MY AUTISTIC SON HAD A HUGE MELTDOWN
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- Опубліковано 30 чер 2022
- Sawyer's class has a field trip to play mini golf and has a big meltdown. Please Subscribe to watch our family grow!
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We are a big family of eight with Mom(Emily), Dad(Will), and our six kids, Harrison, Wyn, Griffin, Sawyer, Posey, and Lindy.
#BigFamily #meltdown #youarewonderful
Emily, I mean this in the most caring & sincerest way having known you all since the very beginning of your journey here on UA-cam, you must stop worrying about what others think. It truly & honestly doesn’t matter. They are not in your life or your world. In that very moment when Sawyer has a breakdown, he is so overwhelmed that the only way he can express himself is by having a ‘meltdown’. I mentioned I had a friend who’s son is also autistic, it’s her eldest son (she went on to have 2 more sons), she had great difficulty in the first 5-6 years of his life in understanding his world - how he thought, how he processed the world around him, Joe he took instructions, everything. This is NOT intended to be a criticism (& this is NO reflection on your parenting, you’re honestly the most wonderful & amazing mama, & I really mean that) but my friend asked the Dr after a very bad meltdown in the middle of the road (with oncoming vehicles & he is / was also a strong boy, she couldn’t move him & it really frightened her), if there was a course she could go on just to learn more about autism & how best to handle meltdowns. Let’s be honest, there’s no handbook to parenting is there?! It’s a scary & wild (but beautifully amazing!) journey, but parenting a child with any disability is different, & that course (2 days) changed my friends life. We met for a coffee & she was in tears at just how different life had become after. We aren’t wired the same as those on the spectrum, that doesn’t mean they’re wrong or we’re right, they’re just wonderfully different, but seeing things from their perspective can really help us help them navigate their world in an easier manner.
I should think he just overheated, & he just needed a countdown to a break time (10 more minutes, 5 more minutes until we have a nice drink & *insert his favourite snack here* !) & mention once he’s had his snack, you’ll go back to mini golf. Those with autism thrive on routines & patterns, knowing what’s going on & when helps them navigate their day.
Emily, you’re wonderful, you’re a good mama, there will always be good & bad days, tomorrow is a new day, Sawyer is no worse for wear, those people who were staring ? They don’t matter, they don’t know you or Sawyer. Chin up. Blessings sweetheart xx
Wow I know this for Emily but I have to comment is beautiful everything you wrote. 😢 I have to to say you are right on with everything you said in your comment and agree with everything you are so detailed I hope you read your comments.
How much can someone take? That was brutal... And you went on with your day, even though your heart and your spirit were broken. You are a hero Emily!!!
Its really dofficult i have 2 autistic kids myself … some days life feels really dark with all the stress
He’s was probably overheated! His cheeks were so flushed! He did really good at the mini golf!
Breathe Emily, prob an hour could have been a bit long, don't they insist on sun hats??
My mama heart feels your pain. Keep on keeping on. You’re a loving mom who wants what’s best. I’m proud of you both💜
Emily, here is a big HUGE hug for you. I have been there many times! I am so sorry!
It does suck how outbursts over sensory issues make neurotypicals think you're being "bad" or a "brat". This still happens to me. Thought Will's way of asking Lindy which activity to choose, by having her pick a hand, was really clever.
Yes, I noticed that, too!! Very clever, Will!!
I feel like Sawyer in situation like this l often just have to leave, my 10 yr old on the spectrum asked if l need to leave. She sat down recently and told me she knows how hard doing things are for her and that l am the best mummy and her best friend. I knew she realized my physical problems but have always tried to keep the other aspect of me away from her and it broke my heart.
I’m so sorry you all have to go through that! On a positive not WYN Sounded so sweet when she said “yes daddy?”🥹
I’ve been in your shoes. My grandson throws things hits when he’s upset. But they eventually calms down and it all gets better
I’d be having a meltdown too out in the heat. He said don’t worry mommy so sweet.
I feel for you. You did the right thing by bringing him home. Peace!
Emily, just wanted to say what a great job you and Will are doing with all your kiddos. Your feelings are totally valid, you are such a caring empathetic mom, you want what is best for your children. Each meltdown is a learning experience, however, with these wonderful children what worked once to calm him down may not work the second time. I’ve worked in special Ed for many years and what you did, was exactly what we would do when one of our students had a melt down, either from being overly tired, hungry, hot or overstimulated. We would remove them from the setting, away from others, and try to give them time and their needs met in an environment that was safe for them. Putting him in your cool car with a drink was exactly what he needed, even tho he may have gone kicking and screaming. I know the adults sympathized with you, they probably felt giving you space and having the other students stay away would give you the best chance for getting Sayer calmer. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment, you are so loved by so many people here on you tube.
The blessing here is he understood you were crying and sad n i love he wanted to reassure you in his own way ❤
Emily, Life is not picture perfect....You had a Great time!.... Sawyer communicated the best he could and you got him the help he needed when he asked for it....You are a Great Mom and you just need to calm down yourself and keep it together for Sawyer's good....Meltdowns are going to happen and Sawyer needs to be assured that you are keeping it together when he can't....That will help him to calm down....Life will go on even through meltdowns and he will remember the good times....Love your vlogs and it will be ok....
Emily it is sooo hard to navigate through the ups and downs of monitoring and constantly onguard for every possible thing that might happen. It's so multifaceted and hard to describe all the overwhelming thoughts and feelings of what a mom goes through. You were so good at expressing that complexity. What's so helpful about filming this day...is sometimes you get a chance to see things over again. At the point you were going to take a break but he wanted to keep going, perhaps at that time maybe mention to sawyer, one more hole then it's time to take a break, get a drink and cool off. Then you can play more golf. It's hard to find that stopping point more so with more reactive kids. Heat, hunger, tired or wired and hyperfocused....it takes so much effort...but it's also hard when others don't understand. It's embarrassing...not so much for you...but for how others look at and don't understand. They don't know the beautiful child you do...they don't understand the incredible pressures you have...x's pick a number. But I get it...I see, hear and feel. There were times...I forget until I hear you...how much it hurts. But don't stop expressing, don't hold it in. You both understand and have so much to handle..your doing an awesome job. One thing at a time, simple, structure, few words and giving headup before switching gears. Keeping cold drink and wet wash cloth. Having a bite size snack or two on you...and how you keep him from hyperfocusing is super hard but having distractions like that and monitoring that sweet spot before its too much...oh and don't ask him if he wants to stop and get a drink and cool down. No boys to stop playing...just let him know it's break time and we're going to snack cool off and get a drink. If he needs that one more hole...let him know after the next hole is break time and then we can come back. Looks like micromanaging...but it's setting him up for success and practicing. Don't let what others around dictate your behavior. You know the situation. If teachers or staff have issues...hopefully they will appreciate your being involved and helpful with working through things. I'm sure there are resources that can give you ideas and support to further help give ideas. Do you have a support group. It would be hard to get away to them but if there's a chance to go...it's invaluable to have others to hear about them and know how they have navigated through these tough times. As you know things change and hopefully for the better. Navigating meds and knowing when to change or stop certain ones also is important. I don't remember why he's taking meds? Your amazing...your doing great!!! Your mental and physical health is important too. Going home and not returning to class is perfectly OK. Those meds. Can cause behavior breaks. Sometimes getting on a med only works for awhile, then if you get off...you can return to it possibly. It's like it has to reset. Some meds cause severe issues and that's not the one... so let Dr know and keep journals because how else could you keep this all straight! God bless you. I'm here for you if you need!
@@anothergoldilocks1077 thank you. Yes I know about that but I was wondering if there was something else also and any other meds. Sometimes the meds issues are worse than what you were taking them for. Diet plays a huge role to stave off stuff but with so many details and lots of kids and a very picky eater...it's just really difficult at times. But a huge help! Moms are awesome and doing it everyday without an owners manual. Hats off to us all...but to the ones who have serious issues and lack of adequate support, help and understanding...your amazing and you can get through the bumps and mountains....it takes time and you have to be your own cheerleader...but no one's got the love you do to see it through. Traumatizing and liberating all at the same time.
You are a great mommy. I wish I could give you the biggest hug.
So frustrating especially when things were going so well. I’m sure you did your best. Don’t be hard on yourself. You are a wonderful mom!
Emily, just wanted to reach out and give you hug. What a wonderful mother you are!💞
"don't worry mommy" so sweet🥲
My heart hurts for you Emily. Sending hugs and love
You did what was right for your son. He can go to school another day It’s ok ❤️
hug for you Emily from Scotland - a tough day with Sawyer at mini golf - and your only human and have to have a cry. You got through it with Wills help....your both wonderful xx
You’re Scottish too? 🏴 ❤
I'm so sorry. :( He definitely could have gotten overheated since he looked pretty flush and in Colorado it is a dry heat, so you sweat less and can get dehydrated/overheated more easily. I'm a grown adult and I cannot let myself get overheated or I have full on panic attacks. :( I always have to wear a hat or sunglasses, but I'm not sure if Sawyer is able to do that or not.
I'm so sorry to hear what happened with Sawyer. But just know Emily you are not alone, heaps of other people have autism including myself. I to have sensory overloads and i get anxiety and stress out when it becomes to much for me all at once so i just step away. I believe in you Emily I know you can do it.
Much love,
Rose
Hang in there you are doing your best god loves you and your family
I just wanna say one thing she is so patient and caring even during a meltdown or anything
Sorry to hear about Sawyer. I'm glad they enjoyed the park later.
You are doing a good job with you kids I know it is not easy having kids disabilities but you are doing a wonderful job with them and always so proud of them and always trying to make them happy to worry about the mean people so just stare at you and your son that don’t understand what goes on in your life and you sons life you are a great and loving mom Emily keep it up ❤❤
Emily, I know how hard this is. My daughter has CP and could be so sweet and so happy. However she also has Schizoaffective Disorder. Most people who only saw her every once in a while would never see this side of her that had the meltdowns. We had gone on a trip to visit a family member one time, and flew. This is stressful for Mom anyway, as she is in a wheelchair. The trip went well and the fight back as well. When we got off the plane, and there was an older man that worked at the airport pushing her chair since I was handling the luggage. She was yelling and cursing all through the airport. When we got to those car, I was so upset and embarrassed. I knew she was exhausted, but it was so hard. I could give other examples, but you have to try and let it go. Some people will understand and some O’Sullivan not. If they are not understanding that is okay too. Just do your best and love your child. My daughter is 32 now and in a group home. They take great care of her and we go see her every week. Hangin there and take one day at a time. Will seems like he is a great support. You will get through this. Friends that have kids that are similar, or attending a good church can be great help. Also, respite is a great option.
Your family is wonderful ❤️
Have a great Canada day to u all stay safe enjoy your day love it
I hope he is OK and tomorrow is another day 🙏🏻 I'll be keeping him in my thoughts and prayers love you 😍 ❤ 💕 💖 💗 tons ♥ 💙 😘
I'm 65, and I threw my ear covers yesterday
Dont cry it will be alright we arevhere with you.😊
At the end of a stressful day I love how your family did a fun activity together. Emily you worked through a hard day ✔️
SENDING YOU HUGS AND LOVE.!!
I just love Wills calm and cool demener!!hes a gem!
You are one awesome mom. Melt downs are hard. I understand I work at a day program with special need adults. Anything can happen in minutes or seconds. So I get how your feeling traumatized at times.
He was probably just over whelmed with the heat hope you were ok ❤❤❤
Awww sweet Emily! Focus on the good time he had! Maybe he just got overheated and overwhelmed. Would it help maybe to have a timer set for like break time water time snack time?
People look at others when they are acting bad,, and when they. are acting good. These people might be looking at you trying to think of a way to help you. We automatically think they are judging us. You would be surprised how we have empathy for parents and kids.
Emily my heart goes out to you it is bloody hard my friends son is 14 when he has a melt down the rest of her children leave the house, she calls me for support it’s so hard for her being a single mum to I’ve known him since he was a baby all you can do is wait till it’s over, you are a super mum xx
Awesome kids yes golf is fun time eat laugh live your life to the fulliest Sawyer griffin kids
Love the determination from Sawyer when he was playing mini golf!
I understand 😭😭 you make us sad😢
Emily you did an amazing job with Sawyer!! He really did a good job at mini golf!! It could have been the heat?? Please don’t worry about OTHER PEOPLE!! YOUR AMAZING ❤️‼️
Let me tell you something. It’s so hard. And it may happen well into his teens, but you get better at it, I promise. We went to a Rockies game. It was unbelievably hot. Between anticipation, heat, anxiety, and some other things, my 17 yo son made himself sick. He was pale and shaking and refusing to eat or drink. Once we got home, he sat on the couch, apologized and hugged me and then fell asleep for hours, woke up to eat dinner then went to bed and slept until 2 the next day. It still upsets me, stressed me out, gives me mom guilt, etc. But I know he needs me to get him through those times. He won’t let my husband help. Occasionally he will let my older son help. But it usually has to be me. You will get through this I promise. God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called. Hugs.
Oh and we love that golf place!
Emily please stop worrying what other people think this is your life your children people will look at you and judge that’s life unfortunately it’s not right but it will happen also I do urge you to really look into children that suffer with both autism and ADHD as this can be a bit of a minefield as they are some traits that can be conflicting my daughter has both and now she’s 17 she can explain to me how her Brain works sometimes with certain things she really likes order and structure i.e. autism but with other things she likes to change things every five minutes she gets bored easily and likes to do multiple things at once i.e. ADHD i’m sorry Sawyer had a meltdown after he’d been doing so well I suspect he was hot and thirsty and couldn’t express himself but this is Sawyer and I’m sorry to say you really have to let go of the expectation that he will behave like your other children you cannot expect that sawyer and Griffin to be able to have that level of discipline and the sooner you let that go you will enjoy going out with them a lot more Trust me I’m speaking from experience let them be them
I can imagine how stressful that was. Glad part of the day was successful. I agree. No one would truly get “ used” to meltdowns. Your reaction was completely normal.
My little brother screams and shouts, too And has meltdowns
I think it was upsetting to you because everything was going so well. I feel that it made you so happy to see Sawyer having a good time. So when Sawyer had a meltdown it hurts your heart because you were so happy that he was so happy. It probably was the heat. He was having such a great time enjoying Mini golf that maybe you can bring him back again when it’s not so hot out. Does the Mini golf have any special events? I know where I live in Massachusetts at different parks they have one hour blocks for kids who are sensory. And they usually have extra staff on duty and it’s just for the kids. Maybe the mini golf has something like that. I think you’re amazing and your kids are amazing ❤️
This is sawyers biggest meltdown ever i hope it wa alright.
Dose sawyer like the x-ray vest they use at the dentist. If so maybe you can try A weighted blanket or weighted vest when he’s having meltdown.
It might’ve not been that he was having a hard time some meltdowns happen when the person is just excited and overstimulated. I’m glad you and Sawyer could have fun for the time you did sorry that you both had a hard time and left early.
You're an amazing mum❤
*mom
Water was probably the big facter!!! Always have a water bottle at all times!! God Bless!!!!! Hugs to you!!!!!
Sweet Emily you did what you thought was right. You can only do your best. It is hard when a child has a melt down wether they have problems or not. I understand you getting upset. Your heartbaches for that child when you cannot settle them. Totally not your fault. Totally not his fault. If others judge you, get your big girl pants on and hold your head high. You don’t have to make any excuses……..none.XXX
Poor sawyer he can’t really know when to say everything is ok 👍 and that he might be scared and it might be a little harder for him to understand his feelings and react differently for all the emotions maybe because of his disability maybe 🤔 but I hope sawyer calmed down and then was happy ❤and you are such a strong sweet mom ❤
I’m Crying
THEY ARE SO CUTE AND HANDSOME
Our son is 4 years old and diagnosed with autism; he is non-verbal but really understands everything you say to him.
I know how you feel at times it just seems like you think you have done everything correct but it just isn't enough. The child has their mind locked on something they are unable to express themselves correctly and they find that very frustrating.
I think doing what you did is the correct course of action; I would suggest holding a low tolerance to outbursts and use "we are going to leave" as the only ultimatum when this happens.
Typically ultimatums don't work very well however using a singular outcome with autistic children that encompass a generalized range of circumstances might make him think twice about what is important at the time.
I just watched a documentary on prime about a study of Alana Morisettt and her sensitivty as a child that people didn't understand. It's a psycholgical, scientific study done on many adults about their childhoods. Very intersting. Called Sensitive- the untold story. Autism is discussed a bit in explaining how it sometimes is involved.
Check it out if you can.
Knowledge us power and giving yourself compassion is important. Hang in there, you are doing better than you realize.
It’s okay mama there will be great times and hard times! He did so good for awhile. Maybe all the things you listed and sensory overload. It’s Althea communication tools he has so far. And screw anyone staring he is your baby and your a great mom and your both doing the best you can!!!
maybe overheated he did looked flushed !!
you are such a great mum to your children.
I bet the car with air conditioning helped him breath to the rhythm. For some reason air conditioning is like a rhythm to me and a sound machine. Plus he calmed down so I think he was really hot.
Emily I love your videos to much I am sorry for everything but my second Daughter have same my Daughter have one to I’m here for you Emily
It’s ok
Yeah I think he was just hot and overheated and couldn't communicate that to you 😓😪 But you're an amazing mom Emily. Sending hugs xx ❤️
Good job on the golf though.
The changing of paras was what my kiddo struggled with so much. His diagnosis even says he needs one to one but they refused. It’s like they just don’t get it. I’m so glad one to one is helping Sawyer!
If Sawyer was on a school field trip, one of the aids or teachers should have come & helped you stop Sawyer hitting you. If Sawyer is to grow up to have a chance of an ejoyable, somewhat typical life, he needs to learn what hurts other people & how to manage his feelings. I know it's early & he's young. I think you need to sit down & speak with Will about how you want to introduce the importance of the feelings of others to Sawyer. Obviously it needs to be age appropriate & understanding of Sawyer's limitations, but Sawyer is not gonna have a chance of moving forward in life if he doesn't at least understand how to manage his feelings. It will take time, tears & years, but it will pay off. Sawyer is smart. If you're compassionate & consistent, he will get it one day, it will click with him. I'm not saying he's naughty, far from it, but he needs to learn how to use his feelings in a more positive way. How about a device for Sawyer to help him communicate with you? It's worth a try.
It’s ok Emily I feel like sawyer has a mood switch and everyone has emotions and I know it is really hard for him 😢and some people don’t understand that Austim is not a bad thing and I know Austim is not bad and I do understand it because I met someone with Autism and he was actually really funny 😄 and sweet
Oh no sorry hugs it not your fault I have one second cousin have Autism too he is so smart I love him that he my family too
I’m so sorry I know how hard that is. My brother has autism , and ADHD so he’ll throw tantrums all the time and his is more active so he’ll fight and kick in the yell. Sometimes he even runs away from the house resting this video makes me so sad and I know what you’re going through. Please don’t feel like you’re the only one here.
💯❤️🇨🇦🙏🏼
❤️
@@anothergoldilocks1077 Feel very comfortable with my comment. Was pretty clear that Emily needed some empathy and support. It is tough raising kids in general but especially kids with special needs.
Sending hugs hang in there life sucks at times but you are strong and you can cope love Kathy from Australia 🇦🇺 🇦🇺 🇦🇺 🇦🇺
Don’t worry, my brother has autism yells a lot❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢❤😢 Do not be sad. I’m sad for you.
Emily you did nothing wrong! For you to break down is 100% ok. He was hot..frustrated..hungry you name it..then to have to wait to leave was too much for him and you. Maybe next time take a cooler with lots of cold things he really likes and then see if he was ready to just sit in car until be was ok..not buckled in until you were ready to drive. Take things from home that comfort him and put in car just in case. Felt bad for both of you! ❤❤❤
Next time make him a cold lunch with his favorite foods and drinks sounds like he got hot and has a melt down maybe he was over stimulated.
no Sunhats?
He is autistic he might not like hats
my 6 year old grandson has adhd and has meltdowns over simple things and sensory issues i feel your pain !!
Sorry I don’t want to be mean I’m just wondering why were you crying
FR
Bc it’s really and for a mother who has a son with autism adhd and other things when they have a meltdown
He got so hot and didn't know how to express himself.
Emily and Will you might consider a rescue med for these situations - my friends' autistic son (now 30+) is non-verbal and would have these meltdowns as he couldn't communicate. They used the medication only rarely but it was comforting to know that they had it available
Coming from a loving place. Everyone melts but in different ways. Look at it that you melted down emotionally. People just don’t understand different ways as if someone came upon you they would also act similar. This is how I look at it from someone that has similar issues as your son. Safe place, time, choices in a way that does not require verbal output, music, or giving preferred sensory tool are some things that help some. Don’t beat yourself up. Use it as a learning tool to prevent next time.
To the two people who made judgemental comments, I challenge you to switch places with her for q week, See how quick you are to judge after that, Oh, you can't do that? then keep your thoughts to yourselves.
Amen! Thank you for the decency inside your heart.
@@lindao7887 You're welcome,
@@anothergoldilocks1077 likewise
@@anothergoldilocks1077 I stand by what I said,
He just got too hot. Probably sweated out all his sugar. Poor baby. As he grows he will get better. Hang in there, Mom.
Sweety. maybe he was just a lil to hot, a lil hungry. I'm so sorry. you are a warrior! a good soldier! there will be days that are as good as this was bad. lets hope for more of those. big ole hugs mamma!
That’s almost always the case for us, hungry and thirsty almost always ends in big meltdowns especially when she’s doing something fun; she doesn’t want to stop to eat / drink and then it gets to the point where she can’t deal any more. I have to take snacks to school pick up because walking from the gate to the car was daily behaviours and meltdowns because she would come out of school hungry and thirsty and so done!
He did great!! He mostly was hot and need help for drink. But you did a great job to. Don't get yourself up. People will get over it. He is your baby and be will always be. God bless you and praying for you and your family.
Get them mcdonalds happy meals juice ice tea cheese burgers happy meal supper great idea
Why talk in front of him?
Becuse she wants to? Is it doing anything to you ? NO SO MIND UR FUCKING BUISNESS
@@HaruUraHH20 me or her ?
He doesn't understand her he's in his own bubble
@@mckenziecreech3414no, he understand what’s going on. Multiple Time he ask his mommy why she cry…. Your comment is the result of your ignorance about autism….🤦♀️
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