Don't beat yourself up about posting your siblings in the past. We ALL really didn't know how dangerous the internet was back then. You didn't know better.
I remember BirdyBoots and Boxes of Foxes; they were fun channels while they lasted. It's great hearing you talk about regrets because it shows your growth and how far you've come. I've been here for years and it has been a pleasure and honour watching you evolve and still make excellent content.
I'm way older than you Emma, old enough to be your dad in fact, but I've made every single one of those mistakes in my own way in my own time and lived to learn from them. It's called growing up, and give yourself a pat on the back for even doing it, because an awful lot of people these days seem to put all their energy into not growing up as if their lives depended on it. I found you entirely by accident when I was very new to the internet in about 2013/2014 and didn't even know there was such a thing as a professional "UA-camr", in fact it might (I can't remember exactly now) have been you who introduced me to that strange concept. IIRC I'd gone down a rabbit hole of international box swap videos via Nincompoop (remember her?) and somehow stumbled across your channel. You were funny and sharp so I subbed: you might have been the first or second channel I ever subbed to. I recall that you pissed me off a couple of times, so I gradually lost interest, but never enough to unsub. Congrats on growing up (eventually 😉) and congrats on your forthcoming marriage: hope you're very happy together. ❤
I started watching your videos when I was about 14 (you know the drill, depressed socially anxious angsty teen finds solace in UA-cam, tale as old as time) and now I'm 25 with a flat and a job and a whole-ass life! It's genuinely lovely to see how both you and the little community have grown over the past decade. I remember in probably 2018/19 being disillusioned with YT, feeling I'd outgrown it, etc, and finding myself on one of those gossip forums - I scrolled through about 2 pages of your thread and just thought "oh these people are NASTY nasty" lmao. It woke me up to the absolutely ridiculous toxicity and I think that was my "it really isn't that deep" moment! But genuinely it's fantastic to see you happy and doing well. Also I would die for little clay figure guy.
I’ve stuck around for almost 10 years, and the reason why I’ve stayed for so long, is because I’ve been able to see you grow and evolve into the person you are today, someone who wants to use her platform to help others, whether that’s through your music, or amplifying voices of those who would get lost.
My friend sent me your song the promise when I was suicidal. I listened to that song and I believe at the time it was your only song so when I went to look you up on UA-cam I found all of your comedy. I grew with the valentines baking and sims videos, your school videos and through one relationship that shaped me. I’m 22 now as you’re sitting here telling me you were in your 20’s is shaping me all over again. I’m proud of your growth. I love you Emma
a large portion of my teen years were spent enjoying your content, and occasionally one of your songs will pop up on my spotify shuffle. it brings in lots of memories seeing or hearing your name, and it genuinely was a good time being a part of the community you cultivated. it's great to see you talk about how far you've come, despite all of the things you've talked about here. it's definitely been a journey!
@@fairytaleviola The image faded into the background of the thumbnail on the left was "banned" by Emma because it got memed so much back in the day. Reddit accepted the challenge
This video should be titled "Emma Has Grown Up" and its a great thing to see. Experience leads to growth, recognising your were an ass in the past is a big deal with maturity. My "grow the f*** up" moment was when I antagonising someone IRL like I would online and getting punched in the face so hard I got knocked out. I learnt then that the whole "a**hole persona" was just childish and pathetic and it was time to change. The guy that punched me is now one of my closest friends and he taught me an important life lesson. I really like videos like this, that show that making mistakes is a part of maturity and not something to be ashamed of. We all get in our own heads and believe were invincible, we all make mistakes, the key is to LEARN from them. I'm not the same guy I was 10 years ago and THAT IS A GOOD THING! If you still are the same as you where 10 years ago then its time for something to change. That is the whole point of your 20-30 years! I feel the biggest problem with the modern world/socialmedia/internet is it allows people to get stuck in certain stages instead of growing out of them.
Brilliant points regarding the private information part. I think we also need to bear in mind that YT was still a newish pathway, so you maybe weren't to know (or understand as a young 20 something) what the risks with posting your siblings or around your local area. I have no sympathy now for family channels, especially the big UK one, now the risks are known 😅 Great video Emma 💕 x
This is such a nice video. I think it's really important to highlight you were making content at the start of what being a content creator was. There wasn't rules. No established social norms. People honestly were dealing with the concept of accessible hate as well (taking everything personally point). We are having reports come out today about how damaging it can be and people like yourself had to deal with it first hand without any of us really knowing the concequences of it. I love these kinds of videos so thank you for sharing and taking a look into your past!
this feels so much like your big sister/cousin sitting you down and talking to you about all the things they’ve learned and done wrong after you make a mistake yourself, it’s so sweet. i’m so glad you’ve grown and learned to be better and love yourself more, you deserve this happiness and peace you’ve seemed to get more recently!
When I was 13 I remember coming back from school and frantically refreshing my subscriptions page for the newest Emma Blackery video. You were absolutely my favourite UA-camr growing up, I feel like I have learnt about life with you! Nowadays I don't really tend to even touch my subscription page, but you bet I will always be here for your newest videos. I LOVED all of your side channels, they felt like fun little adventures and when they ended, I was excited to see what was next! This was such a lovely video to reflect on that time. Thank you, Emma
You know Emma, I watched you loads back in maybe 2015 or 2016 which I was a funky little 13/14 year old finding things miserable. I watched you for a long long while, always stayed on top of the Vloggery videos, and loved your music. Then I saw you grow and work on yourself, and I stepped away from your content because I didn't like change. Eventually I took the time to work on myself. Havent seen your vids in a while but heard bits and pieces about your life here and there. And today this video popped up and I was so curious to see how you were doing after all these years, and you're really doing fantastic and I applaud you for that! I'm almost 22 now and about to finish my time at university, much happier with myself than I was back then, and its nice seeing the paths cross again in this positive light :)
You were someone i looked up to when i was a teen, i still remember the day you followed me on tumblr and i was so happy. I continued to follow you for a long time and i still come check up sometimes. I grew up but you still remain a warm memory. Im glad you were one of the people i spend my teens obsessing over, couldve picked alot worse.
I have watched you for years, I will continue to watch you, support you and listen to your music for years to come, I first saw you play in Glasgow in 2015/16, I met you in 2018 and I can’t wait to see you again in October. I will forever be a fan and a supporter and I am forever proud of you, your growth and your whole ‘package’ so to speak! It’s refreshing to see a ‘UA-camr’ being so honest and straight forward about your journey 🩷
Loved birdyboots back in the day, it was fun. Been on the interwebs since 28.8 dial up modems and understood it too well when I took the stab at trying to make a gaming channel (4 years less than 1k subs, put private on all but one video) I made it a point to never have my kids on my face cam. Really can't stand the family channels for this reason. Number 5 is something that I am trying to teach my 14 year old, that's a really hard lesson to learn. Stating all of that just showed how old I am didn't it.
your birdyboots channel lowkey raised me hahaha!! was so happy you mentioned it because when you played the escapists, argued with robots and made roger and rogette in the sims one little me spent so long watching them and my humor today is moulded by them! love seeing you still recognising them and i love ur music too! ur gaming got me though childhood and ur music through high school
Not really on topic, but I just want to let you know: I found you in my recommended feed back in 2012 - I was in my early-mid 20's, and I was stuck at a dead-end job with an incredibly toxic work environment. But I do remember watching your videos and getting exited every time I saw your latest posts. I especially remember listening to your Feel good 101's on repeat whenever life felt hard (which was several times a week) and let's just say life took a turn. It's still been hard and I've had ups and downs, but I left my former workplace and perused a completely different carrier. Now, 10 years later, I've really started to progress. I just got my bachelors degree back in Januari and I'm advancing in my field big time (!), and literally everything is just pointing upwards. I think everything can be traced back to one quote from you that I got stuck in my head: "The world is your bitch - Make it bend, and do what you want it to do", let's just say I took that to heart. Thank you Emma for uploading what you did, when you did - Because it brought mental support and laughter during the most difficult era of my life.
I wanted to thank you for apologising for times you didn't treat your fans the best. I met you at comic con London in 2014 or 2015 and when I met you amd got a photo w you, I left feeling quite upset, you didn't say anything to me and when I tried to start talk to you I didn't rlly get responses just some 'uhuhs', and even when I brought my girl balls wristband (which I still have to this day) you didn't even crack a smile. I figured you'd probs had to deal w too many annoying fan girls that day so I tried not to take it to heart and I'm still a fan to this day but as my extra anxious teenage self it did bother me so it really means alot to hear an apology. I really think this video is very refreshing, it's so nice to see personal growth from you, I'm really happy you seem to be doing so well ❤ much love xx
I didn't watch you too often but I did enjoy your content now and again when I was younger, stuff like collabs with other people and the occasional vlog. It's been absolutely ages since I've seen any of your videos and honestly it's awesome to see you've grown and matured as a person. I remember listenting to the promise a ton specifically, good stuff. I still do jokingly call you budget paramore, not out of spite or any genuine mockery, it was just a name that stuck in my head. Obviously you have your own original work and are you. unique. and that's what makes you great and why many people enjoy your creations. That lil fella at the end of the video is great too, love the little guy.
The growth you are showing is phenomenal. Long time subscriber, but I haven't watched in years. However, I'll have you know that Pancakes for Single People or your Gryffindor/Slytherin Rant stick in my ADHD addled brain to this day. I'm happy to see such growth and I still listen to a lot of your old music like the Promise since it's still in old playlists. I will continue to follow your adventures as time goes on.
Back when you got into twitter spats i was never really on twitter but i was a huge fan of your channel. Somewhat often youd refer to it on this channel being a whole big thing never going into it though but always regretting it afterwards. it made me sooo frustrated as hell i never got the tea like ever. 😅😭 Even back then you knew not to bring it to the main audience and make everything worse having it spiral into super intense viral drama. you're a good egg emma, your heart is in the right place even if you were misguided. And now i see much improvement and greatness in you. so talented and amazing. please never give up on your dreams. im gonna be a fan of yours for life ❤
Emma, I love what your content has evolved into. I was introduced to your channel, and by extension your music, by a friend I had as a kid who I lost to childhood heart disease in 2017. It brings me a sense of comfort I can't explain to see how you've been using your platform these last few years. It really is refreshing, you're a lot more honest than other content creators are these days and it's done you well. Thank you for everything you do on here. I believe it was one of your channels that actually introduced me to Life is Strange, which has been one of my favorite games since then. I just appreciate your work so much & I really am glad to see you haven't given up on it :)
I remember being a huge fan! Been to your shows before. I remember interacting with you on twitter where I asked a question about a vlog upload and I received a snappy reply. You said something like “I’m not doing them again! And you can take that to the bank!” Just want you to know that I forgive you, it’s water under the bridge. Don’t beat yourself up over stuff that’s happened beforehand as in most likelihood people either have forgotten or it doesn’t bother them anymore. If they don’t worry about it, you shouldn’t either. Be kind to yourself x
I'm not sure that phrase has aged all that well! I stopped using it as soon as I felt it could be seen as inappropriate or offensive, many years ago. Not a lot of people knew it was a line from Scrubs which was my fave show at the time.
@@emmablackery Yeah, for a while that was probably my favorite phrase that I learned from UA-cam. It may or may not have bled over into some of the youth I worked with.
i remember when i started watching you at 12 and im 21 now and still loving watching you and listening to your music. they helped me through my younger years, i don't mean to sound like im putting you on a pedestal but you did help me through the years especially in secondary school where it was non stop hell, when i got back home it felt amazing to watch your videos and have a laugh after a awful day. i will say i did see some of the "mistakes" you made through the years and seeing you now being able to reflect is a beautiful thing, it's a very difficult thing to admit the past flaws, i know i have had to do that when reflecting on the person i was a few years ago
Seeing how much you've changed is amazing, I subbed to back when you featured on Dan's (nerd3) channel for the first time and suck around for nearly every single Birdyboots video before both you and Dan vanished from my yt feeds. Im glad yt let me see how far you've come since then, and I'm glad you're doing better.
‘They were excited to be in the videos but didn’t the risks of understand that’. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. It needs to be said over and over and louder. 👏👏👏 I’m asked so often why I don’t have younger family members in my videos, my goodness, no way. The things that have happened to me I’d never wish them on anybody let alone kids. Mind blowing. It’s so scary. 🤯 Thanks for this video, really enjoyed it. I’ve been here a decade or so. 😅❤️
It's nice to see transparency and honesty still exists on this platform. It's super interesting to live in an age where you can grow up alongside and interact with so many other people, all figuring it out in their own ways. I'm proud to see you become more comfortable and confident over the years. It's good to see you're still doing well! While I do miss some of your old hidden videos, it's obviously worth it to unlist/private them if it concerns your privacy. Hopefully those decisions have not caused you too much strife. 2012 viewer here (I'm 25 now) and I have some of these content-related regrets myself. I'm also still learning some of these lessons - namely the ego thing and trying to control people's opinion/the flow of information about me - I can get too invested in that shit and it's unhealthy and unproductive, so I hope for this same growth in future. It's good to be honest about a problem when you notice it.
I've followed and watched you since I first met my ex girlfriend in 2015 and since then I know you've had your high points, low points all while I progressed and went on a journey of creation as a voice actor and streamer. Streamer hasn't cracked off, but I've done well as a VA so far. Went to England in 2019, went to Cali in 2017, been around the U.S. here and there, just waiting to find my true place in the world so I can elevate my status to a level even remotely on par with how you were/are. But the one thing I need to mention thus far is how you've showcased your life here from when you started growing until now, honestly, without bullshit, without muddling words and fucking your fans or friends over. You've been one of the very few genuine people on the internet as far as a musician and human goes. Other people have paved their way in falsehood and blood, but you've shown us your strengths, weaknesses and everything in between. So that said please don't ever beat yourself up or hold regrets in your heart Emma. You're a good person and in the end you've shown how to grow.
Throughout all the UA-cam years I've known you, your ability to share your introspective thoughts has always touched me deeply. Your authenticity and emotional intelligence shine through every time, and your genuine truth is a constant source of reality for the human online experience. You've never missed a beat in expressing your deep awareness, and it means the world!!! Life is messy and raw, and you own it perfectly. You’re Emma fkn Blackery!!! Legend 🤘🏽
That's a really interesting ethical point about sharing kids online. I know you probably didn't realise at the time though and I feel like we know more about this stuff nowadays than we did then but I get why you feel bad for sure as something could've happened. There's this family vlogging channel I used to watch when I was younger that's been in the news for the mum basically being in some cult and abusing her kids physically and mentally and it's so awful and it's made me really think about kids being online and the dangers of it. The dangers of family vlogging specifically as well, parents using their children as essentially employees from straight out the womb in some cases, it's very disturbing really and it's a weird realisation to have cos I grew up watching family vlogs of people going on trips to disneyland and such. Some may be innocent or careful I don't know and I'm not a parent but it seems really weird to have that employee/employer relationship with a parent and a child or teenager, especially it being something so public. I meant this vlog mum I'm talking about made millions off her kids and then abused them, she even wrote a diary about it, it's so disturbing honestly and it's not even the first case, the daddyofive man is another one I can think of off the top of my head. Anyway sorry bit of a ramble but this has been on my mind a lot recently!
Emma, I am one of those who've been with you for 10 years! I know this is weird as hell because you don't know me at all; But being 30 now we went through so much of the same shit together. Rough relationships, mental health issues, starting out in alt music as a woman, horrific food service jobs and even CFS. I spent years pushing for a diagnosis after I saw your video. It feels good to kinda "compare" myself with you and see we're both in an amazing place with all of these things now :)
Emma's been a part of my digital life for over a decade now and I've seen it all. LOVED it all. All the channels, all the different looks, the honest and direct nature of Ms Blackery. Her dad! who is AMAZING. We all have regrets, but following you is 100% never one of them.
Just to add, the little thing you created at the end and you saying "It's not perfect, but maybe that doesn't matter" was very touching. I love it (the little cyclops you made) and the sentiment. Wise words, but words that have been fought hard for over the years and come from a deep experience. Takes a strong person to apologise for their past self and though I don't think we ever fell out? I'm sure (and hope) those with whom you did, see this video and accept it. Have a good week, Em (sorry for the second reply, just wanted to add this).
I used to watch your channel in the ‘hayday’ of it all when I was an early-mid teenager. I’ve just rediscovered your channel recently as now a mid-twenties adult and it’s incredible the development of your maturity and accountability, props to you for this video!❤
I watched you from 2013 - 2016 and i also lived in Basildon. I remember seeing you around in town and i always went up to say hi (apart from when you were with your siblings) and ask for a photo and you were always so nice to me. At the time i didnt think ahout how at best, annoying, at worst, scary that mustve been to see fans in your home town while you were just in the town centre. Thank you for being so nice and sweet!
It's a huge positive to have such grounded self insight and personal character growth and be able to be so open about it. Really good sign that someone is a good person. And I'm glad you don't hyper-judge yourself so hard anymore. And welcome to the ADHD team btw. :D
I don’t know if I will, I put my gaming PC away for a bit! I go through phases with The Sims where I play obsessively for weeks and then don’t touch it for months.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us, it feels like something i need to hear from an older and wiser sister and yes i pretty much grew up with you and experienced nothing but respect and love from you so go easy on yourself!! without making or acknowledging the acts that we did were mistakes we would have continued doing them so what matters now emma is the present you're living to build your future, i love you ❤
i feel like a lot of these things everybody can benefit from hearing, especially the safety issue, it isn’t even just content creators who should be careful about posting their locatjon, or their house. i don’t consider myself popular but even i don’t post my house anywhere but a private snapchat story. not even on my yearly facebook albums. it’s been a pleasure to watch you grow by the way! i started watching you when you did your first feel good 101 video and stuck around since (remember your fight with that band manager blair on twitter?) and i feel like you know of me but id still not feel right like speaking to you outside of a m&g or event unless you were absolutely ok with it so for people to give you safety concerns is insane on their part. although speaking of snapping online i remember you took an emoji i used the wrong way and snapped at me hahaha but we quickly resolved that! so proud of you and who you’ve became in the last 11 years! 💕
I found you before I was even in my teens, now I’m 22 and I adore each time I see you post on UA-cam coz it’s like seeing an old friend again for the first time in months, I hope you’ve been alright and I hope you’ve been staying safe
I love this sort of video. The "character growth" is incredible, and I think it's only natural as we get older to reflect on what we have done, and it takes a strong person to be able to display so publicly how they have changed and grown 🥰 x
I spent so much of my childhood going through your videos, they helped me get through school and become a better person honestly. You will always be one of those UA-camrs I'll consistently check up on. Even if I was never a huge fan of the genre of music you make, I can still respect your craft and I'm glad its given you so many opportunities to continue to tour and truly live your dream!
I made a pop-art fanart of you on Twitter back in 2017/2018, and when I saw you had liked it it made little high school sophomore me so happy :) Thank you for all the laughs and joy you’ve spread from your time on youtube to your music, and good luck with all future endeavors both creative and personal! Sending good vibes to you and your community always :)
We used to watch a lot of your second channel stuff and gaming stuff I knew that you were known for drama but that never really bothered me I just enjoyed the content where you were yourself. It's okay to grow and I think you should be incredibly proud not only that you have grown but that you recognise that mistakes were made and that you want to move forward from them or have moved significantly forward from them. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm only just realising that I am myself wasn't the best person in my 20s breaking habits and stuff is really hard especially when you grow up with the basic integration of social media we were essentially the first generation to be teenagers with the Internet and it was basically a freefall and a lot of it still is so I wouldn't blame yourself too harshly
I met you at the SitC warmup in Edinburgh and when I told you how much you meant to me, you cried and thanked me for telling you. I’m older now and have less parasocial support systems but I can’t tell you how much that interaction meant to 12 year old me and how much it still warms my heart to think about ❤
BirdyBoots was my ultimate comfort content during depressive epsiodes; especially the life is strange playthroughs! So happy they've been reuploaded! Lots of love and virtual hugs from Germany❤
Hi Emma, I started watching your channel back in the day, and I think this video was really mature and refreshing. I’m happy to see where you are now, and congratulations on getting a diagnosis. I, too, am neurodivergent and it’s cool to know that in high school I was able to watch the content of a fellow neurodivergent who made me feel less lonely. Thank you for bringing back some good UA-cam memories!
Birdyboots was the first thing that came to mind for me when you started to list off all the dead channels over the years and I was about to be upset you didn't even remember it lmao. We're within like 1-2 years of each other in age and it's just nice to see you less stressed and happier. I've been on my own mental health journey the past couple years. Always nice to see other people you liked doing well for themselves. It's motivating. I really enjoyed the comedy skits over the years and the vlogs, thanks for the laughs Emma.
Love the video Emma!!just wanted to tell you I started watching you when I was 13 and you were my first ever concert, it holds so many memories for me and was the reason I got into music and playing guitar, as well as being so inspiring to me. now watching you and I’m 21 and music is my full time job and I have to thank you!! Made my teenage years less rough as I’m sure lots of people can relate, so much love for you❤ Also if you remember getting a book full of puns about your last name that was me 😂
Wow! I absolutely loved this video! I learned so much about the internet that I knew ethereally by simply having a pulse when the internet exploded, but you brought home both the best of the internet (views, adulation, sponsorships, etc.), but at the same you crystal clearly revealed how this new wonder-world of the mystical, magical internet brought direct tangible danger to you and those you love. I'm so sorry all of those insidious experiences happened to you and those you loved and I'm so glad you and all those you love escaped without any irreparable damage. And I'm so glad you're now in a genuinely good place and about to marry the person you love... and the person who equally loves you. I wish you both the best! And I hope, as long as it's safe and positive for you, that you can continue to make more beautifully honest videos like this video to edify the rest of us on all the positives and negatives of participating on the internet will bring all of us... as clearly the internet itself is in such an incredibly nascent stage of development. And so your now sage words of wisdom, gleaned from being courageous and tough enough to try and touch the untouchable sun, will absolutely benefit all of your peers and definitely benefit all future content producers, so that they they can hopefully create positive content for the rest of us in a way that is beneficial to their souls, and hopefully their pocket books, but most importantly is done in a way where they themselves and those they love are safe! Like I hope you and those you love are now safe!
Where you are right now. You've come so far and some of your growth has helped myself too. Been in the last few years coming to this path of stepping back from things and not taking it all as personally, enjoying the positive over the negativity and focusing energy where it's wanted and given back. Maybe that's just entering your thirties?
I’m 26 now and I grew up with your videos. I’ve had some similar regrets to you, especially regarding how personally I can take things sometimes. I feel like there’s so much wisdom that can be gained from a video like this from you, especially for younger people. Also, love the figure, so cute
So I started watching you in 2012 when I was 18 and now, watching you as an adult, this take is so refreshing. You’ve shown so much growth as a person and it’s wonderful to observe ❤
I still love your videos, they cheered me up as a depressed teenager and youve made more mature content as I've grown older so it's like you've been a virtual big sister/aunty (although you obviously didn't know i didn't exist). You made mistakes sure but that's human, just if you do it online it's way harder than for people who's lives aren't exposed online
I feel very lucky I was a demma fan back in the day however really got into Emma's videos just before the release of her villains album.. And I remember the hard times you were having and yes I know you were oversharing but it resinated with me as I'd just lost my dad at the time(nothing like someone else's pain to help you through) and was lucky enough to meet you and davey at the tour and you both were super friendly I've also been a patreon supporter in the past and had the chance to play among us with you and I owe you for introducing me to Taylor swift Thanks for being part of our lives and we wish you all the happiness in the world Have fun being a brummie bride ❤❤❤❤
I have enjoyed watching you and your many channel iterations over the years. I appreciate how much you’ve grown over time, it’s definitely harder to make these growth journeys when you have so many people watching you like you do. Also, your hair looks incredible, glad you’re still having fun with it and having fun with life!
AS SOMEONE WHO ALSO GOT AN ADULT ADHD DIAGNOSIS IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AS TO WHY I LOVED YOU SO MUCH I love how we all seek out representation unknowingly ❤️
I started watching you in 2013 when I was 13 and I’ve just turned 24. I was a depressed kid listening to The Promise and waking up at 4am (I’m from Australia) to watch YouNow lives. I still think I have one of your old merch shirts from 2013/14 that I grew out of! Thank you for growing up with me ❤
I honestly don't remember when i started following you. Probably during the comedy skit era and Google+ song. I've stuck around ever since, and I'm still here
I really needed to hear that last regret because I'm living it everyday. I'm going through a time where I'm discovering there's a chance I might be on the spectrum and it's been jarring to say the least. I've always had issues understanding people and where they come from which has led me to being really obsessed with how people view me. I've been such a people pleaser all my life that there were moments in the past I essentially dehumanized myself. Not knowing if someone likes me or not and if they don't why. Even if someone shows they truly care for me, all it takes is 1 instance of them not giving me some form of attention to throw myself in a spiral of "What did I do wrong?". A lot of it also comes from self-hate and I just laugh at myself sometimes because I'm really just depending on the thoughts of others who either A) Love me for me or B) Don't even think about me half the amount I think they do.
Well done for reflecting, admitting and growing on your life lessons - that takes a lot - even moreso to post it online and be so open! Proud of you ❤ Your growth over the last few years especially has been amazing, and it's lovely to see your happier, more content and more relaxed in life as you deserve to be. I remember SitC 2014 I met you and you were lovely - though I might have been a bit over excited/overbearing so I apologise if I was (I'm sure I cringed at my own behaviour when I watched my vlog back 😬) Hindsight and Autism Diagnosis is a wonderful thing and explains a lot 🤣
You have matured so well. I thoroughly enjoyed this video, Emma. I'm a few years older than you, but I'll keep watching your content. I've watched you for several years and you're really maturing well!
I love to see this from you Emma, watched your videos when I was very young, and It's amazing to see your maturity now compared to the past and seeing you be able to admit serious mistakes you made in the past and taking them as seriously as you can, awesome stuff!
I'm one of those that have been watching over the last ten years. its been wonderful watching you grow and mature and doing the same along side you. I hope everything in the future goes well (:. also you should do a proper look back on your music if you haven't already and I just don't remember, id love to hear your thoughts on some of your older stuff that aren't the singles of eps and such.
I'm a ride or die. I think because I understood on some level. But Dan came after me at a misunderstanding on Twitter and he sicced his followers on me and I and never been so depressed. I appreciate you for working on yourself ❤
I'm sorry that happened, but if its any help Dan doesn't use twitter anymore he ages ago couldn't bare it and did a purge of everything, that was his last moments using it, nowadays he has a account but its not used how it was back then + not managed by him but by Matt (a close friend and manager of nerdcubed stuff) we all can be lead into the hate train that is twitter without stepping back for a moment and really thinking about it if you went up to dan today and said this is what happened I'm absolutly sure he would apologize and say a similar thing to what I'm saying here cause thats not who dan is anymore
damn i started watching u when i was like 12 or 13, and i just turned 20 literally a month ago. I feel so old now 😭I remember seeing you perform in Manchester in late 2018 and i loved it can't believe how long its been since then tbh. Hope everyone who sees this is doing well :)
Honestly Emma I’ve been watching you for ten years, and I’ve always enjoyed your content. We all do stuff that still makes us die inside when we remember it, lol I have way too many examples! I wanted to say I was in a dark place last year and I cried my eyes out your song The Promise more times that I can count. It really saved me. I hope you stay around for years to come 😊
the fact that as a 16 year old i subscribed to every one of those channels. just hearing their names brings back soooo much nostolgia or your old opening "i like her she has girl balls"
The multiple channels thing is weird bc I remember it was SO common back in the day, iJustine had a bunch and had a twitter account that would share when any of her channels posted, and then with The Algorithm™ that whole scene of multiple channels kinda died out with people wanting all their content easy to find in one place, and then recently people are bringing it back with pairings like gaming channel + VOD channel + vlog/irl channels and such. It's coming full circle in a way.
Gonna have a reaction comment chain here lol, I've been watching/following you for 10 years now and it's wild to look back at this stuff. At least Vloggery didn't get deleted into the void, that one got merged into this one when you switched to the artist account thing.
I used to watch you all the time, I think from my own point of view is that you changed from someone I liked watching to someone I didn’t; quite simple I know but it felt like you changed from funny skits and commentaries to music videos and it wasn’t really what I personally wanted to see to be honest. It’s your channel and you’ve got to grow with the times; I guess you just grew into someone I didn’t want to watch anymore. Still much love and good luck.
@@emmablackery I can’t imagine how difficult it is to keep coming up with ideas that your audience would love; I would have tired a long time before you did; I guess I just kind of outgrew watching UA-cam more so than just your content. It’s nice to see you’re doing well now though, honest content always appeals more to me;has more of a refreshingly positive outlook then the negative stuff you see on here; prank videos and reaction videos.
Getting cyberbullied is so hard. When it was happening to me (I'm not a public figure, just someone that was in a DIY band), I didn't delete things for a while because I didn't want to "give in." But i gave myself so much stress I didn't need to have, because when I did eventually delete things like 8 months later, it really helped my mental health. I understand that it's a little different for you, because you were so active online. But i think there are pros and cons to both ways of handling it, and sadly no really good solution. I'm glad you know now what you would rather to do tho if something tough like that ever happens again (which I hope it doesnt!!)
Emma, I understand the different channel and ADHD thing. I have mild ADHD or as my boss likes to call it "Oh, oh he's distracted by bright shiny things" Even though there has been a lot of drama you have experienced life and it has brought you to where you are today and I hope you have happiness and peace.
I am number 2: I mostly remember your collabs with Barry Lewis and Stuart Ashen, but of course the [REDACTED] Vlog-Log as well. Aside from that, most regrets you listed seem to me (as person with a third person view) almost "normal" for people that published on UA-cam for a long time. Most importantly you see your mistakes and learn from them.
I spent 30+ years having undiagnosed ADHD, I firmly get the regretting attitudes etc. Don't be so hard on yourself. I overshared, over flirted, was over sensitive etc. But we are all dealing with learning how to human in our 20s, we dont see it until we are nearly 40 and that's crazy to me. That I'm only just learning who I am at 40. We just calm down then and readdress our priorities, we all do it, and in our 20s we all thought we never would. My hopes for new generations, for women especially, is we are all much quicker to suss out what is toxic and move far away from it so we can spend more time being happy and authentic and less time feeling lost and ostracised. Heres to late diagnosis club and lets hope we get fewer and fewer members as time goes on ❤ (Sidenote I too got into fimo as a hobby and it now sits in a cupboard in a box hehehe. I will get it out this week in honour of you).
I was a fan of Vloggery and BirdyBoots, they respectively allowed you to show a more serious and more fun side to yourself. I remember you talking about those two fans who dropped a letter through your (new at the time) apartment door. They said they'd found you and asked to visit, which really freaked you out. Filming on the roof was a bad move, it made it easy to identify that building, which I recognised having only been there once (before you moved in). This may be another regret, I don't know but the only thing you've ever done that disappointed me was when you called out actress Abigail Breslin for releasing a song that crapped all over her ex, seemingly because you were a fan of his. She received a lot of unwarranted threats for that (not your fault) but you did jump on to the bandwagon, even if it was at the back. However, the disappointing part was when (later on I think) you did exactly the same by releasing your own song. I'm not calling you out for it, I suspect you may regret it now and I got over it quickly but it was a sour point for a bit. You're much improved these days. 🙂
I actually made a video about the Abigail Breslin situation a while back! I spoke about how much I regretted it, and Abigail saw the video. We spoke for a while, I apologised personally, and we get on well :)
@@emmablackery Ah yes, I remember that video now, my memory is a bit foggy these days. It's great that you sorted it all out and I appreciate the reply.
Emma you were not as awful as you think your only problem was you got cross quick and ranting online especially in messages. The back and forth was a lot but you were certainly NOT the only one and you gained a new perspective and grew as a person more than I’ve seen most do and you’ve been on this journey for years now. Loving the nostalgia, this is your time now no pressures just existing in confidence and self love! We see you 🌻🌹
I’m riding a high after just getting an interview in canvey but I wanna say you are 100% the best thing to come out of Basildon and it’s so amazing to know that one of the UA-cam goats came from the same hometown as me thank you for everything
So mature 🎉 it's all good, though. We are all learning what we can from our encounters with people. And it's so much harder on the internet. You're brave for admitting your faults. I'm so happy for you. I wish you all the love and success that you deserve ❤️ 🌸
Dan (nerdcubed) one time had someone find his house because they figured out which apartment he was in based on the view from the balcony, and they figured out which unit was his because they saw the welcome mat in a video. Unless you *absolutely undoubtedly know* what to look for, it *does not matter* what you think is safe to post in and around your house. I have seen so many UA-camrs post information that could easily lead to their house.
While I've been watching for a very long time, one video that has stood out to me is your Living Below The Line challenge; your tip about rinsing out sauce jars so none of it goes to waste plays in my head every time! I read the Steve Jobs biography because of a book review video you made. It's interesting how we shape each other in so many ways, isn't it?
I enjoy these type of videos. What I really enjoy is seeing you looking healthy. (I may be wrong as I don’t know you personally and makeup can be deceiving.) I’m glad you can look back honestly and have learnt from your online experiences. It’s been a long learning process for us all, not just content creators but for consumers too.
We all loved birdyboots haha! If you ever wanted to get back into posting gaming stuff I know I'd love it. You seem to be much more comfortable just doing whatever content you feel like on this channel now which is great. If you enjoy what you make so will we.
You're very brave to come on here and speak about all of your mistakes. I think we forget that our favourite youtubers were also growing up as well, you didnt have all the answers or know how to act. But I'm glad to see you doing well.
My UA-cam suggested seems to be going back to the old days with your videos being on my homepage, it brings me so much nostalgia. Been here since before the upload 3 tour and I'm still here 💖
HOW COULD YOU FORGET BIRDYBOOTS?! lmao just kidding, although it was a classic. I've been along for this ride since I believe 2015/2016 and honestly? You were one of the only people that kept me on Twitter for as long as I was. I loved the community page (any of emma's blackberries sound out please, I miss you lot) and the interactions we occasionally had and when you thanked me for the article I wrote about your last tour. I'm definitely better off mentally for not having that app anymore but I really loved this video. It's so important to look back at what we've done and acknowledge where we were right, wrong and still had room to grow. Thanks for still posting things now and again, it's great to see
I met you at SITC in the 2010s…I can’t remember exactly what year. I was so anxious and you were so kind and lovely :) mistakes are just part of life! This is a lovely reflective video though!
I felt a wave of nostalgia hearing the names Birdyboots and Vloggery again. The real ones remember those Sims videos.
Arh the sims video
the sims videos are how i found emma!! 😅❤️
I remember the Sims Collector series with Willow
And Life is Strange
I’ve watched those sims videos multiple times - they’re like comfort funny videos ❤
"if they don't know you personally, don't take it personally." best advice i've ever received
Your ability to admit you’ve made mistakes and own up to them is a sign that you’ve matured and learned things about life. Congrats on your growth. ❤
Thank you so much! I'm in a healthier place now.
Don't beat yourself up about posting your siblings in the past. We ALL really didn't know how dangerous the internet was back then. You didn't know better.
I remember BirdyBoots and Boxes of Foxes; they were fun channels while they lasted. It's great hearing you talk about regrets because it shows your growth and how far you've come. I've been here for years and it has been a pleasure and honour watching you evolve and still make excellent content.
Thanks so much William!
Yes I remember those channels they were really cozy and fun to watch 😊
I'm way older than you Emma, old enough to be your dad in fact, but I've made every single one of those mistakes in my own way in my own time and lived to learn from them. It's called growing up, and give yourself a pat on the back for even doing it, because an awful lot of people these days seem to put all their energy into not growing up as if their lives depended on it.
I found you entirely by accident when I was very new to the internet in about 2013/2014 and didn't even know there was such a thing as a professional "UA-camr", in fact it might (I can't remember exactly now) have been you who introduced me to that strange concept. IIRC I'd gone down a rabbit hole of international box swap videos via Nincompoop (remember her?) and somehow stumbled across your channel. You were funny and sharp so I subbed: you might have been the first or second channel I ever subbed to. I recall that you pissed me off a couple of times, so I gradually lost interest, but never enough to unsub.
Congrats on growing up (eventually 😉) and congrats on your forthcoming marriage: hope you're very happy together. ❤
I started watching your videos when I was about 14 (you know the drill, depressed socially anxious angsty teen finds solace in UA-cam, tale as old as time) and now I'm 25 with a flat and a job and a whole-ass life! It's genuinely lovely to see how both you and the little community have grown over the past decade. I remember in probably 2018/19 being disillusioned with YT, feeling I'd outgrown it, etc, and finding myself on one of those gossip forums - I scrolled through about 2 pages of your thread and just thought "oh these people are NASTY nasty" lmao. It woke me up to the absolutely ridiculous toxicity and I think that was my "it really isn't that deep" moment! But genuinely it's fantastic to see you happy and doing well. Also I would die for little clay figure guy.
Oh my god I found that gossip page too! I wasn't actively looking for it, just found it by accident and you're right, it was some absolutely foul shit
I hear you on the first point but you going for Alex Days neck was, is and will continue to be iconic and I thank you for it
He was such a sack of cr*p. I support Emma in that too :)
I’ve stuck around for almost 10 years, and the reason why I’ve stayed for so long, is because I’ve been able to see you grow and evolve into the person you are today, someone who wants to use her platform to help others, whether that’s through your music, or amplifying voices of those who would get lost.
My friend sent me your song the promise when I was suicidal. I listened to that song and I believe at the time it was your only song so when I went to look you up on UA-cam I found all of your comedy. I grew with the valentines baking and sims videos, your school videos and through one relationship that shaped me. I’m 22 now as you’re sitting here telling me you were in your 20’s is shaping me all over again. I’m proud of your growth. I love you Emma
a large portion of my teen years were spent enjoying your content, and occasionally one of your songs will pop up on my spotify shuffle. it brings in lots of memories seeing or hearing your name, and it genuinely was a good time being a part of the community you cultivated.
it's great to see you talk about how far you've come, despite all of the things you've talked about here. it's definitely been a journey!
The banned image returns for the thumbnail
What does this mean
@@fairytaleviola The image faded into the background of the thumbnail on the left was "banned" by Emma because it got memed so much back in the day. Reddit accepted the challenge
This video should be titled "Emma Has Grown Up" and its a great thing to see. Experience leads to growth, recognising your were an ass in the past is a big deal with maturity.
My "grow the f*** up" moment was when I antagonising someone IRL like I would online and getting punched in the face so hard I got knocked out. I learnt then that the whole "a**hole persona" was just childish and pathetic and it was time to change. The guy that punched me is now one of my closest friends and he taught me an important life lesson.
I really like videos like this, that show that making mistakes is a part of maturity and not something to be ashamed of. We all get in our own heads and believe were invincible, we all make mistakes, the key is to LEARN from them. I'm not the same guy I was 10 years ago and THAT IS A GOOD THING! If you still are the same as you where 10 years ago then its time for something to change. That is the whole point of your 20-30 years!
I feel the biggest problem with the modern world/socialmedia/internet is it allows people to get stuck in certain stages instead of growing out of them.
Brilliant points regarding the private information part. I think we also need to bear in mind that YT was still a newish pathway, so you maybe weren't to know (or understand as a young 20 something) what the risks with posting your siblings or around your local area. I have no sympathy now for family channels, especially the big UK one, now the risks are known 😅
Great video Emma 💕 x
This is such a nice video. I think it's really important to highlight you were making content at the start of what being a content creator was. There wasn't rules. No established social norms. People honestly were dealing with the concept of accessible hate as well (taking everything personally point). We are having reports come out today about how damaging it can be and people like yourself had to deal with it first hand without any of us really knowing the concequences of it. I love these kinds of videos so thank you for sharing and taking a look into your past!
this feels so much like your big sister/cousin sitting you down and talking to you about all the things they’ve learned and done wrong after you make a mistake yourself, it’s so sweet. i’m so glad you’ve grown and learned to be better and love yourself more, you deserve this happiness and peace you’ve seemed to get more recently!
When I was 13 I remember coming back from school and frantically refreshing my subscriptions page for the newest Emma Blackery video. You were absolutely my favourite UA-camr growing up, I feel like I have learnt about life with you! Nowadays I don't really tend to even touch my subscription page, but you bet I will always be here for your newest videos. I LOVED all of your side channels, they felt like fun little adventures and when they ended, I was excited to see what was next!
This was such a lovely video to reflect on that time. Thank you, Emma
You know Emma, I watched you loads back in maybe 2015 or 2016 which I was a funky little 13/14 year old finding things miserable. I watched you for a long long while, always stayed on top of the Vloggery videos, and loved your music. Then I saw you grow and work on yourself, and I stepped away from your content because I didn't like change. Eventually I took the time to work on myself. Havent seen your vids in a while but heard bits and pieces about your life here and there. And today this video popped up and I was so curious to see how you were doing after all these years, and you're really doing fantastic and I applaud you for that! I'm almost 22 now and about to finish my time at university, much happier with myself than I was back then, and its nice seeing the paths cross again in this positive light :)
You were someone i looked up to when i was a teen, i still remember the day you followed me on tumblr and i was so happy. I continued to follow you for a long time and i still come check up sometimes. I grew up but you still remain a warm memory. Im glad you were one of the people i spend my teens obsessing over, couldve picked alot worse.
I have watched you for years, I will continue to watch you, support you and listen to your music for years to come, I first saw you play in Glasgow in 2015/16, I met you in 2018 and I can’t wait to see you again in October. I will forever be a fan and a supporter and I am forever proud of you, your growth and your whole ‘package’ so to speak! It’s refreshing to see a ‘UA-camr’ being so honest and straight forward about your journey 🩷
Loved birdyboots back in the day, it was fun.
Been on the interwebs since 28.8 dial up modems and understood it too well when I took the stab at trying to make a gaming channel (4 years less than 1k subs, put private on all but one video) I made it a point to never have my kids on my face cam. Really can't stand the family channels for this reason.
Number 5 is something that I am trying to teach my 14 year old, that's a really hard lesson to learn.
Stating all of that just showed how old I am didn't it.
your birdyboots channel lowkey raised me hahaha!! was so happy you mentioned it because when you played the escapists, argued with robots and made roger and rogette in the sims one little me spent so long watching them and my humor today is moulded by them! love seeing you still recognising them and i love ur music too! ur gaming got me though childhood and ur music through high school
Not really on topic, but I just want to let you know:
I found you in my recommended feed back in 2012 - I was in my early-mid 20's, and I was stuck at a dead-end job with an incredibly toxic work environment. But I do remember watching your videos and getting exited every time I saw your latest posts. I especially remember listening to your Feel good 101's on repeat whenever life felt hard (which was several times a week) and let's just say life took a turn. It's still been hard and I've had ups and downs, but I left my former workplace and perused a completely different carrier. Now, 10 years later, I've really started to progress. I just got my bachelors degree back in Januari and I'm advancing in my field big time (!), and literally everything is just pointing upwards.
I think everything can be traced back to one quote from you that I got stuck in my head: "The world is your bitch - Make it bend, and do what you want it to do", let's just say I took that to heart.
Thank you Emma for uploading what you did, when you did - Because it brought mental support and laughter during the most difficult era of my life.
I wanted to thank you for apologising for times you didn't treat your fans the best. I met you at comic con London in 2014 or 2015 and when I met you amd got a photo w you, I left feeling quite upset, you didn't say anything to me and when I tried to start talk to you I didn't rlly get responses just some 'uhuhs', and even when I brought my girl balls wristband (which I still have to this day) you didn't even crack a smile. I figured you'd probs had to deal w too many annoying fan girls that day so I tried not to take it to heart and I'm still a fan to this day but as my extra anxious teenage self it did bother me so it really means alot to hear an apology. I really think this video is very refreshing, it's so nice to see personal growth from you, I'm really happy you seem to be doing so well ❤ much love xx
I didn't watch you too often but I did enjoy your content now and again when I was younger, stuff like collabs with other people and the occasional vlog. It's been absolutely ages since I've seen any of your videos and honestly it's awesome to see you've grown and matured as a person. I remember listenting to the promise a ton specifically, good stuff.
I still do jokingly call you budget paramore, not out of spite or any genuine mockery, it was just a name that stuck in my head. Obviously you have your own original work and are you. unique. and that's what makes you great and why many people enjoy your creations.
That lil fella at the end of the video is great too, love the little guy.
The growth you are showing is phenomenal. Long time subscriber, but I haven't watched in years.
However, I'll have you know that Pancakes for Single People or your Gryffindor/Slytherin Rant stick in my ADHD addled brain to this day.
I'm happy to see such growth and I still listen to a lot of your old music like the Promise since it's still in old playlists.
I will continue to follow your adventures as time goes on.
Back when you got into twitter spats i was never really on twitter but i was a huge fan of your channel. Somewhat often youd refer to it on this channel being a whole big thing never going into it though but always regretting it afterwards. it made me sooo frustrated as hell i never got the tea like ever. 😅😭
Even back then you knew not to bring it to the main audience and make everything worse having it spiral into super intense viral drama. you're a good egg emma, your heart is in the right place even if you were misguided. And now i see much improvement and greatness in you. so talented and amazing. please never give up on your dreams. im gonna be a fan of yours for life ❤
Emma, I love what your content has evolved into. I was introduced to your channel, and by extension your music, by a friend I had as a kid who I lost to childhood heart disease in 2017. It brings me a sense of comfort I can't explain to see how you've been using your platform these last few years. It really is refreshing, you're a lot more honest than other content creators are these days and it's done you well. Thank you for everything you do on here. I believe it was one of your channels that actually introduced me to Life is Strange, which has been one of my favorite games since then. I just appreciate your work so much & I really am glad to see you haven't given up on it :)
I remember being a huge fan! Been to your shows before. I remember interacting with you on twitter where I asked a question about a vlog upload and I received a snappy reply. You said something like “I’m not doing them again! And you can take that to the bank!” Just want you to know that I forgive you, it’s water under the bridge. Don’t beat yourself up over stuff that’s happened beforehand as in most likelihood people either have forgotten or it doesn’t bother them anymore. If they don’t worry about it, you shouldn’t either. Be kind to yourself x
i like her. she has girl balls
I'm not sure that phrase has aged all that well! I stopped using it as soon as I felt it could be seen as inappropriate or offensive, many years ago. Not a lot of people knew it was a line from Scrubs which was my fave show at the time.
@@emmablackery Yeah, for a while that was probably my favorite phrase that I learned from UA-cam. It may or may not have bled over into some of the youth I worked with.
@emmablackery I hadn't watched Scrubs until recently and I did such a double take when I heard Kelso say it 😂
i remember when i started watching you at 12 and im 21 now and still loving watching you and listening to your music. they helped me through my younger years, i don't mean to sound like im putting you on a pedestal but you did help me through the years especially in secondary school where it was non stop hell, when i got back home it felt amazing to watch your videos and have a laugh after a awful day. i will say i did see some of the "mistakes" you made through the years and seeing you now being able to reflect is a beautiful thing, it's a very difficult thing to admit the past flaws, i know i have had to do that when reflecting on the person i was a few years ago
Seeing how much you've changed is amazing, I subbed to back when you featured on Dan's (nerd3) channel for the first time and suck around for nearly every single Birdyboots video before both you and Dan vanished from my yt feeds.
Im glad yt let me see how far you've come since then, and I'm glad you're doing better.
‘They were excited to be in the videos but didn’t the risks of understand that’. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. It needs to be said over and over and louder. 👏👏👏
I’m asked so often why I don’t have younger family members in my videos, my goodness, no way. The things that have happened to me I’d never wish them on anybody let alone kids. Mind blowing. It’s so scary. 🤯
Thanks for this video, really enjoyed it. I’ve been here a decade or so. 😅❤️
It's nice to see transparency and honesty still exists on this platform. It's super interesting to live in an age where you can grow up alongside and interact with so many other people, all figuring it out in their own ways. I'm proud to see you become more comfortable and confident over the years. It's good to see you're still doing well! While I do miss some of your old hidden videos, it's obviously worth it to unlist/private them if it concerns your privacy. Hopefully those decisions have not caused you too much strife. 2012 viewer here (I'm 25 now) and I have some of these content-related regrets myself. I'm also still learning some of these lessons - namely the ego thing and trying to control people's opinion/the flow of information about me - I can get too invested in that shit and it's unhealthy and unproductive, so I hope for this same growth in future. It's good to be honest about a problem when you notice it.
I've followed and watched you since I first met my ex girlfriend in 2015 and since then I know you've had your high points, low points all while I progressed and went on a journey of creation as a voice actor and streamer. Streamer hasn't cracked off, but I've done well as a VA so far. Went to England in 2019, went to Cali in 2017, been around the U.S. here and there, just waiting to find my true place in the world so I can elevate my status to a level even remotely on par with how you were/are.
But the one thing I need to mention thus far is how you've showcased your life here from when you started growing until now, honestly, without bullshit, without muddling words and fucking your fans or friends over.
You've been one of the very few genuine people on the internet as far as a musician and human goes. Other people have paved their way in falsehood and blood, but you've shown us your strengths, weaknesses and everything in between.
So that said please don't ever beat yourself up or hold regrets in your heart Emma. You're a good person and in the end you've shown how to grow.
Throughout all the UA-cam years I've known you, your ability to share your introspective thoughts has always touched me deeply. Your authenticity and emotional intelligence shine through every time, and your genuine truth is a constant source of reality for the human online experience. You've never missed a beat in expressing your deep awareness, and it means the world!!! Life is messy and raw, and you own it perfectly. You’re Emma fkn Blackery!!! Legend 🤘🏽
That's a really interesting ethical point about sharing kids online. I know you probably didn't realise at the time though and I feel like we know more about this stuff nowadays than we did then but I get why you feel bad for sure as something could've happened. There's this family vlogging channel I used to watch when I was younger that's been in the news for the mum basically being in some cult and abusing her kids physically and mentally and it's so awful and it's made me really think about kids being online and the dangers of it. The dangers of family vlogging specifically as well, parents using their children as essentially employees from straight out the womb in some cases, it's very disturbing really and it's a weird realisation to have cos I grew up watching family vlogs of people going on trips to disneyland and such. Some may be innocent or careful I don't know and I'm not a parent but it seems really weird to have that employee/employer relationship with a parent and a child or teenager, especially it being something so public. I meant this vlog mum I'm talking about made millions off her kids and then abused them, she even wrote a diary about it, it's so disturbing honestly and it's not even the first case, the daddyofive man is another one I can think of off the top of my head. Anyway sorry bit of a ramble but this has been on my mind a lot recently!
Emma, I am one of those who've been with you for 10 years! I know this is weird as hell because you don't know me at all; But being 30 now we went through so much of the same shit together. Rough relationships, mental health issues, starting out in alt music as a woman, horrific food service jobs and even CFS. I spent years pushing for a diagnosis after I saw your video. It feels good to kinda "compare" myself with you and see we're both in an amazing place with all of these things now :)
Emma's been a part of my digital life for over a decade now and I've seen it all. LOVED it all. All the channels, all the different looks, the honest and direct nature of Ms Blackery. Her dad! who is AMAZING. We all have regrets, but following you is 100% never one of them.
Just to add, the little thing you created at the end and you saying "It's not perfect, but maybe that doesn't matter" was very touching. I love it (the little cyclops you made) and the sentiment. Wise words, but words that have been fought hard for over the years and come from a deep experience. Takes a strong person to apologise for their past self and though I don't think we ever fell out? I'm sure (and hope) those with whom you did, see this video and accept it.
Have a good week, Em (sorry for the second reply, just wanted to add this).
I used to watch your channel in the ‘hayday’ of it all when I was an early-mid teenager. I’ve just rediscovered your channel recently as now a mid-twenties adult and it’s incredible the development of your maturity and accountability, props to you for this video!❤
I watched you from 2013 - 2016 and i also lived in Basildon. I remember seeing you around in town and i always went up to say hi (apart from when you were with your siblings) and ask for a photo and you were always so nice to me. At the time i didnt think ahout how at best, annoying, at worst, scary that mustve been to see fans in your home town while you were just in the town centre. Thank you for being so nice and sweet!
It's a huge positive to have such grounded self insight and personal character growth and be able to be so open about it. Really good sign that someone is a good person. And I'm glad you don't hyper-judge yourself so hard anymore.
And welcome to the ADHD team btw. :D
I actually enjoyed your Sims videos. Hope you go back and play again.
I don’t know if I will, I put my gaming PC away for a bit! I go through phases with The Sims where I play obsessively for weeks and then don’t touch it for months.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us, it feels like something i need to hear from an older and wiser sister and yes i pretty much grew up with you and experienced nothing but respect and love from you so go easy on yourself!! without making or acknowledging the acts that we did were mistakes we would have continued doing them so what matters now emma is the present you're living to build your future, i love you ❤
i feel like a lot of these things everybody can benefit from hearing, especially the safety issue, it isn’t even just content creators who should be careful about posting their locatjon, or their house. i don’t consider myself popular but even i don’t post my house anywhere but a private snapchat story. not even on my yearly facebook albums. it’s been a pleasure to watch you grow by the way! i started watching you when you did your first feel good 101 video and stuck around since (remember your fight with that band manager blair on twitter?) and i feel like you know of me but id still not feel right like speaking to you outside of a m&g or event unless you were absolutely ok with it so for people to give you safety concerns is insane on their part. although speaking of snapping online i remember you took an emoji i used the wrong way and snapped at me hahaha but we quickly resolved that! so proud of you and who you’ve became in the last 11 years! 💕
Know of you?! I always recognise you Jay! Loved your makeup looks for years!!
And also I’m sorry for snapping like a total dick!!
I found you before I was even in my teens, now I’m 22 and I adore each time I see you post on UA-cam coz it’s like seeing an old friend again for the first time in months, I hope you’ve been alright and I hope you’ve been staying safe
I love this sort of video. The "character growth" is incredible, and I think it's only natural as we get older to reflect on what we have done, and it takes a strong person to be able to display so publicly how they have changed and grown 🥰 x
I spent so much of my childhood going through your videos, they helped me get through school and become a better person honestly. You will always be one of those UA-camrs I'll consistently check up on. Even if I was never a huge fan of the genre of music you make, I can still respect your craft and I'm glad its given you so many opportunities to continue to tour and truly live your dream!
I made a pop-art fanart of you on Twitter back in 2017/2018, and when I saw you had liked it it made little high school sophomore me so happy :) Thank you for all the laughs and joy you’ve spread from your time on youtube to your music, and good luck with all future endeavors both creative and personal! Sending good vibes to you and your community always :)
We used to watch a lot of your second channel stuff and gaming stuff I knew that you were known for drama but that never really bothered me I just enjoyed the content where you were yourself. It's okay to grow and I think you should be incredibly proud not only that you have grown but that you recognise that mistakes were made and that you want to move forward from them or have moved significantly forward from them. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm only just realising that I am myself wasn't the best person in my 20s breaking habits and stuff is really hard especially when you grow up with the basic integration of social media we were essentially the first generation to be teenagers with the Internet and it was basically a freefall and a lot of it still is so I wouldn't blame yourself too harshly
I met you at the SitC warmup in Edinburgh and when I told you how much you meant to me, you cried and thanked me for telling you. I’m older now and have less parasocial support systems but I can’t tell you how much that interaction meant to 12 year old me and how much it still warms my heart to think about ❤
BirdyBoots was my ultimate comfort content during depressive epsiodes; especially the life is strange playthroughs! So happy they've been reuploaded! Lots of love and virtual hugs from Germany❤
Hi Emma, I started watching your channel back in the day, and I think this video was really mature and refreshing. I’m happy to see where you are now, and congratulations on getting a diagnosis. I, too, am neurodivergent and it’s cool to know that in high school I was able to watch the content of a fellow neurodivergent who made me feel less lonely. Thank you for bringing back some good UA-cam memories!
Birdyboots was the first thing that came to mind for me when you started to list off all the dead channels over the years and I was about to be upset you didn't even remember it lmao. We're within like 1-2 years of each other in age and it's just nice to see you less stressed and happier. I've been on my own mental health journey the past couple years. Always nice to see other people you liked doing well for themselves. It's motivating. I really enjoyed the comedy skits over the years and the vlogs, thanks for the laughs Emma.
Love the video Emma!!just wanted to tell you I started watching you when I was 13 and you were my first ever concert, it holds so many memories for me and was the reason I got into music and playing guitar, as well as being so inspiring to me. now watching you and I’m 21 and music is my full time job and I have to thank you!! Made my teenage years less rough as I’m sure lots of people can relate, so much love for you❤
Also if you remember getting a book full of puns about your last name that was me 😂
Thank you so so much£! I hope you can make it to another show soon. Doing some this year!!
Wow! I absolutely loved this video! I learned so much about the internet that I knew ethereally by simply having a pulse when the internet exploded, but you brought home both the best of the internet (views, adulation, sponsorships, etc.), but at the same you crystal clearly revealed how this new wonder-world of the mystical, magical internet brought direct tangible danger to you and those you love. I'm so sorry all of those insidious experiences happened to you and those you loved and I'm so glad you and all those you love escaped without any irreparable damage. And I'm so glad you're now in a genuinely good place and about to marry the person you love... and the person who equally loves you. I wish you both the best! And I hope, as long as it's safe and positive for you, that you can continue to make more beautifully honest videos like this video to edify the rest of us on all the positives and negatives of participating on the internet will bring all of us... as clearly the internet itself is in such an incredibly nascent stage of development. And so your now sage words of wisdom, gleaned from being courageous and tough enough to try and touch the untouchable sun, will absolutely benefit all of your peers and definitely benefit all future content producers, so that they they can hopefully create positive content for the rest of us in a way that is beneficial to their souls, and hopefully their pocket books, but most importantly is done in a way where they themselves and those they love are safe! Like I hope you and those you love are now safe!
Just hearing your voice is so nostalgic. Mistakes or not, I grew up alongside you and I'm happy you're still on the platform.
Where you are right now. You've come so far and some of your growth has helped myself too. Been in the last few years coming to this path of stepping back from things and not taking it all as personally, enjoying the positive over the negativity and focusing energy where it's wanted and given back. Maybe that's just entering your thirties?
I’m 26 now and I grew up with your videos. I’ve had some similar regrets to you, especially regarding how personally I can take things sometimes. I feel like there’s so much wisdom that can be gained from a video like this from you, especially for younger people. Also, love the figure, so cute
So I started watching you in 2012 when I was 18 and now, watching you as an adult, this take is so refreshing. You’ve shown so much growth as a person and it’s wonderful to observe ❤
I still love your videos, they cheered me up as a depressed teenager and youve made more mature content as I've grown older so it's like you've been a virtual big sister/aunty (although you obviously didn't know i didn't exist). You made mistakes sure but that's human, just if you do it online it's way harder than for people who's lives aren't exposed online
I feel very lucky I was a demma fan back in the day however really got into Emma's videos just before the release of her villains album.. And I remember the hard times you were having and yes I know you were oversharing but it resinated with me as I'd just lost my dad at the time(nothing like someone else's pain to help you through) and was lucky enough to meet you and davey at the tour and you both were super friendly
I've also been a patreon supporter in the past and had the chance to play among us with you and I owe you for introducing me to Taylor swift
Thanks for being part of our lives and we wish you all the happiness in the world
Have fun being a brummie bride ❤❤❤❤
I have enjoyed watching you and your many channel iterations over the years. I appreciate how much you’ve grown over time, it’s definitely harder to make these growth journeys when you have so many people watching you like you do. Also, your hair looks incredible, glad you’re still having fun with it and having fun with life!
AS SOMEONE WHO ALSO GOT AN ADULT ADHD DIAGNOSIS IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AS TO WHY I LOVED YOU SO MUCH I love how we all seek out representation unknowingly ❤️
I started watching you in 2013 when I was 13 and I’ve just turned 24. I was a depressed kid listening to The Promise and waking up at 4am (I’m from Australia) to watch YouNow lives. I still think I have one of your old merch shirts from 2013/14 that I grew out of! Thank you for growing up with me ❤
I honestly don't remember when i started following you. Probably during the comedy skit era and Google+ song. I've stuck around ever since, and I'm still here
I really needed to hear that last regret because I'm living it everyday. I'm going through a time where I'm discovering there's a chance I might be on the spectrum and it's been jarring to say the least. I've always had issues understanding people and where they come from which has led me to being really obsessed with how people view me. I've been such a people pleaser all my life that there were moments in the past I essentially dehumanized myself. Not knowing if someone likes me or not and if they don't why. Even if someone shows they truly care for me, all it takes is 1 instance of them not giving me some form of attention to throw myself in a spiral of "What did I do wrong?". A lot of it also comes from self-hate and I just laugh at myself sometimes because I'm really just depending on the thoughts of others who either A) Love me for me or B) Don't even think about me half the amount I think they do.
Well done for reflecting, admitting and growing on your life lessons - that takes a lot - even moreso to post it online and be so open! Proud of you ❤ Your growth over the last few years especially has been amazing, and it's lovely to see your happier, more content and more relaxed in life as you deserve to be.
I remember SitC 2014 I met you and you were lovely - though I might have been a bit over excited/overbearing so I apologise if I was (I'm sure I cringed at my own behaviour when I watched my vlog back 😬) Hindsight and Autism Diagnosis is a wonderful thing and explains a lot 🤣
You have matured so well. I thoroughly enjoyed this video, Emma. I'm a few years older than you, but I'll keep watching your content. I've watched you for several years and you're really maturing well!
I love to see this from you Emma, watched your videos when I was very young, and It's amazing to see your maturity now compared to the past and seeing you be able to admit serious mistakes you made in the past and taking them as seriously as you can, awesome stuff!
birdyboots was a gem. Your gameplay of Paper's Please was my favorite. : D
You're pretty awesome Emma, don't beat yourself up too much.
I'm one of those that have been watching over the last ten years. its been wonderful watching you grow and mature and doing the same along side you. I hope everything in the future goes well (:. also you should do a proper look back on your music if you haven't already and I just don't remember, id love to hear your thoughts on some of your older stuff that aren't the singles of eps and such.
I'm a ride or die. I think because I understood on some level. But Dan came after me at a misunderstanding on Twitter and he sicced his followers on me and I and never been so depressed. I appreciate you for working on yourself ❤
I'm sorry that happened, but if its any help Dan doesn't use twitter anymore he ages ago couldn't bare it and did a purge of everything, that was his last moments using it, nowadays he has a account but its not used how it was back then + not managed by him but by Matt (a close friend and manager of nerdcubed stuff)
we all can be lead into the hate train that is twitter without stepping back for a moment and really thinking about it
if you went up to dan today and said this is what happened I'm absolutly sure he would apologize and say a similar thing to what I'm saying here
cause thats not who dan is anymore
Omg I would love to see some gaming content! Birdyboots was such a fun time, I still rewatch the papers please let’s play
damn i started watching u when i was like 12 or 13, and i just turned 20 literally a month ago. I feel so old now 😭I remember seeing you perform in Manchester in late 2018 and i loved it can't believe how long its been since then tbh. Hope everyone who sees this is doing well :)
Honestly Emma I’ve been watching you for ten years, and I’ve always enjoyed your content. We all do stuff that still makes us die inside when we remember it, lol I have way too many examples! I wanted to say I was in a dark place last year and I cried my eyes out your song The Promise more times that I can count. It really saved me. I hope you stay around for years to come 😊
the fact that as a 16 year old i subscribed to every one of those channels. just hearing their names brings back soooo much nostolgia or your old opening "i like her she has girl balls"
The multiple channels thing is weird bc I remember it was SO common back in the day, iJustine had a bunch and had a twitter account that would share when any of her channels posted, and then with The Algorithm™ that whole scene of multiple channels kinda died out with people wanting all their content easy to find in one place, and then recently people are bringing it back with pairings like gaming channel + VOD channel + vlog/irl channels and such.
It's coming full circle in a way.
Gonna have a reaction comment chain here lol, I've been watching/following you for 10 years now and it's wild to look back at this stuff. At least Vloggery didn't get deleted into the void, that one got merged into this one when you switched to the artist account thing.
I used to watch you all the time, I think from my own point of view is that you changed from someone I liked watching to someone I didn’t; quite simple I know but it felt like you changed from funny skits and commentaries to music videos and it wasn’t really what I personally wanted to see to be honest. It’s your channel and you’ve got to grow with the times; I guess you just grew into someone I didn’t want to watch anymore. Still much love and good luck.
That’s totally fine. I just couldn’t keep forcing comedy when it was getting so tired.
@@emmablackery I can’t imagine how difficult it is to keep coming up with ideas that your audience would love; I would have tired a long time before you did; I guess I just kind of outgrew watching UA-cam more so than just your content. It’s nice to see you’re doing well now though, honest content always appeals more to me;has more of a refreshingly positive outlook then the negative stuff you see on here; prank videos and reaction videos.
Getting cyberbullied is so hard. When it was happening to me (I'm not a public figure, just someone that was in a DIY band), I didn't delete things for a while because I didn't want to "give in." But i gave myself so much stress I didn't need to have, because when I did eventually delete things like 8 months later, it really helped my mental health. I understand that it's a little different for you, because you were so active online. But i think there are pros and cons to both ways of handling it, and sadly no really good solution. I'm glad you know now what you would rather to do tho if something tough like that ever happens again (which I hope it doesnt!!)
Emma, I understand the different channel and ADHD thing. I have mild ADHD or as my boss likes to call it "Oh, oh he's distracted by bright shiny things" Even though there has been a lot of drama you have experienced life and it has brought you to where you are today and I hope you have happiness and peace.
Emma 😭 UA-cam took you off my algorithm for like 5 years. I missed you. You popped into my brain like a blessed childhood best friend
I am number 2: I mostly remember your collabs with Barry Lewis and Stuart Ashen, but of course the [REDACTED] Vlog-Log as well.
Aside from that, most regrets you listed seem to me (as person with a third person view) almost "normal" for people that published on UA-cam for a long time. Most importantly you see your mistakes and learn from them.
Thanks!
Birdyboots and Vloggery were bloody iconic!
I spent 30+ years having undiagnosed ADHD, I firmly get the regretting attitudes etc. Don't be so hard on yourself. I overshared, over flirted, was over sensitive etc. But we are all dealing with learning how to human in our 20s, we dont see it until we are nearly 40 and that's crazy to me. That I'm only just learning who I am at 40. We just calm down then and readdress our priorities, we all do it, and in our 20s we all thought we never would.
My hopes for new generations, for women especially, is we are all much quicker to suss out what is toxic and move far away from it so we can spend more time being happy and authentic and less time feeling lost and ostracised.
Heres to late diagnosis club and lets hope we get fewer and fewer members as time goes on ❤
(Sidenote I too got into fimo as a hobby and it now sits in a cupboard in a box hehehe. I will get it out this week in honour of you).
I was a fan of Vloggery and BirdyBoots, they respectively allowed you to show a more serious and more fun side to yourself.
I remember you talking about those two fans who dropped a letter through your (new at the time) apartment door. They said they'd found you and asked to visit, which really freaked you out. Filming on the roof was a bad move, it made it easy to identify that building, which I recognised having only been there once (before you moved in).
This may be another regret, I don't know but the only thing you've ever done that disappointed me was when you called out actress Abigail Breslin for releasing a song that crapped all over her ex, seemingly because you were a fan of his. She received a lot of unwarranted threats for that (not your fault) but you did jump on to the bandwagon, even if it was at the back. However, the disappointing part was when (later on I think) you did exactly the same by releasing your own song. I'm not calling you out for it, I suspect you may regret it now and I got over it quickly but it was a sour point for a bit.
You're much improved these days. 🙂
I actually made a video about the Abigail Breslin situation a while back! I spoke about how much I regretted it, and Abigail saw the video. We spoke for a while, I apologised personally, and we get on well :)
@@emmablackery Ah yes, I remember that video now, my memory is a bit foggy these days. It's great that you sorted it all out and I appreciate the reply.
Emma you were not as awful as you think your only problem was you got cross quick and ranting online especially in messages. The back and forth was a lot but you were certainly NOT the only one and you gained a new perspective and grew as a person more than I’ve seen most do and you’ve been on this journey for years now. Loving the nostalgia, this is your time now no pressures just existing in confidence and self love! We see you 🌻🌹
You grown up so beautifully!!! Been a fan since the early 2010s! I'll never forget you, Emma!
Your wisdom is eternally relevant! :D
I’m riding a high after just getting an interview in canvey but I wanna say you are 100% the best thing to come out of Basildon and it’s so amazing to know that one of the UA-cam goats came from the same hometown as me thank you for everything
So mature 🎉 it's all good, though. We are all learning what we can from our encounters with people. And it's so much harder on the internet. You're brave for admitting your faults. I'm so happy for you. I wish you all the love and success that you deserve ❤️ 🌸
Dan (nerdcubed) one time had someone find his house because they figured out which apartment he was in based on the view from the balcony, and they figured out which unit was his because they saw the welcome mat in a video. Unless you *absolutely undoubtedly know* what to look for, it *does not matter* what you think is safe to post in and around your house. I have seen so many UA-camrs post information that could easily lead to their house.
Admitting mistakes is growth. I 'm 30 now and gosh looking back on me being younger makes me sudder. been an no out to grow alongside you
While I've been watching for a very long time, one video that has stood out to me is your Living Below The Line challenge; your tip about rinsing out sauce jars so none of it goes to waste plays in my head every time! I read the Steve Jobs biography because of a book review video you made. It's interesting how we shape each other in so many ways, isn't it?
idk why but the intro scared me haha
im not used to hearing 'what up everybody Emma blackberry here' lmfao
I enjoy these type of videos. What I really enjoy is seeing you looking healthy. (I may be wrong as I don’t know you personally and makeup can be deceiving.) I’m glad you can look back honestly and have learnt from your online experiences. It’s been a long learning process for us all, not just content creators but for consumers too.
We all loved birdyboots haha! If you ever wanted to get back into posting gaming stuff I know I'd love it. You seem to be much more comfortable just doing whatever content you feel like on this channel now which is great. If you enjoy what you make so will we.
You're very brave to come on here and speak about all of your mistakes. I think we forget that our favourite youtubers were also growing up as well, you didnt have all the answers or know how to act. But I'm glad to see you doing well.
My UA-cam suggested seems to be going back to the old days with your videos being on my homepage, it brings me so much nostalgia. Been here since before the upload 3 tour and I'm still here 💖
HOW COULD YOU FORGET BIRDYBOOTS?! lmao just kidding, although it was a classic. I've been along for this ride since I believe 2015/2016 and honestly? You were one of the only people that kept me on Twitter for as long as I was. I loved the community page (any of emma's blackberries sound out please, I miss you lot) and the interactions we occasionally had and when you thanked me for the article I wrote about your last tour. I'm definitely better off mentally for not having that app anymore but I really loved this video. It's so important to look back at what we've done and acknowledge where we were right, wrong and still had room to grow. Thanks for still posting things now and again, it's great to see
I met you at SITC in the 2010s…I can’t remember exactly what year. I was so anxious and you were so kind and lovely :) mistakes are just part of life! This is a lovely reflective video though!