How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship - You'll Be Surprised

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  • Опубліковано 26 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @puritykaroki765
    @puritykaroki765 8 років тому +1767

    am just tired of this feeling

  • @jenxpoohbear
    @jenxpoohbear 9 років тому +847

    What I got from this video was that simply being with someone or in a relationship will not simply just make you happy, it's more about being happy with yourself and having self worth and self respect. Even if someone may say or do some things that make you "suffer" from jealousy or what have you, your feelings of the jealousy or anxiety come from what you truly think and feel of yourself. Doesn't mean that because that person may make you feel a certain way that you have to either stay with them or leave them, it's just about being secure and happy with yourself which you can do either on your own or while you are in a relationship. Life to me is more of a self journey and others are put into your life to help you get to the point where you need to be and sometimes that means being hurt or feeling jealous or insecure, because it helps you to grow and learn about yourself to get one step closer to fulfilling your own happiness within yourself. This is just what I got out of it and I'm not sure if it even makes sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me and actually makes me feel more at ease with myself because I now realize that my feelings are based mainly on how I see myself as a person, not how someone else may see me.

    • @RICHIE_RICH89
      @RICHIE_RICH89 8 років тому +2

      makes sense

    • @antonioarroyo9048
      @antonioarroyo9048 8 років тому +12

      +Jennifer Ann this respond is just as good as the video. amazing input and you further solidify how i comprehend his concept..... or truth

    • @fadidabban
      @fadidabban 8 років тому +12

      Plot twist: there doesn't seem to be any precise "purpose" for life, only what you think there is, objectively speaking there isn't , I don't know whether to feel sad or happy about this realization

    • @plaguedguy85
      @plaguedguy85 8 років тому +3

      Your reply was a really good way to sum up the video. We put meaning to Our emotions biasly. So when we become a clean slate of clear thiughts,we could make better judgements.

    • @relaxwithme__
      @relaxwithme__ 8 років тому

      +Jennifer Ann yes girl!

  • @jennaspence9994
    @jennaspence9994 7 років тому +1116

    I'm jealous of other girls talking to him and I'm jealous of the girls he talked to before we dated and what he said to them

  • @thatgirlcocoa
    @thatgirlcocoa 4 роки тому +302

    “If you just try to change their behavior, you’re going to suffer”

    • @JanelleFraser
      @JanelleFraser 4 роки тому +10

      It is such an important quote, thanks for highlighting it!

    • @mrgodgaming1598
      @mrgodgaming1598 4 роки тому +2

      Chocolate Coated damn right man

    • @riyaddahami975
      @riyaddahami975 2 роки тому

      Modt relatable quote i swearrr

  • @Leosun80
    @Leosun80 5 років тому +931

    Anyone working on themselves this 2019?

    • @TokenFun105
      @TokenFun105 5 років тому +8

      Trying.

    • @terriannarnold6386
      @terriannarnold6386 5 років тому +5

      I struggle daily with these insecurities I just TRY!

    • @TheBigDaddy1983
      @TheBigDaddy1983 5 років тому +3

      We should work on our mental health just as we work out our bodies 😁

    • @deto3155
      @deto3155 5 років тому +5

      For sure. I'm not even in a relationship at the moment, but I am just trying to become better in general before doing so again.

    • @rasmuswastaken8798
      @rasmuswastaken8798 5 років тому +1

      So, Im kinda an Idiot.
      So there is a girl, she has a boyfriend and Im fine with that. Now comes the tricky part. She ALWAYS talks about this guy and his „benefits“. So basically, out of nothing, I got jealous. Thanks brain

  • @emmaburgess3297
    @emmaburgess3297 8 років тому +523

    This is quite mind blowing. It's made me not want to change my partners actions and re evaluate my own happiness, disconnect my own self worth from his love.

    • @candyg06
      @candyg06 8 років тому +3

      true

    • @happycappy1457
      @happycappy1457 6 років тому

      Emma Burgess yes! Awesome!

    • @swetakesharwani4680
      @swetakesharwani4680 6 років тому

      Today i'd breakup with mah love but i couldn't understand he sae he his fade up of me b'cos i'm to much jealous of other girls

    • @marilainavanderburg2834
      @marilainavanderburg2834 5 років тому

      Wonderfully said💜

    • @gvee20
      @gvee20 5 років тому

      Yesssss

  • @OskarJNovoa
    @OskarJNovoa 5 років тому +131

    The older I get the more I realize that jealousy is my own issue and not my partner's. If you truly love someone you cannot believe they will cheat on you all time and that if you truly love them, you must trust them. Easier said than done I know but if they are not giving you any reasons to be jealous, you are the issue.

    • @troycooper4349
      @troycooper4349 4 роки тому +5

      Wow spot on my friend you hit the nail on the head of what I am doing......I am the issue I am not going to deal with this jealousy monster anymore......she has been saying thats what it was I all along and I would not believe her until now.......

    • @vanjatodorovic347
      @vanjatodorovic347 4 роки тому +1

      Yeah man,but same if they're not giving you any reason to trust them and 1736389 to not trust them

    • @SheraXGD
      @SheraXGD 2 роки тому +1

      Not that I didn't believe her. It just a childish word she said about her guy friend. "He's cute and handsome" hit me on heart.

    • @Jared-dj5dd
      @Jared-dj5dd 2 роки тому +3

      @@SheraXGD bro leave her wtf
      , that’s deff not cool

    • @killjoy4540
      @killjoy4540 2 роки тому

      @@SheraXGD she did it to evoke jealousy in you
      Leave her or tell her to stop hurting you as that’s not love

  • @contemporarygirl229
    @contemporarygirl229 5 років тому +75

    Watching this with a heavy heart. I hate this feeling😭

  • @DavidAnderson-xh4fh
    @DavidAnderson-xh4fh 8 років тому +154

    This sound like a video you need to watch after a breakup. Your argument is valid but it's not helping when dealing with jealousy

    • @joshgonzalez2858
      @joshgonzalez2858 4 роки тому +7

      Exactly what i was thinking. Not really helping.

    • @vkb5306
      @vkb5306 4 роки тому +1

      Exactly.

  • @barbieandguns7294
    @barbieandguns7294 8 років тому +107

    You've opened my mind. I conclude that we need to love ourselves more than we love our partner. That's how it works. I love your advice. You're very helpful.

  • @connorknott9224
    @connorknott9224 6 років тому +31

    Anxiety and insecurities come in relationships. If u truly want that person, and u think they can give u happiness in the long term future, then you can go through those things to stay with the person u love. DO NOT break off something bc u are insecure or anxious. Comfort comes with time, figure yourself out and figure your relationship out.

  • @alicedulson1
    @alicedulson1 9 років тому +191

    With me I don't fear them leaving me because it makes me feel less worthy, I know that I am worthy and I know others will love me and I will be to their preference but I want to be loved by the person who I love because I enjoy their company and them being a part of my life. I'm fearful of losing that

    • @suesswasserpirat7482
      @suesswasserpirat7482 9 років тому +19

      How do you know that you are worthy? How do you know someone loves you? Are you absolutely sure about that? Is worthiness tangible? Nope. It's a concept, a thought - a belief. You just are. You don't need to believe you are worthy or unworthy. How is unworthiness measured? Show me one thing that can measure beauty, coolness, being boring etc. It just comes down to personal preference which come from thoughts. You just are and that's a beautiful thing. I hope that helped.

    • @fadidabban
      @fadidabban 7 років тому +6

      I think you have a very healthy mindset and I wish you the best - knowing that your worthy is the core essence of happiness - what comes after that is basically the cherry on the cake - yes you will be disappointed if they leave you but you will always remain worthy and in love with yourself

    • @cookiecutter5162
      @cookiecutter5162 7 років тому

      You're missing the point... you are NOT worthy. How do you know you're worthy? How do you know others will love you and not just love sticking it in?

    • @camilacabellosfa7716
      @camilacabellosfa7716 5 років тому +10

      Cookie Cutter Hey, that's just called self love and let's just be grateful that she didn't lose her self-esteem. She has a healthy and great mindset or perspective of herself.

    • @076657
      @076657 5 років тому +1

      Alice Smith fat people are not worthy of love. Everybody knows that. It's basic

  • @livinglovingnature8711
    @livinglovingnature8711 5 років тому +193

    I've watched lots of vids on UA-cam about jealousy as I want as many ideas as possible to lose my jealousy and this video is great too....our happiness is not in a material thing (another person) it's in us. I'm happy to just be me and if my partner talks to a prettier funnier girl I'm going to try to just absorb the moment and be like hey it's cool because if he's with me it's because he wants to be and if he goes it's because he wants to go but my happiness doesn't go with him as I'm already happy with me. It's not a direct attack on me if he goes and cheats. Jealousy won't stop him cheating anyway it will just push him away and make me feel shitty so it's a no win feeling. I'm going to try to just be at peace and calm with my inner happiness :) I love you tube videos but you have to be ready yourself to fully work on yourself. Jealousy is not the fault of someone else it's your own problem to overcome, get honest with yourself and you will set yourself free! :) great vid

    • @rogermartin3765
      @rogermartin3765 4 роки тому +1

      unknown userr
      Are you projecting?

    • @JanelleFraser
      @JanelleFraser 4 роки тому

      Have you been able to get a handle on the jealousy? WHat have you found that is helpful for it?

    • @trishataylor2837
      @trishataylor2837 3 роки тому

      Notice she doesn't answer your question

    • @usersnoone
      @usersnoone 2 роки тому

      wow this makes me feel better

    • @sydneytreece5680
      @sydneytreece5680 Рік тому +1

      It gets better with time. Truly every time you get jealous for no rhyme or reason. Just sit with it and let it pass. Don’t beat yourself up it’s a really difficult and painful wound to clean .Just say I’ll do better next time. And actively try to be better next time.

  • @boredasf3786
    @boredasf3786 8 років тому +256

    When u say "right" its very reassuring lol

  • @dearella9450
    @dearella9450 9 років тому +253

    When he said "love is not real" i think he meant love is not "concrete".. you can't see nor touch it but it's definitely real. Just my opinion :)

    • @antonioarroyo9048
      @antonioarroyo9048 8 років тому +23

      +Dear Ella yea lol someone can get really damaged if they didn't decipher it well

    • @punjabikahani2737
      @punjabikahani2737 7 років тому +5

      Dear Ella correct

    • @camilacabellosfa7716
      @camilacabellosfa7716 5 років тому +5

      Angry Hothead Well okay, that's your belief based on what you've gone through. I broke up with my gf but we still are good friends. You know, the right time and the right person will always come and for that time to come, we always have to go through bad relationship problems just to learn and not do the same mistakes for our right person in the future.

    • @nhlanhlambatha
      @nhlanhlambatha 5 років тому +3

      He actually meant that. That love does not exist. It is an imaginary story in your head. Something you believe is there. Like you could believe someone loves even if they were cheating on you. And you also dont love anyone, but love peace and happiness. And if someone gives you that peace - then great you want to keep them with you. Thats what I think he means.

    • @kattheobald7470
      @kattheobald7470 5 років тому +3

      Dear Ella agreed. Love is real but not a physical REAL thing we can touch

  • @grapiken7766
    @grapiken7766 8 років тому +110

    I want my next boyfriend to be just like this guy. So emotionally intelligent and handsome at the same time!

    • @StormFalcon61
      @StormFalcon61 8 років тому +2

      You have just found it :)

    • @grapiken7766
      @grapiken7766 8 років тому +1

      Praetorian 61
      Ha ha!

    • @cameronrightmier848
      @cameronrightmier848 8 років тому +1

      Gra Piken I can be that

    • @grapiken7766
      @grapiken7766 8 років тому +1

      Cameron Rightmier
      Except I avoid gigolos.

    • @sbo6477
      @sbo6477 7 років тому +8

      you dont deserve a ''next'' boyfriend, or any boyfriend with that mindset of ''next boyfriend''

  • @therealexia
    @therealexia 5 років тому +17

    This is so true. My goodness. I have severe anxiety and it effects even the simplest things because my thoughts go to a bad place.

  • @lovemecom3832
    @lovemecom3832 7 років тому +154

    Jealousy is part of a relationship, but you need to know your limitations because too much jealousy can affect your relationship and it might make your relationship too complicated.

    • @leonidalemonade3072
      @leonidalemonade3072 6 років тому +26

      It's difficult when you're in the moment..

    • @sarikatiwari2675
      @sarikatiwari2675 6 років тому +8

      May be am getting too much jealous now a days 😑 I Don want to but I can't control it

    • @brittneyharfield
      @brittneyharfield 5 років тому +3

      i agree. it’s okay to be jealous, n it’s good to talk about those feelings. if it’s taken too far, then that’s where it becomes a concern. people can be too controlling, and that isn’t healthy. it’s best to talk those feelings out before anything gets out of hand and impulsed actions come along.

    • @billlee8573
      @billlee8573 5 років тому

      yes but sometimes you can't control it

    • @lexissonoski1280
      @lexissonoski1280 5 років тому +2

      i have too much jealousy and it’s bad. it gets out of control and idk how to stop it. someone help please.

  • @mr.nobody6829
    @mr.nobody6829 7 років тому +183

    Is being alone the only way avoiding suffering? Is there a possibility we can stay in a realationship and still remain happy?

    • @cherrybeadfactory
      @cherrybeadfactory 7 років тому +11

      Mr. Nobody same question haha

    • @marcelamarquez8232
      @marcelamarquez8232 7 років тому +67

      He didn’t mean to say we need to be alone to be happy, just that we need to know that our happiness is not tied to someone else and once we realize that, our fear and anxiety (jealousy) is diminished.

    • @iREZARECTEM
      @iREZARECTEM 5 років тому +5

      According to published author James K. Van Fleet in his audio program "Conversation Power", he said you must and your partner must "Choose to be Happy". This is a conscious decision that you will always choose happiness over any quarrel.

    • @madeline4519
      @madeline4519 4 роки тому +4

      I’m alone but I’m jealous of the girls that talk to my crush so no, apparently even when your single you still can’t avoid suffering

    • @sparkftwgaming1314
      @sparkftwgaming1314 2 роки тому

      Hey! It's just like you always hurt someone you love! Intentionally u dont... But u always hurt the people you love because you can't hurt the people that you don't love

  • @EskoBomb
    @EskoBomb 9 років тому +88

    I really need to re-watch this daily. That and the anger management stuff. Thanks for this channel. I threw a hand grenade at my relationship after all of the anxiety built up over resentment. I really want happiness... And I believe in us... I believe she is strong and has potential to be mature and responsible when enabled. I want to keep her.

  • @TheJesusNacho
    @TheJesusNacho 9 років тому +409

    Such a smart man. Big respect for sharing your wisdom.

    • @NoahElkrief
      @NoahElkrief  9 років тому +33

      Rico Suave Thanks Rico. But this doesn't come from intellect, it comes from just watching thoughts.

    • @TheJesusNacho
      @TheJesusNacho 9 років тому +2

      Noah Elkrief :)

    • @rudalip18
      @rudalip18 8 років тому +1

      True

    • @ManjuKannan23
      @ManjuKannan23 8 років тому +7

      great video i'm dealing with this

    • @Kevinproducciones2
      @Kevinproducciones2 5 років тому +2

      Did you know that you are watching this because this goes with your actual beliefs?, therefore you think he's smart, because for you this is to be smart, but if you watch a video that contradict your beliefs you're gonna think that person of the video is stupid.

  • @atobee2595
    @atobee2595 8 років тому +83

    Ego! It has been ruining the life of man for eons.

  • @ramizel092190
    @ramizel092190 8 років тому +19

    It's not about my family, my boyfriend or my friends but its all about ME. The whole ME and my relationship to myself. I know I have lots of insecurities and jealousy that I have to work on. And thanks to this video, it makes me understand myself more. This is all about self discovery, self growth and being WHOLE as a person regardless. But it does not mean breaking up or being away from your love ones. :)

    • @LuaStutzer
      @LuaStutzer 8 років тому

      Mel Magamayo I love your comment ,I'm the same way , it's so interesting topic to talk about

  • @shelly11122
    @shelly11122 8 років тому +4

    This has actually helped me dramatically. I no longer wanna change his actions and words but fix my own insecurities, self doubt and stop letting my surroundings ruin my good mood and happiness because OUR happiness matters to me

  • @Donkeyturkeychickenhorse
    @Donkeyturkeychickenhorse 4 роки тому +27

    Jealousy in a relationship usually stems from past experiences.

  • @BattleKid619
    @BattleKid619 5 років тому +37

    That feeling when you have no reason not to trust them, but every part of you is screaming you cant trust them.

    • @contemporarygirl229
      @contemporarygirl229 5 років тому +6

      Worst feeling ever😩

    • @cryssofficial3859
      @cryssofficial3859 4 роки тому +6

      Going through that right now

    • @nobs4689
      @nobs4689 4 роки тому +3

      Abondenment issues

    • @XxwobmonsterXx
      @XxwobmonsterXx 4 роки тому +6

      Everyday , she texts her guy friends and I get that way but I know she won’t do anything but I just CANT bring myself to trust and idk

    • @jacekdaniels6016
      @jacekdaniels6016 4 роки тому +5

      fucks sake there has to be way to deal with this believe

  • @that_joshuazz_guy3547
    @that_joshuazz_guy3547 4 роки тому +165

    2020 goals 😂 anyone with me?

    • @Luc1frfr
      @Luc1frfr 4 роки тому +1

      Me watching because my otaku girlfriend keep rubbing my face with anime character and even wants them more than me and I'm glad they die 👁👄👁

    • @lunardemonlife7152
      @lunardemonlife7152 4 роки тому

      Me

    • @EliasThell
      @EliasThell 4 роки тому

      yeap

    • @777morningstar6
      @777morningstar6 4 роки тому

      Yea:\

    • @3l_OG
      @3l_OG 4 роки тому

      Hell ya

  • @TheDylanJoyce
    @TheDylanJoyce 9 років тому +17

    God I hate Jealosy... no matter how natural it is to feel jealousy, The more people that know, the more they try to rub it in your face for their own satisfaction....

  • @Valhallx
    @Valhallx 8 років тому +21

    This video helped me immensely. Although I am no longer in a relationship, I am still somewhat upset about the break up and was feeling very low, this video was spot on. Thanks again Noah Elkrief.

  • @suesswasserpirat7482
    @suesswasserpirat7482 8 років тому +17

    Why does every guru want to tell people how to stop or eliminatw the prime natural emotions like jealousy, fear and anxiety? It's not possible to eliminate them. Rather accept them for what they are and see if they can even help you.

  • @natalisubelza1586
    @natalisubelza1586 3 роки тому +5

    This is a very difficult situation to face.... when you really feel that want to stay in a relationship but you're suffering inside.. and the worst thing is that I'm suffering not because of reality but because of my thoughts that directly affect my emotions, my actions and my partner's feelings as well. This a great video to reflect. Thanks a lot!

  • @ptmarkoviitanen
    @ptmarkoviitanen 6 років тому +35

    I am a victim of superjealous wife. Every single day she blames me for cheating, just because her ex's cheated her. I have never cheated her and it never even crossed my mind. I was very athletic and in good shape before meeting her and won national gold medals in combat sports etc. but some time I started smoking pack of cigarettes per day and stopped the sports, just because I was so depressed about getting blamed for no reason every single day, all than time... So before thinking that you are victim of cheating, make sure that your other half is not victim of your jealousy.

    • @luckonpereda7083
      @luckonpereda7083 5 років тому

      Sorry to hear that. Godbless

    • @anthonyhurtado7358
      @anthonyhurtado7358 4 роки тому +1

      @@luckonpereda7083I'm seeing a woman who gets jealous when I speak of female actors from long ago. She doesn't want to hear me talk about any females friends or even hang out with them. She checks into my FB looking for evidence I'm cheating on her. She also has issues when I'm successful in making money for something I built. She's awesome to be around at times but usually, I have to explain to her why I'm talking to so and so. It's not fun at all when I find myself explaining to her about my female friends or why she thinks I need the center of attention when I don't. I too am in great shape and I do have females that are interested in me, but I' m not interested in anyone else. I stopped having sex with her because when I do have sex she starts acting different, demanding. I put myself on the NOFab for several weeks to help out with my bodybuilding and other areas and now she thinks I'm having sex with someone else. I broke up with her and put her on the friend zone for being insecure and now she's begging me to go back with her. Her jealousy is making me resent her, even feel angry.

    • @ghoulest8
      @ghoulest8 4 роки тому

      Yeah, me too. I have been cheated too. I dont know to get rid of that feelings. Feeling like u dont want to lose the one you love. Its hard to trust the other person like the first time u used to be. I feel sorry to you. My advised to you buddy, u must be patient and always pay attention to ur wife. I hope ur relationship will be okay and long lasting

  • @MrAmine503
    @MrAmine503 7 років тому +31

    Man, seriously. I've seen mentors on youtube, but you man! you're the best. seriously.. you're changing lives here.

  • @bbyjcky1
    @bbyjcky1 8 років тому +35

    BUT I DO LOVE ME. Its just, i get anxiety and worry because im putting so much in, and it would suck to say i wasted 5 years on an idiot. Its not that im insecure, or that my happiness depends on them...

    • @MarcoAntonio-rc9sd
      @MarcoAntonio-rc9sd 5 років тому

      XXbiz I feel
      You

    • @nikkigonzalez8031
      @nikkigonzalez8031 4 роки тому

      I felt that

    • @v5984
      @v5984 4 роки тому

      Sameeeee
      This is what it’s about for me also
      I don’t think I’m unworthy if they stop loving me I just don’t wanna waste time
      I don’t even care if I’m told I’m cheated on, like ok whatever bye. My bf of 6 years cheated.
      It’s the fact of not knowing for me and wasting time

    • @babaika802
      @babaika802 3 роки тому

      Same. After years of investing (time & energy) during the most productive and “prime” years of my life with her, anxiety of her showing interest in another is more about fear of all that important time wasted (and fear of the pain associated with it) than my ego or self worth or things I feel I need to work on.

    • @juanrestrepo1017
      @juanrestrepo1017 3 роки тому +1

      I’m not sure about the vid as a whole. But to your question. Gotta stop thinking abt it as an investment. Enjoy every single minute you have it - the present. Same thing with Investments, the house may catch fire, ur stock portfolio may take a downturn or that cattle you bought got sick a died just enjoy while you have it and be grateful.

  • @M3LT666
    @M3LT666 8 років тому +295

    Noah you really making me want to be single hahaha

  • @nickk6390
    @nickk6390 9 років тому +17

    Noah,
    I agree with what you have said, but from what I understand Is that one persons love shouldn't mean anything to you. Their love isn't what makes you happy, I agree. Then what is their love? What is love period? Wouldn't love be meaningless if it isn't what makes me happy? Why would I choose a certain person over the other? What makes them so special? Why would anyone choose to be in a relationship if you don't believe the other person to be special?
    Sincerely,
    Nick K

  • @j.martin5104
    @j.martin5104 5 років тому +12

    "If they love you, does that mean you are great, and worthy, and lovable? NO!" lol. I loved this.

    • @Sun-soilproductions
      @Sun-soilproductions 4 роки тому +1

      J. Martin I lolled at this I was like “..wait dafuq”

  • @Moca-Mist
    @Moca-Mist 8 років тому +3

    You just saved me from the anguish I've been in. I can't thank you enough. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. You're awesome! Thank you.

  • @cati101
    @cati101 8 років тому +26

    this guy knows his shit.

    • @bigboy1250
      @bigboy1250 3 роки тому

      thats why hes a doctor???????????????????dickhead

    • @quchi7232
      @quchi7232 3 роки тому

      @@bigboy1250 I think that was a compliment.

  • @helfini1
    @helfini1 7 років тому +1

    Totally makes sense , we often forget that the only person responsible for our own happiness is ourselves , and loving ourselves has to come first. Something people including myself often forget in a relationship.

  • @nishijain1080
    @nishijain1080 4 роки тому +6

    Everytime he said “right” i went 🥺

  • @brownhairedgirl23
    @brownhairedgirl23 2 роки тому +2

    All these explanations and analogies… the best I’ve ever heard. Most UA-camrs don’t help like this; they give advice said a billion times by every other dating guru. Words can’t explain how grateful I am to have come across this video. Thank you.

  • @samsmile5201
    @samsmile5201 8 років тому +111

    Just don't care too much and u won't feel jealousy,u welcome

    • @mathew1812
      @mathew1812 6 років тому +2

      I agree

    • @camilacabellosfa7716
      @camilacabellosfa7716 5 років тому +17

      How can I not care too much when I love her so much?

    • @temperature9342
      @temperature9342 5 років тому +12

      @@camilacabellosfa7716 u can do it, don't react or asking her who are u talking too or who is this guy... Etc, let me tell u she'll get mad/crazy when you don't react when she tries to make u jealous.

    • @Kevinproducciones2
      @Kevinproducciones2 5 років тому +1

      Hello I want to be your friend

    • @SuperRolex100
      @SuperRolex100 5 років тому +2

      That's what I thought so before, but when u love someone and u lose it because of that tactic then that's your fault, gotta have some leverage. Agree or disagree??

  • @victoriageorgieva1601
    @victoriageorgieva1601 3 роки тому +5

    I’m jealous if someone has a better grade than me ,spends more time with someone than me ,has more likes than me ,has more friends than me ,has a better body than me, is prettier than me, goes out more than me, has more attention than me and all that because I’m insecure, jealousy destroys my life and makes it times more difficult just because of some insecures

  • @sambencashin7421
    @sambencashin7421 5 років тому +15

    I’m here because I love my boyfriend and myself and trying to improve myself.
    And I’m crazy ho

  • @TeaLovingDino
    @TeaLovingDino 9 років тому +1

    I must be honest, half way through this video I getting more jealous and anxious, but by the end I realised that this makes so much sense! I suffer from anxiety, and after a year my relationship is now long distance due to university. I have been struggling to keep jealous thoughts out of my head and keep my anxiety at bay, and by watching this I finally feel at ease. It's difficult when you think your happiness is dependant on one person and only they can make you happy, but really the only person you should hold accountable for you happiness is yourself. Thank you for sharing your discoveries x

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 4 роки тому +3

    I want peace, happiness, joy, and fulfillment myself.

  • @ArchFilmsLvagnone
    @ArchFilmsLvagnone 6 років тому +1

    What I got out of this video is to not feel anxiety because the things you thought you cared about really aren’t all that important. Like a person’s love towards you for example. I understand he means that they aren’t the source of your happiness, but he presents it in a way that removes the importance of the relationship to begin with. We all came here because we care about our relationships. The thing is, I’m not afraid of these things because I fear that I will consider myself a bad person or less worthy if she leaves me. I’m afraid to lose her, that’s what I fear, not because I will blame myself.

  • @Alerthomer
    @Alerthomer 8 років тому +37

    I have a girlfriend and I know she loves me but I get so nervous and jealous and kind of angry at my friends for talking to her and other people flirting with her! Please help me! I know I have a really low self esteem and she constantly tells me why she loves me but my esteem keeps telling me I'm a burden please help! Jealousy and my own view of myself...HELP!!

    • @candyg06
      @candyg06 8 років тому +9

      listen to this everyday and apply it.. the things that cause u low self esteem are just lies..dont ever listen to it.

    • @aqualane1
      @aqualane1 7 років тому +22

      I have the same problem. I feel your pain. The only time I’m not jealous in a relationship is when I’m not really in love.

    • @bakchodpanda1362
      @bakchodpanda1362 6 років тому

      Same here too

    • @etegrity3972
      @etegrity3972 5 років тому

      Alerthomer This is how I feel

    • @Alphacentauri819
      @Alphacentauri819 5 років тому +1

      Heal your core wounds, find out your attachment style. Personal development school, by Thais Gibson on UA-cam has totally transformed my thinking!
      Eckhart Tolle, Dr Les Carter too :)

  • @SK-zf3ue
    @SK-zf3ue 7 років тому +1

    As a male at age 22 - 8 years of trying to understand love and wish to influence the "special" persons to love me back or get their love and try to figure out, why they wouldn't love me back and always being depressed and jealous and Noah opened my eyes with one sentence:
    "....you feel the story in your head."
    Thank you, Noah, for this video and your words.
    Greetings from Germany
    SK

  • @Blamjack
    @Blamjack 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you for this. I've been struggling with anxiety in relationships forever and I could never find the root of it. What you say rings true and really does nudge that roadblock.

    • @JanelleFraser
      @JanelleFraser 4 роки тому

      Have you been able to identify what are soem triggers for these feelings?

  • @anthonysalatino8793
    @anthonysalatino8793 5 років тому +2

    Truly powerful, having lost a lot in traumas of life, I am living again and struggle with insecurity, but this will help. THANK YOU

  • @babybassjr1618
    @babybassjr1618 7 років тому +11

    This is the realist stuff I've ever listened too

  • @thecanadianfood
    @thecanadianfood 9 років тому +34

    You seem to have a video for every topic except what I'm looking for.
    I need a how to lose a grudge/how to stop having an intense hatred toward a person.

    • @thecanadianfood
      @thecanadianfood 9 років тому +7

      Also not just any kind of hatred. The kind that comes from knowing a person for a long time and having that hatred kinda evolve from what was once a feeling of love. Platonic love. A decade old and slowly turning into deep intense hatred. That might be oddly specific but what can I do? That's how life happened for me. :/

    • @hubaspeedblues
      @hubaspeedblues 9 років тому +3

      +Canadian Food A brief answer could be that you evolved into something different and you did not appreciate the fact that the other person did not follow your lead.

    • @nightfangs2910
      @nightfangs2910 7 років тому +3

      Canadian Food people you hold a grudge against which is the same as saying I'm very angry with this person. When you hate the only person who gets hurt is you because the person you hate either doesn't know you hate them or doesn't care

  • @Kk-dy8ir
    @Kk-dy8ir 7 років тому +3

    I cried when im watching it,It reminds my self and our relationship,Thank You for making this video

  • @sawonkhan6079
    @sawonkhan6079 8 років тому +1

    Noah Elkrief seriously bro your best motivational speaker of the world. i respect you

  • @bubblekittea
    @bubblekittea 4 роки тому +6

    I disagree with a lot of this, the part about anxiety and insecurity is true but you can love someone for them, not just as a tool to make you happy.

  • @xRose_007
    @xRose_007 9 років тому +6

    I think in every relationship you would have times when you are not happy, after fights, there would be times of jealousy and what not. but what your saying is that if im in any relationship i wont be happy? because in every relationship things happen, fights happen, and bad things are said. but that doesnt mean that you have to leave the person because of it.

    • @danharrison9628
      @danharrison9628 9 років тому

      That's what I got from this video... That no matter what relationship you are you you are going to be unhappy no matter what ?

    • @xRose_007
      @xRose_007 9 років тому

      Dan Harrison what do you mean?

  • @SteffiLove1998
    @SteffiLove1998 7 років тому +44

    I have a question ... i have a boyfriend that i love so much !! I get so jealous when my bf watches films with atractive women in it or when we watches porn , even when he just looks at another girl i get so upset and angry it brings me to tears ... i dont know why i am like this but i cant bear the fact that (even though he dosent say it) he thinks that others are hotter than me because i know he thinks it even though he says he dosent , if i have a bf i think only i shoud attract him not other girls because i actually look at a guy and i honestly dont even think there are atractive at all ... i only find my bf attractive but my brain tells me that he dosent think the same about me , i cant explain how it makes me feel when i think he gets attracted by other he upsets me so much i cry for hours non stop ... what do i do , i wanna be able to trust him and i wanna stop his thoughts about other girls being attractive ... i know its impossible but i get so upset about it 😭😭😭😭

    • @valentinabarriaaguila3546
      @valentinabarriaaguila3546 6 років тому +1

      same here!!!

    • @keeleybibby3826
      @keeleybibby3826 6 років тому +18

      Holy shit this is actually me 💯💯 literally got it all down to a T it's such a horrible feeling 🙄 makes me wanna kill all the bitches in the world 😂 I got you on this one ☝🏻

    • @luciesosassy2497
      @luciesosassy2497 6 років тому +5

      Stephanie Ridgway girlll we are the same person

    • @mikasaackerman8232
      @mikasaackerman8232 6 років тому +2

      Rachel Anne
      That’s exactly what I thought!

    • @amphibiangoddess
      @amphibiangoddess 6 років тому +3

      I came here with the same question looking for the same answer. This was a great motivational video, but did not address the actual jealous feelings. There is more factors that make people feel jealous than self confidence!!! For just one example: if your partner is going out of his or her way to give attention to a person or porn, anger and betrayal factor in. Not to mention you being justifiably skeptical they won’t do it again even if they know it hurt your feelings. A persons self confidence doesn’t dictate jealousy this cut and dry.
      I’m sorry I don’t have an answer. Just wanted to tell you I feel the exact same way and wish I could get more help and be more helpful to you too. Hang in there. My only advice is do not get married until you resolve these feelings. Seriously.

  • @djbooz751
    @djbooz751 8 років тому +37

    It's weird to think that someone you love is not special? the reason you fel in love with someone is because there are special and unique.

    • @jameslogan2622
      @jameslogan2622 8 років тому +23

      They are special to you because you like something about them.That doesn't mean that they are special to everyone else,just to you because you like something that makes them them.That could be their music taste,kindness,intelligence or something else that someone else doesn't appreciate as much as you do.

  • @Katrinberndt
    @Katrinberndt 8 років тому +39

    Thank you!

    • @KrisVic91
      @KrisVic91 8 років тому +1

      haha no way! awesome :)

  • @mervatibrahim759
    @mervatibrahim759 8 років тому +7

    This really helped me reflect on my actions and my own happiness. You're amazing, thank you!

  • @raphabmroque
    @raphabmroque 8 років тому +53

    i think a lot of couples will end their relationship After watching this video hahaha

  • @joooot3012
    @joooot3012 5 років тому

    Upon trying to better myself this 2019, I’ve learned that love truly doesn’t exist. Make yourself happy; spend time with people who make you laugh.

  • @prophetjonasministriesresp2172
    @prophetjonasministriesresp2172 5 років тому +11

    Me I'm jelouse when ever she goes out and when I'm far from her this one is eating me inside when she talk to any guy

  • @mormoua4672
    @mormoua4672 3 роки тому

    I have never understood and truly felted the saying "it is better to loose the person you love than to loose yourself", until this video.

  • @nadegegermain9070
    @nadegegermain9070 5 років тому +12

    I needed vids like that cause I’m so jealous that now I’m getting possessive and ion like that feeling 😭

  • @Jinxo-md2jl
    @Jinxo-md2jl 10 місяців тому

    Probably best video that explains the root cause. Most videos tell you just be confident. No jealousy is an anxiety issue that stems from fear.

  • @paper3993
    @paper3993 5 років тому +3

    She said she would even lift an eye on other guys, I walked through the corridor today and saw her with another guy laughing, just the two of them.

  • @goku145639
    @goku145639 9 років тому +2

    I think you could know they love you. They can easily stay with you with all of the hardships

  • @soona22573
    @soona22573 9 років тому +5

    You know Noah, regardless of your content - which is good of course - it is always a pleasure to hear you talking, your presence for me is like watching a relaxing nature video, or listening to rain sound .. it is very relaxing :)

  • @awarenessandjoy3993
    @awarenessandjoy3993 6 років тому

    Your calmness shows that you have understood life.. Life must be pretty easy and enchanting for you now.. Great.. God bless you..

  • @kathyalmond9991
    @kathyalmond9991 8 років тому +9

    Best video I've ever heard on this subject. Completely Amazing!!!

  • @cphdotdk
    @cphdotdk 9 років тому

    This is very very powerful for those of us having thought that being loved is meaning and happiness - and being scared from loosing it.
    I just went through a break up, that caught me of guard with no "closure" - and now I see that if I had the chance while being in the relationship to be single and happy and free from suffering, rather than being with her and still having all my insecurities.
    This is enlightenment that truly changed the way I have been dealing with the breakup and now see that it's about me being happy first and foremost and not about her and she can never make me happy.
    This is a video that would make sense to watch daily as a reminder.
    Thanks Noah!

  • @maxximilian__
    @maxximilian__ 5 років тому +4

    This helped me release so much pain from a neglectful, abusive, unloving single parent. I sobbed throughout your video & afterwards at the simple, yet powerful truth behind of all your points.
    Thank you so much Noah for being my friend today, listening to you & feeling your kindness has helped me find a conclusion to a decade of healing. This has saved my budding relationship with the woman I want to marry. For this, you have my love.
    I can only hope to repay you in a similarly profound way someday.
    ✌🏽💙🙏🏽🖖🏽
    Maxximilian Alexander

    • @brownhairedgirl23
      @brownhairedgirl23 2 роки тому +2

      I hope you’re doing well today! :) head up, don’t give up on whatever it is you’re currently working through.

    • @maxximilian__
      @maxximilian__ 2 роки тому

      Thank you @@brownhairedgirl23! Right back at you. Happy to say I worked through this! Today is a different challenge, however 😅, but never giving up!

  • @TW-uj6tn
    @TW-uj6tn 7 років тому +1

    Thank you, Noah! I decided that 2018 would be the year that I learned to overcome these relationship anxieties but now that I've found you, perhaps I'll reach this goal ahead of schedule. And, just so you know, I'm about to lie down with you. I was so inspired by this video, that I'm about to place my laptop next to my bed and play your videos until I fall asleep. Thanks again.

  • @Kenny-ce8ey
    @Kenny-ce8ey 5 років тому +6

    If i had to get rid of one of my feelings it will be this😭 Cause it hurts for nothing...

  • @melindawise4289
    @melindawise4289 5 років тому +2

    Noah, I have a question: if all of what you say is true (which I believe it is) what is the point or reason for having a relationship? If they can't make us happy, what is the reason for having a relationship? This is what I'm struggling to understand. I'm so used to thinking of relationships as being about making another person happy and them returning the favor, it is hard for me to wrap my head around the purpose of a relationship outside of them meeting these expectations.

  • @Sunny-oz6rv
    @Sunny-oz6rv 8 років тому +6

    I connect to this on a whole other level...

  • @joannahirst8492
    @joannahirst8492 8 років тому +1

    Noah has made me think about so many things so differently, he shines a light on aspects that effect so many people but in such a rational and thoughtful way, thankyou Noah X :)

  • @sophieen6145
    @sophieen6145 7 років тому +13

    So I relate to the worry that my partner will leave me for someone else. I know one my biggest problems with this is that a lot of the time I dont appreciate myself, and feel I have very little self-worth and therefore he will find someone better and leave me. I listened to the "anxiety they will leave you" part, and I dont think it helped... he said about whatever makes you happy in life. But, to be honest... All of my life sucks until I am with that person. Currently our relationship is long distance, when I'm alone at home, I am never truly happy... I get sad VERY often and all my troubles in life hit me like a brick wall. But as soon as I go and stay at his, its like he makes all my troubles seem so insignifcant and I get so happy I cant describe. I've never had friends or family make me feel this way. I have no hobbies that make me truly happy. So... For you (Noah) to say that even if he leaves I can still be happy, that is SO hard to see... Am I too reliant on my relationship? How to do fix my fear that he will leave me for someone else and I will be alone. I dont get jealous, I'm happy for him to hang around with other people, they're amazing people too. But I get MAJOR anxiety when I hear that he's hanging around with a girl that I know is beautiful and smart and funny, not because I want to be her, but because I'm afraid he'll see that she is better than me, and leave me for her. HELP. I feel like most of the answer is basically just saying "if you loose them, dont worry, its not the end of the world" Which I totally agree with... but this doesnt help me to not feel it. I dont want the ralationship to end, and I sure he doesnt either. But how do I stop feeling this way without telling him, if I tell him that I feel this way when he hangs out with girls, he's either going to try and not hang out with girls, or try to avoid telling me when he does. Which is both a horrible thing for me to even think of! I need to deal with it by myself.

    • @jeannine90kb
      @jeannine90kb 7 років тому +1

      Emma Newman I can definitely relate

    • @katelahr
      @katelahr 7 років тому

      Emma Newman I am going through the exact same thing at the moment. I know all of the “issues” my boyfriend and I are having come straight from my anxiety with life in general but mostly from me thinking he’s gonna cheat on me or something like that. He gets annoyed by how I am starting to “control” his life which is the last thing I want to do to him. And I agree 100% with you because I just moved to College this fall where I won’t see him until the weekend and all week I’ll be majorly stressed and anxious and upset but the moment I see his face I light up and all the stress is gone and when I leave I have a break down. Overall I love him more than I’ve ever loved another person and we work so well together but my jealously and anxiety are getting in the way of things /:

    • @donaldhenry5607
      @donaldhenry5607 5 років тому +1

      The answer is self love, massive amounts of self love and self worth. If you truly saw and accepted yourself as the most beautiful/amazing person in the world without comparing yourself, would you be afraid of losing your guy to another girl? NO.. they would feel privileged being with you

    • @Kiki-js7qg
      @Kiki-js7qg 5 років тому

      You are Insecure. Spend Your Time, Being the BEST that YOU Can Be, and Stop Worrying About What MAY or May Not Happen.

  • @demonfox879
    @demonfox879 6 років тому

    Jealousy is absolutely horrible. For ones self and to the person in the relationship. It can always cloud your judgment for everything. When you're POSITIVE on one thing but the next you're not sure anymore. But NEVER be afraid to challenge those thoughts, always keep pushing. We're never sure on what the answer will be but always be happy for the answer, no matter how much it may hurt because its a lot better than always staying in the dark out of Fear because then you're just prolonging the suffering and it's going to hurt so much more.

  • @melaniehall4542
    @melaniehall4542 5 років тому +3

    Well. He convinced me to stay alone

  • @christinemullaly2581
    @christinemullaly2581 4 роки тому

    Oh my goodness. I needed this so much right now. THANK YOU. You are so well spoken, coming from a person with clinical anxiety in a relationship with a person that I absolutely am head over heels with, but he doesnt quite show his affection the way I do. I need to love myself more.

  • @Yulz2099
    @Yulz2099 9 років тому +3

    Oh, man. You made me cry.

  • @njflower4249
    @njflower4249 4 роки тому

    I completely understand where you are coming from. No matter what. I am determined to get over this. We have two kids together. I'm sure it will just take time.

  • @anajohnson5922
    @anajohnson5922 8 років тому +5

    You are awesome. This was just what I needed to hear today. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

  • @David-qf8pr
    @David-qf8pr 3 роки тому +1

    Im dating an introvert for the first time. She doesn’t really talk about feeling or anything. Im somewhat of a extrovert. Alone we seem cool but she pretty stand offish towards me in groups. Barely looks at me, hard to make her laugh, but my friends do it with ease. Makes me feel not worthy. Sense of humor is huge for me. This helped though. Thanks!

  • @garryoak
    @garryoak 5 років тому +4

    Got it staying alone forever. Thanks.

  • @swapnilbiswas6632
    @swapnilbiswas6632 7 років тому +2

    Thank you.
    That really makes sense. Thank you for pulling me out of this virtual reality.

  • @AnimalMother284
    @AnimalMother284 5 років тому +4

    What if you love yourself but you still get jealous am I just saying this or is there another side

  • @sorcey9532
    @sorcey9532 5 років тому

    I just don't know why I became so dramatic... I used to think just like you in this video and now I'm starting to do it again. This has so much logic and sense! Thank you!

  • @seraffi
    @seraffi 6 років тому +4

    I’m just struggling so much with my boyfriend, it’s pushing him away on house jealous and protective I am, I just get so worried, he talks to my girl mate 24/7 and I can’t see the messages so it really gets me worked up. I’ve had so many boys hurt me and cheat, it’s really effecting me on him. But the thing is it’s pushing me away🤦🏼‍♀️I just seriously wanna trust him but I can’t

  • @jamlaw
    @jamlaw 5 років тому

    Wanting happiness but confusing it with that (or any) person GIVING you happiness... that's key! Very insightful. Thanks!

  • @JohnLitzenberger
    @JohnLitzenberger 9 років тому +4

    Hi Noah,
    I noticed in some of your other videos, you talk about telling yourself that your thoughts are not "real" or they're "imaginary". I understand what you are saying, but to me that thought IS "real". I noticed in this video (and maybe there were others) that you used "believe" as in: "ask yourself if you believe the thought." Using "believe" as opposed to "real" seems to work better on my thoughts. Just an observation.

  • @hope4421
    @hope4421 8 років тому +1

    You just discussed the problem of my life.. I'm working on it 😢💔 thank you so much

  • @mrspacecadet6310
    @mrspacecadet6310 4 роки тому +3

    I always tell myself to stop being jealous and I think about stuff ima do like hanging out wit her or my friends and I end up looking toward to it and I lose the feeling of overthinking but it lasts for 4 seconds then I think even harder about things like...” oh what if she’s talking to another boy or stuff like that man and it’s really bugging me cause it got me depressed and suicidal and then on top of that I got my brother ruining my mood outta no where and he thinks it’s funny but it really jus breaks me and makes me even more stressed 😩

  • @mrsali1138
    @mrsali1138 4 роки тому

    Love is more than how you explained it, love is completely different from preference, love save lives, love is strong it’s not preference

  • @timothyedward6147
    @timothyedward6147 8 років тому +4

    is caring still counts as love, cause recently my "ex" said maybe she still loves me cause she cares about me (we broke up because her parents dont want her with me, but ive been annoying her so she got angry)

    • @thisismycoolnickname
      @thisismycoolnickname 8 років тому

      Caring is an essential part of love but what also is essential is the attraction.

  • @chewchew9057
    @chewchew9057 5 років тому

    Thank you Noah. I am experiencing jealousy for the first time in my life, with somebody I'm not even in a love relationship, only friendship. Your video really helped me and inspired me. You're "effing" on point on my emotions.