Dr. K’s saved me from myself on many occasions over the last 2-3 years. I’d been barely surviving on $700 - $900 a month in Texas, and his content is the only help I can realistically afford. I’m finally moving in with a lifelong friend, and we’ve just started making money power-washing peoples’ driveways and homes to increase our income and become functional/productive members of society. Without Dr. K’s content I am 100% certain I’d be dead or in prison right now.
*Introduction & Medical Board Reprimand:* 6:13 - Reprimand and its implications: 7:11 - Dr. K's response and gratitude: 13:27 - Continued commitment to mental health work: 15:53 - Dr. K's reaction to his appearance in Ariana's music video: 20:07 *Tired of Work & Societal Expectations:* 21:42 - Exhaustion in younger generations: 22:01 - Societal blame and changing nature of work: 22:51 - Conflicting societal expectations and burnout: 24:48 - The futility of living for external validation: 29:02 - Importance of internal compass and introspection: 30:10 - Technology's impact on emotional numbness: 35:16 - The challenge of confronting inner negativity: 50:31 - Finding strength in internal drive and perseverance: 56:03 - The importance of self-Worth: 1:01:38 - Connecting with your internal compass: 1:03:00 - Overcoming the Need for external validation: 1:11:50 - How to find what you like: 01:22:31 *Cycle of Job Dissatisfaction:* 1:30:49 - Understanding the emotional drivers of the cycle: 1:32:14 - The role of desperation in job selection: 1:35:38 - Breaking the cycle by reducing desperation and seeking better opportunities: 1:41:19 *Below Average IQ and Success:* 2:01:10 - The "given up" adult pipeline and the impact of early struggles: 2:01:24 - The nocebo effect and the power of belief: 2:04:33 - Importance of EQ, kindness, and reliability: 2:06:39 - Life is not a race, and success can come at different paces: 2:12:23 - The power of human potential and altering life's trajectory: 2:18:52 *Q&A:* 2:20:40 - Overcoming lack of empathy and Alexithymia: 2:21:15 - Avoiding burnout from trying too hard: 2:22:38 - Importance of listening to internal signals and re-calibrating values: 2:24:11 *Closing Remarks:* 2:34:25 - Reflections on the Medical Board process: 2:34:53 - Gratitude for support and commitment to mental health work: 2:36:13 - Upcoming streams: 2:36:52
The issue isn't that no one wants to work. The issue is that, in order to survive, one job is not enough. 2 jobs isn't even enough either anymore. Working has no positive net return anymore because of the economy vs. what we make
We switched from a labor economy to an ownership economy as the baby boomers aged into retirement. Most of our national wealth is now tied up in large assets like real estate instead of flowing into the "living" economy.
I literally don't know anyone who has or needs to have two jobs. Though I know some people who float along for months between jobs on unemployment and savings
I just turned 37, and the depression is getting so much worse as I get older. I can’t shake it off as easily these days. I’m FINALLY starting to take care of myself more. Making an appointment to see a therapist soon as well. It’s tough out there. Stay strong everybody… 💪🏻
I’m with you. 37 as well, fairly successful professionally but hit hard by depression / chronic pain / chronic fatigue a few years ago. let’s hang in there, it gets better!
32 here and I've found it easier over the years. Sorry to hear it's worsening for you. Hopefully the therapist helps. Medication like ssris just made me numb or sometimes worse until I finally found a good doctor who prescribed me enlafaxine for depression, anxiety and it supposedly helps add/adhd (seeing a specialist takes too long and cost too much) and quatipine so that I can go to sleep when I want to. If you're not sleeping well, then the best thing you can do for yourself is working on getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation makes you miserable and makes everything else harder. You don't realize how bad it gets untill you've had a month of sleeping like a normal person again lol
@@isaacjacobs4397 I will probably end up taking the medication route I’m sure. Depression runs rampant in my family, so I’m not sure if a therapist will be enough… but I wanted to start with a therapist and see if I can work on things before I go right to meds. We’ll see I guess. You aren’t lying about the sleep thing. If I have bad sleep, it makes everything 10x worse. I started running 1-2 miles 5 nights a week like 2 months ago and it helps TREMENDOUSLY with the sleep. I really need to eat better too, but I’m trying to do one thing at a time so I don’t get overwhelmed.
@mattiusbattol Well, if I were to channel my inner Carl Jung, I would say there are a few options still available to you, given your current situation. 1. Care less about whether the world approves of who you are or not. 2. Find people or communities, such as this community by example, that care more about you than the world does. 3. Polish your rough edges so you can appeal more to the mass while retaining your individuality. 4. Become an advocate for people who share in your experience and develop a support structure for people less fortunate or less capable of dealing with such circumstances. 5. Contemplate the broadest objective perspective you can, which is that the world is under no obligation to approve of who you decide to be, and you are under no obligation to conform to what the world believes is best. To be honest, I think a synthesis of all these would be most effective. Of course, this world is full of a huge range of perspectives and levels of understanding... I love the quote by Toni Morrison that says, "If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." More broadly meaning, if there's a level of understanding and inclusiveness you see as lacking in the world, become the means of increasing that understanding by sharing your unique perspective, and remove any expectations you may have about the success of such an endeavor and simply revel in the insight that such a pursuit would grant you. Take care of yourself, and I wish you well.
@mattiusbattol Neither was it keen on Christ, Socrates, Galileo, Nietschze, or any other free thinker or person who found themselves different from the mass. That doesn't mean they were wrong or that the world is right in its analysis of you up to now. The question is what can be done with such a state of affairs, and the answer is a lot more than you might think. Keep consuming information from insightful people, and keep looking for an avenue of support. I believe that with perseverance, you will find what you are looking for if you make it clear to yourself what that thing is. Hell, I'll even give you support and advice if you're willing to ask for it. But just remember, in the end, the only person who can save you is you. Others might help you on your journey, give you their wisdom, share their experience.. but what you do with it is your choice and yours alone. I wish you well, friend.
What I really wanted in life was to get buy a home, have a family, and spend lots of time having fun with mine and my husband's friends. Raise our kids together, play DnD after work, late nights at Denny's laughing together... It felt very possible back in the 2010's, when I was happy. But now I don't think we'll ever afford a home, let alone kids. My job doesn't even have maternity leave...most of our friends moved away for work, and those that are left have succumbed to mental illness and either become horrible people or never leave their rooms. All of the things I wanted (except for my husband) don't seem like they'll happen, and I'm already working 6 days a week. So now I have depression and am constantly exhausted.
@@vanillabeanlady I can’t say I have exactly what you feel but I have similar things. I’m a male and I have a house but I feel similar with life. Friends moved away etc. I wish I were the younger dreamy kid I used to be but that persons probably gone. I hate to say young and dumb but young and youthfully optimistic even naive so what. I hear people say hang in there and stuff like that but just know that we share similar feelings and that’s comforting sometimes
From one tired, exhausted American to another, I promise you its so much better in other countries. I know the thought of leaving the place that you know, and taking risk to move somewhere new is scary... but I promise it's worth it. Get out of America. It's going to shit and it won't get better for a long time, and there's no point in suffering just to "wait it out"
Yeah. I remember talking with my friends about how we would move out after highschool, and maybe start families and we could stay in the community we grew up in! Then everything became so insurmountable. Now I can’t afford to live where I was raised, can’t have a family or social life and all of my friends are no where near having any path toward that
Make new friends in the area. Have kids if you want them and live poor. Have family help with child raising if possible. Adjust to what you are given and work with new options.
@@Teachworth01 Don't flee to Australia, New Zealand, the UK or other western nations, all of us are falling, some of us are further along than America, Canada is a good example, so is the UK.
"Nobody will appreciate you as much as you deserve." this sentence alone can gave me so much reflection on the words that freeze up in my mouth and the words I'd want to hear.
Blows my mind that anyone could suggest Dr. K was undermining the public's faith in the psychiatric medical community. This channel single handedly bolstered my faith in psychiatry/therapy, which was at a zero prior to any of this content. So glad you got a green flag to continue doc, keep it up.
From an outsider's perspective, Doc is just another self-help podcaster with dubious credentials, targeting vulnerable people. Connsider this a legitimate proof that he knows what he's doing.
@@SmileytheSmile And here we are getting much needed and enriching help and not even paying for it. This man is in our corner and they're not going to knock him out of our ring.
Usually “boards” try to protect the status quo of the profession and the income of who they represent - just research the past of medical boards of USA! Just Wikipedia … some dodgy stuff!
I'm SO glad the board didn't interfere with your work and Healthy Gamer. You're literally the main reason I've taken my mental health problems seriously. I wouldn't have even considered going to a therapist if not for your deep dives and interviews and guides, I wouldn't have even KNOWN I needed therapy otherwise. Your work is very important. I'm very grateful to you Dr K and to your entire team, you guys are making good change in the world.
Are board’s objective though? 🧐 Usually “boards” try to protect the status quo of the profession and the income of who they represent - just research the past of medical boards of USA! Just Wikipedia … some dodgy stuff!
@@mikespike2099 Sure. Where there's authority, there's bound to be some degree of corruption. But having no authority isn't gonna work either, we need existing experts to double check other peoples work, just like Dr K said. It's a dilemma humanity has always had to deal with. And I'm no expert in this matter. I'm just glad the board decided not to interfere with Healthy Gamer. Which to me means they did their job well in this case, as Dr K clearly isn't a big figure of authority himself and is quite daring in his work. They could've just told him to quit the unusual aspects of HG but they didn't, and for that I'm glad.
@@rama-rao-y8u Short answer: because life is short. And because "hurt people hurt people". And I don't want to spend this short human life hurting myself and others, due to my own unresolved inner turmoil. And like I said, Healthy Gamer helped see that I do have unresolved problems that needs to be worked on. Longer answer: I've already spent 30 years living with my deteriorating mental health as is, and I don't see myself improving without directly dealing with it now. The way I see it, if I don't take care of my mind now, I'll spend the next 30 years suffering from the same exact shit without end. My life has been largely a mess so far, I don't want to live like this till I'm gone. Both of my parents had mental health problems, and both went with "don't need therapy, it doesn't work anyway". What really pushed me to the therapy path was my father's death, I never liked him for the deadbeat apathetic father that he was, but he died in an accident, having never in his life reached a resolution for his inner turmoil. I know he never found peace. He dealt with all of his problems using apathy and avoidance, and I do the same. I now have to go to therapy, because my parents refused to go to therapy when they themselves needed it, and I had to reap the results of their untreated mental health problems. You know, "hurt people hurt people". I don't want to cause the same hurt for people around me as I too get older. When I finally realized all of this, it was Healthy Gamer's Guide to mental health, the trauma guide especially, that really made me aware of my exact mental health problems and how deeply I'm effected by them. There's a lot of things you can do to improve your mental health even before you go to therapy if you're not convinced yet. For example I first looked into various types of therapy, like schema therapy for example, and did some self introspection and journaling based on those therapies. Not all kinds of therapy are suitable for all people, so it's worth it to kinda shop around and see what is available and what works for you. I apologize for the lengthy reply, but I hope any of this helps you in any way, and I wish you luck on your journey
There's no reward for hard work anymore. Working hard? Sorry, your rent is too high. Working hard? Sorry, can't afford a house. Working hard? Sorry, your car just broke snd it's going to cost thousands and this is going to wipe out your bank account. Working hard? Your groceries are almost double the amount they cost before. Working hard? Here's your manager telling you all the other shit you have to do on top of everything else you're doing. Working hard? Here's a pile of health problems that are going to cost more money that you already don't have anyway. Working hard just means working even harder because it's never enough and you feel like a hamster on a wheel going absolutely nowhere at all. This is a huge, huge problem.
@@TaniaPomalesArt I kinda hope for a pill of some sort just to escape the prison of life! Like an ex1t pill. Like get all the help you can but if you tried and life ain’t great then goodbye 👋
@@mikespike2099 wow I hear ya. Not there yet but damn things have changed. I’m 53 and I was super dreamy as a younger person like the future was gonna be amazing. Now everything seems like hard work to just function.
@@MichaelSmith-uy4ui yep ignorance of how society actually works is bliss… it’s modern day slavery out there and the only thing we truly have power over is when we elect to choose “enough” - I am a big advocate for getting all the help you need, therapy connecting with friends and family - but I do feel it is cruel that those who do want to sign out having to do so in traumatic ways. There should be an option of a peaceful exit on our own terms (of course corporations do not like this)
No reward anymore? There has never been any reward for most people. For the majority of history only royalty and nobility owned property, and poor people regularly died of malnutrition. Only a very few generations have been able to afford a significantly higher standard of living than average, and there is a very simple reason for it - labour shortage. After the Black Death in England, entire villages on the chalk plains in the south east were abandoned by people who could now choose where to live and work. They could all afford to move away because there was such a shortage of labour that the working class actually had leverage over the landowners who needed to employ them. It was one of the incidents that began the long road to workers rights. For the same reasons, two world wars in the beginning of the 20th Century created such a shortage of labour that the generations in the middle of the century had considerably better standards of living than average. We are currently experiencing the norm, not the exception.
A major thing I've learned over the past 5 years is that I don't like working. I'm fine doing it in the moment, but it doesn't give me any sort of fulfillment or satisfaction. So I chose to dial it back. (working way below my potential) I no longer have deadlines weeks or months into the future. Now when I end my workday, I start living. It works for me. I enjoy life again and feel less insecure. I still have things to work on, mainly friendships, but generally I'm doing good since I accepted this part of me.
@Ms10000123 yeah I've been having to learn this too. I'm 20 and just quit an electrician apprenticeship because that trajectory would have me working 60 to 70 hours a week with high turnover.
The thing is though people don't work to live now, they work to live peacefully down the line meaning retirement or early retirement. There are young who people go into debt to "live" but then come to find they need to pay back money that wasnt theirs and are working still in their 50s-60s 🙃 Who cares about family or a house, make sure you work enough to retirement comfortably
Not just work. The outlook of the future looks worse and worse. There is division among everyone and no one wants to step over the boundary while media push propaganda that defy human nature of male and female. This world is disgusting, no wonder depression is on the rise.
The problem is when I get bored, and start to pay attention to the voices in my mind all I hear is I DONT WANT THIS, I NEED TO EXCAPE OR DISAPPEAR, I HATE THIS WORK, THIS PEOPLE, NOTHING MAKES SENSE, THERE IS NO MEANING TO WORKING SO HARD, PLEEEASEEE THIS HAS TO END. So I go back to numbing myself because omg I just cant work like that
Your correct. We continue to work but humans still do the same things. You are correct and all these people are just going with the flow because it's easier to just go with it. ALL this work and we aren't any closer to world peace at all.
Because it isn't worth Jack shit to work nowadays. Your job is meaningless, it can barely afford you anything and you might just be laid off any day to satisfy the shareholders. Capitalism is broken.
I feel this comment a lot as I’ve been through something similar. However, IMO I think this isn’t objectively the only way to see the world but instead it’s more a question of the lens/perspective you have and thus the cognitive appraisals you make about life. However, gaining a new perspective isn’t as easy as just adopting one, it actually takes commitment to LEARNING a new one despite it being harder and gaining you no extra benefits in the immediate short term. Helps to have guidance I.e. therapy, dr k, supportive people or family around you.
I am 32 and fed up with this BS world. Life is not worth living if you have to work 5 days a week and have no time for the things that really matter, connection with other humans and the natural world around us. Absolutely sick of it.
If you work 5 days a week, you do have some time to do the things that you believe are important. No one has unlimited time to do whatever they want. To say that life is not worth living because you have to work -- this seems like perhaps not the real problem. Maybe it's the type of work, or your workplace is toxic. Or your feelings from other negative experiences are contaminating your present life. I ran into a homeless guy a few years ago... he had come up to my car to ask for some money. We got talking. He told me he was on methadone treatments (for opioid addiction) -- was homeless, but had become mentally stable. He was very grateful that his dad was letting him visit the family home and see his brothers and sisters. His mom had been murdered a few years previously... which was very traumatic for him. He then said something that blew my mind. "My life got a lot better when I stopped feeling sorry for myself." 🤯 I was shocked... and humbled! Here was this guy, homeless for about a year, in addiction recovery, but refused to indulge in self-pity. We do need pity sometimes. We need compassion and understanding. But self-pity can become a negative force. It can become automatic, when instead we could take the opportunity to encourage ourselves or to find encouragement. I hope to encourage you that life is worth living.
@@thwartificeryeah no. It’s called *learned* helplessness for a reason. What the research shows is after X attempts to exert control, people eventually conclude that the effort to fix the situation is wasted and so they stop trying.
@@thwartificer (Seligman) I found it. Fair enough. Control is learned. However, if I’m reading correctly, helplessness/passivity is not the default. The circuits to DETECT control are automatic, and then if control is not detected, there is an automatic response of passivity/helplessness. When later placed in an environment where control is possible, the circuits that DETECT control are still incapacitated. So I don’t think it’s unfair to say that our default is “confidence” in the sense that, our default is to DETECT control and the ACT and LEARN. When unable to DETECT control repeatedly, it results in an automatic response that shuts off detection circuits, and so no action and subsequent learning is attempted.
It’s so calming to see someone in a position of leadership be able to address and talk about legal matters calmly, and factually and not just self-serving propaganda bluster… that’s what I’ve been used to seeing for the last almost decade. The way Dr. K breaks everything down with genuine caring I’m always astounded by.
37:57 anchor 41:30 societal expectations 50:30 reconnt with yourself 53:30 healing vs accomlishment 55:00 im tolerating it for me 1:01:50 external motivation 1:18:50 when progress becomes mistake 1:31:00 quit job cycle
You're absolutely 100 % helpful. There are so many people who don't have the money or insurance for counseling, and we learn so much from you, in bite size chunks, that are perfect for adhd brains. Even if we had insurance, a lot of us would never be able to force ourselves to actually arrive at an appointment, and not miss the appointment. We also have a major obstacle trying to learn from books. Plus we can PAUSE the video as many times as necessary, while we jump up and get something else done. We appreciate you and your videos greatly. ❤
I just realized how insidious the teaching of my parents. They invalidate my feeling and they question the things that I said to myself. Whenever I have a feeling such as sadness, most of their responses are "It's only your feeling" get over it. Whenever I have faith in myself and want to do something great, "What you said is not that important". Those word repeated multiple times in my life as I grow up. No wonder I am struggling to navigate life. Instead of using my emotion as a compass, I was questioning it. Instead of using my own word to go to my own destination that I feel rewarded, I questioned them. Questioning takes time, energy and effort. With no anchor on how to live life, I running in circle not making a progress while being tired of running and running. As I am get in touch with my feeling , as I self validate as I self appreciate, this get better. I feel the fulfillment in me. The funny thing is that I have more conflict with the people that I deal with without this mindset. However, I found the satisfaction in following what do I believe is true. Even I kept changing that believe, I have my body, logic and awareness to give me feedback on what are the things that I want to believe in.
beautifully said and inspiring. This is similar to what im experiencing, im having more conflict with family. But have loved myself more today so much more. Been getting into learning about somatic experiencing. Basically feeling emotions again. It's taking some time, but it's been very fulfilling to cry again for myself. I had wanted to cry for myself, I"d always done it for other people. And this past week I'm connected to my inner child. I've been having empathy for my abusers. But still doing what I want to do.
I feel you, I really do, but to be honest, when I look at people who only learned to trust their feelings and never doubt anything about themselves, I too often see nothing but self-centered enormous ego, no matter how hard I look. While it definitely takes time and effort, doubt leads to analysing, analysing leads to, even if sometimes flawed and incomplete, but understanding. And rational understanding of yourself and others, paradoxically, may lead to the actual empathy and some other deep insights in human minds and relationship. This, or I'm just trying to justify that all my suffering with this mindset werent all for naught.
Many of us are done working for masters who treat us like property. I work as a DSP now and own a small farm, soon the farm earnings will outpace the 9-5. And ill probably keep both for a few more years while i put in more infrastructure, my whole goal on the farm was to take out zero debt and grow it that way. Its been slow but steady. Ive already told my kids when they are grown i have no problems letting them live there, but we will be putting up 12x24 mini homes for them to grow in, when or if they want to launch they can. Making my life recession proof has been the goal since 2020 and we are about 40% there. We need more market farmers in this country, i belive alot of our social issues and mental health issues will dissolve when we get back to our roots.
I wrote it down, in case I might forget again: "the real tragedy of living up to societal expectation is that it doesn't make you happy. When you live up to societal expectations all you feel is relief. You dont feel pride. Pride comes from within. So, this is the problem of societal expectations: if you dont live up to them, you feel bad and even if you do live up to them, all you feel is relief, you're never getting your head above water, right. It's a lose-lose-situation. And if we play this lose-lose-game, no wonder we're tired."
Eh. Poor reasoning. If you're so good at what you do, you'll have no problem finding someone willing to pay you for the work. If the job is easy enough that it doesn't grant a high wage than you aren't working hard to begin with anyway. Otherwise doing so is fine if you're content with where you're at. If you're okay with your position in life than I 100% agree with not working extra to improve yourself
@@DreadPagesI assume that that's not a rationalization, but rather an observation. The very incentives of employers is to get as much work for as little pay as possible. Sometimes other incentives such as loyalty and public perception come into play, but most of the time, the easiest way to make a profit is to keep costs as low as possible.
@@DreadPageslaughs in massage therapist. If you're so good at what you do, then your chiro will.... Ultimately ignore you and never check in on you. Your clients come in and out and don't even know how to spread your information the same way like back in 80s. You get told the only way to get better is paying $150 to some guy who knows how to do the same exact job as you but gets Da ReZuLtZS
@@DreadPages Not true, the majority of people believe in authority and would choose a big company with a history over Joe shome, even if Joe Shmoe is better and cheaper.
This is the reason I feel I’m fortunate in the career I’ve fallen into. In Bartending and serving, the higher value service you provide is directly proportional to how much money you make. Things like personality and physical appearance obviously have an impact as well, but I’ve been blessed in those ways I feel, and I’m only capitalizing on the things outside of my control. Emotional burnout is definitely a thing, but the longer I spend in the industry, the better I get at handling that and not letting the nature of the job jade me. I love slinging drinks on a busy Saturday night too so that’s a plus🙃
Alok, man... you really are the pillar we need in this world. Im so grateful to have discovered this channel: the whole gang of HGG have made me realized how I could do something to feel good about myself. I love you guys so much!!!
Thanks so much for addressing the reprimand right up front and in such a transparent way. I've always been very impressed with the quality of information available on your channel, and I say this as someone who already has a great therapist IRL.
What, he didn't even say what they did to get the reprimand... ...he just said _"We got a reprimand for undermining the publics faith in the profession, but they found that we did nothing wrong and they don't want us to change anything"_ lmao. So the board just slapped on a reprimand for the heck of it, I guess? 🤷♀️ If I missed something please enlighten me.
yea I love how he addressed it with no hate in his heart at all. and Im so glad to hear the HG content we've been viewing doesn't violate any sorta ethical or safety issues. those interviews are my favorite vids and I hope they never stop
@@handsomebear.I’m ignorant on the subject, but my guess is that it was like an audit. A cause for concern was brought forth and investigated. After investigation nothing bad faith was concluded. (Will edit if I figure out otherwise)
My favorite video still remains where you talk about the fact that depression can include overly rational thinking and misaligned rational thinking - its always in my memory whenever I start to feel depressed so thank you for that. Very grateful.
Shewt. I was kind of freaking out because I’m having such LOGICAL thoughts of ending it now. Not desperate or anything. Just logical. I think I need some help.
I was addicted to heroin, one day I woke up.....in jail...after 10 days of withdrawals and I thought.....ya this is probably where I should get off this train....in school, decent job, family took me back, but still struggle, the change is a network and tools to get myself right, it's doable but it's extremely difficult if you are alone, nothing is done alone EVER.
I just hit one year 3 months off that shit after 11 years using. The courts don't care, but I have decided that even if they send me back to prison cause i cant pay them the money they want, at least i am doing the real work and trying to be a better me. I wish you luck, my fellow ex heroin addict
I've cried. I've cried so much as a man. It's my home, it's my time. It's my life. I am not my father. I don't just want to be a man's man. I want to do what I need to by the best of my ability but I want the ability to feel and cry every year. Empathy for myself first. that's all there is first to put the mask on yourself first in a plane crashing down. Why am I not allowed to have a degree, a music life, love and dance while crying? What contradiction is there? Yours. So leave it, Don't involve me. I want to feel alive every year.
I don't cry a lot, but i don't see anything wrong with it. (unless you're literally just complaining all the time and never own your own flaws etc.) I generally hate how the blue pilled part society finds it perfectly just, to accuse you of "stealing", while they have the audacity to expect of you, to dedicate your life to creating Tax revenue and see nothing wrong with it. I'm just so done with this shit. It's not only extremely superficial to base your identity on status and materialism, it's also the perfect recipe for making you easy to manipulate. Not only are they screwing themselves over without realizing, they are acting all chauvinistic about it, because you seem like the idiot to them for not being an idiot. Shaming people into submission creates a bunch of shaming NPCs and here we are now. It's literally the root cause of extremism, because those who don't apply to their worldview, are automatically challenging it. And they don't want that. That's why they're throwing around their shaming attempts, which i've stopped taking serious years ago. ...And i can recommend. Don't ever listen to people who need to force or manipulate you into submission in order for you to not be bothered by them. Those people are always ignorants without an own moral compass.
@@Anonym-yr4qn Emotions are trivial as sex in modern times. It can all be presented the good, the bad and the ugly, but it's still part of us. Moderation is the act of moderating. To moderate these things is to not call for it's removal, but to always be alert and present to see the good, the bad, the ugly. My future kid one day, might cry in front of me, and it will be up to me to decide if it is an uglier future for me to help for his perspective, or to show what's wrong of his perspective.
I feel like the biggest problem, at least from my own narrow prespective. Is not that life is super hard, but that its pretty hard and also feels pointless sometimes. You know you wont starve, the avarage internet doomer can afford to be a neet for most of their lives, yet if they want their own home they often need to work multiple jobs. Youre not working to keep your family afloat, to see a better world, or for your children to see a better world, youre often just working so you can say that youre an acceptable adult, you can live with your parents and be a neet, or live by yourself with 100x the stress and worse economic conditions but you get to say you did your part. Its not like we have lost the ability to tough it up, we have been doing that for most of history, its just that now there doesnt seem to be as much meaning or reason to do so
I've been saying it feels like we live in an era of bread and circuses. We can buy all the entertainment and gadgets we could ever want, but buying/having necessities are constantly increasing in price/inaccessibility and becoming more unstable. Housing, education, job security, healthcare, environmental disasters, etc.
People aren't motivated bc they're not following their soul's passion. Feeling forced to do the jobs outlined by society and family is obviously not the answer. Some are better at making themselves do it but their misery tells us all we need to know. The system is going through an overhaul slowly but it's happening as we are leaving the dark age and more are awakening to many truths.
The problem is also how the workplace change. Everything needs to be as efficient and cost reducing as possible. Throw in minimum worker, get the maximum out. I worked in a coffee shop and the manager would literally have a timesheet how long every task should take. When we reached it, he shortened it and made it a completion. Like, let the people just work.
On my previous job everyone got stressed out , overloaded, we dont even have time do chill out and talk for a couple of minutes anymore...... the vibe now Is heavy and no one want to be there anymore, Its like a graveyard and I dont even blame the owners because they are trying to save the business but........ what a hell happened to society? I trully wonder If worth be alive on this world....
@raphaels33 im seriously struggling to find a job that isn't like that anymore and trust me, I've had quite a few jobs at this point. Things aren't how things used to be
Hey Dr. K, I just want to thank you for everything you do in this channel. As someone who can no longer afford therapy and meds, your content has helped me a lot and it's not an exaggeration to say that it's one of the few reasons I'm still alive. Thank you so much.
Scrubbed toilets, waited tables, bathroom attendant, tolerated sexual harassment, hostile style employee housing, homeless shelter, rejected by State resources, construction crew, berated by customers, double crossed by co-workers, employers hire only cheap labor, non negotiable employment terms, unsafe working conditions, perverts and charlatans, 100+ job applications... Don't let me forget.. Pay-to-Play! FML I think I'm entitled to every bit of that meme in the thumbnail.
I dont really believe the "employers only hiring cheap labor". How are you even only running into those jobs. Unless you're an asylum seeker or something? Just go to a temp agency and they set you up very easily and you get paid fairly. At least not below what most people get.
@@Berserk1Manga Lived experience. I'm not the asylum seeker- I've had my job sent to India. I watch employers plug in J1s because they cost less. Employers get excited about my resume, book an interview and then realize I'm old enough to know my actual value. I've lost to internal hires- because that is less expensive and more efficient for the company. Do you ever negotiate the terms of your employment? Do you ever go for a raise? ...Do you ever need customer service? Who answers the phone when you call?
Being annoying is super subjective. Especially without any specifics. Talk with anyone neurodivergent and you'll find a lot of alienation because of nothing ever specified. Nothing ever addressed just, "You're annoying," and you're not allowed to ask why and if you do you're told you're annoying for asking. Often it's because they don't know why and it's annoying to be called out and not having an answer. They're too proud to say, "I don't know." It goes the opposite where neurodivergent people are more often fine with each other but find allistic ("normal") people very annoying so it's really that it's about, to put it one way, being on the same wavelength. It's just that allistic people, some even call them NPCs, are far more common and so neurodivergent people usually end up feeling like they're fundamentally broken failures. Not saying there aren't assholes or annoying people out there just addressing what's more important to a community of a higher concentration of neurodivergents.
ADHDers are often treated as annoying in much the same way that autistic people are even though it's a different kind of annoying to different people but you just lumped all nerved virgin people as autistic by saying allistic are the opposite of neurodivergent. That isn't true. Allistic only the opposite of autistic.
Allegedly everywhere is *supposed to* provide "reasonable accommodations" to the disabled, ie, neurodivergent... *BUT* the reality is that nowhere actually does. The owness is always on *you* despite exponentially more challenges and no means with which to address them. Effectively, they can always discriminate against you. And just find some other excuse. Like literally set you up to have cause for firing. Meanwhile the same exact types of people think they should be permanently exempt from having to pay for those they deem unfit to work. Yet you're expected to pay into a broken and corrupt system in which the resources are never actually there when you do actually need them. Everything is backwards and evil and I don't think that even a great depression tier crash would even result in any kind of course correction, as everything is permanently backwards and evil and bought and paid for to the point where the peasants who slave away every day for endless decades to make them all their money will be the ones circling the dust bowl slowly dying, while they receive bailouts for being "too big to jail."
Always love and appreciate Dr.K’s input. Year 2 on therapy and psychiatry after being inspired by Dr.K and Ive had great results. Listening to Dr.K makes me understand things better on a deep level and I appreciate this. Thank you Dr. K.
Undermining public trust in the institution is an absolutely wild complaint, instead of addressing America's lack of care of mental health to begin with. Along with the fact doctors give out anti depressive meds like candy cause then they get more kickbacks out of it. Maybe address the fact people cant afford therapy to begin with and channels like these can be their outlets. Im glad Dr.K is taking the more mature route, just a complaint like that seems BS at best when you look at the entire system.
What are you on about lol, you think the board shouldn't be able to reprimand him because they haven't singlehandedly fixed Americas mental health issues? :V That's some *_wild_* whataboutism.
I've been through some malpractice while in foster care etc. to hear someone care and take true responsibility makes me cry. Thank you, I expected nothing less
Congrats on passing your evaluations, Dr K! It must feel great to have had this happen: forced to take a pop quiz and get all the answers right! 🎉🎉🎉 I enjoy your content btw. You make academic info available to the masses while making it relatable, understandable, and nonjudgemental. 💚
I’ve been watching Dr K for years, but lately his talks have just been hitting differently. I don’t know what it is, but all the talks are very relevant to questions I am working on, and the insights and reminders are super valuable 🙏Thanks, Dr K
Jobs used to be defined and rewarding because you saw how much you achieved. Now it’s endless emails, paperwork, tick boxes without achieving anything in real life (just a tick on paper). Corporations say look after your mental health whilst telling you they always need more and you need to be relentlessly dedicated to their company at all costs. I’m in the medical profession and yet I feel little of what I do actually equates to the patient (when it absolutely should). It’s all hoops and tick boxes :(
A great analogy for the slow down to catch up thing is that if you want a satellite to catch up to a satellite, you want to slow down not speed up. This is because the faster it moves the more it moves laterally for every movement downward towards the earth. Slower makes a smaller rounder orbit which is essentially a shortcut to catch up to the other satellite.
@@vincentm7150 right. But that goes back to his life isn't a race because the start and finish line aren't the same for everyone but you can catch up and keep pace with someone for a while
@@vincentm7150 Depends how you define the laps. If the laps are about the money, maybe. But if the laps are about happiness, probably not. So slow down. You can't lose a race you don't participate in.
I'm 30 completly depressed, unmotivated , got fired of my job ,no perspective no girlfriend , no fun....... I wonder when the hell the good part on the life will come...
Bro 30 is young for a guy you got this! Men at 30 are still young and wild im 33 and dont trust guys my age at 35 you will start to come into your true self. Again your ok just keep trying! aslo pro tip if you keep going for the same kind of women and things keep failing apart go for a different kind of girl someone your less attracted to. It works its Psychology.
Jobs aren't really what changed, it's everything else that changed. Work is easy. It might by physically tiring, but that's a good kind of tiring. The problem is intellectual and emotional exhaustion, and work doesn't usually cause that. Democracy is perpetually under attack from actors who seek supreme power, and that's exhausting. News outlets and talking heads are constantly telling bold-faced lies and never see consequences, and that's exhausting. Corporations are constantly acting above the law and never see consequences, and that's exhausting. Our consumerist hobbies are constantly losing quality and gaining price, and that's exhausting. Social media and the internet is a constant fight where nobody understands anything but it's still hugely influential, and that's exhausting. Rents, mortgages, utilities, tax and food costs are all perpetually rising while wages stagnate, and that's exhausting. Socialisation has become a game where every roll of the die guarantees failure, and that's exhausting. Dating has become a minefield where nobody knows what they want except for people who want things they can't have, and that's exhausting. Having a family is now beyond most people's financial means, and even those who can afford it can't afford to do the job well, but we still see family as essentially the sole metric of life success because we can't imagine anything else, and that's exhausting. And on a personal note, it's also exhausting to have realised that I focused on the wrong things as a teenager and now it's going to take me 10+ years of hard work to get good at the things I've discovered I want to be good at, and getting an ADHD diagnosis costs £1000 just so I can start to get medicines that might help with this, and because I can't afford that, that's exhausting. Compared to all that, going into the office five times a week and just processing work assignments is a breeze.
All the things you say have changed have actually always been that way, with the exception of social media (maybe in the past you could've subbed the word "religion" for "social media"). Nothing is really new or worse. Chances are that these things are going to stay the way they are, continuing in endless cycles of improving and deteriorating. It makes total sense to feel overwhelmed. But, since you just listed 12 awful things, can you list 12 awesome things? Where are you putting your focus? How are you fortunate? What are you proud of? What makes you smile? What are your freedoms?
Very very surprised that the incredible service being done in this channel could be seen as damaging in some way. It makes very apprehensive and does not increase my confidence on the "establishment". Really hope it is a genuine concern from the board and not a fear response to the success and reach of this channel that blatantly puts a harsh mirror to the face of the profession and its underachievement. Glad to know that you, Dr. Alok, are OK with it and even can see some positives coming out of that.
We need to "go through the shit placed from the higher ups/older people because it's what everyone does" is the most BS argument for traumatizing younger/lesser experienced people, and yet it's everywhere, what a world of joke we live in
This was a brilliant stream. The ideas and theories Dr. K presents here line up exactly with what I've seen the past 6 months. I believe this self disconnect and the current societal system will bring a new Era of understanding to the human condition in all aspects. I could be talking about my back end tho
Ive been in and out of rehabs and psych wards since 1999, I've seen the needs of the industry and where the industry has declined through the years. You're bringing the needs forward. I applaud you for your work. Thank you God for another Sober day! 🤗💕🥰
Fantastic job with how you handled the investigation. Many other mental health content creators have not shown the same professionalism. I suspect your ability to remain professional is grounded in the ethical care and congruence you demonstrated as you developed this program. A clear conscience shines under pressure.
"You cant meditate on an empty stomach" One time i was meditating and doing a body scan. Tl;dr, i realized i mentally block my hunger by flooding my brain with anxious thoughts. Like i did not feel the horrible ripping pain (if i had been standing, id be doubled over) of hunger until i FORCED my attention back into my stomach over and over again. i IMMEDIATELY turned to anxious ruminations the second i could feel the pain, IMMEDIATELY stopping the pain. I dont think this at all refutes the idea behind the quote (i had the ability to feed myself, or this wouldnt have been a helpful revelation), but i thought it was really neat to realize how much pain i was in from ignoring my pain. Like a superpower honestly, it blew my mind about what were capable of.
Just found you and got in from your talk with Dr Mike about. You are the most beautiful person, thank you for deciding to not go into the research. I’m still watching this, but the underlying meditation you maintained with him during that interview was one of the most important gnostic experiences of my life.
Dr.K I would LOVE to be interviewed by you! My life is always one step forward 8-10 steps back, and I'm truly becoming disheartened. I wish you could give me some advice. Your work on this channel has been incredible and amazing to hear/watch!
Really happy everything went through ok, seriously we need MORE of you and your team like seriously serious........ They should make you as a role model/occupation model for this new modern world
I'm goimg through therapy and I want to share that what Dr K says here is very, very true. Especially the internal willpower... It's very powerful and it's there. It has taken me a while (I was with another therapist I didn't click with for a year and I lost a lot of time there).
I would agree. There are a lot of other factors in it as well. I find that societal expectations tend to only benefit the society itself. If the society you are living in doesn't also benefit the individual, then conforming to the standards of society is a one way relationship. Of course, it can be hard to tell whether or not those expectations work. The most telling thing for me is whether or not a society is sustainable, the expectations aren't too much for its denizens, and the expectations keep most of its denizens in check. If the society is falling apart, then worrying about what it wants from you is a moot point, as it will not be able to provide the security and benefits the society would theoretically be there for. If the expectations are too great for the individual, then society will collapse anyway. Society is a pyramid, and without its base it will topple. Many historians and scholars tend to agree that a society will collapse when "the individual" becomes corrupted. So without a proper set of rights and responsibilities to guide the common man it can lead to chaos in another way. I find that it's a balance. If a society doesn't provide enough to it's people, then its a one way relationship that will crush the individual. If the individual becomes unreasonable in large enough numbers, the society collapses, and everyone looses its benefits. The problem about what is realistic for both sides changes drastically based on the climate. Right not it is not a good expectation to own a house, two cars, and be debt free. The amount of people that can pull that off are dwindling at a rapid rate due to the economy. This was something that would be normal, or even expected before the 2000s. As times change, so should the expectations. Otherwise we become rigid, stale, the society breaks, and collapses.
I have to disagree, or at least suggest another criteria. Expectations related to personal factors such as gender, heritage, physical appearance, etc. only put pressure on the individual and potentially create shame without benefitting anyone. In general, I would argue that any expectations to conform to standards that cause dissatisfaction in the individual without benefitting the community can be considered bad.
In other words - they are okay as long as you fit or at least have means to eventually fit them. And if you dont - who said your opinion ever mattered anyway?
As a software engineer, the concept of "disparaging the profession" is completely alien. Programmers disparage our profession constantly! And a lot of really good work comes out of those complaints about how things are, and how things might be better. A reprimand for saying "this is how we're doing a bad job" is unthinkable in my work.
I'm a software dev and it's totally normal when some tech is being pushed on us (Currently kubernetes to replace a sunseted DC/OS) that we make jokes about how "Oh yeah, this is gonna solve all our problems right?!" and we all laugh cause we know it won't. But, we have to do it, so we'll make it work!
My work ensures that I see the purpose of life. It gives me security, routine, income, and therefore the freedom to do the things I want. Because I don't have many friends and often feel lonely, weekends feel like survival. I am happy when I can go back to work on Monday and see people. This sometimes makes me sad and it all relates to my childhood (C-PTSD). Now, I am undergoing therapy, and it is going well. The period in which I had to accept jobs to survive is over. I have worked hard to get and keep a better job. I can say that my childhood trauma has shaped me into who I am now and has sometimes even helped me. Not long ago, I discovered that I was performing to be accepted. Now the time has come to love and accept myself. To do what I want, to listen to myself, and to love myself. My favorite quote: "Isn't it odd. We can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside." Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse.
Had seen this in my recommends for a good minute and finally put my ego aside and pressed play. So very glad that I did, as so much of this pertains to who I am now. I have had a substantial amount of noise in my past as to why I CAN'T. The difference now is I simply dont listen to those voices anymore. Rather, I focus on what I CAN do. God bless you and your team Dr. K. This particular video has helped tremendously : )
every time i open HG videos i hit the like button and then every 20 minutes i have the urge to hit that like again and again. thank you very much for your work!
Dr. K, I want to comment on something you mentioned at 1:02:00. I am one of the clever few who “crafted my environment To create motivation” and I achieved the “ABILITY TO CHILL” And not work, but like you said I became dependent on that environment. The internal motivation the drive, ability to focus, the energy was still lacking and now I have understood thanks to listening to this presentation a deeper part of myself. It is tough to find what motivates me for my whole life.
55:58 "Competing interest and overcoming addiction" This was one of his first videos back from 2019. Such an important concept that Dr. K has been explaining since the beginning. I love these kind of references.
As a student of psychology who has witnessed the slow mental decay of my community, the general problem of mental health makes me heart race. It's a bit terrifying. I can only hope to have the courage to fight this tide
I have the luxury to work 4 days a week, free Fridays for chores to keep our family apartment clean (meaning it's another 7+ hours work keeping up what has not been cleaned). However this day keeps me mentally away from my job, so even if I do laundry, clean all the rooms from top to down, etc. I can go to weekend with a mental healthier state, cause what I do on Fridays feels something that is necessary and important. I am doing an IT bs job more or less for the good salary, but I am currently just working for getting money monthly
Its kinda shocking that it takes 7 hours to clean an apartment. If you aren't dealing with physical constraints, you might try researching "speed cleaning" or professional cleaning techniques. Can your family pitch in? Good luck and good on you!
Dr. K is such a mind-blowingly good communicator of science and medicine, and he understands all of the difficult ethical issues involved, and works very hard to uphold them - all of that is on display in this preamble. Such respect, sir.
I have so much respect for you. As a “leader/founder” of a self-care rpg app for adhders, you embody all the things I hope I can be someday. Direct, humble, curious, and obviously smart. Thanks for all you do
Thank you! I was literally struck, when you started talking about the internal motivation of the viscious desparate cycle of job, or relationship. I find that neither motivation to make some money works, since its just a way of reducing suffering but actually never takes you anywhere. Or some people would say, your motivation for the action should be your calling, passion, all that crap which is fed to people by internet gurus. Focus on 'building something' is so different from everything else I heard before and gives completely different perspective on work itself. Thank you again for that.
I can't wait to post a comment until I've seen the whole video, it's very long and I have ADHD so I'm not sure when I'll finish watching. 😂 I want to say I'm so glad the board was reasonable and saw the value in what you do. You got me worried there for a second. Doing this in a different way is exactly why you are able to help so many people. I've watched some great psychiatrists on UA-cam (sometimes just for fun and out of interest rather than necessity) and I really think you are THE doctor to listen to before anyone else. I totally agree that the system can't handle what's going on, and you are way ahead. When I heard you talk about the 'shit life syndrome' I was like my God, you actually KNOW what the problem is. And that was just one video, I've seen some more since then and you are always spot on about things that most people don't understand. Even when I can't instantly implement your advice, it feels great having an understanding of the situation thanks to you. It's good to know that there is someone out there who CAN help where other professionals are failing. You are very precious, Dr. K. Never stop doing this. Just looking at the thousands of comments is enough to see the extent of your influence. You are literally saving people's lives one video at a time. I could go on, but the most important thing is: by doing it your way you are changing the world rather than just helping us fit into it. We all see what's happening and we don't need therapists to just tell us how to get by. We have to learn how to make the world better as we heal, and you're a huge part of that process. Thank you so much for bringing awareness to us all and for saying it like it is. Everyone who walks away from your video and the comment section feeling a little better - and that will be most of your viewers - will tell you you're doing the right thing.
On the reprimand: I’m glad to hear from the Board on whether or not Dr. K’s “interviews” crossed the line into therapy. I’ve learned so much from that content, but I was always a little wary about where that line was. I trust that the standards are high, which is good because the stakes are also quite high. And it’s good to hear Dr. K speak so highly of the process. It speaks to a good-faith effort to avoid doing harm, and that means a lot when so much good work is being done.
Being a part of a community and working towards a common goal is what will give you sense of purpose and belonging. There isn't that sense of community left anymore in the west, everyone is atomized and you can see it in the rise of depression.
I honestly don't think humans will be able to achieve that deep trust and connection with the community in this reality. We would need matrix for that, or for irl - fundamentally change human DNA to make it impossible to be bad person purposefully. Both will happen, likely within a few hundred years from now
Very helpful video! This study and discussion about how we feel about our existence is one of the most fascinating things to me! I know from my own experience it's always felt like theres this internal and external expectation to exist a certain way. - I work a decent job and get told it won't be enough to provide a family or enjoy live. - I try to enjoy my passions but told it's not financially valuable or weird -Will get yelled at screamed at years of people's experiences, thoughts, complaints, and all of that gets internalized and never releases as well as with my sense of self. You basically feel like your stuck in a box and when you try to break out you're told you should be grateful and happy but it doesn't work. You wanna live but you don't want to have to scream and rage in intense ways just for people to just accept your existence instead of trying to force you to their believes. It's been rough but it's helped a lot finding moments to myself where I just exist. Those little moments where you can reconnect with yourself. I hope everyone here can find more of those moments for themselves too and remember to take care of yourself
1:27:50 "Its a real tragedy, that society does not allow us to be bad at things" 1:28:20 "I really need to get my act together because there is 30 minutes left and this has been one post" Not even a minute apart man
Congrats to you! Plus, it’s normal for docs and other professionals to have complaints and self governance (boards) to protect everyone, especially the public. It’s important. It’s often not a third party. It’s a group of peers, often doing volunteer work. Thanks to Dr. K for showing up, explaining the process, doing a good job, being transparent and humble about it. It’s normal for docs to have an investigation by peers. Your channel is awesome. From a fellow mental health professional. Bravo 👏 I forward your videos to my own clients as additional support to their therapy. You rock!
Basically society, essentially the people in it, expect you to devote 100% into fulfilling their expectations, even though they contradict themselves in more ways than one, and any shortcomings, even if it is a natural disaster or accident, is always you to blame, and their shortcomings is also your fault, and any form of leisure is unproductive unless you are hitting the gym very hard as a leisure activity, otherwise all leisure activity should have monetary gains as a goal.
It took me 15 years to graduate with only bachelor's degrees. Keep going I'm not a success story, but I did learn the value of PACING FOR SUSTAINABILITY. I ended up getting out of the cult I was raised in. Success
The only thing I've ever found that felt WORTH pursuing is spiritual growth... I can't find a single other thing I want to create, do, or strive for. I want to grow spiritually and when I'm feeling a little confident, I want to help others do the same... I find enjoyment in solving problems for other people (SOMETIMES doing the labor required to solve the problem)...
Thank you Dr.K for helping others and trying to help Reckful to the best of your abilities and for the content you make. We'll all remember and miss Reckful. RIP Reckful, you were and still are a legend.
I got my first job at 14 and have been working ever since. I'm not even 30 yet and I'm so done. Fuck working. My father was loyal to a "job" for roughly 40 years and right before retirement they threw him away. Fuck that
It took me eight years to graduate from college, and in the end I had selected three majors, completed two of them, completed a minor, and studied abroad in Japan for six months. I'm not even remotely using anything I studied in in any way that results in any sort of financial gain, but I really enjoyed and still enjoy having built up a base of knowledge around topics that are of interest to me, to include coming here to continue learning about psychology and spirituality, with the medical side being a bit of icing on the cake. Life is absolutely not a race. Just do you.
Dr. K’s saved me from myself on many occasions over the last 2-3 years. I’d been barely surviving on $700 - $900 a month in Texas, and his content is the only help I can realistically afford. I’m finally moving in with a lifelong friend, and we’ve just started making money power-washing peoples’ driveways and homes to increase our income and become functional/productive members of society. Without Dr. K’s content I am 100% certain I’d be dead or in prison right now.
Wishing you the absolute best ♡.
@BlakeElliott35 That is awesome! Rooting for you!
@BlakeElliott35 Good for you! All the best. If i was your mom, I'd be really proud of you
I'd hire you bro simply because of your great attitude!
This has encouraged me to give it a try 🥹
*Introduction & Medical Board Reprimand:* 6:13
- Reprimand and its implications: 7:11
- Dr. K's response and gratitude: 13:27
- Continued commitment to mental health work: 15:53
- Dr. K's reaction to his appearance in Ariana's music video: 20:07
*Tired of Work & Societal Expectations:* 21:42
- Exhaustion in younger generations: 22:01
- Societal blame and changing nature of work: 22:51
- Conflicting societal expectations and burnout: 24:48
- The futility of living for external validation: 29:02
- Importance of internal compass and introspection: 30:10
- Technology's impact on emotional numbness: 35:16
- The challenge of confronting inner negativity: 50:31
- Finding strength in internal drive and perseverance: 56:03
- The importance of self-Worth: 1:01:38
- Connecting with your internal compass: 1:03:00
- Overcoming the Need for external validation: 1:11:50
- How to find what you like: 01:22:31
*Cycle of Job Dissatisfaction:* 1:30:49
- Understanding the emotional drivers of the cycle: 1:32:14
- The role of desperation in job selection: 1:35:38
- Breaking the cycle by reducing desperation and seeking better opportunities: 1:41:19
*Below Average IQ and Success:* 2:01:10
- The "given up" adult pipeline and the impact of early struggles: 2:01:24
- The nocebo effect and the power of belief: 2:04:33
- Importance of EQ, kindness, and reliability: 2:06:39
- Life is not a race, and success can come at different paces: 2:12:23
- The power of human potential and altering life's trajectory: 2:18:52
*Q&A:* 2:20:40
- Overcoming lack of empathy and Alexithymia: 2:21:15
- Avoiding burnout from trying too hard: 2:22:38
- Importance of listening to internal signals and re-calibrating values: 2:24:11
*Closing Remarks:* 2:34:25
- Reflections on the Medical Board process: 2:34:53
- Gratitude for support and commitment to mental health work: 2:36:13
- Upcoming streams: 2:36:52
Thank you
Ur a blessing
@@anxav thank you for saving our time ❤️
Dr K, pin this comment!
@@anxav love u!!
The issue isn't that no one wants to work. The issue is that, in order to survive, one job is not enough. 2 jobs isn't even enough either anymore. Working has no positive net return anymore because of the economy vs. what we make
We switched from a labor economy to an ownership economy as the baby boomers aged into retirement. Most of our national wealth is now tied up in large assets like real estate instead of flowing into the "living" economy.
Bingo
Basically, why bother when the ROI is shit?
I literally don't know anyone who has or needs to have two jobs. Though I know some people who float along for months between jobs on unemployment and savings
@@QueenCheese93 nwo
I just turned 37, and the depression is getting so much worse as I get older. I can’t shake it off as easily these days. I’m FINALLY starting to take care of myself more. Making an appointment to see a therapist soon as well.
It’s tough out there. Stay strong everybody… 💪🏻
I’m with you. 37 as well, fairly successful professionally but hit hard by depression / chronic pain / chronic fatigue a few years ago. let’s hang in there, it gets better!
I wish you both the best of luck and growth on the way :)
32 here and I've found it easier over the years. Sorry to hear it's worsening for you. Hopefully the therapist helps.
Medication like ssris just made me numb or sometimes worse until I finally found a good doctor who prescribed me enlafaxine for depression, anxiety and it supposedly helps add/adhd (seeing a specialist takes too long and cost too much) and quatipine so that I can go to sleep when I want to.
If you're not sleeping well, then the best thing you can do for yourself is working on getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation makes you miserable and makes everything else harder. You don't realize how bad it gets untill you've had a month of sleeping like a normal person again lol
bro i felt that
@@isaacjacobs4397 I will probably end up taking the medication route I’m sure. Depression runs rampant in my family, so I’m not sure if a therapist will be enough… but I wanted to start with a therapist and see if I can work on things before I go right to meds. We’ll see I guess.
You aren’t lying about the sleep thing. If I have bad sleep, it makes everything 10x worse. I started running 1-2 miles 5 nights a week like 2 months ago and it helps TREMENDOUSLY with the sleep. I really need to eat better too, but I’m trying to do one thing at a time so I don’t get overwhelmed.
"The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you." Carl Jung.
I know who I am, the world wasn't keen on that
@mattiusbattol Well, if I were to channel my inner Carl Jung, I would say there are a few options still available to you, given your current situation. 1. Care less about whether the world approves of who you are or not. 2. Find people or communities, such as this community by example, that care more about you than the world does. 3. Polish your rough edges so you can appeal more to the mass while retaining your individuality. 4. Become an advocate for people who share in your experience and develop a support structure for people less fortunate or less capable of dealing with such circumstances. 5. Contemplate the broadest objective perspective you can, which is that the world is under no obligation to approve of who you decide to be, and you are under no obligation to conform to what the world believes is best. To be honest, I think a synthesis of all these would be most effective. Of course, this world is full of a huge range of perspectives and levels of understanding... I love the quote by Toni Morrison that says, "If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." More broadly meaning, if there's a level of understanding and inclusiveness you see as lacking in the world, become the means of increasing that understanding by sharing your unique perspective, and remove any expectations you may have about the success of such an endeavor and simply revel in the insight that such a pursuit would grant you. Take care of yourself, and I wish you well.
@@mattiusbattol Convince it otherwise, find your people.
Ahh was this a Jung quote 😅 I’ve always said it (or some variation) and never knew where I’d got it from.
@mattiusbattol Neither was it keen on Christ, Socrates, Galileo, Nietschze, or any other free thinker or person who found themselves different from the mass. That doesn't mean they were wrong or that the world is right in its analysis of you up to now. The question is what can be done with such a state of affairs, and the answer is a lot more than you might think. Keep consuming information from insightful people, and keep looking for an avenue of support. I believe that with perseverance, you will find what you are looking for if you make it clear to yourself what that thing is. Hell, I'll even give you support and advice if you're willing to ask for it. But just remember, in the end, the only person who can save you is you. Others might help you on your journey, give you their wisdom, share their experience.. but what you do with it is your choice and yours alone. I wish you well, friend.
What I really wanted in life was to get buy a home, have a family, and spend lots of time having fun with mine and my husband's friends. Raise our kids together, play DnD after work, late nights at Denny's laughing together... It felt very possible back in the 2010's, when I was happy. But now I don't think we'll ever afford a home, let alone kids. My job doesn't even have maternity leave...most of our friends moved away for work, and those that are left have succumbed to mental illness and either become horrible people or never leave their rooms. All of the things I wanted (except for my husband) don't seem like they'll happen, and I'm already working 6 days a week. So now I have depression and am constantly exhausted.
@@vanillabeanlady I can’t say I have exactly what you feel but I have similar things. I’m a male and I have a house but I feel similar with life. Friends moved away etc. I wish I were the younger dreamy kid I used to be but that persons probably gone.
I hate to say young and dumb but young and youthfully optimistic even naive so what.
I hear people say hang in there and stuff like that but just know that we share similar feelings and that’s comforting sometimes
From one tired, exhausted American to another, I promise you its so much better in other countries. I know the thought of leaving the place that you know, and taking risk to move somewhere new is scary... but I promise it's worth it. Get out of America. It's going to shit and it won't get better for a long time, and there's no point in suffering just to "wait it out"
Yeah. I remember talking with my friends about how we would move out after highschool, and maybe start families and we could stay in the community we grew up in! Then everything became so insurmountable. Now I can’t afford to live where I was raised, can’t have a family or social life and all of my friends are no where near having any path toward that
Make new friends in the area. Have kids if you want them and live poor. Have family help with child raising if possible. Adjust to what you are given and work with new options.
@@Teachworth01 Don't flee to Australia, New Zealand, the UK or other western nations, all of us are falling, some of us are further along than America, Canada is a good example, so is the UK.
"Nobody will appreciate you as much as you deserve."
this sentence alone can gave me so much reflection on the words that freeze up in my mouth and the words I'd want to hear.
Blows my mind that anyone could suggest Dr. K was undermining the public's faith in the psychiatric medical community. This channel single handedly bolstered my faith in psychiatry/therapy, which was at a zero prior to any of this content. So glad you got a green flag to continue doc, keep it up.
From an outsider's perspective, Doc is just another self-help podcaster with dubious credentials, targeting vulnerable people. Connsider this a legitimate proof that he knows what he's doing.
Same 😢
Well, I'm not sure how competent the rest of the field really is...
@@SmileytheSmile And here we are getting much needed and enriching help and not even paying for it. This man is in our corner and they're not going to knock him out of our ring.
Usually “boards” try to protect the status quo of the profession and the income of who they represent - just research the past of medical boards of USA! Just Wikipedia … some dodgy stuff!
I'm SO glad the board didn't interfere with your work and Healthy Gamer. You're literally the main reason I've taken my mental health problems seriously. I wouldn't have even considered going to a therapist if not for your deep dives and interviews and guides, I wouldn't have even KNOWN I needed therapy otherwise. Your work is very important. I'm very grateful to you Dr K and to your entire team, you guys are making good change in the world.
Are board’s objective though? 🧐
Usually “boards” try to protect the status quo of the profession and the income of who they represent - just research the past of medical boards of USA! Just Wikipedia … some dodgy stuff!
@@mikespike2099 Sure. Where there's authority, there's bound to be some degree of corruption. But having no authority isn't gonna work either, we need existing experts to double check other peoples work, just like Dr K said. It's a dilemma humanity has always had to deal with.
And I'm no expert in this matter. I'm just glad the board decided not to interfere with Healthy Gamer. Which to me means they did their job well in this case, as Dr K clearly isn't a big figure of authority himself and is quite daring in his work. They could've just told him to quit the unusual aspects of HG but they didn't, and for that I'm glad.
@@mikespike2099posting this on every comment? Some dodgy intentions man
@@rama-rao-y8u what do you need help with?
@@rama-rao-y8u Short answer: because life is short. And because "hurt people hurt people". And I don't want to spend this short human life hurting myself and others, due to my own unresolved inner turmoil. And like I said, Healthy Gamer helped see that I do have unresolved problems that needs to be worked on.
Longer answer: I've already spent 30 years living with my deteriorating mental health as is, and I don't see myself improving without directly dealing with it now. The way I see it, if I don't take care of my mind now, I'll spend the next 30 years suffering from the same exact shit without end. My life has been largely a mess so far, I don't want to live like this till I'm gone.
Both of my parents had mental health problems, and both went with "don't need therapy, it doesn't work anyway". What really pushed me to the therapy path was my father's death, I never liked him for the deadbeat apathetic father that he was, but he died in an accident, having never in his life reached a resolution for his inner turmoil. I know he never found peace. He dealt with all of his problems using apathy and avoidance, and I do the same.
I now have to go to therapy, because my parents refused to go to therapy when they themselves needed it, and I had to reap the results of their untreated mental health problems. You know, "hurt people hurt people". I don't want to cause the same hurt for people around me as I too get older.
When I finally realized all of this, it was Healthy Gamer's Guide to mental health, the trauma guide especially, that really made me aware of my exact mental health problems and how deeply I'm effected by them.
There's a lot of things you can do to improve your mental health even before you go to therapy if you're not convinced yet. For example I first looked into various types of therapy, like schema therapy for example, and did some self introspection and journaling based on those therapies. Not all kinds of therapy are suitable for all people, so it's worth it to kinda shop around and see what is available and what works for you.
I apologize for the lengthy reply, but I hope any of this helps you in any way, and I wish you luck on your journey
There's no reward for hard work anymore. Working hard? Sorry, your rent is too high. Working hard? Sorry, can't afford a house. Working hard? Sorry, your car just broke snd it's going to cost thousands and this is going to wipe out your bank account. Working hard? Your groceries are almost double the amount they cost before. Working hard? Here's your manager telling you all the other shit you have to do on top of everything else you're doing. Working hard? Here's a pile of health problems that are going to cost more money that you already don't have anyway. Working hard just means working even harder because it's never enough and you feel like a hamster on a wheel going absolutely nowhere at all. This is a huge, huge problem.
And i'm very grateful i can avoid it as of now. Exactly for that reason.
@@TaniaPomalesArt I kinda hope for a pill of some sort just to escape the prison of life! Like an ex1t pill. Like get all the help you can but if you tried and life ain’t great then goodbye 👋
@@mikespike2099 wow I hear ya. Not there yet but damn things have changed. I’m 53 and I was super dreamy as a younger person like the future was gonna be amazing. Now everything seems like hard work to just function.
@@MichaelSmith-uy4ui yep ignorance of how society actually works is bliss… it’s modern day slavery out there and the only thing we truly have power over is when we elect to choose “enough” - I am a big advocate for getting all the help you need, therapy connecting with friends and family - but I do feel it is cruel that those who do want to sign out having to do so in traumatic ways. There should be an option of a peaceful exit on our own terms (of course corporations do not like this)
No reward anymore? There has never been any reward for most people. For the majority of history only royalty and nobility owned property, and poor people regularly died of malnutrition.
Only a very few generations have been able to afford a significantly higher standard of living than average, and there is a very simple reason for it - labour shortage.
After the Black Death in England, entire villages on the chalk plains in the south east were abandoned by people who could now choose where to live and work. They could all afford to move away because there was such a shortage of labour that the working class actually had leverage over the landowners who needed to employ them. It was one of the incidents that began the long road to workers rights.
For the same reasons, two world wars in the beginning of the 20th Century created such a shortage of labour that the generations in the middle of the century had considerably better standards of living than average.
We are currently experiencing the norm, not the exception.
A major thing I've learned over the past 5 years is that I don't like working. I'm fine doing it in the moment, but it doesn't give me any sort of fulfillment or satisfaction. So I chose to dial it back. (working way below my potential) I no longer have deadlines weeks or months into the future. Now when I end my workday, I start living.
It works for me. I enjoy life again and feel less insecure. I still have things to work on, mainly friendships, but generally I'm doing good since I accepted this part of me.
@Ms10000123 yeah I've been having to learn this too. I'm 20 and just quit an electrician apprenticeship because that trajectory would have me working 60 to 70 hours a week with high turnover.
The thing is though people don't work to live now, they work to live peacefully down the line meaning retirement or early retirement. There are young who people go into debt to "live" but then come to find they need to pay back money that wasnt theirs and are working still in their 50s-60s 🙃
Who cares about family or a house, make sure you work enough to retirement comfortably
@@novy3068You could finish your work apprenticeship and set your own hours after completion. I understand tho. It’s too much work.
i put about 50% into my job now. they don’t give us any financial reward for doing a good job so what’s the point
Not just work. The outlook of the future looks worse and worse. There is division among everyone and no one wants to step over the boundary while media push propaganda that defy human nature of male and female. This world is disgusting, no wonder depression is on the rise.
The problem is when I get bored, and start to pay attention to the voices in my mind all I hear is I DONT WANT THIS, I NEED TO EXCAPE OR DISAPPEAR, I HATE THIS WORK, THIS PEOPLE, NOTHING MAKES SENSE, THERE IS NO MEANING TO WORKING SO HARD, PLEEEASEEE THIS HAS TO END. So I go back to numbing myself because omg I just cant work like that
Your correct. We continue to work but humans still do the same things. You are correct and all these people are just going with the flow because it's easier to just go with it. ALL this work and we aren't any closer to world peace at all.
Because it isn't worth Jack shit to work nowadays. Your job is meaningless, it can barely afford you anything and you might just be laid off any day to satisfy the shareholders. Capitalism is broken.
Facts! I’m so tired.
This is literally how I see things. Fuck every other comment this is literally me.
I feel this comment a lot as I’ve been through something similar. However, IMO I think this isn’t objectively the only way to see the world but instead it’s more a question of the lens/perspective you have and thus the cognitive appraisals you make about life. However, gaining a new perspective isn’t as easy as just adopting one, it actually takes commitment to LEARNING a new one despite it being harder and gaining you no extra benefits in the immediate short term. Helps to have guidance I.e. therapy, dr k, supportive people or family around you.
I am 32 and fed up with this BS world. Life is not worth living if you have to work 5 days a week and have no time for the things that really matter, connection with other humans and the natural world around us. Absolutely sick of it.
If you work 5 days a week, you do have some time to do the things that you believe are important.
No one has unlimited time to do whatever they want.
To say that life is not worth living because you have to work -- this seems like perhaps not the real problem.
Maybe it's the type of work, or your workplace is toxic. Or your feelings from other negative experiences are contaminating your present life.
I ran into a homeless guy a few years ago... he had come up to my car to ask for some money. We got talking.
He told me he was on methadone treatments (for opioid addiction) -- was homeless, but had become mentally stable. He was very grateful that his dad was letting him visit the family home and see his brothers and sisters.
His mom had been murdered a few years previously... which was very traumatic for him.
He then said something that blew my mind. "My life got a lot better when I stopped feeling sorry for myself."
🤯 I was shocked... and humbled! Here was this guy, homeless for about a year, in addiction recovery, but refused to indulge in self-pity.
We do need pity sometimes. We need compassion and understanding.
But self-pity can become a negative force. It can become automatic, when instead we could take the opportunity to encourage ourselves or to find encouragement.
I hope to encourage you that life is worth living.
You should travel more
"Confidence is the default state, shame is taught" - Dr. K
also
"Oh your wee wee is hanging out, that's shame shame" - Dr. K
Research into learned helplessness shows that helplessness is the default state while control is taught
@@thwartificeryeah no. It’s called *learned* helplessness for a reason. What the research shows is after X attempts to exert control, people eventually conclude that the effort to fix the situation is wasted and so they stop trying.
@@RCCurtright Was there newer research that showed that? Maier SF, Selinger SF (July 2016) says that it is control that is learned
@@thwartificer control isn't the opposite to helplessness. it's the same thing.
@@thwartificer (Seligman) I found it. Fair enough. Control is learned.
However, if I’m reading correctly, helplessness/passivity is not the default. The circuits to DETECT control are automatic, and then if control is not detected, there is an automatic response of passivity/helplessness. When later placed in an environment where control is possible, the circuits that DETECT control are still incapacitated.
So I don’t think it’s unfair to say that our default is “confidence” in the sense that, our default is to DETECT control and the ACT and LEARN. When unable to DETECT control repeatedly, it results in an automatic response that shuts off detection circuits, and so no action and subsequent learning is attempted.
It’s so calming to see someone in a position of leadership be able to address and talk about legal matters calmly, and factually and not just self-serving propaganda bluster… that’s what I’ve been used to seeing for the last almost decade. The way Dr. K breaks everything down with genuine caring I’m always astounded by.
37:57 anchor
41:30 societal expectations
50:30 reconnt with yourself
53:30 healing vs accomlishment
55:00 im tolerating it for me
1:01:50 external motivation
1:18:50 when progress becomes mistake
1:31:00 quit job cycle
So are you a full time hero or freelance
@@niceclaup1 lmao fr though
❤
"the internal fortitude to defy society's expectations comes from understanding yourself" This resonated with me strongly.
You're absolutely 100 % helpful. There are so many people who don't have the money or insurance for counseling, and we learn so much from you, in bite size chunks, that are perfect for adhd brains.
Even if we had insurance, a lot of us would never be able to force ourselves to actually arrive at an appointment, and not miss the appointment.
We also have a major obstacle trying to learn from books.
Plus we can PAUSE the video as many times as necessary, while we jump up and get something else done.
We appreciate you and your videos greatly. ❤
I absolutely second this
I just realized how insidious the teaching of my parents. They invalidate my feeling and they question the things that I said to myself. Whenever I have a feeling such as sadness, most of their responses are "It's only your feeling" get over it. Whenever I have faith in myself and want to do something great, "What you said is not that important". Those word repeated multiple times in my life as I grow up. No wonder I am struggling to navigate life. Instead of using my emotion as a compass, I was questioning it. Instead of using my own word to go to my own destination that I feel rewarded, I questioned them. Questioning takes time, energy and effort. With no anchor on how to live life, I running in circle not making a progress while being tired of running and running. As I am get in touch with my feeling , as I self validate as I self appreciate, this get better. I feel the fulfillment in me. The funny thing is that I have more conflict with the people that I deal with without this mindset. However, I found the satisfaction in following what do I believe is true. Even I kept changing that believe, I have my body, logic and awareness to give me feedback on what are the things that I want to believe in.
beautifully said and inspiring. This is similar to what im experiencing, im having more conflict with family. But have loved myself more today so much more. Been getting into learning about somatic experiencing. Basically feeling emotions again. It's taking some time, but it's been very fulfilling to cry again for myself. I had wanted to cry for myself, I"d always done it for other people. And this past week I'm connected to my inner child. I've been having empathy for my abusers. But still doing what I want to do.
First coming to realize how wrong your parents were about so many things is one of life's greatest epiphanies.
I feel you, I really do, but to be honest, when I look at people who only learned to trust their feelings and never doubt anything about themselves, I too often see nothing but self-centered enormous ego, no matter how hard I look.
While it definitely takes time and effort, doubt leads to analysing, analysing leads to, even if sometimes flawed and incomplete, but understanding. And rational understanding of yourself and others, paradoxically, may lead to the actual empathy and some other deep insights in human minds and relationship.
This, or I'm just trying to justify that all my suffering with this mindset werent all for naught.
@@reyne2077 unfortunately if you describe your experience with your own mindset as "suffering" it might not be the best you could have
You won’t believe me but this is exactly me and how I feel rn…I’ve been crying for the past few days about it
Many of us are done working for masters who treat us like property.
I work as a DSP now and own a small farm, soon the farm earnings will outpace the 9-5. And ill probably keep both for a few more years while i put in more infrastructure, my whole goal on the farm was to take out zero debt and grow it that way. Its been slow but steady.
Ive already told my kids when they are grown i have no problems letting them live there, but we will be putting up 12x24 mini homes for them to grow in, when or if they want to launch they can.
Making my life recession proof has been the goal since 2020 and we are about 40% there.
We need more market farmers in this country, i belive alot of our social issues and mental health issues will dissolve when we get back to our roots.
I wrote it down, in case I might forget again: "the real tragedy of living up to societal expectation is that it doesn't make you happy. When you live up to societal expectations all you feel is relief. You dont feel pride. Pride comes from within. So, this is the problem of societal expectations: if you dont live up to them, you feel bad and even if you do live up to them, all you feel is relief, you're never getting your head above water, right. It's a lose-lose-situation. And if we play this lose-lose-game, no wonder we're tired."
Saving this!!! Thank you for typing it out. I’m printing it out.
Working hard is a trap as a blue color worker.
A trap that earns you more work.
Adequate is the goal.
Eh. Poor reasoning. If you're so good at what you do, you'll have no problem finding someone willing to pay you for the work.
If the job is easy enough that it doesn't grant a high wage than you aren't working hard to begin with anyway.
Otherwise doing so is fine if you're content with where you're at. If you're okay with your position in life than I 100% agree with not working extra to improve yourself
@@DreadPagesI assume that that's not a rationalization, but rather an observation. The very incentives of employers is to get as much work for as little pay as possible. Sometimes other incentives such as loyalty and public perception come into play, but most of the time, the easiest way to make a profit is to keep costs as low as possible.
@@DreadPageslaughs in massage therapist. If you're so good at what you do, then your chiro will.... Ultimately ignore you and never check in on you. Your clients come in and out and don't even know how to spread your information the same way like back in 80s. You get told the only way to get better is paying $150 to some guy who knows how to do the same exact job as you but gets Da ReZuLtZS
@@DreadPages Not true, the majority of people believe in authority and would choose a big company with a history over Joe shome, even if Joe Shmoe is better and cheaper.
This is the reason I feel I’m fortunate in the career I’ve fallen into. In Bartending and serving, the higher value service you provide is directly proportional to how much money you make. Things like personality and physical appearance obviously have an impact as well, but I’ve been blessed in those ways I feel, and I’m only capitalizing on the things outside of my control.
Emotional burnout is definitely a thing, but the longer I spend in the industry, the better I get at handling that and not letting the nature of the job jade me.
I love slinging drinks on a busy Saturday night too so that’s a plus🙃
Alok, man... you really are the pillar we need in this world. Im so grateful to have discovered this channel: the whole gang of HGG have made me realized how I could do something to feel good about myself. I love you guys so much!!!
Amazing, you saw the status quo, decided to do something different, it worked, and you actually got away with it. Truly an inspiration.
Thanks so much for addressing the reprimand right up front and in such a transparent way. I've always been very impressed with the quality of information available on your channel, and I say this as someone who already has a great therapist IRL.
What, he didn't even say what they did to get the reprimand...
...he just said _"We got a reprimand for undermining the publics faith in the profession, but they found that we did nothing wrong and they don't want us to change anything"_ lmao.
So the board just slapped on a reprimand for the heck of it, I guess? 🤷♀️
If I missed something please enlighten me.
yea I love how he addressed it with no hate in his heart at all. and Im so glad to hear the HG content we've been viewing doesn't violate any sorta ethical or safety issues. those interviews are my favorite vids and I hope they never stop
I would watch him even if he wasn't a doctor and was just giving out advice.
@@handsomebear.I’m ignorant on the subject, but my guess is that it was like an audit. A cause for concern was brought forth and investigated.
After investigation nothing bad faith was concluded. (Will edit if I figure out otherwise)
@@handsomebear. Someone reported him and that started the process.
My favorite video still remains where you talk about the fact that depression can include overly rational thinking and misaligned rational thinking - its always in my memory whenever I start to feel depressed so thank you for that. Very grateful.
Shewt. I was kind of freaking out because I’m having such LOGICAL thoughts of ending it now. Not desperate or anything. Just logical. I think I need some help.
I was addicted to heroin, one day I woke up.....in jail...after 10 days of withdrawals and I thought.....ya this is probably where I should get off this train....in school, decent job, family took me back, but still struggle, the change is a network and tools to get myself right, it's doable but it's extremely difficult if you are alone, nothing is done alone EVER.
We're proud of you, brother. Keep doing what you're doing but always be vigilant of the addiction.
@@doxbcbud7911 Without the distance from substances I have no ground to stand on, it's the first domino, if that falls I'm in danger lol.
@@Eggs-n-Jakey Yeah... Hence why I said to be ALWAYS vigilant on that first domino... Good luck, man.
Good job man.
I just hit one year 3 months off that shit after 11 years using. The courts don't care, but I have decided that even if they send me back to prison cause i cant pay them the money they want, at least i am doing the real work and trying to be a better me. I wish you luck, my fellow ex heroin addict
I've cried. I've cried so much as a man. It's my home, it's my time. It's my life. I am not my father. I don't just want to be a man's man. I want to do what I need to by the best of my ability but I want the ability to feel and cry every year. Empathy for myself first. that's all there is first to put the mask on yourself first in a plane crashing down. Why am I not allowed to have a degree, a music life, love and dance while crying? What contradiction is there? Yours. So leave it, Don't involve me. I want to feel alive every year.
As a fellow man crier, I support this.
I feel you so much
I don't cry a lot, but i don't see anything wrong with it.
(unless you're literally just complaining all the time and never own your own flaws etc.)
I generally hate how the blue pilled part society finds it perfectly just, to accuse you of "stealing", while they have the audacity to expect of you, to dedicate your life to creating Tax revenue and see nothing wrong with it.
I'm just so done with this shit.
It's not only extremely superficial to base your identity on status and materialism, it's also the perfect recipe for making you easy to manipulate.
Not only are they screwing themselves over without realizing, they are acting all chauvinistic about it, because you seem like the idiot to them for not being an idiot.
Shaming people into submission creates a bunch of shaming NPCs and here we are now.
It's literally the root cause of extremism, because those who don't apply to their worldview, are automatically challenging it.
And they don't want that. That's why they're throwing around their shaming attempts, which i've stopped taking serious years ago.
...And i can recommend.
Don't ever listen to people who need to force or manipulate you into submission in order for you to not be bothered by them.
Those people are always ignorants without an own moral compass.
I fuck with this message heavily!!!!!
@@Anonym-yr4qn Emotions are trivial as sex in modern times. It can all be presented the good, the bad and the ugly, but it's still part of us. Moderation is the act of moderating. To moderate these things is to not call for it's removal, but to always be alert and present to see the good, the bad, the ugly.
My future kid one day, might cry in front of me, and it will be up to me to decide if it is an uglier future for me to help for his perspective, or to show what's wrong of his perspective.
This thumbnail is single-handedly the most relatable thing I felt this month
Same, but for me it's 'this decade'.
I feel like the biggest problem, at least from my own narrow prespective. Is not that life is super hard, but that its pretty hard and also feels pointless sometimes. You know you wont starve, the avarage internet doomer can afford to be a neet for most of their lives, yet if they want their own home they often need to work multiple jobs. Youre not working to keep your family afloat, to see a better world, or for your children to see a better world, youre often just working so you can say that youre an acceptable adult, you can live with your parents and be a neet, or live by yourself with 100x the stress and worse economic conditions but you get to say you did your part.
Its not like we have lost the ability to tough it up, we have been doing that for most of history, its just that now there doesnt seem to be as much meaning or reason to do so
I've been saying it feels like we live in an era of bread and circuses. We can buy all the entertainment and gadgets we could ever want, but buying/having necessities are constantly increasing in price/inaccessibility and becoming more unstable. Housing, education, job security, healthcare, environmental disasters, etc.
PREACH
This.
People aren't motivated bc they're not following their soul's passion. Feeling forced to do the jobs outlined by society and family is obviously not the answer. Some are better at making themselves do it but their misery tells us all we need to know.
The system is going through an overhaul slowly but it's happening as we are leaving the dark age and more are awakening to many truths.
The problem is also how the workplace change. Everything needs to be as efficient and cost reducing as possible. Throw in minimum worker, get the maximum out. I worked in a coffee shop and the manager would literally have a timesheet how long every task should take. When we reached it, he shortened it and made it a completion. Like, let the people just work.
On my previous job everyone got stressed out , overloaded, we dont even have time do chill out and talk for a couple of minutes anymore...... the vibe now Is heavy and no one want to be there anymore, Its like a graveyard and I dont even blame the owners because they are trying to save the business but........ what a hell happened to society? I trully wonder If worth be alive on this world....
@raphaels33 im seriously struggling to find a job that isn't like that anymore and trust me, I've had quite a few jobs at this point. Things aren't how things used to be
Hey Dr. K, I just want to thank you for everything you do in this channel. As someone who can no longer afford therapy and meds, your content has helped me a lot and it's not an exaggeration to say that it's one of the few reasons I'm still alive. Thank you so much.
Scrubbed toilets, waited tables, bathroom attendant, tolerated sexual harassment, hostile style employee housing, homeless shelter, rejected by State resources, construction crew, berated by customers, double crossed by co-workers, employers hire only cheap labor, non negotiable employment terms, unsafe working conditions, perverts and charlatans, 100+ job applications... Don't let me forget.. Pay-to-Play! FML I think I'm entitled to every bit of that meme in the thumbnail.
🫂
I’m so sorry 😞
A real one that's been through the struggle. I'm sorry for both of us cause I relate.
I dont really believe the "employers only hiring cheap labor". How are you even only running into those jobs. Unless you're an asylum seeker or something? Just go to a temp agency and they set you up very easily and you get paid fairly. At least not below what most people get.
@@Berserk1Manga Lived experience. I'm not the asylum seeker- I've had my job sent to India. I watch employers plug in J1s because they cost less. Employers get excited about my resume, book an interview and then realize I'm old enough to know my actual value. I've lost to internal hires- because that is less expensive and more efficient for the company.
Do you ever negotiate the terms of your employment? Do you ever go for a raise? ...Do you ever need customer service? Who answers the phone when you call?
I'm really happy there is content like this on UA-cam.
Being annoying is super subjective. Especially without any specifics. Talk with anyone neurodivergent and you'll find a lot of alienation because of nothing ever specified. Nothing ever addressed just, "You're annoying," and you're not allowed to ask why and if you do you're told you're annoying for asking. Often it's because they don't know why and it's annoying to be called out and not having an answer. They're too proud to say, "I don't know."
It goes the opposite where neurodivergent people are more often fine with each other but find allistic ("normal") people very annoying so it's really that it's about, to put it one way, being on the same wavelength. It's just that allistic people, some even call them NPCs, are far more common and so neurodivergent people usually end up feeling like they're fundamentally broken failures.
Not saying there aren't assholes or annoying people out there just addressing what's more important to a community of a higher concentration of neurodivergents.
yep. normies are boring
It's always everyone else's fault. If someone finds you annoying they don't need to justify why.
ADHDers are often treated as annoying in much the same way that autistic people are even though it's a different kind of annoying to different people but you just lumped all nerved virgin people as autistic by saying allistic are the opposite of neurodivergent. That isn't true. Allistic only the opposite of autistic.
Allegedly everywhere is *supposed to* provide "reasonable accommodations" to the disabled, ie, neurodivergent... *BUT* the reality is that nowhere actually does. The owness is always on *you* despite exponentially more challenges and no means with which to address them. Effectively, they can always discriminate against you. And just find some other excuse. Like literally set you up to have cause for firing. Meanwhile the same exact types of people think they should be permanently exempt from having to pay for those they deem unfit to work. Yet you're expected to pay into a broken and corrupt system in which the resources are never actually there when you do actually need them. Everything is backwards and evil and I don't think that even a great depression tier crash would even result in any kind of course correction, as everything is permanently backwards and evil and bought and paid for to the point where the peasants who slave away every day for endless decades to make them all their money will be the ones circling the dust bowl slowly dying, while they receive bailouts for being "too big to jail."
@@ertai222 How is one supposed to stop being annoying to others if nobody will explain what it is they're doing that comes of as annoying?
Always love and appreciate Dr.K’s input. Year 2 on therapy and psychiatry after being inspired by Dr.K and Ive had great results. Listening to Dr.K makes me understand things better on a deep level and I appreciate this. Thank you Dr. K.
Undermining public trust in the institution is an absolutely wild complaint, instead of addressing America's lack of care of mental health to begin with. Along with the fact doctors give out anti depressive meds like candy cause then they get more kickbacks out of it. Maybe address the fact people cant afford therapy to begin with and channels like these can be their outlets. Im glad Dr.K is taking the more mature route, just a complaint like that seems BS at best when you look at the entire system.
What are you on about lol, you think the board shouldn't be able to reprimand him because they haven't singlehandedly fixed Americas mental health issues? :V
That's some *_wild_* whataboutism.
I've been through some malpractice while in foster care etc. to hear someone care and take true responsibility makes me cry. Thank you, I expected nothing less
“When you live up to societal expectations, all you feel is relief” 41:52
What an amazing statement. Really made me think for a moment.
Congrats on passing your evaluations, Dr K! It must feel great to have had this happen: forced to take a pop quiz and get all the answers right! 🎉🎉🎉
I enjoy your content btw. You make academic info available to the masses while making it relatable, understandable, and nonjudgemental. 💚
I’ve been watching Dr K for years, but lately his talks have just been hitting differently. I don’t know what it is, but all the talks are very relevant to questions I am working on, and the insights and reminders are super valuable 🙏Thanks, Dr K
Jobs used to be defined and rewarding because you saw how much you achieved. Now it’s endless emails, paperwork, tick boxes without achieving anything in real life (just a tick on paper). Corporations say look after your mental health whilst telling you they always need more and you need to be relentlessly dedicated to their company at all costs. I’m in the medical profession and yet I feel little of what I do actually equates to the patient (when it absolutely should). It’s all hoops and tick boxes :(
A great analogy for the slow down to catch up thing is that if you want a satellite to catch up to a satellite, you want to slow down not speed up. This is because the faster it moves the more it moves laterally for every movement downward towards the earth. Slower makes a smaller rounder orbit which is essentially a shortcut to catch up to the other satellite.
@@rugged04270 Apart from in real life you'll just be a lap behind
@@vincentm7150 right. But that goes back to his life isn't a race because the start and finish line aren't the same for everyone but you can catch up and keep pace with someone for a while
@@vincentm7150 Depends how you define the laps. If the laps are about the money, maybe. But if the laps are about happiness, probably not. So slow down. You can't lose a race you don't participate in.
@@dava5rich Then what is happiness to you? No responsibility and hedonism? Comfort and laziness?
@rugged04270 It isn't a race, but if you don't progress, you'll end up a 18 year old in a 30 years old body
Love this guy. especially now knowing the "mess" he got into. A guy with values who believes in what he does
I'm 30 completly depressed, unmotivated , got fired of my job ,no perspective no girlfriend , no fun....... I wonder when the hell the good part on the life will come...
Bro 30 is young for a guy you got this! Men at 30 are still young and wild im 33 and dont trust guys my age at 35 you will start to come into your true self. Again your ok just keep trying! aslo pro tip if you keep going for the same kind of women and things keep failing apart go for a different kind of girl someone your less attracted to. It works its Psychology.
Life sucks, but at least we get to die. Suffering doesn't last forever.
Video starts at 6:13
Jobs aren't really what changed, it's everything else that changed. Work is easy. It might by physically tiring, but that's a good kind of tiring. The problem is intellectual and emotional exhaustion, and work doesn't usually cause that.
Democracy is perpetually under attack from actors who seek supreme power, and that's exhausting. News outlets and talking heads are constantly telling bold-faced lies and never see consequences, and that's exhausting. Corporations are constantly acting above the law and never see consequences, and that's exhausting. Our consumerist hobbies are constantly losing quality and gaining price, and that's exhausting. Social media and the internet is a constant fight where nobody understands anything but it's still hugely influential, and that's exhausting. Rents, mortgages, utilities, tax and food costs are all perpetually rising while wages stagnate, and that's exhausting. Socialisation has become a game where every roll of the die guarantees failure, and that's exhausting. Dating has become a minefield where nobody knows what they want except for people who want things they can't have, and that's exhausting. Having a family is now beyond most people's financial means, and even those who can afford it can't afford to do the job well, but we still see family as essentially the sole metric of life success because we can't imagine anything else, and that's exhausting. And on a personal note, it's also exhausting to have realised that I focused on the wrong things as a teenager and now it's going to take me 10+ years of hard work to get good at the things I've discovered I want to be good at, and getting an ADHD diagnosis costs £1000 just so I can start to get medicines that might help with this, and because I can't afford that, that's exhausting.
Compared to all that, going into the office five times a week and just processing work assignments is a breeze.
I like this comment. I often think how much more energy I know I would have if just some basic moral principles were upheld by society at large
All the things you say have changed have actually always been that way, with the exception of social media (maybe in the past you could've subbed the word "religion" for "social media"). Nothing is really new or worse. Chances are that these things are going to stay the way they are, continuing in endless cycles of improving and deteriorating. It makes total sense to feel overwhelmed. But, since you just listed 12 awful things, can you list 12 awesome things? Where are you putting your focus? How are you fortunate? What are you proud of? What makes you smile? What are your freedoms?
I understand this feeling. This is how I feel about things as well.
"Emotional exhaustion, and Work usually doesn't do that"
Speak for yourself, I Work as a Male nurse and emotional exhaustion Happens on a daily basis
Nice comment and responses.
The problem is with people's egos. They all want to outcompete and outdo each other, and of course sabotage others from their greatness.
You are hitting the nail on the head when you said idk what I want i cant even decide where to get food most of the time...
Very very surprised that the incredible service being done in this channel could be seen as damaging in some way. It makes very apprehensive and does not increase my confidence on the "establishment". Really hope it is a genuine concern from the board and not a fear response to the success and reach of this channel that blatantly puts a harsh mirror to the face of the profession and its underachievement. Glad to know that you, Dr. Alok, are OK with it and even can see some positives coming out of that.
We need to "go through the shit placed from the higher ups/older people because it's what everyone does" is the most BS argument for traumatizing younger/lesser experienced people, and yet it's everywhere, what a world of joke we live in
This was a brilliant stream. The ideas and theories Dr. K presents here line up exactly with what I've seen the past 6 months. I believe this self disconnect and the current societal system will bring a new Era of understanding to the human condition in all aspects. I could be talking about my back end tho
Ive been in and out of rehabs and psych wards since 1999, I've seen the needs of the industry and where the industry has declined through the years. You're bringing the needs forward. I applaud you for your work. Thank you God for another Sober day! 🤗💕🥰
Fantastic job with how you handled the investigation. Many other mental health content creators have not shown the same professionalism. I suspect your ability to remain professional is grounded in the ethical care and congruence you demonstrated as you developed this program. A clear conscience shines under pressure.
"You cant meditate on an empty stomach"
One time i was meditating and doing a body scan. Tl;dr, i realized i mentally block my hunger by flooding my brain with anxious thoughts. Like i did not feel the horrible ripping pain (if i had been standing, id be doubled over) of hunger until i FORCED my attention back into my stomach over and over again. i IMMEDIATELY turned to anxious ruminations the second i could feel the pain, IMMEDIATELY stopping the pain.
I dont think this at all refutes the idea behind the quote (i had the ability to feed myself, or this wouldnt have been a helpful revelation), but i thought it was really neat to realize how much pain i was in from ignoring my pain.
Like a superpower honestly, it blew my mind about what were capable of.
Just found you and got in from your talk with Dr Mike about. You are the most beautiful person, thank you for deciding to not go into the research.
I’m still watching this, but the underlying meditation you maintained with him during that interview was one of the most important gnostic experiences of my life.
Dr.K I would LOVE to be interviewed by you! My life is always one step forward 8-10 steps back, and I'm truly becoming disheartened. I wish you could give me some advice. Your work on this channel has been incredible and amazing to hear/watch!
Really happy everything went through ok, seriously we need MORE of you and your team like seriously serious........
They should make you as a role model/occupation model for this new modern world
I'm goimg through therapy and I want to share that what Dr K says here is very, very true. Especially the internal willpower... It's very powerful and it's there. It has taken me a while (I was with another therapist I didn't click with for a year and I lost a lot of time there).
my god dr charged his batteries up in the vacation. This lecture was packed! Thanks team for selecting those memes, really great topics
Societal expectations aren't bad just by themselves. They're bad if:
1. There's too many of them
2. They're mutually exclusive
3. They're unrealistic
Welp, those are still only really bad for you, if you don't get enough value out of your own expectations for yourself.
I would agree. There are a lot of other factors in it as well. I find that societal expectations tend to only benefit the society itself. If the society you are living in doesn't also benefit the individual, then conforming to the standards of society is a one way relationship. Of course, it can be hard to tell whether or not those expectations work.
The most telling thing for me is whether or not a society is sustainable, the expectations aren't too much for its denizens, and the expectations keep most of its denizens in check.
If the society is falling apart, then worrying about what it wants from you is a moot point, as it will not be able to provide the security and benefits the society would theoretically be there for. If the expectations are too great for the individual, then society will collapse anyway. Society is a pyramid, and without its base it will topple. Many historians and scholars tend to agree that a society will collapse when "the individual" becomes corrupted. So without a proper set of rights and responsibilities to guide the common man it can lead to chaos in another way.
I find that it's a balance. If a society doesn't provide enough to it's people, then its a one way relationship that will crush the individual. If the individual becomes unreasonable in large enough numbers, the society collapses, and everyone looses its benefits.
The problem about what is realistic for both sides changes drastically based on the climate. Right not it is not a good expectation to own a house, two cars, and be debt free. The amount of people that can pull that off are dwindling at a rapid rate due to the economy. This was something that would be normal, or even expected before the 2000s. As times change, so should the expectations. Otherwise we become rigid, stale, the society breaks, and collapses.
None of them are bad. Bad is a perspective . All expectations are about survival
I have to disagree, or at least suggest another criteria. Expectations related to personal factors such as gender, heritage, physical appearance, etc. only put pressure on the individual and potentially create shame without benefitting anyone. In general, I would argue that any expectations to conform to standards that cause dissatisfaction in the individual without benefitting the community can be considered bad.
In other words - they are okay as long as you fit or at least have means to eventually fit them.
And if you dont - who said your opinion ever mattered anyway?
As a software engineer, the concept of "disparaging the profession" is completely alien. Programmers disparage our profession constantly! And a lot of really good work comes out of those complaints about how things are, and how things might be better. A reprimand for saying "this is how we're doing a bad job" is unthinkable in my work.
I'm a software dev and it's totally normal when some tech is being pushed on us (Currently kubernetes to replace a sunseted DC/OS) that we make jokes about how "Oh yeah, this is gonna solve all our problems right?!" and we all laugh cause we know it won't. But, we have to do it, so we'll make it work!
@@tvanantwerp software engineer with 8 YOE here. Couldn't agree more.
My work ensures that I see the purpose of life. It gives me security, routine, income, and therefore the freedom to do the things I want. Because I don't have many friends and often feel lonely, weekends feel like survival. I am happy when I can go back to work on Monday and see people. This sometimes makes me sad and it all relates to my childhood (C-PTSD). Now, I am undergoing therapy, and it is going well. The period in which I had to accept jobs to survive is over. I have worked hard to get and keep a better job. I can say that my childhood trauma has shaped me into who I am now and has sometimes even helped me. Not long ago, I discovered that I was performing to be accepted. Now the time has come to love and accept myself. To do what I want, to listen to myself, and to love myself.
My favorite quote:
"Isn't it odd. We can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside."
Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse.
Weekends for me feel like their is not enough time to relax or do things I want. Surviving the weekend is easy when you are too busy
@@atka371 what job do you work, if you don’t mind me asking?
Why don’t you make plans with people you like on the weekends?
Had seen this in my recommends for a good minute and finally put my ego aside and pressed play. So very glad that I did, as so much of this pertains to who I am now. I have had a substantial amount of noise in my past as to why I CAN'T. The difference now is I simply dont listen to those voices anymore. Rather, I focus on what I CAN do. God bless you and your team Dr. K. This particular video has helped tremendously : )
I love your thought process. You help me see things in a new light.
every time i open HG videos i hit the like button and then every 20 minutes i have the urge to hit that like again and again. thank you very much for your work!
Dr. K, I want to comment on something you mentioned at 1:02:00. I am one of the clever few who “crafted my environment To create motivation” and I achieved the “ABILITY TO CHILL” And not work, but like you said I became dependent on that environment. The internal motivation the drive, ability to focus, the energy was still lacking and now I have understood thanks to listening to this presentation a deeper part of myself. It is tough to find what motivates me for my whole life.
55:58 "Competing interest and overcoming addiction"
This was one of his first videos back from 2019. Such an important concept that Dr. K has been explaining since the beginning.
I love these kind of references.
Thank you for ALL that you and your team do and have done to make the world a better place ❤️
As a student of psychology who has witnessed the slow mental decay of my community, the general problem of mental health makes me heart race. It's a bit terrifying. I can only hope to have the courage to fight this tide
This, I think, is one of your best episodes by the way. Thank you..
I have the luxury to work 4 days a week, free Fridays for chores to keep our family apartment clean (meaning it's another 7+ hours work keeping up what has not been cleaned). However this day keeps me mentally away from my job, so even if I do laundry, clean all the rooms from top to down, etc. I can go to weekend with a mental healthier state, cause what I do on Fridays feels something that is necessary and important.
I am doing an IT bs job more or less for the good salary, but I am currently just working for getting money monthly
Its kinda shocking that it takes 7 hours to clean an apartment. If you aren't dealing with physical constraints, you might try researching "speed cleaning" or professional cleaning techniques. Can your family pitch in? Good luck and good on you!
Dr. K is such a mind-blowingly good communicator of science and medicine, and he understands all of the difficult ethical issues involved, and works very hard to uphold them - all of that is on display in this preamble. Such respect, sir.
I have so much respect for you. As a “leader/founder” of a self-care rpg app for adhders, you embody all the things I hope I can be someday. Direct, humble, curious, and obviously smart. Thanks for all you do
@@modernsam2347 link? I'll try it out
Thank you!
I was literally struck, when you started talking about the internal motivation of the viscious desparate cycle of job, or relationship. I find that neither motivation to make some money works, since its just a way of reducing suffering but actually never takes you anywhere. Or some people would say, your motivation for the action should be your calling, passion, all that crap which is fed to people by internet gurus. Focus on 'building something' is so different from everything else I heard before and gives completely different perspective on work itself. Thank you again for that.
I can't wait to post a comment until I've seen the whole video, it's very long and I have ADHD so I'm not sure when I'll finish watching. 😂
I want to say I'm so glad the board was reasonable and saw the value in what you do. You got me worried there for a second. Doing this in a different way is exactly why you are able to help so many people. I've watched some great psychiatrists on UA-cam (sometimes just for fun and out of interest rather than necessity) and I really think you are THE doctor to listen to before anyone else.
I totally agree that the system can't handle what's going on, and you are way ahead. When I heard you talk about the 'shit life syndrome' I was like my God, you actually KNOW what the problem is. And that was just one video, I've seen some more since then and you are always spot on about things that most people don't understand. Even when I can't instantly implement your advice, it feels great having an understanding of the situation thanks to you. It's good to know that there is someone out there who CAN help where other professionals are failing.
You are very precious, Dr. K. Never stop doing this. Just looking at the thousands of comments is enough to see the extent of your influence. You are literally saving people's lives one video at a time.
I could go on, but the most important thing is: by doing it your way you are changing the world rather than just helping us fit into it. We all see what's happening and we don't need therapists to just tell us how to get by. We have to learn how to make the world better as we heal, and you're a huge part of that process.
Thank you so much for bringing awareness to us all and for saying it like it is. Everyone who walks away from your video and the comment section feeling a little better - and that will be most of your viewers - will tell you you're doing the right thing.
No don’t need to get your act together !
This was great ! You went so in depth with this I love it ❤
Thank you for sharing this timely and helpful video, Dr. K.
Wonderful video. So much great information. So much I can directly apply to my own life. I appreciate these videos very much!
It just feels like the more you work, the more work you get...
On the reprimand: I’m glad to hear from the Board on whether or not Dr. K’s “interviews” crossed the line into therapy. I’ve learned so much from that content, but I was always a little wary about where that line was. I trust that the standards are high, which is good because the stakes are also quite high. And it’s good to hear Dr. K speak so highly of the process. It speaks to a good-faith effort to avoid doing harm, and that means a lot when so much good work is being done.
Being a part of a community and working towards a common goal is what will give you sense of purpose and belonging. There isn't that sense of community left anymore in the west, everyone is atomized and you can see it in the rise of depression.
All of this is deliberate by the people in charge of the whole west. This isn’t happening because we f‘d up. It’s because it’s deliberate.
I honestly don't think humans will be able to achieve that deep trust and connection with the community in this reality. We would need matrix for that, or for irl - fundamentally change human DNA to make it impossible to be bad person purposefully. Both will happen, likely within a few hundred years from now
Very helpful video! This study and discussion about how we feel about our existence is one of the most fascinating things to me! I know from my own experience it's always felt like theres this internal and external expectation to exist a certain way.
- I work a decent job and get told it won't be enough to provide a family or enjoy live.
- I try to enjoy my passions but told it's not financially valuable or weird
-Will get yelled at screamed at years of people's experiences, thoughts, complaints, and all of that gets internalized and never releases as well as with my sense of self.
You basically feel like your stuck in a box and when you try to break out you're told you should be grateful and happy but it doesn't work. You wanna live but you don't want to have to scream and rage in intense ways just for people to just accept your existence instead of trying to force you to their believes.
It's been rough but it's helped a lot finding moments to myself where I just exist. Those little moments where you can reconnect with yourself.
I hope everyone here can find more of those moments for themselves too and remember to take care of yourself
1:27:50 "Its a real tragedy, that society does not allow us to be bad at things"
1:28:20 "I really need to get my act together because there is 30 minutes left and this has been one post"
Not even a minute apart man
@@nickmagrick7702 Good catch
Congrats to you! Plus, it’s normal for docs and other professionals to have complaints and self governance (boards) to protect everyone, especially the public. It’s important. It’s often not a third party. It’s a group of peers, often doing volunteer work. Thanks to Dr. K for showing up, explaining the process, doing a good job, being transparent and humble about it.
It’s normal for docs to have an investigation by peers.
Your channel is awesome.
From a fellow mental health professional. Bravo 👏
I forward your videos to my own clients as additional support to their therapy.
You rock!
Fuck society, i like life so much more since i dropped out of society
What exactly do you mean by "dropped out of society"? Do you live in a shed in the middle of the forest? Just curious.
Pls elaborate, i want to try
@@untermensch787 my cousin and I moved to a rural part of BC he is a paramedic i work from home and i rarely see anyone but him
Dropping out of society also means withdrawing from the internet, as we are still communicating as a society with this video.
Are still able to have income with this lifestyle?
Always a huge help on the journey of life, Dr. K...thank you for keeping me grounded
The buying power of our wages has stagnated since the 80’s, $26/hr in 1980 is $80/hr today. While prices of everything else have risen
Congratulations to Dr. K and The Team™️ for facing this massive 2 year process!
Grateful for all the work everyone is doing🤙✨️
Basically society, essentially the people in it, expect you to devote 100% into fulfilling their expectations, even though they contradict themselves in more ways than one, and any shortcomings, even if it is a natural disaster or accident, is always you to blame, and their shortcomings is also your fault, and any form of leisure is unproductive unless you are hitting the gym very hard as a leisure activity, otherwise all leisure activity should have monetary gains as a goal.
It took me 15 years to graduate with only bachelor's degrees.
Keep going
I'm not a success story, but I did learn the value of PACING FOR SUSTAINABILITY.
I ended up getting out of the cult I was raised in.
Success
The only thing I've ever found that felt WORTH pursuing is spiritual growth... I can't find a single other thing I want to create, do, or strive for. I want to grow spiritually and when I'm feeling a little confident, I want to help others do the same... I find enjoyment in solving problems for other people (SOMETIMES doing the labor required to solve the problem)...
Same! This and being in nature and with its creatures
The work you are doing is having an infinite profound benefit on my life. Thank you Dr. K!
Everyone I know feels this way
Thank you Dr.K for helping others and trying to help Reckful to the best of your abilities and for the content you make. We'll all remember and miss Reckful. RIP Reckful, you were and still are a legend.
I got my first job at 14 and have been working ever since. I'm not even 30 yet and I'm so done. Fuck working. My father was loyal to a "job" for roughly 40 years and right before retirement they threw him away. Fuck that
It took me eight years to graduate from college, and in the end I had selected three majors, completed two of them, completed a minor, and studied abroad in Japan for six months. I'm not even remotely using anything I studied in in any way that results in any sort of financial gain, but I really enjoyed and still enjoy having built up a base of knowledge around topics that are of interest to me, to include coming here to continue learning about psychology and spirituality, with the medical side being a bit of icing on the cake. Life is absolutely not a race. Just do you.
You can't give all of yourself if you don't have a self to give.
55:11 they will never give you the gratitude that is commensurate to what you sacrificed
Thanks man I literally searched for this quote to come back to thank god you gave the timestamp
@@paulhk2727no worries . It was so powerful to hear that