Bill Burr⎢Five year olds have no excuse for being fat!⎢Shaq's Five Minute Funnies⎢Comedy Shaq

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  • Опубліковано 21 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,6 тис.

  • @Omgitszackk
    @Omgitszackk 8 років тому +9731

    Best entrance: "Was this too quick a transition?"

    • @kylebecker5647
      @kylebecker5647 6 років тому +604

      Christopher Bales What are you talking about? That joke was clearly about kids, and had nothing to do with black people. Even the people in the audience understood that, quit making everything about race.

    • @narts83
      @narts83 6 років тому +185

      Let your eyes adjust lol, dudes too funny

    • @thehybridkid1615
      @thehybridkid1615 6 років тому +98

      UA-cam favors snowflakes so if I dislike your comment I’m gonna let you know because UA-cam won’t. With that being said Christopher your a dumb shit

    • @jasonbasant5624
      @jasonbasant5624 6 років тому +35

      @@christopherb5183 nigga what? 😂😂😭😭😭

    • @MrRaja
      @MrRaja 6 років тому +25

      @@christopherb5183 hey rude boi you need slapping man? Are you that little 400lb bastard I almost ran over last week?

  • @duckticklervii854
    @duckticklervii854 8 років тому +8195

    "i had my first heart attack when i was 4" that part just killed me XD.

    • @Kuebel350
      @Kuebel350 8 років тому +150

      It also ended up killing the child. :P

    • @ahlemahle7491
      @ahlemahle7491 8 років тому +14

      me too hahaha

    • @CommonCent
      @CommonCent 8 років тому +10

      Jordon Emanuel So where do we send the flowers to? 💐

    • @donaldclinton9548
      @donaldclinton9548 8 років тому +3

      may 2 was my birthday

    • @D3uceMango
      @D3uceMango 8 років тому +5

      Donald Clinton me too

  • @taniathewise8
    @taniathewise8 5 років тому +2421

    "I own you til you're 18, do some jumping jacks "

    • @wisconsinlonnie4143
      @wisconsinlonnie4143 5 років тому +22

      Hilfuckinarious 😂 😂 I'm Wisconsin Lonnie and I approve this message ™

    • @imbi9580
      @imbi9580 4 роки тому +13

      Not really related but i walked 2.5 kilometres everyday to go to school. Then i graduated and went to work and gained 10kgs in a span of 10 months

    • @itpugil
      @itpugil 4 роки тому +27

      @@imbi9580 You should continue walking

  • @christianvennemann9008
    @christianvennemann9008 6 років тому +2517

    "Uhh...there was a hurricane. Uhhh...people are wet." 😂😂

    • @Blowhole6969
      @Blowhole6969 6 років тому +74

      that was basically Trumps speech...

    • @Grey_7
      @Grey_7 6 років тому +3

      X 😂😂😂

    • @El_LeChErO91
      @El_LeChErO91 4 роки тому +1

      Bruh😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 that had me going for awhile

    • @AmazinglyGayPhil
      @AmazinglyGayPhil 4 роки тому +15

      @@Blowhole6969 orange man bad.

    • @GraceMusyoka
      @GraceMusyoka 4 роки тому

      @@Grey_7 Trump

  • @Charlie_Alpha_Lima
    @Charlie_Alpha_Lima 9 років тому +2847

    This was the first time I saw Bill Burr. He has since become my favourite comedian of all time. Every single angry thing he rants about is comic gold! Bill Burr is the truth!

    • @elmSTREETnasty
      @elmSTREETnasty 9 років тому +7

      +CallMeLum So this is about 10 years old, right? Maybe a little less? Damn man I wish I knew who he was back then. I was still listening to shitty stand up around that time.

    • @elmSTREETnasty
      @elmSTREETnasty 8 років тому +6

      haart123 Hell yeah man Bill is awesome.

    • @efisgpr
      @efisgpr 8 років тому +2

      CallMeLum I HOPE you haven't heard his podcast....so u can thank me 😂😂

    • @tolkienbullet
      @tolkienbullet 6 років тому +1

      where was this at?

    • @pyetorshite7379
      @pyetorshite7379 5 років тому +2

      The phillyrant is by far one of thee best

  • @sub1469
    @sub1469 10 років тому +2116

    His confused and girl voice are so fucking funny LOL

    • @matthewprestia7647
      @matthewprestia7647 8 років тому +3

      gg 123 swing and a miss

    • @keemleex5189
      @keemleex5189 7 років тому +11

      Kind of sounds like Stewart from Madtv! the "Look what I can do" guy! lol

    • @jakoda2514
      @jakoda2514 7 років тому

      Are you related to Joe Swanson?

    • @mrkdemeritt
      @mrkdemeritt 3 роки тому

      His girl voice which I've heard his wife Nina reply how it is not correct, is like he's trying to be a gay man y'all rememberPaul Lynde from celebrity whatever or the Hollywood squares?

    • @mrkdemeritt
      @mrkdemeritt 3 роки тому +1

      @Daniel Frederikson exactly, bill is really funny of a lot of things but the one thing might not the one thing but the specific thing that I think is chickenshit is the whole talking about obese people. Oh I imagine being overweight is just such a f****** pleasure, and we're really sorry that little Billy boy has to fix his eyes on someone who is heavier than he is. He's done a lot of really great stuff but that is complete chickenshit

  • @Szaam
    @Szaam 8 років тому +8021

    "Stop feeding him. He doesn't have any money."

    • @teejay3698
      @teejay3698 6 років тому +20

      Szaam 😂

    • @benciccarelli9870
      @benciccarelli9870 6 років тому +127

      Yeah he did say that in the video, you’re right.

    • @ramo5442
      @ramo5442 6 років тому +71

      holy fuck, that's what he said!

    • @1afterthep
      @1afterthep 5 років тому +140

      He is absolutely right, letting your kid get fat is really child abuse. I'm a kindergarten teacher and I am truly horrified about what I see in some of the kids' lunch boxes. Be parents what the fuck!

    • @madbear3512
      @madbear3512 5 років тому +19

      @@1afterthep
      God be with you

  • @geanniechecks8084
    @geanniechecks8084 5 років тому +268

    "You're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again.." 😂😂

  • @theenergyalchemist6206
    @theenergyalchemist6206 8 років тому +3334

    I love Bill Burr! Just his voice alone is hilarious!😀

    • @tonybparalegal
      @tonybparalegal 8 років тому +39

      Yes, he uses his voice really well. He said watching George Carlin made him pay more attention to that. But, his voice is more interesting than Carlin's.

    • @theenergyalchemist6206
      @theenergyalchemist6206 8 років тому +24

      Have you seen the animated series on netflix were Bill Burr does the voice for the dad? Its called F is for family. Its soo funny!

    • @tyuirtyyu9035
      @tyuirtyyu9035 8 років тому

      H

    • @kubel83
      @kubel83 8 років тому +4

      Nari Freeman okay i know this is old but, yeah i think he is great too. His voice, the way he moves on stage. It is really hard for me to watch another comedian after seen Bill Burr. He just sets a standard that no one can keep up with.. Hell he is the best comedian i have ever seen.

    • @theenergyalchemist6206
      @theenergyalchemist6206 8 років тому +1

      kubel83 Yea, he's great. Have you seen the shoe F is for family on netflix? He does the voice for the dad. Its really funny too!

  • @H8er-Maker
    @H8er-Maker 5 років тому +472

    "Stop feeding him, he doesn't have any money" simple truth. Yet comical

  • @GNerdful
    @GNerdful 5 років тому +1357

    As a former fat kid I agree. I wish my parents were more into making me eat healthy when I was younger. It's easier to break bad habits when you're 5 than twenty years later

    • @standupstraight9691
      @standupstraight9691 3 роки тому +51

      When I was about 12-13 I was fat. I ate strawberry jam and cream sandwiches after school, and who knows what else. I would in no way allow my kid to do that.

    • @somegirl558
      @somegirl558 2 роки тому +2

      Yeah but.. You have the right being as happy as as you are happy thin... It's your life, f. them.

    • @flyingdutchdan
      @flyingdutchdan 2 роки тому +1

      @@somegirl558 yes definitely. But being fat should not be normalized or promoted. Since obesity causes physical problems and has therefore directly an influence on your mental health as well. What you say is the typical 2022 thing to say… probably youre fat yourself and too lazy to put in the effort

    • @Tnargav
      @Tnargav 2 роки тому +45

      @@somegirl558 Not when it eventually becomes a burden to your family and others.

    • @mattblah7737
      @mattblah7737 2 роки тому +2

      Damn near impossible as an adult. Most parents really just don't care all that much

  • @D.Antony
    @D.Antony 4 роки тому +193

    Bill is one of the best comedians ever. He's relentless. Every second of every minute of every show is a hit. There's no down time.

  • @orochikaiba
    @orochikaiba 6 років тому +327

    "I told him he couldn't have a cupcake and he just sat on my chest"😂😂😂😂

    • @kingayy9267
      @kingayy9267 4 місяці тому

      "JC, they're *everywhere!*
      They're like locusts!"
      This dude is friggin hilarious.

  • @musicsdarkangel
    @musicsdarkangel 10 років тому +8565

    Bill Burr is just incredibly good. And it's not even an act… it's just who he is. There isn't an audience who wouldn't enjoy this guy. Other than feminists :D

    • @thefiremensch
      @thefiremensch 9 років тому +163

      yeahhh I was gonna say, feminists hate him!

    • @MeishaAthma
      @MeishaAthma 9 років тому +208

      bledredwine ... and obese kids ;-)

    • @lowridersethman
      @lowridersethman 9 років тому +127

      Oh well let the feminists hate. Do you know anybody that likes feminists? I sure as sh*t don't! Maybe the feminists and fat kids can team up so then they can have somebody else that likes them besides themselves! :-P

    • @TheBlackJacksItalia
      @TheBlackJacksItalia 9 років тому +68

      ***** being hated by feminists is nothing but a badge of honor..

    • @lowridersethman
      @lowridersethman 9 років тому +18

      ***** Just wanted to give a shout to you, and say good for you for not discarding your ability to see the humor in things in spite of any terrible past ordeals you've experienced! I know it's hard to not let these things define you.
      Hope you stay true to yourself and never lose that laughter!

  • @Elgar337
    @Elgar337 10 років тому +283

    That lady is dying of laughter, LOL!

  • @JeffersonDinedAlone
    @JeffersonDinedAlone 10 років тому +382

    Burr has been around for over 20 years; it can take a while to become established.

    • @htxflow
      @htxflow 8 років тому +29

      Exactly. Same with my other favorite comedian Corey Holcomb. These guys been doing comedy since mid 20's but didn't get fully established til their late 30's.../early 40's. It's refreshing to know all their hard work finally paid off

    • @ottogofast3882
      @ottogofast3882 5 років тому +4

      That’s usually how it goes for most comedians unfortunately

    • @TheSlammurai
      @TheSlammurai 5 років тому +3

      Cause Bill is a stubborn fuck and we all love him for it.

  • @marcus00077
    @marcus00077 4 роки тому +50

    Man, no one else makes me laugh as hard as Bill Burr does. His humor is so smart and to the point.

  • @ThePhunkyPharaoh
    @ThePhunkyPharaoh 8 років тому +305

    I love this guy. He just speaks his mind and it's fucking hilarious.

  • @sunairjet
    @sunairjet 10 років тому +859

    I think Bill Burr had one of those real fathers. You know those that are not on reality shows "my kids is out of control. What can I do". Nah, his father just told Bill Burr what to do. Like a parent.

    • @bartborganelli7301
      @bartborganelli7301 5 років тому +61

      Yeah, just like the rest of us growing up in the 60's and 70's... The majority of us had fathers and I never heard, "Now, I'm going to count to three... or, If I have to tell you again..." HELL NO! We were told ONCE and after that FREE FLYING LESSONS! Were we abused? Most of us not, some yes. But we certainly respected them and there was nothing wrong with fear being a motivator!! The only greater emotion was that the love and provision the fathers also showed us. Period, the end.

    • @lawlicht8092
      @lawlicht8092 5 років тому +23

      Nowaday most parents send their kids to a corner for a "timeout" as punishment.
      WHAT THE FUCK IS A TIMEOUT?

    • @WiseYetti
      @WiseYetti 5 років тому +17

      @@lawlicht8092 I'd take a smack over a timeout anyday.
      Timeout is legit torture unless meditating

    • @ribby9069
      @ribby9069 5 років тому +11

      Bart Borganelli counting to three worked a treat on me and my siblings. Once a bystander was so concerned by our reaction to it she asked my mum what happened when she got to three. She replied she didn’t know, it had never happened.

    • @JimBob-ky8sm
      @JimBob-ky8sm 5 років тому +11

      If you want to see what bills dad was like just watch F is for family.

  • @MindfulAttraction2.0
    @MindfulAttraction2.0 5 років тому +2179

    He’s invited to the cookout

    • @Giga_Ninja
      @Giga_Ninja 4 роки тому +8

      I second that.

    • @geezushasrisen
      @geezushasrisen 4 роки тому +38

      No he’s not. I love Bill, but stop inviting white people to the “barbecue” because their funny/normal, decent people.

    • @manwithopinions12
      @manwithopinions12 4 роки тому +149

      @@geezushasrisen so what should people invite them for?

    • @Nyxiro
      @Nyxiro 4 роки тому +52

      @@manwithopinions12 they can’t be normal apparently so I guess we gotta invite the non funny normal people

    • @manwithopinions12
      @manwithopinions12 4 роки тому +10

      @@Nyxiro and apparently indecent as well

  • @MotleyStew
    @MotleyStew 6 років тому +32

    “...until I can pick you up again.”
    HAH! Killed me!!

  • @christinemarie4486
    @christinemarie4486 9 років тому +20

    I'm a 35 year old married woman and I don't care who you are, I don't want to share oxygen with anyone (feminist or not) that doesn't think this dude is hilarious. He is a brilliant naturally funny guy!

  • @keithlauderjr1691
    @keithlauderjr1691 5 років тому +6

    The wit of Carlin and delivery of Dice. One of the best. ❤

  • @beerich2872
    @beerich2872 5 років тому +13

    I had no idea this guy was this hilarious ,I think his tone of voice and his honesty plays a big factor for me liking him..Lol I want more .

  • @DanFoolio
    @DanFoolio 6 років тому +21

    "He sat on my chest" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

  • @PaulSchober
    @PaulSchober 9 років тому +491

    This reminds me of a Simpsons bit about obesity in one of Lisa's school films on genetics. The moderator is talking about how "fat children naturally come from fat parents", and they show a fat little kid, then the camera zooms out a bit to show the parents are also fat, but all 3 are scarfing down pizza.

    • @kakarot1192
      @kakarot1192 9 років тому +6

      oh yeah I remember that

    • @fatboitino2
      @fatboitino2 5 років тому +1

      Hahah

    • @BamaShinesDistillery
      @BamaShinesDistillery 5 років тому +26

      Hell its true. My wifes niece came over this past week....she has gotten soooo fat and shes like 10. But its no coincedence that her mamma is big enough to make a cow jealous. Its all her fault. Of course I made my thoughts known and get called an asshole, but hey.....theyve called me that before.

    • @Dave_ja_vu
      @Dave_ja_vu 5 років тому +10

      Fat kids come from lazy shitty parents. Either it's because the parents are fat lazy fucks and they picked up the habits and the poor diet, or they are useless parents letting screens raise their kids and feeding them trash.

    • @Dave_ja_vu
      @Dave_ja_vu 5 років тому +6

      And when you couple that with a nation where they eat commercially processed food on average 4-5 times a week, it's gonna lead to disaster.

  • @wingman-1977
    @wingman-1977 6 років тому +28

    You know you’re good when you have the brothas rolling.

  • @GP-ci8qt
    @GP-ci8qt 4 роки тому +129

    Burr: "Could Bush rehearse before he gives a speech?"
    Me, in 2020: Yikes....

    • @44BlueFoxes
      @44BlueFoxes 4 роки тому +4

      I was just thinking the same thing. Could at least write some crib notes on the underside of that fake hair to glance at occasionally before he goes off spouting about walls.

    • @NathielIsaac
      @NathielIsaac 3 роки тому +9

      @@44BlueFoxes Sheesh man y’all just hate the dude... Salt.

    • @44BlueFoxes
      @44BlueFoxes 3 роки тому +9

      @@NathielIsaacI don't hate anyone. But whenever Trump does a press conference he sounds like a seven year old giving a report on a book he didn't read. He makes Bush's speeches sound eloquent.

    • @AC-iz7eh
      @AC-iz7eh 3 роки тому +7

      What I thought Trump was pretty good at giving speeches he even had those Marvel quips thrown in during debates with other people. Those one liners are instant memes

    • @mr.doctorcaptain1124
      @mr.doctorcaptain1124 3 роки тому +9

      @@44BlueFoxes and now we have a president who has full blown dementia

  • @lougehrigsdisease7945
    @lougehrigsdisease7945 Рік тому +4

    "Good, go to bed" is the family I grew up with.

  • @bang5146
    @bang5146 4 роки тому +14

    I can see how Patrice love him. Bill Burr carries Patrice spirit for us.

  • @waynefarrellvoiceovers
    @waynefarrellvoiceovers 5 років тому +68

    “I’ll let your eyes adjust...”
    Genius!

  • @jameslisle7775
    @jameslisle7775 6 років тому +11

    Even his mannerisms are hilarious! Incredibly talented!

  • @mad-official
    @mad-official 2 роки тому +3

    1:08 Can you imagine being a comedian and getting a reaction like that out of somebody. That's gotta feel amazing.

  • @Bangtanlicious-ev3sn
    @Bangtanlicious-ev3sn 6 років тому +11

    2:37 I love when he does that voice

  • @dianegoncalves9471
    @dianegoncalves9471 6 років тому +18

    Billy killing it for decades best comic ever!

  • @theresawilliams4296
    @theresawilliams4296 2 роки тому +17

    He sat on my chest and I couldn't breathe. He got a hernia for his birthday.
    Those two lines right there, just cracked me up.
    A true comedian genius.

  • @johndoe-bw6pj
    @johndoe-bw6pj 5 років тому +6

    Love the voices he makes....What a legend....One of the best out there....

  • @randalltrantham5082
    @randalltrantham5082 5 років тому +16

    so awesome to see everyone laughing at this guy, comedy can really transcend social and racial communities

  • @maxbowie6074
    @maxbowie6074 2 роки тому +5

    I must confess I'm very late to the party with this guy, but what a talent. My god he's funny

  • @tribecop
    @tribecop 3 роки тому +7

    Obese kids were a rarity when I was a kid in the 60's.
    We ate home cooked meals, played sports and rode our bikes everywhere.

  • @JasonandaCamera
    @JasonandaCamera 7 років тому +549

    That book sounds interesting. Gonna find it on amazon

    • @metalman552
      @metalman552 6 років тому +6

      Go to a bookstore!

    • @henrygalvan9333
      @henrygalvan9333 6 років тому

      Lol maybe SK - cujo

    • @chrisp2481
      @chrisp2481 6 років тому +1

      its the Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night.
      excellent read

    • @Rogersensei93
      @Rogersensei93 6 років тому

      Metalman do bookstores deliver to your door

  • @efisgpr
    @efisgpr 8 років тому +39

    1:38 WOW she is SO CUTE

  • @Ironborn4
    @Ironborn4 4 роки тому +54

    This was when Bill just started dating a black girl isn't it? He's looking like 90's RnB producer

  • @vladtepes9614
    @vladtepes9614 5 років тому +1

    "No, you little shit. You're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again". lololololol!!!!

  • @Tee-OhBee
    @Tee-OhBee 9 років тому +985

    "Shaq's Five Minute Funnies" clip is under 4 mins

    • @RockDavid
      @RockDavid 9 років тому +9

      +Tee OB and if it was 5:01 you would sit here and complain with your entitlement big talk right? h aha move on

    • @Tee-OhBee
      @Tee-OhBee 9 років тому +57

      David R entitlement big talk? It's a comment I made in good fun get your panties out of a bunch.

    • @RockDavid
      @RockDavid 9 років тому +2

      Tee OB ha ha, you seem to lack the brain and missed the comment, seems Bill burr is over your head
      sugggest you move on

    • @Tee-OhBee
      @Tee-OhBee 9 років тому +28

      David R please explain

    • @Tee-OhBee
      @Tee-OhBee 8 років тому +15

      David R still waiting on that explanation

  • @LTeagles16
    @LTeagles16 2 роки тому +1

    "They are like locusts" Fxck me blind! That was hilarious....

  • @no-oneman.4140
    @no-oneman.4140 5 років тому +3

    From across the pond - this guy is sheer brilliance.

  • @namarie.2289
    @namarie.2289 5 років тому +6

    *Your eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again*
    That part killed me like a 4 year old having a heart attack.

  • @Miltongoldst4R
    @Miltongoldst4R 4 роки тому +9

    They don't make comedians like Bill anymore, we have to enjoy it while he's here.

  • @dirtybaystrangler
    @dirtybaystrangler 6 років тому +78

    The girl at 1:41 is gorgeous!

    • @sunofpeter2
      @sunofpeter2 4 роки тому

      hahaha Dude i serched for this comment! Some fat kid joke was going on, i was laughing then boom , i am like Dayum! no my life is less complete knowing she is out there. jk she is gorgeous though

    • @sunofpeter2
      @sunofpeter2 4 роки тому

      actually the crowd is full of hotties!

    • @gregtechno506
      @gregtechno506 4 роки тому

      2:53 nice view

    • @bs-py7ru
      @bs-py7ru 4 роки тому

      Burr: "Could Bush rehearse before he gives a speech?"
      Me, in 2020: Yikes....

  • @m_winewood
    @m_winewood 6 років тому +50

    Damn ol girl at 1:40 cute af.

  • @vitocorleone1462
    @vitocorleone1462 6 років тому +6

    "I'll just let your eyes adjust"😂😂😂

  • @patrickbang3037
    @patrickbang3037 4 роки тому +3

    i laughed even harder when they cut to the lady OBVIOUSLY mouthing "oh my god" she made it so much funnier lmao

  • @sstaners1234
    @sstaners1234 9 місяців тому +1

    “You’re eating carrots and salad until I can pick you up again.” 🤣

  • @JD-go2qj
    @JD-go2qj 4 роки тому +3

    I like him lmao. A four yr old getting a heart attack. That shit had me rolling 😂😂

  • @christophert8419
    @christophert8419 4 роки тому +22

    The impression of every “Karen” tryna set their kids straight was spot on

  • @aqua-mina
    @aqua-mina 7 років тому +5

    he actually makes me laugh out loud, havent done that in a while. Been watching all his youtube clips with him in it. Bill Burr, you've got a new fan!

  • @oRuTRa45
    @oRuTRa45 11 років тому +31

    @2:12 Isn't that Ronnie DeVoe from New Edition/Bell Biv DeVoe?

    • @0Y0L
      @0Y0L 5 років тому +1

      I really thinks its him

    • @chimchimchow
      @chimchimchow 2 місяці тому

      Yessir

  • @turdusmerula_
    @turdusmerula_ Рік тому +1

    Bill is just amazing

  • @mystomachhurt9312
    @mystomachhurt9312 4 роки тому +17

    Man I can't wait until he have children. His children's life will be a goddamn comedy to anyone but themselves XD.

    • @sondersonics7534
      @sondersonics7534 4 роки тому +1

      @Mystomachhurt He has a daughter that’s like 3 years old

    • @mystomachhurt9312
      @mystomachhurt9312 4 роки тому

      @@sondersonics7534 yea i just figured t out when I start hearing his podcast a week ago :)

  • @headhunter7070
    @headhunter7070 2 роки тому +4

    The silence when he first said "its the parents fault", tells you all you need to know.

  • @Sofoluwe
    @Sofoluwe 8 років тому +18

    This guy makes me laugh so hard.

  • @mechengineer4894
    @mechengineer4894 2 роки тому +2

    Chappelle and this guy are the best. You need to hear Bill's construction story when he was on Joe Rogan's show. Never seen Joe laugh that hard before.

  • @unlaikable
    @unlaikable 4 роки тому +3

    1:31 "I ha.. I had.." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @bernardking13
    @bernardking13 4 роки тому +1

    A freash new Bill Burr Skit i havent seen. Died when he did the "Im 4 got my first heart attack" hahahaha

  • @bonesaredollars1172
    @bonesaredollars1172 8 років тому +250

    Was this the show he met his wife at?

  • @MrCarter4121
    @MrCarter4121 5 років тому +2

    When Bill Burr goes full Jim Gaffigan! Love it

  • @LiogCeartas
    @LiogCeartas 7 років тому +127

    Bill Burr definitely holds a Black Card. He's one of us.

    • @nuberiffic
      @nuberiffic 6 років тому +34

      That is the most weirdly racist comment I have ever read

    • @itswaaaay2ez
      @itswaaaay2ez 6 років тому +18

      Nope. He's a so-called white man who can make anyone laugh.
      And just because his wife is black (fine as hell too) doesn't mean he's one of us.
      He's just funny . . . stop claiming these "white" folks.

    • @nuberiffic
      @nuberiffic 6 років тому +8

      @@detectivejimmymcnulty1676 No.
      It's a racist comment that I found really weird.
      What part of that do you not understand?

    • @detectivejimmymcnulty1676
      @detectivejimmymcnulty1676 6 років тому +3

      nuberiffic why is it racist Mr Hypersensitive?

    • @nuberiffic
      @nuberiffic 6 років тому +12

      @@detectivejimmymcnulty1676 because race is the only topic in the comment Captain Can't Read

  • @kno6ndg7
    @kno6ndg7 Рік тому

    2:53 that woman has her flashback and almost died from it and laughing simultaneously.

  • @NikhilThokal
    @NikhilThokal 4 роки тому +39

    "This is a tough hurricane. One of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water" - Trump, 2018

    • @davidcraig7771
      @davidcraig7771 4 роки тому +3

      Trump 2020

    • @jakebenjamin6409
      @jakebenjamin6409 4 роки тому +2

      “This is a tough fire, one of the hottest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of heat”
      - me, 2020

    • @rond5936
      @rond5936 3 роки тому

      😂😂😂😂

  • @3JJ3
    @3JJ3 2 роки тому +2

    look at that magnificent hair, surely he will cherish it forever and never lose it.

  • @j-dub8399
    @j-dub8399 Рік тому +7

    Here’s what I did:
    My daughter wouldn’t eat her dinner. I wrapped it up and stashed it in the fridge which then became next morning’s breakfast. That happened twice and that’s it. Easiest kid to feed forever after that and now she’s almost an adult and reflects VERY positively on that experience. Seriously! She’s not scarred or abused or anything. I did her, me, the world a favor. Be a parent not a friend.

    • @FreshLexo
      @FreshLexo Рік тому +1

      Fascinating. Bill has a similar joke where his mom did that to his brother.

  • @TheProdigalCat
    @TheProdigalCat 5 років тому +1

    "No you little shit, you're eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again." LMAO

  • @1969ryson
    @1969ryson 9 років тому +500

    That women at 1:40 is very good looking!

    • @mojostevo
      @mojostevo 9 років тому +47

      Dude, she was amazing!

    • @Timboslice475
      @Timboslice475 9 років тому +10

      Hell yes!

    • @mshake
      @mshake 9 років тому +18

      Chris J I find myself in agreement with you.

    • @lowridersethman
      @lowridersethman 9 років тому +24

      She's definitely not a fat feminist! ;-)

    • @gabriel.hongkong
      @gabriel.hongkong 9 років тому +36

      Chris J she's a 8/10. but because of those luscious lips i'm gonna give her a 9.5/10

  • @danross4377
    @danross4377 2 роки тому

    "...he sat on my chest...😩"
    @2:51
    🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @FlipStar26
    @FlipStar26 6 років тому +5

    It's the parent's fault "STOP FEEDIN' EM! HE DOESNT HAVE ANY MONEY!" ...IM DONE! LOL!!!

  • @cypher787
    @cypher787 6 років тому +1

    "STOP FEEDIN HIM! HE DOESNT HAVE ANY MONEY" amazing

  • @AmerginMacEccit
    @AmerginMacEccit 9 років тому +22

    My parents, as much as I love them, and many others, just can't get a grasp how to teach kids good nutrition habits.

    • @htxflow
      @htxflow 8 років тому +1

      Same with my parents

    • @urgfswallows
      @urgfswallows 8 років тому +5

      I firmly believe that with anything in life, moderation is key. You drink too much, guess what, you're probably an alcoholic who's at risk of ruining your life. Eat too much, you'll eventually be an over-weight slob who's health will be at risk. Smoke too much, you'll probably get cancer and possibly die. Its the same with everything else.....the key is moderation. I can still go to McDonald's and eat there, just not everyday. Maybe once every other week and still live a healthy active life. I (nor anyone else for that matter) doesn't need to become a vegetarian in order to improve your health.

  • @danielderese3170
    @danielderese3170 4 роки тому +1

    "you are going to eat carrot until I can pick you up again".GOLD

  • @luvskatie
    @luvskatie 7 років тому +4

    "Was this too quick a transition" fucking dead!!

  • @Zebra66
    @Zebra66 Рік тому +1

    Bill Burr is one of the few comedians that made more than one funny special.

  • @N0V3MBER
    @N0V3MBER 5 років тому +6

    1:40 ❤ What a beautiful lady!

  • @joshgallemore3593
    @joshgallemore3593 5 років тому +2

    Bill Burr easily one of my fav comedians of all time

  • @screwthenet
    @screwthenet 5 років тому +5

    damn was this from 15 years back? The dude has been at it fer YEARS! O>o Still gold.

  • @paulfoster7881
    @paulfoster7881 4 роки тому +1

    "Jesus Christ they're everywhere! They're like locusts!".....killed me hahaha!!

  • @KingOfKingz819
    @KingOfKingz819 8 років тому +4

    I made the mistake of watching this while eating and I almost choked from laughing at this shit lol

  • @Nuttyirishman85
    @Nuttyirishman85 2 роки тому +1

    “I don’t want to eat it, go to bed.” That was my pops catch phrase. “Kitchens closed” if you weren’t home for dinner.

  • @juanitamartin3082
    @juanitamartin3082 6 років тому +11

    His comedy is great, and he's the ONLY white dude I know who crossed 125th street AT NIGHT to date a Black woman. Gotta love his courage, lol

  • @johanandersson2391
    @johanandersson2391 2 роки тому

    So fkn funny and so much truth here it's ridiculous.
    Bill Burr is truly one of the best.

  • @u.s.paratroops4633
    @u.s.paratroops4633 4 роки тому +3

    "My little brother didn't like what we were having for breakfast...My Dad threw a glass of milk in his face"

  • @albertalbert7958
    @albertalbert7958 5 років тому +2

    He is making fun of Parents over feeding their 5 years old kids with cupcakes. He is not making fun of the obese kids, he is advocating for them. That's why Bill is the best.

  • @undergroundxv
    @undergroundxv 4 роки тому +15

    If you’ve never got offended by Bill Burr you’re a normal person

  • @aidangriffiths5075
    @aidangriffiths5075 Рік тому +2

    Carrots and salads until i can pick you up again 😂

  • @kristasparks33
    @kristasparks33 3 роки тому +5

    He is totally right being overweight isn't healthy at all no matter what age

  • @Rj-ij6ko
    @Rj-ij6ko 2 роки тому

    “uh…there was a hurricane and uh…people are wet”
    😂😂😂😂

  • @maxmeadows9218
    @maxmeadows9218 5 років тому +3

    Bill Burr is a goddamn national treasure!

  • @anti-victimGenX
    @anti-victimGenX 2 роки тому +1

    Lol at Bush needing to rehearse... BTW, who's holding Biden's beer?? 😂😂

  • @wontondestructxn
    @wontondestructxn 10 років тому +11

    2:13 is that Ronnie Devoe?

  • @NightHawkLocket
    @NightHawkLocket 5 років тому

    “No you little shit you’re eating carrots and celery until I can pick you up again.” XD

  • @wadesharp11
    @wadesharp11 6 років тому +3

    Haha ive never heard this guy hes farking great!!!! Fresh stuff i laughed out loud a lot AWESOME