How To Stop A Narcissist From Hurting You
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- Опубліковано 4 вер 2024
- Being the narcissist’s favourite source of abuse and punishment is excruciating.
So how do you … through all this chaos get a narcissist to finally leave you alone and stop hurting you?
In this Thriver TV episode I share the most crucial things you can do to get free from a narcissist and start living your life without fear and pain.
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Those creatures can not love they don't even love their self, the best thing too do is RUN and never go back, go NO CONTACT, I've learned you don't need closure, after they treat you horribly you have too close that door and toss the key, make it up in your mind you deserve better than how your being treated, respect your self because those creatures don't they will constantly disrespect you!
Shar Hughes . No contact, doesnt always work. Especially, if youre being stalked..
Amen.
@@belleame1064 disappear dont be available change all social media. Its only hard if u have children and u still can get away no excuses, when ur tired You will change and MAKE Boundaries! Stop allowing it Period
@@belleame1064 - if criminals -who are usually not that smart- can hide from the law and everyone else you certainly can. Time to make it happen.
Shar Hughes it’s so unbelievably hard. Because they give u a small glimpse of what you’ve been waiting for just to disappoint and blame u for everything... again, and again, and again.
Quit trying to make them act like normal people. Priceless!
They are not normal people I didn't know evil people like this even exist ... Im n shock i don't think i will ever trust another soul again ... In this world i only have me no one else ....
Wow deep! You gotta write these down and put on your walls man!
God is alive
@Trey Lovely what if your family are the narcissist? Your screwed.
My husband is a narcissist. I learned to move forward in life right in front of his face. I learned that, If GOD be for Me, who can be against Me? Once I seen who he really was and is, I PRAYED for him, and forgave him and now I am moving on silently.
Narcissism is rampant these days- I have been hurt for years, trauma bonds are stronger than love- thank you Melanie for your sobering help.
Thank you for your truthfulness, though it really hurts. What a waste of life with narcissist. God have mercy
When he was ready to discard me, the mask fell, I was horrified seeing such evil in front of me, his distorted face, his bitterness towards me and everyone and everything around him. When the mask comes off it’s frightening but also enlightening
And another thing, the lesson I learned was to always acknowledge GOD in everything you do. Instead of doing what you think is best. PRAY to THE HEAVENLY FATHER and to THE HEAVENLY SON, ask for guidance in everything you do, and who you let into your life.
When he is verbally abusive he will say to me; You are projecting everything that is wrong with you onto me! Whoa
That is why you can NEVER have an authentic, heart-centered conversation with a narc. They will absolutely eat your words, then vomit them back up as weapons used against you. For example, with sincerity, you may tell a narc that they are being insensitive and rude toward you. In return, on a later occasion--and without warrant--they will stare you dead in the eye and call you insensitive and rude. It's totally numbing because you know damn well they are strategically playing emotional mind games with you. Narcs are such demonic f--ks!
The pain of being with a narcissist is worse the letting go.
Thanks. "Narcissists hurt you by projecting on to you their wounds, which are the things within their inner being which they haven't faced and taken responsibility for to heal." That sparked an "aha!" moment regarding my little sister. She lashed out at me with a shaming attack when I was feeling down. Now I can understand that she saw something in me she hasn't deal with. It was more about her than me.
The bottomless pit is a great description. Nothing is ever good enough. When we’ve achieved what we think they’ll be happy with the goalposts get move. We end up exhausted and back at square 1. Working on myself is the only thing I’ve ever found that works.
Thanks for your NARP program Tonia, it’s amazing 🙏🏽
You are very welcome The Emotional Alchemist! I'm so glad you are using NARP. It is really effective! Keep smiling, keep healing and keep thriving! Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you Melanie.... that’s what I repeat to myself - “You can’t get blood from a stone”. It’s impossible. I can never force him to do the right thing, make moral choices, stop lying and cheating. Yes he sees me as a tool that is here to please him. And if I am not willing to, he discards me and discards me. BAM!
Thank you about the remark about how it’s unhealthy for the kids to witness this abuse.... my mom kept giving me the argument that it’s better for the kids to have a 2 parent home.
It’s uncanny how accurately you describe him.
It's my pleasure Garima and I so hope this can help Dear Lady xoxox
How are you now , becouse I am going through a seme situations,hope you are well
No Contact is the answer
outofthegoldfishbowl etcetera what if hes my coworker 😞
What if he’s the father of your child and court orders mean he gets frequent face time and access time with that child. No contact is not an option.
Is worst when it's your mom
#BINGO 🔓🔕💣🎯
The ONLY answer.
I just want truth and love... it seems impossible
Be honest, and loving.
Especially when that honesty is within yourself.
Sometimes self love and finding happiness alone is our only choice... Hoping your journey is feeling less lonely.
It sure does, Frank. But eventually we will find that right person..stay positive!! These narcs are the issue not us
Is so true! Seems impossible ☹️
Me too
Hi Melanie, it's heartbreaking when you realise that so many people around you are Narcissists and that I have been a complete people pleaser. Feeling very alone🙏👼
A big huge hug! You are NOT alone.We fellow sufferers are standing with you! # won't get fooled again! 🕯️🎵
Not alone at all. That’s what Narcs secretly know. Must be lonely being a Narc making things up about you cause they’re so sad and lonely ;)
U r soo right my God .
My heart is suffering 4 years I'm trying to run away from him but some how I end up going back to him 😢
Run dear ....you will be okay
I been in it for 8yrs I want to move forward I moved out but I still can't move on and still want him . I feel like I'm going crazy.
@@melissaking8360 Trust me you will be better away from him.
My narc - after love bombing stage he started devaluing me and other crazy staff and I knew that was not normal, and that's when I researched and realise he was a narc and that they can NEVER CHANGE ... I call him one day and recorded the conversation ( I asked him questions and as you know you can never get answers it's all about them) .....and everything aligned to what I had researched researched as soon I hang up the phone I blocked him EVERYWHERE..phone...all social media's ( it was a long distance relationship) it lasted about two 3 months. Short period but i could have been seriously damaged... but I was strong and I was questioning most this he said and now looking back I'm so thankful I left.
Youre not alone, married him and 2 months into it he is hell!! Love is blind when we use our heart instead of brain. He now says he is gonna go back to his country and walk out. The thing is im done and im gonna be out before he leaves. My ex landlord said she will rent to me and ill move out when he is not home. Us empaths will be victims but im gonna change also for better but also will no longer allow people to lure me in so easily with words
Not love. Trauma bond.
These comments were so validating because I keep promising to leave him and telling everyone I will. Everyone is sick and tired of hearing me not follow through.
I'm not trying to lie. Just can't figure out HOW to STOP being addicted to his gifts and love bombing.
Problem is I don’t have anywhere to run to, because I don’t feel safe or protected from my own parents.
Hi Sammie, you can use the information in this blog to help you even though the narcissist is a parent. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/attempting-to-leave-a-narcissist/ When we heal the trauma trapped inside of us our outer world has to change to meet our new vibration and opportunities come our way. If you would like to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself please join me in the free healing workshop
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
Sending you a big warm hug 🤗. Please feel better soon.
@@MelanieToniaEvans Thank you for sending in the links, I have begun a healing journey these 2 years there's still ups and downs and a little instability but I am grateful for this because due to gaining my newfound assertiveness and personal boundary I feel that my surroundings improved. My parents I cannot change them but at times I feel they are becoming better and now I am able to breathe and not feel suffocated. Once again, I thank you for creating videos like these🙏
@@hyperplasmicsurprises6013 Thank you. I am feeling better, your warm hug is well received 🙏❤️
@@leisurelyarting I am so glad!! Much hugs and positivity going out to you, from me
You're a bright light in the darkest, dankest of places I'm truly grateful for your videos. You have helped me see what I was blind to and I'm blessed to have found you.
Melanie - this is another great video. You really hit the nail on the head when you said when we do have times of normalcy with our partner we believe there is hope and for a codependent, we thrive on HOPE and if we just work harder, we can break through and make it work and therefore, we are worthy!
I'm so glad this helps Judy. it's so good to know what this is so you can see it if this shows up again and also to help you to heal. Love and blessings xoxox
Your cat's glare at the camera at 1:09 was precious!
Hi John. Tiggy tries to get his word in edgewise, that's for sure!! xoxox
This absolutely is total truth. I"m pathetic in trying to get my narc sister to care, she just doesn't. She can't. SO I have to let her go. She is a narc, she doesn't want to know about my kids and can't care. I keep trying to communicate with her. I don't really hold her responsible, for my happiness, but I would like her to be involved with my kids as she has kids too, and they barely know one another. It's so sad. But I have to let go. This video is spot on.
Hi Seoreh,
It can be hard to face the limitations our family members have as well as to let go of the ideal we expect them to operate by. When we become our own source, meeting our own needs and solutions, often this results in some very healthy possibilities opening up. Hold the space for the best things that can happen. Focus on what you have and can do and this will help your children too. This little video will help you with this:
How can we help other people?facebook.com/MelToniaEvans/videos/10155218488967252/Much love xx
This is the best so far. I have been through this over 2 years. You have got to get away from them. Full speed ahead don't look back.
when i was with my ex i was sux dried my energy was on hyperdrive i felt like i was trauma bonded to her .like i was addicted to a drug .i wanted to tell you .i wanted to cry thank you for yours and the nice words you gave me on Facebook. i lifted myself out of that cptsd i thought i had.im free and will never settle for any kinda abuse.im done looking for people with problems i have to take care of myself first.and i take care of my codependency and my boundaries and no more people pleasure bs once i now thats all fixed i might start dating again not sure yet im very happy being alone.your such a lovely person thank you .and i do recommend people should take your course .when i see how you have helped all the people you have
Thank you for sharing my resources James. I am so glad I could help you. It is an addiction and I"m so glad you've seen that and have got control back. This is wonderful ! You've got this James! Love and blessings xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans did you ever think in some ways it was a test from above .i now its a traumatizing experience. but once you get out of that and start to heal your more capable of healing others.and you do a wonderful job in helping a lot of people so they should get your course
i do recommend certain people through my healing journey
Hi James,
I have thought about that. Here is a blog I wrote on just this topic:
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-soul-contract-with-a-narcissist/
Thank you so much for recommending these resources. It's a wonderful thing to help others in their journeys in big ways and in small ones. Everything is significant in this regard and it's very fulfilling too.
Love and blessings xoxox
How do you heal from cptsd?
OMG your videos have helped me so much. I also think that a Narcissist can also make you into one as you start mirroring. Thank you for educating me and others.
Guybon, I am so pleased they help xoxox
Guybon Berrnico yes, I was abused relentlessly from birth by an older sister with NPD, and I was always quiet, forgiving, and a pushover, up until I was near 30. I think various stressors caused me to start using some narcissistic behaviors that I had learned, even though I am actually HSP and chose Narcissists as mates. Finally, I have learned about NPD, from Melanie and others, and can both begin healing from Narc abuse, and also working to eradicate any Narc behaviors I learned. I know that is not the real me, because throughout my life, my strongest characteristic has been an overabundance of empathy. It has been hard to be honest and see that I have adopted some Narc behaviors at times. Knowing first hand how painful it is to be on the receiving end, I never want any such behaviors to be a part of me, in any way, shape or form, ever again. I still get abused by my Narc sister to this very day, but it's easier now to be like Teflon, if I'm forced to be around her. Videos like these have really helped me. A source of health and strength. Thanks Melanie.
U r correct i never been so Angry in my life.
U r correct
I've never lived such a lying life and betrayed my own values thus much in my life
@@whatsgoingon6256 it takes time to heal, I'm still healing and the issues we now have are when we form new relationships as it takes work on one's self and an understanding partner helps. Im lucky enough to have met someone who can hold a mirror up to me and say look at this bullshit sort it out. Establishment of identiying your triggers, maintaining boundaries is the way forward. Following Melanie helps, she has seen it all. Educating myself has been hard and painful, if you reading this and looking for answers hang in there I say, be strong you will get through it.
When dealing with the negative treatment from others, one of the most important things to remember is to never take it personally, no matter how much it seems like it. All abusive behaviours can be analogized as the bleeding of someone's soul, which is beginning to spill out into the world. The subtext of the communication is always "I am hurt and this is my way of dealing with it".
"When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending" ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Sbeast , we also don't want to suffer for them either by being their target.
Yes that's understandable, but this is just a way to reframe the interaction in case you encounter a
hurtful and negative person again, which is quite likely.
Unfortunately, psychopaths and narcissists do not change. "The Psychopath Next Door" by Martha Stout is a study of abusive people. She recommends building walls. I just learned the term "sadistic super-ego" from Sam Vaknin who says that he is both. They are warned by God who is their super-ego or conscience according to Rabbis but they ignore and continue to hurt other people. These people are "Human Predators" who wear the "Mask of Sanity" because they are "Wolves in Sheep's Clothing" who commit murder by suicide according to Thomas Sheridan. Please watch ua-cam.com/video/W0tPWm3vNQ4/v-deo.html which is 29 Signs of a Psychopath.
- I gave my mother everything and wanted to give her the gift of being alone and us just calling when their is a Need.But she decided to go a very wrong way-she put me with Police into Scientology rehab for seven yearsand selling my lymphnoddes ten ! for 200 000dollars.After Living in the streets I even let her go waway with this -but made it clear to kill her in case she abuses me again-but she jujst went on and treid to kill me seven times.And Police and Scintology smiled therie gave mke Arrest in mothers home -and she goes on and laughes only when I cry and begging for help in case she puts me into streets for two days withour sleep.Is my mother a narc or a Psychopath os I am too weak to act with a narcissit ????!!!!She has not the single respect - she says in the moring hey slut-you look so ugly -and she smiles very happy get me this or I call the Police abd by the way I liked it when you where crying for help in the rehab.I wanna kill her than with the pan -but I Count to ten and relax-but she makes no apuse-she since the four years of my Arrest calls me faggot homeless and I hate you and you are a loser-sometimes she puts herself in front of me and rages at me and when the phone rings she changes mood and has fun with her girlfriends-and after that coming back and raging again.Thinking of it now I guess Mother is schizophrenia and ist much worser than a narzissit-right!?Why I haTE DOCTORS And wanna kill them all ?!Why they aslways telling me you cannot expect love from mOtHer ?! I KNOW !AND I AM NOT IN THERE FOR LOVE-I WASNT THE FLAT AND A job-BUT MOTHER HIDES CLOTHES WHEN GOING TO JOB INTERVIEW AND i LOOSE IT:i BUY HER FOOD AND WANNA GIVE HER THE FUCKING ATTENTION BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH-SHE RAGES AKLL THE TIME-AND TO BE HONEST SHE DOES LOOK LIKE AN ANIMAL IN A GUCCI DRESS:AND WHAT THE DOCOTRS DANOT TELL ME IS SHE HAS A MUDBRAIN:RIGHT mUDBRAIN IS THECORRECT WORD FOR SCHIZOPHRNEIA RIGHT 111ßgUESS i EXPOSED ALL THE DOCTORS IN THE WOLRDmY MOTHER IS LIKE THE GREEN LITTLE WIMP IN SPONGEBOB THE ONE CELLED ONE !!!!!wHAT i DONT GET IS WHY MOTHER CANT BE TAKEN ONTO HOSPITAL-CORRUPTIONE
My mother is not a human being. I live life the craziest art -my mother is friendly as the frozen devil with a really freezingly smile...and her ugly childlike voice that say things to me-but you have promised to go to horliptal and pretend to be sick !Why are you so angry -we spoke aboput that yeaterday and last week-you go to live in the horpital and Show yourself sick -I am very angry with you now and will controll you - and now bring me bell peppers cut in halves-and I call the Police when you are not stop going to bed after 8 p m.And tommorrow we both taking a taxi to the horpital and you fake an illness okay-notz making me angy-you know what will happen to you if you do not say what I do telling you.So And now I wanna phone shut up and fuck yourself and Close the door behind you and dont hear Music so loud I am very touchy !That is my mother when not raging.She must be on another planet becuase I overheard a phonecall once I was frozen to death -so shocking itwas !Tomorrow Christiane has to go to Hospital she is soo very sick and beats me up allt eh time and I wanna know if she really do as I say how can I surveillcance her.....and....One hour they were talking about me in the craziest and very wrong way -abd the lies she told about m e were strange and the freind all believed the crap telling muother how strong and heroinie like she would be....Neighbour Kids laughed about me and barked-they have no idea mother really took the knife out if I dont do as she sqays.Once I made the mistake of treating her as an dement only -s the scar is on my back !And my breast is taken off !I am the slave under her complete control because she is fucking a policemen who is a Sadist !
What is funny and downright therapeutic for the narc’s target is the fear the narc shows when thinking he or she is being exposed and the truth is being revealed to the world! When I actually observed it, I got the best night’s sleep I had had in months! At all times remember that behind the mask is a trembling, terrified child in an adult body! The huffing and puffing bullying is an act to compensate for insecurity, feelings of worthlessness.
Lord please help me to get out of this quicksand of narcissistic situation I’ve been dealing with its so heart draining ...ive been listening educating myself on narcissism in order to get rid of this excruciating pains...
Mary this article of mine may help you understand why this isn't working for you blog.melanietoniaevans.com/why-learning-everything-about-narcissism-is-not-the-answer/ Please know there is another way that myself and so many others have connected to in order to heal. The starting point is here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Big hugs and please know you can get through this, I'd love to help you achieve that. xoxo
Why do they take take take take. I feel tired after 2 days around the narcissist. Drained emotionally mentally and financially. By morning being treated like a slave and talked to in a demeaning way. I had to block and attempt to go no contact for the 3rd time because they manipulate and charm to get back.... my advice. Run forest RUN
Hi Charlotte,
These relationships are very confusing and difficult. Here is a blog that will help you understand why the narcissist punishes you:
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-real-reason-why-the-narcissist-punishes-you/This will help you to know what this behaviour is and what to do about it. Love and blessings xoxox
God gives gives gives and forgives, Man gets gets gets and forgets, Demon takes takes takes and mistakes. Narcissists r demon possessed Jezbel's spirit witches wizards kleptomaniac selfish heartless criminals and cunning deceitful manipulatinng personality. Incurable disease.
Beauty For Ashes TV 2
Beauty wrote: "my advice. Run forest RUN" ... AMEN!
Thanks for the LOL that I needed today! :) :) :)
@@ajitkumardas7561 : you put it so perfectly. I am writing this and keeping on my wall. Gracias, amigo!
Love your hair, simply gorgeous!
Refreshing to hear a fellow Aussie voice
You're very right. It's time to truly let go & never look back. I think finding NARP is a message from the universe that it's high time to move forward no matter what. I am ready to let it all go.
I am delighted for you Fuline Lite and welcome to the Thriver Community. Love and blessings to you xoxox
My mother I just realized recently is a narc, my ex husband (36 years) a narc my adult sons troubled my youngest son always a mamas boy (he’s 31 now) from birth I think his dad abused him emotionally without me realizing and now he is acting like a narc and insulting me says his dad is wonderful I’m nothing ? It’s awful I got through the divorce and even had a boyfriend lived with me for 6 years who is a narc got him out of my life, that was terribly difficult . Finally after the boyfriend I started to realize I kept attracting this type of person , Friends some of my family ect . So I had to find out who and why and what. Are these people and what’s wrong with me.
And I have and I have healed much of myself years of abuse tho and physically very ill chronic and emotionally damaged, it’s hard at 58 to start over especially when you realize your own mother and your son are part of this circle of narcs and no one believes me they think I’m crazy just ignore any negative I might speak . I’m trying to cut all out of my life and start new, I have no job now to disabled I do ha e income to live on tho thankful for that. I’m just in solitary confinement is how it feels . I cry still to much over the loss of my boy my son it’s not easy to turn off the emotions connected to your children and I carry guilt because of it. I can do nothing now to change any of this so many people I seen the real them kind of shocked me I knew my husband was let’s say weird ya know what I mean but so many others in my life narcs narcs . It’s like having a funeral for 26 people ... in time I’m sure better it is better than it was ... physical health motor functions not so good it’s real battle to care to get out of bed and care about yourself . I will and I do and by the Grace of God their not going to kill me.
I witness to those younger than I to leave get away from them before you end up barely functioning. As Melanie said .
Love 💕 to you all whom deal with and have dealt with such dark entities, who will destroy you and turn and walk proud they did destroy all while wearing the mask of care and love, to everyone else they can’t blame him (them) for leaving such a messed up person . To me this is real travesty the ones you thought would always have your back .. don’t believe you.
This is about so much more than just one narc in your life, spouse significant other ect. The longer your with them the more damage to all around and in your world . Have your blood test done for cortisol levels... when you deplete that and adrenals go, from personal people stress . Many and much illness you will have. Please leave sooner the better . No reason to stay it’s your life. ❤️
Even after I put my overt/covert in jail for domestic physical abuse he got out and contacted me and didn't bother with the niceness and even though I have a 2 yr order of protection (of course that doesn't stop any Narcissist) right off the bat first words out of his mouth were YOU did this to me, YOU put me here blah blah blah. in one breath and the next asking me to get him a hotel room since I made him loose his job, money etc.it didn't happen just FYI/. needless to say he got out of jail within 24 hours he is now back in jail with further charges pending by the district attorney. I know I am better off without him....he has sucked me dry not only emotionally but financially and has gotten me to the point where I will be homeless. They don't care they just take take take without giving a damn of what they are doing...I am done giving giving giving ...it's MY turn
Robin Fennessy ....The family court system is so messed up. I've read enough comments from victims to conclude this.
Robin Fennessy I am so totally on the same page as you mentioned that you are in your experience with the Narc.. Mine also happens to be an addict which only aggregates her selfishness and manipulation... We all deserve much more than this in life. God Bless you and yours.
Yeah, what's new isn't it? You can't expect anything, but the worst from the narc. I am slowly & quietly leaving my mother. She has been a demon from hell from the very beginning. She nearly choked my cousin after getting into a disagreement. The best thing is to recover and to get your life back. Don't ever talk to them ever again. It's good to let go forever. That's what I'll do. I'm ready to lose everything to be free.
Vampire possessed witches wizards kleptomaniac selfish heartless criminals and cunning deceitful manipulating personality.
Thank you - I have a long road. Understanding the false self helps me to understand why I was beating my head against a wall.
Plus their character is like that to begin with. Plus it gets worse over the years.
Needed this as I finally severed my ties with my father. Both my parents are narcissists yet my father is the prime due to the abuses he endured in childhood. It is an awful painful journey to sever ties to your family and it doesn’t always take but you don’t want to become one yourself. THAT is the final death. So fight for your life. You are worth it and you matter. I wish my father could’ve learned that in his life. Not just for us kids and his wives, but mostly for himself.
Thank you Melanie for making these videos. You are such a blessing to all your subscribers out there. ❤️
Ever since my narcissistic father passed away a year ago I think my Mother has picked up a lot of his mentally abusive ways out of desperation to try and control everything & everyone around her, expecially towards me (her son). Its destroyed our relationship because she wont listen to anybody, not her friends, not her own mother & certainly not me. So there hasn't been a real solution to any issues and no stopping her from hurting me. I dont want to victimize this but it is a personal attack when its family.
Getting out of a 9yr abusive relationship he’s taken my home away so I’m starting over at 62 needs prayer 🙏🏻
I so much needed to hear this today. I prayed for the right episode, and here it is! Thank you so much Melanie - you are so wise and wonderful. Keep up this wonderful work xx
Love it when kitty appears in your videos. You are super inspiration for hurting people, Mel. Myself especially. Wishing you many blessings today.😊👍
Your am amazing woman!! This video and others have helped me leave for good and when the fog has lifted I can see what I was to blind to see!! God Bless you!!
Thanks Mel.
Just a few more guidelines to live without loosing myself when NARC makes me feel jealous
My pleasure Sarah xoxox
Melanie. I have found you at the most critical part of an 8 year relationship. Horrible statements and name calling. Crushing me . Destroying my manhood. I’ve lost all self respect. Lost my children and one of my best friends who btw introduced me to her. The pain is overwhelming. Everything I have watched is dead on. I am close to death.
Soul Driven, my heart goes out to you, and please know that there is hope to recover from this. I'd love you to come into my free webinar www.melanietoniaevans.com/free webinar so that you can access relief, clarity and power very quickly. Sending love and strength to you xoxox
I'm sooo very thankful for you!!!
U have helped me so much!!!
Thank U for your "beingness"!!! 😘💋❤️
So much Love and Respect~
You are so very welcome Whispering Wind. I am glad to help. Love and blessings xx
you look beautiful melanie ♥️
Thank you, Roberta!! I feel better now than I have my entire life!! Love this Thriver walk!!! Love and blessings to you. xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans I recently read the abuse you endured in your past. I'm so proud of how you've moved on and healed. How awesome.
Oh my gosh.. I have lived this for 22 years..I am just overwhelmed...this is great timely info. Thank you!!
You are SO welcome Jeannie xoxox
You are reflecting in all your being the caring and loving aspects of this message. Wow!
Thanks to you MTE, I got a grip on myself relative to my narcissistic husband. It’s a dumb dead relationship but I’ve thrived in friendships. Now my 30 year-old daughter, who lives 1000 miles away, wants back into our lives, and I’m recognizing her narcissistic qualities in her. I’m self-partnering for this episode and not expecting her to rise out of her disorder. I see I don’t matter to her, not actually.
Hi Sharon,
The anticipation and dread of having to deal with a situation like this can feel very limiting. This is where self partnering is very helpful. ❤️
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-10-most-impactful-ways-to-start-self-partnering-right-now/
So glad you’re putting out new videos! Keep em coming
Thank you for your videos they’ve been helping me out so much. When a narcissist finds insecure people and another narcissist they really have the extra tools to desmay your life. I lost my friends had to leave my job and am now living with my mum again at 28 years old. But your videos have strengthened me to rebuild and strengthens feel self worth again. Thank you
You are very welcome sweetheart. I'm so glad my videos are helping. Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you for this video... really. This has been a hard decision, very hard, with real life 'fall out'. But it had to be done. Hard.
thank you for this, i really need to learn how to let go, ive been trying and trying and he just keeps destroying me more and more in ways i never thought any human could do, and i know this and yet part of me then still looks for the proof this isnt true. why? it seems like most people dont understand just how intensely painful this process is and they make someone feel worse for being in pain and having a hard time. thats why im greatful for videos like this that remind me its not just me, im not just pathetic and over sensitive.
demons!
They need deliverance‼️
I consider myself pretty aware ... How does he know I'm prepping to leave? ... he is being super nice OMG it is frightening how he knows, what mental head crap!!! It just makes it so much more difficult to keep going with my exit plan's, I am deep breathing a lot!!!
Thank you. Cut the financials loose. They aren’t worth it. Feel so stupid but don’t play her game anymore. Children involved unfortunately, just want to run. makes my head ache.
My pleasure Simon. Please consider joining me in a free healing workshop to help relieve some of the pain and pressure from your body ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar and the free 16 day recovery course will help you to understand how to help your children too ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings to you and your children xoxox
Thank you for your detailed description. I have lost a lot. I am broken. But I'm empowered and this has solidified the empowerment!
You are very welcome Demi. I'm so glad I could help. Love and blessings dear lady xoxox
Ive just managed to escape a Narcissistic relationship. I cried all the way through watching this. My fear is wondering if ill ever be able trust it wont ever happen again if I ever meet someone else. Thank you for this I feel watching this regularly could help me
You are so welcome Cassy. I am so glad this helps. Here is another video for you on the fear of becoming involved with another narcissist:
ua-cam.com/video/5cuTB7B_X_g/v-deo.html
I hope that all of my videos are helpful to you. I also have other resources you can sign up for here:
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm
Hang in there. The answers are coming and things will get better. Love and blessings xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans
I will definitely be signing up. I feel your videos have helped me more then any others ive seen on UA-cam. Again thank you so much xx
My god I'm all over the board this week. But I realized that I have to walk away from being a parent to my daughter, who lives with my horrifically narcissistic mother. I cannot hardly live anymore with my mother's covert abuse. Stonewalling, lying, temper tantrums, gossiping, her staring down my daughter when I'm not around, and so much more. I wont survive this. But I'm leaving ,y daughter behind. Am I really the narc? I'm so devastated.
Aww Jen, no you are not a narcissist Sweetheart because a narcissist wouldn't even ask that question. Are you working with the NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program) to help you heal the wounds? When you heal your daughter may follow your lead and will learn how to act around the narc too - everything changes Sweetheart. xoxox
Omg I've had this for over 4 years, seriously but because I loved her I've been so used and hurt
I finally decided to leave after 7 years of being under his spell! But, how do you co parent with such a person?
Hi Lashondra, here are some resources that will help you with this: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact-part-2/ and blog.melanietoniaevans.com/parallel-parenting-the-evolutionary-way-to-co-parent-with-a-narcissist/ Love and blessings xoxox
The only way is learning self love...that we do not take their projection thinking our own hurt = theirs....It is cognitive dissonace .....Its HELL..once we leave...
they have the new girl/boy...with no thought off the "relationship" we beleived in.....
Dont exist.....and here we all are listening to this wonderful woman giving our validation....
I would like to say we could do the right thing and say FOMF...buy we cant because we need to understand that betray.....This is the most hidouse abuse I have every expericed...A child of rape...A child knowing today..my mother was a narc.....
How do we start again...Is finding what evil let us into our lives....
Im two years on..he has my dogs and my cat and the life I new...and today he has a new girl with another dog and a teenage son...I do not exist in his mindset at all...six and half years...and myself building his home..while he was brick my brick taking all my self esteem (what I had left through my own abuse)....ITS our soul that will bring our true indentity only by living without another....our energy needs to be for us...and us alone!!
Dear Lyn, my heart goes out to you for your pain. I have been in this exact place and is why I am here, to pass on my love and life’s work, to pay it forward for the joy and abundant life I have now. I didn’t think it possible, but I am Thriving beyond my dreams. And so can you, Dear Lady. You can start again, Lyn. There are thousands of members in my Narp Thriver community doing this exact healing. I’d love you to sign up for my free resources and begin to see your new way of life that awaits you. Love and blessings to you.xoxox. www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm
Thank you for your reply...I have signed up and ready to fly...free myself from toxic beings....I look forward for updates that will feed my detirmenation to thrive and move forward beyond any more self destruction and self abuse.....x Thank you Melanie T.E
I left my narc, back on 3/26/18 & it's working on 6 months almost. My case worker is surprised I haven't even tried to talk to him. But with what I'm remembering I certainly do not want to go back or as much as see him or even talk to him!! He has don't some terrible things & my girls, when we were still talking told me I was there, but not there & my eldest swore he drugged me. I was so exhausted back then, couldn't keep up with the house & lost most of my memory. Being free of him, my memory is coming back & all I got to say is OMG!!!
You have no idea how thankful I am for your videos. Changed my life
Aww Rebecca you are so welcome and keep thriving sweetheart - because there's nothing else to do
Melanie you talk so much truth! Light bulb moment. Thanks.
I'm so glad this helps sweetheart. Love and blessings xoxox
I love your metaphors. They are spot on.
thank you Melanie I needed this video today in fact I'm going to watch it again it was that good this really hits home your brilliant woman thank you for helping other women through this process
You are so welcome Lisa. It is a wonderful privilege to help you and others who are going through this too. Love and blessings xoxox
Love the live cat sculpture. ❤️ excellent video, they sure can hurt you so much.💔 my sister. It's extra hard because I'm an empath.
Thank you so much for your videos. They are helping me break the cycle. I am seeking out counseling for both my daughter and myself.
You are so welcome Francesca, I am so glad they are helping you. Love and blessings xoxox
Your message rings true for me. I have a sister who is a total narcissist, psychopath, She tried to take everything that mattered from me after our mother died. It has taken a court case and getting her charged by a judge for losses she incurred, to make her back off. I also had to tell all our relatives what happened and that I wanted nothing more to do with her. A public declaration is also necessary, as a narcissist will use everyone in your life, behind your back to gather intel, sabotage you, spread lies, etc. Make everyone aware. NB
Very good info my children hav witness me being abused phsicall mentally emotional for 32 years n it's does affect the children they are adult the daughter do not want to get married I am so happy n Thank god they are opposite me I cm from Asian background to get this man love I gave up every thing no life .just at home looking after the home which I don't mind the only resorc I have watching vidios on u tube.
32 years being married to him becus of this bad bad experience marriage which I still endure I hav mental health prob dreprsseion anxiety n so many other health issues I am always so ill. yu explain very nicely as always thank yu
Awe, Farida, my heart goes out to you for this pain, Dear One. It is so excruciating, I so know this and used to live this. Keep watching the videos and when you are ready, you can get my free resources to begin helping you through this. Please know, there are SO many people in my Narp community that are going through the exact same pain. Here is package with 2 ebooks to read. Love and blessings, Dear Lady. xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm
lmao i love how your cat turns around at 1.09 after you said the narcissist does whatever to get appeased .....the expression is hilarious....
Hi Melanie, It helps me, but at the same time I find it confusing! I look forward to the live stream option and hope it gets up and running! Take care and lots of love back at you mate!
Hi Dawn!! As you know, I'm not so technical, so I'm blessed beyond measure to have my peeps taking care of all that stuff!! They're working round the clock bringing it all together!! Keep you all posted as it unfolds. 😘 xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans That's radical mate, I don't blame you, I'm not techy either! Take care and thanks! Love back at you!
I gave this man 35 yrs and 2 Son's. Saw the signs but lied to myself. Damned if I do and damned if I dont
The only way to stop them from hurting you is to leave them and never communicate with them in any way at all.
They will never stop never!
Omg I was dealing with a narcissist just learnt he’s a narcissist everything you said sounds like him. I been sad to long because of he’s careless silent treatment ignoring messages, . I’m moving on.
I had to jump overboard and swim for it. The only thing I have to show for 21 years of marriage to a psychopath is my relationship with my youngest daughter. Materially, I had more at 21 when I first met him than I do now at 46. I’m grateful I got out with my life and I look forward to the day when I can reunite with my eldest daughter, who is completely alienated from me at this time.
Left in 04... still paying price... with child...the worst part was family not believing me... started gray rock by default. Thank you Melanie.. much needed validation. ,:)
Hi Melanie, this is ginormous! I have the worst time with this! I just wish that you'd consider live streams? Love back at you! Take care of you and your furbaby! Thanks
Hi Dawn,
I am so glad the video helps. We are thinking about doing live streams. Much love to you too! ❤️
Im going on 3 hours of no contact but I also have BPD. Im trying to stay strong through tears and help videos.
How's it going hope your now five months no contact and moved on.
Even though my psychopathic husband is cruel,a twister of facts,a person who knows no lows,that he will not sink to,I will love him from Afar off.I will never sink to his level ☮️
I wrote a letter stating the absolute disgust I feel toward the Narc I believe loved me deeply.
I won’t send it but it helps me.
Great message and you are looking fabulous! I needed to hear this thanks so much!
You are so welcome, Edward!! Thank you for the lovely compliment!! Blessings and light to you. Xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans thanks almost 7 weeks NC. You have been a part of this two year journey . Family day today no family but your right no one said it would be easy. A little pain always for gain.
It can be the hardest at these times. What you can do is create new traditions, meet with friends, or do something completely different. Stay open to the best things that can happen. This way you are ready to accept new experiences when they happen.
This blog can help:
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-key-to-manifesting-connecting-to-the-now/
😊
Melanie Tonia Evans thanks so much for your time. And for link going to check it out this minute.
Melanie Tonia Evans read the article found many links to other great resources. I will and have tried meditation it really is hard to not benefit from meditation.
I'm so pleased that you have put these videos out there. I would have to wait 6 weeks to see a psychologist to find some keys to make me stronger. I have been married for almost 18 years with 5 children to one. I'm struggling with a decision do I leave?
You are a very Beautiful Woman and what a wonderful thing that you are doing to help heal others! 💜
I am so happy to be able to help BrightSeraphim777. It is my pleasure. I recommend signing up for my free resources to help answer the questions you must have about these relationships. This will help you to know what to do next. You can sign up here:
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htmLove and blessings xoxox
another great video and this look is great! The tone of your hair is amazing!!!!
As I’ve tried to work through my own wounds from narcissists, I’ve wondered if I have some of these traits myself. Outside of my family, I depended on others to make me feel loved and put a lot on them emotionally that should have been only brought up to a therapist. I don’t think I did a good job of listening to them and their needs. I was caring and always there to help, but I had too many lopsided conversations. I was so in need of love and validation and hurting. I always felt like I had to stay so small and go along with very controlling narcissists, but I may have done the same unintentionally to a much lesser degree.
thanks melanie....im in a bad relationship and trying to get out...nearly there....would have left a long time ago but we have a child that i care for and do all for........im feeling your words ...so true....and yes its bloody hard 7years now and ive got to get out
Hi Jeff,
You are very welcome. I'm so glad to help. Here are some resources to help you with this issue: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact/
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact-part-2/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/parallel-parenting-the-evolutionary-way-to-co-parent-with-a-narcissist/
How To Co-Parent With A Narcissist - The Foundation - ua-cam.com/video/kZqX1-TTD0Q/v-deo.html
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/idolise-devalue-discard-the-3-phases-of-narcissistic-abuse-part-1/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/a-deeper-look-at-idolise-devalue-discard-the-3-phases-of-narcissistic-abuse-part-2/
Shifts Happen: Healing The Traumas Closest To Our Hearts - Our Children - ua-cam.com/video/9FWHrox6a24/v-deo.html
Shifts Happen: Healing The Traumas Closest To Our Hearts - Our Children #2 - ua-cam.com/video/vrfzdarWRTE/v-deo.html These will help you to understand what is happening and what to do about it. Hang in there Jeff. The answers are coming. Love and blessings xoxox
thankyou melanie ...im doing my best ...your reply is both helpful and appreciated.....peace to you xox
Melanie I love your words Care and connection that Empaths seek. The other CC I have and am still rolling in 😆 (Dirty work) albeit from a non reaction, observant position now is cohesive control.
Thank the light & Lord and Earth/spiritual Angels that I have had your care and connection to remain sain over past few years. Beautiful, aligned kind good people coming in daily, like magic. Have a beautiful, peaceful, productive day. 😇
I'm so glad this helps.Lea Lea. I hope you have a wonderful day as well. Love and blessings xoxox
Gray rock is the hardest thing to do!
My marriage exactly..thank u
I'm so glad this helps sweetheart. Much love xoxox
growing up with no refuge from the abuse of the family and school system...prepared for the abusive work place full of these horrible people...what a world....it's all about to change
Wishing you well,I felt your pain in your comment of a month ago. Wishing you the best.
Spot on! Thankyou Melanie. ❤️
You are very welcome Julia. So glad it helps. ❤️
Omg your so right, this is 100% correct
Wow That was hard to hear ,but I know I needed to know it. I was feeling that deeply already too. I was in poor health when I met him almost 16 years ago and I feel even worse now. Doctors are worried for me but they don’t know.... I have no money, no family, not many friends (that I have told) I feel so lost and trapped, like an animal hanging by a noose on the verge of tightening. We raised his granddaughter together if you can say that. Any feed back would be appreciate. Thanks.
Hi Pat, aww sweetheart I would love you to join me in the free webinar so you can experience a Quanta Freedom Healing
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to feel the relief. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Oh my goodness! This is so darn good and true! Thank you!
Why, So doing life as a fake, trying to rebuild, trying to love myself, accepting real connections and go on as hurt depression...there is just to much.....isolated with misfitted existence....why even when they don't care, I disgustingly yearning for more....Damaged beyond repair....
Narcissists are a BOTTOMLESS PIT, and NOTHING IS EVER ENOUGH. I have tried for 40 years and hooked and financially enslaved and am only now breaking free. DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID - Save Yourselves!
I am sensitive and empathetic. I can't watch the news because I'll dwell on the hurt people felt in the stories. But when i fight with my boyfriend I get very verbally abusive. He makes little comments here and there that make me feel ugly, unappreciated, like I'm crazy and eventually I blow up and call him names and feel like I'm making him realize he's no better than me. But i hate that i do that and i get SO angry. Am i a narcissist for doing this or I am reacting to being hurt and feeling like he's not considerate or caring. I don't want to be a narcissist but i feel like how i blow up makes me one. I feel bad afterward but in the moment all i want to do is hurt him like he hurt me and don't feel bad at all...
Hi Angel L, you are not a narcissist sweetheart a narcissist wouldn't care about hurting you and you do care. These blogs will help you with this blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-break-the-narcissists-conditioning/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-break-the-narcissists-conditioning-part-2/ and I would love you to join me in the free healing workshop so you can feel the relief from all of this www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
I have been experiencing something similar and I was also going to ask the same question. I really doubted myself. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Omg, Ive been doing the Same Thing!! I got so loud during the past couple of Fights, even when he was calm in the beginning. I look at him and see all of the pain and hurt he's caused me and start calling him names. I dont recognize myself.
You are not a narcissist. Narcs are defined by a LACK of EMPATHY. It sounds like you have a high level of empathy.
That doesn't mean you are incapable of being verbally abusive or carrying rage. I encourage you to explore what's behind your anger.
Angel L it sounds like you are in a great deal of pain.
So on point thank u so much!
It's my pleasure Toni and thank you xoxo
Somehow this just hit me naturally then. I came across your video n now I don’t feel crazy... my life story😂