Be open minded! Learn the language as much as possible before you go, and speak it and watch/listen to it on tv, etc. Enjoy the transition, embrace it!
You broke it down really well. That couple made so many mistakes: No community before coming, wanting the USA outside the USA, no research, no adaptability. You can’t come to France and complain about bread and Brie! 🤦🏾♀️
You are so on point with what you said. I often hear people saying they want to move somewhere because someone else said they moved to a place and it's wonderful. So they up and move without doing their research, learning the language, culture, food, or how the people in that country relate and interact with each other. Then they complain, that people aren't friendly, they don't the business hours and services are slow. But that's on them for not doing the work before moving there.
So true. Everyone is unique and what works for one person might not for another. Research and learning the culture are important as is knowing yourself. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
One thing that I’ve realized since moving is that I do need to have someone that can be my “in case of emergency person.” While I moved to France (because I thought it would be „easier“), I will be moving in the summer to Germany. My “whys” are stronger for there. I have more of an extended family there, I’m more comfortable and familiar with the culture, and there are many other things that draw me from language to food. I’m glad I made the move to France. It did show I had the courage to take such a big change. I will also not find myself regretting why I didn’t take a chance when I could.
"Easier" is a relative thing. The good thing is you recognized early on that France for you wasn't quite it and you've decided to pivot! Nothing wrong with that at all. You ARE courageous and now you know you have what it takes to make it to Germany. ❤️
If the couple listened to UA-camrs, especially in France and Italy, they could not have missed the differences in administrative processes. Also, it takes time to make connections in a new environment, especially if one is particular about one’s associates. There are lovely, helpful people all over the world but they might not be popping out of the woodwork just because I arrive. Good information from you always, Patricia.
True. Hearing that the administrative processes are different and actually dealing with the differences firsthand can be truly shocking. As you say, learning about them online is helpful. As for finding YOUR people, it does take time and effort. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve just started my second year in France. And now life is taking shape! The first year is always the most challenging. In part thanks to you Patricia ❤🇫🇷
It does take a bit of time to get your stride, but it seems like you are finding it. So excited for your new venture here, Lillian. I hope to come watch you perform one day. 😊
You are so calming & rational about the idea of moving abroad. I’ve rolled my eyes at a married couple who have a channel on YT who tried to move to France without speaking any French & didn’t understand or adapt to the cultural differences. Your point about patience is important, as is the concept of romanticizing France. My husband of 40 years is French & I’ve been back & forth many times. I told a cousin who was cautioning me about retiring there that at the end of the day it’s just a different place & one must consider if one likes it enough to adapt & won’t miss life here to the point that it becomes debilitating.
Hello Patricia! Great video! I definitely agree that learning the language is very important if you plan to move abroad. This is why I am motivated to learn the 3rd hardest language in the world for English speakers before I move to one of my favorite countries, Poland. As a member of your CEI program and after attending the Valencia meet-up & listening to your cohost, Dr. Christopher Wells speak, I am aware now that learning the language will be a lifelong journey. So I don't have to be fluent before I go, but I do need to, and I am getting a head start now. I also agreed with another commenter that the finances are important, too. 🙏🏽❤️☺️
Natina, your love of the country will help you be committed to learning the language which is half the battle. Having financial ducks in a row is vital for thriving anywhere, especially abroad. Powodzenia!
I will add that a few people I've talked to had not thought through how they would support themselves, financially, once they moved abroad. On lady friend was frustrated because she assumed finding employment with her educational background and strong job history would be enough to find a job in France. It wasn't. Referring to your comment on the administrative aspects of moving to France, getting a visa is somewhat complicated and the slowness of the process coupled with trying to adapt to new surroundings could leave someone feeling that they need to go home. I did not read the article, but I will, how often had the couple visited France before they moved?
Thanks for sharing. If someone assumes that it will be easy to find work in France, that could set them up for disappointment, indeed. I found the visa process itself relatively straightforward. At least for the long stay visitor visa and for the profession liberale visas I've applied for. Not sure how often the couple visited before moving here, but one time they stayed for two months.
Great topic and list, Patricia! It's definitely commendable for anyone to venture out into a foreign place to live for an extended period of time. I was not familiar with the couple you mentioned, but I think you hit all the right notes straight on. My heart goes out to those who fear taking the chance to begin with. I'm glad you help people make internal preparations ahead of making such a big move.
I absolutely agree. I think regretting not doing something and wondering what might have been is worse than taking a chance on your dreams. Thanks for sharing!
There was one couple who i read about who found the daily food shopping charming and exotic for their holidays but once they moved there, they hated not being able to just go once a week or fortnight, so they moved home for that & a couple of similar reasons. As far as I know, there are big supermarkets in France where you could do what they wanted, but presumably they didn't discover that. Another complainer was an older English man living regionally which worked fine for 10 years, until his English partner & he split up. He complained he was unable to date locally because no one spoke English. I thought it was weird he saw French women as having a deficit instead of acknowledging it was him & saying "I haven't yet learned French well enough to be able to date".
People understandably get excited about moving and they dont want to think about the hard aspects. I think they are running from something in most cases so it doesnt work.
Yes. After a couple years in, I had to take stock and recognize that the things that had been novel in the beginning(but no longer are) and which now are things I have to accept long term since I choose to stay (like hanging clothes on a clothes line, no central heating and air, no garbage disposal, etc.) are a part of the package. Fortunately for me, the good I feel here far exceeds the inconveniences.🙂
I've read extensively, thinking about moving to France, & the bureaucracy is mentioned a lot! I read enough to realise it's just another place, with problems, so just like anywhere else. I'm not happy where i live & am going to venture into relocating somewhere within my country or city first. (Australia). I am also working hard on building resilience to being alone and good daily routines, so I can withstand a big change. When we move, we take ourselves with us, so anything we're not good at is just going to be worse! Eg prone to frustration, sadness, not sociable enough, not interested in new ways or working hard to get the language or learn your way around a new place.
You are so right! Any new place is "another place with problems, just like anywhere else." I just listened to a Joe Dispenza video on how living alone can help build resilience. Good for you for your commitment to your personal growth. Best wishes.
We decided to travel full time so we can sample different cities and countries. No where is perfect but how do you know unless you check out the various and numerous options. We spent 6 weeks in Lyon and Avignon. We loved Lyon and decided Avignon wasn’t for us.
I think this is a good approach. The couple in the article spent a couple of months someplace in France. I think, another good thing to think about when traveling to try places on for size is to consider the irritations and whether you'd be willing to put up with them long term when your the situation is not temporary. Bon courage !
I've lived and worked abroad for years in France, Sweden and two countries in Asia. I'm now house sitting for a month in London. I'm now thinking that this could be a great place for my husband and I live in part-time.
Looking forward to visiting with you next week on the phone. Some things separate me from many or at least not disclosed. One is that I am not needing or desiring to make an income, am retiring. A lot of folks are retiring there, are they more successful in adapting? The other thing is that I have spent a fair amount of time in France, fall and winter to ski and bike. I do actually like the food and the ability to find food at weekly markets. My cousin lives in Switzerland and i discovered eating fat asparagus w/olive oil and nutmeg and discovered wonderful frog legs in the Burgandy region. Am interested in experimenting with French regional cuisine. My biggest challenges will be advancing to language skills higher than what I achieved in college French, dealing with the bureaucracy and getting a driver’s license. Am looking at finding some sort of home stay exchange for at least 6 months while I rent and travel around to find out where I really want to live. Have had thoughts about Annecy, Chamonix area and Ste. Foy Tarantaise, but suspect I may find other areas I like. As an Asian-American, one of the challenges I have had is that when the French look at me, they automaticallly assume I don’t speak the language and are more than pleasant and helpful with my effort. I know enough French to be a relatively effective tourist and if I am in a group, usually help out with some limited translation. But it has been well prior to the pandemic since I have travelled there. I do wonder if if some of this mindset has changed, just as it has in the US. BTW, I think we have a lot in common, I also went both graduate programs in the Boston area, was a city planner for 21 years, went back to school to do an RN to MSN program and am trying to retire from being a nurse practitioner for another 21 years, LOL!
I'm looking forward to our conversation too. I don't think retiring someplace makes the adjustment easier. I came on a sabbatical (and wasn't looking for work for a couple of years) and I think had I had a job to go into, having a ready-made situation to socialize might have made some things easier. Being open-minded is vital and, from what you've shared it sounds like you are that. I muddled through high school and college French and wasn't proficient, at all. Now I am. So, going beyond your college level of French proficiency is definitely possible. Thanks for sharing!
If you are not looking forward to living differently then moving isn't for you. If you complain other countries don't do things the way you are used to... maybe don't move. If you have to constantly be with your family and they aren't coming with you... maybe don't move. If you insist on speaking only English and you want to go somewhere that isn't English speaking.... Maybe don't.
I think you hit the nail on the head "if you are not looking forward to living differently" then moving isn't for you." I would add that if you are not looking forward to how you will change, then moving might not be for you. I call moving abroad a wonderful personal development program. Thanks for sharing this.
There were many europeans (eu citizens) who didnt have any problems adapting in france. Wondering if the pair of us guys couldnt adapt because they faced more birocracy than eu citizens or if there were other reasons.^^
I think some European countries have some cultural things in common (more balance between work and personal life (stores closed on Sundays), smaller personal space parameters, and perhaps slower, less clear admin process) that might make it easier to adjust. But I don't know for sure.
What are some other things needed to prepare mentally for living in a foreign country?
Be open minded! Learn the language as much as possible before you go, and speak it and watch/listen to it on tv, etc. Enjoy the transition, embrace it!
You broke it down really well. That couple made so many mistakes:
No community before coming, wanting the USA outside the USA, no research, no adaptability.
You can’t come to France and complain about bread and Brie! 🤦🏾♀️
😆"You can't come to France and complain about bread and brie."😂 Thank you for this!
You are so on point with what you said. I often hear people saying they want to move somewhere because someone else said they moved to a place and it's wonderful. So they up and move without doing their research, learning the language, culture, food, or how the people in that country relate and interact with each other. Then they complain, that people aren't friendly, they don't the business hours and services are slow. But that's on them for not doing the work before moving there.
So true. Everyone is unique and what works for one person might not for another. Research and learning the culture are important as is knowing yourself. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
One thing that I’ve realized since moving is that I do need to have someone that can be my “in case of emergency person.” While I moved to France (because I thought it would be „easier“), I will be moving in the summer to Germany. My “whys” are stronger for there. I have more of an extended family there, I’m more comfortable and familiar with the culture, and there are many other things that draw me from language to food. I’m glad I made the move to France. It did show I had the courage to take such a big change. I will also not find myself regretting why I didn’t take a chance when I could.
"Easier" is a relative thing. The good thing is you recognized early on that France for you wasn't quite it and you've decided to pivot! Nothing wrong with that at all. You ARE courageous and now you know you have what it takes to make it to Germany. ❤️
If the couple listened to UA-camrs, especially in France and Italy, they could not have missed the differences in administrative processes. Also, it takes time to make connections in a new environment, especially if one is particular about one’s associates. There are lovely, helpful people all over the world but they might not be popping out of the woodwork just because I arrive. Good information from you always, Patricia.
True. Hearing that the administrative processes are different and actually dealing with the differences firsthand can be truly shocking. As you say, learning about them online is helpful. As for finding YOUR people, it does take time and effort. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve just started my second year in France. And now life is taking shape!
The first year is always the most challenging. In part thanks to you Patricia ❤🇫🇷
It does take a bit of time to get your stride, but it seems like you are finding it. So excited for your new venture here, Lillian. I hope to come watch you perform one day. 😊
You are so calming & rational about the idea of moving abroad. I’ve rolled my eyes at a married couple who have a channel on YT who tried to move to France without speaking any French & didn’t understand or adapt to the cultural differences. Your point about patience is important, as is the concept of romanticizing France. My husband of 40 years is French & I’ve been back & forth many times. I told a cousin who was cautioning me about retiring there that at the end of the day it’s just a different place & one must consider if one likes it enough to adapt & won’t miss life here to the point that it becomes debilitating.
I love that "at the end of the day it's just a different place and one must consider if one likes it enough to adapt" Well put!
40 ans un mari français😮😮 mon dieu quel courage.
en tant que compatriote américain, vous êtes une source d'inspiration pour moi! Merci.
😊Merci beaucoup. Bon courage !
Et pour moi aussi, et moi, je suis aussi Americaine!😊
I love thinking about what I'm running toward!
Wonderful. I find that is such a great motivator.
One year is hardly the time it takes to get adjusted to a new place even in one's own country (know the place, make new friends, etc.).
For me at the 18 month mark I was just finding my stride.
Hello Patricia! Great video! I definitely agree that learning the language is very important if you plan to move abroad. This is why I am motivated to learn the 3rd hardest language in the world for English speakers before I move to one of my favorite countries, Poland. As a member of your CEI program and after attending the Valencia meet-up & listening to your cohost, Dr. Christopher Wells speak, I am aware now that learning the language will be a lifelong journey. So I don't have to be fluent before I go, but I do need to, and I am getting a head start now. I also agreed with another commenter that the finances are important, too. 🙏🏽❤️☺️
Natina, your love of the country will help you be committed to learning the language which is half the battle. Having financial ducks in a row is vital for thriving anywhere, especially abroad. Powodzenia!
@PatriciaBrooksCourageCatalyst Dziękuję, Patricia! ☺️❤️
I will add that a few people I've talked to had not thought through how they would support themselves, financially, once they moved abroad. On lady friend was frustrated because she assumed finding employment with her educational background and strong job history would be enough to find a job in France. It wasn't. Referring to your comment on the administrative aspects of moving to France, getting a visa is somewhat complicated and the slowness of the process coupled with trying to adapt to new surroundings could leave someone feeling that they need to go home. I did not read the article, but I will, how often had the couple visited France before they moved?
Thanks for sharing. If someone assumes that it will be easy to find work in France, that could set them up for disappointment, indeed. I found the visa process itself relatively straightforward. At least for the long stay visitor visa and for the profession liberale visas I've applied for. Not sure how often the couple visited before moving here, but one time they stayed for two months.
Great topic and list, Patricia! It's definitely commendable for anyone to venture out into a foreign place to live for an extended period of time. I was not familiar with the couple you mentioned, but I think you hit all the right notes straight on. My heart goes out to those who fear taking the chance to begin with. I'm glad you help people make internal preparations ahead of making such a big move.
I absolutely agree. I think regretting not doing something and wondering what might have been is worse than taking a chance on your dreams. Thanks for sharing!
There was one couple who i read about who found the daily food shopping charming and exotic for their holidays but once they moved there, they hated not being able to just go once a week or fortnight, so they moved home for that & a couple of similar reasons.
As far as I know, there are big supermarkets in France where you could do what they wanted, but presumably they didn't discover that.
Another complainer was an older English man living regionally which worked fine for 10 years, until his English partner & he split up.
He complained he was unable to date locally because no one spoke English.
I thought it was weird he saw French women as having a deficit instead of acknowledging it was him & saying "I haven't yet learned French well enough to be able to date".
Interesting stories. Thanks for sharing!
People understandably get excited about moving and they dont want to think about the hard aspects. I think they are running from something in most cases so it doesnt work.
Yes. After a couple years in, I had to take stock and recognize that the things that had been novel in the beginning(but no longer are) and which now are things I have to accept long term since I choose to stay (like hanging clothes on a clothes line, no central heating and air, no garbage disposal, etc.) are a part of the package. Fortunately for me, the good I feel here far exceeds the inconveniences.🙂
I've read extensively, thinking about moving to France, & the bureaucracy is mentioned a lot!
I read enough to realise it's just another place, with problems, so just like anywhere else.
I'm not happy where i live & am going to venture into relocating somewhere within my country or city first. (Australia).
I am also working hard on building resilience to being alone and good daily routines, so I can withstand a big change.
When we move, we take ourselves with us, so anything we're not good at is just going to be worse! Eg prone to frustration, sadness, not sociable enough, not interested in new ways or working hard to get the language or learn your way around a new place.
You are so right! Any new place is "another place with problems, just like anywhere else." I just listened to a Joe Dispenza video on how living alone can help build resilience. Good for you for your commitment to your personal growth. Best wishes.
We decided to travel full time so we can sample different cities and countries. No where is perfect but how do you know unless you check out the various and numerous options. We spent 6 weeks in Lyon and Avignon. We loved Lyon and decided Avignon wasn’t for us.
I think this is a good approach. The couple in the article spent a couple of months someplace in France. I think, another good thing to think about when traveling to try places on for size is to consider the irritations and whether you'd be willing to put up with them long term when your the situation is not temporary. Bon courage !
I've lived and worked abroad for years in France, Sweden and two countries in Asia. I'm now house sitting for a month in London. I'm now thinking that this could be a great place for my husband and I live in part-time.
Looking forward to visiting with you next week on the phone. Some things separate me from many or at least not disclosed. One is that I am not needing or desiring to make an income, am retiring. A lot of folks are retiring there, are they more successful in adapting? The other thing is that I have spent a fair amount of time in France, fall and winter to ski and bike.
I do actually like the food and the ability to find food at weekly markets. My cousin lives in Switzerland and i discovered eating fat asparagus w/olive oil and nutmeg and discovered wonderful frog legs in the Burgandy region. Am interested in experimenting with French regional cuisine.
My biggest challenges will be advancing to language skills higher than what I achieved in college French, dealing with the bureaucracy and getting a driver’s license.
Am looking at finding some sort of home stay exchange for at least 6 months while I rent and travel around to find out where I really want to live. Have had thoughts about Annecy, Chamonix area and Ste. Foy Tarantaise, but suspect I may find other areas I like.
As an Asian-American, one of the challenges I have had is that when the French look at me, they automaticallly assume I don’t speak the language and are more than pleasant and helpful with my effort. I know enough French to be a relatively effective tourist and if I am in a group, usually help out with some limited translation. But it has been well prior to the pandemic since I have travelled there. I do wonder if if some of this mindset has changed, just as it has in the US.
BTW, I think we have a lot in common, I also went both graduate programs in the Boston area, was a city planner for 21 years, went back to school to do an RN to MSN program and am trying to retire from being a nurse practitioner for another 21 years, LOL!
I'm looking forward to our conversation too. I don't think retiring someplace makes the adjustment easier. I came on a sabbatical (and wasn't looking for work for a couple of years) and I think had I had a job to go into, having a ready-made situation to socialize might have made some things easier. Being open-minded is vital and, from what you've shared it sounds like you are that. I muddled through high school and college French and wasn't proficient, at all. Now I am. So, going beyond your college level of French proficiency is definitely possible. Thanks for sharing!
If you are not looking forward to living differently then moving isn't for you. If you complain other countries don't do things the way you are used to... maybe don't move. If you have to constantly be with your family and they aren't coming with you... maybe don't move. If you insist on speaking only English and you want to go somewhere that isn't English speaking.... Maybe don't.
I think you hit the nail on the head "if you are not looking forward to living differently" then moving isn't for you." I would add that if you are not looking forward to how you will change, then moving might not be for you. I call moving abroad a wonderful personal development program. Thanks for sharing this.
There were many europeans (eu citizens) who didnt have any problems adapting in france. Wondering if the pair of us guys couldnt adapt because they faced more birocracy than eu citizens or if there were other reasons.^^
I think some European countries have some cultural things in common (more balance between work and personal life (stores closed on Sundays), smaller personal space parameters, and perhaps slower, less clear admin process) that might make it easier to adjust. But I don't know for sure.