Opening up a bit to share some of my struggle lately. I hope this helps anyone who is going through the same thing! I know this video is pretty long, but I felt like everything was really important to say. We're all in it together. ❤️Thank you for watching!
Olivia Zapo this came and the perfect time for me. Thank you so so much for sharing this. You have really helped me face this and helped me feel like I’m not alone. UA-cam can make everything seem so perfect and beautiful and you are just so real and authentic and I really appreciate it ❤️❤️ so much love to you!
luving yur videos but this 1 jus hit me!! and so love how u r concern about others that r goin through the same problem as u... it goes to show how ur beautiful inside as well :* we all should be here to support u 2, much luv.
From the bottom of my heart I just want to say thank you for this. PPD has been hitting really hard and I was feeling that my baby would be better without me. I decided today to see what other women go through and your video was the first I clicked on and now I feel more positive and tomorrow will be better. Thank you for your bravery. God bless you.
I’m speechless. This is 100% what every new mom needs to hear so we all know we’re not alone. I wish I could “like” this video over and over again! So much love for you and your videos! ❤️
7 weeks postpartum and this is really hitting home. I've struggled with it my whole life, but now even when I should be so happy, it's hard. Oh my gosh, when you started talking about pumping and how the husband doesn't have to go through anything, that hit me so hard. Like someone finally said it.
Exactly. I tried to explain that to my family and they thought I was talking behind my husbands' back. They could not understand that I was not angry AT him, but at the way things were. It is so hard. As a mom, our lives change completely when we have that little one... good and bad. Physically, mentally, and our time is not our own. But our husbands don't have that. Yes, things change for them as well, but not in the same way. I just had my 6th baby and for the first time I am able to recognize the depression.
I just had my third son and this is the first time I am experiencing some baby blues. I will say I wish I educated myself on this before hand because it has been scary. I never felt so sad in my life the way I was feeling. Stay strong and never feel judged. I think what helps me was my husband was so there for me and he accepted my feelings and made me feel validated all the time. He made me not feel crazy and he always told me it’s ok.
Just a quick note on all the guilt you expressed about other's struggles. Someone else's struggle does not diminish yours. It's just different and it's just as valid. Try to let that go. Depression sucks enough without taking on the problems of others you can't control. Hugs. You're very brave for sharing your story. Thank you
Say that to my husband. He thinks and says that I have it easy. And he expects me to do absolutely everything around the home. Pretty much all he does is work and bring home a pay check.
@@AdrianaGonzalez-ty6ws leave the baby with him on the weekend. Just wake up and leave the house, if your breastfeeding get a pump. Leave him to look after the baby for a whole day then see what the prick says
I am 31 weeks and am nervous about PPD because I have dealt with depression for a large part of my life I and have not seen many videos on PPD even though coworkers have said they have seen their wives go through it or have gone through it themselves. I am so glad that you posted this video. There is such a stigma on depression and ppd and its good to know and hear that it is ok. Thank you so much for being so brave and sharing your story. Means a lot to those of us who may deal with the same thing.
Just because you’re complaining doesn’t mean you don’t want him or love him. I’m 33 weeks and hate being pregnant. At first I felt so bad for complaining because I kept telling myself that so many people can’t have children and I should feel so lucky to be able to even get pregnant. But since speaking to my ob, I’ve been told I might have antenatal depression. But that DOES NOT mean we don’t want or don’t love our children. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sending you lots of love!
Thank you for this. My son is a month old and I battled these feelings until recently. I felt like an absolute failure and utterly alone. I didn't want to take care of my son and began to resent everything. I thought I was going absolutely crazy. I had no motivation to do ANYTHING. I opened up about it to an in-law and got such a judgmental response and it hurt me deeply. My mom (who flew in from across the country), my husband, and my friends swooped in to support me. I thank God for them. Even in all my unreasonable emotional turmoil, they took care of my son and prayed with me every day until I came out of it. I wish someone was honest like this with me. To tell me that I am not alone in my feelings and that it's ok to feel VERY down (not just the "blues"). Thank you for your bravery in making this video. You are making a huge impact with your story.
Awww babe! I’m so sorry that you went to seek comfort from that family member, and didn’t get a positive response from them. I bet that was devastating. I pray that you’re doing better now and I hope that your beautiful baby boy is growing healthy and strong. And just know that if there are days where you feel unmotivated, drained, sluggish, and sad-that’s completely normal. Just know that you’re doing the best that you can. Your son is going to grow up loving you tremendously, and won’t hate you for dealing with PPD after his birth. (I’ve heard that can be a common fear that mom’s have.) If you do notice that the depression is starting to remain consistent and creep up again, definitely reach out to your husband, your doctor, a friend, a therapist, etc. Make time for yourself. Be gentle with your heart and your thoughts and always know that you are a fantastic mother, even during the overwhelming moments. Sending lots of love and light your way! ✨
@@sabrina.natalie Thank you for taking the time out of your day to write this to me! What a sweet and uplifting message to read at work while I am pumping :). My son is a thriving 6 month old now, and I am over the moon in love with him. Some days are very hard of course, so thank you for the reminder that feeling overwhelmed is still normal. Definitely giving myself more grace these days and assurance that I am doing my best. ❤️
You’re more than welcome my dear! I’m elated to hear that things are gradually getting better. May your spirit continue to feel at ease and I pray that God continues to bless you and your family abundantly.
Olivia, thank you so much for this. It’s funny because I had my baby around the same time as you had Christian & I’ve been watching your videos and totally thinking “wow she has it all together why am I not that way”? Turns out you have been struggling the same way as me. I appreciate your honesty so much. Newborn life is SUCH an adjustment. & YES the mom guilt. The “at least you have a baby” thought is awful. It’s so hard. You’re an amazing mama 💕 thank you.
Thank you for sharing. I'm having a hard time finding videos like this that make me feel less alone. My recovery has been terrible and contributed to my mental health deteriorating. I feel very sad sometimes but most often just numb and I don't want to talk about it with anyone. Hearing others stories is helpful.
Thank you so much for sharing! ❤️ I am five weeks postpartum and just started noticing that I am suffering from PPD and debated on making a video on my channel about this. Thank you for giving me the courage to just go for it and post my video.
I, too, have tried making a video about this. It is not easy. My baby is 2 months old. I am experiencing ppd yet again, but am thankful to recognize it earlier this time. It feels so similar to what you said. I don't always have such feelings of despair, they hit suddenly. And talking about it, even just to a camera, really does help.
Thank you so much for opening up. I suffer from depression and am pregnant with my first. So even my pregnancy has it's up and down days. It's really comforting to hear someone open up about depression and see how amazing they still are as a parent.
Thank you for this! 6 weeks postpartum and I can relate so much. Thanks for breaking the social media bubble of perfection and being real. Love you videos, so relatable.
Hi Olivia~ I started watching your channel when I was 5/6 months pregnant ( I bought everything in your postpartum video) and I recently just gave birth( my first baby as well!) and right after that I literally spiraled down into postpartum depression severely for the first few days. Im actually so surprised you had this experience as well!!! I bawled my eyes out the first week after the birth and felt so guilty for everything, for not bonding, for not being able to hold the baby because of my epistemology stitches and pains. I literally was unable to walk, sit, lie and I just cried and cried. Im so happy you made this video because I also freaked out and started googling other people who had ppd or suffered ppd and it was only after reading what other mums were going through did I feel better... As for the husband thing, I also couldnt help but feel like it was unfair that men dont have to go through these huge hormonal and bodily changes. My husband and son were able to “bond” while I looked at them from afar....!!! I had a very traumatic birth experience and right after the baby was born my husband was able to hold, feed, change and cuddle the baby, whereas I was completely bed ridden unable to go even to the bathroom. I cried for many days, and am still recovering...!!! So thank you for your video and for sharing because like you said...!! You making this video does and will help so many other new mummies out there!! So much love to you! Xoxoxo
please don't stop making videos! I'm only 10 weeks now but I'm 19 years old and your mom series has helped me sooo much, opposed to all the other mom videos out there. thank you so much, Olivia!
Thank you so much for posting this!! I gave birth to my son in July and I have postpartum depression! It’s very hard being a stay home mom for me because of it. I started a UA-cam channel to help with my depression and it has been working, which is great! I love how you explain the depression, that’s exactly how I feel!! You give me the courage to feel okay today 👍🏼
oh honey i had to stop the video to write this. im currently pregnant with my first baby, and i just want to say THANK YOU for being open and honest to the world about REAL life! im also prone to anxiety and depression and have struggled with it since childhood. i have ben so scared that i would get depression when baby is born, but the thing is i feel like when other people go thorugh it and talk about it openly like you are doing now actually really really helps! having depression does not make anyone a worse mother in any way. i truly feel like we need to be allowed to have these emotions and talk about them so we can get the love and support we need. im rambleing now iknow, i just really wanted to say thank you and also woud love to give you a HUGE hug!!!!
Thank you for this video. I been thinking for about 2 months that I could be dealing with postpartum depression. Watching your video made me glad that I just made a doctor's appointment. All the symptoms you talked about I've been experiencing. I went through it before with my first daughter and I went to therapy and was prescribed some meds. What I think really helped was talking to someone who wasn't judgemental. Being a parent is not easy, especially when you don't have much support. Blessing's to you and yours.
I truly appreciate you. I’m pregnant now with my first and I appreciate the realness. I’m sick of people acting like everything is perfect. Women need people like you who are willing to put your truth out there whether life is great or sad. You are an inspiration. Please know that I think you are absolutely stunning your beautiful in and out. Thank you 🙏🏼
This 🙌 I relate almost to a “T” of what you talked about in here. Even the part about living far away from all family(I live in a different state from all family). I’ve watched a ton of your videos, but never saw this one! I even saw your videos about your second little baby, Arlo, too! I just had my first baby on 6/26/20. I am close to 4 weeks PP and I’ve been experiencing almost all of what you said. Every day is different and I feel like I’m somewhat getting better. I realized that I’m just so used to having my own freedom that having a baby(which i love my baby, just like you) Makes the “freedom” disappear suddenly. It’s almost like a shock. Even though your happy to have your baby, it doesn’t make it easy. I just want you to know how very much this impacted me. It almost validated me. Your whole purpose of making this video was met, dear friend. I do have a question! So this video was made in 2018 after you had Christian. Now fast forward to now, where you have Christian and Arlo. Did you have PP with Arlo? Or do you feel that it was easier the second time around?? Super curious!
Watching this video was like looking in a mirror. I felt like you were talking about me. I love my daughter more than I thought possible but I have felt the fear, frustration, sadness, and guilt. My husband is so supportive and a great dad but I sometimes resent his freedom. Thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable. It’s great to know I’m not alone and not crazy.
I will save this video and watch it after I have my second baby, I constantly need a reminder like this one, that it’s ok to be depressed sometimes and that I’m not alone and we are built to have this life with all of it’s ups and downs! God doesn’t give us hardships that we are not capable of dealing with!🙌🏼 Thank you so much for doing this video, it will help to so many people out there!🙏🏼🤍
Never had a baby, and had a hysterectomy 2 years ago. But I've dealt with depression since I was 3 years old and I'm 39 now. Thank you for sharing your story and trying to create a conversation about something so important.
Thank you for sharing this. I also go through this struggle and have dealt with depression & anxiety on/off for as long as I can remember. My daughter is now 8.5 months old and completely fills my heart and as you said, I often felt guilty for having those depressing emotions when I am so beyond blessed and grateful to have her. I have been doing a lot of self-reflecting and inner healing work, which has helped tremendously, but I still have those tough and dark moments. I'm so thankful to have a wife who cares about my mental health and accepts me for who I am with no shaming ; I'm glad that your husband provides that for you as well. Living with depression and anxiety isn't always easy, but the good definitely outweighs the bad so I try to focus and be fully present in those good moments. It helps to know that I'm not alone, as I have often felt isolated in my emotions. Thanks again for sharing and being so transparent. Sending you love & positive vibes!
I can relate so much to this video! Thanks so much for opening up your heart 💓. I just gave birth two months ago and I’m fighting postpartum depression and anxiety and by watching this I feel that I’m not the only one and that I’m not alone. Much love for you!
Oh, bless your heart for sharing this. I am a few weeks away from giving birth to my third and final baby, and the possible postpartum depression is the part that scares me most. The fear has actually woken me up in the middle of the night with anxiety "attacks".
I’m super late on this video, but thank you for your transparency. I’m going to be a first time mom and these are things that cross my mind. I’m happy to see and hear that this is being talked about in a positive light and that these emotions and thoughts are valid. Thank you. Praying for healing heart and mind. 🙏🏼😊
This video makes me love you even more. I’m a new mommy of a three week old precious baby girl. I totally understand what you mean and I’m glad you made this video . I hope it get better for you. You’re a great beautiful person this is something you need to get off your chest and help other woman you’re amazing.
That part where you said you felt he was better off without you... I went through that. Holding it all in makes you feel so isolated and alone but its like when you open up to your partner its like a ray of sunshine through that dark cloud.
I wish all the people watching the new "24 hours pregnant" videos would watch this. Pregnancy and babies seems to be a status symbol or cute trend and they don't realize all the things that come along with it
I crave a baby and my husband and daughters beg me for one more but after my third I felt how much I struggled after to feel ok to feel normal. I still struggle with it my youngest is 9 and am terrified to get pregnant and not be able to care for a new born.
So I started following you because of all your maternity videos which really helped with giving motivation to dress up and change my attitude towards my pregnancy. After this video I’m a subscriber I’m in my 2nd trimester and I’ve never had anxiety/depression and this video helped me so much. So thankful for you being so real and just know you a strong mama ❤️
Thank you for making this. As someone that suffers from Bipolar 2/depression/anxiety I am absolutely terrified (yet desperately want) to be a mommy. Because of you and your courage to make this video I feel so safe and understood, even outside of motherhood. Hormones for me are my worst enemy so seeing your troubling times and how honest and candid you are gives me strength. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this. I feel like I have a voice now!
No judgment here. I was hospitalized for a week on a psych ward five days after my son was born. Post partum depression anxiety psychosis is not a joke. Thank you for sharing your story it helped me.
This is my first time watching one of your videos and I just had to subscribe. Thank you for being so open and raw ❤️ I’m currently 4 weeks postpartum and I’ve been dealing with PPD. I’ve felt like I was alone but now I know I’m not. Again thank you so much for sharing, everything you’ve said is so true!
I have not had my baby yet, but I am nervous about PPD. I just have to say I am SO glad you mentioned birth control. I was put on birth control when I was a teenager for acne and super irregular periods. I stopped taking it at 23 when I got married and we wanted to have kids. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE LITERAL WEIGHT I felt come off my shoulders when I stopped taking the pill. I had just always thought I had dark thoughts and anxiety. What makes me so angry is that I mentioned these feelings THREE times to my doctor over the 6 something years I was on this pill. I was so young when I started it was hard to tell and notice that this was not my “normal.” My random panic attacks (literally to the point I couldn’t see or breath) stopped after about week that I was off the pill. SO happy you were able to notice the changes and take the right steps. ❤️ (Side note - I definitely do not go to the same doctor anymore 🙃)
GIRL. You're not the only one who has had issues with birth control. I got off of it 3 years ago because I was having similar issues to you. I'm just grateful that both of us were able to realize it was a huge part of the problem. Also, I love your videos. I feel like we're a lot alike with our planning/ researching/anxiety/guilt and you've become a major resource for me in this preconception phase of ours. I already struggle with anxiety to the point where that's currently my biggest concern about being pregnant. You're amazing and are helping so many people. I know you've definitely helped me a lot.
💗 This is why I have loved finding your channel. It's why I loved your pregnancy and birth videos, not just because I am currently pregnant as well. You have a wonderful way of sharing real life, the nitty-gritty that others are afraid to share. We need this transparency in life, between friends, between family, between our fellow women. We need more of this. Thank you, Olivia. Please don't ever feel bad sharing the truth, you will have so many people supporting and appreciating you. You got this, momma!
So much yes to this video! I’m 34 weeks and I have been battling depressing through my pregnancy. I’m so nervous that I will have this and I honestly am trying to prepare for it. If it happens it happens and I will deal with it when it comes if it does. My husband took on a new job and now he’s gone for 3 weeks and home for 1. So that’s been super hard as well. But hang in there, you’ve got this, we’ve got this!
Gosh I just love your channel! I am 34 weeks pregnant with our first and Ive been so afraid of feeling this. I love my wonderful husband and family but they have never felt depression and keep saying 'its in your head, just choose to feel something else or don't think about it. You have a great life!' but it isn't that easy and I've not even had our baby yet! Some days are so much harder than others and they just don't get it. You put all my insecurities, nerves and thoughts into words in a way I have been unable to do so far and now I have a way to preemptively help myself through this and explain it to my husband so he knows how I'm feeling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so real and honest about this. Seriously you have helped me in so many ways already! Please keep blogging and whatnot, it is a relief and wonderful to hear it laid out as plain as you have been able to make it here. You are wonderful! I am so grateful for you!!
I’m proud of you momma. It is a very hard topic to talk about. I am blessed not to have it. Baby girl is 6 weeks now. I breastfeed for the first month and was just miserable and had to make a change for us. I switched from breast to pumping and had so many problems with both. There was a major guilt for me when it came to stopping pumping. I felt like everyone was going to look down on me. I’m a nurse so I know “breast is best.” But it is extremely hard. It’s was harder for me than being a mom over all. It is very important to be able to vent. It’s not “complaining.” Therapy might help since you don’t have family nearby. I have a lot of family close by that could take her in a heart beat which helps a lot. Thanks for the video! I love them.
Sitting here pumping after being up all night with my 2 week old thats backed up and fussy. This video was exactly what I needed. Just to hear the words that I'm too ashamed to say or admit to myself. To be able to shed tears with you knowing that there is no judgment and that we have a shared experience meant everything. I have an awesome support system. My mom has been amazing and even took her own maternity leave from her job to be home with us for the first few weeks. It's hard to open up to my fiance because of our cultural differences, he has a VERY opinionated mother who already "diagnosed" me with PPD before I even had any symptoms. Like I was literally smiling and happy and loving on my baby, but if I had one difficult feeding or was snippy in the morning after a rough night, she would tell my fiance that I had postpartum depression. She visited us for the 1st 3 days out of the hospital and I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time. She criticized EVERYTHING I did. She called normal newborn crying "colic" and had a solution to every "problem" that she found with my perfect baby. The pressure to keep it altogether was immense, even after she left!! That rippling effect has contributed to problems with breastfeeding and even added strain to my relationship with the father because I have to always fight to hold everything together in fear that he tells his mom anything that can be used against me. And now that I have this sadness, this irritability, I make myself anxious with the thought that it might be PPD because of what that would mean to his family. Mental health isn't talked about, its frowned upon for you not to be perfectly well-adjusted at all times. On the flip side, most of my family struggles with mental health issues and we are very open about it. I'm stuck in this tug of war with myself and I feel like the baby and I are losing. We are getting a raw deal and I'm not sure how to cope with it. I keep pushing my fiance away instead of letting him in. I'm sorry for ranting, this video just helped me sort through my thoughts and be brutally honest with myself. Thank you for helping me.
Honestly, your video does not make me scared of getting PPD- it makes me feel more prepared. I've suffered from depression for quite a while, and I know that means I probably have a higher chance of getting PPD, so hearing you talk about it, helps me in some weird way. I'm absolutely loving all your videos, but especially this one. Thank you 💙
This hit home for me! 😩 just had my baby a week ago at saddle back hospital. She was born 1/19/19. Having the help at the hospital was amazing. Once I got home I was scared. I’m Going through all this right now. It does feel nice knowing I’m not alone. Women do so much for our babies mentally, emotionally and physically. It’s hard seeing my Fiancé not having to go through these changes and he’s amazing but sometimes I wish I could have a break! Thanks for sharing your story!
Olivia, you are so brave for putting your emotions out there. I am one of the viewers that started watching your videos when I found out I was pregnant last October and I love all your baby-related videos. Out of all that I've seen, this one is the most I'm paying attention to because it's real, and it happens, and it's so important to not keep this to yourself. You are brave, and strong, and are a beautiful soul, and even if your family isn't there with you, you have a supportive husband who is there for you and a beautiful baby who loves his mama. Keep going girl, you got this. Sending hugs your way! ❤❤❤
This isn’t the first video of yours that I’ve cried through....Your car accident, your labor, your pregnancy video with your sister in-law.....so maybe I’m just a crier? But thank you for this video 🙏🏽💛 I’m also an only child who has struggled with depression in phases since I was young and I haven’t had my baby yet but for some reason I just really feel like postpartum depression is something that will be apart of my journey....And your video makes me feel not so afraid of that. It’s normal and I’ll get through it. Thank you for that reassurance and for sharing your story. Truly. 💙
I’m pregnant with my second child and I’ve had a really rough time this pregnancy and I feel like I can’t voice my struggles because I’ll offend someone or make someone angry. It’s not fair that we as women are made to feel that way by other women. I feel like women aren’t allowed to talk about how pregnancy or PPD can be hard because some women can’t or haven’t experienced pregnancy yet. I wholeheartedly want every woman to experience pregnancy if that’s what they desire, but being open and honest about how hard pregnancy can be should be more accepted instead of being confused for being ungrateful. I needed to watch this video today, thank you ❤️
I HATED THE MINI PILL!!!!!!!!! Oh my word!!!! It made me feel CRAZY and totally anxious - it was AWFUL! My sister experienced the exact same thing with it, too. It took me a while to clue in that I needed to stop taking it. Hadn't been on anything since. Decided to go natural and haven't been on hormonal birth control since! So sorry to hear you have been struggling, but know that you aren't alone...you are totally normal having these emotions! Don't feel bad or guilty! Being a new mom can feel VERY lonely at times for most - a lot of friends have told me just as much, and I will likely be experiencing it myself come June... Thank you so much for sharing. Keep being open and honest and real about the struggle of life cause we all go through it in some form or another. You are so strong and should be so proud - you will WIN this fight, girl! Thinking of you and praying that each day gets easier for you. Much love!!! 💕 (I just noticed this vid was from 6 months ago...lol. Therefore I hope looking back on this vid makes you smile when you see just how far you have come and how you beat the struggle yet again! 😊)
Thank you so much for sharing this! Its because of people like you that have made postpartum problems less of a stigma. Thank for opening up to your viewers, and thank you for the advice on how to talk about even the little things make a difference, and that "it's ok to feel that way". From all the mamas that struggle with postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD we appreciate you!!
I actually watched this video while I was still pregnant. My son is now 6 months old, and I'm just realizing I've got the anxiety side of post partum issues.. thank you so much for this video and the article you linked. I really appreciate your willingness to share your experience.
Just stumbled upon your channel and this video in looking for more relatable moms to follow. I am 8.5 months postpartum and you are speaking to my soul, thank you! I’ve found it nearly impossible to express what I’ve been going through, and you hit it right on. My PPD manifested itself more in anxiety symptoms, ultimately leading to actual panic attacks. Luckily I’ve gotten help and am starting to feel more like myself. Good luck with your journey, I will be subscribing and following along :)
My favorite part was when you said that you’d rather help one person or even two. If everyone worked to try to help at least one person the world would be a better place. I appreciate that(: love you stranger (: haha
I am a new subscriber to your channel and I have binge watched your videos. I have enjoyed them all but I think this is the bravest video I have ever seen. I know you have your second baby now and he is lovely and I hope you have had a better time with little Arlo. I do admire you and you will have helped so many mums. Good on you.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I first watched this when I was pregnant and said I'm so happy there's no way I would get ppd but then I had Jude and was hit with it bad. But being able to come back to watch this video and relate makes it so much easier. I'm not alone. Thank you so much for posting this Olivia.
You are such a beautiful person inside & out! Thank you for sharing your story, you are so genuine, kind, & compassionate. Your words are supporting so many others going through this & we can’t thank you enough for putting this out there! I’m a mama of a 9 month old boy who is my world! For me, building relationships with fellow new moms has really helped develop that support system you were talking about needing. As well as a person who you could eventually trust to watch your baby from time to time. Places that worked for me to meet other moms was signing up for any baby classes/events. Such as a baby music class, baby/mom yoga, swimming, library/community free program events for mom & baby etc. I’m here to support you from afar as you’ve been supporting all of us with your channel! All my love!
Thank you for this video. It honestly feels nice knowing all of us aren’t alone. I went through PPD with my daughter (my first child), because I was expecting a med-free vaginal birth and an amazing breastfeeding experience. Come to find out, I had a breech baby who refused to flip even with intervention, I needed a CS and then breastfeeding was a STRUGGLE. I found out when I went to breastfeed that I have flat nipples so my daughter struggled to latch. We tried to make it work for 2 months and one day my milk disappeared. Out of no where. I felt like my body had completely failed me and I got so depressed. No one understood expect for other moms when I finally opened up. My own mom had no idea how I was feeling. She didn’t understand how I could be so upset. Which made things worse for me. Getting up, putting makeup on, getting actual clothes on and doing something with my hair and just getting moving helped snap me out of my bad days. So I just encourage you to keep doing that as well, just make yourself do things that make you feel better and you’ll get through this. You are NOT alone. You are an incredible mom. PPD doesn’t define who you or your abilities. ❤️ I’m now pregnant with baby #2, and I’m determined to have a successful VBAC, and a much easier and better breastfeeding experience. I honestly cannot stop thinking about the things that went wrong with our first. I’m honestly so worried breastfeeding won’t work again and I’ll need a CS or something and I’m trying to prepare myself mentally for things to go differently than I am planning for. I’m hoping things go better this time around because I’m terrified to have PPD with a newborn and a 5 year old. I don’t know how that’ll go...
Thank you for opening up about the husband resentment. The first time a friend told me about those feelings I thought, “That won’t happen to me. My husband is so supportive.” But I definitely do feel that way. It’s hard to not think about how much more our female bodies, careers, hormones, etc, are effected when you and your husband are “partners”. It’s real. I just try to remind myself every morning and night that in our marriage there will be times that I have to carry us, and there will be times that he has to carry us (emotionally, financially, whatever). It will all even out eventually. We just have to try not to let our frustrations fuel each other’s bad moods.
This gave me so much comfort going into motherhood. I dealt with depression about 2 years ago while on birth control and it was the scariest feeling. I am now 8 months pregnant and so beyond excited to be a Mom. I’ve been having some really down days and been worried about postpartum depression and the guilt with all of those thoughts is overcome. This video was such a great reminder with how to deal with such difficult emotions and to remember that I’m not alone❤️ thank you.
Olivia I’m a new subscriber and thank you so much for sharing this story. I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant and have been feeling a lot of these feelings through my pregnancy and I’m glad seeing someone like you who is so positive open up encourages me to open up with my significant other a little more. It’s scary and I’m glad you made this video
I know that this is an older video for you, but for me it is the best heads up I could ever receive whether I'll need it or not (19 weeks pregnant). I want to thank you for opening up and being real so that others can know in advance that everything will be ok. You're the best, and you are good people💜. Continuing to watch your journey!
This is beautiful, raw, and honest. I am 5 months postpartum and suffered from postpartum depression. And like you I felt alone even with my family by my side. I wanted everything to be ok but it wasn’t. Now I have more good days than bad but recovery is not a straight road. Thank you for sharing this. Helps remind me that I’m not alone.
I appreciate all the honesty Olivia. New moms like myself need this to overcome anything that comes our way. I didn’t even think about this until you brought it up. It’s very informative. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am here to learn about this topic because my fiance is gonna give birth sometime this month and I want to do all I can do to be supportive and be "prepared" as best as I can to help her in case she goes through this.
Thank you for putting this out there! Depression is such a liar! It can be difficult to shut off the loop of terrible things it makes you tell yourself. I’m not sure if what I went through was ppd or just extreme exhaustion (I had to have an appendectomy on my baby’s one month birthday!) I’m 7 weeks pp and one of the biggest helps for me has been having a good mom’s group on Facebook. It’s a place to vent with women who understand what you’re going through, but it also helps to put things in perspective, because hearing what other people are going through often makes me thankful for being in my situation and not theirs.
Girl your amazing! And so real.. it’s so hard to find someone I enjoy watching who is 100% real. And I feel like you totally are so keep up the videos pleasee! I’m 24 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I find your videos super useful😘 ❤️👶🏻
Thank you so much for talking about PPD! It’s a reality that youtubers don’t ever show so it’s nice to have someone open up like you did. It really helps me feel like what I’m going through is ok and everything will be ok. It definitely gives me hope and lifted my spirits knowing that I’m not alone. Thank you again!
Thank you SO much for opening up about this. I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant and your videos have seriously helped me along. I have so much respect for you for making the post partum videos. It seems nobody wants to talk about it, and I seriously applaud you for doing so. Thank you for being so real with us. ❤️ Your an inspiration!
I’ve had PPD after having my first child. I’m pregnant with my second. I was so afraid of getting pregnant again bc of the fear of depression. Praying for you. We’re not alone. Stay strong 💪🏻. You got this.
I have a 7 week old baby and you have no idea how good this video made me feel. Thank you for sharing your experience. I've been struggling with the exact same feelings for a couple of days. You made me feel normal 💜
I never understood PPD because those were the best day of my life. However my 19 yr old daughter gave birth back in November and she suffered from PPD. To the point of psychosis. She left her baby at 3 months old. I have had him ever since. Everyone told me that she would come back not to worry. She has not. It is one of the hardest things to deal with because now I know she is not coming back. As her mother I can not do anything because she is an adult. I love my little boy but am I his mom or his Lala. My youngest was 17 yrs old and now at 51 I’m raising an infant. I know it’s not her fault she did not get pregnant on purpose. She gave him life I could not ask for anything more. I’m glad you are putting this video out. I wish my daughter could have seen this.
I am 21 and have a 4 week old. I am going through ppd and I can say I did not plan on having a baby and being a young mother is really tough but I would never dream of leaving my child. You see my mom did the same to me. She left when I was six and never came back I was raised by my grandmother. I know depression is hard especially when you have a child but that is never an excuse to leave your baby. I hate my mom and always will for what she did. I sincerely hope your daughter comes back.
Thank you so much for opening up, I do really think it’s important to show real life and not just the good stuff. I’m new to your channel but I have really enjoyed and appreciated your videos as I am getting ready to bring my first baby into the world! Thank you 🥰
Thank you for this video... I’m 8 weeks postpartum. I started feeling the unusual anxiety and depressed feeling around 6 weeks postpartum, and it seems like it has gotten worse when I started taking my birth control... I came to realize it is possibly making my anxiety and depressed feeling worse and it added the sudden mood outbursts. Feeling this way scares me because I never felt this way before. I usually can shake these feelings off, but today is the second day I felt anxious, sad, and angry all at the same time.
thanks for sharing! I'M 35weeks pregnant , trying to get fully ready mentally and physically, hearing your story will definitely give me a heads up. and hope everything will be ok.
Thank you Olivia. You are strong and beautiful. Thank you for being honest and transparent. I've suffered with depression my whole life, so I've naturally been worried I'll suffer with PPD. I'm 41 weeks 3 day and so over being pregnant. I am already struggling because I feel so discouraged waiting for this baby and everyone is bugging me, and I don't wanna get induced.
Thank you for sharing these real feelings. I am 3 weeks away from welcoming our first baby and this is a topic I’ve been researching to prepare myself - learning the symptoms and hearing of others experiences are so incredibly valued. Thank you for your bravery on a sensitive and personal subject.
I love the way you break down the sliding scale of self care. In the long run, it is so much better to have a well taken care of mom who can give her best self to her babies.
I just watched this on 8/2020 This made a huge difference in my life now, I am suffering from PPD. And could not find any other honest but practical video about it on UA-cam as yours. Others are all crying that I already have in me. I needed some other point of view to it, not just the sad part. THANK YOU. ❤️❤️
Thank you for being real and honest! I found you through pregnancy related videos cause I’m pregnant right now myself with my first child and I just really enjoyed who you are and your videos and I looked forward to waiting and seeing the videos you posted. And I still do! One of the things I like about you is the fact you go places other people don’t go with just raw real. So thank you once again cause I need to know these things. Your helping me so much! Please don’t ever stop! Baby and non-baby related I enjoy you! Your very strong for posting this! 💜
Thank you so much for this video. I’m 5 weeks postpartum and I have always had depression and anxiety, it is nice to know I’m not alone in this. I’d love to hear how you are going now?
I had really bad ppd when I had my daughter. No one warned me of this and I had a really hard time handling it. I didn’t even want to touch her. It was horrible. I’m pregnant with my second one right now and I’m definitely more aware of what could happen. I hope you get through this the best you can! I’m so glad you were able to open up about this tough topic!
Olivia! You are absolutely beautiful inside and out. Thank you so much for making this video. I love this space that you have created where you can share what motherhood is really like. As a gal who wants to start a family this is what I need. I want to know if I experience what you're going through that I'm not abnormal and that it's OKAY if I don't have an instagram perfect "snapback". There is way too much pressure to be perfect so thank you for sharing your story. I hope you'll do updates on your journey 💕
I appreciate you making this video and being real and raw. Pregnancy, post partum, and parenting are not all sunshine and rainbows. I 20 weeks pregnant and have struggled with severe anxiety and depression my entire life. I am medicated for my anxiety and depression. PPD is something that my doctors are very worried that may happen and it’s something that I’m very aware can happen easily to me. My husband is in the military so it makes me even more scared and worried for once baby is here because he’ll be working and tired from how demanding his job is. Anywho, long story short, hank you for this video and opening up and letting people know that they are not alone and it is okay to seek help and admit that you are not okay.
Hi Olivia! I just recently came across your channel and saw this video and even though it's a year old, I wanted to say thank you so much for this! I struggled with depression after having my first child who is now 5. At the time she was a newborn I was a SAHM and thought the depression was due to not having a job because once I went back to work when she was 10 months old the depression went away. Now I have a second baby that is 3 months old and I have a job this time and I've been struggling again. Even though I don't know you, seeing you went through what I seem to be going through and hearing you say we are going to be ok is something I really needed to hear today! Anyway, thank you for opening up and making this video.
Wow Olivia! This was so honest. I can't thank you enough for opening up about all of this. It didn't at all come across as ungrateful. What your going through and how you feel is real and hard, even if others have harder struggles. Dont feel guilty. I've never seriously struggled with depression but I think it's amazing that your talking about this so honestly because it will help SO many people!
I am 31 weeks pregnant... I am so scared about post partum... I've been watching your videos for about 3 months... Thank you for sharing your story with us... Thank you for opening up... You are precious & so sincere.. 💓 I don't have family close either... So I know that feeling of feeling alone... You are amazing!!! Always remember that!!! 💙
Thank You, i struggle to articulate how i'm feeling, and you summed it up perfectly. Its so nice to know we are not alone. Thank You for opening up and being vulnerable. I felt comfort, and so will many others who are feeling and going through the same thing.
I am mirroring your story as we speak. Although I am 6 months PP, I noticed the depression getting worse when I started to notice the hair loss, clearly a chemical imbalance. Getting in touch with a therapist today.
Opening up a bit to share some of my struggle lately. I hope this helps anyone who is going through the same thing! I know this video is pretty long, but I felt like everything was really important to say. We're all in it together. ❤️Thank you for watching!
Olivia Zapo this came and the perfect time for me. Thank you so so much for sharing this. You have really helped me face this and helped me feel like I’m not alone. UA-cam can make everything seem so perfect and beautiful and you are just so real and authentic and I really appreciate it ❤️❤️ so much love to you!
luving yur videos but this 1 jus hit me!! and so love how u r concern about others that r goin through the same problem as u... it goes to show how ur beautiful inside as well :* we all should be here to support u 2, much luv.
From the bottom of my heart I just want to say thank you for this. PPD has been hitting really hard and I was feeling that my baby would be better without me. I decided today to see what other women go through and your video was the first I clicked on and now I feel more positive and tomorrow will be better.
Thank you for your bravery.
God bless you.
Olivia Zapo lovely video. I like all the others, but this one is deeply honest and beautiful. Keep strong girl 🌼💪
I am going through it right now with a 4 year old and a 4 month old. Thank you so much for this
I’m speechless. This is 100% what every new mom needs to hear so we all know we’re not alone. I wish I could “like” this video over and over again! So much love for you and your videos! ❤️
I so agree. Its such a bold thing to talk about!
7 weeks postpartum and this is really hitting home. I've struggled with it my whole life, but now even when I should be so happy, it's hard.
Oh my gosh, when you started talking about pumping and how the husband doesn't have to go through anything, that hit me so hard. Like someone finally said it.
Especially the part about feeling guilty about feeling that way too. Took the words right out of my mouth.
Exactly. I tried to explain that to my family and they thought I was talking behind my husbands' back. They could not understand that I was not angry AT him, but at the way things were.
It is so hard. As a mom, our lives change completely when we have that little one... good and bad. Physically, mentally, and our time is not our own. But our husbands don't have that. Yes, things change for them as well, but not in the same way.
I just had my 6th baby and for the first time I am able to recognize the depression.
Yesssss
I just had my third son and this is the first time I am experiencing some baby blues. I will say I wish I educated myself on this before hand because it has been scary. I never felt so sad in my life the way I was feeling. Stay strong and never feel judged.
I think what helps me was my husband was so there for me and he accepted my feelings and made me feel validated all the time. He made me not feel crazy and he always told me it’s ok.
Just a quick note on all the guilt you expressed about other's struggles. Someone else's struggle does not diminish yours. It's just different and it's just as valid. Try to let that go.
Depression sucks enough without taking on the problems of others you can't control. Hugs. You're very brave for sharing your story. Thank you
reality check taking care of a child is the hardest job in life
hardest!
Say that to my husband. He thinks and says that I have it easy. And he expects me to do absolutely everything around the home. Pretty much all he does is work and bring home a pay check.
Adriana Gonzalez I’m sorry😔
@@AdrianaGonzalez-ty6ws that sucks!!! You mom's don't get days off and there's no pay!!
@@AdrianaGonzalez-ty6ws leave the baby with him on the weekend. Just wake up and leave the house, if your breastfeeding get a pump. Leave him to look after the baby for a whole day then see what the prick says
I am 31 weeks and am nervous about PPD because I have dealt with depression for a large part of my life I and have not seen many videos on PPD even though coworkers have said they have seen their wives go through it or have gone through it themselves. I am so glad that you posted this video. There is such a stigma on depression and ppd and its good to know and hear that it is ok. Thank you so much for being so brave and sharing your story. Means a lot to those of us who may deal with the same thing.
Just because you’re complaining doesn’t mean you don’t want him or love him. I’m 33 weeks and hate being pregnant. At first I felt so bad for complaining because I kept telling myself that so many people can’t have children and I should feel so lucky to be able to even get pregnant. But since speaking to my ob, I’ve been told I might have antenatal depression. But that DOES NOT mean we don’t want or don’t love our children. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sending you lots of love!
Thank you for this. My son is a month old and I battled these feelings until recently. I felt like an absolute failure and utterly alone. I didn't want to take care of my son and began to resent everything. I thought I was going absolutely crazy. I had no motivation to do ANYTHING. I opened up about it to an in-law and got such a judgmental response and it hurt me deeply. My mom (who flew in from across the country), my husband, and my friends swooped in to support me. I thank God for them. Even in all my unreasonable emotional turmoil, they took care of my son and prayed with me every day until I came out of it.
I wish someone was honest like this with me. To tell me that I am not alone in my feelings and that it's ok to feel VERY down (not just the "blues"). Thank you for your bravery in making this video. You are making a huge impact with your story.
Awww babe! I’m so sorry that you went to seek comfort from that family member, and didn’t get a positive response from them. I bet that was devastating. I pray that you’re doing better now and I hope that your beautiful baby boy is growing healthy and strong.
And just know that if there are days where you feel unmotivated, drained, sluggish, and sad-that’s completely normal. Just know that you’re doing the best that you can. Your son is going to grow up loving you tremendously, and won’t hate you for dealing with PPD after his birth. (I’ve heard that can be a common fear that mom’s have.)
If you do notice that the depression is starting to remain consistent and creep up again, definitely reach out to your husband, your doctor, a friend, a therapist, etc.
Make time for yourself. Be gentle with your heart and your thoughts and always know that you are a fantastic mother, even during the overwhelming moments. Sending lots of love and light your way! ✨
@@sabrina.natalie Thank you for taking the time out of your day to write this to me! What a sweet and uplifting message to read at work while I am pumping :). My son is a thriving 6 month old now, and I am over the moon in love with him. Some days are very hard of course, so thank you for the reminder that feeling overwhelmed is still normal. Definitely giving myself more grace these days and assurance that I am doing my best. ❤️
You’re more than welcome my dear! I’m elated to hear that things are gradually getting better. May your spirit continue to feel at ease and I pray that God continues to bless you and your family abundantly.
Olivia, thank you so much for this. It’s funny because I had my baby around the same time as you had Christian & I’ve been watching your videos and totally thinking “wow she has it all together why am I not that way”? Turns out you have been struggling the same way as me. I appreciate your honesty so much. Newborn life is SUCH an adjustment. & YES the mom guilt. The “at least you have a baby” thought is awful. It’s so hard. You’re an amazing mama 💕 thank you.
I just want to give you a big hug. Crying with you. 💕💕
SUCH AN ADJUSTMENT. its crazy! And then it takes you down a road of adjustments forever lol
Thank you for sharing. I'm having a hard time finding videos like this that make me feel less alone. My recovery has been terrible and contributed to my mental health deteriorating. I feel very sad sometimes but most often just numb and I don't want to talk about it with anyone. Hearing others stories is helpful.
Thank you so much for sharing! ❤️ I am five weeks postpartum and just started noticing that I am suffering from PPD and debated on making a video on my channel about this. Thank you for giving me the courage to just go for it and post my video.
I, too, have tried making a video about this. It is not easy. My baby is 2 months old. I am experiencing ppd yet again, but am thankful to recognize it earlier this time. It feels so similar to what you said. I don't always have such feelings of despair, they hit suddenly. And talking about it, even just to a camera, really does help.
Thank you so much for opening up. I suffer from depression and am pregnant with my first. So even my pregnancy has it's up and down days. It's really comforting to hear someone open up about depression and see how amazing they still are as a parent.
Thank you for this! 6 weeks postpartum and I can relate so much. Thanks for breaking the social media bubble of perfection and being real. Love you videos, so relatable.
Hi Olivia~
I started watching your channel when I was 5/6 months pregnant ( I bought everything in your postpartum video) and I recently just gave birth( my first baby as well!) and right after that I literally spiraled down into postpartum depression severely for the first few days. Im actually so surprised you had this experience as well!!!
I bawled my eyes out the first week after the birth and felt so guilty for everything, for not bonding, for not being able to hold the baby because of my epistemology stitches and pains. I literally was unable to walk, sit, lie and I just cried and cried.
Im so happy you made this video because I also freaked out and started googling other people who had ppd or suffered ppd and it was only after reading what other mums were going through did I feel better...
As for the husband thing, I also couldnt help but feel like it was unfair that men dont have to go through these huge hormonal and bodily changes. My husband and son were able to “bond” while I looked at them from afar....!!!
I had a very traumatic birth experience and right after the baby was born my husband was able to hold, feed, change and cuddle the baby, whereas I was completely bed ridden unable to go even to the bathroom.
I cried for many days, and am still recovering...!!!
So thank you for your video and for sharing because like you said...!! You making this video does and will help so many other new mummies out there!!
So much love to you!
Xoxoxo
please don't stop making videos! I'm only 10 weeks now but I'm 19 years old and your mom series has helped me sooo much, opposed to all the other mom videos out there. thank you so much, Olivia!
Thank you so much for posting this!! I gave birth to my son in July and I have postpartum depression! It’s very hard being a stay home mom for me because of it. I started a UA-cam channel to help with my depression and it has been working, which is great! I love how you explain the depression, that’s exactly how I feel!! You give me the courage to feel okay today 👍🏼
oh honey i had to stop the video to write this.
im currently pregnant with my first baby, and i just want to say THANK YOU for being open and honest to the world about REAL life! im also prone to anxiety and depression and have struggled with it since childhood. i have ben so scared that i would get depression when baby is born, but the thing is i feel like when other people go thorugh it and talk about it openly like you are doing now actually really really helps! having depression does not make anyone a worse mother in any way. i truly feel like we need to be allowed to have these emotions and talk about them so we can get the love and support we need. im rambleing now iknow, i just really wanted to say thank you and also woud love to give you a HUGE hug!!!!
Thank you for this video. I been thinking for about 2 months that I could be dealing with postpartum depression. Watching your video made me glad that I just made a doctor's appointment. All the symptoms you talked about I've been experiencing. I went through it before with my first daughter and I went to therapy and was prescribed some meds. What I think really helped was talking to someone who wasn't judgemental. Being a parent is not easy, especially when you don't have much support. Blessing's to you and yours.
I know this video is old now but I’m 8 weeks post partum and currently dealing with ppd so thank you for making this bc I no longer feel alone
How r u now
I truly appreciate you. I’m pregnant now with my first and I appreciate the realness. I’m sick of people acting like everything is perfect. Women need people like you who are willing to put your truth out there whether life is great or sad. You are an inspiration. Please know that I think you are absolutely stunning your beautiful in and out. Thank you 🙏🏼
This 🙌
I relate almost to a “T” of what you talked about in here. Even the part about living far away from all family(I live in a different state from all family). I’ve watched a ton of your videos, but never saw this one! I even saw your videos about your second little baby, Arlo, too! I just had my first baby on 6/26/20. I am close to 4 weeks PP and I’ve been experiencing almost all of what you said. Every day is different and I feel like I’m somewhat getting better. I realized that I’m just so used to having my own freedom that having a baby(which i love my baby, just like you) Makes the “freedom” disappear suddenly. It’s almost like a shock. Even though your happy to have your baby, it doesn’t make it easy.
I just want you to know how very much this impacted me. It almost validated me. Your whole purpose of making this video was met, dear friend.
I do have a question! So this video was made in 2018 after you had Christian. Now fast forward to now, where you have Christian and Arlo. Did you have PP with Arlo? Or do you feel that it was easier the second time around?? Super curious!
Watching this video was like looking in a mirror. I felt like you were talking about me. I love my daughter more than I thought possible but I have felt the fear, frustration, sadness, and guilt. My husband is so supportive and a great dad but I sometimes resent his freedom. Thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable. It’s great to know I’m not alone and not crazy.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and open about your story!! You have helped me today! ♥️
I will save this video and watch it after I have my second baby, I constantly need a reminder like this one, that it’s ok to be depressed sometimes and that I’m not alone and we are built to have this life with all of it’s ups and downs! God doesn’t give us hardships that we are not capable of dealing with!🙌🏼 Thank you so much for doing this video, it will help to so many people out there!🙏🏼🤍
Never had a baby, and had a hysterectomy 2 years ago. But I've dealt with depression since I was 3 years old and I'm 39 now. Thank you for sharing your story and trying to create a conversation about something so important.
Thank you for sharing this. I also go through this struggle and have dealt with depression & anxiety on/off for as long as I can remember. My daughter is now 8.5 months old and completely fills my heart and as you said, I often felt guilty for having those depressing emotions when I am so beyond blessed and grateful to have her. I have been doing a lot of self-reflecting and inner healing work, which has helped tremendously, but I still have those tough and dark moments. I'm so thankful to have a wife who cares about my mental health and accepts me for who I am with no shaming ; I'm glad that your husband provides that for you as well. Living with depression and anxiety isn't always easy, but the good definitely outweighs the bad so I try to focus and be fully present in those good moments. It helps to know that I'm not alone, as I have often felt isolated in my emotions. Thanks again for sharing and being so transparent. Sending you love & positive vibes!
I can relate so much to this video!
Thanks so much for opening up your heart 💓. I just gave birth two months ago and I’m fighting postpartum depression and anxiety and by watching this I feel that I’m not the only one and that I’m not alone.
Much love for you!
Oh, bless your heart for sharing this. I am a few weeks away from giving birth to my third and final baby, and the possible postpartum depression is the part that scares me most. The fear has actually woken me up in the middle of the night with anxiety "attacks".
I’m super late on this video, but thank you for your transparency. I’m going to be a first time mom and these are things that cross my mind. I’m happy to see and hear that this is being talked about in a positive light and that these emotions and thoughts are valid. Thank you. Praying for healing heart and mind. 🙏🏼😊
Your son is staring at you with the purest love. Sometimes we forget to see ourselves through their eyes. Stay well
This video makes me love you even more. I’m a new mommy of a three week old precious baby girl. I totally understand what you mean and I’m glad you made this video . I hope it get better for you. You’re a great beautiful person this is something you need to get off your chest and help other woman you’re amazing.
That part where you said you felt he was better off without you... I went through that. Holding it all in makes you feel so isolated and alone but its like when you open up to your partner its like a ray of sunshine through that dark cloud.
I wish all the people watching the new "24 hours pregnant" videos would watch this. Pregnancy and babies seems to be a status symbol or cute trend and they don't realize all the things that come along with it
Amen!! 🙌🏼 It's so much more than just a bump in a cute outfit.
@@oliviazapo when u got a baby boy ..how old u wer???
I crave a baby and my husband and daughters beg me for one more but after my third I felt how much I struggled after to feel ok to feel normal. I still struggle with it my youngest is 9 and am terrified to get pregnant and not be able to care for a new born.
So I started following you because of all your maternity videos which really helped with giving motivation to dress up and change my attitude towards my pregnancy. After this video I’m a subscriber I’m in my 2nd trimester and I’ve never had anxiety/depression and this video helped me so much. So thankful for you being so real and just know you a strong mama ❤️
Thank you for making this. As someone that suffers from Bipolar 2/depression/anxiety I am absolutely terrified (yet desperately want) to be a mommy. Because of you and your courage to make this video I feel so safe and understood, even outside of motherhood. Hormones for me are my worst enemy so seeing your troubling times and how honest and candid you are gives me strength. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this. I feel like I have a voice now!
No judgment here. I was hospitalized for a week on a psych ward five days after my son was born. Post partum depression anxiety psychosis is not a joke. Thank you for sharing your story it helped me.
This is my first time watching one of your videos and I just had to subscribe. Thank you for being so open and raw ❤️ I’m currently 4 weeks postpartum and I’ve been dealing with PPD. I’ve felt like I was alone but now I know I’m not. Again thank you so much for sharing, everything you’ve said is so true!
I have not had my baby yet, but I am nervous about PPD. I just have to say I am SO glad you mentioned birth control. I was put on birth control when I was a teenager for acne and super irregular periods. I stopped taking it at 23 when I got married and we wanted to have kids. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE LITERAL WEIGHT I felt come off my shoulders when I stopped taking the pill. I had just always thought I had dark thoughts and anxiety. What makes me so angry is that I mentioned these feelings THREE times to my doctor over the 6 something years I was on this pill. I was so young when I started it was hard to tell and notice that this was not my “normal.” My random panic attacks (literally to the point I couldn’t see or breath) stopped after about week that I was off the pill. SO happy you were able to notice the changes and take the right steps. ❤️ (Side note - I definitely do not go to the same doctor anymore 🙃)
GIRL. You're not the only one who has had issues with birth control. I got off of it 3 years ago because I was having similar issues to you. I'm just grateful that both of us were able to realize it was a huge part of the problem.
Also, I love your videos. I feel like we're a lot alike with our planning/ researching/anxiety/guilt and you've become a major resource for me in this preconception phase of ours. I already struggle with anxiety to the point where that's currently my biggest concern about being pregnant. You're amazing and are helping so many people. I know you've definitely helped me a lot.
💗 This is why I have loved finding your channel. It's why I loved your pregnancy and birth videos, not just because I am currently pregnant as well. You have a wonderful way of sharing real life, the nitty-gritty that others are afraid to share. We need this transparency in life, between friends, between family, between our fellow women. We need more of this. Thank you, Olivia. Please don't ever feel bad sharing the truth, you will have so many people supporting and appreciating you. You got this, momma!
So much yes to this video! I’m 34 weeks and I have been battling depressing through my pregnancy. I’m so nervous that I will have this and I honestly am trying to prepare for it. If it happens it happens and I will deal with it when it comes if it does. My husband took on a new job and now he’s gone for 3 weeks and home for 1. So that’s been super hard as well. But hang in there, you’ve got this, we’ve got this!
Gosh I just love your channel! I am 34 weeks pregnant with our first and Ive been so afraid of feeling this. I love my wonderful husband and family but they have never felt depression and keep saying 'its in your head, just choose to feel something else or don't think about it. You have a great life!' but it isn't that easy and I've not even had our baby yet! Some days are so much harder than others and they just don't get it. You put all my insecurities, nerves and thoughts into words in a way I have been unable to do so far and now I have a way to preemptively help myself through this and explain it to my husband so he knows how I'm feeling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so real and honest about this. Seriously you have helped me in so many ways already! Please keep blogging and whatnot, it is a relief and wonderful to hear it laid out as plain as you have been able to make it here. You are wonderful! I am so grateful for you!!
I’m proud of you momma. It is a very hard topic to talk about. I am blessed not to have it. Baby girl is 6 weeks now. I breastfeed for the first month and was just miserable and had to make a change for us. I switched from breast to pumping and had so many problems with both. There was a major guilt for me when it came to stopping pumping. I felt like everyone was going to look down on me. I’m a nurse so I know “breast is best.” But it is extremely hard. It’s was harder for me than being a mom over all. It is very important to be able to vent. It’s not “complaining.” Therapy might help since you don’t have family nearby. I have a lot of family close by that could take her in a heart beat which helps a lot. Thanks for the video! I love them.
Sitting here pumping after being up all night with my 2 week old thats backed up and fussy. This video was exactly what I needed. Just to hear the words that I'm too ashamed to say or admit to myself. To be able to shed tears with you knowing that there is no judgment and that we have a shared experience meant everything. I have an awesome support system. My mom has been amazing and even took her own maternity leave from her job to be home with us for the first few weeks. It's hard to open up to my fiance because of our cultural differences, he has a VERY opinionated mother who already "diagnosed" me with PPD before I even had any symptoms. Like I was literally smiling and happy and loving on my baby, but if I had one difficult feeding or was snippy in the morning after a rough night, she would tell my fiance that I had postpartum depression. She visited us for the 1st 3 days out of the hospital and I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time. She criticized EVERYTHING I did. She called normal newborn crying "colic" and had a solution to every "problem" that she found with my perfect baby. The pressure to keep it altogether was immense, even after she left!! That rippling effect has contributed to problems with breastfeeding and even added strain to my relationship with the father because I have to always fight to hold everything together in fear that he tells his mom anything that can be used against me. And now that I have this sadness, this irritability, I make myself anxious with the thought that it might be PPD because of what that would mean to his family. Mental health isn't talked about, its frowned upon for you not to be perfectly well-adjusted at all times. On the flip side, most of my family struggles with mental health issues and we are very open about it. I'm stuck in this tug of war with myself and I feel like the baby and I are losing. We are getting a raw deal and I'm not sure how to cope with it. I keep pushing my fiance away instead of letting him in. I'm sorry for ranting, this video just helped me sort through my thoughts and be brutally honest with myself. Thank you for helping me.
Honestly, your video does not make me scared of getting PPD- it makes me feel more prepared. I've suffered from depression for quite a while, and I know that means I probably have a higher chance of getting PPD, so hearing you talk about it, helps me in some weird way.
I'm absolutely loving all your videos, but especially this one. Thank you 💙
This hit home for me! 😩 just had my baby a week ago at saddle back hospital. She was born 1/19/19. Having the help at the hospital was amazing. Once I got home I was scared. I’m Going through all this right now. It does feel nice knowing I’m not alone. Women do so much for our babies mentally, emotionally and physically. It’s hard seeing my Fiancé not having to go through these changes and he’s amazing but sometimes I wish I could have a break! Thanks for sharing your story!
Olivia, you are so brave for putting your emotions out there. I am one of the viewers that started watching your videos when I found out I was pregnant last October and I love all your baby-related videos. Out of all that I've seen, this one is the most I'm paying attention to because it's real, and it happens, and it's so important to not keep this to yourself. You are brave, and strong, and are a beautiful soul, and even if your family isn't there with you, you have a supportive husband who is there for you and a beautiful baby who loves his mama. Keep going girl, you got this. Sending hugs your way! ❤❤❤
This isn’t the first video of yours that I’ve cried through....Your car accident, your labor, your pregnancy video with your sister in-law.....so maybe I’m just a crier? But thank you for this video 🙏🏽💛 I’m also an only child who has struggled with depression in phases since I was young and I haven’t had my baby yet but for some reason I just really feel like postpartum depression is something that will be apart of my journey....And your video makes me feel not so afraid of that. It’s normal and I’ll get through it. Thank you for that reassurance and for sharing your story. Truly. 💙
I’m pregnant with my second child and I’ve had a really rough time this pregnancy and I feel like I can’t voice my struggles because I’ll offend someone or make someone angry. It’s not fair that we as women are made to feel that way by other women. I feel like women aren’t allowed to talk about how pregnancy or PPD can be hard because some women can’t or haven’t experienced pregnancy yet. I wholeheartedly want every woman to experience pregnancy if that’s what they desire, but being open and honest about how hard pregnancy can be should be more accepted instead of being confused for being ungrateful. I needed to watch this video today, thank you ❤️
I HATED THE MINI PILL!!!!!!!!! Oh my word!!!! It made me feel CRAZY and totally anxious - it was AWFUL! My sister experienced the exact same thing with it, too. It took me a while to clue in that I needed to stop taking it. Hadn't been on anything since. Decided to go natural and haven't been on hormonal birth control since!
So sorry to hear you have been struggling, but know that you aren't alone...you are totally normal having these emotions! Don't feel bad or guilty! Being a new mom can feel VERY lonely at times for most - a lot of friends have told me just as much, and I will likely be experiencing it myself come June... Thank you so much for sharing. Keep being open and honest and real about the struggle of life cause we all go through it in some form or another. You are so strong and should be so proud - you will WIN this fight, girl! Thinking of you and praying that each day gets easier for you. Much love!!! 💕
(I just noticed this vid was from 6 months ago...lol. Therefore I hope looking back on this vid makes you smile when you see just how far you have come and how you beat the struggle yet again! 😊)
Thank you so much for sharing this! Its because of people like you that have made postpartum problems less of a stigma. Thank for opening up to your viewers, and thank you for the advice on how to talk about even the little things make a difference, and that "it's ok to feel that way". From all the mamas that struggle with postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD we appreciate you!!
I actually watched this video while I was still pregnant. My son is now 6 months old, and I'm just realizing I've got the anxiety side of post partum issues.. thank you so much for this video and the article you linked. I really appreciate your willingness to share your experience.
Just stumbled upon your channel and this video in looking for more relatable moms to follow. I am 8.5 months postpartum and you are speaking to my soul, thank you! I’ve found it nearly impossible to express what I’ve been going through, and you hit it right on. My PPD manifested itself more in anxiety symptoms, ultimately leading to actual panic attacks. Luckily I’ve gotten help and am starting to feel more like myself. Good luck with your journey, I will be subscribing and following along :)
This made me cry and truly gives me the strength to want to share my own story. Thank you for being vulnerable, Liv. You’re beautiful. 💖
My favorite part was when you said that you’d rather help one person or even two. If everyone worked to try to help at least one person the world would be a better place. I appreciate that(: love you stranger (: haha
I am a new subscriber to your channel and I have binge watched your videos. I have enjoyed them all but I think this is the bravest video I have ever seen. I know you have your second baby now and he is lovely and I hope you have had a better time with little Arlo. I do admire you and you will have helped so many mums. Good on you.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I first watched this when I was pregnant and said I'm so happy there's no way I would get ppd but then I had Jude and was hit with it bad. But being able to come back to watch this video and relate makes it so much easier. I'm not alone. Thank you so much for posting this Olivia.
You are such a beautiful person inside & out! Thank you for sharing your story, you are so genuine, kind, & compassionate. Your words are supporting so many others going through this & we can’t thank you enough for putting this out there! I’m a mama of a 9 month old boy who is my world! For me, building relationships with fellow new moms has really helped develop that support system you were talking about needing. As well as a person who you could eventually trust to watch your baby from time to time. Places that worked for me to meet other moms was signing up for any baby classes/events. Such as a baby music class, baby/mom yoga, swimming, library/community free program events for mom & baby etc. I’m here to support you from afar as you’ve been supporting all of us with your channel! All my love!
Thank you for this video. It honestly feels nice knowing all of us aren’t alone. I went through PPD with my daughter (my first child), because I was expecting a med-free vaginal birth and an amazing breastfeeding experience. Come to find out, I had a breech baby who refused to flip even with intervention, I needed a CS and then breastfeeding was a STRUGGLE. I found out when I went to breastfeed that I have flat nipples so my daughter struggled to latch. We tried to make it work for 2 months and one day my milk disappeared. Out of no where. I felt like my body had completely failed me and I got so depressed. No one understood expect for other moms when I finally opened up. My own mom had no idea how I was feeling. She didn’t understand how I could be so upset. Which made things worse for me. Getting up, putting makeup on, getting actual clothes on and doing something with my hair and just getting moving helped snap me out of my bad days. So I just encourage you to keep doing that as well, just make yourself do things that make you feel better and you’ll get through this. You are NOT alone. You are an incredible mom. PPD doesn’t define who you or your abilities. ❤️
I’m now pregnant with baby #2, and I’m determined to have a successful VBAC, and a much easier and better breastfeeding experience. I honestly cannot stop thinking about the things that went wrong with our first. I’m honestly so worried breastfeeding won’t work again and I’ll need a CS or something and I’m trying to prepare myself mentally for things to go differently than I am planning for. I’m hoping things go better this time around because I’m terrified to have PPD with a newborn and a 5 year old. I don’t know how that’ll go...
Thank you for opening up about the husband resentment. The first time a friend told me about those feelings I thought, “That won’t happen to me. My husband is so supportive.” But I definitely do feel that way. It’s hard to not think about how much more our female bodies, careers, hormones, etc, are effected when you and your husband are “partners”. It’s real.
I just try to remind myself every morning and night that in our marriage there will be times that I have to carry us, and there will be times that he has to carry us (emotionally, financially, whatever). It will all even out eventually. We just have to try not to let our frustrations fuel each other’s bad moods.
This gave me so much comfort going into motherhood. I dealt with depression about 2 years ago while on birth control and it was the scariest feeling. I am now 8 months pregnant and so beyond excited to be a Mom. I’ve been having some really down days and been worried about postpartum depression and the guilt with all of those thoughts is overcome. This video was such a great reminder with how to deal with such difficult emotions and to remember that I’m not alone❤️ thank you.
You are super strong. This is the most transparent video I've watched from anyone! Thank you for sharing.
Olivia I’m a new subscriber and thank you so much for sharing this story. I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant and have been feeling a lot of these feelings through my pregnancy and I’m glad seeing someone like you who is so positive open up encourages me to open up with my significant other a little more. It’s scary and I’m glad you made this video
I know that this is an older video for you, but for me it is the best heads up I could ever receive whether I'll need it or not (19 weeks pregnant). I want to thank you for opening up and being real so that others can know in advance that everything will be ok. You're the best, and you are good people💜. Continuing to watch your journey!
This is beautiful, raw, and honest. I am 5 months postpartum and suffered from postpartum depression. And like you I felt alone even with my family by my side. I wanted everything to be ok but it wasn’t. Now I have more good days than bad but recovery is not a straight road. Thank you for sharing this. Helps remind me that I’m not alone.
I appreciate all the honesty Olivia. New moms like myself need this to overcome anything that comes our way. I didn’t even think about this until you brought it up. It’s very informative. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am here to learn about this topic because my fiance is gonna give birth sometime this month and I want to do all I can do to be supportive and be "prepared" as best as I can to help her in case she goes through this.
Thank you for putting this out there! Depression is such a liar! It can be difficult to shut off the loop of terrible things it makes you tell yourself. I’m not sure if what I went through was ppd or just extreme exhaustion (I had to have an appendectomy on my baby’s one month birthday!)
I’m 7 weeks pp and one of the biggest helps for me has been having a good mom’s group on Facebook. It’s a place to vent with women who understand what you’re going through, but it also helps to put things in perspective, because hearing what other people are going through often makes me thankful for being in my situation and not theirs.
Girl your amazing! And so real.. it’s so hard to find someone I enjoy watching who is 100% real. And I feel like you totally are so keep up the videos pleasee! I’m 24 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I find your videos super useful😘 ❤️👶🏻
Your super strong and absolutely beautiful inside and out, I love your videos and am pregnant now! Thank you for being yourself 🥰🤰🏻
Thank you so much for talking about PPD! It’s a reality that youtubers don’t ever show so it’s nice to have someone open up like you did. It really helps me feel like what I’m going through is ok and everything will be ok. It definitely gives me hope and lifted my spirits knowing that I’m not alone. Thank you again!
Thank you SO much for opening up about this. I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant and your videos have seriously helped me along. I have so much respect for you for making the post partum videos. It seems nobody wants to talk about it, and I seriously applaud you for doing so.
Thank you for being so real with us.
❤️ Your an inspiration!
I’ve had PPD after having my first child. I’m pregnant with my second. I was so afraid of getting pregnant again bc of the fear of depression. Praying for you. We’re not alone. Stay strong 💪🏻. You got this.
I have one month old son and I cannot relate more. You just put into words everything I am feeling these days. Thanks for this video,
I have a 7 week old baby and you have no idea how good this video made me feel. Thank you for sharing your experience. I've been struggling with the exact same feelings for a couple of days. You made me feel normal 💜
I never understood PPD because those were the best day of my life. However my 19 yr old daughter gave birth back in November and she suffered from PPD. To the point of psychosis. She left her baby at 3 months old. I have had him ever since. Everyone told me that she would come back not to worry. She has not. It is one of the hardest things to deal with because now I know she is not coming back. As her mother I can not do anything because she is an adult. I love my little boy but am I his mom or his Lala. My youngest was 17 yrs old and now at 51 I’m raising an infant. I know it’s not her fault she did not get pregnant on purpose. She gave him life I could not ask for anything more. I’m glad you are putting this video out. I wish my daughter could have seen this.
You are amazing for stepping in! Thank you for sharing your and your daughter's story.
cwc3kids she really needs to grow up and take responsibility
@@emc5807 that's easy to say but depression is a monster
I am 21 and have a 4 week old. I am going through ppd and I can say I did not plan on having a baby and being a young mother is really tough but I would never dream of leaving my child. You see my mom did the same to me. She left when I was six and never came back I was raised by my grandmother. I know depression is hard especially when you have a child but that is never an excuse to leave your baby. I hate my mom and always will for what she did. I sincerely hope your daughter comes back.
cwc3kids /
Aw Olivia
Thank you so much for opening up, I do really think it’s important to show real life and not just the good stuff. I’m new to your channel but I have really enjoyed and appreciated your videos as I am getting ready to bring my first baby into the world! Thank you 🥰
And thank YOU for being so authentic! This is why I love your videos. So relatable and real!!
Thank you for this video... I’m 8 weeks postpartum. I started feeling the unusual anxiety and depressed feeling around 6 weeks postpartum, and it seems like it has gotten worse when I started taking my birth control... I came to realize it is possibly making my anxiety and depressed feeling worse and it added the sudden mood outbursts. Feeling this way scares me because I never felt this way before. I usually can shake these feelings off, but today is the second day I felt anxious, sad, and angry all at the same time.
Im going through this now! You are brave for putting this out there. You are helping a lot of people though! You are a great momma!!!
thanks for sharing! I'M 35weeks pregnant , trying to get fully ready mentally and physically, hearing your story will definitely give me a heads up. and hope everything will be ok.
Thank you Olivia. You are strong and beautiful. Thank you for being honest and transparent. I've suffered with depression my whole life, so I've naturally been worried I'll suffer with PPD. I'm 41 weeks 3 day and so over being pregnant. I am already struggling because I feel so discouraged waiting for this baby and everyone is bugging me, and I don't wanna get induced.
Thank you for sharing these real feelings. I am 3 weeks away from welcoming our first baby and this is a topic I’ve been researching to prepare myself - learning the symptoms and hearing of others experiences are so incredibly valued. Thank you for your bravery on a sensitive and personal subject.
I love the way you break down the sliding scale of self care. In the long run, it is so much better to have a well taken care of mom who can give her best self to her babies.
I just watched this on 8/2020
This made a huge difference in my life now, I am suffering from PPD. And could not find any other honest but practical video about it on UA-cam as yours. Others are all crying that I already have in me. I needed some other point of view to it, not just the sad part.
THANK YOU. ❤️❤️
Sending you so much love!! ❤️❤️
Thank you for being real and honest! I found you through pregnancy related videos cause I’m pregnant right now myself with my first child and I just really enjoyed who you are and your videos and I looked forward to waiting and seeing the videos you posted. And I still do! One of the things I like about you is the fact you go places other people don’t go with just raw real. So thank you once again cause I need to know these things. Your helping me so much! Please don’t ever stop! Baby and non-baby related I enjoy you! Your very strong for posting this! 💜
Thank you so much for this video. I’m 5 weeks postpartum and I have always had depression and anxiety, it is nice to know I’m not alone in this. I’d love to hear how you are going now?
I had really bad ppd when I had my daughter. No one warned me of this and I had a really hard time handling it. I didn’t even want to touch her. It was horrible. I’m pregnant with my second one right now and I’m definitely more aware of what could happen. I hope you get through this the best you can! I’m so glad you were able to open up about this tough topic!
Olivia! You are absolutely beautiful inside and out. Thank you so much for making this video. I love this space that you have created where you can share what motherhood is really like. As a gal who wants to start a family this is what I need. I want to know if I experience what you're going through that I'm not abnormal and that it's OKAY if I don't have an instagram perfect "snapback". There is way too much pressure to be perfect so thank you for sharing your story. I hope you'll do updates on your journey 💕
I appreciate you making this video and being real and raw. Pregnancy, post partum, and parenting are not all sunshine and rainbows. I 20 weeks pregnant and have struggled with severe anxiety and depression my entire life. I am medicated for my anxiety and depression. PPD is something that my doctors are very worried that may happen and it’s something that I’m very aware can happen easily to me. My husband is in the military so it makes me even more scared and worried for once baby is here because he’ll be working and tired from how demanding his job is. Anywho, long story short, hank you for this video and opening up and letting people know that they are not alone and it is okay to seek help and admit that you are not okay.
Hi Olivia! I just recently came across your channel and saw this video and even though it's a year old, I wanted to say thank you so much for this! I struggled with depression after having my first child who is now 5. At the time she was a newborn I was a SAHM and thought the depression was due to not having a job because once I went back to work when she was 10 months old the depression went away. Now I have a second baby that is 3 months old and I have a job this time and I've been struggling again. Even though I don't know you, seeing you went through what I seem to be going through and hearing you say we are going to be ok is something I really needed to hear today! Anyway, thank you for opening up and making this video.
Nice to see youtubers and moms being super real. Thank you for sharing
Wow Olivia! This was so honest. I can't thank you enough for opening up about all of this.
It didn't at all come across as ungrateful. What your going through and how you feel is real and hard, even if others have harder struggles. Dont feel guilty.
I've never seriously struggled with depression but I think it's amazing that your talking about this so honestly because it will help SO many people!
I am 31 weeks pregnant... I am so scared about post partum... I've been watching your videos for about 3 months... Thank you for sharing your story with us... Thank you for opening up... You are precious & so sincere.. 💓 I don't have family close either... So I know that feeling of feeling alone... You are amazing!!! Always remember that!!! 💙
Thank You, i struggle to articulate how i'm feeling, and you summed it up perfectly. Its so nice to know we are not alone. Thank You for opening up and being vulnerable. I felt comfort, and so will many others who are feeling and going through the same thing.
2months postpartum & im still fighting! We can do this ladies
I am mirroring your story as we speak. Although I am 6 months PP, I noticed the depression getting worse when I started to notice the hair loss, clearly a chemical imbalance. Getting in touch with a therapist today.