Hey there, I am the guy who posted about how I’m struggling with everything at 19. The thing I like the most about Dr. K is that he actually understands a lot of societal problems that plays a role in mental health struggles rather than just giving google advice like “just keep trying” he sees it differently and even acknowledged that simply just people to keep trying and hope for the best is not good advice and could actually lower your confidence is success is low. That’s what’s been happening with me. I’ve been told to just keep trying which I have been doing but I still have had no luck and it’s damaged my confidence a lot. In fact what led me to writing that post was that I received a rejection from a position from Target which I actually felt confident about getting and it stung. I heard it’s the job market too since someone has been declined from McDonald’s. It’s very harsh out there and I feel a lot of stress from it. Thank you Dr. K for sharing this and trying to understand my point of view, really made my day
I was unemployed with undiagnosed ADHD and unhealed childhood trauma and it was rejection hell for years. I didn't even know what I didn't know about how job searching is supposed to go. I didn't know you needed cover letters and once you get to an interview how to be socially adept enough to get hired. I didn't even apply for many jobs because job searching was ADHD hell and I was addicted to everything else on the internet instead. Dr K was rejected from 140 medical schools i think he said. But something eventually clicked and all you need is one place to accept you/ hire you for everything in your life from that point forward to change. If you can figure out why McDonald's and Target might've rejected you -- you seem overqualified on your resume or you lack social skills etc and try to fix that issue for the next time you apply to another place, or if you play more of a numbers game and acknowledge the hard work of applying to 10 different local fast food chains and getting rejected by all of them but it did the work to try your best and apply, and you learned from the experience of doing the resume and getting some interviews and from there you think you'll be more prepared for the next 10 and you keep going, eventually one of them will accept you. And you can learn from the job and be so much more skilled the next time you apply somewhere else. Volunteer work can also be amazing on your resume and amazing at helping you build so many skills and they often have a lower bar for accepting people vs rejecting them than jobs. They'll take every volunteer they can get a lot of places. Things got way better for me eventually. I'm not saying new, different obstacles didn't cross my path. But things can change all at once if you keep giving life opportunities to help you out. Your luck can turn around. Your skills can improve. Etc. My apologies if this seems like a "just keep trying" advice thing. I hope my comments are more nuanced than that. Try something else. Don't keep trying the same thing. And like Dr K said, don't just ignore how it feels harder and harder. You have to approach it differently.
Hey man, I graduated college in 2008 with a 2.2 GPA. Economic recession coupled with my very poor academic choices gave me little options in the open market. I made a hard choice to join the Army as a college option OCS candidate. What that means is that I had to go through Basic Training at Ft. Benning with the other infantry entry candidates, go through another 12-week OCS course to earn my commission. It was the greatest blessing in disguise because it gave me goals to elevate myself to. Each gateway I passed on my military journey was just that. It was difficult, but not un-achievable. I say this because my path may not be yours, but everyone needs to have goals in their life they can achieve that elevate themselves to the person they need to be to not only reach them, but also earn the rewards. You have the power and capability to define your path in life. Building your physical and mental resiliency is paramount to that success. You’re never alone when you walk with God. Even if you struggle like me with my faith every day, acting as if God exists has worked out for me and I hope it can be for you. God Bless and I hope this message finds you well.
@ntxsirenvators8983 Wishing you all the best and strength brother! Thank you for taking the inspiring first step of making this honest and vulnerable post.
*Intro & Housekeeping:* 4:17 *Understanding Fatalism in the Community:* - *Community Feedback and Ownership:* 19:48 - *Addressing Negativity and Rejection of Help:* 22:16 *Case Study 1 - "Please Convince Me to Have Hope":* 23:19 - *The Need for Hope and the Desire to Live:* 26:59 - *The Energy Investment in a "Worthless Life":* 31:44 - *Recognizing the Drive to Improve:* 32:16 - *The Importance of Critical Thinking:* 35:21 - *Identifying Contradictions in Thought Processes:* 39:26 - *Understanding Help-Rejecting Systems:* 41:49 - *The Power of Being the Problem:* 43:35 - *Mental Karma - The Importance of Mental Actions:* 46:19 - *Responding to Impulses and Desires:* 53:51 - *The World Isn't Against You, But It May Have Been:* 55:18 - *Changing Your Response to Circumstances:* 57:53 - *Seeking Sustained Help and Support:* 59:43 *Case Study 2 - "Life is a Huge Disappointment":* 1:06:31 - *The Snowball Effect of Success and Failure:* 1:08:14 - *The Futility of "Just Keep Trying":* 1:10:45 - *"If At First You Don't Succeed, Try It a Different Way":* 1:12:58 - *The Increasing Rate of Rejection in Modern Life:* 1:16:12 - *Focusing on Improvement, Not Outcomes:* 1:22:51 - *Perception is Reality - Control Your Inputs:* 1:30:59 - *Set Yourself Up for a Better Tomorrow:* 1:34:28 *Case Study 3 - "How to Feel Good About Myself":* 1:37:58 - *The Impact of Controlling Parents:* 1:39:14 - *The Cycle of Pushing and Atrophy:* 1:45:05 - *Taking Responsibility and Tolerating Disappointment:* 1:47:53 - *The Power of Compassion and Firm Boundaries:* 1:51:26 *Self-Improvement as a Burden:* - *The Limitations of Self-Help Content:* 2:04:31 - *The Importance of Action and Investment:* 2:06:45 - *Investing in Yourself - Time, Energy, and Resources:* 2:09:34 - *The Value of Suffering for Improvement:* 2:11:53 - *Finding Balance and Prioritizing Your Own Needs:* 2:42:54 *Closing Thoughts and Q&A:* - *Prioritizing Internal Change and Externalization:* 2:35:48 - *The Importance of External Perspectives:* 2:38:22 - *Using Suffering as a Resource for Growth:* 2:49:51 - *Thank You and Closing Remarks:* 2:52:58
Can we please all take a minute to appreciate the fuck out of what this man is doing, not only is he educating us, he is giving us advice and giving us clues as to how we can learn to be better versions of ourselves no matter our personality or personnal issues. People fucking need this shit! Even if they didn't care about understanding the people around them, they still be better off understanding more about themselves. With all my respect, thank you
Thank you for making this video! Please make more content on people feeling "fucked" or lost in life. This resontates with me a lot and is the content I need and would like to see from healthygamer.
I feel like so many of our problems are rooted or merely exist becoz of a certain family member. It’s like we had this person we expected would be our safe space but instead they chose to wreck havoc in our life than actually respect our beliefs our trying to understand us. Today’s my birthday and seeing how my parents haven’t even acknowledged it is internally welling up tears in me, although I refuse to let other people’s behaviours overrule my emotional well being, it’s still something that lingers. Had all of us a deep connection with even one of our parents, I’m pretty sure 90% of our problems would either not exist, or would have very little damage on our mental and physical well being.
Unfortunately, it's not that simple. I have decent connection with my father and good connection with my mother, and I still have mental health problems and NEET lifestyle. Messy place the human mind is...
The way I integrate your content is to write things/concepts you say that stands out to me and write about it in my journal. I also talk about certain things you say that strikes a chord w me to my therapist.
I am a 29 y.o. woman from a non-english speaking country, indifferent to videogames, conventionally attractive and happily married. I may not be your target audience, but I had a very long term depression, once I was volunteerly hospitalized and one psychiatrist shared the link to Doctor K's video about fixing sleep schedule. I follow this channel for a year and what I learnt is helping me a lot, I try to practice this in life not just watch. Thank you, Doctor and good luck to all of the community in making our lives better and healthier
"one psychiatrist shared the link to Doctor K's video" - That's cool :) Yeah, the naming of this channel is a bit unfortunate. It's purely a historical legacy at this point. Dr. K has since expanded his efforts to all kinds of mental health challenges, not just gaming addiction.
Thank you for saying it can be terminal instead of being toxically positive. There's a big difference between saying "don't lose hope, it's gonna get better" and "yes it sucks, but there's still hope".
Something I think about often when watching Dr. K's videos is how many of these struggles with mental health would exist today if today's young adult population had the same socioeconomic mobility and stability as older generations had at the same age. For the proverbial older person who says they had it just as rough-go look up median housing prices: median income ratios over time. Not to mention the fact that everything from an academic and professional standpoint has gotten order of magnitudes more competitive. For example, I have a relative who is in their late-30s who is an anesthesiologist. They told me (though hesitantly) that they likely would not have been able to match into the same specialty given the level of competition there is today compared to just around a decade ago. It seems like we're all working more and more for less and less, and you just have to think there has to be a point of critical mass.
I agree with you completely! And, I know for me, focusing on how fucked our system is, makes taking action to improve my life feel pointless. However, pretending everything is fine with where our current society is headed is delusional. I'm not sure how to reconcile these two things.
@@Hexanitrobenzeneit ain't supported by data. It a political speech, not scientific. He basically pulls graphs out of his ass and never defines his categories (like a generation) or control groups.
My self-imposed rule is that I only put self-help videos on when I'm doing work of some kind. Cleaning, cooking, walking, doesn't matter - I just can't let myself sit on the couch and watch content like this.
Why self help videos tho? This self help shit isnt useful imo unless you are actively listening and making changes in your lives/thinking. Dr k even says this in this very stream lol
I feel f***ed by this: I was abducted in addiction, and escaped and got sober. So I figured that was clearly the worst behind me, like that was my life’s big f***ed challenge and I would finally be able to use my [pretty f***ing amazing] brain for something other than getting, using and getting more drugs. Instead, after 6 months of being aware I was in severe shock, I started experiencing severe dissociation, dissociative fugues, daily amnesia, and losing time- 5 hours a day on average but sometimes up to three days. My brain that had done me so well in surviving a decade+ of the insane internal war and the excruciating external consequences of addiction was a stranger to me. Or should I say strangers, because a month or two into this new experience of myself, I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I lost my fiancé, friends, family, my fortitude and how full of life I was… and a left with the exact sentiment you’re addressing here: I’m fucked. Somehow I still have managed to circumnavigate the temptation of falling back into drugs and the bouts of severe depression that accompanied the more severe episodes I experienced early on. But that was SIX YEARS AGO. I have always had through the roof ADHD, been too smart for my own good and struggled with true vulnerability necessary for healing… but not only have those things led to some serious maladaptive mechanisms of the mind and behaviours, now I’m in my early 30s with no job, no friends, no romantic prospects (because why would I force myself like half baked bread down someone’s throat under the guise of sustenance for a relationship, I know I need quite a bit more time in the oven before I’m capable of offering that) and no real life. I was nothing like this before. So yeah, “f***ed” sounds about right. I’m just starting watching, so I will comment if anything piques my interest as a tool I could use because I’m nothing if not motivated to move forward… but hopelessness colours much of my world these days. I’m not depressed (we all have our days) and I refuse to give up, but I’m just… feeling fucked. Seems like the stream was ruled perfectly because I can’t truly encompass it more succinctly than that. Thank you for reading and my heart goes out to anyone else feeling this sentiment, regardless of why and what your life looks like… your feelings are valid and we all deserve a little compassion and help sometimes. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.
Feel like I wrote this. Literally almost word for word the exact same story with me. Except we never actually got engaged ... You are not alone, whatever that may be worth. 💝
Yeah was completely obvious to me too (even though it doesn't apply to me)... But I've been watching this channel for a while so might be I'm just used to their style. I didn't even get what the misunderstanding was at first.
The correspondent is right about "the whole world being against him," in the sense Doc K describes -- advertising and entertainment and many cultural values are set up to tell you you are not enough, you are a loser, you are not making enough money, you don't have the right motivation, you don't value the right things, you don't belong to the right religion . . . etc. Also, you may have not been given a good start, good training, good support at a crucial time in your life. And it is absolutely true that, in that case, you will have a very hard time creating a stable life. So . . .what I do, for what is worth, is dismiss all these "training experiences" that were actually designed to manipulate me. I stopped watching television (especially television news -- I know how to research well [not go down conspiracy rabbit holes]). Next, I created my own particular value/desire. I'm a professional writer, so I know that writer's block is cured by lowering your expectations because you know the secret to writing is rewriting. Same in life. The "rough draft" is rough and full of misspellings and detours and so on. You will have to rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. And it will get better every time. Keep it small, because the desire to make it large is mostly cultural manipulation and we've already determined that is bad for us. Celebrate every tiny step at least as hard as you've been celebrating disaster.
I’m 19 too and boy am I grateful for yall bc my family situation just got more complicated and my samskaras started beating my ass to a pulp at work yesterday
30:51 oh wow this reminds me of an episode of M*A*S*H! A soldier was trying to commit suicide; Sherman T Potter prove to him that he wanted to live by forcing him in a fight with the gas meant to knock someone out.. The guy panicked and Potter off and had his fists up. And that's when the colonel told him "that's the spirit! That's the part of you that wants to live now hold on to that!"
I love going to the library. Started it recently. Most times I'm not that productive and sometimes I read a bit. Still better than sitting behind my PC at home.
Personal Note: 1:51:55 this is important. I am not a kid anymore. Whenever I am in the presence of my emotion such as intense fear. I lost sight that I am an adult. I also lost sight of time. The fear makes me feel that I am 6 years old under the pressure of my parents. Either I survive with my parents or living in the streets. that was my biggest fear. Now I am living in the street of my own using my own money but the fear of my own little me. I need to train my awareness that I am an adult. 2:00:15 yeah. that makes sense. Whenever I am interested with someone, my body response was just to run away to safety. The safety of being alone and not in the presence of someone that I am interested in. The interest is paired with the fear. the fear is being taught from my mom that having my own desire is dangerous because my mom projected her dissatisfaction of her life to me. My desires will be interpreted as a roadblock for other to achieve her "success" through me because if I don't become what she wants, that is not align with her definition of success. 2:02:37 this statement hits so hard. I have time and resources now. 2:36:40 when I am thinking. I am not recruiting sensory into consideration. My data is incomplete. 2:38:02 separate out generative and critical thinking. When I am generating, it won't be critical. when I am critical, I won't generate anything.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve been excluded from so much of the things that make up fundamental aspects of being a human living in human civilization. All the little acts of kindness and subtle shows of respect and appreciation people have for each other, the compassion that underlines so many things, just doesn’t seem to be there. I’ve seen other people experience the best things life has to offer, and it just makes me feel even worse.
1:09:30 interesting anecdotal advice about how long it takes. Half the time 1:54:03 love this jutsu 2:01:42 SOO TRUEE DR K SO TRUEE 2:22:10-2:27:30 love this rant 2:35:49 great practical advise about externalization as a key component for critical thinking and self-improvement 2:43:13-2:44:01 yea i gotta work on this one 2:50:41 noted
Noone asked, but the place I'm in goes like this "everything that is or has been bad in my life is my fault, and I've never forgiven myself for it" self hate is rough, the longer it goes the stronger it gets...at this point it's stronger than the rest of me I recently took stock of things my self hate has cost me and it's a lot.... More than I can ever forgive myself for. Also doc is really hard selling the spending money on yourself....I quit therapy last week because it cost too much I guess I can't get anything right 😂
So extremely grateful for you, Dr. K! 60 years of age Woman here. Learning that I have experienced "destroyed autonomy" (CPTSD).You are helping me pick up the pieces. Thank You! 🙏 (I'm sad I missed the Adulting Challenge)
43:07 so what do we do when our suffering and bad mental state comes from a chronic illness? Not that one but in general. I’ve really been struggling with this since 17 (21 now) and the last thing I needed to hear when I’m already very depressed is that there’s not much I can do about it (and basically no hope).
Moving around a lot isn't listed in the main Adverse Childhood Experiences list... even death of a parent isn't listed there. they just have Divorced parents, parent goes to prison, parent with mental illness, parent with addiction, parent who abuses us, parent who is abused and we witness it, parent who neglects us.
Yeah, the ACEs list is pretty limited; tbh it was kinda early research and could use an update. Psych is a really young field, and trauma in particular is something society has historically cringed away from studying-read Judith Hermann's book Trauma and Recovery. We still don't have CPTSD in the DSM, which somewhat limits the research US scientists can undertake. Maybe once it catches up to the ICD-11, we'll be able to figure out a longer list of ACEs.
I really love how Dr K gives you the tools or the know how to make changes. I always struggled with i know i need to do this but i dont know how. And by watching 2 videos, i have a place to start. Thank you so much.
You have reached so much more than the gamer community…. I couldn’t be farther outside that group. I am so thankful for your work. And the fact that you are a medical psychiatrist- is truly unbelievable. If the profession is relevant, at all, in the near future- it will be because of people like you who offer tangible help. You, sir, are a .001%er. There is hope in the world.
I had a controlling, tiger mom who was very toxic and somewhat abusive in my childhood. I'm in my 30s now and even though shes not around anymore (may she rest in peace), the things she used to tell me turned into my inner voice towards myself so shes still controlling my life today even though shes not around. I have PTSD from my childhood and college. I don't think the setting boundaries technique at 1:58:36 would've worked against my mom. The reason is that I recall vividly in elementary school, she'd always threaten to kill herself while screaming at the top of her lungs while grabbing a knife from the knife drawer. She'd blame me for trying to end her life and calling me a bad son. This was always after she'd chase me down and beat me for either not getting straight A's in school or for disobeying her by visiting my cousins at their house. But I never got straight A's so this was always a common occurrence from ages 7-14.
2:25:18 "I just lost a game of DotA and the enemies are not ending, they are completely wasting my time, I'm aging and these fuckers don't end, my cell-my telomeres are getting shorter and I'm stuck here becuase they're not ending" I'm dying bro dr. K you are too real for this man💀💀
“If one person that you meet is an asshole, they’re the asshole. If everyone that you meet is an asshole - you’re the asshole.” Dr.K 2K24 😂😂😂 love this
Some notes I took: 18:10 First post 28:03 A patient who tried to commit suicide 7 times 31:45 having a worthless life requires a lot of energy investment 35:15 It's a problem of... critical thinking 39:30 start with the things that argue against your other beliefs 41:50 look at your "help rejecting system" 44:55 When someone proposes something to us, we insist that we are right instead of looking how other person could be right 46:25 95% of action that we take is in our mind 48:15 a lot of people who think they are weak willed... are not weak willed 51:30 "HIV of the mind" - when progress invokes negative emotions 54:12 28th annual conference on "How to F... you over" :) 55:25 the world dealing you a bad hand 56:50 Adverse childhood experiences 59:55 people usually need sustained help 1:03:36 psychoterapy is focused on pathology 1:06:34 Second post 1:08:14 wins in life compound 1:09:54 it takes about half the time you have been stuck to climb out 1:10:55 "just keep trying" is the most stupid advice for someone stuck 1:11:03 Dr. K went to military academy 1:13:50 Principle of positive deviance - duplicate successes, not failures 1:16:01 the rate of rejections is much higher these days 1:20:30 don't try to disprove your beliefs, alter the way you respond to them 1:22:00 Trying to convince people that their life is better than it is got weeded out from Dr. K ... 1:23:33 The right approach - "let's see what I can learn", "How can I do better?" 1:30:54 Perception is critical 1:34:29 Set yourself up for a better tomorrow 1:36:42 Hatred towrds humanity 1:37:55 Third post 1:39:46 One of the most terrible things one can do to children is to try to make them a better version of yourself or the person you married 1:43:30 Be careful with how your mind makes comparisons. Usually, the mind crafts a comparison to justify existing beliefs. 1:44:35 The dynamics that we have with our parents develops because they know us. 1:46:56 When we don't want to do what we are told... :) 1:50:34 Most controlling people are more "bark" than "bite" 1:54:05 The right way to build boundaries 1:58:35 Positive emotionality with firm boundaries 2:01:36 We stopped investing in ourselves 2:04:58 The biggest problem with self help content is that it becomes a substitute for actual action. 2:06:12 We now live in the world where you have to trick people into learning. 2:36:22 If you want to be critical of your thought process, externalize it. 2:49:54 How to spend suffering well ? - Choose it.
Every now and then I’ll have these similar thoughts and moments where I just want to word vomit but it truly is a cry for help. There are some days where I just need some sleep and I was spiraling but it’s really a very icky and helpless feeling I hope the best for op!
don't want to be alive ever since i was 7yo. 26 now and nothing has changed for the better. family is in pieces, no house, nothing to my name other than my car. what is the point of living if the will was taken away from you by your surrounding? i'm starting to become the joker. the thought is there and i like it more by the day. i feel like doing something impulsive but then regress to my old self
@@terryh.9238 That makes sense, and would explain why his content hasn't grabbed me as much anymore. I'm not at that place now, and reflecting on it, I should be grateful about that and that he's still making content even if it's not catered to me. Thanks for taking the time to respond!
Dr. K needs to realise that he organically chose to grind aim training in the first place because he enjoys Deadlock more. What he's doing is investing in leisure, and that's good. Getting embarrassed and switching to a book on how to write better wasn't organic, it was reactionary. I'd argue that's not healthy, not being able to let yourself just like what you like and needing to swap it with a more socially acceptable interest, even when nobody's around to make a value judgement. Dr. K, not everything is about how others perceive you, you don't have to manage your productivity for the benefit of others, you can just get good at Deadlock because you like it, that gives you more personality to other people than meeting expectations imposed on you (by yourself or others).
WHAT LOL. This would only be clickbait if people came looking for Dr. K’s downfall like some other UA-camrs! The ones that are ready to heal knew exactly what the title meant
The mom/controlling parent thing is also super common in Hispanic/Latino households. In my 20s in college, I had to deal with a lot of this and ended up getting through most of it by having really unpleasant arguments and finally just saying "I'm sorry you feel this way about x y z, but I need to learn how to be an adult." And it was uncomfortable, but it worked.
I kinda shared similar story with the mommy guy, but it's my grandma instead. luckily I rebelled even before she could push me any further. well it's the life or death situation for me, so of course I'd just do anything to liberate myself from that situation.
I just think everything I touch turns to shit, everything I try goes wrong, and everything I've ever wanted I will never have. I don't think it's some kind of conspiracy. I'm the problem. I just can't seem to fix it to the point that trying, at this point, is nothing but an exercise in futility.
I always knew my parents are to blame for many things that fucked me up, but simply because I am autistic and they simply didn't want to believe their child is different. Of course they can't expect the same things from me. But I keep learning about things they also did that can fuck me up as well. Breaking off any communication and abandoning my family is like the best thing I did for my mental health so far.
Hey Doc Why oh why do I refuse to do what will help me ⁉️ Most Gamers, Healthy or fucked, are one-quarter my age🤯😱 Stay in bed for 2mths. Have referral to new psychologist but I won't make contact, won't catch-up with my remaining friends, not unrealistically depressed, but completely overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done to get back on track Life is too hard
Gentleman, would you like to stay in bed for the rest of your life? Do not do all at once, do something. Go for a walk, make nice breakfast and go to bed. Tomorrow write one email or make one call. Then go to bed. Do not rush, just do something every day, not all of your chores. After some days you will have examples that you can do something. After that maybe give a call to your therapist. If you can't run forward, walk, if can't walk, crawl.
I'll tell you my two for what that's worth: 1) "Ghosts of Saint-Pierre" a novel of a man of Martinique in the time shortly before the volcanic eruption. It's written by one of my best writer friends and based on his grandfather's life. 2) "Inside the O'Briens" a New York Times best seller about a family dealing with Huntington's Disease. My son has Huntington's Disease, inherited from his father (my ex).
I'm unsure if I'm an addict, but I use drugs weekly and want to quit completely. I manage to stay clean during the weekdays while working, but by day six or seven, stress or irritation triggers my urge to use again. I take 2MMC, which helps me feel relaxed and a bit euphoric, allowing me to either unwind or be productive. However, the next day, I feel defeated and resolve to do better the following week. I struggle to enjoy my weekends. I don’t think about drugs when I wake up, but by the afternoon and evening, it becomes difficult. I often run out of activities since I go to the gym in the morning and complete most of my tasks then. Can anyone share tips or techniques to help me break this cycle? Has anyone experienced something similar?
Suffering isn't necessary for anything important to you. For example, in martial arts you fight, you take hits. To some people they suffer when they are hurt, but those are the people who drop out. To fighters who stay, the physical pain is sensory information, to some it's proof of progress or of being alive. Suffering is a mental experience, and it happens when harm comes without meaning. You don't suffer when you work for something meaningful, when the loss tells you something you can use to get closer to your goal. Nobody wants to suffer, but that's because suffering is a byproduct of meaningless loss. All pain is suffering when you're ignorant. People aren't motivated by hardship you find meaningful when they haven't learnt themselves its meaningful. You can't be informed of valuable action, you have to be convinced of it, and depressives are simply harder to convince.
I love how much these unsticking practices run parallel with the 100devs cohorts - focuses on getting productive habits started, continuing self motivated practices, etc,
I know this isn't psyche-based, but I'd love to ask him what social techniques he uses from his work that also transitions well outside of his job. I think his #1 answer would be just be a good listener, but I have noticed the way he responds to questions and I wonder how well that works in just regular life to whatever degree.
I have a UA-cam addiction, and when I know I should do something with my full attention, but just don't feel like I can bring myself to stop watching, I do at least change to watch a healthygamer video...and now I feel ready to turn off UA-cam and focus on my homework for at least a little while. See y'all
Hm. When Dr. K describes "mental karma", he describes mental habits. Isn't that called "vasana" ? In Dr. K's guide, the word "karma" is translated as "circumstance". I'm confused here...
This was a fantastic stream. I really appreciate when Dr. K shares what he does in his own personal life. I never expected him of all people to fire up an FPS trainer to git gud at Deadlock, but he's a gamer just like the rest of us, trying to make the best out of his life. Genuinely considering what he wants to invest his time into and acting on it, even if it absolutely sucks. It really makes it all the more relatable. Thanks, Dr. K
I feel like video games have taken away my life or from i should be doing. Ive thrown away multiple consoles only to buy another one. When i dont have it, im bored and unhappy. But i just cant pry myself away to literally get ANYTHING done. What the hell do i do?
I started by doing something fun for 1-2 minutes every day. In my case this was shuffle dancing because I had two left feet but I always loved moving and shaking my body. After about 100 days of this I ramped up time and intensity and now it's a full blown hobby that I prioritise over gaming because I am internally driven to work towards it. Now I have zero motivation to open a video game lol (unless the boys ask me to play Counter Strike in which case I'll play with them, no more than once a week)
I'm interested in how 7 hours of work isn't depriving yourself because it's meaningless in a month's time, but an hour of gaming is a waste of your life you'll never get back. There's clear dissonance there, but it's justified by a value system so it's ignored.
If spending money on yourself is the best way you can do, why so many americans suffer lifelong school debt enslavement? Aren't that 250k before interest supposed to propel you in life?
That’s a systemic failure unique to the United States afaik. Maybe something similar is going on with the UK and EU but I’m not familiar with their education systems. It really is supposed to work like that and the cost was never supposed to be this high.
@@WASDLeftClick first degree is free in vast majority of EU. Uk is complicated, but they managed to subsidize their unis with money coming from international students, until recently.
THe trauma grunt Dr k does when saying we can traumatize ourselves at scale sent me hard XD. As always wonderful wise words as well - very eye opening!
Hey there, I am the guy who posted about how I’m struggling with everything at 19. The thing I like the most about Dr. K is that he actually understands a lot of societal problems that plays a role in mental health struggles rather than just giving google advice like “just keep trying” he sees it differently and even acknowledged that simply just people to keep trying and hope for the best is not good advice and could actually lower your confidence is success is low. That’s what’s been happening with me. I’ve been told to just keep trying which I have been doing but I still have had no luck and it’s damaged my confidence a lot. In fact what led me to writing that post was that I received a rejection from a position from Target which I actually felt confident about getting and it stung. I heard it’s the job market too since someone has been declined from McDonald’s. It’s very harsh out there and I feel a lot of stress from it. Thank you Dr. K for sharing this and trying to understand my point of view, really made my day
I was unemployed with undiagnosed ADHD and unhealed childhood trauma and it was rejection hell for years. I didn't even know what I didn't know about how job searching is supposed to go. I didn't know you needed cover letters and once you get to an interview how to be socially adept enough to get hired. I didn't even apply for many jobs because job searching was ADHD hell and I was addicted to everything else on the internet instead.
Dr K was rejected from 140 medical schools i think he said.
But something eventually clicked and all you need is one place to accept you/ hire you for everything in your life from that point forward to change. If you can figure out why McDonald's and Target might've rejected you -- you seem overqualified on your resume or you lack social skills etc and try to fix that issue for the next time you apply to another place, or if you play more of a numbers game and acknowledge the hard work of applying to 10 different local fast food chains and getting rejected by all of them but it did the work to try your best and apply, and you learned from the experience of doing the resume and getting some interviews and from there you think you'll be more prepared for the next 10 and you keep going, eventually one of them will accept you. And you can learn from the job and be so much more skilled the next time you apply somewhere else. Volunteer work can also be amazing on your resume and amazing at helping you build so many skills and they often have a lower bar for accepting people vs rejecting them than jobs. They'll take every volunteer they can get a lot of places.
Things got way better for me eventually. I'm not saying new, different obstacles didn't cross my path. But things can change all at once if you keep giving life opportunities to help you out. Your luck can turn around. Your skills can improve. Etc.
My apologies if this seems like a "just keep trying" advice thing. I hope my comments are more nuanced than that. Try something else. Don't keep trying the same thing. And like Dr K said, don't just ignore how it feels harder and harder. You have to approach it differently.
Your post made my day. Thank you. It said everything I wanted to say. It’s like there’s still a 19 year old inside me and I’m already 45.
I used to stock shelves at Target for a year. Getting rejected from Target is a blessing in disguise.
Hey man, I graduated college in 2008 with a 2.2 GPA. Economic recession coupled with my very poor academic choices gave me little options in the open market.
I made a hard choice to join the Army as a college option OCS candidate. What that means is that I had to go through Basic Training at Ft. Benning with the other infantry entry candidates, go through another 12-week OCS course to earn my commission.
It was the greatest blessing in disguise because it gave me goals to elevate myself to. Each gateway I passed on my military journey was just that. It was difficult, but not un-achievable.
I say this because my path may not be yours, but everyone needs to have goals in their life they can achieve that elevate themselves to the person they need to be to not only reach them, but also earn the rewards.
You have the power and capability to define your path in life. Building your physical and mental resiliency is paramount to that success.
You’re never alone when you walk with God. Even if you struggle like me with my faith every day, acting as if God exists has worked out for me and I hope it can be for you.
God Bless and I hope this message finds you well.
@ntxsirenvators8983 Wishing you all the best and strength brother!
Thank you for taking the inspiring first step of making this honest and vulnerable post.
*Intro & Housekeeping:* 4:17
*Understanding Fatalism in the Community:*
- *Community Feedback and Ownership:* 19:48
- *Addressing Negativity and Rejection of Help:* 22:16
*Case Study 1 - "Please Convince Me to Have Hope":* 23:19
- *The Need for Hope and the Desire to Live:* 26:59
- *The Energy Investment in a "Worthless Life":* 31:44
- *Recognizing the Drive to Improve:* 32:16
- *The Importance of Critical Thinking:* 35:21
- *Identifying Contradictions in Thought Processes:* 39:26
- *Understanding Help-Rejecting Systems:* 41:49
- *The Power of Being the Problem:* 43:35
- *Mental Karma - The Importance of Mental Actions:* 46:19
- *Responding to Impulses and Desires:* 53:51
- *The World Isn't Against You, But It May Have Been:* 55:18
- *Changing Your Response to Circumstances:* 57:53
- *Seeking Sustained Help and Support:* 59:43
*Case Study 2 - "Life is a Huge Disappointment":* 1:06:31
- *The Snowball Effect of Success and Failure:* 1:08:14
- *The Futility of "Just Keep Trying":* 1:10:45
- *"If At First You Don't Succeed, Try It a Different Way":* 1:12:58
- *The Increasing Rate of Rejection in Modern Life:* 1:16:12
- *Focusing on Improvement, Not Outcomes:* 1:22:51
- *Perception is Reality - Control Your Inputs:* 1:30:59
- *Set Yourself Up for a Better Tomorrow:* 1:34:28
*Case Study 3 - "How to Feel Good About Myself":* 1:37:58
- *The Impact of Controlling Parents:* 1:39:14
- *The Cycle of Pushing and Atrophy:* 1:45:05
- *Taking Responsibility and Tolerating Disappointment:* 1:47:53
- *The Power of Compassion and Firm Boundaries:* 1:51:26
*Self-Improvement as a Burden:*
- *The Limitations of Self-Help Content:* 2:04:31
- *The Importance of Action and Investment:* 2:06:45
- *Investing in Yourself - Time, Energy, and Resources:* 2:09:34
- *The Value of Suffering for Improvement:* 2:11:53
- *Finding Balance and Prioritizing Your Own Needs:* 2:42:54
*Closing Thoughts and Q&A:*
- *Prioritizing Internal Change and Externalization:* 2:35:48
- *The Importance of External Perspectives:* 2:38:22
- *Using Suffering as a Resource for Growth:* 2:49:51
- *Thank You and Closing Remarks:* 2:52:58
This should be pinned. Thank you
o7
thank you for this! o7
You’re a hero, o7
Thank you very much.
No one wants to die, some just don't want to live the life they're living, and don't see an end to it.
Auch
Can we please all take a minute to appreciate the fuck out of what this man is doing, not only is he educating us, he is giving us advice and giving us clues as to how we can learn to be better versions of ourselves no matter our personality or personnal issues. People fucking need this shit! Even if they didn't care about understanding the people around them, they still be better off understanding more about themselves.
With all my respect, thank you
Thank you for making this video! Please make more content on people feeling "fucked" or lost in life. This resontates with me a lot and is the content I need and would like to see from healthygamer.
I feel like so many of our problems are rooted or merely exist becoz of a certain family member. It’s like we had this person we expected would be our safe space but instead they chose to wreck havoc in our life than actually respect our beliefs our trying to understand us.
Today’s my birthday and seeing how my parents haven’t even acknowledged it is internally welling up tears in me, although I refuse to let other people’s behaviours overrule my emotional well being, it’s still something that lingers. Had all of us a deep connection with even one of our parents, I’m pretty sure 90% of our problems would either not exist, or would have very little damage on our mental and physical well being.
Unfortunately, it's not that simple. I have decent connection with my father and good connection with my mother, and I still have mental health problems and NEET lifestyle. Messy place the human mind is...
Happy belated birthday :)
kinda late but happy birthday!
Same bro same@@Hexanitrobenzene
I empathize with you and hope that every Birthday from here on out is HAPPY... failed parenting be damned. Don't give up!
The way I integrate your content is to write things/concepts you say that stands out to me and write about it in my journal.
I also talk about certain things you say that strikes a chord w me to my therapist.
I am a 29 y.o. woman from a non-english speaking country, indifferent to videogames, conventionally attractive and happily married. I may not be your target audience, but I had a very long term depression, once I was volunteerly hospitalized and one psychiatrist shared the link to Doctor K's video about fixing sleep schedule. I follow this channel for a year and what I learnt is helping me a lot, I try to practice this in life not just watch.
Thank you, Doctor and good luck to all of the community in making our lives better and healthier
"one psychiatrist shared the link to Doctor K's video"
- That's cool :)
Yeah, the naming of this channel is a bit unfortunate. It's purely a historical legacy at this point. Dr. K has since expanded his efforts to all kinds of mental health challenges, not just gaming addiction.
That’s awesome, I’m happy you’ve made improvements!
Where are you from? Just curious
@@hai-mel6815Russia
@@hai-mel6815Russia
Thank you for saying it can be terminal instead of being toxically positive. There's a big difference between saying "don't lose hope, it's gonna get better" and "yes it sucks, but there's still hope".
Something I think about often when watching Dr. K's videos is how many of these struggles with mental health would exist today if today's young adult population had the same socioeconomic mobility and stability as older generations had at the same age.
For the proverbial older person who says they had it just as rough-go look up median housing prices: median income ratios over time. Not to mention the fact that everything from an academic and professional standpoint has gotten order of magnitudes more competitive. For example, I have a relative who is in their late-30s who is an anesthesiologist. They told me (though hesitantly) that they likely would not have been able to match into the same specialty given the level of competition there is today compared to just around a decade ago. It seems like we're all working more and more for less and less, and you just have to think there has to be a point of critical mass.
I agree with you completely! And, I know for me, focusing on how fucked our system is, makes taking action to improve my life feel pointless. However, pretending everything is fine with where our current society is headed is delusional.
I'm not sure how to reconcile these two things.
Yeah, recent TED talk of Scott Galloway has a lot more examples of everything costing more...
@@hungryghost-90burn is and everything else down
@@Hexanitrobenzeneit ain't supported by data. It a political speech, not scientific. He basically pulls graphs out of his ass and never defines his categories (like a generation) or control groups.
Vote.
My self-imposed rule is that I only put self-help videos on when I'm doing work of some kind. Cleaning, cooking, walking, doesn't matter - I just can't let myself sit on the couch and watch content like this.
That's a good rule
Self help videos while doing something productive helps me as well. It's about taking small gains, not the entire mountain at one time.
Why self help videos tho? This self help shit isnt useful imo unless you are actively listening and making changes in your lives/thinking. Dr k even says this in this very stream lol
Why can't you let yourself watch this on your couch?
@@kushalramakanth7922 ... which I am. Thank you for your input.
I feel f***ed by this: I was abducted in addiction, and escaped and got sober. So I figured that was clearly the worst behind me, like that was my life’s big f***ed challenge and I would finally be able to use my [pretty f***ing amazing] brain for something other than getting, using and getting more drugs. Instead, after 6 months of being aware I was in severe shock, I started experiencing severe dissociation, dissociative fugues, daily amnesia, and losing time- 5 hours a day on average but sometimes up to three days. My brain that had done me so well in surviving a decade+ of the insane internal war and the excruciating external consequences of addiction was a stranger to me. Or should I say strangers, because a month or two into this new experience of myself, I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I lost my fiancé, friends, family, my fortitude and how full of life I was… and a left with the exact sentiment you’re addressing here: I’m fucked. Somehow I still have managed to circumnavigate the temptation of falling back into drugs and the bouts of severe depression that accompanied the more severe episodes I experienced early on. But that was SIX YEARS AGO. I have always had through the roof ADHD, been too smart for my own good and struggled with true vulnerability necessary for healing… but not only have those things led to some serious maladaptive mechanisms of the mind and behaviours, now I’m in my early 30s with no job, no friends, no romantic prospects (because why would I force myself like half baked bread down someone’s throat under the guise of sustenance for a relationship, I know I need quite a bit more time in the oven before I’m capable of offering that) and no real life. I was nothing like this before. So yeah, “f***ed” sounds about right. I’m just starting watching, so I will comment if anything piques my interest as a tool I could use because I’m nothing if not motivated to move forward… but hopelessness colours much of my world these days. I’m not depressed (we all have our days) and I refuse to give up, but I’m just… feeling fucked. Seems like the stream was ruled perfectly because I can’t truly encompass it more succinctly than that. Thank you for reading and my heart goes out to anyone else feeling this sentiment, regardless of why and what your life looks like… your feelings are valid and we all deserve a little compassion and help sometimes.
Xoxo, Gossip Girl.
This is a very interesting and thought provoking read. Replying so that I can get back on this.
Feel like I wrote this. Literally almost word for word the exact same story with me. Except we never actually got engaged ...
You are not alone, whatever that may be worth. 💝
1:13:00
"If first you don't succeed.. don't just try and try again; but try a different way!"
kind of silly to call this clickbait. i only had to glance at the title to know this is a video for me
That's right, I knew it is about me right away too LOL
That whole 5 minutes was kind of annoying
Yeah was completely obvious to me too (even though it doesn't apply to me)... But I've been watching this channel for a while so might be I'm just used to their style. I didn't even get what the misunderstanding was at first.
Agree
@@finrazielProbably some people thinking the title was about Dr. K
The new music playing before stream starts is so hype. Definitely raging to that at the HG ranch with y’all
The correspondent is right about "the whole world being against him," in the sense Doc K describes -- advertising and entertainment and many cultural values are set up to tell you you are not enough, you are a loser, you are not making enough money, you don't have the right motivation, you don't value the right things, you don't belong to the right religion . . . etc. Also, you may have not been given a good start, good training, good support at a crucial time in your life. And it is absolutely true that, in that case, you will have a very hard time creating a stable life. So . . .what I do, for what is worth, is dismiss all these "training experiences" that were actually designed to manipulate me. I stopped watching television (especially television news -- I know how to research well [not go down conspiracy rabbit holes]). Next, I created my own particular value/desire. I'm a professional writer, so I know that writer's block is cured by lowering your expectations because you know the secret to writing is rewriting. Same in life. The "rough draft" is rough and full of misspellings and detours and so on. You will have to rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. And it will get better every time. Keep it small, because the desire to make it large is mostly cultural manipulation and we've already determined that is bad for us. Celebrate every tiny step at least as hard as you've been celebrating disaster.
I’m 19 too and boy am I grateful for yall bc my family situation just got more complicated and my samskaras started beating my ass to a pulp at work yesterday
30:51 oh wow this reminds me of an episode of M*A*S*H! A soldier was trying to commit suicide; Sherman T Potter prove to him that he wanted to live by forcing him in a fight with the gas meant to knock someone out..
The guy panicked and Potter off and had his fists up. And that's when the colonel told him "that's the spirit! That's the part of you that wants to live now hold on to that!"
Great scene from the show
Stream start 4:13
@@yoanageorgieva3068 thanks for the time stamp bro.😎👏
Music starts at 0:00
Thanks 👍
I love going to the library. Started it recently. Most times I'm not that productive and sometimes I read a bit. Still better than sitting behind my PC at home.
Personal Note:
1:51:55 this is important. I am not a kid anymore. Whenever I am in the presence of my emotion such as intense fear. I lost sight that I am an adult. I also lost sight of time. The fear makes me feel that I am 6 years old under the pressure of my parents. Either I survive with my parents or living in the streets. that was my biggest fear. Now I am living in the street of my own using my own money but the fear of my own little me. I need to train my awareness that I am an adult.
2:00:15 yeah. that makes sense. Whenever I am interested with someone, my body response was just to run away to safety. The safety of being alone and not in the presence of someone that I am interested in. The interest is paired with the fear. the fear is being taught from my mom that having my own desire is dangerous because my mom projected her dissatisfaction of her life to me. My desires will be interpreted as a roadblock for other to achieve her "success" through me because if I don't become what she wants, that is not align with her definition of success.
2:02:37 this statement hits so hard. I have time and resources now.
2:36:40 when I am thinking. I am not recruiting sensory into consideration. My data is incomplete.
2:38:02 separate out generative and critical thinking. When I am generating, it won't be critical. when I am critical, I won't generate anything.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve been excluded from so much of the things that make up fundamental aspects of being a human living in human civilization. All the little acts of kindness and subtle shows of respect and appreciation people have for each other, the compassion that underlines so many things, just doesn’t seem to be there. I’ve seen other people experience the best things life has to offer, and it just makes me feel even worse.
1:09:30 interesting anecdotal advice about how long it takes. Half the time
1:54:03 love this jutsu
2:01:42 SOO TRUEE DR K SO TRUEE
2:22:10-2:27:30 love this rant
2:35:49 great practical advise about externalization as a key component for critical thinking and self-improvement
2:43:13-2:44:01 yea i gotta work on this one
2:50:41 noted
Noone asked, but the place I'm in goes like this "everything that is or has been bad in my life is my fault, and I've never forgiven myself for it" self hate is rough, the longer it goes the stronger it gets...at this point it's stronger than the rest of me I recently took stock of things my self hate has cost me and it's a lot.... More than I can ever forgive myself for. Also doc is really hard selling the spending money on yourself....I quit therapy last week because it cost too much I guess I can't get anything right 😂
I am ever thankful for watching these videos to learn how I can talk to my struggling friends better that come to me for help and check myself.
"im aging, my telemeres are getting shorter" never change Dr. K 2:25:00
soooooooooooo informative, thank you Dr. K
So extremely grateful for you, Dr. K! 60 years of age Woman here. Learning that I have experienced "destroyed autonomy" (CPTSD).You are helping me pick up the pieces. Thank You! 🙏 (I'm sad I missed the Adulting Challenge)
43:07 so what do we do when our suffering and bad mental state comes from a chronic illness? Not that one but in general. I’ve really been struggling with this since 17 (21 now) and the last thing I needed to hear when I’m already very depressed is that there’s not much I can do about it (and basically no hope).
Look up the vid of drk on chaos and control (he has a spiral image lines on thumbnail ) he address the exact answer to your question .
Moving around a lot isn't listed in the main Adverse Childhood Experiences list... even death of a parent isn't listed there. they just have Divorced parents, parent goes to prison, parent with mental illness, parent with addiction, parent who abuses us, parent who is abused and we witness it, parent who neglects us.
Yeah, the ACEs list is pretty limited; tbh it was kinda early research and could use an update.
Psych is a really young field, and trauma in particular is something society has historically cringed away from studying-read Judith Hermann's book Trauma and Recovery.
We still don't have CPTSD in the DSM, which somewhat limits the research US scientists can undertake. Maybe once it catches up to the ICD-11, we'll be able to figure out a longer list of ACEs.
I love this channel. Thank you, Dr. K! You give a lot of people hope, confidence, tools to survive. A lot of shit. Sincerely, thank you
I really love how Dr K gives you the tools or the know how to make changes. I always struggled with i know i need to do this but i dont know how. And by watching 2 videos, i have a place to start. Thank you so much.
You have reached so much more than the gamer community…. I couldn’t be farther outside that group. I am so thankful for your work. And the fact that you are a medical psychiatrist- is truly unbelievable. If the profession is relevant, at all, in the near future- it will be because of people like you who offer tangible help. You, sir, are a .001%er. There is hope in the world.
I had a controlling, tiger mom who was very toxic and somewhat abusive in my childhood. I'm in my 30s now and even though shes not around anymore (may she rest in peace), the things she used to tell me turned into my inner voice towards myself so shes still controlling my life today even though shes not around. I have PTSD from my childhood and college. I don't think the setting boundaries technique at 1:58:36 would've worked against my mom. The reason is that I recall vividly in elementary school, she'd always threaten to kill herself while screaming at the top of her lungs while grabbing a knife from the knife drawer. She'd blame me for trying to end her life and calling me a bad son. This was always after she'd chase me down and beat me for either not getting straight A's in school or for disobeying her by visiting my cousins at their house. But I never got straight A's so this was always a common occurrence from ages 7-14.
Dr. K., you're a good man. Sending love from southeast Europe, Croatia. ❤❤❤
2:25:18 "I just lost a game of DotA and the enemies are not ending, they are completely wasting my time, I'm aging and these fuckers don't end, my cell-my telomeres are getting shorter and I'm stuck here becuase they're not ending"
I'm dying bro dr. K you are too real for this man💀💀
“If one person that you meet is an asshole, they’re the asshole. If everyone that you meet is an asshole - you’re the asshole.” Dr.K 2K24
😂😂😂 love this
😂
Some notes I took:
18:10 First post
28:03 A patient who tried to commit suicide 7 times
31:45 having a worthless life requires a lot of energy investment
35:15 It's a problem of... critical thinking
39:30 start with the things that argue against your other beliefs
41:50 look at your "help rejecting system"
44:55 When someone proposes something to us, we insist that we are right instead
of looking how other person could be right
46:25 95% of action that we take is in our mind
48:15 a lot of people who think they are weak willed... are not weak willed
51:30 "HIV of the mind" - when progress invokes negative emotions
54:12 28th annual conference on "How to F... you over" :)
55:25 the world dealing you a bad hand
56:50 Adverse childhood experiences
59:55 people usually need sustained help
1:03:36 psychoterapy is focused on pathology
1:06:34 Second post
1:08:14 wins in life compound
1:09:54 it takes about half the time you have been stuck to climb out
1:10:55 "just keep trying" is the most stupid advice for someone stuck
1:11:03 Dr. K went to military academy
1:13:50 Principle of positive deviance - duplicate successes, not failures
1:16:01 the rate of rejections is much higher these days
1:20:30 don't try to disprove your beliefs, alter the way you respond to them
1:22:00 Trying to convince people that their life is better than it is got
weeded out from Dr. K ...
1:23:33 The right approach - "let's see what I can learn", "How can I do better?"
1:30:54 Perception is critical
1:34:29 Set yourself up for a better tomorrow
1:36:42 Hatred towrds humanity
1:37:55 Third post
1:39:46 One of the most terrible things one can do to children is to try to make
them a better version of yourself or the person you married
1:43:30 Be careful with how your mind makes comparisons. Usually, the mind crafts
a comparison to justify existing beliefs.
1:44:35 The dynamics that we have with our parents develops because they know us.
1:46:56 When we don't want to do what we are told... :)
1:50:34 Most controlling people are more "bark" than "bite"
1:54:05 The right way to build boundaries
1:58:35 Positive emotionality with firm boundaries
2:01:36 We stopped investing in ourselves
2:04:58 The biggest problem with self help content is that it becomes a
substitute for actual action.
2:06:12 We now live in the world where you have to trick people into learning.
2:36:22 If you want to be critical of your thought process, externalize it.
2:49:54 How to spend suffering well ? - Choose it.
Every now and then I’ll have these similar thoughts and moments where I just want to word vomit but it truly is a cry for help. There are some days where I just need some sleep and I was spiraling but it’s really a very icky and helpless feeling I hope the best for op!
don't want to be alive ever since i was 7yo. 26 now and nothing has changed for the better. family is in pieces, no house, nothing to my name other than my car. what is the point of living if the will was taken away from you by your surrounding? i'm starting to become the joker. the thought is there and i like it more by the day. i feel like doing something impulsive but then regress to my old self
I love Dr. K's content but a lot of it is so serious. I want to hear him talk about the cultivation of fun, joy, and mirth in a healthy way.
i think the member's videos skew more in that direction. a lot of these videos are for people at rock bottom
@@terryh.9238 That makes sense, and would explain why his content hasn't grabbed me as much anymore. I'm not at that place now, and reflecting on it, I should be grateful about that and that he's still making content even if it's not catered to me.
Thanks for taking the time to respond!
Taco Bell guy is literally me, except I don't use reddit, or drive, or eat ungodly amounts of slop food, so not really me, but close enough.
I drive :sigma:
40:00 Look at the contradictions in my own thought process
41:00 is "but" a problem to be solved, an obstacle to overcome, or a reason to quit?
Hot diggity, one of the finest rants I’ve ever seen but dude can taaaaaaaaaaallllkkk,l…not criticizing, genuinely impressed
Truly a 🐐. You changed the trajectory of my life man🙏🏻
Taco bell guy watching this video: "👁️👄👁️"
😂
You that guy and having fun or just fun and not him
Dr. K needs to realise that he organically chose to grind aim training in the first place because he enjoys Deadlock more. What he's doing is investing in leisure, and that's good. Getting embarrassed and switching to a book on how to write better wasn't organic, it was reactionary. I'd argue that's not healthy, not being able to let yourself just like what you like and needing to swap it with a more socially acceptable interest, even when nobody's around to make a value judgement.
Dr. K, not everything is about how others perceive you, you don't have to manage your productivity for the benefit of others, you can just get good at Deadlock because you like it, that gives you more personality to other people than meeting expectations imposed on you (by yourself or others).
Great energy Dr.
God-bless you my friend🧡
Great video as always. Got some insights out of it
WHAT LOL. This would only be clickbait if people came looking for Dr. K’s downfall like some other UA-camrs! The ones that are ready to heal knew exactly what the title meant
Yeah haha they was getting their popcorn out for a minute
The mom/controlling parent thing is also super common in Hispanic/Latino households. In my 20s in college, I had to deal with a lot of this and ended up getting through most of it by having really unpleasant arguments and finally just saying "I'm sorry you feel this way about x y z, but I need to learn how to be an adult." And it was uncomfortable, but it worked.
1:15:00 😮Wow didn't see that coming, I imagined it'd be the opposite case. That just gave me more hope in the industry.
Thanks Dr. K ❤
57:23 story of my life. Some people really struggle to understand this.
I kinda shared similar story with the mommy guy, but it's my grandma instead.
luckily I rebelled even before she could push me any further.
well it's the life or death situation for me, so of course I'd just do anything to liberate myself from that situation.
I just don't know who I am anymore. Nothing I have in life is from me.
I just think everything I touch turns to shit, everything I try goes wrong, and everything I've ever wanted I will never have. I don't think it's some kind of conspiracy. I'm the problem. I just can't seem to fix it to the point that trying, at this point, is nothing but an exercise in futility.
I always knew my parents are to blame for many things that fucked me up, but simply because I am autistic and they simply didn't want to believe their child is different. Of course they can't expect the same things from me.
But I keep learning about things they also did that can fuck me up as well.
Breaking off any communication and abandoning my family is like the best thing I did for my mental health so far.
Hey Doc
Why oh why do I refuse to do what will help me ⁉️
Most Gamers, Healthy or fucked, are one-quarter my age🤯😱
Stay in bed for 2mths. Have referral to new psychologist but I won't make contact, won't catch-up with my remaining friends, not unrealistically depressed, but completely overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done to get back on track
Life is too hard
You're 80+ years old?
Feel dat brah..
@@Hemlocker several years off
Gentleman, would you like to stay in bed for the rest of your life? Do not do all at once, do something. Go for a walk, make nice breakfast and go to bed. Tomorrow write one email or make one call. Then go to bed. Do not rush, just do something every day, not all of your chores. After some days you will have examples that you can do something. After that maybe give a call to your therapist. If you can't run forward, walk, if can't walk, crawl.
Can you list the two books you’re reading right now? “On writing well” & what book by chuck palahniuk?
I'll tell you my two for what that's worth: 1) "Ghosts of Saint-Pierre" a novel of a man of Martinique in the time shortly before the volcanic eruption. It's written by one of my best writer friends and based on his grandfather's life. 2) "Inside the O'Briens" a New York Times best seller about a family dealing with Huntington's Disease. My son has Huntington's Disease, inherited from his father (my ex).
"consider this"
95K views and 3.3K likes for a 3 hour talk after 2 days!! Positivity needed and much appreciated. Thanks Dr K.
Great strean with lots of practical stuff. Good job dr k and HG :)
2:47:50 the suffering is part of it, it is the most important resource we have - it's crazy how we avoid suffering
46:27 After years pf therapy, I can confirm this is true! I had no clue before
lol he thinks the title was clickbait but it was the perfect explanation tbh
Might be a weird question, but... where can I get an MP3 of the song that plays before Dr K shows up on stream?
Tried Shazaming it?
Rip it youtube to mp3
Yt-dlp
I'm unsure if I'm an addict, but I use drugs weekly and want to quit completely. I manage to stay clean during the weekdays while working, but by day six or seven, stress or irritation triggers my urge to use again.
I take 2MMC, which helps me feel relaxed and a bit euphoric, allowing me to either unwind or be productive. However, the next day, I feel defeated and resolve to do better the following week.
I struggle to enjoy my weekends. I don’t think about drugs when I wake up, but by the afternoon and evening, it becomes difficult. I often run out of activities since I go to the gym in the morning and complete most of my tasks then.
Can anyone share tips or techniques to help me break this cycle? Has anyone experienced something similar?
I understood the title no issue. Not clickbait.
"HIV of the mind"
Yeah I felt like this. It's terminal lol
The connection to the previous topic he talked about in a different video about choosing your suffering tickled a funny part of my brain
Suffering isn't necessary for anything important to you. For example, in martial arts you fight, you take hits. To some people they suffer when they are hurt, but those are the people who drop out. To fighters who stay, the physical pain is sensory information, to some it's proof of progress or of being alive.
Suffering is a mental experience, and it happens when harm comes without meaning. You don't suffer when you work for something meaningful, when the loss tells you something you can use to get closer to your goal. Nobody wants to suffer, but that's because suffering is a byproduct of meaningless loss.
All pain is suffering when you're ignorant. People aren't motivated by hardship you find meaningful when they haven't learnt themselves its meaningful. You can't be informed of valuable action, you have to be convinced of it, and depressives are simply harder to convince.
"I feel like I was born to self destruct." Metallica has an album called Hardwired To Self-Destruct.
I love how much these unsticking practices run parallel with the 100devs cohorts - focuses on getting productive habits started, continuing self motivated practices, etc,
One Love!
Always forward, never ever backward!!
☀️☀️☀️
💚💛❤️
🙏🏿🙏🙏🏼
45:00
1:13:00 (positive deviance / failure debuff)
1:18:00
1:44:00
2:35:45
2:47:40
I know this isn't psyche-based, but I'd love to ask him what social techniques he uses from his work that also transitions well outside of his job. I think his #1 answer would be just be a good listener, but I have noticed the way he responds to questions and I wonder how well that works in just regular life to whatever degree.
I have a UA-cam addiction, and when I know I should do something with my full attention, but just don't feel like I can bring myself to stop watching, I do at least change to watch a healthygamer video...and now I feel ready to turn off UA-cam and focus on my homework for at least a little while. See y'all
So incredibly good 🙆🏼♂️❤️
"Who's this Dr K guy?" Lmao that's amazing!! 😂😂
Hm. When Dr. K describes "mental karma", he describes mental habits. Isn't that called "vasana" ? In Dr. K's guide, the word "karma" is translated as "circumstance". I'm confused here...
I love Dr K! I can listen to him all day long. Thank you so much for what you’re doing.
52:34 life-changing realization
Dr.K is my favorite superhero. I’m glad his cinematic universe is growing❤
This was a fantastic stream. I really appreciate when Dr. K shares what he does in his own personal life.
I never expected him of all people to fire up an FPS trainer to git gud at Deadlock, but he's a gamer just like the rest of us, trying to make the best out of his life. Genuinely considering what he wants to invest his time into and acting on it, even if it absolutely sucks. It really makes it all the more relatable.
Thanks, Dr. K
I feel like video games have taken away my life or from i should be doing. Ive thrown away multiple consoles only to buy another one. When i dont have it, im bored and unhappy. But i just cant pry myself away to literally get ANYTHING done. What the hell do i do?
Make your life into a game.
I started by doing something fun for 1-2 minutes every day. In my case this was shuffle dancing because I had two left feet but I always loved moving and shaking my body. After about 100 days of this I ramped up time and intensity and now it's a full blown hobby that I prioritise over gaming because I am internally driven to work towards it. Now I have zero motivation to open a video game lol (unless the boys ask me to play Counter Strike in which case I'll play with them, no more than once a week)
can anyone tell me where to find the intro music PLEASE
Thank you dr.k.
2:29:18 Dr. K applies lethal bleed stack 💀🩸
2:52:00 your first Dharma is to YOURSELF
thumbnail is super relatable. being born to self destruct
Thank you, Dr.K
Thanks dr K. for teaching me how to better flame my teammates in League of Legends
I'm interested in how 7 hours of work isn't depriving yourself because it's meaningless in a month's time, but an hour of gaming is a waste of your life you'll never get back. There's clear dissonance there, but it's justified by a value system so it's ignored.
What skills or tangible reward do you gain from gaming?
2:29:42 Dr.K murdered us with that one XD
Rx Positive emotion with firm boundaries 01:57:22
If spending money on yourself is the best way you can do, why so many americans suffer lifelong school debt enslavement? Aren't that 250k before interest supposed to propel you in life?
That’s a systemic failure unique to the United States afaik. Maybe something similar is going on with the UK and EU but I’m not familiar with their education systems. It really is supposed to work like that and the cost was never supposed to be this high.
@@WASDLeftClick first degree is free in vast majority of EU. Uk is complicated, but they managed to subsidize their unis with money coming from international students, until recently.
1:54:00
Checkpoint
2:08:00 / 2:08:14 : getting stuck watching self help content, supposed to stop for some time and keep going
If i could make one thing happen magically,i wish i finished my studies to become a psychologist, i thinl i would have been a good therapist ❤❤
THe trauma grunt Dr k does when saying we can traumatize ourselves at scale sent me hard XD. As always wonderful wise words as well - very eye opening!