You are right...Syd....When you 'rack' a shotgun everyone gets quiet for a second or two. They all know that sound. They are waiting for the enevitable "boom". They have a good spread.
HAHAHAHA L4D 1&2 EPIC! Have you seen the A.I. voice overs with Presidents Bush, Obama, Biden and Trump playing it through? Or Bill and Francis singing Paralyzed? HILARIOUS
Mr SaTuRn Same thing with the Golddigging Whore segment of this act....I was literally rolling in my seat, I was laughing so hard...but the crowd was so quiet for how funny it was
They need to make sawed off shotguns legal again. They are the perfect close quarters home defense weapon. You don't want to be bumping a long barrel into shit or giving the intruder something to reach for in a life or death situation.
If I remember right, that stat includes people who had guns in their home because they're *already* involved in crime and so much more likely to get shot.
“Put that right in my jam-jam sleeve” 😆😂🤣😅 he sneaks shit in like “jam-jam” to go that extra mile to show that he doesn’t know guns, just that he wants one and knows from what he’s seen in movies.
(Posting on my hubbie’s Gacct, lol). I love Burr’s honesty and simplicity!!! That’s what makes his comedy GREAT 😂 I am a female and regardless of anyone’s(other females) opinion, Burr is on point concerning women and the way they operate!!! #1 by far, his “no reason to hit a woman “ .... CLASSIC, TRUE, HILARIOUS 🤣
Or just teach your kids how to use a gun? My old man had me learning by the time I was 5. I fully understood how dangerous they are, that you never play with one, and you never touch one without an express purpose to fire it.
The best thing about small gun store people is that most of them are exactly like how Bill described them, no prejudice, no fluffy language to non gun people, they’ll fix you up with what you need.
Bill Burr: _"(...) and that'll all well and good, but if you don't know how to fight, all you're doing is gathering supplies for the toughest guy on the block."_ Thomas Hobbes: _"Hear, hear!"_
I think every law abiding person should have a gun, even if the Zombies don't come plenty of bad people out there and I think big chance that things are going to get worse. Don't wait till you need a gun to get one because it will be to late. Ideally you should have a pistol or revolver, a shotgun and a powerful centerfire rifle. Then a .22 rifle. Get all the ammo you think you will need and then get three times that. Bad stuff is right down the road
In many countries licensed gun owners have illegitimate firearms due to idiocy regarding registration. It's illegal so they are not law abiding, but they aren't hurting anyone with their guns. They just choose not to let the state know what property they own.
TheFirearmEnthusiast While I think people should be free to own guns, the reason you gave is simply naive. If the state takes away your freedom, you can shoot bazookas at them and it won't do shit against the capabilities of a modern army.
+nfinitiduck No: but they have to consider it and plan for it; you don't seem to have any military experience . They can't just roll up to your house with one guy; who kicks in your door and does what he wants. It ties up an entry team and support; and a big armored vehicle; which means that's fewer guys to do it to your neighbors. And if they get that far outta line they may just get shot for their troubles. same with a biker gang or ms13.(they want soft targets not ones that might make them bleed). But you feel free to go unarmed and beg for mercy while they have fun with your wife an daughters. Sometimes it's not about "YOU"...
Friendly suggestion to those home-defense shotgun owners: Load (in order) 2 slug shells, 2 buckshot, then 2 bird shot. Bird shot shoots first, great spread, slows 'em down, buckshot should get the job done, and if it's a zombie, those slugs are like shooting them with a cannon.
"I want to get a gun"
Best way to open a comedy special.
*Ahhh Hear YA!*
It's between that and "Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
Ghost gun gittin spot #grangergloryhole
No context startups are funny
I heard one who mid act said "I'm depressed" out of nowhere and that was the hardest I heard the crowd laugh
*'S GOTTA GOOD SPREAAD!*
Bill Burr just earned himself a spot on my zombie apocalypse team.
Can i have a spot too
He’d definitely be like Nick from Left 4 Dead 2!
Damn, I wanted him. You up to trade?
@@d73w80 can I be the one guy who gets bit but doesn't tell the rest of the group
@@Kinobambino can I be the guy who gets shot dead randomly so we can Introduce a new enemy faction?
it's in the living room
he's in the living room!!
If there's one universal language everyone understands it is the sound of a shotgun being cocked back hahaha
Amen to that.
Hi-Tec Jaymes *racked back*.
But yes. Agreed.
But he ment a double barrel
You are right...Syd....When you 'rack' a shotgun everyone gets quiet for a second or two. They all know that sound. They are waiting for the enevitable "boom". They have a good spread.
True that shit
It's got a good spread.
Life ain't a movie.
@@hunterpeterson6122 life is like a box of chocolate, ya never know what ya gonna get
@@xaviert8664 Y'gonna get a good spread.
@@Raven7400 yeah brother
@@xaviert8664 diabeetus... ya get diabeetus.
"These people get smart,flip it over, that's it! Its gotta good spread." 😂😂😂😂
Now you don’t have a problem there either
"You step on a rake, in ya go!" lmao
His delivery of the lines is so bloody perfect
"One barrel for you one for me" lol that was genius
If Bill was ever in a zombie apocalypse, I feel like he would end up being like Nick from Left 4 Dead 2.
I can totally see it.
HAHAHAHA L4D 1&2
EPIC!
Have you seen the A.I. voice overs with Presidents Bush, Obama, Biden and Trump playing it through? Or Bill and Francis singing Paralyzed?
HILARIOUS
bill burr predicted season 7 of the walking dead when he said if you can't fight your are just gathering supplies for the toughest guy on the block
Lmao true story. Negan is a dick
T JAY
Thats just life in general...
Or maybe he read the comics and used it for comedy material?
@@JohnSmith-yt5hn he just know the people well.
@@JohnSmith-yt5hn I don't think he's much of a comics guy
"Life ain't a movie."
"you feel me"
Dante Crowell "You ever watch a Movie a guy go blaw blaw blaw he he kills 3 people......Real life man you miss it you miss all the fucking time."
AGbaby235 😂😂😂😂
Dante Crowell LOLZ
The only people who miss are those who don't practice, so yeah that's why so many people miss in the states with handguns.
And then these people here, they saw what you just did here, you ain't got a problem here either, feel me? XD
my favorite part in the vid too i think haha
“... get my parakeet another friend, ...” LMAO! 😂🤣
''One Barrel for you, one barrel for me'' Jesus Christ I don't get why the audience didn't laugh harder at that, I almost drop off my seat.
Mr SaTuRn Same thing with the Golddigging Whore segment of this act....I was literally rolling in my seat, I was laughing so hard...but the crowd was so quiet for how funny it was
Shitty crowds full of uptight people makes for a lot of awkward pauses
+Ace Calderon People generally call them "libtards".
agreed!
Those damn PC liberals!
A comedic genius.
Indeed.
His pantemime while screaming HE'S IN THE LIVING ROOM!! Is fucking gold! Leanin like a motorcycle racer lmao
Honestly this guy is friggin hilarious!
I never thought that Saul's bodyguard wouldn't know shit about guns...
well, apparently he knows more about them to know the typical stat spouter is full of shit.
He knows more about water pollution regulations in the state of New Mexico
He wasn’t a bodyguard
He was an IRS agent
"Can you please stop speaking in these backwoods riddles?" 🤣
5:05 REALLY?!? Cause im gonna load it and shower with it....AUUUUUGHHH EHHHH AWWAAAAAHHH
The way he said “ I hear ya” had me dying lmao
one of my best part about learning English is Bill Burr no contest ... Funniest dude on the planet ..
I have never laughed so hard in my life through the whole stand up bit. The best ever, Bill Burr.
"Step on a rake, in you go". That immediately triggers Tom & Jerry memories
"It's got a good spreeaaaad" 😂 so funny
Hes funny in part because he taps into what any race, sex, or age can relate to. Tied in with talent.
I almost choked on my coffee at 2:21
yep. totally genius comedy
his southern accent sounds like Ralphy may
Brian Banegas R.I.P.
"You step on a rake and in you go!" 😂😂😂😂
I love how he makes you look like a jackass for doing every day things like fixing up an old stool.
It's less the fixing up and more the getting permission from the wife that he's making fun of.
Bill Burr would be the second in command of my zombie apocalypse team
They need to make sawed off shotguns legal again. They are the perfect close quarters home defense weapon. You don't want to be bumping a long barrel into shit or giving the intruder something to reach for in a life or death situation.
+AttentionJunkie Just buy a shot gun, saw it off and don't tell anyone.
Skylar Ruloff If you ever used it you would get in trouble with the federal government.
+AttentionJunkie "They" don't want people to be able to protect themselves, therefore, sawed-off shotguns will NEVER be legal.
But. dude, drywall work. Is has a good spread, remember?
+AttentionJunkie
you can just buy a .44 magnum
Ya step on a rake, in ya go!
That joke about taking your gun in the shower gets even better after knowing that Bert actually did that
I mean, everything the salesman said is correct 😂
You step on a rake and you go...classic Bill Burr
GET A SHINY ONE
That's what I say to people when they want a Macbook. Fucking plebs.
His Supreme Clarkson-ness
What do you recommend? Thinking about getting a new laptop
giggityeffyou a PC if you're techy
Kek
The 80% increase doesn't really make a difference if your percent chance is still somewhere in the 0.00001%
A Spooky Scary Skeleton I don't think so.
If I remember right, that stat includes people who had guns in their home because they're *already* involved in crime and so much more likely to get shot.
he keeps it real ...not all politically correct 😊😀 very honest very funny!!!!
''Get my parakeet another friend' haha
"Your need a shotgun" LMFAO
Good spread.
this guy needs to be a voice actor 😂🤣
Zidonia he actually does have a show called F is for Family. It's an animated family sitcom in the 70s.
I swear no one else can make people laugh as much just by saying "I wanna get a gun"
Bill Burr is the honeybadger of commedians. He don't care.
Jam jam sleeves...haha holy shit.
Lost it there. *whoosh*
This was hilarious. Best comedy short I have ever seen.
😂😂😂got a good spread lmaoooooooo hilarious
"I just want to shoot the guy, I don´t want to do a bunch of drywall work" hahahaha
hollow points expand on impact.
The guy who shouted YEAH!! When Bill said WHAT if yhe zombies come get me every time.. he thought about it for time LOL
“Put that right in my jam-jam sleeve” 😆😂🤣😅 he sneaks shit in like “jam-jam” to go that extra mile to show that he doesn’t know guns, just that he wants one and knows from what he’s seen in movies.
That was never on the chain & just bill being himself! My favorite comedian
It’s got a good spread…., floored and in stitches 😂😂😂
Man this dude killing me 😂😂😂💀
Oh Bill , how you truly make my day!!
why do you need a scope? How big is your house Bill Burr?
On a pistol haha
@@69DangerousD this is deus ex
This guy has changed my life he is the best
i love his, honesty
(Posting on my hubbie’s Gacct, lol). I love Burr’s honesty and simplicity!!! That’s what makes his comedy GREAT 😂 I am a female and regardless of anyone’s(other females) opinion, Burr is on point concerning women and the way they operate!!! #1 by far, his “no reason to hit a woman “ .... CLASSIC, TRUE, HILARIOUS 🤣
Dude, if you haven't seen his stuff you need to watch it. He is fantastic!
I fucking love this dude's comedy
Bill literally just described the "Sanctuary / Negan" storyline from 'The Walking Dead'.
Wife bought me a new shotgun last week lol, love bill.
Omg I remember the first time I heard this I was on the fucking floor, I don’t even need to do sit ups anymore I get abs just by laughing 😂 at bill
Lmao. Bill Burr one of the GOATs.
Get a 10mm handgun, let the wife attempt to chamber a round...
Children can't chamber a gun with a 21+lb recoil spring.
Hidden safety feature.
Or just teach your kids how to use a gun? My old man had me learning by the time I was 5. I fully understood how dangerous they are, that you never play with one, and you never touch one without an express purpose to fire it.
The best thing about small gun store people is that most of them are exactly like how Bill described them, no prejudice, no fluffy language to non gun people, they’ll fix you up with what you need.
But what about the backwoods riddles?1
That too. But it’s usually either only one of the people working, or a regular who hangs out there for some reason.
Who’s watching this inside with a full stock supply of pasta and toilet paper in 2020?
And birdshot, buckshot, and slugs.
It it just me, or does this guy look like Saul's ginger bodyguard in breaking bad?
not sure if trolling..
It is him.
yes he does
Kuby
He is
Its gotta good spread!
"...And these people here..."🤣
2:45 I rarely literally laugh out loud 😂😂
He's in the living room!!!
The lack of laughs when Bill took a stab at himself with the gold coins joke disturbs me lol
Ell, it means ya ain't gotta be that accurate. The further away you are the more shitchu hit. It's gotta good spread
Plaaaant some zucchini 😂😂😂😂
Top 5 comedians of all time
Burr and Louis CK are my favs. I can't wait for Louis to come back.
"Talent hits a target nobody else can hit. Genius hits a target nobody else can see." -Schopenhauer
It is the guy from Breaking Bad and from the Chappelle show.... He's the guy that says I'll have a Samuel Jackson
Yes he was on Breaking Bad.
I knew I saw him somewhere!
Also was in the racial draft
"You step on a rake in you go"!....😂😂
I love this bit
"Miss all the fuckin' time" 🤣🤣🤣
That's Some FUNNY SHIT! All Day Long People!
Bill Burr: _"(...) and that'll all well and good, but if you don't know how to fight, all you're doing is gathering supplies for the toughest guy on the block."_
Thomas Hobbes: _"Hear, hear!"_
Where the scope. In the living room. He is IN the living room. 😂😂😂😂😂
This whole joke is full of amazing and fucking funny cluster jokes
5:09 I’m dying 😂
Absolutely hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
This guy is the spitting image of Vincent VanGogh
Bill Burr picked up where George Carlin left off. . hes the man !
I think every law abiding person should have a gun, even if the Zombies don't come plenty of bad people out there and I think big chance that things are going to get worse. Don't wait till you need a gun to get one because it will be to late.
Ideally you should have a pistol or revolver, a shotgun and a powerful centerfire rifle. Then a .22 rifle. Get all the ammo you think you will need and then get three times that.
Bad stuff is right down the road
"every law abiding person should have a gun" the 2nd amendment exists for when the law takes over your freedom. What if the law is unjust?
In many countries licensed gun owners have illegitimate firearms due to idiocy regarding registration. It's illegal so they are not law abiding, but they aren't hurting anyone with their guns. They just choose not to let the state know what property they own.
TheFirearmEnthusiast While I think people should be free to own guns, the reason you gave is simply naive. If the state takes away your freedom, you can shoot bazookas at them and it won't do shit against the capabilities of a modern army.
+nfinitiduck No: but they have to consider it and plan for it; you don't seem to have any military experience . They can't just roll up to your house with one guy; who kicks in your door and does what he wants. It ties up an entry team and support; and a big armored vehicle; which means that's fewer guys to do it to your neighbors. And if they get that far outta line they may just get shot for their troubles. same with a biker gang or ms13.(they want soft targets not ones that might make them bleed). But you feel free to go unarmed and beg for mercy while they have fun with your wife an daughters. Sometimes it's not about "YOU"...
46ace You're pretty naiive. They send a tank, you and your house are dust and memories. Tiananmen Square guy-style.
bobby flay is hilarious
Lol
rofl. u win the internet
YES
the public: "Why is corona virus so dangerous?"
scientists: 1:47
It's got a good spread
"Now you step on a rake in you go..." hahahahah
ITS GOT A GOOD SPREEEAD
Friendly suggestion to those home-defense shotgun owners: Load (in order) 2 slug shells, 2 buckshot, then 2 bird shot. Bird shot shoots first, great spread, slows 'em down, buckshot should get the job done, and if it's a zombie, those slugs are like shooting them with a cannon.
Hes just so funny best of his gen.
I'm not sure how much of this story actually happened, but it's true that shotguns are the way to go.