarm at best. No phone calls. Writing letters was my only contact with the outside world. Thank god I was with a bunch of really cool, solid dudes who helped lift me up. That experience made me appreciate the small things in life. I learned how strong and resilient I was.
Oh my God I wish you could have given this talk to my dad :( He wasted his entire life. It was such a drag to know him. And he could have been such an amazing guy.
I'm 48, and a lot of this is true in my case. As an artist, I finally completed a major project this year, but it took me 29 years. The other projects, I started long ago and they're still sitting around half done. Some are done, but I never put them through the final process. I've never married, have no children, and I always run to Mother and Father in times of trouble. However, I will say, Peter Pan Syndrome has kept me looking young for the most part, and at this point in my life's journey, I feel at peace with it. I notice that ones who have 'grown up', seem not unhappy, but bored. They've met their spouse, had some kids, and now they just work and sleep. I work also, yet I'm blessed to have the time to stop and smell the sunflowers. Thanks for the videos, and God bless.
I grew up in the 80's and I'm part of that generation where the parents had to work and our generation was forgot about. Also, as a Gay man I realized that we couldn't experience our live's and feelings like our straight counterparts were able to do. Like socializing and going on dates, I think that's why a lot of Gay men are into comic books and things like that. We were unable to grow. I regressed instead of progressed. Not to mention an emotionally unavailable mother and a father who always worked. I'm trying to be an adult now and it is scary but, it's been worth it. Thanks for bringing up this topic.
Thanks for the extra motivation. Been really turning my life around the past few years since hitting 30 and wasting my 20's. Just turned 33 and I'm doing 200% better. But still have tons to work on. Ive had anxiety/panic disorder diagnosed since some trauma as a teenager. And Ive gotten better at making myself work through those situations instead of avoiding them completely. But a lot of things are still holding me back. Just gotta take those jumps. Much love everyone. Keep trying your best each day. Haven't met any of you, but I love you. ❤️ It gets better the more you challenge yourself. I promise.
This was really fascinating
And you a have fantastic presence and explaining things ❤
A lot of this I can relate to . My life has always been a mess and losing my mother to Cancer when I was 23 may not have helped . Now I'm 60 and a carer for my 96 year old dad , along with my brother . So now it may be to late to do much about it .
What is the female version
Barbie syndrome?
The Cinderella Complex apparently
nail on the head about absent fathers
OMFG you know your shit!
I figured a lot of this myself, I am in my 30s now, but did not do much about it in order to fix it. I did fix some, but way more is to go.
Putting it in so well together in words, it is just amazing and give me confirmation on the right perspective. Also yes, this is not surface level shit, but the good actual stuff we need!
Thank you! Like and Subbed! :) All the best to you and your family man!
I'm glad you enjoyed mate. Welcome aboard 🔥
Good video. It's a strange thing that I cope with my anxiety by watching UA-cam but then come across videos like this.
This is me. Life changed at 19 and I’m kind of stuck around there… nearly 40 years old. 😢
If that’s an actual picture of you at your current age, you look very good! You must maintain a very healthy lifestyle combined with having good genetics.
I definitely had several of these signs, but have worked through many of my challenges.
1. Emotionally disconnected from my mother.
2. Cultivated healthy relationships, namely with my 2nd wife.
3. Made the continual continuous decision to be honest, to take on challenges and seek out and work on long term goals.
There is always the struggle to face the challenges of life, but thankfully, I have good support and I am willing to be honest with them, reflect on the challenges, and do something positive about them.
Had a rude awakening with woke writers for gaming companies, like Sweet baby, then i saw exactly 2 vids from Jordan Peterson, then i found myself here.
Idk how much blame to take, or to project to others, because i grew up with adhd and autism. But i’m thankful i have a part time job. I’m 25, and many people would say i’m young. But i don’t think so. I think i’ve thrown away a lot of opportunities between forgetting and refusing to take my meds in college. I wound up detoxing from them while doing garden work at a monastery, and now i’m a garbage guy for a local general store. I feel like i’ll always be asling questions because the only i answers i know are “repeat what you learned” which i adopted at school, “run from your problems and feelings” which i learned when a kid betrayed my opinion of my crush to my whole class, and “just go with it” because i want to be nice to others even if i didn’t always agree. So i became passive, receptive to my whims. But i just got my first chicken cooked with my mom’s help despite her being sick. It… feels bad making her give me the help i need. I wish i grew up sooner. And I fear I’ll wish that every day until my final breath.
Maybe i should look for some kind of carpentry thing, i got some teaching while at the monastery from building small porches in the hermitage.
The thumbnail and title hooked me in. But I didn't watch the video, the video watched me...
I've felt this way for years and had no way to explain the feeling to anyone...
Is this also why I’m gay?
My mother was my father and mother at the same time until I was 15, because my dad was always working outside of 🇺🇸, and I learned how to cook, clean and even babysitter my brothers.
Now I’m gay, I’m 34 but I feel 19. I see my friends and I see them super old looking and I’m say to myself “ew they ugly and fat” and I look at myself and I look super young on the mirror.
Also I’m afraid to get old the thought scares me so much and idk I keep thinking about things I wanna do but then i realized I’m old not young. I want to be normal and have a family. Even tho I’m gay I haven’t had a boyfriend or girlfriend or sex. I’m just a dam teen. Also my friends are 19-25. Is crazy and embarrassing now
What if you're not gay? lol You sound more confused than anything. Just saying...
You're probably a man child based on what you said, but being a man child has nothing to do with being gay. There are many straight guys in the comments relating to being a man child too.
So I need to finish playing final fantasy 7 before starting on another game. Alright! Path to manhood here I come !!
It's your life, mate. We all have to face the consequences of our choices sooner or later.
As a single parent (mother) to two boys I'd love to know how to fill the void of the absent father without prohibit the boys' journey into manhood
Encourage them to go to sports clubs. Preferably in a competitive setting where male mentorship is required. Combat sports are ideal, in my opinion.
@@OliverCowlishaw yea, makes sence. Tho I think there's a need for broader, more profound guide lines for single mothers to boys. How to parent so they become good men with confidence, drive and integrity.
Sports is good, but not enough. Like broccoli is good, but there's more to a healthy diet. Would love a deep-dive into the subject.
Encourage them to do any MMA. Mixed Martial Arts, fighting sports. It helped me to grow from a teenager into a Man. With mma, you learn to compose yourself, how to defend yourself, it makes you confident and best part: you learn how to manage your anger.
Truth is, everybody, every man woman transperson child feels anger from time to time. When you are practicing MMA, you learn to control that anger and turn it into something constructiv. And also, show them the netflix show cobra kai 😉
Give them some simple chores to do daily and check out some books by Jocko W for children
They're fucked and it's your fault. Should've kept the pants on.
I'm 23 and CONSTANTLY think I'm very unmature, but i believe it's not wrong to feed that inner child everyone has.
One thing makes you a man-child for sure. You are physically able to perform a job, but you never make any attempt to look for one.
"Physically able", but there's also "mentally able." I have incredibly high levels of PTSD and am unable to even leave my apartment some days. In my mind, I want to, but that signal simply does not get to my body...and if I try to force it, I get overwhelmed and literally shut down, waking up a day or two later.
I just say this because there are people who still think mental illness is not real.
@@Name-ps9fx Well, people shell-shocked coming back from a war, or escaping an abusive family are definitely going to have mental issues that others can sympathize with. Somebody claiming they're traumatized because they ran out of quarters at the arcade and couldn't get the prize they wanted is a different story.
spot on.I clicked expecting a bunch of woowoo shit of manifesting and shit, but turned out to be a really practical set of tips.
about the video, i was a very anxious kid and became a type a personality and was struck with severe anxiety,the kind that the physical symptons made me avoid life pretty much.After years of avoidance, victim mentality and absolute fear of dying I realised the anxiety was not curse instead it is like my anxiety is a alarm to my true path in life, everytime im not being true and honest with my self and stray away from my path , anxiety comes to remind me what im doing
Here's a list identifying 20 of these fallacies, along with brief explanations:
1. Hasty Generalization: Generalizing the behavior of some men as "man-child" based on limited observations.
2. Appeal to Authority: Citing his own experience with men to substantiate broad psychological claims.
3. Appeal to Ignorance: Suggesting that the absence of a father or male role model is the primary or sole reason for the alleged psychological issues, without substantial evidence.
4. Begging the Question: Assuming that the "man-child" phenomenon is real and problematic without providing a robust argument to prove this assertion from the outset.
5. Circular Reasoning: Using the term "Peter Pan syndrome" to describe men who act like children and then using childish behaviors to prove the existence of this syndrome.
6. False Dichotomy: Suggesting that men either face life head-on or remain in an adolescent state, ignoring other nuanced approaches to life and maturity.
7. Red Herring: Introducing irrelevant matters like sexual behaviors and their supposed links to emotional connections with mothers to the discussion of maturity.
8. Straw Man: Misrepresenting the opposition by implying that critics or other viewpoints might trivialize the importance of psychological maturity.
9. Overgeneralization: Extending the behavior of a few individuals to all men experiencing similar circumstances.
10. False Cause: Claiming that specific behaviors (like anxiety or sexual compulsions) directly result from a lack of fatherly initiation, without considering other possible psychological or social factors.
11. Slippery Slope: Suggesting that a lack of traditional initiation rites inexorably leads to lifelong immaturity and psychological issues.
12. Moralistic Fallacy: Assuming that because becoming a mature, independent man is desirable, the methods proposed (like facing life head-on) are the only correct ways to achieve this.
13. Bandwagon Fallacy: Implying that because many men reportedly face these issues, the observations and conclusions drawn must be universally applicable and accepted.
14. Appeal to Emotion: Employing emotional appeals to instill fear about remaining a "man-child" rather than using logical reasons why one should strive for maturity.
15. Ambiguity: Using vague terms like "emotional dependency" and "man-child" without clearly defining them, making the argument difficult to analyze critically.
16. Non Sequitur: Claims about sexual behavior and compulsions do not logically follow from the previous arguments about emotional immaturity tied to familial structures.
17. Cherry Picking: Selecting only those instances that support the narrative of failed adult transitions due to paternal absence, while ignoring cases that contradict this narrative.
18. Loaded Question: Framing questions and problems in a way that presumes unproven theories about psychological development (like Peter Pan syndrome).
19. Ad Hominem: Subtly criticizing men who would not watch the video, implying they are in denial or irresponsible, thereby discrediting them rather than addressing their potential arguments.
20. Appeal to Flattery: Commending viewers simply for watching the video as a way to keep them engaged, rather than focusing purely on delivering factual or helpful content.
These fallacies detract from the logical integrity of the argument, relying instead on emotional appeal, generalizations, and assumptions rather than evidence-based conclusions.
"Young men who are overpowered by their mothers [often] escape into the realm of the intellect, to escape the mother's power and the animus pressure, by getting into the realm of books and philosophical discussion - which they think mother does not understand. He saves his mental masculinity but sacrifices his phallus: his earthly masculinity and his creativity. The vitality of action, that masculinity which molds the clay, which seizes and molds reality, he leaves behind, for that is too difficult; he escapes into the realm of philosophy. There is no real question behind such philosophy. Such people have no genuine questions. For them it is a kind of play with words and concepts and is entirely lacking in any convincing quality." - Marie-Louise von Franz
I invite you to put at least as much energy into questioning your motivations here as you did with this comment.
That is assuming that your comment wasn't a Chat GPT response (which it definitely is).
Very nice presentation. And most convincing. Don't worry about the reply from someone who doesn't get it. The question of motivations is irrelevant to the logic you have presented, but not a surprise when someone is logically outgunned. He also made a lot of assumptions about you that have not been proven, as a kind of indirect attempt at insulting you. Also, there is an ego thing going on with the other gentleman. It is all about what is true, not about who has the truth or how it was found (by you or GPT). Overall though, I do like that he is trying to help.
While I appreciate the dialogue your video has initiated, I am under no obligation to agree with your perspectives. My initial comment was intended to encourage a substantive discussion based on the content and claims you presented. Unfortunately, rather than addressing the points I raised, your response seemed to divert to personal assumptions about my motivations and the tools I used, such as ChatGPT.
Regarding your usage of Marie-Louise von Franz's quote, it appears to serve as an appeal to authority rather than a direct engagement with the logical criticisms I offered. Von Franz, despite her contributions to psychology, was not immune to the common pitfalls of humanistic theories, such as reliance on authority, confirmation bias, and overgeneralization. These are not trivial academic points but are central to ensuring our discourse is grounded in robust argumentation rather than reverence for authority.
In your response, there was an opportunity to clarify or deepen the discussion about the psychological themes you explored. Instead, it felt like the complexities of individual and cultural experiences were overshadowed by a broader, possibly oversimplified narrative. For instance, my background, influenced by diverse familial and cultural dynamics, offers a different lens on the role of parental figures, challenging the universality of the scenario depicted in your video.
Lastly, it seems there is a commercial aspect to your channel’s theme, which might influence the content you produce. While there's nothing inherently wrong with this, it’s vital for viewers to consider potential biases that might arise from entrepreneurial interests, especially when the content touches on personal and societal well-being.
@@OliverCowlishaw The response from the video uploader contains several rhetorical strategies and potential logical fallacies:
1. **Ad Hominem**: This fallacy occurs when the argument is directed against the person rather than the position they are maintaining. Here, the uploader suggests that the commenter's motivations need questioning, and implies that the comment lacks genuineness because it might be generated by ChatGPT. This attack on the commenter's motivations and the insinuation about the use of an AI detracts from addressing the actual content of the comment.
2. **Red Herring**: The uploader introduces a new topic about young men being intellectually dominated by their mothers and escaping into intellectual pursuits, which is not directly relevant to the logical fallacies listed in your original comment. This shifts the focus from the original discussion about logical fallacies in the video to a different psychological analysis, thereby avoiding addressing the issues raised.
3. **Straw Man**: By suggesting that those who engage deeply in philosophy or intellectual pursuits are merely escaping from reality and that their discussions lack genuine questions or convincing qualities, the uploader is potentially misrepresenting the nature and value of philosophical discourse. This generalization does not engage with the specific arguments you presented and instead criticizes a distorted version of intellectual engagement.
4. **Genetic Fallacy**: This fallacy involves dismissing a claim based on its origin rather than its merits. The uploader hints at dismissing your comment by questioning whether it was generated by ChatGPT, implying that if it was produced by AI, it is inherently less valid or worthy of consideration.
5. **Appeal to Motive**: This fallacy occurs when a conclusion is dismissed based on the presumed motives of its proposer rather than the merits of the conclusion itself. The uploader’s suggestion that you should examine your motivations implies that your argument might be biased or personally motivated, which does not address the substance of your comment.
In defense of using ChatGPT:
- **Tool for Enhanced Communication**: ChatGPT, like any other tool, aids in communication by helping users articulate their thoughts more clearly and efficiently. It can serve educational purposes, improve writing skills, and facilitate discussion by providing information or framing arguments.
- **Promotion of Critical Thinking**: Using ChatGPT can promote critical thinking by offering perspectives or arguments that the user might not have considered, encouraging deeper engagement with topics.
- **Accessibility**: ChatGPT makes complex information more accessible to people who might have barriers to traditional educational resources, thereby democratizing access to knowledge.
The intent behind using ChatGPT should be to enhance discourse and provide support in formulating well-rounded arguments, not to replace genuine personal engagement. Its use in crafting a comment, as long as it fosters constructive discussion and critical thinking, is a legitimate augmentation of human capabilities.
-ChatGPT :)
@@Devilcry2k6 could you tell me what did you ask chat GPT to generate such a great breakdown of possible imperfections in manner of debate ?
I know that I have man-child tendencies. Growing up, I suffer abuse and bullying for most of my life. Because of that, it had me stuck without realizing it.
Each time I've climbed up the ladder educational and career-wise I fall right back to square 1 when I am, whenever I am in the room I look at myself as the smallest person in the room, and the lack of respect I get from otters.
I am going through all of that because I've never become a greater man out of the abuse. I learned to forgive and survive. But haven't learned how to protect myself, conquer, and win.
I am now on my journey to becoming one of the best martial artists. I started this journey in my early 30’s. I am 37 now. I wish I'd started this when I was younger. However, financial issues, life, and being bonded to religion did not allow me to. For me, martial arts is a major step I've skipped to help with my development as a man; a major step that I've always wanted to take. 🤦🏾♂️
I watched your video, and I appreciate your point of view. However, in my defense and maybe other people who feel like I do. I think it's important to recognize that all individuals struggle with all of these 5 things to different degrees and at different stages of their lives. And it seems to me you're painting a picture of an idealized man.
That being said, I think what is the most important trait in an adult. Is self awareness, and the ability to recognize your weaknesses and furthermore the willingness to work towards improving one self everyday.
Awareness means nothing without willingness. Sometimes you can be willing without even being aware. You say, "I don't know what good this will do, but I'll do it anyway." And if you do it, you were willing. And that can make a huge difference. Some people are aware of their addictions and just pontificate on them day and night without making any serious effort to do anything else.
So I believe willingness is 10 times more important than awareness.
@@theboombody yeah I literally said willingness to work towards improving yourself
Think many alcoholics that I've known have man child syndrome. Really its not easy when those were the type of people u were drawn to as well. As we get older we need to realize that heavy drinking was holding us back from becoming better adults. Its easy to drink to escape but heavy drinking slowly tears your body apart and causes you to age rapidly. Many of us with ADHD have trouble completing goals as well. It also depends on your goals as some might not be obtainable. I've done a lot and recently got the monkey of alcohol almost complety off my back. Its not easy to do but its possible.
I REALLY don't get your point... I am childish, I enjoy making people smile over my idiotic mistakes.
I have psychosomatic general anxiety disorder and I take daily medication for it, I work hard because Papa left during the pandemic and all of my money is going towards putting my sister through university. I had the chance to, so I stayed so she could have the chance as well, I'm 27, and I display all of the symptoms.
I panic very easily, I'm constantly fighting procrastination and depression hits like a fucking truck but I'm there, working my ass off for her and for the people I can help, yet I have all the signs, so what? Does that make me a manchild? Am i a manchild for thinking my Papa left off too early and now I'm having to take care of everything? I should act mature just because it's fitting for a mature role?
I know this isn't your intention but your video sincerely ticked me off the wrong way... I'm childish, I play Pokemon when I have time, I enjoy flirting, so what? I'm I not a strong man?
What's your point... what IS your point?
I’m 47 years old, often feeling like 7 or 17, but rarely 47. Through many years, I’ve often jokingly said, that I suffer from Peter Pan syndrome without knowing the term was used by others.
Guilty, another great video brother!
Thankyou, brother!
You’re not an alpha male! You’re not even a sigma male! You’re a Peter Pan boy!!
You are not guilty. You have not chosen your conditioning. Life reconditions you or not. No choice about it. Nobody choose to remain immature. Nobody chooses to suffer. That's the way how life appears without anybody choosing it.
Wow, really impressed with everything about this video - obviously the message being the main point. Pleasantly surprised to hear you highlight the archetype of initiation - and the lack of it in our society.
"I'm not acting like a child! I'm not acting like a child! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not acting like a child"!
The cure for this is just doing the work. Whatever work that needs to be done, you do it. Even if you don't have a job, surely there is something that you can do. Preparing meals for example, cleaning the house, cleaning yourself, any domestic work. Try to get an online remote job if you're good with computers. Maybe there is someone whom you can help. Never be idle, always do something. Even breathing exercises or meditation, it's a kind of work too.
This is good advice. It’s about staying active so you keep improving yourself (in different areas of life as well as by staying active!). For remote, online jobs, one could look into customer service or tutoring!
This is what I do & I’m on disability
Thank you.. I was desperately needing this wake up call.
Hey if im paying bills and taxes I'm allowed to be a man child on my own time
Actually yes, everyone besides of that are. But you are just using a justification to do so.
Many of us have dysfunctional childhoods and we adapt behaviors as coping mechanisms and we carry these into our adulthood. I have worked in psych and healthcare for 34 years and there is a very eye-opening book titled "Adult Children: Secrets of Dysfunctional families" written by John & Linda Friel.
This book is recommended by many therapists and can give most of us insight into the roles that we may have developed in childhood and can help us challenge and modify those behaviors.
Damn the wording is so specific ´´looking to climb back inside the womb´´ I had that exact thought when i hugged my mom on lsd, that felling of safety from the outside world.
I really like this video, seems like my overthinking can lead me to these explanations that seem to be right, only problem is that i don't do anything with that information, even thou I feel better in my own head at least something I guess.
Everything that you said fits so perfectly, now I just need to actually do something and not just make more excuses to waste time on pointless entertainment that is not even entertaining anymore mostly just a way to escape.
Sounds like hard work! Going Hikikomori is much easier.
I needed to see this video to know that I was a man-child 6 years ago
Thank you so much Oliver
Well done on your growth, Ronny!
I need to do difficult unpleasant things, but talk is cheap, effort takes self esteem, results are good to show off,
Everyone at school has this
I'm about 9 years old and a 67 year old body
I'm all of these but i'm a women
At least you’re honest. Hold yourself responsible. You’ll stand out from 99.99% of women.
Thanks Oliver. Always need that extra push to get off my butt. Instead of just sitting in this chair and watching life drift away.
This year end I gotta get my business running anyhow.
Commitments. That word stuck to me.
🎉
I still go to Chuck E Cheese and I don't care. Hate all you want.
I like your level of insight. Well done young man!
What are your credentials for any of this?
I feel like I'm a Peter pan at 57, because I've achieved nothing much in my life, it's embarrassing to me. I do not have these 5 flaws you mention. Never had a personal relationship. Never got my driver's license. Lost virginity at 43.
Had spinal that affected me from age 19. Whatever little I receive from social services I give the excess to helping others in need, so I have zero life savings. I own a tiny two room home without basic utilities. My spare time is usually spent doing volunteer charity work. It's a stress free lifestyle but embarrassing to seem like a loser.
Thank you for the video. It was very helpful. I can totally relate to everything you mentioned; my story with my parents was a bit different. My father was around but my mom didn’t let him being involved in my childhood. I can relate to being a mommy’s boy and seeking for her comfort in an intimate relationship. Being a gay man it makes it even more twisty because looking for this fulfillment in another man makes it seem very sick from the outside point of view. I would appreciate if you could also talk about this topics related to gay men a bit more. Thanks again Oliver!
Living with my mom until 27 really kept me from maturing. She had this idea that I still can't take care of myself, especially when I just turned 47. And still wants me to move back home. It's just sad.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD about four years ago, but lately I’ve come across this and I feel this fits me a lot more. Is this a thing
I just, don't like with most people.. I look back, I could been divorced twice.. I don't drink or do drugs or smoke.
When your truly a empathic like myself . Avoid certain things.. to keep your brain from mental stress.
I don't do conventions or gaming.. I read alot.. and hobbies..
These signs can be said about different cases, and each case can be narrated in different ways so if you're losing in life and you have these signs, it doesn't mean you're the same as others with similar signs.
Watches Jordan Peterson once;
Most sensible video I've seen in a long time