Why Infidelity Is So Painful To The Betrayed Spouse
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- Why Infidelity Is So Painful To The Betrayed Spouse
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OMG. Hearing that Point #5 is so very true. Seeing cherished photos and thinking that at those times something was going on......just so painful....people don't understand.
Point #5: I found out about my husband’s affair a week before our 29th wedding anniversary. You’re right. Everything is subject to re-evaluation now. The last 6 years has been a futile lesson in how recovery should not go. He’s continued to lie, avoid, omit, defend, placate, make excuses, and do the opposite of all the books, videos, classes and counseling has told him to do to save the “marriage”. He has no concept of compassion, remorse (except for himself), making amends or restitution in any form. I’ve had lots of time to think about the damage he’s done to me, my life, my past, present and future and his failure to help me heal. I’ve built a life with him and that constitutes half of my life. The only reality I have at this point is my choices were stolen and I’m left with his debris to deal with. I’m retired and turning 71 years old this month. I don’t have many options. I watched your series on “Why are you still here?” (which was excellent). My answer was I’m still trying to get the whole truth and I’m looking for a reason to stay. I have innumerable reasons to leave. I’ve been trying to discover who this man really is that I’ve loved for almost 35 years and was any of it real. I don’t have any answers. What I did discover is, I’m done. I’m just going to focus on my healing because he hasn’t offered any help in that area. I’m tired of going in circles among the ruins. We’ve done a formal disclosure in therapy and I still don’t believe I have the whole truth. The first 2 1/2 years of our “recovery”, I grilled him up one side and then the other and even though he could see me suffering, I couldn’t get the truth out of him. I asked him to swear on the blood of Jesus that he told me everything. Without a second’s thought, he swore! That’s when I knew he was lying! Within the month he was diagnosed with pneumonia and skin cancer! That convinced me that I was right about his lying. On Father’s Day 2020, he confessed that there was more! That was another nuclear bomb for me. I haven’t been able to recover from all of those lies and I still don’t believe I have the whole truth. His behaviors have been lack luster, halfhearted, full of excuses, and just don’t match his words. For my own sanity, all I can be is done! Thank you, Danielle for the emphasis you put on the destruction that cheating does to the life you thought you had and the person you thought you knew. I believe I wasted 35 years of my life because he has failed to “show up” for any “recovery” to take place. I don’t know IF I can heal because I don’t think I will be able to trust anyone ever again.
Your points are so valid!!! Thank you.
So True ty. So happy your back
Caribbean archipelago...
Sent the link 😃