I quit without giving notice (my tech burnout story) 3 years later // my burnout diaries
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- Опубліковано 29 тра 2024
- In this video I want to share my story of burnout (working in the tech industry) and how I quit my corporate job to focus on my mental health.
Burnouts can be scary since it silently creeps up on you, and can cause both mental and physical health issues. Listen to your body, take care of yourself, and take the time you need, it will get better I promise.
Be kind to yourself. ❤️
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#simpleliving #burnout #softwareengineer
Follow me on Instagram: / ndruxu
The higher you go up, the more ruthless and soulless you have to be in order to maintain status quo.
Raymond, 100%! That's how I felt as well, at certain point I felt like I sold my soul, and becoming of a version of myself that's not true to who I am or want to be. Hope you're doing well!
agree...i work in fintech now, make $200k/year, hate every minute of it and every day is a mental grind. you get to a point where money is no longer fixing anything and you start questioning why and for what?
Agreed!
you can actually improve this with the attitude of service aka you goal is to help other and promote your subordinate. It sound weird but with that the politic won't bother you because you do not care about it.
The politics of the workplace is the worst. It really takes the fun out of things - and that's everywhere. I don't think it's just a tech thing. I am an architectural designer, and it's never enough either. I am glad you are working towards a life of happiness and peace.
Ya totally. I hope you are doing well and making time for yourself too! Life is too short ❤️
As someone who is working on customer service with 100 people in the office, the politics are f***** ridiculous, can't put it into words.
Hi, I was in medicine and I cannot even began to explain what it was like, it was so toxic.
No 👎, management takes the fun out of things.
There is no escaping this useless role in corporate America 🇺🇸.
Work itself is great 👍. If only there was a professional job that didn't include meetings and the waste that schedules them - management. 😳
@@alphaomega1351there is such work: going freelance or entrepreneur is the way to go! You own small business.
"If you don't do more, you're seen as a non-performer" is so true.. and honestly such an outdated way to view things from our managers. My job description clearly outlines what my job duties are, and if I execute all those listed duties, then I AM a performer. I am performing to the expectations set. Anything beyond needs to be determined by my motivation and wage bonus/raise.
hey there, it definitely is, and this "hedonic treadmill" or "hamster wheel" just keeps going and going. Hope you're doing well, and remember to be kind to yourself and do things you love outside of work. Take care!
In my performance review manager said that just doing the tasks that I'm assigned isn't enough. I have to be a "leader." I don't have any reports to lead. And all the tasks involved me working late nights to get everything done within deadlines. But that's minimized. I'm also burned out but I'm afraid to quit and have to deal with no emplyer health insurance.
So true!
@@GizmoMaltese Being a leader can mean taking on the responsibility for a product improvement, an architectural change, and many more things. In general, taking initiative and ownership. If teammates often come to you for questions, you're a leader. The more you're seen as such, the more you'll get to work on the interesting parts of software, the more you'll be trusted with making decisions, and the easier it'll be to get promotions. Focus on the things that have the most impact on the business you're working for. Leaders also set boundaries. Working late hours goes unseen more often than not and will make you unhappy and unhealthy. If management sets unrealistic expectations, it's on them.
Yeah, you're matching the expectations set.
And the expectation is to fire you in a few years if you don't become better because the field is always changing and you should be able to adapt.
Anyway FAANG is all about visibility, seems like the job here is just to gaslight people that you're doing something useful rather than actually doing anything
This is exactly my experience. I worked in the graphic section for 7 years before burnout. I was really embarrassed about it because I'm in my late 20s and it's unheard of to be burnt out at that age in my country. I also quit without being able to even say farewell to the team, I just dropped everything and lived off of my savings. I got into therapy, rested and slept many many hours and slowly regained my physical health and strength. It was a horrible experience but I'm very grateful for it. It changes one's perspective and I really hope I can change my outlook on the importance of work in my life. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It really helps knowing I'm not alone in this and seeing how it gets better and better with time.
hey Soffy, you are definitely not alone in this! I think it's getting more and more prominent in this day and age to burn out (so it seems based on all the comments I'm reading here). I'm so happy you were able to do what's best for you and your health, it takes so much courage to do what you did, and there is nothing to be ashamed of ☺️. I hope you are feeling better now and on the road to a more balance and peaceful life, continue to be kind to yourself ❤️
I don't work in tech. Work in healthcare. The whole on call system is definitely brutal. Left my corporate healthcare job and took many months for my burnout to heal. For people who have options, backup plans, or financial security, I highly encourage to not let work burnout take over your life. I understand everyone's situation is different, but burnout is no joke. Glad you made a choice that is in the best interest for you! Thanks for sharing!
Hey there, the on-call responsibilities definitely does add an extra layer of stress to the already stressful day to day eh? I'm happy to hear that you're able to recover from it and move on! I hope you're doing better now that you've left that environment! Best of luck!
@@andrewxu thank you. Definitely better and I left to jump into entrepreneurship which is life changing. Learned what my limits are to prevent burnout. Best of luck to you too!
I’m happy for you guys that you found your ways but plz for autistic person like me plus general anxiety what would you suggest, anyway we need to work for financial stability
Same here. Was in Navy Healthcare, 12-16 hour days, 6 days a week. Exhausted.
4 months unemployed after resigning from a toxic job that had been giving me intense anxiety , im living off my savings currently and i feel good, i love slow mornings. Im glad I saved a lot of money. I live frugally also
hey Rod, so happy to hear you're doing better now. During my burnout (which I didn't explicitly mention in this video) I also developed intense anxiety and panic attacks. It was no bueno so I know exactly how you feel. Simple, frugal, and slow is the better way to go ☺️. Take care!
Hang in there buddy, I quit my job too, my mental health is getting affected, anxiety is off the roof, so today is my last working day. Let's hope for the best and find some meaningful job. For now I will relax , go fishing and take the slow mornings and enjoy them as much as possible.
living the dream..
Great testimony! I was in tech, and got burned out at my last job, which had become toxic (microaggressions, passive-aggresive manager, no growth, taking a coworker to HR for hostile behavior ((and this was a REMOTE job!))). I actually had gotten on a healthy kick the year prior to my resignation (I actually got rid of type 2 Diabetes); the stress I was feeling at work threatened to undo all of that hard work-I was having trouble sleeping, getting headaches, and at 45 years old, was getting pimples LOL. I resigned and immediately felt better. I've gone through the stages of "recovering" (going from being angry to relaxed and at peace) and have been enjoying my time off. Like you, I had good savings because life has taught me that these companies will run you ragged if. you let them, and sometimes you gotta blow the hatch and escape!
wow congrats on getting rid of your type 2 diabetes! Happy to hear you were also able to recovery your physical and mental health, life is so short, health is most important. Hope you continue to do well and take care of yourself!
Did we work at the same company because this sounds a lot like where I work haha
Congrats on getting rid of your type 2 diabetes!
@@MiraiyukiMiho thank you!!
I very much like the phrase " blow the hatch!"
I’m at a burnout spot now and really contemplating quitting as my company was acquired and the new management is constantly threatening, toxic and completely lacking any vision or competence. Thank you for sharing your story.
Hey there, hope everything works out for you, remember to take care of yourself :)
I feel this, I also had to leave a difficult job, the work was easy but the mental toll of working there was too much, I'm so glad I did it, took some time to heal but we got there 😊 thanks for sharing!
I'm so glad to hear you did what's right for you and your health! And it sounds like you've made a good recovery from that too! So happy for you!
I'm in the same situation. I want to quit but I'm afraid. Health insurance and the fear that it will take too long for me to find another job.
An advice to all fellow coders having a burnout -- DON'T QUIT!
I mean, don't just quit by sending a resignation letter. Here is the proper algorithm how to quit the right way (for FTE):
1) Talk to HR and find out how many sick days you have (you may be eligible to up to 5 or even more). Tell your manager that you are feeling very sick and take all of them at once. You will get paid for that time while recovering.
2) Schedule and take all the vacation days for that year. Depending on the company it could be up to 4 weeks, or more if you are in Europe. Just tell your manager that you need to take that vacation because your health comes first before anything else, yes, even before the deadlines. You will get paid for that time while recovering.
At this point, there are 2 options.
3a) (Optional step) If you can find a doctor who will be willing to acknowledge that you have severe mental health issues, you can apply for Medical Leave benefits and go on the medical leave for as long the doctor is willing to approve it. You will get paid for that time while recovering.
3b) After the vacation or medical leave is over, talk to HR and go to Unpaid Leave. This costs nothing to the firm and they will readily provide it to you. You can be on the Unpaid Leave for several months. ATTENTION: during this time, after a few weeks or months, the HR may contact you requesting to come back on a certain date. DO NOT REJECT this demand -- come back as requested. Don't worry - they have already put you on their black list and you won't stay there for too long anyway.
4) Once the Unpaid Leave is over (or you came back on their demand), come back and join the team. Citing the health issues, ask your manager to excuse you from participation in all meetings, except the most essential ones. Do some PR's at your own pace, but don't strain yourself. You are already on your way out because of the Unpaid Leave you took, such things are usually not forgiven, so take it easy. It's only a matter of time that they will kick you out, most likely it's a matter of only a few weeks. You will get paid for that time, while not straining yourself too much.
Because you missed so much time, your performance evaluation during that period will be awful. That makes sense, because you didn't perform anything during that period. Therefore,
5) Quietly wait for you manager to urgently contact you to give you the news. This can happen any day and it won't take too long. Just be patient. There is 95% chance that they will tell you that your position has been eliminated.
IMPORTANT: that means that you lost your job not because of your misconduct, but due to unrelated circumstances, which will later make you eligible for Unemployment Benefits. You will get paid the unemployment benefits for the next few months while recovering from the burnout.
6) Within the first week after the termination, apply for the Unemployment Insurance benefits;
7) Downsize, move to a tiny apartment, and reduce all the expenses to a bare minimum. Get rid of all your addictions if you had any (drugs, booze, whores, smoking, etc.). They are expensive and will prevent your full recovery.
8) During the recovery period, pray every day to God to fully heal you, and after a few weeks or months, after you have sufficiently recovered, start doing something small, like a leetcode problem every day, or learning something new at your own pace (for example, for certifications), and think of ideas of your own projects that you can do with your skills. With these new skills, start implementing a new portfolio project that you might later showcase or maybe at some point even develop it into a platform for generating some income.
Here are the advantages of the above approach:
- You will get paid by the firm for several extra weeks of you burnout recovery (sick days + vacation + couple weeks of waiting for termination);
- Because you lost your job not for any fault of your own and, most importantly, YOU DID NOT QUIT, you will be eligible for Unemployment Insurance benefits for up to a year (practically, at least a few months);
- Because you didn't quit, you will be eligible for a decent SEVERANCE PACKAGE, which could be at least 10k+ or so.
- If this was you first year of employment and you had a sign-up bonus, YOU WON'T NEED TO RETURN IT. If you just quit, you will have to return any sign-up bonus in full, which will probably be a nasty surprise for you if you didn't read the small print when accepting it.
- All in all, with the above approach, you will collect ~50k+ extra income that will allow you to stay home for at least couple years to fully recover -- which may possibly save your life.
Thanks for the great guide! It's especially helpful for someone going through the deep end of a burn out and cannot think clearly. Love it. Hope you're doing well!
@@andrewxu If you want, you may pin it to the top so our struggling burned-out brethren could actually find it in the sea of comments. That may do some good.
Wow this is super useful very useful! Wish I found this out last yr in Nov when I quit my job due to grief.
All of the above is great, but you're missing one step. If your manager takes any adverse action against you of any kind, including a negative performance review, file EEOC disability discrimination charges which could double or triple that severance pay you mentioned.
@@monterreymxisfun3627 In the above algorithm we assumed good or at least normal relations with the manager and the team.
This is why I love my job so much, it's incredibly flexible, I've got a cool boss and the team and I are always helping each other out.
Same!
What job do you do?
you’re in for shocker
I'm in an analyst role (:@@zohashahid30984
I don't know how I ended up here but I'm doing what you did 3 years ago now. Thank you for sharing!
Hey there! Sometimes I like to think everything happens for a reason. I hope you are doing well, and if not, that's ok too because I know how it feels and you WILL get through this period and thrive. Listen to your body, take the time you need, and most importantly be kind to yourself
I am literally watching this at 5am as I prep for interviews after taking a 3 month very much needed break of just not applying to jobs anymore. I completely understand where you are coming from as a student who worked full-time for the past 2 years. The tech industry is so BRUTAL and so is being on a daily 9-5 schedule. You are not crazy at all, all of your feelings are completely valid as I have experienced them too. I am so glad you did not wait any longer to take care of your mental and physical well-being first. Props to you from another hustling Asian! Your story is so inspiring and heartfelt, thank you for sharing and validating my burnout experience too 👏
hey there, thanks for your comment. I hope you can remember to be kind to yourself, and always prioritizing yourself. It's so easy to get lost in this rat race and forget the meaningful things. Good luck with your interviews! Take care ❤️
@@andrewxu Thank you so much! I go to a top school and the environment is often so cutthroat and depressing to me. I don't know how people do this for their whole life and tie their whole identity to work. I recently had hives from all the stress and it was so bad, but I took a long break and am doing so much better now. Just trying to give myself grace and reminding myself that I will have my dream opportunity soon amid all the scary layoffs. Watching this was very reassuring to know I wasn't the only one who felt crazy. Thank you
All the best for your interviews!
@@MiraiyukiMiho Thank you SO much everyone, your encouraging words really helped me through this difficult time...I got the offer!!! Can't wait to start.
Thanks Andrew for sharing your story. I’ve in SWE longer than you and had many burnt out in the past when I just wanted to quit. But I couldn’t do it b/c of my kids. Fast forward, I balanced my life by playing tennis at competitive levels and it worked out for me since. Good luck to you!
hey there, really happy to hear that you are able to find a balance! Take care!
Awesome! I play competitive tennis too!
Pulled straight on my heart strings. Been in corporate tech for 10 years and it is tough realizing that all this time I was never able to give myself the trust and kindness to be able to do anything different.
Andrew, it felt so good to hear someone who has gone through and overcome similar struggles with mental health and work stress. I’m on a journey myself, at an earlier stage. Really excited for your next vlog!
Hey Stephen, hope you're doing well, remember to take your time, and be kind to yourself, you're going to get through this period, and you'll feel whole (and a peace) again! ❤️
Appreciate you sharing your story man, honestly don't know how this got recommended to me but I'm glad I clicked and watched this. I got laid off from my last job a few months ago and now I'm kind of taking a break while trying to break into Cyber Security. Quitting the corpa life is never an easy choice. I'm glad you're mental health is a lot better now. I subbed to your channel, look forward to more videos
hey there, sorry to hear about your layoff but I'm glad you're making the best of it. Sometimes we just have to trust that one day things will all make sense, and perhaps this will end up being a gift rather than a curse :). Seems like we're both in the tech space, good luck on your venture into Cyber Security!
Kudos to you doing the right thing for your health and yourself. Bravery will be appreciated.
Hey there, thanks for your kind words. I hope you are also taking care of yourself and prioritizing you! Because you and your health is most important.
Thanks for sharing Andrew! The relentless pace of learning, delivering, and still dealing with complaints
hey there, thanks for watching. That's a great way to put it, everything was "relentless"! Hope you're doing well, remember to be kind to yourself, take care!
I burned out a year ago. I took 6 months to heal and then I went back to work. I’m in my second job in 6 months. I feel crazy because I’m not back to normal… but I’m still figuring out how to exist post burnout.
I still don’t have my health in order. I gained 50 pounds from the stress. It’s good to see you reflecting 3 years later. Maybe I just need more time.
hey Katrina, everyone recovers differently and at different speeds. Be kind to yourself, take all the time you need. Know that you're doing your best and figure it out as you go, day by day. It will get better I promise, take care ❤️
Was it hard to find another job? Is it a remote job? I'm in the same situation. I want to quit but I'm afraid. I'm fully burned out. I'm just a shell at this point.
maybe 6 months was too little.
@@GizmoMaltese I did have a hard time getting another job.. part of it was the holidays and the other part is the market isn’t great. I leaned on my partner and took my time. I had an easier time finding contract work.
I come back to this video every few days. It's good to hear someone who can relate, and you articulated it perfectly.
Hey there, thanks for watching, glad this video can provide you a sense of comfort, hope you’re doing well, remember to be kind to yourself! ❤️
I totally feel you on this, Andrew. Thanks for sharing this and helping others think about this. My 1-year plan is to be outta corporate as well. Good luck bud!
hey there, thanks for watching. Happy to hear you have a plan to get out of the rat race! Good luck with your journey!
It's my story, I worked for 2 years as web developer, I did my best for gain experience and grow up as web dev, I lived 2 years at home thinking about just work, I gain weight, I starded to lost more hair and I didn't want to go out.... this only because I loved coding and I spent 2 years learning it by my self; for that reason I couldn't left the great opportunity easily; but you know what? Life is not only about money and career, life is all about experiences and having a good mental and health conditions makes them great!
I just come back to make pizza ( I'm italian😂) , is hard physically but when I'm done at work I'm not thinking about when I sleep or when I'm with my girlfriend. I'm recovering well and I'll make coding a good hobby.
Thanks for sharing
I'm so glad to hear you are taking care of yourself! So happy for you and best wishes!
Thanks 😊, what are doing now?
just focusing on self-care, living a simple life and sharing that with the world ☺️. hope you're doing well!
@@andrewxu that's so good :) yes I move again from Italy to Australia where there is no stress, reconnecting with nature
that sounds amazing! I'm so happy for you!
Thank you for sharing your expirience! I am a current CS student and have been feeling this even before my offical career has started with school, internships and peer pressure around me. I have found that mental health isn't talked about a lot in this space of grind and I constantly feel like I am not pushing myself hard enough to seek out thoses coveted jobs and titles. have a good week !! look forward to more videos
hey Judy, looking at your channel banner seems like you're from Calgary? I actually used to live there and got my CS degree at the UofC 🤓. I totally agree with you, mental health is one of the areas the tech space can improve on. The nature of the space being hyper competitive, and being a software developer trains us to think in a very binary way, which I think contributes to the "mental drain". I have so much I want to share in that regard and hopefully can help individuals like yourself on your career/journey in the tech space! Having said that, there are things that can be appreciated in this space as well. In the mean time, remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH (I struggled so hard with this throughout my tech career). I know you are doing your best, and that is ENOUGH. Life is short, never stop being kind to yourself ❤️
lol same, regretting my cs degree heading into my last year. homework is dreadful, the job search sucks, and i realized too late that i hate making projects sitting at a computer all day
Glad you are doing great and thanks for sharing your story! I've experienced some of what you are saying. Taking a break is essential and mental health is the first priority in life!
hey there, thanks for watching. Hope you're doing well, always prioritize mental health! Take care!
Thanks for sharing! I know that UA-cam has been recently promoting smaller channels and I'm glad that I found this one. You have a way of speaking. Keep @ it and this channel will explode. I'm lucky that I'm subscribing as one of your first 500 subscribers (when you reach like 1M)
Hey there! Thanks for your kind and encouraging words, I really appreciate it! Thanks for following along, hope you're doing well.
@andrewxu UA-cam usually shows me stuff from channels with huge followings. It is nice to see a video from a small channel. It makes me want to start my own youtube channel. Anyway, I think a lot of people end up burned out in technical jobs. Jobs like engineering, software development, and data science are mentally taxing.
@@andrewxu Thanks! 500+ new subscribers in a week, thats insane!
praying for healing in the corporate world - things need to change!
Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story. Im going through a similar experience and this video has made me feel much better about what I’m going through
hey Albert, glad the video helped you in some way. Hope things will get better for you, be kind to yourself. ❤️
An excellent video indeed. I was burned out after working in a tough sales environment for many years. The real issues were not just the brutal workload but also the negative people around me. I had colleagues trying to destroy me. After battling with toxic people and a tough work schedule for years, i eventually moved on. When i ended that chapter of my life, i was surprised at how long it took to recover from burnout. Exercise and going to the gym was a true blessing and also taking refuge in my spiritual faith has been vital. I spent time slowing down, simplify my life, avoiding toxic people, spending time in nature and just practicing gratitude for the little things of life. As you say, our bodies do tell us (warn us) and we do recover once we listen and prioritize our health over wealth. Thank you for making such an important and insightful video. So many of us need to hear this message of hope and wisdom.
great video btw. thanks for sharing. i'm sure burn out is a lot of people face but aren't brave enough to get away from and share about.
Really nice to hear your story! Thank you for sharing!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I just wanna thank you for sharing such a personal story. You seem pretty relaxed now, I hope you are.
Just subscribed to get some inspiration, because
I am going through a burn out right now.
It’s hard to not feel bad about not going to work.
And I also get bored if I don’t do anything, so sometimes I do too much at home. I probably shouldn’t, but in a way it’s helping me heal when I’m doing all of the creative things that I couldn’t do before.
I’m trying to document some things as well, just starting out 😊
Hey Robia, I'm glad you could relate and that you're prioritizing yourself! Checked out your content, love the vibe, keep on doing what you're doing! You will feel better soon I promise! Take care!
@@andrewxu Thank you so much for checking out my content, means a lot. Take care ✨🍀
Went through this a year and a half ago. Still haven’t gone back to tech, couldn’t be happier about my life and new goals and direction. Thanks for sharing
hey Justin, so happy to hear that you're in a better place! Honestly, tech isn't the only industry, and there are so many different kinds of opportunities out there. Sure, most don't pay as well, but what's money if we're unhappy right? Take care!
I love this video, its so nice your story! I work in Healthcare in the UK and I most certainly feel I can relate to you. I have definitely had this experience on many occasions. To me health is wealth, whether that is physical or mental health. It's so refreshing to hear your story Andrew, and also that you are recovering well from this experience! We only have 1 life and we should live every moment of it!
Hey Shane, I totally agree with you! Burning out is such a silent issue in many demanding industries, and I'm glad you also share the same sentiment as I do towards life! Also, thank you for your hard work as a healthcare worker. I can only imagine how insanely draining it can be both physically and mentally! Hope you are doing well, remember to be kind to yourself as well
Congratulations for your bravery!
Glad to know i am not weird or alone. Burn out mentally is really terrible, corporate politics erodes all my passion, confidence and energy. Hope I could learn from your experience and appreciate what the true meaning of life is. Thanks for sharing.
hey Ray, you are definitely not weird or alone! Hope you can find some time to self-care and prioritize yourself in the midst of all of the chaos. Life is short, be kind to yourself! Take care!
Thanks for sharing this! It 100% resonated with me; I especially second the gym aspect of COVID (or lack thereof) contributing. I've since discovered how important regular exercise is in my life...the endorphins and I think just the physical release of potential aggression is so essential for me staying somewhat sane.
Definitely! Gym is like the best therapy haha. Keep it up!
Thank you for sharing your story. I am watching this a second time because it is therapeutic to what I am going through now. Will probably watch it over and over again when I am feeling bad about what I am going through.
hey Soomie. I don't know what you're going through, but just remember to be kind to yourself ok? You're going to get through this. Take care ❤️
Love this for you! Definitely hard to put yourself first when you are used to being so work focused
thank you! It's a gentle reminder to ourselves that life isn't all about work. Work to live, and not live to work. Hope you're doing well! Take care!
Wow. Thanks for sharing. I'm here right now. I'm not sure if I'll leave, but it's great to hear someone talk about this so openly. Mental and Physical Health is so much more important that anything else.
hey Garrett, sorry to hear you're in the same situation, definitely prioritize your health over anything else. I didn't realize mental health and stress can impact physical health as well, until it happened, and thank goodness it wasn't anything irreversible. Hope the situation gets better for you, be kind to yourself, and take care! ❤️
Awesome video, thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I love that we're getting more of these candid discussions about life and burnout in the industry. Been seeing more and more people willing to talk about it in the wake of the pandemic. I know you don't attribute your burnout to the pandemic, and thats probably true, but I do think there's this sense of needing to vent and let go of something now that we're "back to normal". For myself I never really felt burnout DURING the pandemic, I just buckled down and worked my ass off. It's only post-pandemic that I've had a chance to pause and reflect and realize - holy shit, I've given my entire young adult life to my career and I think, I think I need to re-evaluate my priorities.
Been through that and still going through… thanks for sharing this!
hey there, you'll get through this I promise ☺️
thanks for sharing. hope we can see more of this type of content in the future
thank you so much for sharing your story. I also quit my stressful tech job 2 years ago and have been feeling very unproductive and getting lots of judgement from people for not working, it's good to hear about others also taking a long break
hey Meiri, I hope you're feeling better and on the road to recovery. There will always going to be people who won't understand, and perhaps judge, I try to remind myself that I was given a life to live the way I want to, not for/based on other people's opinions. Continue to do you, because life is short ❤️
hey andrew thanks for the video. this really resonates with me as im going through something similar and noticing that mental health is health and that needs to come first. thanks again for the vid
hope you're doing ok and make some time for yourself to self-care. be kind to yourself, take care! ❤️
Thank you for sharing this! All the best and very happy for you to have found peace 🔥💪
Thank you, I'm still on a journey to seek peace, but I think i'm getting closer than I was back then. Hope you are doing well, and also making time to prioritize yourself. Take care!
You’re so adorable, relatable and insightful. Lucky guy who gets you!
thank you for your kind words 🙏
How do you know he's gay? I'm not saying it's a bad thing but I'm so confused? Great video though
Thank you for sharing your story!
thanks for watching!
thank you for sharing your story. it means a lot for those people who have the same experience and feeling.
Thanks for watching! Hope you're doing well!
Hey Andrew, thanks for sharing your experience.
I recently joined a very big (and very old) corporation as an engineer (wannabe software dev) and am incredibly frustrated by the corporate culture. I think I'm currently at an early career phase you discussed in your video - eager and ambitious to get something done. Even though the work is not terribly stressful (I just wish it was more relevant to what I want to do in the future... I'm stuck staring at excel spread sheets most days...), I feel like my ego is inducing unnecessary pressure on me to do more.I feel stuck and miserable, but I also do not want the opposite where I am ground to dust and burned out...
Watching your video has given me much insight on being kinder to myself, and I'll do my best to be mindful of my mental health. I can't imagine doing this job for the rest of my life, and I am in the process of trying to discover my life's purpose and drive.
Looking forward to your next update!
hey Drew, hope you're doing well. I think it's important to have hobbies outside of your job, and not let the job itself be your identity. One of the things I've learned is that no matter how good a job is, it is simply just that, a job. The more emotionally invested (passionate) you become, the more resentment you will potentially build as well. Perhaps you can leverage this enthusiasm to work on side projects in your spare time. That way you will still grow in the direction you seem fit for you, at your own pace. I like reading comments like these because it gives me idea about what I can share from my journey to help others, so thanks for your comment! And good luck with everything, while tech can be stressful, there are still good things to be learned and take away, I have zero regrets having worked in tech despite the burnout. Remember to be kind to yourself ❤️
Definitely can relate here as well. I had a total mental breakdown with a job a few years ago but actually ended up being laid off.
Turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me and incredibly grateful that it did
hey there, so happy to hear you're in a better place now! Everything happens for a reason, thanks for your comment. Hope you continue to do well and be kind to yourself, life is too short. take care! ❤️
I was a corporate engineer who changed careers several years ago, so feel it there. Actually loved my job, at least as a craft, but couldnt deal with the corporate atmosphere, lack of work/life balance, and social scene. Ended up resigning and starting a new career elsewhere. Great to see a new channel come up, I'm also a finance and careers channel as well, so just subbed to yours!
hey Kevin, happy that you could relate! Hope you were able to find a good balance since leaving corporate. So happy for you and your journey, continue being awesome ❤️
Which career did you take after switching?
I can totally relate to you and your situation. I am in the similar place, software engineer, mid 20s, but already been working for over 6 years as SW engineer. I also work on my own side projects on the side of my full-time job and it's getting out of hand now. And I have a really strong feeling that I cannot do this anymore - working for a company, I just don't enjoy it. I really see myself going full-time working on my side projects that already generate some money and pursue this journey. I can always come back to work if this won't work out.
hey Maroš, love what you said about "I can always come back to work if this won't work out" ☺️. I'm glad you have side projects and especially ones that is generating an income. Good luck on your journey, best of luck, take care and always be kind to yourself!
Good stuff - thanks for sharing!
This is so relatable. I quit software development last year for similar reasons and it's taken a while to feel motivated to do anything. Feeling better day by day and trying to make up for the lost time by traveling and feeling okay with doing nothing some days. I know you said doing silent vlogs is your thing but I would be really interested to hear more about that transition period and how you manage living in a hustle culture while being essentially retired. Cheers!
hey there, I'm happy that you did what's right for you, and feeling better! It's going to take some time to get your mojo back, it wasn't until sometime last year that I finally felt good enough to start doing things (at my own pace). It's a rollercoaster of emotions, from lack of motivation, resentment, anger, etc. but please don't need to rush things and let the journey play out, and keep doing you. Also I will definitely put that topic into consideration in future content, thanks for your comment. Take care, be kind to yourself!
I’m also a millennial trying to figure this out! We’ve got to support one another! I just posted my first video. It was so scary, but your video is inspiring. Thank you!
Thank you, Andrew for such an insightful video. Tech is a solid career track and pays great but is not for everyone (especially in light of how the tech / dev culture has been shaped e.g. daily stand meetings, sprint retros and more). Essentially routine events to create pressure and trigger anxiety stemming out of FLAWED corp strategy thinking more will get done using such tactics.
Hey Shawn, for sure. Tech is often seen as a lucrative career path, while true, the trade off to getting that pay check is often overlooked and is definitely not for everyone. There's so much "tech scene/corporate programming" that's in my mind/behaviour that I'm still working towards recognizing. Hopefully can share some more of that in future videos with you guys! Hope you're doing well.
It’s so sad that teachers and educators don’t tell people that software development is 99% social and 1% code
Man, thanks for sharing this part of your journey! I'm 31, also a dev and feeling a lot of what you described (i didnt even know if i could put it all in words as you did). I think I might be going to my 2nd burnout and it's so scary. But you gave me some peace by telling about your recovery process and I wanna say thanks for that! Feeling a little better already and more optimistic to deal with all of this. See ya!
hey Guilherme, you're definitely not alone, before this massive burnout episode, I had a few smaller ones during my career (with a dose of "quarter-life-crisis"). Glad you're feeling hopeful about the future, work is just a means to live, sometimes being a dev we forget about the journey and focus only on the results. Take care, and be kind to yourself ❤️
I really like the part „I didn’t know how I would get references once I want to get started again… but I didn’t care at that point“.
Totally can relate. What was a horrible experience though was that my parents would be more worried about my ongoing career instead of me and my current situation. So often you also have to go through those situations on your own, as others don’t understand the severity of the situation.
hey Markus, I agree, others won't understand how bad it can get and what it's like if they've never been in that position. It's also very sad that most people in our society nowadays associate "money/career" with happiness and wellness. But when the pursue of more money in this rat race is making us miserable and sick, that's not living at all, what's more money at that point? But back to your point, that's something that people will eventually realize, or not. I hope they do, before death come knocking on their doors unexpectedly. Hope you're doing well, take care!
Thank you. I got laid off earlier this month and I felt relieved. It felt wrong but after some weeks, I now realized I am mentally, physically, and emotionally at the bottom. I'm going through the emotions: shame, guilt, doubt, anxiety, and disappointment. I am exhausted and rot in bed most days.
I did break down a few days ago and hopefully I'll come out the other side soon. Your video popped up today and it gives me hope. Thank you.
hey Eve, sorry to hear about your layoff, but as you feelings might suggest, maybe it's a blessing in disguise 🙂. Take the time you need to heal and recover. I can promise you once you get through it, and process through it you'll come out feeling like an upgraded human being. Life is short, we shouldn't let work define our identities or us as a person. Try not to fight those emotions you're feeling, because every single of them is your body communicating with you, to help you process it all (like the Disney movie Inside Out). Be kind to yourself, take care ❤️
Don't feel bad about it. I just quit my tech job this morning, too. I have over 20 years in the space, started with a new company about 2 months ago. tons of red flags that I ignored in the beginning because the money was supposed to be good, and I thought I'd be learning new skills. But...then we got the speech about the company needing to cut costs, and possible layoffs coming this summer (i.e. in a couple of months). I figured it's best not to stick around and get laid off. Thankfully, I still have a good relationship with my previous (now current) boss, who was able to find a place for me back at my prior place of employment.
hey Neal, ya I've been hearing many tech layoffs more and more. But happy to hear that you were able to go back to your previous employer! Hope you're doing well, best of luck!
Thank you so very much for sharing your story. I am much older but man the way things are managed these days, is so draining So many people are clueless oh how stressful work environments can be. It was so vastly different when I entered the work force. I have just taken a year off. I feel like a person again.❤
hey Marjorie, I'm so happy that took some time off to take care of yourself, and that you're feeling like a person again! I know exactly what you mean by that, and it's a breath of fresh air. So happy for you, keep doing you, and continue to be kind to yourself ❤️
@andrewxu Thank you so much for your reply. Best wishes to you in creating a great life and value. I hope you love what you do. Be well.
thank you for sharing. I also had similiar experience, I had constant shoulder pain and couldn't sleep at night. and that's when I knew I had to submit my resignation.
Samuel I'm so happy to hear that you listened to your body and did the right thing! I hope your shoulder pain is better now, and mentally in a much better space. Take care! ❤️
I've went through the same thing as well (minus the "not giving notice"). I listened to my body and had to leave. My mental health thanked me. I'm also happy I was not the only one that left a job because of stress. In my 20s/30s I would usually have something lined up as well but as stress grew, my body can't take it anymore.
Hey David, I’m so happy for you! Glad you’re doing better. Take care!
I also changed to two different jobs during the pandemic. It was stressful! I can resonate with this.
I like this video. Thank you for making it. I like what you said that "minimalism for me is not minimalism for you".
hey there, glad you enjoyed it, less is more, in various ways for many ☺️
Hi Andrew! Glad to have found your channel. I am in the middle of the same thing. I quit 4 months due to burn-out and sought therapy. I am still looking to put in another few more years in the same domain area (same role, different industry), to boost my savings before I reconsider my trajectory completely. Thanks for sharing!
hey there, so happy to hear you did what's right for you and focus on your health! Seems like you have yourself a solid plan, best of luck! Keep being kind to yourself ❤️
I had a similar experience. I was in the construction engineering field for 17 years. Then had a relationship breakup, that really devastated my mental being. Add in the fact that I saw the company moral getting worse, and as a result, told myself its either now or never, and decided to quit my job. All this happened exactly when the pandemic happened in April 2020. Funny thing is when I quit during that week, that's when everyone had to start working from home. Took 2 years and just learned a bunch of new things. Those 2 years, I learned so much more about myself, and it really heightened my awareness. I learned, its about who you work for, and who you are surrounded with, the "feel goods" for the company. If we are not appreciated somewhere, there is always another person or company that will appreciate you.
hey Kev, that's amazing, I'm so happy to hear you are in a better place now. I totally agree, this journey is so enlightening to help us understand more about ourselves, our needs, and life in general. Keep doing you and be kind to yourself, best of luck on your journey! ❤️
I appreciate this video and your perspective on simple living esp coming from a high income field! I feel v validated
Glad it was helpful! Hope you're doing well.
It's very relaxing to listen to your story Andrew, life is too short, the job is just a part of that, it's not everything in this life.
thanks for your kind words! hope you're doing well, and prioritizing life over work :). take care!
Thanks for sharing your story. I was let go this year due to the RIF; although I was not burned out per se, I also put a lot of pride in my work. I rarely took vacations ( not proud of it at all), and work is a central part of my self-identity, which makes the experience challenging. I agree with putting the self-care as the top priority and giving myself the space to unpack it. Subscribed to your channel and wish you all the best!
hey there, thanks for your comment, I hope things are working out for you now and that you're in a better mental space. Life is short, and we are much more than just what we do for work. Work to live, and live authentically ourselves. Best of luck, take care ❤️
Good job Andrew! Be kind to yourself is the key! ❤
hey Jill it's been a while! Thank you and hope you're doing well!
@@andrewxu I am doing well. I've learned how to balance life 😂. Still deal with politics (inevitable), but I'm pretty zen 🥳
that's amazing!! I'm so happy for you!
Our mental health is very important. We are all replaceable at jobs, whether we believe it or not. I’m glad you did what was best for you.
Absolutely agree. As much as companies try their best to make us feel we are "part of a community/family", we are just cog in the wheel. When push comes to shove, every single one of us are replaceable. Thanks for your comment, hope you're doing well and also putting you and your health first!
Thanks for sharing. This year, I feel like I'm truly out of the burnout phase and ready to start living again. I don't know exactly but it feels like it has taken 2 years to heal. In-between this, I actually changed jobs, so I never exactly stopped working during the recovery phase but I took it slow. The thing that made it easier was during my job interview for my current job, I talked about the importance of looking after myself and other colleagues (I can't remember the question) and now that I'm in the job, they really do promote work/life balance. Don't get me wrong, it's busy but knowing that they care about you makes a world of a difference. I also just want to state working out has been a massive stress reliever and something I have to do at least twice a week otherwise I don't feel right!
hey Judy, really glad to hear you're doing well and found what works for you. Keep being kind to yourself and always prioritize yourself, take care ❤️
The problem is greed for power or more money without spiritual satisfaction which becomes an unquenchable earthly desire. There's a job for everyone that satisfies with no stress. Personally I enjoy not climbing the ranks. I'm happy as a developer even in my 40's. Management is not everyone's calling. Matthew 6:26-27 "26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? 27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?"
Love your video and specially your quitting story as a thirty something year old, in the same boat here! I am 34 and I quit my Big Tech job late last year on account of severe burnout . Thanks so much for making this video☺️
hey there, I think most people see big tech as a glamorous job with high salaries and lots of perks, while true, I also think most also don't know how toxic and mentally draining it is. I'm glad you're taking time for yourself, hope you are doing well, take care!
@@andrewxuThanks so much😊 you too take care and keep creating! Loved your very real and authentic take. Looking forward to many more!
Thank you for making this video.
thanks for watching. hope you're doing well!
I was telling my colleague on my last day of work last Friday, "Why could we study so much (for postgraduate) and never learn how to live a life simply and be contented, but instead we strived and worked till we dropped? We thought we could live a better life getting high pay and doing professional work, but instead we became a slave to work. Tech, teaching, design, UX, Research... I've tried them, and I gave up on them all from that day. It's not worth paying my life to, professional work. I want to live frugally like you do.
Hey Miraiyuki, happy to hear that you also prefer the simpler way of life! Sometimes we get so lost and unhappy chasing after more, going through the motions of the hedonic treadmill and rat race thinking that "I'll be happy when..", only to realize time is ticking away in life. Hope you're doing well, best of luck on your journey to find peace! ❤️
@@andrewxu Thank you Andrew!
Thank you for sharing. As a senior software engineer, I can totally resonate with your experience in the past. I've been considering time off myself. Good luck!
hey there, thanks watching, hope you're doing well. I hope you can take that time off, a sabbatical or something, because life is short, and if you have the means to it, I highly recommend it! Take care!
@@andrewxu Thank you! Yes, I'm thinking of saving up more funds to take a sabbatical, but I feel like I want to make more and prepare for rainy days. I think finances are the most common reason for most people to take a break. Looking forward to see your future videos!
I rarely if ever comment. You are wise beyond your years. I am so very happy for you. I’m on the journey towards minimalism and a simpler life. This is the first video I see from you but not the last! I just subscribed. Yeah I foresee you making it big and you deserve it.
hey Marilyn, thank you for your kind words! Hope you're doing well, and good luck on your journey towards a simpler life too. Wish you all the peace and contentment! Take care!
I’m a total introvert.. I’m happy never leaving my apartment or never seeing a human being! Humans are draining and the worse
I understand you 100%. I'm currently in the process of "reacclimatize" myself to humans lol. People can be draining at times, and if you are put into an environment with toxic people, that's no bueno and you'll eventually associate people with negative experiences (which is probably what we both have in common). But I'm starting to learn that people is also necessary to live a healthy and happy life, through community, and supportive, understanding close group of friends. This is something I'm working towards, undoing those damages, including the traumas we've had as a child that led us to associate people with negative experiences. ❤️
Thank you so much this is really helpful
hey, glad you found it helpful!
I hope you don’t have any regrets from it. More people should have the courage to do this!
Absolutely zero regrets. Hope you're doing well.
Damn bro, I resonate with you 100%, I’m also a software engineer and I really hate on call. I am also very frugal and I’m giving myself at most 2 years before I quit my corporate life. Currently 3 years into my engineer journey and I have to say the amount of responsibility is getting heavier and even during my off days I feel tired. Cheers
hey Weihan, I'm glad to hear that you have a plan. Life is so much more, and I hope that the freedom you are working towards can get you through the next few years. In the mean time, be kind to yourself ❤️
So, ill maybe reach out in a couple of weeks as a different channel, but I wanted to at least say thank you for this. I am experiencing severe burnout in my tech life. And I am beginning my recovery journey this year. UA-cam recommended this video and I picked up my phone and am going to journal my own road to recovery after burnout.
Just wanted to say thank you and Ill be shouting you out when I begin my channel.
I needed this
hey there, remember to be kind to yourself and take the time you need. It's going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions, but day by day you'll get better and feel alive again, that I can promise you. Best of luck, take care, you are enough, you are doing your best, and that's all it matters. ❤️
@@andrewxu much appreciated!
you take care of you as well.
So glad you broke away! I have had bosses that literally made me cry! I was ON THEIR TEAM! Working as hard as I could and they would SCREAM at me!!! Narcissism is rampant in the higher echelons!
hey there, thank you, and I hope you got away from a toxic environment/boss as well, being treated the way you described is not ok. Hope you're doing ok! Take care!
Some workplaces are better than others but some issues are common to all. Make your money, try to detach emotionally from work and all the drama/issues and get out when you can. After experiencing burnout a few times, I have adopted the mentally of the independent contractor at my salaried jobs. It helps me let some of the stress roll off and not care too much about what’s happening with work politics.
I think that's a great mindset to have! Happy you found a way to make it work for you. Take care!
awesome bro. focus on your happiness.
hey Thinh, 100%. Hope you are too!
Love the video. I was similar to you but in the construction industry. Glad I wasn't the only one feeling that way. I wanted to climb the corporate ladder as quickly as possible but it backfired causing me to burn out. I just recently recovered and back to work but now have a different outlook in life and learn to find the balance.
hey David, I'm glad you're recovered and have a different outlook in life! It's all about finding that balance, life is short. A lovely elderly couple I ran into (by fate I think) taught me a life lesson that I constantly remind myself even now: "There's no need to rush, we'll get there eventually". To me, this means that life is short, and we'll all end up in that same place sooner or later, rather than rushing to this inevitable "ending", enjoy it while we still can with good health. You can find an image I took with them on my video about "how taking sabbaticals changed my life" if you're curious! Hope you're doing well, be kind to yourself!
Love your vibe and relate so much to your story. I have worked as a software designer and product manager for the past decade-ish as an independent contractor and consultant. This past summer I wrapped up the projects I was on and "left the tech industry". I had a similar experience as you where it felt like the most insane and yet the most sane decision to make. I started a business in the gardening industry specifically to take things easier and live a healthier lifestyle. Staring at computers all day long thinking about computers all day long is no way for this human to live. I rather poke around in the dirt. Can't wait for more of your new content. You have already inspired me by showing me how powerful it is to share burn out stories with others. Thank you!
hey Adrienne, thanks for your comment. I'm so happy for you, truly! I also wanted to do something like that, move to a smaller town, start a simple life, gardening etc. But I'm not a big fan of bugs haha 😂 so not very realistic for me, maybe one day. But happy you did it though! And I agree, sometimes it's these simple things, mundane, basic activities that makes us feel alive. Life can be simple and happy. Hope you're doing well, take care! ❤️
my gf needs to hear this, I'll send this to her and I hope it helps, thank you for sharing.
Thanks for watching, hope this can help her. Best of luck!
I have around 10 years of experience in tech..started as software engineer and slowly moved into product management (always thought this is what I wanted) but soon I realised that product management is too stressful for me.
I am currently trying to navigate through that stress but haven't yet quit my job..the company I work for is on its downfall and hence a lot of politics and chaos and my manager is never happy or satisfied with what I do. I can so much relate to the mental and physical health part you are talking about.
I am planning to talk to my managers to put me in a less stressful project (not sure if it's gonna work) :/
hey Anshika, sorry to hear about your situation. Hope it works out for you, please take care, and be kind to yourself ❤️
@@andrewxu Thank you Andrew.
Thanks for sharing, i have the same issues, low energy and degrading. health. Constantly stressed and anxious is likely why but im scared to quit... and i don't want to apply to another job or company.
I'm sorry to hear that, quitting is definitely a very scary thing to do, and also very personal because of financial responsibilities etc. I hope you can take some vacation days or sick days to self-care, because out of all the demands and deadlines, YOU are the most important so try to remember that. Take care! ❤️
Thank you@@andrewxu Could you make a video about you handle finances when you decided quit with no other income? Like how much savings did you feel was needed to feel 'safe' to quit. I have enough savings to survive a year or so but i'm just not confident that is enough, especially given this crazy economy of unpredictable cost increases and job market that some people say they are not able to get a job even after a year of applying. Hearing all these things make me very hesitant to consider taking a sabbatical.
hey there, I think "how much you need" varies from person to person. Everyone have different financial responsibilities and obligations. I actually have taken 2 long sabbaticals myself, first one (at 24) was for ~4 months (no back up plans, barely any savings), second one (at 29) was ~2 months (and the company I worked for at the time agreed to an unpaid time off). I'll definitely consider making a video to talk more about this in the future ☺️. I try to live by "money you can always make back, time lost will never come back". Best of luck, take care!
Thanks for sharing it. ✌️
Thanks for watching!
Your story does resonate reasonably to me. For me, I quite like my job despite the challenges and get along very well with my team, and I count myself very lucky that my Manager is very considerate and smart and professional.
hey Hadi, that sounds like a great place to be! Hope you're doing well, take care!
@andrewxu Thank you for the kind words. Take care, too :)
The pandemic was an excellent time to travel. Offroading and camping in a four wheel drive is as social distancing as you can get. Moab, Utah was unforgettable. One way to slow down your life away from tech is move to a small town. That's what I did.
Thank you for sharing your story Andrew! I relate to this so much. Take one day at a time and give yourself grace everyone. Wishing everyone peace and better days to come. 🤎🙏🏾🌿
Glad you could relate! Better days WILL come, be kind to yourself, take care ❤️
I definitely see a younger version of myself in you. Thanks for sharing; it can feel really isolating. You're such a cutie!
hey Rife, thanks for your kind words, hope you're doing well!